The Beaver
					
					
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We're Shafted!
Students lose out - again
Michael Bourke & El Barham
As the dust settles from last Wednesday's Higher Education White Paper controversy continues to rage about the government's plans to "radically reform" Britain's universities.
Although the introduction of top-up fees had been widely anticipated, the announcement by Secretary of State for Education Charles Clarke still came as a bitter blow to many in the student movement. Student leaders have lined up to lambaste the fees of up to £3,000 that universities will be able to charge from 2006.
There are widespread fears that these moves, which Clarke has admitted may leave graduates staring at debts of £21,000, will inhibit those from poorer backgrounds from going into higher education. Furthermore, there are concerns that the differential aspect of the scheme will create a "two tier" university system.
Supporters of the plans have been quick to point out that the abolition of upfront fees, the reintroduction of a small means tested grant and the deferred nature of payments are major advances for students and will help the poorest in society. A new Access Regulator will be created to ensure that imiversities are doing enough to broaden the social composition of their intakes. The regulator's approval will be needed by institutions wishing to charge fees higher than the current £1,100 limit.
Writing for today's Beaver, Clarke defends his White Paper, arguing "I believe these reforms are fair and affordable and will ensure able people, whatever their background, benefit from higher education."
In the academic community the plans
were mostly warmly welcomed, particularly at the LSE. The Director, Tony Giddens, speaking on the Today programme said: "I strongly support the scheme...Those who go to imiversity get several times the income over the course of their career as compared to those who don't. It's therefore socially just for them to pay more."
These thoughts were echoed by Professor Nick Barr of LSE's Economics Department, whose ideas on student finance had heavily influenced the review. Speaking to the Beaver, Barr said "We're moving towards the first best solution."
In the White Paper the government announced, alongside its plans for top-up fees, an increase of £2.3 billion in University funding. Many of those who work in higher education hope that, in tandem, the top measures will allow British imiversities to compete with their American rivals and preserve standards.
LSE students have been less enamoured by the government's plans. While current students will no be affected by the package, apart from the welcome...
Continued on page 2
LSE Economics Professor Nick Barr Full interview Page 6
LSE Stop The War Activist Disrupts Blair
"We will not be silenced"
Mike Bum
On Thursday afternoon in a Camden school, Tony Blair was heckled by an LSE student as the prime minister gave a speech which was intended to refocus attention on the government's public services plans. Iain Wilson of Worthing, West Sussex, managed to infiltrate Blair's speech which was filled with ardent Labour supporters using a friend's membership card. Once there he felt obliged to speak out against the prospect of war.
21 year old Iain, a third year sociology student at the School, told the Beaver that he hopes his conaments wiU show Blair that the issue of pending war cannot be ignored. He told Blair that he was "missing the point" over the Iraq issue. Mr. Wilson received a hero's reception in the Three Tuns on Thursday evening and throughout Friday people around the campus were calling him a hero and a legend.
Meanwhile Iain, known to his friends as 'Pikey' had an action packed media schedule on Friday with interviews for GMTV, the BBC, Sky and various newspapers and radio stations. Students spent the day reading about Iain's activities in various national newspapers and on the Clare Market building doors where press clippings had been posted.
Iain hopes his media coverage will promote activism in stopping the war. "Irrespective of political affiliation this is something far too important to ignore". He told the Beaver. Iain is a firm believer that direct action should not be ruled out in the opposition to a war in Iraq and if believes that protestors need to get noticed to get anywhere.
Further media interest is anticipated, not least on February 15 when thousands will congregate in London for a national Stop the War demonstration. Iain urges as many LSE students as possible
The Beaver Focus: LSE Newsmakers - Professor Nick Barr ik Iain Wilson Pago 6
Page 2
The Beaver News
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Tuesday 2Sth January
Straight From The Horse's Mouth...
Secretary of State for Education and Skills Charles Clarke explains why he believes that the time for change in London's universities is now...
WE HAVE excellent universities in London and LSE is right to be proud of its reputation.
LSE and other universities in London and across the country provide a first-class education for their students and lead world-class research.
But our universities face real challenges. While many more young people from all backgrounds now go to university, the social gap is still too wide.
I know too that there are still fears that the abolition of maintenance grants and introduction of up-front fees could deter students.
Universities warn lack of resources is preventing them from employing the best and brightest academics or funding the cutting-edge research our economy needs to prosper. College facilities need upgrading while lecture and tutorial sizes are increasing.
There is no easy way to meet these challenges. The Government is already tackling the decades of under-investment in higher education through a funding increase of over 6 per cent a year in real terms for the next three years. We are working hard to improve standards in our schools.
But if we are to support excellence in our universities so they create jobs and prosperity in our economy and ensure they play their full part in extending opportunity by increasing access, we must do
Continued from page 1: increase in the repayment threshold from £10,000 to £15,000, there was widespread dismay that the fight against top-up fees appeared to have been lost. An emergency motion condemning the White Paper was passed with minimal opposition at last Thursday's UGM.
It proposed an Open Meeting be held at which the student body could discuss how best to oppose the changes. A further emergency motion calling for an occupation of Student Services as an immediate protest against the White Paper did not receive sufficient support to be debated, an outcome that caused chaotic scenes at the end of the meeting.
Nationally, the student movement is almost unanimous in its opposition to top-up fees. Mandy Telford, President of the National Union of Students, said: "The student funding review was called in order to address the balance of contribution between the student and the state. That balance has certainly been addressed today with students footing the bill."
She added that whilst there were some positive aspects of the White Paper, such as deferred fees and the re-introduction of the maintenance grant, the astronomical fees would act as a deterrent to potential students from poorer backgrounds.
The SU Presidents of Oxford and Cambridge universities were also forthright in their attacks upon the government's strategy. Will Straw, the President of Oxford University Student Union, said "It is disgusting that we live in a society

Education Secretary Charles Clarke
more. So we are restoring maintenance grants of up to a £1000 a year for almost a third of all students. No student will have to pay tuition fees up-front but can delay repaying
Repayments won't start until you earn at least £15,000 - leaving many students better off in the early years of work - and the money will be collected through the tax system so it reflects ability to pay.
But universities do need more funding or they and their students will suffer. As graduates earn on average 50% more than those without degrees, it is fair that students pay a bigger share of the costs.
We have, however, rejected calls for students to be asked to pay as much as £15,000 a year towards the cost of their courses. Instead, from 2006, we are giving universities the power to vary the existing £1,100 tuition fees from nothing to a max-
which regards education as a private financial investment rather than a social good." 400 students staged a demonstration against the fees and the damage they believe will be done to widening participation on the steps of the University's famous Clarendon Building.
Frank Dobson MP; "If your academics think these proposals will help, then they have no understanding of economics."
Both the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats have also come out in opposition to the government's proposals. Damien Green MP, the Conservative Education Spokesman said "The success of the government's policy will be measured against three criteria. Is it fair to all students? Does it help universities remain strong, independent institutions? Will it spread opportunity? On all three counts it is sadly lacking."
Lib Dem spokesman Phil Willis MP said ""These funding proposals break eveiy single promise this Government has made to students and universities. University will be for the rich, rather than the talented."
imum £3,000 a year.
And they will only be able to raise fees if they prove to a new watchdog that they have policies in place to ensure they are not a barrier to wider access.
Some universities may raise fees for their most popular or expensive courses. But for other courses and at other universities, fees will stay the same or even be cut.
So the reforms will have different impacts on different students. Some who get the maintenance grant and whose course fees stay at £1,100 will find they are better off overall. Some will pay more
-	with the money going direct to their university to improve the education.
But the absolute maximum extra any student could pay under these plans, for a normal three year degree, would be £5,700
-	for which they can get an interest free loan which can be paid back over ten years or longer when they start working. It also means that students will continue paying just a fraction of the cost of their higher education with the rest stiU being met, rightly, by the tax-payer.
I believe these reforms are fair and affordable and will ensure able people, whatever their background, benefit from higher education. They will improve teaching and research at our universities and put higher education in London and across the country on a sound footing for decades to come.
Strong opposition is also anticipated from within the Labour party. Local Labour MP and former Secretary of State for Health, Frank Dobson, told the Beaver "Even with a full maintenance grant of £1000 a year, that still leaves £6000 debt not including the costs of living. If they don't think that will deter students from going to university they are not living in the real world."
Mr. Dobson, an LSE Alumnus, also remonstrated with the school's academics who have been key in the drawing up of the proposals. He said: "If your academics think these proposals will help, then they have no understanding of economics."
Criticising the inequality which he fears will result from differential fees, Dobson added: "Market forces always mean the best off get the best and the worst off get the worst."
When contacted by the Beaver, the School authorities were reticent about whether or not the LSE would choose to charge higher fees and if it would decide to vaiy them by subject. A spokeswoman said "Higher fees are permissible only from 2006, so LSE is not in a hurry to make a decision. In the meantime we are obliged to continue charging at the government rate." She continued "We also have a strongly positive line on access which we will be continuing to develop irrespective of whether we are obliged to have an agreement with the new Access Regulator."
So How Will You Pay Yours?
El Barham
SO UNIVERSITIES in collusion with the government are going to hike fees up, leaving us struggling students with tens of thousands of debt when we emerge bleaiy eyed from the Hins to enter the job market.
How are we to respond to this challenge? Quite frankly, the traditional job in retail or behind the bar is not going to suffice, so here are some creative ways of earning the much-needed extra cash:
Volunteer for clinical trials Richmond Pharmacology are offering up to £100 a day if you let them stick unknown substances of various descriptions down your throat, in your arm or up your bum. To compensate for the possibly imdesirable consequences, they provide all mod cons, including "a modem lounge with comfy sofas, TV, satellite, video and DVD. Meals are served in our bright, funky bistro style cafeteria! PC room with broadband Internet access - it's fast and totally FREE!" Ah, such tender, loving care. If interested, remember to avoid drugs and poppy seeds prior to your assessment - they want to make sure your strange behaviour is due to their narcotics not yours.

Sell your body
This tried and tested method offers flexible hours and relatively good pound per minute rates, if you are prepared to risk violence, rape, disease and irate pimps. In fact, it has proved to be so popular in some areas that the Malaysian government has set up a committee to monitor the activities of foreign students after being inundated by complaints from Malaysian women that their husbands were taking advantage of student impoverishment. One Malaysian minister commented: "While students are here, we want to make sure they study, pass their examinations and go back without getting involved in immoral activities." Good luck...
Take your clothes off
Some have been able to strip away more than their inhibitions in the search for funds. With salaries ranging from £35 -£45 for a twenty-minute job, this can seem a perfect way to raise some revenue, provided that you are sufficiently confident with your body image to stomach the idea of parading around naked in front of throngs of giggling girls or ogling lads. However, a few precautions are necessary, as the experiences of one now full-time lecturer reveal. He spent the night in hospital after a particularly enthusiastic client took a bite out of his rear end, all witnessed by a fellow student who happened to be at the hen-night in question.
A
LSE In No Hurry To Make Top-Up Decision
Tuesday 28 th January
The Beiwer News
Page 3
Meadway Ejected From UGM As Occupation Bid Fizzles Out
El Barham
The LSE was treated to a stirring and controversial UGM this week, as emergency motions were tabled to oppose the recently announced introduction of top-up fees.
But even before these were discussed, a bitter note crept into the proceedings, as the student body rose in response to allegations made by Justin Nolan in last week's Beaver Four members of the Exec were called on stage to furnish those assembled with details of their activities during their previous months as officers.
Apart from the Equal Opportunities (Male) Officer, who appeared to imply that his post was pointless, they answered their questions with ease and aplomb. When the Executive Editor of the Beaver, Ibrahim Rasheed, was asked whether he believed that the four members mentioned in Nolan's article were the four members who had just been interrogated, he maintained that it must be entirely coincidental.
It can only be hoped that following this, members of the Exec will endeavour to undertake their responsibilities with increased effort.
The already charged atmosphere of the UGM was then intensified as the emergency motions were brought to discussion. Two separate motions, one moderate and one from the hard left, were submitted.
The first motion, massively carried, authorised a future meeting to discuss the government's proposals for higher education funding, with the General Secretary to report its conclusions at a later date.
The second, more controversial motion, called for an occupation of the Student Services centre immediately following the conclusion of the UGM. However, when voting on whether to debate this motion, the hard left didn't get
the majority they needed, leaving the Chair no choice but to refuse that the motion be discussed.
In disgust, James Medway, who had proposed the motion, marched angrily on stage, flouting the strict constitutional rules which govern the UGM. He was subsequently ordered to leave the Old Theatre by the Chair.
After this dramatic conclusion, the gathered throngs streamed out of the Old Theatre. Disappointed and frustrated at being denied a say, a small but vocal group of dissenters, including members of LSE's Socialist Society, proceeded to march to the Student Service Centre, waving placards and blowing whistles and klaxons.
Members of security, who had congregated in anticipation of a much larger turnout, looked on in amusement as the protesters completed a single lap of the Centre and proceeded to make their way out of the Old Building.
The parade made its way through Houghton Street and down into the Quad, closely followed by a consignment of chocolates being distributed as part of Depression Awareness Week. This was probably just as well, due to the demoralising effect that the depreciating size of the movement must have been having on its supporters.
Seconds later, the remaining core protesters, about 20 in number, re-emerged into Houghton Street. The whole event lasted precisely five minutes.
Speaking of the failed occupation, Graham Copp, Chair of the Socialist Society said: "The question of the occupation is a side issue. It is important that we continue to oppose top-up fees across the country."
His optimism was not shared by his fellow protestors. Not knowing quite how to follow up what can only be described as 'a damp squib', they engaged in an inter-
nal debate as to how best to proceed. One group argued that the occupation should go ahead as the various posters had promised, whilst the other side maintained that the whole enterprise should be abandoned in the name of democracy. In the end, the increasingly heated discussion failing to solve the dilemma, they dispersed, with no further action being taken.
A prominent SU insider neatly summed up the whole situation, commenting, "They couldn't even occupy my bedroom."

student activist James Meadway unsuccessfully attempts to rally the troops at the UGM
Now It's Bac To The Future!
Further reforms planned after A-level fiasco
Tom Jenkins
A levels and GCSEs could be scrapped and replaced with a European style baccalaureate exam, under changes being considered by the government.
An inquiry team, to be headed by for-
Students studying for the International Baccalaureate
mer chief inspector of schools Mike Tomlinson, has been tasked with looking into the implementation of a 'bac' system. Tomlinson is also the author of the notorious report into last years A level marking fiasco, seen by many as a classic blame absolving fudge.
However, TomUnson has been keen to emphasise his open-minded attitude to possible reform. He said: "It is possible to envisage a baccalaureate that retains A-levels and GCSEs, and equally it is possible to envisage a model that doesn't. Both are options."
In contrast, David Miliband, minister for schools, is enthusiastic in his support for the bac, believing that its advantages can be observed across the continent and in the US. He said: "If they can gain currency in higher education and for employers, we think they offer the best route forward for the country."
Under the proposal outlined in the recently published White Paper, a greater emphasis will be placed on employment experience and vocational courses.
'Citizenship classes' have also been mooted as a possibility. According to Education Secretary Charles Clarke, the key aim of the reforms is to reduce the numbers choosing to drop out at 16 to combat the UK's poor record in encouraging pupils to remain in school beyond this age.
The A level system has come under sustained criticism in recent years for being to heavily based around traditional academic subjects, as well as being too specialised. The introduction of AS levels, far from solving these problems, has given rise to allegations of exam overload and an erosion of the "gold standard".
However, a further alteration in the already beleaguered exam system may not be the answer. Teachers and examiners alike were vocal in their opposition to the new AS and A2 examinations, claiming that they were not given enough time to implement the changes. Scrapping this new system for yet another option will lead to further accusations of a governmental knee-jerk response to problems in the education system.
Union Jack
't was Depression Awareness Week again, as evidenced by the stylish ,acid inspired Happy Face T-shirts worn by the Sabbs, and upon entering the UGM, Jack was met with the pleas- ¦ ant sight of a feverish SU Exec doing more work than they had done all year. Handing out the chocolate they hadn't managed to stash behind their seats must have been very tiring work, and the poor darlings looked quite exhausted as they collapsed following their exertions.
Jack is surprised no eager tree-hug- : ger came forward to whinge about the chocolates being made by Nestle, but perhaps they had their mouths full. Akela tried to cheer everyone up by announcing that she had, at last, visited Wrights, but Jack feels that this is a case of too little, too late, and although she is to be commended for her effort, the UGM will not be mollified so easily. He would also like to suggest that before taking office, all Sabbs in future must say an oath of allegiance to the Silver Fox; as well promise simple things like to be honest and to uphold the constitution, just as Nixon and Clinton did.
First announcement from the Chair: yet another plug for the debating society. The UGM was then informed by Patronising Dave, who will, if he clenches any tighter, have to hop onto the stage every week, that he would Knock precisely 15 seconds before the end of a speech, and we should all pay attention. However, Dave himself did not pay attention as he allowed some fairly irrelevant questions. Asking Tall Paul what he's done work-wise this week makes about as much sense as George Bush wearing a 'Make Love Not War'T-shirt. :
When Pisstaker and Madway tried to storm the stage, incensed that their motion was deemed to silly to be discussed, Pisstaker was manhandled off the podium, a much anticipated event. Dave stopped short of doing the same to Madway, who eventually left, followed by his disappointed follower ; and other assorted Trots. Jack: was shocked and appalled by the fruit and paper throwing that went on throughout the tirade of ranting during the attempted takeover - a disgraceful dis play from the Balcony Boys, who should after all have developed a much better aim by now after all the 'training' they claim to do.
Jack thought that it was so nice to see the UGM so well attended, and for once not with smelly gypos, but instead an interesting rag tag and bobtail mix of assorted hacks baying for the blood of the Exec, Occupation fetishists and assorted bribed friends and family members of the candidates for the Residences Officer skirmish. After the usual amount of planted questions (57.2 seconds' worth, as decreed by Patronising Dave), it was later announced that Rishi Madlani was to become the newest member of the second most reviled body in the LSESU -the only way to sink lower being to join the Conservative Association...
Page 4
JheBeacarFarEhmg
Tuesday 28th January
The Beaver's Weekly Round Up Of Student News
with Lyie Jackson

