NEWSPAPER OF THE LSE The last days of libertarian legacy of '68 GORDON YOUNG, an expert in Student Union management, has drawn up an extensive package of proposals to reform the Union's structure and administration. It should be stressed that the proposals are only a set of recommendations which are at present under discussion. However, the report states in its introduction that Young has "not attempted to provide a detailed analysis of current failings, but rather a constructive set of recommendations." It therefore appears that Young is prescribing a remedy, whilst diagnosis of the Union's illnesses remains a matter of some controversy. Students who are as yet unaware that an outsider is shaping the future of their Union may fee interested to know that he can be recognised by his beard, round wiry glasses and boring voice. He is sometimes to be found in the Three Tuns where he drinks lager. He sees himself as a Student Union administrator, which, he says, shapes his philosophy on Student Union structure. DVIr. Young served as a sabbatical officer at a College of Higher Education, and has recently carried through the reconstruction of Lanchester Polytechnic. The main effect of the draft constitution is to give power to the exec, to create standing committees controlling Finance, Ents, Publications, etc., which would act as a bridge between the exec and the UGM, and to give union officers better defined responsibilities. The proposals also seek greater participation in Union affairs by incorporating the Athletics Union in the main Union structure. THE attempt to build a bridge between the Union meeting (still to be regarded as the sovereign body) and the Executive (elected by secret ballot) perhaps appears to the dispassionate observer as a fine piece of political management. The division of responsibility is, as the General Secretary has pointed out, a matter of national controversy in the student movement. But some students—notably members of the Beaver collective and Ents, important areas of student participation—are upset by the threat to freely-functioning open committees. The standing committees would be elected by the Union meeting and subject to control by the Exec. Young is apparently hostile to the idea of a sabbatical social secretary (which the report calls "somewhat profligate") and the proposed publications sabbatical. Under Part I of the present constitution, which can only be altered with the School's consent, the Athletic Union is only an associate member of the Students' Union. Young described this in discusssions earlier this term as "a divide and rule tactic in a conflict situation". His proposal to reverse this position is undoubtedly inspired by a desire to encourage the AU's many members to take a greater interest in Union affairs. Furthermore, the provision for special "Sports Meetings" of the Union would give athletes a greater opportunity to air their views on the running of the AU. The AU is at present entitled to 20% of the Union's money, and the report envisages no change in this situation. CONTENTS Blueprint for bureaucrats ............ Rag Week news and Panto photos ... Comprehensive coverage of the London arts PLUS! How to finance a personal egotrip costing £400 by packing Union meetings with fellow-hacks and under-strappers. p.2 pp.4 & 5 p.S "MANAGERIALISM" The report offers a basis for the clear codification of the responsibilities of officers which it is hoped will enable more coherent leadership and facilitate speedy decision-making.' ***** The main proposals on staff organisation is the creation of a Union Permanent Secretary, who would have extensive powers of staff and Union management, as well as administrative functions. The UPS would also bear responsibilities for disciplinary procedures, in consultation with the General Secretary or the appropriate section head. At present the student-elected General Secretary bears the responsibility for maintaining good relations with staff. Union policy towards its employees has been a persistent source of criticism in recent years. The report identifies three critical problems. Firstly, there exists no organisational structure of responsibility, and no criteria against which to assess staff performance. Once again, Young has offered a possible basis for a description of responsibilities. This, it is hoped, would avoid the recurrent situation of misplaced expectations of staff function and staff resentment when these expectations have not been communicated to them. Secondly, levels of staffing are criticised as inadequate. Several new posts have been suggested. At present, the Students' Union employs a senior administrative officer, a finance officer and his assistant, a secretary and a welfare officer, apart from those employed in our various services (the Shop, the Bar and Florries). Thirdly, working conditions are described as "abysmal"—which few would dispute. The report also envisages the restriction of the principle of open access of students to their employees. Staff pay and related costs account at the moment for just under 40% of the Union's budget of £100,000. The report obviously envisages a considerable growth under this budget heading. For this report to be passed, constitutional changes at present require a two-thirds majority in a quorate Union meeting. The Excutive Sub-committee has sole responsibility for staff policy. An advertisement for the post of UPS was submitted to National Student by the Administrative Sub-committee, although this move has now been vetoed by the Executive. Sweeney butchers Beaver Beaver Editor eagerly awaiting next edition of "First