Exams. Designed to 'bring out the best in us', but so often have the effect of bringing out the worst. Whether its staying up all night to revise, being stressed and unreasonable, hitting the bottle, hitting walls or hitting people, many students are not really themselves around exam time. Have we finally got some evidence that even the most unlikely members of society are 'just like the rest of us'? Police would like any clues to help identify the perpetrator of two indecent assaults in St. Andrews last weekend, after the last university exams. They would like to speak to a 'tall, blonde male in his late teens or early twenties'. Has exam stress affected the town's most famous resident?
?
The News of The World reports this week that Justin Timberlake, Nsync front man and former boyfriend of pop queen Britney Spears is dating a student from the University of London. According to the rag, "My source told me: "She was a great mover and Justin wasn't the only man in the club to go weak at the knees looking at her. They were laughing and shouting in each other's ears." (A slightly harsh interpretation, he was probably trying to sing to her.) Justin fell for the gorgeous girl; known only as Sarah-Jane, when he saw her dancing sexily at London's Browns nightclub last Sunday. The 22-year-old is studying business at the University of London. More importantly, this story shows us one of the extra-curricular benefits of studying at the University of London. I have compiled a short table to help anyone you know to make that all-important higher education choice. League tables in terms of celebrities:
1	LSE
2	Mystery University
3	Imperial
4	UCL
5	Westminster
6	Kings
Jennifer Lopez Britney Spears Courtney Cox Arquette Charlie Dimmock Martina Navaratilova Anna Nicole Smith
More exam related stories, and another one to make us thankful that we don't have January exams. After a relaxing first term back at university and merry Christmas (full of good cheer), a second year Leeds student began to get slightly worried about an exam on her first module. She embarked on the time-honoured student tradition of burning the midnight oil. In fact, she burned enough midnight oil to power a small nation, and spent their GDP on enough Red Bull, Pro Plus and coffee to sink their only battle ship. For six days before the exam, she had stayed awake revising and helping the local corner shop to reach its quarterly earnings target on caffeine related products by January 16th. With not a wink of sleep for six days and nights, she left the house wide eyed and with a heart rate only matched by the beat of the cream of today's drum and bass. Somehow, through a caffeine haze she reached the exam and later returned 'home to collapse on the sofa in exhaustion. Later in the day, her housemates returned to find her and asked how the exam had gone. Having expected her to fall asleep during the test, they were surprised to hear that her essays were 'two of the best she had ever written' and concluded that the technique must be a good one. When the exam results were posted early last week, the young lady (who had probably just woken up) was gob smacked to discover she had only received 1%! Later that day, she bought a copy of her own transcript to see what had gone wrong. On six full pages, she had written her name over and over! There are two morals to this story, firstly (and this should be no great surprise) don't stay awake for six days whether you have an exam or not. Secondly and of great relief to those of you who haven't looked at a reaiding list yet, it confirms the rumour that (at least at Leeds) you do receive marks for writing your
Enrique Iglesias Justin Timberlake David Scwimmer Alan Titchmarsh Rolf Harris
1990 CoramonweMth Games Lawn Bowls champion, Rob Parrella
Incidentally, TNoTW opened with: TIMBER! 'Wood you believe it!' Which I knew I couldn't match, but I tried for hours. Justin gets Nsync with London student - 'wbuld you be my girlfriend?' That should sort out my job-himting problems!
Tkiesday 28th January
The Beiwar News
Page 5
BANG BANG BANGS ON No Tower Too High...
THERE'S NO tower too high, no plane that I can't learn how to flyl Alleluia brothers and sisters, that crazy LSE cat Ian gave the status quo exactly what I was banging on about last time we spoke! He stood up and was counted (of course MI6 know where he lives now, which ain't so nice) and raised the roof on none other than Lord Blair of Downing Street.
It took the Government's minders to silence my guy and bail out the hypocritical PM who hasn't a leg to stand on. I hope young Skywalker's well-delivered political point was only a beginning spark and not the final flicker in what will be the war of our time (expect the draft to be resurrected soon enough).
The way I see it, there are two types of people in this world. Those with loaded guns and those who dig. Well I applaud those who say and do what they believe in with all guns blazing whether I agree with them or not (this isn't Russia is it, is this Russia?), whereas our noble Lords would rather we all mumbled along with big macs in our mouths. Well, silence is betray-
al and I cannot square myself with being silent about the things that matter in life, thus I bang on.
Take Bob Mugabe, the man who runs Zimbabwe and sports a cheeky Hitler tash. He's a no good swindler who betrays his people and prostitutes the land to the highest bidder so long as he can still get hold of his Mr Byrite suits. Does any one from No 10 deliver even the frailest threat or dissatisfied message to the man? Kidding Right! We play gentlemanly cricket with him!
Those gutless political prostitutes haven't got the grapefruits to knock on old granny Smith's door in case she actually finds them out let alone confront a black politician from an ex-colony in case they appear to be racist! Never mind the fact that his rule is crippling lives! Well I say just go and bomb Iraq instead, nobody minds shooting Arabs, some other roody pooh dictator lives over there, his address is on your arms invoices Mr & Mrs chin-less-wonder, life-long party member!
All this goes on whilst Slob Milosevic is banged up in prison, still without being
found guilty ot anything, still under the auspices of a supposed international court that America doesn't even recognise in case her military endeavours were brought into question! Well weeping Jesus! Tell me I'm not m,m,m,m,ad! Milosevic kills terrorists and we have to believe he is Satan, shaped with the pride of Lucifer himself, whilst every other leader around the world has, does or will do exactly the same things or worse and we will call them good freetraders without a first thought! It's all gone word play crazy I tell you!
Now I see Sir Elton John is back in the charts, SIR F*$@ING Elton John? Did we all miss something? (The great Irish-Italian comedian Ian Cognito didn't!) Who's next for a title. Sir Gary - poking a Cambodian boy - Glitter! Drop me right out! The only Sirs I would doth my cap to are the one's that save ladies in distress, wear shining armour and kill big lizards.
Titles don't make you noble, and certainly not the titles they hand out nowadays. What I'm looking for in those who are supposed to be my elders, my role models, is integrity, of which they have none.
The thing is, the Bang can t decide whether to hit em'all where it hurts, opt for the passive resistance approach, or just push the boat out till doomsday. Ti'uth is I think I made my mind up before I was born and if I wake up dead I wouldn't regret it. After all, nothing in the universe can be the same as it was while somewhere, nobody knows where, a sheep which we have never seen, may or may not have eaten a flower.
Like you, I'm trying to understand the world we are living in. That's why you gotta keep questioning everything (will I need a bodyguard? Is love only a word? Are there plenty more fish in the sea or only algae? Is the talent in the choices? Is global warming real because I haven't noticed it? Is the new look Wright's Bar all wrong? ) and building your own system else you end up a slave to another man's. It seems man in this world is a little worse than his reputation and a little better. Alas, from the heart as ever, wishing you angel's wings and some magic things, remember what we spoke about. I'm going to grace land BANG BANG!
Elliott's Scorching Societies Column
It's so hot it's cool!
THE SCRIPT - ONLINE!!!
TheScript.net is live - the LSE Students Journal is now online at www.thescript.net. Have a look at past editions, look out for the next issue, and get more information on how you can write for us. For more information, contact su.soc.script@lse.ac.uk.
stimulus wiU avoid the threat of global deflation. Paul Donovan regularly appears on CNN, Bloomberg TV, IHTV CNBC and BBC World Service.
LSESU RUSSIAN SOCIETY -
TALK BY THE RUSSIAN AMBASSADOR TO UK "Russia in the 21st Century"
SOCIALIST WORKER - MARXIST FORUM;
IS VENEZUELA HEADING FOR A CHILE-STYLE COUP?
DATE: Tuesday, 28th January LOCATION: The Underground Bar TIME: 1300-1400 COST: free to all
Whilst the build-up to war in the Middle East continues, another major oil-producer suffers from US intervention. On 11 September, 1973, the democratically elected president of Chile, Salvador Allende, was overthrown in a bloody coup by General Pinochet,
backed by the CIA and authorised by Henry Kissinger. Oscar Chavez in Venezuela has now faced off one US-backed coup, and is in the midst of a "general strike" organised to oust him from power. We ask what are the prospects for democracy in Latin America, and look at Venezuela's role in the continuing "war on terror". Speaker is Pete Jackson.
SOCIALIST - THE FIGHT FOR PEACE
DATE: Tuesday, 28th January LOCATION: H103 TIME: 17:00 COST: Free
DATE: Wednesday, 29th January LOCATION: D202 TIME: 19:30 COST: Free
The talk is chaired by Professor Margot Light and followed by a Q&A session and a reception! This is a chance for you to get an insight into Russian political life, a chance to ask some questions on what worries you or on what you find amusing.
BUSINESS - HEADS OF RECRUITMENT MLP, DRESDNER (Financial Analyst, Merrill Lynch)
DATE: Thursday, 30th of January VENUE: S78 TIME: 18:00.
COST: Free
This seminar will provide an interesting overview of skills required for jobs with such prestigious firms and the current global markets.
LGBT - LGBT MIND THE GAP @ THE QUAD
With George GaUoway MP, Bob Crow (RMT trade union or perhaps "the most dangerous man in Britain!"), Kate Hudson (Vice Chair, CND) and Louise Hutchins (NUS NEC pper-sonal capacity). With the build up for war against the people of Iraq, tension mounting on the Korean peninsula and the deployment of National Missile Defense, this meeting brings together some of Britain's foremost peace campaigns and activists.
BUSINESS & SIS - PANEL DISCUSSION WITH UBS WARBURG FEATURING PAUL DONOVAN (Deputy Head of Global Economics for UBS Warbuig)
DATE: Tuesday, 28th of January LOCATION: G108 TIME: 19:00 COST: Free
DATE: Monday 3rd February LOCATION: The Quad TIME: 8pm-llpm COST: Free
As part of the LGBT Awareness Week: The biggest LGBT party @ LSE ever! Students from all London universities will be there...cheap drinks, great music, lots of fun! Everyone's invited!
To advertise your Society in the 'Societies Page' in the Beaver, the 'Global Email' or the News Section of the SU Website please email Elliot Simmons - the SU Societies Officer -at E.C.Simmons@lse.ac.uk by the Thursday before the paper / global email you wish to advertise in is published. Please send adverts in the format of those above.
'Dealing with Deflation Risk' a view of the general economic outlook and how policy
Page 6
The Beaver :LSENeiv8niahers
No holds Barr-ed
LSE Higher Education expert Nick Barr gets cosy with the Beaver senior news editor IVIichael Bourke
All the best stories have two common elements. First they have a critical issue, a matter of such importance that it gives the tale its relevance and importance. Second they have a telling human dimension, a relationship that contrasts with the scale of the task and brings it home to the reader.
Of course, opinion is very much divided as to whether or not the government's Higher Education White Paper should be described as one of the "best stories" or indeed anything other than a disastrous tale of woe.
But LSE Economics Professor Nick Barr, even when speaking to the Beaver through what he describes as "a stinking cold" and at the end of an incredibly hectic week, is unashamedly upbeat. He recounts his role in the forthcoming changes to UK higher education with enthusiasm. And you can see why, as stories go it has both the elements needed to be at least a ripping yam.
Appropriately, it all began a long, long time ago, the mid-1980s to be precise. In 1987 the government's Higher Education Green Paper "effectively nationalised the sector", Barr tells me, leaving him "feeling appalled by the supine national academic response" to the underfunding and government interference that were plaguing Britain's universities. So he decided to do something about it, developing over time a detailed package of measures, very many of which found their way into last Wednesday's package.
But policy ideas, however laudable and wise they may be, do not make their way into reality via osmosis. And here Barr got lucky, meeting a young LSE economics graduate called Iain Crawford who went to work as the School's Press Assistant. Together Barr and Crawford formed a double act, with the economics professor doing most of the economics and the press officer doing most of the public relations. Sort of the Smithian Pin Factory meets public policy really.
For the next 15 years the duo lobbied and wrote remorselessly, giving evi-
dence to Select Committees and mandarins about the failings of various government schemes and their proposed remedies. Barr is robust when discussing what he sees as the flaws in these regimes. For example, he describes the Bearing Report as "screwing the brightest British students" when it gave Universities the power to charge full fees to international students.
Similarly he dismisses the zero real rating of student debt as "inefficient, expensive, regressive and hostile to quality and access". He would prefer to see the loans charged at the government's real borrowing rate, something not even Charles Clarke felt able to swallow.
Barr is at pains to point out that his policy proposals "are not a right wing rant." He argues that "the only ideology underpinning them is a deep commitment to access and to higher education." And, whatever some members of the student movement may say about top-up fees opening the door to privatisation and worse still Americanisation, his credentials are impressive. Not only did he write a book (The Economics of the Welfare State) detailing the efficiency arguments for the state intervention in many areas of life but he also speaks with obvious passion about widening participation.
His support for the government package, which he says he's "very much in favour of", stems from the application of economic theory to the problem at hand. Barr believes that the "the fundamental principle of the review is deeply, deeply progressive" and that the free education model idealised by some old style lefties is really "spraying money at the middles classes which is regressive." By getting people to pay more for higher education only if they can afford to do so after they have completed their studies blanket subsidies to the well off are avoided and help can be targeted at those who need it most. There are echoes here of a social insurance model, Beveridge and a previous epoch of LSE policy development. The issue of interest subsidies apart, Barr argues that "We're getting towards the first best solu-
tion." He also says that he "can see the benefits of competition" that differentiated fees will bring. Little quarter is given to those who worry about a "two-tier" system. Barr is emphatic that "Universities shouldn't be the same - diversity and choice are good things."
As one would expect of someone who has been campaigning on higher education funding for a decade and a half, Barr knows his stuff and has neatly packaged point-by-point rebuttals for the standard attacks he has faced. When asked about the possibility that debt aversion might deter the poor from ever applying to university he is quick to stress the importance of access initiatives and summer schools. Candidly he suggests that students are more likely to succeed at making higher education seem feasible than academics and that "These initiatives need to happen on a much larger scale."
His second point appears more controversial, his contention that the debts students will face are "not large -they only seem large". The supporting argument (Does any 18 year old lose sleep over the fact that they're going to owe the government about £1 million of taxes over their life time?) is theoretically compelling, but somehow it still seems that the figure of an extra £20 000 of obvious debt will deter people. In response, Barr highlights an uncomfortable tension, would we really want to say that poor kids are just too thick to see the benefits of higher education? The argument is deliberately stylised and even a little simplistic but it still hints at a difficult truth.
Talking of difficult truths. Professor Barr might have to face one himself. Having spent 15 years arguing for radical changes he's finally got (most of) what we wanted. The man who credibly states he has a "deep belief in higher education as a fimdamental right" will see over the next few years if a government initiative closely modelled on his thoughts can actually deliver it. A funding system based on ex poste payments by students has become a matter of ex ante commitment for one LSE academic...
LSE Heckler lain Wilson in action






Tuesday 2$th January
7"/7eBeaver Tea m
EXECUTIVE EDtTOR Ibrahim Rasheed
MANAGING EDITOR Mike Burn
BUSINESS MANAGER Nicholas Stoker
TECHNICAL DIREaOR Brian Choudhary
NEWS EDITORS Wtchael Bourke, El Barham
B:UNKED1T0RS
:, Ibrahim Rasheed; Brian Choudhary : :
B:ART EDITOR ............Justin Nolan
SPORTS EDITORS Holly Featherstone; Gareth Carter
PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Rowan Harvey
B:UNK ASSISTANT EDITOR
..... Ben Chapman
POLITICS EDITOR Adam Quinn
INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS EDITORS	'
Patrick Murdoch; Brian Kelly
B:LINICINVESTIGAT1VE FEATURES
; ^ ¦¦ V	Chris Thomas	¦
ECONOMIC AFFAIRS	^
EdCalow	I
FILM EDITORS Eleanor Keech; Terance Li
MUSIC EDITORS Mike Burn; Jazmin Burgess
CLUBBING EDITOR Tom Miskin
LITERARY EDITOR Dalia King
THEATRE EDITOR ............Keith Postler
THE COLLECTIVE
Duncan 'two offices' Adams.Serif Alp Atakcao, El Barham, Christina Beharry, Peter Bellini, Matthias Benzer, Vida Bromby-Tavener, Farzan Bilimoria, James 'Mullet' Baker, Michael Bourke, Leonard Brouwer, Hannah Bryce, Lome Charles, Ed Cook, Dave Cote, Naomi Colvin, Peter Coupe, Dan Cumming, Nafeesa Ermes, Tristan Feunteun, Juii Gan, Julia Giese, Ian Gascoigne, Sarah Greenberg, Row/an Harvey, Sib Hayer, Jez Healey, Lindsay Hoag, Dani Ismail, Katherine Jacomb, Lyie Jackson, Tom Jenkins, Edward Jones, Tuuli; ' Kousa, Candice MacDonald, Dan Madden, Vita Maynard, Loz Morgan, Garbrielle Menezes, Ruth Molyneux, Linda Morris, Shashwat Nanda, Robin Noble, Justin Nolan, Phillip Nielsen, Samantha Nicklin, Daniela Ott, Priya Parkash, Neel Patel, Nicholas Pauro, Sarah Peet, Alison Perine, Chelsea Phua, Kirstine Potts, Claire Pryde, Vanessa Raizberg, Jan Rattay, Zaf Rashid, Loretta Reehill, Piers Sanders, Susannah Sava, Andy Saxton, James Sharrock, Elliot Simmons. Matthew Stoate, Donny Surtani Jamie Tehrani, Saija Vuola, Julius Walker, Laura Wheeler.-: - '
¦ PRINTED BY WEST COUNTRY DESIGN a PRINT
Tuesday 2Sth January
JheBeaverEditorid
Page 7
Editonicd Comment
No to Differential Fees
The reforms to higher education announced last Wednesday have proved to be a disappointment for many. Students across the country had been united in their opposition to the introduction of top up fees. At LSE, that bastion of self centred career oriented students, there was a much larger turn out at the National Demo last December. Yet all this has been in vain.
The new proposals do have a lot of positive aspects. Compared to the fears surrounding the farcical UCL-Imperial merger, where it was suggested that fees could go as high as £10,000, the introduction of fees of up to £3,000 per annum is relatively tame. What is positive is that payment of fees will be deferred until after graduation. Thus, those repaying fees will not be students but graduates. This is an argument long espoused by prominent LSE academic Nick Barr who shares his thoughts with us in this week's edition. Another welcome initiative is the increase in the repayment threshold from £10,000 to £15,000. This would be to the benefit of the least well-off and will hopefully lead to greater changes to
improve access.
The single aspect of the White Paper that the Beaver disagrees with most is the introduction of differential tuition fees. Under the scheme proposed, universities will have the power to set their ovra tuition fees from nothing to up to £3000. This will mean that the more prestigious universities will charge the highest threshold and those floundering at the bottom of the league tables will be forced to charge lower fees in order to attract students. This in turn will mean that the poorer students would opt to go for these universities for financial reasons even if they did have the grades. We are trjring to emulate the system in place in the United States, yet without the wide range of scholarships awarded on the other side of the Atlantic this system is detrimental.
Hopefully there will not be much change at LSE and differential fees will not be charged within the school. The large body of international and postgraduate students mean that the financial situation here is totally different. But that, of course, is up to the new man coming in from the FSA.
Giving Blair the Willies
Congratulations to LSE heckler Iain Wilson. Tony Blair has been steering the country towards war without the approval of his cabinet, his backbenchers, and the majority of his country. Yet those in positions of power are silenced by the party whip and the rest... well lets not even go there. Why is Blair doing this? The obvious answer is that he truly believes that going to war with Iraq is the right thing to do. Well, that's fair enough. But to commit his entire country against its wishes to a large
scale military operation which will lead to death and destruction to a country already crippled by economic sanctions and a tyrannical regime is folly.
Wilson reminded Blair that he could not hide behind his ardent disciples. His comments fazed Blair as they should have done. He should stop trying to go it alone and hold a proper debate in the House of Commons. Wilson also reminded us that the little people can make a difference. LSE's role is pivotal so be sure to get more involved.
Letters to the Editor
Sir,
I understand that Ms de Franco has been in contact with you about her unfortunate experience at the graduation ceremony last month, where she arrived only to find out that she could not be presented.
This should not have happened, and we have written to her to apologise. Our policy is not to tell any debtors their results, because otherwise we should be in a poor position to protect the School's income, to the detriment of everyone. This causes particular problems vdth those who have failed: therefore she
Dear Sir,
I attended the UGM of the 23/01/03 and was, as a result of a set of circumstances, hit by a piece of fruit - an orange or the like. If the perpetrator of this act had some personal greivance against my self or person then he or she did not make it known upon my enquiry as to who the fuck had just throvm it. More likely a summation of their motivation was that I was sitting at the back near the door and as such near the exit through which James Medway (?) was exiting, having been expelled from said UGM, and that the tosser of aforementioned citrus article was directing it at him. Despite the probability of the pitcher belonging to the AU being greatly increased due to the sporting association's vociferous antipathy towards the Stop the War Coalition, the object's trajectory was askew and it sailed blithely past its (presumed) target to hit the wall behind me, exploding and showering the back of my neck and right shoulder with pith, juice and assorted bioflavanoid components. From a mood of interest in proceedings at the lively meeting I quickly became incensed at the gross liberty that had been taken against my person. Not only was the sensation an unpleasant one, but my freshly laimdered puUover woiild need a wash. Even as I write, the sickly sweet smell of orange lingers in my nostrils, a once homely smell, associated with Christmas stockings and the like, now marred by an ugly incident. I shall probably never be able to look at, let alone even contemplate eating, an orange again. Beyond my own personal dicomfort, the episode has wider, and more concerning resonances. That the UGM is an excellent
did not know that she had failed, and she came to London on a false understanding of the situation. We have offered her repayment of her out of pocket expenses, for example robes, and will pay her air fare to come here for a future ceremony when she has passed.
We are reviewing our poUcy in respect of debtors who do not pass, but at this stage it is too soon to say what the result will be.
George Kiloh Academc Registrar
forum for debate within LSE and that the tradition of hurling soft(ish) comestibles at political opponents in Britain are both cherished, I do not see that this individual's action, egged on as he or she may have been by peers, is at all justified. The use of violence to express a political point CAN i think be a justifiable one, but it must have some sort of basis, and i severely doubt that the tosser had any coherent point to make about the limits to free speech that must necce-sarily be an attribute of a liberal order, or the relative weakness of verbal argument in the face of violence, or even a surrealist statement dissmissing the entire debate. Rather my own view is that the action a was mindless reaction to a point of view my (unintentional) assailant took offence to, with my being hit a result thereof. If the lobber can give an accoimt of his or her actions beyond "I didn't like him so I chucked the nearest thing that came to hand in his general direction" then I, for one, would be intrigued to hear it. However, if they cannot may I suggest that they join the AU (if they are not already a member) and fuck off to theHins, get pissed, be sick, get their degree, go and work in an investment bank, and then die from stress related illness before they can cash in their enormous final salary pension just hke the LSE wants them to do.
Yours slightly less incensed for having vented righteous anger Tom Gibson
Dear Sir,
In last weeks Beaver Justin Nolan claims "There are at least four members of the Exec, who are not worthy of their titles". He claims they abuse their positions and don't care about the interests of stu dents.
Doesn't he have a duty to tell us who "they" are? Chris Doyle
Beaver Collective Meeting
Thursday 2pm in the Beaver Office
All writers and contributors welcome
Dress: Smart Casual Bring Your Own Bottle
Dear Sir,
Calev Bender's reply to my article nicely illustrates some of the observations, today and 15-20 years ago, that I wrote about, e.g.:
(i)	Unlike myself and other Beaver writers, Calev Bender did not start writing for the Beaver out of a desire to give something back to the LSE community. He appeared when he felt that certain interests were at stake and aims to disappear as soon as the job is done.
(ii)	The racists in this debate are those who are always first to scream "racist!" at others; and which, more generally, try to operate on the principle of "he who screams loudest, wins". For really good measure, Calev Bender accuses me of spreading "Zionist conspiracy theories" and a "hate-filled article". I hate no-one, I describe what I see and I have worked and lived with Jews since Mr Bender
was a small child. I have extremely good personal reasons to be "pro-semitic".
My most recent article was addressed principally at the LSE's UJS. It describes activities observed over a long time span and recommends that some of the activists stop to wonder whether the game is worth the candle. I know that . many Jews privately agree with me. I have a son and a daughter and would not dream of asking them to support or accept genocide. I fear that one day Mr Bender will have children and the same will not be true. My point is: do not support the actions of Israel or Israel will come to haunt you.
I hope that clears things up. Give it some thought. My purpose is not helped by another young student repeating some old lies.
Returning briefly to two of Calev Bender's "points":
1.	Is he really denying that the vast majority of the people who voted against the "Boycott Israel" motion were Jewish? That they were organised by the UJS and supported by the Jewish press? That they brought in outsiders and issued them with things that looked like LSE cards? Then I would invite him to take a look at the student section of the Jewish Chronicle, which describes how the UJS sends students all over the country to hijack motions criticising Israel. Is this some sort of Zionist concept of democracy? The principal tactic is physical intimidation and a lot of shouting. I merely describe what I have seen over a period spanning a couple of decades and would be angry if it were done in my name.
2.	Is he really describing Israel as a "democracy", which "makes territorial concessions to its neighbours" etc? This is like saying that he would not mind if the UK took away the right of all Jewish
citizens to own land, expelled most of them to a derelict corner of the country where it controlled their access to drinking water, the sea, etc., and forced them into economic slavery, humiliated them, murdered people on a daily basis... Need I continue? Nobody oppresses Israeli soldiers and they act out of racial hatred. Depending on the period you look at, Israel murders roughly 20 to 40 times as many Palestininans as the other way round. To use the latter as some sort of justification for the former is ludicrous. Funny also, I was under the impression that, far from ever having made "territorial concessions", Israel had tried to annex new territories and systematically built settlements, roads and infrastructure on other people's land to which only if has access.
J. Duesing
cture Says a 1
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Jo Kibble and Matthew Willcress
assess the government's new proposals for the future of higher education funding.
The Labour Manifesto for the 2001 General Election stated: "We will not introduce 'top-up fees' and have legislated to prevent them." How things have changed. Last Wednesday, the government did exactly what it promised not to do only a couple of years ago. Sally Hunt, leader of the Association of University Teachers, immediately responded by saying that the fees would become "much-detested". On Thursday our very own UGM quite rightly responded by passing an emergency motion noting "these proposals represent a significant step backwards in student funding, with the introduction of a market-based approach to higher education."
So what exactly does the government have in store for Higher Education? The provision for differential charging across universities and courses is for fees of up to £3,000 per year to be paid back after graduation.
This ceiling is only guaranteed until 2011 and the poorest students will only be exempted from the first £1,100 of these fees. As the 'top-up'
section of any fee will not be means tested, many currently exempt from paying fees will now have to contribute up to £1,900. On the positive side there is the introduction of a grant, but only at £1,000 per year, and with the full amount only being available to those whose parental income is less than £10,000 per annum (estimated by the government as only about 11% of families.) Some of those who receive the grant will still incur increased debts as it is offset by paying higher fees. There is no provision for the increase of the level of loan or for preferential treatment for those studying in high-cost locations such as London which may well have a big effect on whether people choose to study at LSE. The government itself admits that the end result of this is that many students could be leaving university with £15,000 of debt, and others have put the figure nearer to double that.
There are two central problems with this for those concerned that choices of education be made on the basis of learning and not finance, and
who stick to the notion that education is a public good and not just a private commodity to be purchased by the privileged few. The first of these is the higher debt and fee levels. Minister Margaret Hodge has previously admitted that already students "may not enter HE because of an aversion to debt", yet now the government seems to be changing its tune. The plans are not what the economy or society needs, and the debt could mean that they will not lead to widening access and participation or to a more educated workforce. For example, Colin Smith, of the British Medical Association, said in response to the plans that "Medical students qualify with an average debt of almost £13,000 and this will rocket under the Government's plans for reform. The Government is struggling to recruit extra doctors to the NHS, yet its plans for higher education will penalise a workforce that they desperately need." Large sections of British society and
some problems of its own. In Australia, where fees were first introduced in 1989, a similar scheme has not widened access or increased participation or resolved the funding crisis in any significant way. It has however left many graduates with a lifetime of debt. One in three women will still be repaying their loans at retirement and one in four people never expect to fully repay their debts.
The good news for students though is that there is huge opposition to top-up fees, student debt and a two-tier system of higher education, which means a mass campaign and show of
SIGN THE STATEMENT STOP THIS SCAM!
Tuition Fees Scam Israel;A Democracy Under Fire Silence is Betrayal Turtcey: Living on the Edge Policy Options for North Korea The Nuclear Bang Outgunning Bun Crime
LSEHEFUNDING@hotmail.com). The statement, which calls for a campaign capable of forcing the government to reduce student debt, has so far been signed by a member of the LSE SU executive, representatives of a wide range of societies from the cultural (including officers of the poetry and modem dance societies,) to the national (including the Romanian society secretary), to the political (including officers from the Labour, Socialist, Schapiro Government and Debate societies), and a number of other students.
economy, from trade unions to business leaders are therefore worried by these plans.
The second problem is the worrying likely effects of differential pricing which would create a market-based, multi-tiered system of higher education funding. As minister Clare Short had previously pointed out, "We'll have real two-tier universities and the rich would pay extra fees and go to the classy, elitist universities rather like the US." Phil Willis, Liberal Democrat education spokesman, rightly responded to Charles Clarke's announcement by saying "The secretary of state is proposing to create a two-tier education system." Labour MP Lynne Jones, one of 180 backbenchers to sign a protest motion, said: "This is a major deterrent to people from poor backgrounds from going into higher education."
The fact that the fees are being paid back after graduation, starting at £15,000 - which is hardly a princely sum, especially in London - doesn't change this fact. Such a scheme also has
strength, can make the government change course. Over 180 MPs have signed parliamentary motions in opposition to top-up fees. Teaching unions, many academics and parents are opposed. NUS must unite this opposition, building the broadest campaign to defeat the government's proposals and calling for an end to fees, top-up fees and for a living grant. It should organise a national demonstration to register student, staff and parents' opposition. All students must attend the national lobby on March 5th as a priority. Celebrities, MPs and trade unionists should of course be invited to ensure that such events achieve significant media coverage. The NUS must work with MPs to table an Early Day Motion in opposition to the proposals arguing they will result in more debt for students - if 100 Labour MPs rebel on this issue the government could be defeated.
Meanwhile, we would urge all LSE students to sign the "LSE STUDENTS' STATEMENT ON THE FUTURE OF HE FUNDING" (at
At LSE, last week's successful UGM motion committed the General Secretary to convene an open meeting of students in order to canvass opinions on the best methods to oppose this policy. Ideas already suggested for the first planning meeting and for campaigning against these proposals include a big rally at LSE with intellectuals, MPs, trade unionists and student representatives as well as LSE SU doing all it can to ensure all students know the harm to this institution and students that could be caused by the government's proposals perhaps through some form of briefing or document for students and staff. We must do all we can to ensure the government looks again at its new proposals.
Jo Kibble proposed the motion passed in the UGM on the government's proposals for HE funding.
Matthew Willgress is one of the authors of the "LSE STUDENTS' STATEMENT ON THE FUTURE OF HE FUNDING" (LSEHEFUNDING@hotmail.com).
b e aVB r


ISRAEL: A DEMOCRACY UNDER FIRE
Jonathan Landau takes a critical
look at the elections in israel and gives you a fresh insight on a democratic country that some today call an 'apartheid state'.
By the time you read this, the Israeli elections will be either underway or, for those who read it after January 28, already over and the final results published. Although making any kind of prediction for the Middle East is always a dangerous thing to do, there is no doubt that the Likud party will have won the elections, and Ariel Sharon will head the new government. He will try to establish a unity government with the defeated Labor party. He might or might not succeed in doing so - he may have to rely on smaller parties, and the ultra-orthodox ones. Whichever way he chooses, Ariel Sharon will most likely remain Prime Minister at least for some time.
Around the world, people will wonder: Why would the Israeli public want that? After all, Sharon's main promise when he was first elected two years ago was to bring about 'peace and security'. Both seem farther away than ever. Over the course of the past 27 months (since the outbreak of the second Intifada), more than 700 Israelis have been killed. Going to a shopping mall or an open market now means putting one's own life at risk. Taking the bus can be deadly. Being the mother of an eighteen-year old means living in fear - being that eighteen-year old means going to war.
And that's not where it ends. The state of the economy can only be described as disastrous. Tourists avoid the holy land, social gaps are widening... the list goes on and on. Observers
voters. It was a part of Sharon's government for 18 months, then resigned from it in October 2002 and experienced an unsavoury leadership struggle. Additionally, several public disputes between members of various factions within the party haven't helped to raise the image of a united party able to lead the country through these difficult times.
This might be one explanation -there is definitely more to the story. Some voters may still believe Ariel Sharon will bring peace and security, others simply do not see any strong leader personality in Israeli politics other than Sharon. In short, the question why the Likud and the Israeli right in general gained a substantial portion of the Israeli votes - assuming that the Likud actually wins - must be examined in more detail, and it will surely be the topic of another Beaver article.
Here, however, it is imperative to note that this question should not be the only one. As mentioned above, too much speculation cannot be good, and looking back at the course of the election campaign, there are some other questions concerning the Israeli elections that should be equally interesting, especially to outsiders, and even more to those for whom blindly criticizing Israel has become a sort of hobby over the last months and years.
Several aspects of the Israeli state, such as the economy, have suffered
from outside will want to know: Why did so many Israelis vote for Likud, for Sharon?
A look at the left-wing Labor party, the main rival of Likud, reveals that it has done everything in its power to make itself unattractive for Israeli
enormously during the Israeli-Palestinian cycle of violence. Nevertheless, one of the main pillars on which the State of Israel rests has remained strong: Israeli democracy. As tensions grew between Israelis and Palestinians in particular and in the entire Middle East in general, the rela-
tions between Israeli Jews and Israeli Arabs naturally became more difficult. This problem is one of the main challenges for the State of Israel, and Israel will solve it the way a democracy does: Israeli Arabs, like all Israelis, are free to speak their mind on any issue and have the right to vote and elected.
It is
interesting that those who call Israel an 'apartheid state' seem to forget that there are currently four Arab parties as well as a joint Arab-Jewish list in the Israeli parliament, the Knesset. Additionally, there are some Arab Members of Knesset (MKs) in other parties, such as Labor and Likud. In total, there are currently thirteen Arab MKs, and this will not change drastically after the January 28 elections. Ironically, Israel is the only country in the Middle East that gives Arab citizens - men and women, notabene - full democratic rights. This is because Israel is the only true democracy in the Middle East.
The strength of Israeli democracy was tested last month when the Central Election Committee (CEC) - a panel of parliamentarians headed by a Supreme Court Justice - decided, against the will of its chairman. Justice Michael Cheshin, to disqualify two Arab MKs from running in the elections because they had shown public support for Palestinian terrorist groups. Living in a democratic system, the Arab MKs -as well as some Jewish candidates who were disqualified for various reasons -made use of their democratic right and appealed to the Israeli Supreme Court for a reversal of the disqualification. The initial decision was overturned on January 9 by the Supreme Court, and both Arab MKs will be participating in the elections.
The implications of this incident are twofold: Firstly, it is evident that the rift between Israeli Jews and Israeli Arabs has increased over the last few years. Secondly, and more importantly, the Supreme Court decision shows that the justice system is inde-
pendent in Israel, and that it has the final say. There was no legal basis for the initial decision of the CEC, and thus, the decision was reversed. Showing public support for Palestinian terrorists and calling for the murder of Israeli Jews is despicable - but in a true democracy with freedom of speech, it is not a reason to be banned from running for elections.
Israeli governments in the past few years have been somewhat shaky -five Prime Ministers over the last ten years is not exactly a sign of stability -but Israel is a democracy: The Israeli public can decide whether or not they want to support the current government or not. They have the choice to vote for a whole range of parties - right-wing, left-wing, ultra-orthodox, anti-religious, communist, Arab, green, and so on.
This is what makes Israel so significantly different from all its neighbours in the Middle East. Many critics of Israel will not be happy to see Ariel Sharon reelected - but if they support democracy, they should take a moment and look at what has been going on over the last few weeks. They should be happy to see an island of democracy in a sea of autocracies. They should be delighted to see Arab women voting and being democratically elected. They should see Israel as an example for its neighbours, and understand that democracy can always lead to change. Those who criticize Israel for its policy in the Occupied Territories should not hesitate to criticize the leaders of the Arab nations - including Yassir Arafat -for the lack of democracy in their regimes.
The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is not as one-sided as many would like us to believe, and Israel is not the rogue 'apartheid' state some people claim it is. Israel faces many problems today, and there are still many outstanding issues to be debated. Whether or not these elections will improve the current situation is yet unknown, but as long as Israel is a democracy there will always be a prospect for change.
Whatever the outcome of the elections, one must keep in mind that the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian conflict will only be resolved once changes happen. Democracy is a guarantor for change. One can only wonder how the Middle East would look like today if Israel was not the only democracy.
Jonathan Landau is an undergraduate at LSE and is a member of the Israeli Society.