Issue." BEAVER, the paper which gave Bill Sweeney his first big break, finally got its come-uppance at last Thursday's budget meeting. After an exceptionally close vote (two recounts) it was decided to transfer £400 from the Beaver account to cover the cost of two further issues of the magazine "First Issue". The argument for this move was based on "slack" in the Beaver Budget (ie alleged underspending). However, apart from the fact that Publications has been the most drastically cut-back section of the budget in the past decade, there is no "slack" in our budget: we overspent last year. Fallacies in Sweeney's financial argument were not refuted by Ingram (Senior Treasurer) who was attacked in the front-page article of the last issue. It can only be assumed that personal feelings over-rode his responsibility to the Union. The Beaver collective is by no means opposed to the idea of a second paper, or indeed of First Issue getting Union funds. But it is a slap in the face for those who have spent so much time working for student union publications (sob sob) to see the Beaver budge^re-duced by 10%. This will probably mean two less issues per year. Beaver has always been and 'remains open to all contributions (including Bill Sweeney) whether ill the form of articles or work on the collective. This year we have printed news and feature articles from between 30 and 40 contributors in each issue. It will be surprising if First Issue proves so open, considering that last term's effort (of which more than half the copies were sold) was almost entirely "written" by Bill Sweeney and Chris von Scheiss. The Union does need a magazine along the lines of the old Clare Market Review — one that could accommodate longer reviews and and commentaries on operas than is possible in Beaver. Who produces it is irrelevant so long as it is successful and open to all LSE students. But this should be financed by extending the Publications budget. If Sweeney wishes to provide a service which complements Eeavey he should not do it by pacfcmg Union Meetings with friends to finance his paper. Taking money from Beaver does not help either of us in our job of informing and amusing LSE students. The Beaver Collective idl Walker on THE YOUNG PLA The main recommendations: CONSTITUTION * The AU and the Union to be re-united. * Political parties to be funded by students via Union. * External and academic affairs sabbaticals IN, sabbatical social sec. OUT. * Standing committees, responsible to the exec, to control Union affairs. STAFF * Employment of more staff, including. & permanent overall senior post. * Detailed job descriptions. * End to principle of "Open Access" union offices. * Permanent assistants to be appoint to the bar, shop and FEori ies. * New disciplinary procedures for a 111! staff. PAGE 2 YOURS DISGUSTEDLY A LIBRARY USER ... A POLITICAL RECENT visitors to the library may have been surprised to discover from the exhibition mounted next to the entrance, that it is "the world's most outstanding library in its field." I don't know how many LSE students will have seen that statement ; they've been working in other libraries around London, where they can find books with much less effort than they can here; To be fair, the new library-is much better than the old one. The catalogue is as appalling as ever, and it may be an effort to find a book without a compass and a native guide : but it's better than the old system where you had to give in a slip, and wait two or three hours to have it handed back marked "regret cannot be found." I haven't, as yet, seen anyone in tears about the place—as I did last year. But. as many people will testify, there are other problems. Borrowing rights have been extended this year to allow all postgraduates to take out classified stock — which means, of course, that the books on reading lists tend to disappear. The library does, technically. provide certain safeguards. First. thei~e are yellow labels on some books to show that they're for reference only. But this applies to very few books indeed. Second, it is possible to recall books by enquiring at the loan counter. But this usually takes about a week, by which time it's too late for the particular class or seminar you wanted it for : and then the book is reserved for the person asking for it to be recalled — which means it is denied to other people. Besides, it's difficult to know whether a book is in the library or not; it may be in use somewhere, missing, or locked in someone's carrel or study-room. The absence of an effective system of marking where books are being used makes it difficult to tell, and most people, if they don't find a book on the shelf, just give up and look for something else. Postgraduates are. naturally, making full use of their borrowing facilities. Some claim to have more than twenty books out, although the limit is meant to be six. Their reaction is understandable : they know-that if they don't take the books out, the other people on their course will. And this leaves other people — undergraduates as well as postgraduates—high and dry. I can't think of anyone (outside the psychology department) who's happy with the situation. What can be done ? There are a number of possibilities. The first, and most obvious, would be to restrict borrowing from the library—either by a restriction on borrowing classified books, which we had last year, or perhaps a total end to borrowing (which would be entirely consistent with the library's role as a major depository of works on the social sciences). Secondly, a system to help find books within the library is badly needed. The scheme of