features
SILENCE IS BETRAYAL
by Banc Banc aka Nick Frank Tony Pauro
A belated bang welcome to the year 2003 dear reader! It promises to be an interesting and exciting 12 months with the certainty that it will be a time when we will all come to experience great changes in the way our lives are led. The rapid 'progress' science now makes, occasions my regretting sometimes that I was bom too soon. It is possible to imagine the height to which civilisation may be carried to in a thousand years as man demonstrates his power over matter. We may leam to manipulate gravity to our ends, cure all diseases, implement environmental production systems and reinvigorate the decaying culture of our time. But how can such aspirations be met whilst we continue to allow the blonde to lead the blind into this brave new world?
As the freedom loving West assembles its forces for everlasting Orwellian conflict, it would seem that our masters have decided that the answers to our future fall easier from the barrel of a gvm. Moreover, so long as we commit to their policies, our overlords have confirmed that the world will not end in apocalyptic darkness, but in family fun with Rola Cola clouds behind a Big Mac sun. This should placate any fears any of us have that our future will not end in happiness.
If the doors of perception were cleaned, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has allowed himself to be closed up, till he sees things through narrow chambers of his cavern. Our senses are stunted and betrayed over and over again. From spun press releases that journalists simply regurgitate onto both tabloid and broad sheet, to chemically induced food products that numb our wits; your mind, the final refuge, is no longer your own. You are in reality simply an external extension of what commands you (it may be wise to start investing in silicone microchip stocks).
'The war on terrorism' should read 'the war is terrorism'. The targets of its campaign are not just Islamic militants or the Axis of EvU, but all of us, black or white, rich or poor, the only exception being that some of us wiU suffer greater pains than others as the political procession towards the global centralisation of power continues.
The most powerful weapon in this war is not the soon to be used nuclear device, but pseudo-information
which consigns to oblivion historical reality and unacceptable truths. Dissent is permissible within 'consensual' limits (G.W. Bush informing the U.N. that he would not tolerate any talk of conspiracy theories), reinforcing the illusion that information and speech are 'free'.
September 11th 2001 did not change everything, it simply turbo charged an agenda that had been temporarily aborted with the collapse of the League of Nations only for it to find itself reinvigorated after WWII through the UN. The downing of the twin towers provided the perfect pretext for the elites to cement their great revolution, their great revolt. After years of the individual throwing off the chains of feudalism, serfdom, workhouse hardship and mass industrialisation, the establishments of our nations grew ever fearful that their divine right to rule could be ending.
The popular industrial and cultural revolts of the 1970's across the West showed how disgruntled, unemployed folk (not just the easily containable youth rebellions or black human rights activists) could threaten the status quo. Hence the 'union breaking' policies on both sides of the Atlantic by Mr Reagan and Mrs Thatcher. The elites banded together intent on creating a new order out of the ashes of growing popular empowerment that they had to halt, always under the guise of conflict containment and humanitarian service. They successfully destroyed socialism and conservatism in the following years by causing both to come closer together in reality if not rhetoric thus lessening the avenues of choice the voter could
excersise over events. Then, having herded populations into decaying cities and filling them with enough shops to keep every consumer happy and distracted, the elites 'allowed' democracy to decline both with their subversive actions and petty infighting which effectively divorced the politician from the voter. At the same time, the elites set about destroying the countryside, the only place where 24 hour CCTV is not
particularly effective and where people still bear arms and retain some of the old, vigorous,
'dangerous'
virtues. In short,
there could be no where left to hide and defy their rule.
What we are seeing is the re-creation of the Middle Ages; the
'noble' hierarchy is re-asserting its power and ordering the serfs to do their bidding. However, the fundamental difference in our time is that where we were once ruled by the sword, we are now ruled far more effectively through our minds. If you believe you are living the best life granted you, you are. We will look back in envy to their time, when men could escape tyranny by finding new lands or with their comrades rebel with arms of their own, that is if we continue to possess free thought and have access to the past, things that are not guaranteed.
The real war is a war on democracy. It is the project to destroy the Bill of Rights in America. It is the attempt to end trial by jury in Britain. The attempt to bring back tolls on London's roads and induce your co-operation in relinquishing your liberty in return for 'security'. It is the project that reduces democracy to ritualised ballot attendance whilst you are stripped of your freedoms and it is the competition of two indistinguishable parties as a single ideology state is created.
Hitler's burning of the Reichstag, which he blamed on the Communists, allowed him to impose martial law and create the Utopian open prison his demonic power craved. Emperor Nero temporarily saved his throne by burning Rome and blaming the Christians, thus allowing him to increase his control over his subjects as he promised them security and blood in the amphitheatre at the cost of their freedom. President Bush, with his Homeland Security and Patriot Act has manipulated current events towards the same ends. Those with unprecedented resources to understand that this pattern of human manipulation is being tried once again today, including many who teach in our universities, suppress this knowledge publicly; they lack the courage of the great republican Roman statesman Cicero (who those in the Government department would have you read in order to fill in your blank exam papers this summer), perhaps never before has there been such a silence.
What we must grapple with is the realisation that globalisation, (decide for yourself what this term actually means, is it not empire through usury and ideological and economic imperialism?), does not mean the growing impotence of the state and the rise

of capital, but simply the retraction of the state from its social functions, in favour of repressive ones, the destruction of freedom and an alliance with capital. Camp X - Ray is a small graphic example of the mindset we have allowed to creep back into dominance and it is one to which we now subscribe. There, people we know nothing of, are tortured by a 21st century America whilst the press debates whether in extreme times, extreme measures are acceptable. Such a debate was unthinkable ten years ago.
In the last two years, the prison population of the USA has gone from 1.5 million to 6.5 million men. Across the West, we have had wars on literacy with only an increase in illiteracy coming about. 'Our' wars on poverty have yielded only more poverty. We can thus be certain that the war on terrorism will only bring us more terrorism. Remember, it was President Clinton, the 'Third Way - Centre Left' politician, who reduced welfare support across the states, who began the Star Wars 2 defence programme, who bombed Sudanese medical facilities, bombed the Balkans, declined to arrest Osama Bin Laden, rejected a global landmine reduction treaty and did it all with a smile on his face.
This certifies the distressing situation we are in; the ambition for civil office, military command, power and glory is usually nursed by men of the greatest and most outstanding talent; it matters not what party they belong to nor which smile they present, they all possess the ability to emulate the chameleon even if this means living a lie and generating an illusion.
Nonetheless, all this matters little if we hold that a mustard seed of faith can shift a mountain of doubt. Humanity's best defence is itself. We must remember that we are not merely dumb beasts grazing and chewing the cud, barely looking up to see the hand that feeds us nor the beauty of the horizon. Yet it is futile to attempt an attack on the status quo with violence. Humanity must use its passions, its heart and soul. If enough people share their knowledge with others, lights, as it were, another's lamp from his, though he has lit another's, his own still shines and a brighter future will be willed possible for all.
Bang Bang is, surprisingly enough, the author of the Beaver column, 'Bang Bang Bangs On'. He can be found behind the bar at the Tuns most of the time.
beaver

'EB'
TURKEY: LIVING ON THE EDGE
By	;
C. Eda Yildirim OlcayB. Buyukkayali
Over the past decade, those who did try to follow or cover Turkey were always hit by the feeling of riding a roller coaster that seemed to be moving off track. But whenever one thinks it is as bad as it gets, Turkey begins to climb the rails to start a new boom-and-bust cycle. Today, there is a new government grappling with the mighty IMF over economic policy, a deadlock in Cyprus, and an emerging moral hazard concerning a war in Iraq. The question is "Will Turkey once again manage to get a helping hand from the usual suspect, the convergence play to the European Union?"
From a Landscape Victory to the Copeiihagen Summit
Over the past few years, it appears that Hurkey has gone through the "typical" emerging market cycles of confidence relatively quickly;
each cycle measured in months rather than years. The former government's economy czar,
the talented Mr. Dervish,
recorded a breakthrough performance adopting the Turkish Laws to the political aspects of the Copenhagen Criteria,
the to-do-list for the EU accession. These changes included the abolishment of the death penalty and the allowance of broadcasting and education in the mother tongue. Meanwhile, the 3-party coalition, in the middle of all these developments, decided to abolish itself (since the nationalist partner was not satisfied with the EU package) by convening early elections. The short-lived rise in the market sentiment and general level of confidence was soon over in the pre-election environment and was left to jitters from a government formation including the Justice and Development Party (the so-called AK Party), a party with an Islamic heritage.
As a result, the myopic leaders of the 20th century were eliminated from the Turkish political scene as the AK Party won nearly two-thirds of the majority in the Parliament with 35% of the national vote. The equation was simple, being in opposition was always a sufficiency condition to attract the disgruntled Ttokish electorate due to the ongoing unpopular governance, particularly concerning economic policy. Furthermore, AK Party leader Tayyip Erdogan not only won sympathy for his previous conviction and banishment from politics (for inciting religious hatred) but was also popular as a youth-
1 symbol of hope. The financial com-iunity also bought the AK's one-party story because of its pro-IMF, pro-EU and pro-privatization rhetoric. By November elections, the jitters were calmed.
The AK Party, however, had no time to celebrate as the countdown to the historic EU enlargement meeting had already begun by the time the one-party government assumed power. Mr. Tayyip Erdogan and Prime Minister Abdullah Gul achieved a major initial success by allaying fears that they held an ideological Islamist agenda. Expecting AK obstruction to EU accession, many were shocked by the commitment and drive demonstrated by the AK officials to open up the negotiations for EU membership.
Merci beaucoup Monsieur d'Estaing!
On the way to the summit, Valery Giscard d'Estaing, former president of France and current president of the "Convention on the future of Europe", argued that Turkey was not a European country and that Turkish membership would kill the Union. "Cheers Mr. d'Estaing!", must have thought the AK Party as they attacked this statement, exploited the Christian club theme, and argued that Turkey's acceptance would be an example of peaceful co-existence that contradicted Samuel Huntington's infamous theory of "clash of civilizations" once and for all. It appears that Mr. d'Estaing's comments (well criticized within the Union and by the US), contrary to their intention, have highlighted the T\irkish accession issue more than Erdogan or Gul could ever have hoped.
Reading the outcome of the Copenhagen Siunmit
The final Presidency Conclusions of the Copenhagen Summit promised Turkey that the decision to open negotiations would be taken "without delay "in December 2004. The locals took the news negatively due to expectations of an earlier date whereas foreigners empahsised the positive aspects of the decision compared to the German-Franco proposal of July 2005.
The "date for a date" outcome does not have any practical implication from a foreign affairs perspective, as the proposal neither contains a binding or irreversibility condition, (i.e., the EU could still diverge if they feel Hirkey is moving off track from the Copenhagen Criteria). Regardless, pursuing a date was not a politically feasible target any-
way (the AKP deserves limited blEime as they continued the pathway opened by the former government). The conventional EU accession pathway requires the EU to decide on starting membership talks depending upon annual progress reports.
Normally the candidates do not push for a "date for a date"
and Turkey's progress report for 2003 will not be reviewed until 2004. If Turkey complies fully on the Copenhagen Criteria having the Cyprus issue resolved by the year-end, TUrkey will still have to wait until late 2004 for a review which may be seen as a loss.
The summit, notwithstanding any earth-shaking ramifications for Tlirkey, still brought some goodies in terms of accession. It is now clear that Turkey is within the enlargement envelope. Even after the Helsinki Summit, when Turkey was an official candidate for the first time, Turkey had not really pierced the European agenda, but now as the recent episode of discussions started by d'Estaing and the Summit clearly reveals, Europe is indeed quite conscious of Hirkey.
The milestones, for Turkish accession
While the results of the Copenhagen Summit should not be exaggerated (neither on the upside nor the downside), Turkish accession prospects appear positive.
For starters, both the new government and non-govemmental players, i.e. the banned leader Erdogan, are sincere in their drive for EU membership. The AK Party just saw the Simamit round the comer, and have successfully made all the necessary noises so far despite the lack of experience. Even the hawkish camp of the establishment (which sees the AK as a threat) admits that the AK has been using the EU convergence play to prove that they do not have an Islamist agenda. Thus, despite differing views of the intentions of the AKP, the big picture does not change: the new government is likely to pass out the necessary reforms on the himian rights front and make every other necessary change to prepare for accession talks in December 2004.
One of the rocks in Turkey's accession path is the resolution on the deadlock in Cyprus. A golden opportunity for 1\irkey was missed when Hurkey failed to exploit a chance for settlemtn when the Greek Cypriots had the incentive to settle on a resolution. This incentinve today is now relatively diminished given that the island is admitted into the Union independent of the resolution between the Greek and the Turkish Cypriots.
The opportunities for settlement on the island are not over though. February 28, 2003 is the deadline set by the United Nations to settle the everlasting debates among the Cypriot leaders Klerides and Denktash. If there is no agreement on a solution in light of the Annan plan by February 28, then Turkey will have only one last chance: December 2004 -a point of no return for Turkey- EU relations.
To use economics jargon, resolving Cyprus is a necessary but not sufficient condition for Tkrkey to start membership talks (implying irreversibility) with the European Union. Note that there has been a recent change inHirkey's stance (fuelled by the protests in Northern Cyprus against Turkish Cypriot leader Denktash) concerning the island where the old rhetoric of "if you are taking the Greeks, we annex the island" is considered null and void. Nowadays, the new governments (and the establishment) seem to have adopted a more constructive approach.
But, another risk that may disrupt Turkey's accession path could be the relations between the AKP and the military. The Union's Copenhagen Criteria already tries to reduce the impact of the army on politics and if the AKP and the army have tensions along the way, this would weaken the Turkish hands in bargaining in late 2004. So far, the AKP has been sensitive of these issues and has been indicating that they support the secularity of the republic.
All in all, Hirkey-EU relations seem more promising than ever. It appears that the new government is not only sincere on reforms, but is also credible, i.e., has the sufficient amount of chairs in the Parliament to change the law or change the constitution. It seems that the EU drive will give Turkey a helping hand and keep the financial market confidence strong before TUrkey stiombles on economic policy as it has done in the past. Greece, Portugal, Italy and many other accession countries have addressed their policy mistakes along the EU path in the transition phase and hopefully Tlirkey will follow suit. Turkey appears committed to pursuing EU membership and meeting the requiremente along the way. But, failure by the EU to'staA membership talks in 2005 is another story, which could give the kiss of death to Tlirkey-Union relations once and for all.
Olgay B. Buyvkkayali is an analyst for Citibank Istanbul Office in charge of economic and marl^ research. The usual disclaimer applies. The views expressed in this paper are solely the author's and do not reflect those institutions he is affiliated with.

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POLICY OPTIONS FOR NORTH KOREA: BAD AND LESS BAD
in 1993, "We must disabuse ourselves of the confidence we gained during the Cold War that North Korea was manageable. North Korea is no longer manageable."
In the summer of 1994, under cover of darkness, I took off from an air base in Guam and piloted my F-117A Stealth fighter west over the Korean peninsula. To evade North Korean air defences, I was forced to fly at nearly Mach 1, with the mottled mountainous terrain a mere 50 feet below me. My heart was in my throat - I was terrified that at any moment, I would hear a shrill klaxon and see the dreaded crescent-shaped glow of a surface-to-air missile hurtling towards me. Fortunately, my foray into enemy airspace was not to be detected on that still night and I proceeded without incident. Within minutes, my primary target appeared on the heads-up display and I armed one of my GBU-15 laser-guided bombs. As the target light melted from green to red, indicating laser lock-on, I mashed the trigger and my plane shuddered as a single 2,000 lb. bomb fell away into the slipstream. Mission completed, I turned east and shot back out toward the Sea of Japan. Behind me, the North Korean nuclear reactor at Yongbyon disappeared in an angry fireball.
If the flight simulator video games of my youth could provide credible models for the quick and tidy resolution of international situations such as North Korea's resumption of its plu-tonium-reprocessing program, then American diplomacy and East Asian security would not be in their present perilous state. Some argue that the Bush administration should be more consistent in its treatment of rogue states that defy international law. If the US can draw a line in the sand to force Iraqi compliance, they argue, surely the same formula should be applied to North Korea. Unfortunately, unlike the trusty laser-guided bomb in my game, there is no magic bullet for dealing with Kim Jong-Il and his unpredictable and dangerous regime. The nature of the North Korean predicament is such that it is not a 'problem' to which there is a 'solution,' but rather a complex and volatile situation that must be delicately managed until there is some form of regime change in Pyongyang.
Though the furore over plutoni-um reprocessing and the expulsion of IAEA inspection teams is a relatively recent development, the US and North Korea have a history of mutual tension and hostility dating back well before the phrase 'Axis of Evil' was conceived. Pyongyang has long since established itself as a champion of the purple prose, periodically threatening to engulf its enemies in a 'sea of fire,' but analyst Leon Sigal notes that during the Cold War, the US proved itself quite capable of talking the talk as well. He writes,
"No country has been the target of more American nuclear threats than North Korea - at least seven since 1945." Yet, despite the blustering rhetoric of imminent war, North Korea has remained a mystery to successive US administrations. Former Ambassador to South Korea, and 31-year CIA veteran Donald Gregg called North Korea, "the longest running intelligence failure in the history of American intelligence."
As Sigal writes, this lack of knowledge has reduced North Korea to "a blank screen on which policymakers project their own predispositions and prejudices." One such prejudice is the tendency by some to portray the regime as being immune to the innate logic that governs interstate relations.
In the words of an irate Japanese official,
"interna-t i o n a 1 common sense doesn't apply to that country." It has also led to some rather humorous, albeit oversimplified, assessments of the North Korean leadership. As New York Times columnist Bill Keller recently wrote, "North Korea is a hermit state ruled by a potbellied, five-foot-three paranoid Stalinist who likes to watch Daffy Duck cartoons." The reality may be marginally more complex. The DPRK is a dangerous and unpredictable state that has in the past committed terrorist acts against South Korea and Japan - from blowing up South Korean airliners and assassinating cabinet officials to abducting Japanese civilians. It is also, however, a recklessly opportunistic adversary driven by desperation - raw survival instinct on steroids.
That North Korea feels threatened in the modem world is not surprising. Over the course of the past decade, Pyongyang lost its main benefactor with the collapse of the Soviet Union, lost its Great Leader Kim Il-Sung to old age and mortified its closest neighbour, China, into treating it like an embarrassing relative. As then-commander of the US forces in South Korea, General Robert RisCassi, prophetically warned
mmoaesm