yellow slips sup- posedly used at present can't work because there are too few slips in too few places, readers' seats aren't marked clearly and in a comprehensible sequence, and because used books are put on to special shelves rather than being kept in the place marked by the slip. No change is possible, and no scheme can work, without the consent and co-operation of the students involved — which is why it was suggested I write this article. We need to know what you think, and how you would react to the sorts of scheme that have been suggested. Please write to me. c/o the Graduate Common Room, and look out for the petition that will be circulated. Paul Spicker Graduate Students' Committee. A STARGAZER.. Af ikt, ^ ww tmood OF 1979 AfmPMTZu/ ZrioOGH IT COhlCZtfc oiv0# P^OPL^'S or lotjesz cp RM ^0UU>1 J C&fecr\\/* IM W clzapu/ i)HcoN$n?uc-nte a?ina£j FACT : Employers of journalists are NOT impressed by people who are not even keen enough to take an interest in their own student paper. WHERE ARE YOU ? PAGE UNION BLUEPRINT? or is it a blueprint for disaster... by Carol Saunders FOR the past few weeks the Union has fceen buzzing with rumours about what has fcecome known as the "Young Report" (in i»me less charitable circles the "Gordon is a Moron Report"). The report, which is cut lined on page one, has important implications for many individuals and groups within the Union. Inevitably reactions to iit have been varied. The instigation of the report has in Itself lM«n a controversial subject. The Union Staff in particular have been very critical of Its handling. They claim to have been kept in total ignorance of the executive's intentions and several claim they were not even aware that Gordon would be coming until he actually arrived. Julian Ingram, S«nior Treasurer, on the other hand, has called this accusation "absolute crap", although in his introduction to the report Gor-«#on himself states that the initiation of it "was a classic example of bad management". Staff disquiet Not surprisingly there is a good deal of clisquiet discernible amongst members of staff. The report comes at the end of an extended period where staff/union relations have been poor to say the least. Accusations that staff do not justify their pay. coupled with what all parties have described as a noticeable lack of communication, were indeed largely the cause of the production cf the report at all. Pew of the staff object to there being a report in principle. Emma Hamilton-Brown, Senior Administration Officer, describes it as "Interesting and thought provoking". Many feel that Gordon is right in stating that the position of staff in the Union is hazardously ambiguous. Ted Cater, Bar Manager, feels that this has even led to acrimony amongst the staff. Tom Bruin. Financial Advisor, feels that clarification about staff positions is long overdue. He points out that many attempts to do so have been defeated in the past. The problem as' he sees it is that staff duties are so unclear that as he expresses it "They tend to be just what individual members of staff themselves undertake to do." Staff are not as concerned about their working conditions as Gordon suggests in the report that they might be. All the staff have complaints about equipment and many have grumbles about lack- of space. But they seem to accept that this is one of the prices to be paid for working for a student's union. Only Cheryl Younson, Permanent Secretary, wanted to see less student access to her office — and in her case this is easy to understand. Indeed all the staff without exception felt that their main problem was a lack of recognition and feedback for their work. Staff contracts There are in fact two controversial areas ...of the report that relate to staff. Firstly there is the suggestion that staff contracts should be re-negotiated. None of the staff are opposed in principle to renegotiating their contracts. But there is a definite feeling that the proposal is, in fact, talking about staff pay. Elana Ehrlich, Welfare Officer, states: "The real problem is a lack of recognition that paying staff costs money." Kate Slay, Shop Manageress, points out that whilst students think that the staff are overpaid they are themselves aiming for high salaries and that indeed several of the Union staff are graduates too. The second controversial area of the re- port relates to the new post of Union Permanent Secretary. This is without any doubt a radical new departure for the Students' Union, introducing as it does a managerial aspect to the Union's affairs. For those who support the idea it is seen as the only way to rationalise the running of the Union. Julian Ingram describes it as "an excellent idea as a long-term plan" and Will Richardson, General Secretary, agrees. The trading staff are not on the whole unhappy about the idea of having a clearly delineated "boss". Mrs Franks considers that it would make no difference to the running of her trading enterprise and Ted Cater agrees, although he would want to see the power of such a post clearly defined. Cheryl Younson and Tom Bruin also have no objections to a Union Permanent Secretary. Tom points out that it is common practice in other Students' Unions. Kate Slay, on the other hand, is not convinced that with such a small number of staff a specifically managerial post is necessary. She believes that a different role should be played by somebody, but suggests that managerial responsibilities could easily be shared within the existing staff structure. But is the whole idea of a managerial structure in keeping with the spirit of LSE's Students' Union? Many clearly believe it is not. Emma Hamilton-Brown, who has worked with the Union for eight years, feels hands of the Union bureaucracy. Naf Farey, Executive member for the Athletic Union, feels that the report emphasises the conflict between the open committee system and the need for accountability. He feels that the report, in its insistence on accountability, goes too far in destroying LSE's precedent of relying on open committees. Again these arguments are countered by both Will and Julian, who feel that the Union is weakened by its lack of accountability. Ents and publications The two areas of the Union most affected by these changes are Ents and Publications. The report envisages elected committees in both cases and involves the ending of the Sabbatical Social Secretary. Steve Bradbury, the present Social Secretary. is very unhappy about these suggestions. He argues that without a Sabbatical there could be no Ents and that it would make it impossible for Ents not to lose money. He points out that Ents is currently several hundred pounds better off than it was this time last year. The arguments against an elected Ents Committee are very much the same as the The union has decided all through this year that it just isn't interested' that a definite reversal is taking place. "It is ironic" she says, "that in 1971 the Union fought to get rid of its President and authority structure". Elana Ehrlich went so far as to ask Gordon. "What is the difference between an army and a Students' Union in this plan?" Alienation Certainly, the staff agree, the creation of a "boss" might make the Union more efficient. But Elana Ehrlich asks a question that seems to be underlying several people's attitude to the report, "What for?" She finds it indicative that Gordon felt himself unable to define her own job, which involves people rather than record-keeping. Elana believes very strongly that implementing the report would lead to students feeling even more alienated from the Union and that there would develop a gap between elected students and management. She argues that whilst there are problems in the Union, it is only a matter of opinion that the problems are of organisation and management, solvable only by more hierarchy and structure. Elana believes that this is in fact to misconstrue the structure of Student Unions. "The difficulty with this plan is that it puts power at the apex not the base. My conception of a Students' Union is of an inverted pyramid." The constitutional reorganisation of the Union is also seen by people other than the staff as a consolidation of power in the arguments which have been voiced continuously by the Beaver Collective over the past few years. Those involved believe that they can only function by attracting those people who are genuinely interested and enthusiastic. They argue that by having elections, people would be attracted by the idea of political power. None of the people who presently work for Ents and Publications want to see their open committees degenerate to the political wrangling that characterises the executive. The closing of the committees, they argue, would inevitably lead to the kind of political clique that those who support the move purport to want to end. This tension between autonomy and accountability is one which other students feel is being misrepresented by those who support the report. They see the report as attacking the keystone in LSE's historical philosophy, for by strengthening the power of the top of the Union structure, through more hierarchy and closed committees, the level of student involvement in Union decision-making must inevitably be restricted. More important they see the move as a definite shift away from the principle of Union sovereignty. Athletic Union The proposal that the Athletic Union be reunited in to the Union is one which is already generating a good deal of concern, however at the moment fiery responses are It's frightening that so few people can make such a decision involving so many people and so much money' taking the place of considered analysis, simply because at the moment of writing there has been no proper explanation of the plan to the Athletic Union itself. Finally, and perhaps most important, there have been overwhelming criticisms from all people concerned with the report, that the executive is moving far too fast in making decisions which could mean far-reaching consequences for the Union. Julian argues that the executive has no option on the grounds that if the major decisions are not made by the end of term there will be the problem of passing on all the information to a newly elected executive unsure of its job. Nonetheless Julian was himself severely reprimanded by the executive meeting of 17th January for his central part in an Administration Sub-Committee meeting on the previous day which took it upon itself to advertise the post of Union Permanent Secretary before further discussion could take place. Julian argues that ultimately all staffing decisions are the province not of the Union but of the Executivce. He says "The Union has decided all through this year that it just isn't interested." Whilst Will agrees, he does believe that before any appointments are made they must morally come to the Union for ratification. Gordon himself is reputed "to have been furious that the Executive seemed to have no intention of consulting the Union. He stated definitely: "If the Executive attempt to make piecemeal changes on their own from my draft report they won't do it with my connivance." But perhaps Kate Slay summed up a lot of the unease that is evident around the Union when she said: "It's