Lacking the resources to sustain itself. North Korea turned the art of diplomatic blackmail into a fire-and-brimstone exercise in brinkmanship. Just one year after General RisCassi's statement. North Korea threatened to begin refuelling its Yongbyon reactor without the supervision of IAEA inspectors, who had proved disturbingly adept at uncovering their nuclear secrets. War was averted by the intervention of Jimmy Carter, who made a private visit to Pyongyang. In the course of his meetings with Kim Il-Sung, he secured the foundations for what became the 'Agreed Framework,' a deft piece of diplomacy that seemed to provide an
amenable solution for all involved parties. North Korea promised to freeze work on its nuclear program, reopen suspected sites for inspection, and remain a party to the nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT) in exchange for the construction of two 1000 MW light-water nuclear reactors (incapable of rendering weapons grade material) and shipments of heavy fuel oil.
Why then, if the Agreed Framework had been successful in addressing North Korea's need for food, fuel and aid, is Kam Jong-Il now flaunting his defiance of his non-proliferation obligations?
Simply, the same grim logic that applied in 1994 still applies today: North Korea is broke and desperate, a condition now exacerbated by the unmistakable whiff of hostility from Washington. Having been included in the 'Axis of Evil,' the North .Koreans could not have helped feeling just a bit worried that 'regime change' might soon be coming to their neighbourhood. They had had no success in getting the Bush administration to talk to them, so when US envoy James Kelly presented them with evidence of their enrichment program and expanded the laundry list of US demands, Pyongyang must have felt the noose tightening. In a stunning countermove, however, they turned the tables on the Americans. Noticing that the Bush administration had its hands
full trying to muster international support for possible military action against Iraq, North Korea sensed (accurately, it would seem) that it was an opportune moment to make some belligerent noises and (again) threaten to engulf Seoul in a 'sea of fire.' They could scarcely have timed it better. Not wishing to have attention diverted from the bigger fish in Baghdad, America would do almost anything to make the loud and embarrassing noise go away, even (gasp!) offer 'bold initiatives' for recognition, aid and security.
As Kim Jong-Il will thus gleefully acknowledge, nuclear weapons are a relatively cheap way to get what you want from richer nations. Analyst Joseph Bermudez writes, "the nuclear arsenal is North Korea's only bargaining chip, and one it can be expected to continue to use both skilfully and effectively." North Korea doesn't want a war against the south. They have no revolutionary plans to spread their bizarre quasi-Stalinist ideology. More than anything, Kim and his cronies would like to live to see another day from the mantle of power, and continue getting free aid from the international community. But the danger, and the reason the US must treat them delicately, is that the North Koreans are so accustomed to playing with fire that they could one day go too far. In August 1998, they test-fired a ballistic missile that flew directly over the main Japanese island of Honshu, without bothering to inform anyone of their plan. When presented with US evidence of their reprocessing efforts, they responded by kicking out the IAEA inspectors and promising to accelerate their plutonium enrichment program. Who would bet against them one day conducting an unannounced nuclear test? Nothing in their track record inspires confidence in their sense of restraint.
The US must thus do all it can diplomatically to prevent North Korea from continuing its nuke-juggling brinkmanship because talking is at present the only feasible course of action. There can be no 'tough measures' against a regime that may already have nuclear weapons and the missile systems to deliver them. Nor can pre-emp-tive strikes neutralise the threat posed by 11,000 artillery pieces, potentially armed with chemical and biological agents, trained on a civilian metropolis that is home to 15 million South Koreans and tens of thousands of Americans. Only by offering gradual increments of diplomatic recognition, aid, trade and security, will North Korea temporarily put away its dangerous toys. As ideologically unsettling as it may be, waiting for things to change is the only game in town. As Assistant Secretary of State for East Asian and Pacific Affairs Stanley Roth said six years ago, "buying time is in our national interest." And while we wait, I know a couple of video games we can play to pass the time.
Amit Chanda is an M.Sc. candidate in Theory & History of International Relations. He can be reached at a.s.chanda@lse.ac.uk.
beaver
WHO WANTS TO JOIN THE NUCLEAR GANG?
The issue of nuclear proliferation has been brought to the front pages of newspapers around the world by the current UNMOVIC inspections in Iraq, together with the stand off in North Korea. Pyongyang's declaration that it has restarted its nuclear weapons programme revealed an uncomfortable reality that many had tried to ignore. Over time, with determination and state backing, countries that other may be considered as 'less developed' can develop nuclear weapons. With India and Pakistan announcing their arrivals as nuclear powers in the late 1990s, and with evidence that countries like North Korea and Iran are seeking to emulate their achievements, a destabilisation of international relations seems likely to follow.
Although there were period s within the Cold War when nuclear war seemed a real possibility, the avoidance of such a cataclysmic conflict gave the developed world some confidence that the nuclear genie could be kept in the bottle. The theory of Mutually Assured Destruction (MAD) even gave encouragement to think that nuclear weapons could be a force for peace. It was presumed that states with long histories of conflict could no longer risk going to war for fear of nuclear annihilation. Initial fears that a nuclear war could be triggered by accident, or by a renegade officer somewhere down the chain of command (as memorably portrayed in the Stanley Kubrick film 'Dr. Strangelove') receded from the public imagination. Even the Soviet Union turned out to be a regime stable enough to ensure the sensible management and handling of nuclear weapons.
A lot has changed though since that era of seeming stability. Previously the march of nuclear proliferation was slowed down by nuclear guarantees. Most notably Germany and Japan have not become nuclear powers because of American guarantees to use the US arsenal should either country be the victim of a nuclear attack. But such guarantees are unattainable to the many countries that are alienated from Washington. The uncovering of an Iraqi nuclear programme that was only interrupted by the 1991 Gulf War showed that it was not solely the Great Powers who could realistically hope to acquire a nuclear arsenal.
The movement of fissile material from the former Soviet Union to prospective nuclear states is also a major, and unresolved, issue in the post-Cold War world. Countries Uke Iran and North Korea which find themselves in unstable regional circumstances and which are demonised as members of the Axis of Evil see their security as dependent on the assembling of their own nuclear arsenal.
Now other factors are encouraging such nuclear programmes. The Bush Administration's new National Security Strategy proclaims the right of
the USA to launch a pre-emptive strike against a state that the American government believes was about to launch an attack against the USA. This interventionist attitude was also seen in NATO's air strikes on a Yugoslav state that was involved in an internal issue. Many states - and not just 'rogue states' - feel vulnerable in the face of an interventionist policy based on Western values and political philosophies. This vulnerability is likely only to make the acquisition of a nuclear deterrence more desirable for such states. Supporters of the Bush Doctrine would contend that were non-nuclear states to be threatened with a pre-emptive attack should they even commence a nuclear weapons programme, then they would question the security benefits of making the effort to attain nuclear status. Maybe so, but the practising of the Bush Doctrine requires plenty of military intelligence, and the CIA's record in keeping tabs on nuclear programmes in Iraq and North Korea shows acquiring such evidence is very difficult.
If these states' nuclear programmes were become successful, then the consequences would be far-reach-ing. Were North Korea, for example, to become a fully-fledged nuclear power, then the US nuclear security guarantee to South Korea and Japan - two non-nuclear states within missile range of North Korea - would become of great importance. The continuation of the very large US military presence in both these countries would become of vital significance. Apply this example to the rest of the worl d then, and it would
seem likely that the neighbours of any new nuclear powers will turn to the only outside state that would seem to be capable of offering a nuclear guarantee: the USA.
Should the US meet this extra demand for security guarantees - perhaps in exchange for economic or strategic concessions or reforms -then the US would become	more
deeply involved in the multitude of simmering conflicts and flash-points around the world. The dangers of such a development are clear when one considers the extent to which Al-Qaida's objectives seem to have been influenced by the American military presence in Saudi Arabia.
Such a commitment should not be taken for granted though, for US domestic politics features many supporters of an isolationist foreign policy. If the interventionism of the Bush Doctrine leads to further attacks on the US homeland, who is to say that US foreign policy might not return to a more isolationist standpoint, potentially leaving vulnerable non-nuclear countries across the world facing nuclear, and newly confident, neighbours. Such newly-vulnerable could well be provoked into commencing their own nuclear weapons programmes: a vicious cycle could thus be bom.
A further factor to consider is the domestic instability of some of these new entrants to 'the nuclear club'. The seesawdng between democratic government and military dictatorship in Pakistan,
and the links between the I S I (Pakistani i n t e 11 i -gence) and Al-Qaida,
raises questions as to the possession and possible usage of Pakistani nuclear
weapons in any domestic conflict or even by a potentially extremist government that could emerge in the future. In unstable states the danger remains that rulers could see the aggressive use of nuclear weapons as a method of buttressing their own positions - being perceived as a 'strong man' is key for authoritarian or dictatorial rulers.
There seems the to be a significant amount of evidence suggesting that the effects on nuclear proliferation of Bush's pre-emptive policy may in the long-term prove to be counterproductive to US interests. The anti-American backlash of which Al-Qaida is the most spectacular representative of came about in reaction to the American presence in the Islamic world. What will happen if, in the coming years, a US government adopts formal policy of being the world's policeman: executing its policy of disarming any state it sees unfit for nuclear status? Anti-American feeling has up until now been fuelled by the perception of its unequal treatment of other states. The disarming of countries like Iran would raise questions about a refusal to disarm nuclear Israel. By leading the 'fight' against nuclear proliferation, American beliefs and intentions will be made clearer and a polarisation of the West and many countries in the rest of the world would seem likely.
Many are already predicting that the wars of the 21st century will be drawn up on the battle-lines of the haves and the have nots. Resources such as water or energy are perceived as potential flash points. Nuclear proliferation should certainly be considered alongside these. Those states aspiring to nuclear states see no reason why they should not be able to defend themselves with the weapons with which the US defends itself. Such weapons will be even more in demand should the security of such states be endangered by preemptive strikes aiming at regime change. With North Korea showing that with determination and the right contacts nuclear arsenals can be assembled, one has to question the ability of nuclear states to prevent what they see as 'undesirables' joining their club.
Tom Bum is a regular correspondent for B:Link.


The level of
firearms crime /n the UK has risen by 35% in the last year to its highest ever level. in the second of three
articles, Ben Chapman looks at
how this growing problem should be tackled.
As the very ink was drying on the newly-printed pages of last week's edition of the Beaver, and on the first article in this series on Britain's growing illegal gun culture, officers from the National Crime Squad and Scotland Yard were preparing for one of the biggest series of raids in Metropolitan Police history. If further proof were needed to back up the assertion that the UK is presently suffering from an unprecedented degree of gun-related crime, it could be found on the front page of the following day's Evening Standard, which reported twenty arrests and the seizure of guns and drugs from addresses across north London linked to a notorious Turkish family thought to be a key player in the international heroin smuggling trade. Police also believe the family to be linked to the rapid growth of gun violence in the capital.
Events such as this, along with the release of damning new crime figures and the deaths of two teenage girls in Birmingham within the space of a week, has sparked a much-needed and long overdue debate on how to tackle gun crime. Politicians, community leaders and academics have together proposed a range of measures designed to solve this growing problem, and they will be discussed in this article. Next week I examine the dilemma facing Britain's unarmed police force as a result of the alarming escalation in firearms crime.
Of course, the simplest and, on the face of it, most effective tactic would be to simply get the guns off Britain's streets.
Inevitably however,
this is much easier said than done, and indeed, difficult even to work out how it should be attempted. The much-trumpeted Handgims Ban, passed by a panicked government in 1997 in the wake of the appalling tragedy at Dunblane, has been a colossal failure of a popular policy passed by an administration eager to take a stand against those who would use guns in such an atrocious manner. It is understandable how such a piece of legislation could be passed in the circumstances, but that
OUTGUNNING GUN CRIME

hasn't made it any more effective. It has given Britain some of the tightest gun laws in the world; it has not prevented the con-t i n u e d availability of deadly firearms on our streets.
The fact that firearms crime has doubled since the passage of the Firearms Act in 1997 is evidence of the truth that banning more and more guns is no solution. Fiercely criticised for punishing lawful gun owners, outlawing types of firearm wholesale does not prevent would-be criminals from obtaining illegal weapons, of which there are said to be several million in the UK today. Similarly criticised has been the Home Office's recent plans to ban replica firearms, although in this case there is admittedly a genuine claim. It is thought replicas account for up to a third of all weapons used to threaten in robberies and burglaries, while they can also be converted to fire live ammunition then sold as bone-fide guns on the black market. At present, these replicas can be bought legally and can be carried freely due to a loophole in the law. Under the government proposals, police officers will now be allowed to use their discretion to confiscate replicas being carried in public and arrest their owners, thus plugging a much exploited laxity in our otherwise strict firearm controls.
Yet this still fails to get to the main problem: thousands of weapons being constantly imported illegally from abroad. The Balkans in particular is a problematic region, thanks to leftover weapons from the conflicts of the 1990s. Acquired cheaply in countries such as Croatia and Albania, arms can be sold on for high profit to British gangs and smuggled in by air and sea. This key supply-line must be halted if we are to get anywhere in the ongoing fight with guns. Tight gun laws are fine if there are no guns, but whenever they can still be acquired with such ease by illegal methods, all they serve to do is prevent ordinary citizens from protecting themselves, leading in turn to greater fear and easy opportunities for criminals to extort and threaten through their monopoly on firearms. More stringent checks on vehicles and luggage reaching our shores must be employed if this inequality is to be redressed.
The supply of guns is of course just one aspect of the debate. Perhaps
the most prominent discussion in recent weeks has centred on the punishment and deterrent aspect. In the wake of the Birmingham shootings at New Year, the Home Secretary announced, rather recklessly, that possession of an illegal firearm would merit an automatic five-year prison sentence. Condemned as yet another knee-jerk reaction to a high-profile crime, David Blunkett's proposal was quickly sent for a rethink; accordingly he backed down. The ethics of politically motivated minimum prison terms is an issue for a different debate, however the more general principal of tough sentences is crucial to this one. The great problem with this type of action lies with the nature of the criminals targeted by the measure itself - a high proportion of the perpetrators of firearms crime are members of highly organised inner-city drug gangs who see the threat of a prison sentence as merely (to quote Porridge) an occupational hazard. To those who face revenge killings and turf war shootings, the risk of a prison sentence pales into insignificance. However much the Daily Mail demands higher sentencing, this will not solve the problem on its own.
There is a second problem with sentencing as a weapon; the criminals have to be caught first. Currently insufficient police resources mean the chance of capture is small, particularly in communities where the police do not enjoy good relations with the public. There are two approaches to solving this problem.
The Conservatives have_________
called for New York-style zero tolerance policing in problem areas - getting more police on patrol to provide a visible deterrent,
in order to "give the streets back to the people". Similar schemes in the United States have yielded promising results, yet the cost of such policies, in terms of the need for increased officers and resources, probably makes their introduction here unlikely. The second approach is an intelligence-led, 'softly softly' policy, designed to build links with communities, reward informants who might otherwise be too scared to come forward, and tackle gun crime from the bottom up. The highly promising work done by the Metropolitan Police's Operation Trident, which works to solve black-on-black shootings in London, seems to support the theory of intelligence-led policing, having arrested (as of January 2002) over 200 suspects, and seized over 150 guns and 500 kilos of Class A drugs. Yet the scheme is so far still relatively small scale, and is undoubtedly a limited cure rather than the required prevention.
Everything discussed so far has been aimed at the short term, yet there is a much more important long-term



WAII.
KU.LERS
solution to gun crime that must be embraced. What is clear is that the majority of firearms-related offences are committed by young males in poor inner-city areas, and this cannot continue to be overlooked. For too long it seems we have consistently sought quick-fix solutions to deal with this extremely potent problem, and the continued rise in gun crime shows how ineffective they have been. But getting disenchanted youths out of the cycle of poverty, gangs, crime and few opportunities, as unglamorous a solution as it may seen, may well be the key to shooting down gun crime. Providing role models to predominantly black youths other than gang members who carry firearms, and providing a concept of respect that goes further than the image of the gun, can only help drive young people in our poorest communities away from a life of violence. Despite criticism, the idea of shaping a culture through music that does not glorify crime may not hurt either. Several schemes in London designed to create more opportunities for 13-17 year olds have so far kept the youngsters involved out of trouble, while the Youth Advocate Programme, which hires local people to monitor young offenders on probation and help them into a life away from crime has had great success. Evidently we need to do more of this.
Yet where those on the left fall down is that this cannot be the only solution to the problem. Tolerance for hard drug gangs will not work in the same way it may for disadvantaged individuals. There needs to be a heavy crackdown on imported weapons, with smugglers facing hefty jail terms. We need more targeting through intelligence-led policing of criminal gangs, such as the one raided last week, with the leaders either locked up or deported. There must be a three-pronged response to gun crime, which deals simultaneously with getting illegal guns off the streets, driving drug gangs elsewhere through fearsome deterrents for their leaders, and with stopping youngsters being drawn into a cycle of crime and violence.
Banning weapons has failed. Long prison sentences for gun carriers will provide no deterrent. Knee-jerk responses are useless satisfiers of an angry public. Ignoring the causes of gun crime and failing to deal with them can go on no longer. It's time to forget looking to the next General Election and start meeting the problem face to face with a formidable arsenal of measures to outgun gun crime, once and for all.
Ben Chapman is B:Link Assistant Editor and is an undergradvMte studying for a BSc in Government and History.

beaver
nolan's arty fringe
I
Hello there again and welcome to this week's arts section. Sorry about the problems last week. I blame the j printers, but then again you are asking for trouble when you put black writing over a black background. Again | apologies. We at the beciver are also going to be dragged kicking and screaming to relocate to at the old copy -shop. Well thats if the LSE porters can drag themselves away from being drunk and pissed up on booze, in tho tuns. So if next week's lieavr doesn't come out then you can blame one of the old guys with beer schno-¦ lo. B\ the wav if vou haven't seen Buried on Channel 4 then give vourself a slap on the wiist. And if you haven't seen vet, and have the temenly to bemoan the state ol Britisli Television, then glass yourself in the lace to save me the trouble and the possible criminal conviction. 24 lioui party people is out on DVD this ''t'; \v(\"'k as well, possiblv the finest film to come fiom these shores since Traii^spolting.
this week in the section we have Mike Burn talking his usual brand of nonsense in Music. Eleanor's Golden Globi^s in Film, Tom's Breakbeats in Clubbing and Steve Irwin. Enjoy.
I.\s. Sori\ to anyone who saw me in Crush on Friday. Mv Arse shouldn't have made an appearence.