frightening that so few people can make such a decision involving so many people and so much money." Pathetic response The report, still in its draft form, is being analysed by the Executive at the moment and copies are available from Emma for anyone who is interested. Its eventual plans would take about five to six years to implement and some of it is bound to be altered. But it must be borne in mind that the initial decisions will be made in the next week and it is to be hoped that this will not be met with the apathetic response which has characterised the Union in recent months. PAGE 4 0 RAG WEEK What, where, when, and who to contact A COLLATED group of idiots and self-ordained organisers has formed itself (under the banner of "Rag Weeik '79 Committee". Integrating chaos, disorder and purges of Establishment, their purpose is primarily to re-impose L.S.E. in the National Gallery of Rag Weeks, by a Robbin' Hood redistribution of National Income in favour of disabled children. All able-bodies are conscripted to this band of Merrymen (and who's not able???). Meet every Tuesday, 1 p.m. in Room S177. What is a Rag Week? A Rag Week consists of a series of fund-raising activities — with stress on the enjoyment to be gained from the activities, rather than on proceeds being made, which will go to various charities. Why should we have a Rag Week? L.S.E. seems a socially barren and funless place to too many students, many of the Union activists seemingly unmoved by the demands of average students. Who will the money go to? Although the precise charities have yet to be confirmed at the jokes are racist or sexist (and thus banned from our Rag Mag.) then this is the chance to learn some new humour. Democratic as always, we ask that contributions be presented to Naf Farey, c/o Three Tuns. To be a little more practical, we definitely need to find a lot of companies willing to advertise, and thus the immediate requirement is for people willing to sell our advertising space. Local pubs, breweries, shops etc. are all potential clients— but someone must approach them. If you feel inclined to use some initiative, please contact Tim Bar-nett (278 3251). If the Rag Mag emerges from the publication process, it will indubitably need distribution. Contact Steve Barwick (Undergrad. pigeon-holes) if you feel like a weekend with a friend at another University: hitching is good practice for the summer, and selling Rag Mags is a traditional source of fun and games!! Concurrently, the person who is kind and stupid enough to buy a Rag Mag, may fall in and buy a Raffle Ticket. Again we need "peddlers", and if anyone knows how, without theft, we can obtain any Major Prize, please phone Angela Benton (278 3251). and any contacts with celebrities would all be appreciated. The person awaiting your assistance is Marian Williams (Passfield Hall). Monday 12th — Just to prove that 50 minute lectures aren't really boring, come and sit through 90 minutes of "The Most Boring Lecture" — a competition between our very , own lecturers, exhibiting skills and humour not normally exploited. No eggs, tomatoes, and H-bombs allowed. Tuesday 13th — Demo day. LSE adheres to its image of political demonstrations by traffic disruption, bank raids, a petition to Downing Street. Whatever else you genii can imagine, put it into practice by co-organising with any one of those mentioned here. Wednesday 14th — This is the day of the ideal combination: children's street party in the afternoon and pub crawl in the evening. The party obviously demands a lot of help (200 kids could do a Sham 69 on LSE). So anyone willing to put some effort in, either with the food (all contributions gratefully received), with the street decorations, or by controlling rampant kiddies and giving them a good time — please sacrifice yourself at the hands of Christina Archbold. RAG DIARY — MARCH 10th - 16th SATURDAY MARCH 10—Rag Ball. Evening; Main Building. SUNDAY MARCH 11th—Sponsored Walk, 11 am, start at Lincoln's Inn Fields. Revue, afternoon/evening. Old Theatre. MONDAY MARCH 12th—Pillow Talk, evening, Old Theatre. TUESDAY MARCH 13th — Demonstration, lunchtime onwcr^s. LSE area. Balloon Debate, evening. Old Theatre. WEDNESDAY MARCH 14th—Children's Street Party, lunchtime onwards, Houghton Street. Political Debate, lunchtime, Old Theatre. THRURSDAY MARCH 15th—Barn Dance, Live Band, Disco- All night, Teaching Library. FRIDAY MARCH 16th—Street Party—Students Idiocy Time. Houghton Street. Union General Meeting, a motion is to be proposed by the Rag Committee which will ask for proceeds from the Rag Ball to go to the Anti Nazi League, and money from other events to be donated to the Invalid Children's Aid Association. Help a London Child, and the L.S.E. Hardship Fund. What can you do to help? The Rag Committee meets every Tuesday, 1 p.m. in Room S177 (in the corridor by Florries). Please come along to put forward your ideas, to volunteer your help. Different groups responsible for specific events are meeting separately — keep an eye on notice boards for details. If your attendance at meetings is an impossibility, contact Tim Barnett through the Undergrad. pigeon-holes for your help to be utilised. General Information Rag Magazine: Not to be missed, this could be the sign of a classical Rag Week. If the majority of Detailed Rag Diary Saturday 10th — This is the major event! (trusting all to the care of our able Ents). The name of the band is as yet a surprise — in fact any band will be a surprise ... . . Seriously, Rag Balls (Who has?) are traditionally the opportunity for drunken revelry, and this IS the End Of Term . . . Roll on Ents. Sunday 