Get in touch with b:art at beaverart@hotmail.coni.
We're getting close to war now, so this week its a topical top ten war films of all time. Make it your duty to
watch of all these films, because if your called up for action and end up fighting you will regret not knowing
what to when your asked to 'terminate an enemy position with extreme prejudice'
1
2
3
DAS BOOT
1981
DIR: WOLFGANG PETERSON
The definite Submarine movie, that shows the full horror and claustrophia of Submarine warfare, but also the brotherhood that such combat facilitated. Features Jurgen Prochnow before he became rubbish.
PLATOON
1986 DIR: OLIVER STONE
Stone's semi-autobiographical character of a young volunteer in the Vietnam War was his finest hour, fully illustrating the horror and at times boredom of warfare. Stars Charlie Sheen in an early career high.
IVI.A.S.H
1972
4
DIR: ROBERT ALTMAN
Okay its a comedy, but then all war does have an intrinsic ludicrous nature to it. And never has this been better captured than in Altman's film. His craetive high, it tells the story of two US army surgeons (Donald Sutherland and Elliot Gould), who use laughter as a ay of shielding themselves from the increasing horror they see around them, during the Korean War. Its anti-war message and its bitter attack on the so-called superiority of American Values over any other, could quite possibly be as relevant today, as it was when the film was released against the background of the Vietnam War. Possibly.
5
APOCALYPSE NOW
1979
DIR: FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA
Coppola's iconic Vietnam acid trip is as exhilirating as iit is infuriating. Martin Sheen goes up river to kill Marlon bran-do's Colonel Kurtz, and both are acted off screen by Robert Duvall.
PATHS OF GLORY
1957
DIR: STANLEY KUBRICK
One of Kubrick's earliest films, and one of his best, this searing story of French soldiers wrongly tried for cowardice during the first world war, is one of the bitterest anti-war films ever made.
6
7
8
9

10
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SAVING PRIVATE RYAN
1998
DIR: STEVEN SPIELBERG
Most of this film may be pure hollywood, but the opening 30 minutes is the most visceral batlle scene ever created.
THE THIN RED LINE
1998
DIR: TERRENCE MALLICK
Mallick's film may be too meandering and ponderous for some, but it does make for an extremely poetic version of war.
THE GREAT ESCAPE
1963
DIR: JOHN STURGES
Pure Boy's own stuff maybe but it is ruthlessly entertaining and features a never to be bettered cast, featuring the king, Steve Mcqueen.
CROSS OF IRON
1977
DIR: SAM PECKINPAH
The late, great James Coburn in this depressing but extremely powerful story of life on the eastern front in WWII.
PATTON
1970
DIR: FRANKLIN SCHAFFNER
George C. Scott stars in this superlative biopic of Patton. Scoot famously refused to pick up the oscar that he recieved for it.
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Beaver Sounds
This week Mike Burn tells it how it is.
Music is emotive; it can affect you in the most compelling of ways. It can stir tears, summon memories, invigorate and subdue. It is the omnipotent art. The visual, as with other forms, seems unable to stimulate similar responses. The strains of Jeff Buckley's Last Goodbye never fail to reduce me to floods of tears. Equally, although ctich6d, Sme?te Like Teen Spirit does not raise anything but the most unadulterated feeling of excitement inside of me. Music cannot be ignored and its importance-doubted. Music appreciation is a learnt behaviour which is largely retrospective in its exploration. We can probably all remem-; ber lifting our parents' dusty twelve-inch records onto the turntable one by one waiting for something to take hold. Life is spent stumbling upon the records which mean something to you; those to which you can attach meaning, sound-tracking your life. Music of the past needs to be discovered but Just as equally, new music needs to be uncovered and propagated.
The relationship between old and new is an intriguing one worthy of exploration. There is a visible linear progression in all popular music, with the occasional revolutionary paradigm shift. Through the folk music of the early part of the last century, through 1950's Rock 'n' Roll, the 60's, Punk rock, Hip-hop and the multitude of genres musical history has spawned. The essential question is, however: is contemporary music post-modern? Music is eclectic by its very nature and it frequently draws upon its sonic ancestry. This is nothing new, music has progressed in a linear fashion after all; but what is exceptional about contemporary music is a sense of creative hopelessness. It is filled with an uninventive pathos; no one or nothing seems to actually produce, actually procreate music. The nature of music should mean it isn't limitless but where is the next revolutionary paradigm shift is music coming from? It certainly isn't coming from the streets of London with UK Garage, and it indubitably isn't coming out of arguably the most cosmopolitan and post-modern city in the world, New York. So Solid Grew and the Strokes for; example have simply rehashed the past for their own ends in a true post-modern fashion (if there is such a thing).
This total eclecticism, this total post-modernity is a dangerous thing. Currently there is no possible movement to shift music the way Rock 'n' Roll or Punk did. Everyone seems either jaded by the mass production, the mass products of music or too consumed in it to actually care. Certainly there is a lot of choice for the consumer; more than enough to find something to buy into, to sell your soul to but there should be more to it than this. Music is in danger of being doomed to reinvention. It may become an art of ersatz; using already available materials, sampling the samples, modernising the old. Maybe post-modernity is too easily confused with modernity and modernisation and the processes which have always gone into music? There is no conclusive evidence. A pessimistic outlook but the future of music is still nevertheless a future which excites me whether it's revolutionary or not.
b:music recommends
«» a	SSm ^
sole
founder of anticon and underground-hiphop legend sole releases a new record this month and plays the rhythm factory, london, febru-ary 16th.

mountain goats
the beaver championed mountain goats play the mean fiddler alongside james yorkston and bis. Wednesday 29th. 8 pounds in advance.
transformers
a lot like the beaver there's more than meets the eye. the transformers movie soundtrack has been the office ambience for about a week.
puLSE
puLSE radio hold their party in the underground bar on thursday 30th. With a cheap bar and a host of top LSE DJs including Beaver Music's very own Neil Garrett and Mike Burn. Entry £1
singles
MOUNTAINEERS SELF-TITLED EP
Half-baked, half-arsed load of nonsense: mindless, meandering, and probably conceived in the middle of a drug-addled trance. The futility of life itself becomes all too apparent when you are forced to review to a song (seemingly) about the joys of chicken.
VICPECKETT
THE BANDITS ONCE UPON A TIME/ON MY WAY
A bit madcap and a bit scouse, just like The Coral, who also happen to be their best mates. As with The Coral, wilful ecclecticism and boundary-hopping are the order of the day, mixing folk, sea shanty, rock, and psychedelia, all with tongue set firmly in cheek and pop sensibilities tuned to 'skewed'.
Single of the Week
VICPECKETT
THE DATSUNS HARMONIC GENERATOR
Malcolm McLaren once said the New York Dolls were so awful they sounded good. Sadly, this cannot be said about these long-haired pillocks. Although the single sounds better than their usual offerings, it is far from harmonic. Someone half-heartedly put together a tight rhythm section, disembodied vocals, lyrics too banal to be mentioned and backing singers who sound like Atomic Kitten. Ah, but we're supposed to like this cos NME & Co say so.
KELLY ROWLAND STOLE
Record company execs know that a song with a 'social message' will guarantee them a fast buck, even if the sheer cheek of a multi-millionaire, platinum-selling Destiny's Child member daring to sing about tragically-foreshortened teenage lives escapes no-one. Well done, Kelly, for showing that you are aware of the existence of social misfits.
VICPECKETT
NAZIARAHIM
THIRD EDGE YOU KNOW YOU WANNA
'The play off for the 2003 Tetris Pop Award is between Busted ( my personal faves) and this bunch of mingers. Third Edge, are basically just a poor mans Blue, and as any pop impressario knows you need a Duncan, not just three Lees. With their '1 holler, you follow' attitude and cheeky reappropriation of Destinys Childs back catalogue, moderate success surely beckons.'
CUIREWILLIAMS
ANTIHERO STRAVINSKY GAVE ME NIGHTMARES
I I Although Stravinsky also taught them 'how to dance', it's pretty obvious that he gave Antihero nightmares on the basis of this track. Bursting full of staright up rock and roll guitars, energy and hyperactive drums, this track may not be the best thing of 2003 so far, but it's definitely enigmatic and interesting. Antihero may not be the future of music, but they'll definitely make even the most passive tap their foot.
CHNEIDER TM
REALITY CHECK
Schneider TM's album Zoomer was one of the highlights of last year and this was the opening track from it.
Heavily vocoded vocals : (including swearwords for humour value) compliment playful beats and blips.
Similar in many ways to artists like Mouse on Mars. Reality Check has that whimsical unpredictibility. It is a perfectly structured pop song but with an unpredictable format.
This is downbeat robot lounge music. Music for robots by robots. Lovely,
MIKEBURN
JAZMINBURGESS
REUBEN LET'S STOP HANGING OUT
Reuben have been hailed by Kerrang las one of the best and exciting up and coming British rock bands around. However, on the basis of let's stop hanging around they actually come across as slightly bland and tacking in fervor. It's not that Reuben aren't a good band, as first single 'Scared of the Police' showed, it's just that on Let's Stop Hanging Out they come across as a third rate Hundred Reasons. And as everyone knows when you have the real thing, there's no room for imitations.
LONGVIEW EVERYWHERE YOU TURN
A solid piece of alternative rock with a very nice Pixies bass line. However, the production doesn't help matters and sadly probably the most thrilling moment is the very unexpected ending.
PAULMATTHEWS
JAZMINBURGESS
KELLY OSBOURNE SHUT UP
Sounding like an unsightly hybrid Blink 182 and a banshee. Shut Up verges dangerously close to musical hell. To its credit however, a song has never had a more appropriate title. Because, if Kelly Osbourne actually practiced what she preached, music would probably be a much safer and pleasant place.
JAZMINBURGESS
SEAN PAUL GIMME THE LIGHT
Dance hail and HipHop colliding for this urban smash. Sean Paul is currently the hottest property and the Busta Rhymes guest vocal assures mainstream success. A song which will shake bootys up and down the land.
MIKEBURN
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TEUEVISE
Released on Arena Rock, home of the wondrous Superdrag, Calia's third album Televise is one of those underdogs that is destined for critical acclaim, but yet one that only a few of the record buying public will actually ever buy. Having already released two much acclaimed albums and been tipped as one of the bands to wratch In 2003, it's no understatement to say that Televise is an album highly anticipated amongst the critics.
Opening with the distinctly Radiohead-esque 'Strangler', Tfetevise is actually a mellow mix of post4ock instrumentals, drawn out vocals and electronic beats. Overall Calla come across as a melancholic art rock band-tiiink Les Savy Fav on sedatives. Although some of the tracks tend to drag on and the vocals can veige on tedious, Televise does contain some stand out and brilliant tracks such as 'Pete the KHIer'. It may.not t)e the most complete, original or interesting album released this year so far, but that does not make Televise a t>ad album..
It is however unlikely that Calla will turn out to be one of the best bands of 2003, because quite for that to happen they will •f»^ably need to produce Son^ ^t are more exciting and slightly, more challenging. Televise is however an unoffensive, pleasant album. It won't get ovenwhelmtng critical acclaim but it should earn them some new fans and perhaps a bit of respect in music circles. It may be evidence that every band that comes out of New York does not have to sound like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs or The Strokes, but at the end of the day if you want to find a better example of that 'other' New York sound, you'd be t)etter rewarded by picking up an: Enon record,{6)
JAZMINBUR6ESS
MARC CARROLL TEN OF SWORDS
iMusically this isn't crossing any :bold new territory. Jangley indie ipop with nothing too offensive and isome folky/celtic and blatant Beatles influences chucked in for •good measure. Basically it sounds ;quite a lot like Teenage Fanclub. Records very similar to this have I been made for decades and prob-iably will continue being made far iinto the future.
^Occasionally lyrical it does stray a |bit, talk of bringing down Satan's ^kingdom, really doesn't seem to jbe appropriate, though of course it Swould be if Marc Carroll was in 'fact a heart broken heroin addict |{i.e. Jason Pierce from Ispirtulized). All in all it's not bad, land if you've got a screaming jpounding head after getting so idrunk the previous night you've iattempted to convince your mates Hhat Fischerspooner's 'Emerge' ;really is the 'Blue Monday' of the Imillenium (alas, dear readers, the lease for this particular Beaver jreviewer) it'll make a good soundtrack to painfully sip a cup of cof-:fee too. (7)
m
EQHQBQY GIRAmE
Nottingham's Echoboy distinctive drum machine indie kid pop is almost a genre in itself. No one "else seems to be participating in it in quite such a unique way as Echot)oy though.
Not interesting enough to sustain a great deal of interest for Jong. His whining tones are just a little too rifibnotonous to actually bother listening to for longer than the length of the average song.
Musically fickle and annoyingly so. Cchoboy, because tries so very^ hard to mix the tradional indie song with computer processed ele-^Vnehts; This album has it's moments; lately lonely is an elec-^0 stomper with the essentially octave key one twos and bells! Some where in between the Human League and Mike Oldfield.
the seven minute Wasted Spaces is tedious at best. A highly cluttered song that would have benefited from a little more consideration of what was left in the mix.
THE MAJESTICONS BEAUTY PARTY
With the state of HipHop an ongoing concern for those 'true' to the genre and those with more of a concern for creativity and fear of the stagnate and the formulaic, Mike Ladd's Majesticons outfit draw attention to the problems inherent in the bling bling.
The Majesticons are a parody of HipHop: taking on the production values but flipping the lyrical content. The tunes are here and Beauty Party is a consummate HipHop album with production values of par with the likes of the Neptunes. The crucial difference is, however, the lyrics which are intelligent and savage.
The Majesticons are the manifestation of all which is wrong with HipHop; they are shallow, superficial and vain. In parody only of course. In reality the performers here are the opposite. In terms of reality it is the Anticon collective who are the true antithesis of the Majesticons.
^Generally this album does not posess the qualities throughout to PAULMATTHEWS make it anything other than mediocre and unengaging. (6)
The Anticon collective and associates make music for the 'advancement of HipHop' creatively playing with traditional concepts and structures both musically and lyrically; a form of satire in itself. Also Gold Chains with his hip HipHop is MIKEBURN doing very similar things to Mike Ladd's project; the main difference being that the Majesticons perform so convincingly that it would be quite possible to overlook the parody.
An album' from which enjoyment can be derived from both the music and the lyrics whether you or conscious of its parodying or not. The attack is vicious however, and in the sleeve notes Mike Ladd asks you not to let your children turn into Majesticons, a very wise piece of advice. (8)
MIKEBURN
ASIAN OUB FOUNDATIQW ENEMY OF THE ENEMY ^ '
After a more than significant line up change Asian Dub Foundation return with a new album of subtle musical changes but an uncompro-mised political outlook. Dubmeister Adrian Sherwood's production has give ADF a more lush dub sound that wasn!t present on their previous album Community Music and this ts the key change in sound for the band alttiough the new MCs styles are very different from that of the now departed Deedar.
Enemy of the Enemy sees the band reclaim some of the vitriol which was lacking on Community ;MUsic ^ut which was present on -RSfrs Revenge. Maybe it is the current political climate v/hich has brou^t this about or maybe the new line up. Which ever it is ADF are reinvigi orated and ready to make a full assault ufK>n polttical apati^ and ignorance.
The topics dealt with here range from immigration (recent single,:; Fortress Europe) through the plighf of the wrongly imprisoned Zoora Shah oh 1000 Mirrors featuring] Sinead O'Connor. As ever ADF are a band of causes; they do not have songs about metaphysical concerns.
Despite certain aspects of the production being questionable this does not alone reduce the value d| Asian Dub Foundation. You cannot be a fan of ADF without engaging in the political element of the band. -
ADF have been one of the most important British bands over the past ten years. They are overtlg political and not afraid to take on issues and concerns; an admirable; trait when so many bands seeiti to! shirk them so easily or use them as! marketing devices.	i
ADF are such a significant baridj and should not be ignored. Erv^^ jOf the Enemy is vitriolic and, ins jtional d^pite its subtle' musical)
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KOUFAX SOCIAL LIFE
Alternative Press recently described Koufax as 'Postmodernist Pop'. As to exactly what that means is anybody's guess, but it undoubtedly makes a change from 'garage rock', 'electroclash' 'emo' 'post-hardcore' or what have you. And to be perfectly honest, no band deserves its own genre more than Koufax. Because, with their home being the uber emo/pop punk label Vagrant, they've forever been stuck with labels that not only fail to describe their sound, but also do a disservice to the band. However, second album Social Life looks set to show the world just how original and genre-defying Koufax really are. Because having elaborated on the intensely unique sound they developed on debut album 'It Had To Do With Love',
Koufax have produced an album that is not only refreshingly different but pop enough to make anyone dance.
Bursting full of keyboard heavy melodies and bittersweet irony. Social Life is one of those rare albums that can be taken both seriously as an accomplished work or amusingly as the soundtrack to a dance party. Perhaps what is the greatest asset of the album is highlighted on the beyond brilliant and feverous opening track 'Let Us Know'-Koufax are a band that have the knack for producing pop like it should be but in songs that have a serious and intelligent underpinning. And if that's not enough to endear the album to everyone , upbeat no b-s rock and roll tracks such as the magnificent 'Social Life' and the fantastic 'Adultery' combine Beach Boys-esque harmonies with the hyperactivity of old
skool power guitars, and prove that quite frankly, keyboards have a well deserved place in rock.
Social Life pretty much verges on flawless. Koufax have succeeded in producing an album that is admirably and awe-inspiringly individual, showing that they are undeniably a cut above and light years ahead of any 'music trend' you may wish to compare them too. Okay, it may not be 'postmodernist pop', but it is enigmatic and entertaining music. Koufax's press release states that the band are 'their own barometer of cool'-to be perfectly honest, if its this that has led to the emergence of Social Life, then Koufax's concept of cool is quite possibly one that we should all be following.
(8)
JAZMINBURGESS