11th — God's Day of Rest, so we propose a 10-mile sponsored walk, along the Jubilee Walkway. Sponsorship forms available from the Union Office, Union Shop, Three Tuns, and Florries, any time now. Otherwise, if you'd prefer to observe and check the "athletes" as they pass by, or to administer re-freshments(!) please ring Deborah Annells (278 3251). Opting for a seat in the Old Theatre, we present the first L.S.E. "Revue '79". Takes a lot of doing . . actually, help in selling tickets, To put students bcck into their natural environment, the pub crawl will have the double purpose of selling Rag Mags, badges, stickers and so on, to the drunken sots met on route. Enlist with Andy Pook (278 3251). Thursday 15th — For the evening, an all-night Rag Freak-out: Barn lance. Band, Disco and simultaneous film show. At the moment these are only propositions, we have yet to organise a bar extension, and will need help in selling tickets, and in generally running the event. Contact Tim Barnett or Angela Benton (278 3251). Friday 16th — Celebration Day: Our own Street Party, to contest the feeble styles of 1977. Here commence boat races, idiocy, and several surprise illustrations of L.S.E. lunacy. Ideas and help to Christine Archbold. All these mentioned above can be contacted through the Undergrad pigeonholes. ©bituar^ LSE Students' Union THE LSE Students' Union died at 3 pm on Friday 12th January, after a long and troubled illness, diagnosed as a fatal combination of acute paranoia, melancholia, and a morbid obsession with its own constitution. It will hopefully be remembered for its more illustrious days when it upheld itself as a paragon to help the exploited, the oppressed and the worker. Its decline in the past few years has been noticed by all and its closest friends have long suspected that this tragedy would occur. Saddest of all is the fact that the death was slow and painful as inquorate meeting after inquorate .meeting finally robbed it of its last breath, its closest friends (Sabbaticals and Exec) have been stricken by grief, so much so that they cannot be convinced of its . final downfall. The funeral was held on Thursday January 18th and all friends and relatives were invited. This meeting was better attended than previous meetings but this was because certain people hoped to benefit from the will, and disrespectfully left before the end of the service. The close friends are convinced that there will be a resurrection after this funeral, but all in vain since the grave dug by apathetic students is exceptionally deep. May the London School of Economics Students' Union R.I.P. - * M NIGHTLINE U.C.L. HEALTH CENTRE 3 GOWER PLACE 01-387 0680 NIGHTLINE is an evening till morning Information and help centre catering for students in central London area. The office and phone service operate every night from 7 pm to 8 am when two volunteer students from the central London colleges will be present to provide help and advice on a variety of subjects. Recently, we have noticed that the service has not been used as much as it could have been, or has been in past years. One reason for this seems to be that students are either unaware of its existence, or they do not realise exactly what services it provides. So to make this a little clearer, Nightline has two main functions. It provides an information service on a very wide variety of subjects which affect student life. If you are looking for something to do in London, we have up-to-date information on college events, cinema and theatre in London, societies and political events, discos, sports facilities and late night cafes, restaurants etc. If you need advice on legal matters, welfare benefits and rights, pregnancy, abortion or contraception, drugs (practical and legal) or financial matters, we can supply information or refer you to organisations offering expert advice. We have the addresses and telephone numbers of hospitals and doctors, in the case of accident; of emergency car repair services if your car has broken down; and details of night transport if you're stuck in the middle of London at three in the morning. For students looking for short or long term accommodation we have the addresses of hostels, halls and crash-pads. For overseas and disabled students we have information concerning your specific rights and problems. Also if you are lonely and depressed you can come up Nightline for a sympathetic ear or come round for a cup of coffee and a chat at 3 Gower Place, near Euston Square tube station. All calls and visits are treated with utmost confidence and it is hoped that other students rather than professional "experts" will help to put people more at ease about calling. It seems a pity, with the large amount of help and information Nightline can provide, that so few people are using the service. So, if you need advice or information on anything it's much easier to pick up a phone and ask than to plough through endless college handbooks and telephone directories for the right organisation. If you're feeling a bit down then why not phone up or come round for a chat — that's what we're here for! more. PAGE 5 PAN * )ENTRE E telephone id doctors, ; of emeres if your md details >u're stuck i at three ar short or n we have halls and s and dis-; informa-cific rights y and de-) Nightline or come lee and a ear Euston I calls and tmost con-that other irofessional put people ig. the large nformation hat so few srvice. So, nformation 3ier to pick l to plough handbooks ;s for the ,'ou're feel-not phone a chat — or! Top left: Toby Rose opens the proceedings. Bottom left: Captain Hook (Jeremy Moore) and pirates. Above : Lost boys mourn the death of poor Wendy. Below: Lalita and Governor Darling. GREAT $0$.ES f LSE N0, S 4 WORKERS' INSTITUTE I OF MARXISM-LENINISM-MAO TSETUNG THOUGHT ON 6th and 7th December Peter Pan was performed by students of the LSE. The show was produced by Toby Rose and directed by Wesley Wark. Review — page 8. ? Photos are available for purchase from Katy van Haef-ten c/o U/G pigeonholes. Pass field: a progress report ON the seventh of January, Passfield inmates flocked back from the provinces in eager anticipation of luxuriating in the tropical warmth promised by their new central heating ssytem. Imagine their surprise when they returned to find that the Passfield temperatures remain unique in their resemblance to those of the Siberian steppes. We were all intrigued by the ingenious economy measures of the heating engineers, which were achieved by installing gleaming white radiators in every room (thus giving the impression of warmth) but which were cleverly unconnected to any system. The inmates, in true Passfield tradition, refuse to be downcast in the face of adversity and have retaliated by devising all manner of new winter sports in order to keep warm. For instance, manically polishing the surrealistic sculpture left in your room by the more artistic plumbers which to the untrained eye would appear to be lengths of copper piping protruding through the floor. By glancing through the yawning hole in the bathroom floor one can catch up on the latest table tennis scores in the games room immediately below. Traditional methods of keeping warm at Passfield are falling out of vogue as, due to the unusually narrow Passfield beds (2ft 6in) it is easier (and safer) to huddle round your last match than it is to indulge in close encounters of the carnal kind. However, an intrepid few grapple on undeterred and good luck to them! But before long, this other Eden will be no more. The LSE architect has decided to con- demn our dining-room along with the bar and the common-room. These are to be buried underground in a pleasant little spot euphemistically called the basement. The staff are to be moved into a self-contained Fuhrerbunker in the garden; whether this is for their own protection or for the students' is not certain. The result of the redevelopment will be that thirty more of you lucky people will be able to join the inmates here at Passfield . . . P.S.: The results of the guess the completion of the central heating sweepstake will be announced some time in the distant future. On The Opening of the New Strand Detention Centre by the British Fascist State In October of 1978 the British fascist State, in a calculated attack on students and the working masses, opened its latest Detention Centre near the LSE, thinly disguised as a library. We are not fooled by this blatant attack on the masses, as is proven by the activities which occur within this latter-day Dachau. Students are incarcerated within its grim walls for hours and { days at a time, forced into the degrading work ethic, and indoctrinated with the fascist principles of the State. The fascist gang of so-called "Directors" and "Governors" have construed an open attack on the student body by this action. This shows the only way to fight for the Communist spirit is to throw off the shackles of this fascist education and join us in the fight to fill LSE dustbins with this drivel . . . Passfield Plumbing — the new technology. ALL GA US SEN GAITERS ELL S.E. WHO will replace Ralf Dandruff (friendly, intelligent, unpopular Director of LSE) should he ever decide to leave us for his beloved EEC Commission? One possible contender for his job is Dr Beelzebub Satan, an enigmatic character to say the least. Dr Satan is notorious for his, shall we say, idiosyncratic views on world matters, as well as his somewhat curious habits. Beaver managed to secure an exclusive interview with Dr Satan, a dapper, crouching figure who would look completely normal were it not for the strange sharp points protruding through his greasy locks, a curious tail spilling out of his trousers, which he occasionally tripped over, his habit of intermittently emitting fire from his mouth and his ability to disappear in a puff of smoke. He spoke modestly of his "long, eventful and successful career" during which, he claimed, "I have influenced governments and people all over the world." Should Satan apply for the post of Director, it is almost certain that he would receive strong support from that bastion of democracy, the Court of Governors, who are known to be worried about Dr Dandruff's alleged "left-wing leanings". Dr Satan is regarded as politically "moderate", and he has already made his position clear on a number of contentious issues. On South Africa, for example, Satan believes that, far from LSE "disinvesting" it should forge much stronger links with "that enlightened and progressive regime which epitomises in so many respects what I have been struggling to achieve for the last few thousand years or so". Dr Satan is well-known for his passionate — some would say fanatical — hatred of what he terms "do-gooders", asserting that they have done much to undermine his efforts down the ages. If he becomes Director it is more than likely that there will be a purge —-"by fire if necessary" — of "lefties, do-gooders and troublemakers" (Rodney Barker, 23). And if anyone opposes Satan and his plans? "Oh they can go to hell" he retorted, raising a collective groan from the Beaver office. IfcR Boots on for ICAR! WE enter 1979, our throats lubricated at the New Year revels and our boots freshly soled, ready for the new season's crop of