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So the 60th Golden Globes came to pass last week, and with it now being looked upon as a marker for Oscar success (only a few weeks tilt the nominations!) the Globes are serious stuff in Tinseltown. So what films got what? In brief...
Picture - Drama:
The Hours. Also nominated: About Schmidt, Gangs of New York, The Two Towers and The Pianist.
Picture - Musical or Cotnedv:
Chicago. Also nominated: About a Boy, Adaptation, My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Nicholas Nickleby.
Director:
Martin Scorsese {Gangs of New York). Also nominated: Stephen Daldry (The Hours), Peter Jackson {The Two Towers), Spike Jonze (Adaptation), Rob Marshall (Chicago) and Alexander Payne (About Schmidt)
Actor in a Leading Role - Drama:
Jack Nicholson (Maout SchmkH). Also Adrien Brody (The Pianist), Michael Caine (The Quite American), Daniel Day-Lewis (Gangs of New York) and Leonardo DiCaprio (Catch Me If You Can).
Actress in a Leading Role - Drama:
Nicole Kidman (The Hours). Also nominated: Salma Hayek (Frida), Diane Lane (Unfaithful), Jullanne Moore (Far From Heaven) and Meryl Streep (The Hours).
Actor in a leading Role - Musical or Comedv: Richard Gere (Chicago). Also nominated: Nicholas Cage (Adaptation), Kieran Culkin (Igby Goes Down), Hugh Grant (About a Boy) and Adam Sandler (Punch Drunk Love).
\
Actress In a Leading Role - Musical Comedv:
Renie Zellweger (Chicago). Also nominated: Maggie Gyllenhaal (Secretary), Goldie Hawn (The Banger Sisters), Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) and Catherine Zeta-Jones (Chicago).
So what can we make of it? It seems that Ch/cago swept the boards, snatching just about every award that it wants. Whether it deserves all these awards is an entirely different matter, in my opinion it's not that great, but that was discussed in week I's edition of The Beaver... The Hours must be making Stephen Daldry proud, although he lost out to Martin Scorsese for the director award. Well, at least Scorsese gets some recognition for Gangs, although it's not the epic it's made out to be. About Schmidt is piercing the surface but only just with the award for Jack Nicholson. He is a legendary actor, and he's still got the ability to outshine his competition, even Daniel Day-Lewis who was, lets face it, the only good thing about Gangs.
On the other hand, there are always losers. If I was in charge of the Globes, what would happen?... I would have made sure that some of the pictures that were nominated got what they deserved. My Big Fat Greek Wedding could have won for the Musical/Comedy category, but About a Boy really should have beaten both that and Chicago - Brit comedy still doesn't get the acknowledgement it deserves in the US, and Chicago was really relying on the music that comes from the stage show anyway. The Director award, well, for me that would go to Peter Jackson. He made The Two Towers with as much attention to detail as Scorsese gave Gangs, but perhaps more so because it took him approximately 25 years less and, at the end of the day, it's a superior film.
11th February is the date of the Oscar nominations, expect the coverage in B:Film the following week!
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The Transporter
Directors: Louis Leterrier & Corey Yuen Starring: Jason Statham, Matt Scliuize Running Time: 94 mins Certificate: 15
CLAIRESPIRIT: feels like moving stuff. Violently. Release Date: OUT NOW
It's clear from watching this film as to what director Cory Yeun received from Santa ttiiSi ' Christmas;; the James Bond DVD boxset and the book Jamie's Kitchen. He's lovingly studied 19 Bond films, pulled out all the action sequences, the Implausible I situations and the exotic locations, stuffed them in a stock pot and allowed to simmer overnight. This cunning plan for film success unfortunately failed when he allowed some cack-handed, work-shy trainee from Hammersmith Culinary College to come and burn the bottom of the pan, leaving nothing but stock so crazily strong it sticks to the spoon.
Yes, this just like the 'Top 10 Bond Moments' as shown on ITVl this Christmas, but without the charm, the wit or the ad-breaks. Crazy action ^quences lead Into even more Implausible situations, with hardly an opportunity to come up for air. To be fair, there are at least 30 seconds in the film of peace, tranquility and scene setting; however, this is just to allow the camera enough time to pull back so we can see the missile that is flying towards our hero's home.
The director's past experience consists ^ some movies In Hong Kong snijl the inf|mous Lethal Weapon S and ;#hg with the casting. (Mason !^thanf;as lead (he of Lc^Stock actd Sn^h) In a film proved by.^i^e t^an who made L^j^emm^Mlkita^-cinema goers sh^w be In doubt Is to the aspiratiog of the film, ff you're able to w	two
hours, tiS you'll hav^.a good time at Hs undemaniHiig film. Jason sAiam may hswe more lives thaiAy cat Peter ^nd he's 19 - thatwPeterv not Ja^n), and some m^drgue that tlte film is going a |Mar when Jason covers himself	sli
the lenH of a : garage. tSescape the^ : bacikuvsyd by the ImplausiK named Wall Str^t), but they will 1^ missing the pcdnt. This film Is >aimed at testoster<me-filled teenagers who want to see guns, fighting and a cute girl.
The Transporter will also be of great benefit to the grease-pored monkey boys selling Sky in Dixons; many people get confused between the channels Sky
Premier and Sky Movlemax. This film is the definitive Sky Moviemax film - loud, action-packed and completely stupid. If that's how you like your films, you're in for a great evening. If you're dating someone who likes films like that, make sure you're busy the night they go to the pictures.
m
The Banger Sisters
JIMMYWONG: checks out sororal relations
Director: Bob Dolman
Starring: Susan Sarandon, Goldie Hawn, Geoffrey Rush,
Erika Christensen
Running Time: 97 mins
Certificate: 15
Release Date: 31 January
With the line-up of Susan Sarandon, Goldie Hawn, Geoffery Rush (all Oscar Acadenny Award Winners) and the up-and-coming Erika Christensen (Traffic), writer/director Bob Dolman could not have asked for a more accomplished cast to mark his directorial debut.
This film follows the reunion of two ex-rock groupies Suzette (Hawn) and Vinnie (Sarandon). Suzette, a brassy bar waitress with an enlarged bust line, has just been sacked from her job and has no option but to pay a visit to her once fellow groupie friend, Vinnie. On her trip, Suzette meets Harry (Rush) a hypochondriac writer whose bowel movements are closely aligned
with his room arrangement. A convenient arrangement ensues, with him hitching a ride with her and she gets the money to pay for her fuel. Together, they head off to Phoenix.
The meeting of the two gals is a pairing of oppo-sites and so begins with tension interspersed
"My only claim to fame is I let a zillion zonked-out musicians get into my pants who didn't give a damn about me" - Suzette
with denial. Vinnie, now known primly as Lavinia, has not looked back to her wild days of rock-and-roll and is now a beige-wearing, charity-helping socialite with a successful lawyer and senator-to-be husband. Together with their neurotic children, Hannah (Christensen) and Ginger (Eva
Amurri, Sarandon's real-life daughter), her husband knows nothing of her past.
Without giving too much away, this film is all about learning to live in the present. All the reminiscing of the past and references to Jim Morrison - whose song Stoned Immaculate inspired Dolman for the two lead roles - suggests that this film is for the older viewer but I found this not to be necessarily true. The plot is predictable, occasionally unconvincing and there are some cringing moments but cast away one's judgement and you'll find an entertaining, all-round feel-good movie. The film raises more than a few laughs, with Hawn and Sarandon teaming up for the first time and holding their respective own in a comedy role while Rush can be commended for his performance. This film is worth a look for the cast alone, and you may find yourself enjoying this, as did most of the audience.



Sarandon with Erika Christensen, who you may recognise from Traffic
LOBBY * BAOOACe CLA/M
Catch Me if You Can
ELEANORKEECH: Leo's finally catching on
Director: Stephen Steven
Starring: Leo Di Caprio, Tom Hanks, Christopher
Walken, Amy Adams, Martin Sheen
Running Time: 141 mins
Certificate: 12A
Release Date: 31st January
Spielberg, DiCaprio: two leading liglits in the world of film who have had hits in the last year {Minority Report and Gangs of New York - thought the second is more of a "debatable" hit in my opinion) now collaborate, along with the help of Tom Hanks, in the film version of the true story of Frank Abagnale Junior, one of the most amazing fraudsters who pulled off a series of extraordinary deceptions, all by his 21st birthday.
Five years are condensed down into 2 hours and 20 minutes: he starts off as a normal pupil at school and one day pretends to be the teacher; next he's tempted to become an airline pilot since they exude authority and charisma (allowing him to get just what he wants - money, and lots of it), then it really escalates from there (without giving too much away), with various diversions into the medical and law professions. Of course all this malarkey infuriates the FBI. Agent Carl Hanratty (Hanks) is appointed to investigate and apprehend Abagnale but his bumbling manner and the inefficiency of the Bureau let him slip through the net. However he is finally caught in France, following the accumulation of trust between Hanratty and Abagnale.
It really was amazing to comprehend the workings of Abagnale's mind. He is so precise with his forged cheques: he grows to understand trust and how to manipulate it: and the fragile position of his
parents' relationship spurs him on to do the ludicrous things he does. The setting of the early 1960s helps him no end since society was trusting and, to some extent, innocent at that time. Spielberg's portrayal of this and how Frank reacts to his parents' divorce and frank's utter admiration of his father (Christopher Walken, who is underused by far in modern cinema) really are the fortes of this film. There are some inadequate parts, namely the jumps in the chronology (how Frank ends up in France left me wondering just what the hell was going on, and Frank Abagnale Senior's death was rapidly explained rather than getting the film time it deserved) but that is always a problem with book-to-film adaptations, especially since this is a five year narrative we're talking about.
As for Leo's acting ability (c'mon, some of you want to know, that's why you've read this article) I can't really fault him. He's playing a character that's about 10 years younger than himself but he's a versatile enough actor to pull it off. He convincing as Abagnale. It's a return the old days of his acting when he reached such heights as What's Eatir)g Gilbert Grape back in 1993. The other noticeable facet of the film that are the brilliant opening credits, a highly stylised animation of the narrative which could be compared to something French like The Pink i^nther (1 enjoyed it as a kid but it's not really my area of expertise). Maybe what I've not mentioned (because every other reviewer does) is that it's highly entertaining, fast paced and good fun. A bit complex, but won't disappoint.
i i k I L
Unnecessary violence and murder is bacl< and no one Is more overjoyed than I am. Quentin Tarantino is about to grace us with his 4th film, Kill Bill and has transformed Uma Thurman from cool and sexy Mia Wallace in Pulp Fiction, into an arse-whooping protagonist. It's been 6 years since his last movie and the word is that this has been worth the wait.
There's bound to be more blood and guts spilled in X2 and The Matrix Reloaded and despite the fact that sequels are not meant to be appreciated by us elitist film reviewers, jumping gunmen dressed in black, men who take sideburns to the limit... what more do you really need to make a hit?
And if that doesn't grab you... how's about Deep Throat? It seems a porn movie made over 30 years ago merits having its very own documentary made about it. And imagine, the produ-
FILM NEWS
Brought to you by the power of DANIISMAIL

ction company behind it, swear jff' it's not just to celebrate Linda ^ I Lovelace's oral abilities. Right.
^ ' i Nicole Kidman, who has been I acting in quality films as of late, has firmly put her foot in the g| door and also finally has her i name in the stars. Not only is I she being hailed for her portrayal of Virginia Woolf in The Hours,
¦ but she's also going off on a tangent and you can see her as the infamous Hollywood Madam, Heidi Fleiss, in the aptly named Pay The Girl later on in the year.
To end on a depressing note, Britney Spears has not only one, but two movies in the making. As if we need to see her magni-a cinema screen, again. It's almost enough to induce tears, nausea; take your pick. The reverse however, an actress showing off her singing skills, vjP' notably Renee Zellweger in the nkI definiteiy-worth-all-the-hype mSS Chicago generates the feeling that the stars can actually do it all.
Orlando Bloom Tribute: I don't think Terance likes Orlando quite the same way that I do. That's why he didn't put him in last week. Traitor.
Look at that face! Sooo sexy, also so cute... He's a Beaver babe. If he was president, he'd be Babraham Lincoln.
JD 0
C


Dj Sneak, high godfather of house put in what • has become a sometimes ill-too rare appeara^ on the London club scene by gracing us with his presence at the biEitidn i|liii I |||||	of titft,sui$lMsS'«f
mv stnk^ (gWeit the thumbs up by r ^^^^ur esteemed music «ditor in last weeks Beaver) Sneak ¦HK jetted in to treat us to 4 hours of his unique blend of HjH	jackin house, weird bleeps and detrditesque
madness. At least that's the best way i can think to descrbe it. If you get the chance to check out the rotund one then do so immediately. Your feet will thank you.

Ik January 2003 - The End

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SCRATCH PERVERTS THE MIXOLOGISTS JOE RANSOM

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Just The Facts,,.
Author: Anne Donovan Publisher: Canongate Date: January 2003 ^rlce: £7.99_

"Ma da's a nutter. Radio rental. He'd dae anything for a laugh so he wid, went doon the shops wi a perra knictiers on his held, telit the wifie next door we'd won the lottery and were flittin tae Barbados..."
And so 'Buddha Da' begins.
It took me about three minutes to translate the first two paragraphs. I'd probably have thrown the book over my head in frustration within the next three minutes if the story - and the dialect -hadn't captivated me completely. I remember my GCSE English teacher warning us all to never, whatever else crazy thing we may do, to never ever write in dialect. It'd come out all wrong. Nobody would understand it. We'd fail English and have to live with the shame for the rest of our sorry little lives. As I read the first chapter to Anne Donovan's debut novel, I thought about sending her a little message telling her much the
same. It wasn't too late to thwart disaster -1 was only reading a proof after all. I made a mental note of it: 'Email Powers That Be at Canongate re: Buddha Da. Urgent.'
I never sent the message (as if I had a say in the first place): not because I wimped out or forgot - but because Anne Donovan proved me wrong. Throughout the introductory chapter where twelve year old Anne Marie talks about her father's new 'Buddhist phase', the use of Scottish (or perhaps Glaswegian?) dialect never let up. It's the same for the rest of the book as the family of three - Da (Jimmy), Mammy (Liz) and the 'wean' Anne Marie take turns narrating the events that occur when Jimmy first takes up meditation at the Buddhist Centre and then delves even more into the principles of the Buddhist faith.
Donovan has such an amazing skill with the
language that quibble-wise, the overarching use of dialect becomes a non-issue. My teacher would have probably used this novel as the standard that must be achieved before even considering giving our exam essays that 'individual touch'.
Scottish dialect is not the only thing that's sets this novel apart -the plot ain't too shabby either. Even if Anne Marie and her parents had spoken the Queen's English, I would have enjoyed reading their story - not as much granted, but since they didn't speak 'proper' English, the point is moot. I found Liz's reactions to Jimmy's sudden anti unexplained preoccupation with the Buddhist faith - and all its consequences -authentic and understandable - whether or not I in the same position would have acted the same way or made the choices she did. And though some of Jimmy's actions were insensitive
- for example missing Anne Marie's stellar performance in a school concert because of a visiting lama - I also sympathised with him. He was not meditating to be contrary: it was what he honestly found comfort in doing and all power to him for braving the ridicule of friends and family alike who couldn't tell a Hare Krishna follower from a lama - if they even realised there was a difference. At the novel's end I'm still wondering if Jimmy is an angel or a fool.
Buddha Da deals with serious themes but did not make me sink into a three hour depression as it was dealt with the humour we all find in our lives, even in the darkest moments. I thoroughly enjoyed Anne Donovan's first novel and am out to find her earlier work: 'Hieroglyphics and Other Stories' to tide me over till she publishes another.
Dalia King

Just Ths FEicts...
Author: Leif Enger Publisher: Transw/orld Date: October 2002 ^rice: £6.99_
E N G E a
'UioflATOMs mi WW.' !-rjnk .MtCitan teiatiM.* Nsebiite bum
Reuben Land spent the first ten minutes of his life on earth clinically dead before his father Jeremiah had knocked the disbelieving doctor to the floor, grabbed ahold of his newborn son, and commanded him to breathe. Another of Jeremiah's miracles complete, a now eleven year old Reuben takes the reader on a journey into small town Minnesota circa 1960s and further into the frozen badlands of the Dakotas when something happens that changes their lives forever.
That 'something' is the murder charge laid against Reuben's older brother Davy, who (sort of justifiably) shot and killed two local 'bad seeds' who were up to no good. However, 'bad seeds' or not, chances are that Davy could be facing permanent imprisonment and with this prospect looming
large, he takes off the day before his sentencing. The Land family follows him - and the FBI follows the Lands as they all search for the son/fugitive.
I don't rightly know what to make of this book. What is it? Inspirational? Spiritual? One of those works high-falutin' critics call 'deep' because they have not much else to say? I realise it's a work of fiction, but Enger still sets it in the 'real' world and so I do expect a bit of...realism. Jeremiah, a school janitor, comes across as some sort of modern day Jesus and 1 kept waiting for him to expose the grooves on his palms and his feet for the masses. To give you an example -Reuben sees his father, deep in prayer, walk right off the bed of a truck into midair and keep on walking "on the hand of God!" and later,
Jeremiah conjures up the equivalent of 'loaves and fish' with a never-ending pot of soup. Reuben seems to take all of this (and more) in stride and seeing as Enger does not even make it an issue (it just seems to be), I assume the reader is expected to feel much the same...but I don't. Jeremiah is performing miracles willy nilly with no rhyme or reason (If you could heal the afflicted with a touch, why not cure your asthmatic son?) and it's mentioned that most of the townspeople "ignored the miracles as they ignored Dad himself. Maybe I need to live in rural 1960s Minnesota to believe this.
If the glowing reviews for this debut novel are anything to go by, I'm obviously missing something: missing 'the magic'.
Another character who
begs the reader to suspend their belief is the child-prodigy, eight year old Swede, with her stunning vocabulary, and amazing works of poetry. Not that a supremely talented eight year old is something I have trouble imagining - but combined with everything else, it's just all too much for me. For me. There are tonnes of rave reviews for this novel and I'll feel like a right heel if 1 left you thinking it belonged in some sort of loony bin museum. Many have called it a 'Great American classic' crafted in the 'grand tradition of American com-ing-of-age literature'. Well, as Reuben himself says: "Here's what I saw. Here's how it went. Make of it what you will."
Dalia King

Sampling the Cellar at a City
Haunt
Marilyn Monroe's famous impromptu rendition of God Save the Queen, Al Capone's midnight massacre and the singeing of King Alfred's spotted dick. None of these historic happenings took place in Daly's Wine Bar (Reet Street, WC2), but we liked it nevertheless. Famous for its excellent selection of champagne, .(house champagne starts at £12.95 for a half bottle) its wines by the glass are also worth a try. We begun our oral adventure with two glasses of red. The Rjoja Crianza, (£4.50) is a velvety rich Spanish export. Blackcurrant tones with a fruity nose and full-bodied finish. The house Claret (Bordeaux Red £3.75) was a more conventional wine - much plainer and only suited to a simple palate. However, this standby is much better value than the house red if you're not feeling adventurous.
The Pinot Grigio, (£3.85) an incredibly popular choice, was delicate and light and extremely easy to drink. Though not big fans of New World wines the Opal Ridge Semillion Chardonnay Is a good choice for the sweeter tooth and at £3.85 reasonable value too. Finally we indulged In the only two Rose options on the menu which were, frankly a big disappointment. The Chillean Merlot though masquerading as Salmon pink was in fact a fiery and unremarkable red. The slightly acid taste left a linger that was less than satisfying. The French offering was no more exciting - bitter and banal.
The whole place has a feel of 1930's glamour and don't let the suited clientele put you off. Though so close to LSE this bar is perhaps best kept for a special occasion as the prices may empty the average student pocket.
Proximity to LSE; ?????
Service: ?????
Originality; ?????
Value; ?????
Taste; ????? (excluding the Rose)
Wapping Food
After a heavy night at Crush, when consciousness is resumed and standing up is no longer problematic, the mind turns to one thought-food. With this in mind. I ventured to 'Wapping Food' housed in a derelict hydraulic power station in deepest, darkest El in search of brunch.
The brunch menu is available from 10.00-12.30pm Saturday and Sunday and features classics including eggs Florentine, Benedict and the full English, all for between £5.00 and £8.00, washed down with Bucks Fizz, Bloody
By Natalie Marlow and Liz Humpliries
Limp Lettuce
Tuttons of Convent Garden is now reasonably well established but we both felt its pre and post theatre (before 7pm of after 10:30pm) options were the only things of real value on the menu. Main courses ranged from £11.00 to around £20.00 and a three course meal will set you back by around £25 before drinks. The food was fairly traditional Mediterranean and standards were adequate but nothing out of the ordinary. Although this eatery boasts special occasion prices, there are more exciting places to celebrate. If you do want somewhere local and have a big bunch of funky friends with bulging wallets this may be the place, othenA/ise stick to the Brunch Bowl until further notice!
Proximity; ?????
Service: ?????
Originality: ?????
Value: ?????
Taste: ????? By Natalie Marlow and Liz Humphries
Mary's or, for those in a more delicate state, strong coffee. We selected smoked salmon and scrambled eggs on toast and buttermilk pancakes, with bacon and maple syrup, both of which were perfectly executed, the bill including coffee, juice and service, came to just under £25.00.
O.K., so I know that when you need food on a weekend morn, breakfast chez Bankside seems infinitely more appealing than a trek to Wapping, but half the expansive surroundings
are dedicated to contemporary art (installations vary monthly), and the position on the docks makes Wapping Food the perfect base for exploring the area further. ::
Proximity;
Service:
Originality:
Value:
Taste:
By Zoe Hughes
Young Persons Railcard Competition
Young Persons Railcards have always made financial sense for us poor students - a third off all rail fares is always welcome.
A railcard only costs £18, and can pay for itself in one journey. It's available to all full-time students, regardless of age.
To buy a Young Persons Railcard all you need to do is go down to your local railway station with a passport-sized photo of yourself, proof that you are either 16 - 25 years old (a passport) or a mature student aged 26 or over in full time education (get your friendly tutor to fill out the form) and £18 pounds.
Alternatively, you could enter our fantastically generous competition and win one of the five we have to give away.
You may have noticed a similar competion last term in The Beaver, but our inbox was mugged by some unknow assailants. Feel free to enter again, especially if you have a tale of woe to tell involving Devon.
To win one of five railcards, simply answer the following question:
Which railway station does Harry Potter catch the Hogwarts Express from to go
to school?
a)	Holborn
b)	Durham c) King's Cross
E-Mail your ansyvers to thebeaver@lse.ac.uk
You can find more information on the railcard by visiting www.youngpersons-railcard.co.uk
LSE German Symposium - Week 4 - www.lsesg.de
"Old Europe" at its best - Mon 03.02./ 12; 15-1 pm/Peacock Theatre Harald Schmidt (Germany's No. 1 Late Night Talk Host)
German Foreign Politics/ Director's Dialogue - Tue 04.02./ 1-2pm/ PT Joschka Fischer (German Foreign Secretary)
Prof. Anthony Giddens (Director, LSE) - Chair
Germany's Business - Where next? - Tue 04.02./ 6:30-8pm/ 01 Barry Stickings (Chairman BASF pic)
Max Scheder-Bieschin (Managing Director, Corp. Advisory Group,
Deutsche Bank AG)
Senior executive Goldman Sachs
Germany: How to turn Gloom into Growth - Wed 05.02./ 3-5pm
Friedrich Merz (German MP, Dept. leader of CDU/CSU group in the Bundestag)
Prof. Stefan Collignon (LSE) - Chair
Where did the "Wirtschaftswunder" go? - Wed 05.02./ 6-8pm/ D 202 Prof. Norbert Walter (Chief Economist Deutsche Bank AG) Dr. Bernd Stecher (Chief Economist Siemesn AG)
Peter Jungen (Entrepreneur; President, European Business Angels Network (EBAN))
Sir Geoffrey Owen (Former Chief Editor Financial Times) - Chair
EU-Enlargement - Challenges and Changes - Thu 06.02./6:15-7/PT Guenter Verheugen (EU-Comissioner for Enlargement)
Prof. Stefan Collignon (LSE) - Chair
Germany - A Country's (Self-) Perception in Change - FrI 07.02./5;30-7pm/ HK Theatre
Thomas Matussek (Ambassador of the Federal Republic of
Germany to the UK)
Prof. Hans Mommsen (Historian)
Dr. Michel Friedman (Vice-President, German Central Consistory of Jews)
Prof. Chris Brown (LSE) - Chair LSE German Alumni Meeting - Fri 07.02 / from 7pm/ SCR Schneider Weisse - Oktoberfest - Fri 07.02/8:30-1 am/Tuns Oktoberfest-Party - Fri 07.02/ lam-open end/ L'Equipe Anglaise Club


The BemxrSport Football Lookalikes!
Tuesday 28th January
Sporting Greats Who Were Seperated At Birth From Their Lesser
Siblings...
Pete Riley
Mick Jagger
-iarry
Johnny Knoxvil
Andrew Schwartz
Diego Forlan
Andy Saxton
Mikey Turner
Brad Pitt
Vic Reeves
Jerry Seinfeld
Rachel Urquhart
Eowyn
t-—.___ " .
Malcolm in the Middle
Fit Nick Hill
Tuesday 28th January
the BeaverSport
Patience Is A Virgin!
LSE Men's Hockey GKT
3 3
It has to be said that our results this season as told by The Beaver have been quite admirable. Two wins and just one paltry loss ain't bad, even by our normally high standards. Unfortunately we've played slightly more than three matches so far this season, being as we've played every Wednesday since the beginning of the year.
Our new shirts had finally arrived for the New Year after having been ordered in August. Five months is pretty slow even by PSMTM's dire standards, leaving many to believe that their new policy was to grow the cotton themselves. Admittedly they're lovely shirts; soft as a virgin's untouched breast, with holes in all the right places and many more besides. We thus strode onto the pitch with appropriate pride, safe in the knowledge that nipple rub was once more a dim and distant memory. This feeling of warm fuzziness didn't last long though , as we were confronted with the sight of the opposition wearing remarkably similar kit. So once again we donned our pikey smelly white T-shirts like the gypo's we are, and grudgingly began our warm up.
It seems that this half of the season we will mostly be flying by the seat of our pants, as all our subs appear to have deserted us. C*nt had a run-in with a particularly aggressive wall over the holidays and has broken his hand. Klinnsman rather overestimated his skiing ability, trying to jump a five metre high cliff, which resulted in a badly mangled limb. Rasta spent a lot of time on
his own in the holidays, which resulted in a rather bad case of repetitive strain injury to the wrist area. However, Rasta, being the brave man he is (read stupid), played on through the pain. Of course, his suffering was eased by the fact that his wrist was hardly called into use, due to his reluctance to employ any skill whatsoever. With this complete lack of subs, the only thing that was going to see Bangra Man through this match was his large stock of energy tablets (its all psychological mate they do fuck all for you).
And so to the match. We started off slowly as usual, going behind within the first five minutes. Our normally dependable German captain had obviously overdone it on the Brotwurst during the festive period, and was what can only be described as shit. But we somehow managed to claw our way back into the match, going close on several occasions, but failing to stick it in the honey pot. A momentary lack of concentration at our end then presented GKT with an opportunity to double their lead, which they duly took. It was only then that we began to wake up, and a goal mouth scramble five minutes before half time was converted by our resident goal sniffer, Vish Suppa. After half time we again seemed to forget what Wednesday afternoons were about winning and conceded another weak goal, so that we were again trailing by two. I would liken Vish Suppa to Andy Cole, because although in essence he is a shit finisher (no offence) he creates a lot of chances, and
scores a fair few goals. And it is him we have to thank for salvaging a point out of this match, as he scored one goal and set the other up, to leave the final score 3-3. I would also like to mention Sharon, our Russian keeper, for pulling off quite possibly the best save I've ever seen. A deflected shot from five yards was heading straight for the top corner, when Sharon interjected with a diving save a full stretch to his right. This was enough to wrestle the man of the match crown from expectant arms of Vish Suppa.
Then it was back to the pub for beer and pizza. Another thing I liken Vish Suppa to is MIS; he seems to have secrets on everyone in this team. This week he decided it was the right time to divulge a particular revelation about FT Boy, one of the many freshers in the team. Basically, he has been going out
with his bird for over a year, but still hasn't managed to sink her battleship, as it were. Although his patience and understanding is all very commendable and indeed virtuous, it is at the same time extremely gay. No wonder the guy's been walking round like John Wayne for the last term. We have tried assaulting his senses in a variety of ways over this past week, in the hope that he will remedy the situation. Much more solo iove-making, as Rasta will no doubt testify, could lead to horrific injury, which will put an end to his LSE hockey career, at a time when we need him most. So we are appealing to him directly, to take the bull by the horns, and give her a good seeing to.
Quiz!!!!
Answer Questions!! Win Stuff!!
As the deadline for submission of the Sports pages drew near, a blanket of dread fell down on the noble sports editors. The tension was palpable, and tempers were at breaking point. With five minutes to go before four and a half blank pages would be this week's section, desperate measures were needed. Holly sighed, and suggested we held a 'Mr AU' competition. Gareth cried, and suggested we quit. And lo, in the depths of the despair, a miracle. A terse silence filled the room, and a charge filled the air like the oncoming of a thunderstorm. From behind the office door, a faint glow began to radiate, building to a sharp radiance. The light became as a vapour and filtered into the room where two astonished and completely knackered editors looked on, in the throes of amazement, and not without a tinge of fear. 'Thou hast sinned, oh purveyors of crap page fillers!' boomed an omnipotent voice, echoing all around the corners of the East Building. Thou hast taken the good name of BeaverSports, and turned it into a section full of shameless self-promotion, and rip-offs from last Sunday's Guardian! Thou hast taken the name in vain!' and with a rage of thunderous proportions, Nick Stoker's desk was smote in half and Terence's beloved Family Guy DVD collection ruptured and splintered into shards. 'Oh please oh mighty lord, give us a break!' pleaded Gareth, falling to his subservient knees. 'It's not our fault that no reports are being sent to us, and we do the best we can with limited intelligence!'. "Tis true, oh snivelling muppet', replied the voice 'and I shall be lenient, and spare your pitiful editorship'. 'Oh thankyou great editor from the sky!' cried Holly, 'how can we make things right? Please, let us amend our ways, what would you have us do? Sacrifice a virgin? There's a hockey guy I know who...', 'SILENCE!' errupted the voice, shaking the Underground to its very foundations, 'thou shallt concoct some sort of quiz, each question more devious than the last, and with the ultimate prize, the grail if you will, a signed photo of the two of you, or something of similar value, A used cigarrette butt, for instance'. 'Oh great editor, you are truly merciful, and most wise' grovelled the cringing figure of the first team's least valuable right back, 'It shall be done, and with aplomb!'. And with that, the voice was silent, the mist lifted, and all was calm. An ethereal calm descended. 'Let's do this quiz thing then...' said Holly. And so it came to pass...
The BecnxrSport
Tuesday 28th January
Sportsmen Have Feelings Too!
And So Do Sportswonnen, But They Won't Tell Us About Thenn...
Dear BeaverSports,
I am a first year hockey player, and am relatively successful, playing as I do for the first team. I have a long-term girlfriend, and we have been going out for about a year. We have a strong relationship based on mutual trust and respect. She's my best friend, and our relationship has been strong enough to endure us going to different universities. Just recently my team-mates found out that the two of us had not had sexual relations with each other, after a year or so of being together, and now they tease me relentlessly. In fact, everything they say to me is a pun on her virginal status, and this is upsetting and extremely distressing for me. As a testosterone-ridden teenager, I'd love to give her one, but my upbringing and my morals can't condone such deviant acts. What can I do? the piss-taking is really getting to me!
-Harassed from Hockey
Dear Harassed,
Well, we at BeaverSports have given your, uh-hum, 'problem', a lot of thought, and we'd like to give you some advice. We would like to suggest that the only way to make this problem go away, would be to invite your missus down to the Tuns on a Wednesday, and do her from all angles In front of your hockey teammates. Not only will you earn their -and the rest of the AU's-eternal respect, but -and let's face it- it beats masturbating in the shower.
We hope this is helpful, but remember: Stay Safe!
Dear BeaverSports,
I am a fifth team footballer (explaining my Wednesday night absences from either the Tuns or Limelight). I have been going strong with a girl for two or more years now. When we did our UCAS applications, I was horrified to note that she was intent on joining the ranks of half-wits at Strand Poly, whilst I was treading the golden path of LSE. We have tried to maintain our relationship despite her lunacy, but it's getting harder and harder. How can I look her in the eye, pleasure her sexually, or even be around her when she stands for everything that I hate? I have found myself spitting on the floor everytime she introduces me to her Poly friends, this can't go on!
-Flustered in the Fifths
Dear Flustered,
We have given your problems a great deal of consideration but at the end of the day there is only one possible outcome
DUMP HER
We hope that this is helpful!
AU Quiz!!
Ok, we promise, if you send us some answers, that we'll send the person with the most correct answers something worthwhile... usual addresses please...
1)	Approximately how many pints did the average barrel goer consume at this years barrel?
2)	Which netball team is currently unbeaten this year?
3)	Peter Pan, Scouse and the Floppy Haired Waterloo Miger Menace, play for which football team?
4)	Which team turned up at this years barrel ac^ Smurfs?
5)	Which team has the most England internatiorals. Men's Football, or Men's Hockey?
6)	Who scored LSE Women's Rugby's first ev^er try?
7)	Berrylands is in which county?
8)	Where do the Women's Football team train?
9)	How much is the cheapest bottle of wine at Lime-about?
10)	What karaoke song does Rex ALWAYS sing at karaoke in the Tuns?
BeaverSporfs
Tuesday 28th Jaimaiy	m	Issue 572
The only Kings exempt from the slanderous [cen-soredjing of Andy Saxton's poison pen.

"If there was no such thing as sport, we would all be frustrated sportsmen" -Mike Lyons
[censored] [censored] For The Mings From [censored] !
LSE 1st XI Go From The Sublime... To The Pinnacle Of Sporting
Greatness!
Andy 'King K//?gs[censored]' Sexton writes...
rr
LSE Kings[censored] 1 Kings [censored]	0
We were good. We were super good. Nothing could bring greater gleefulness to my life than this moment" - Loz
Allow me to Picasso you a picture; 22 players at the [censorecq poly pitches. 11 are [censored] [censored] from the spud[censored] hole of the Strand School of Mong, 11 are the living legends de /'Eco/e de Glory. We [censored] them. We [censored] them like the [censored], they are. Monstrous soul stealing, relative roasting and footballing fantastication commenced.
Special mention to ex-skipper Lochrie. What a [censored]. Kit removal from Tuns on Saturday mornings is not, and never has been a [censored] option. Three years he's been here, what a [censored], he's gonna be here a lot longer if he persists in this ridiculously idiotic idiotness. Second special mention to ex-skipper, current [censored] Lochrie, his self discipline and self punishment defines what it takes to succeed at uni footy. Having lost on Wednesday to the biggest bunch of virginal, talentless [censored], Lochers, gutted with his performance sleeps in bank doorway on knees, praying for improvement/unable to move after getting [censored] by random [censored]; legendary
commitment.
Arrival is shambolic, people here, people there, some [censored] [censored] still in bed. The day better get [censored] better. It did, it did with majesty not seen for four years. The week had been emotional, e-mail banter rife with filth and morale boost-ation. Team talks a-plenty filled the room de change with an atmosphere of animalism. We were ready. Lets [censored].
The first minutes involved numerous cardage incidents as we each ran round and [censored] our opposite number. It's all about winning your personal battles; with a ruptured sphincter the opposition cannot win. All over them early doors, pinging the ball around with pace, precision creating openings as wide as [censored]. Delightful work from Shiva, slots in Saxton, rounds keeper, slots homeward: [censored], using powers of incredibility, saves on the line. Domination is ours. Despite their [censored] coach, their organisation is all over the shop. They cannot cope. Two Kings' [censored] decide the only option out of this mass sesh of carnage is
to skull butt each other. One rearrangement of brainal position and one unskilled stitch removal later, they are two players down. Their subs are [censored]. We're gonna have these [censored].
All over the terrain were winners, it was a sight of sheer beauty. Nicky Hill was looking splendid, taking knocks for the team, nothing would pass the almighty, not unless possession of [censored] and [censored] were apparent. They weren't. Gaz Carter was a monster, [censored] the most, honed the art of [censored], [censored] was perfected by this beast of a legend. Scouse too performed incredible feats of [censored]. It was clear the ref was a [censored], there were no limits. Griff exploited this like the [censored] he is. Billy was King [censored]. Nothing, nobody and no [censored] from Mings was even close to the brilliance de Billy. Awesome display of power, passion and professionalism. Loz... well, er, Loz turned up. The midfield was a dominatrix of a [censored] [censored]. [censored]. James was forceful and strong in his penetration, the chicks digged it big time, beating fullbacks, whipping in dangerous balls from the bi-line. Mickey T was [censored] for about twenty minutes, playing with no shoelaces. Joker. Having been bitch slapped by some king[cen-sored], the boy became enraged and joined the [censored]-every-thing-near-you show. Lochrie was a sizable monster in the centre of the park. Giving all and dedication to trying to [censored] the enemy were clear for everyone to see. Injured for most of last term, Lochers returned with a
vengeance and an appetite for skull stamping and denial of wrongdoing. The flying double footed stamp to the knees is back.
Quality. The new kid Shiva played delectably down the left. Mixing it up, movin and groovin the boy
showed skill and class. Not an easy ask playing in front of Lozza, the man with the left-foot-sideline-[censored] Ming device embedded into his play. Andy Gold was a physical force to be feared by all. Nobody could touch the man de muchos talent. Rest assured, their defence was fully [censored] by expert [censored].
The game was physical, the pitch was boggy inhibiting fluency of both teams. We outfought Kings and illustrated greater desire, passion and fitness. They were [censored], we were better, we won. Game was decided by a fine illustration of what life is all about: As a tres wise man once said, success is all about consistently making the correct decisions. Mickey T exampled this superbly. 60 mins into the game. Fifth corner: After four consecutive deep back posters, Mickey calls near post whippet ball to LA. Perfectly executed, sneeky little flick on, Gold pounces, slams it home, roofed it! Should have been Scouse's goal but he was to busy lugging his bigfat ass along. Marveloso! Totally deserved lead. Having played like eleven [censored] giants thus far, we played the emaining thirty minutes like Super gods with super strength with super [censored] with super [censored] prowess. The stuff of legends. The sidelines were dominated by our team's dedicated chants of encouragement, our supporting beauty, glee at the sight of so much [censored] and shared joy at our victory. A true team performance. A real pleasure.
The nights team celebration was superb, riddled with virgins, beauty, ample entertainment and pure ectsasy. Many of the teams emotions were illustrated by the words of our beloved leader Loz,
"We were good. We were super good. Nothing could bring greater gleefulness to my life than this moment."
E-mail inquiries, reports, leltei bombs etc to h featherstoiie@lse.ac.ui< or g h.catter@lse.cic.uk.. cheers, you're stdncl up guys and gala. No really, you are Do one'