marches and demos, Mark this date in your diary right now —SATURDAY, MARCH 21. This day has been designated an International Day of Action by ICAR, International Campaign for Abortion Rights. Action is to be organised around "Women's demands for— * the right to control our own bodies ? the right to contraception * the right to free abortion ¦* the right to refuse forced sterilisation. Here in Britain, NAC (National Abortion Campaign) is to organise a demonstration for more widespread day care facilities. Most women seeking an NHS abortion have no alternative to a few days spent on a hospital gynaecological ward. Day care centres offer out-patient abortion. These centres are staffed with nurses, doctors, receptionists who are sympathetic to women and so unlikely to adopt a punitive attitude. The procedure for obtaining an abortion is also shorter, resulting in more early, safe terminations. This adds up to a service which is less of a strain on hospital gynaecological facilities, more private and less punishing to already anxious clients and also CHEAPER. The average cost to the NHS of an abortion at Tower Hamlets Day Care service is £35—compared with a cost of £112—for each hospital abortion. Up to the present there are only twelve NHS day care centres in the whole of Britain. So get out your diary and reserve March 31 for ACTION with ICAR! JANET SIMPSON BLACKLEGS AT ECONOMIST BOOKSHOP Bf Melissa Benn and Tim Owen IT ME strike at the Economist ^$«kshop is now in its 15th week. The strike raises issues o* fundamental importance; Jhe right to trade union recognition, and the rights of unions Sc negotiate workers' wages and fcondMiottS. The dispute could be resolved if the L.S.E. and their representatives on the Board of Directors (who include Professor of Industrial Relations, Ben Roberts!) were to assert the rights of the workers to unionise. In October of last year a majority of the sales assistants at the Cl&remarket shop decided to join A.C.T.S. (a section of the T.G.W.U.) and put forward a claim for increased pay and better conditions. The workers' right to union representation was decisively rejected and this has become the key Issue at stake. Gerald Bartlett's anti-union views are well known. But Bartlett is ac- countable to the Shop's Directors and it is their backing of him which has been of crucial importance in the strike. After the failure of A.C.A.S. to "conciliate", Professor Yamey — chairman of the Board of Directors — agreed to a meeting with the strikers on December 12th. Since that date an offer has been made — which gives the strikers little more than their legal entitlement, i.e. the right to union representation is .enly conceded on an "individual basis". It is also important to point out the attitude of the LSE's Director, who at a court of Governors meeting in December spoke against a motion, proposed by I.L.E.A. The view of the Economist magazine, as represented by its editor, is also relevant. In a letter to an M.P. (January 8th) Knight declared that he was 'satisfied that the democratic thing is being done. Democracy is about the will of a majority and protection of minorities". This view echoes one of the main arguments of the Directors against granting union recognition, that the strikers represent only a minority of the work force. This is a spurious argument. The introduction of blackleg labour has altered the ratio of strikers to non-strikers, and there has been a reduction in the numbers of strikers themselves — but at the beginning of the strike those taking action represented a clear majority of the two Holborn shops and 50% of the Company's booksellers — including the Enfield branch. Besides the point at issue is not one of numbers: the strikers are not asking for a closed shop and collective recognition for them would in no way affect the rights of other workers. The strike was made official on December 13th, and this has made the blacking of deliveries to the shop more effective as well as publicising the dispute more widely. The sales assistants are now on full-time strike. This decision was taken for a number of reasons, the most important being disgust at the Directors' second offer — which represented no real advance in negotiations. Student support for the strike has been strong. The boycott of the shop has sharply reduced over the counter sales but the fact that roughly 50% of total revenue comes from mail order makes the continuation and improvement of this boycott vital. Students have also helped with picketing — and it is hoped to begin picketing the mail order department in Camden Town. 'PROSTITUTION' so say LSE women. But Julia Morley defends her contest. ALMOST past the zenith of the dull Thursday afternoon, a loud argumentative buzz commenced in a room buried in the corridors of the main building. The "guest of honour" — Mrs Julia Morley — was cornered into an intellectual discussion on Miss World contests. Incidentally, she organises them and repeatedly stressed the changes she had introduced to them recently. Quite rightly, the students claimed that the whole contest was orientated towards'the physical — some said it was "modern prostitution," Mrs Morley responded as expected — the contest revealed the "inner beauty" of the candidate in the physical. A volley of faintly connected but mainly totally irrelevant discussions, eg on fascism and other unmentionables sent tremors of laughter and agitation through the crowd. Credit must nevertheless be allocated to Mrs Morley, for her "diplomatic" handling of the situation, her touch of elegance and constant charming display of teeth — a truly satisfying vision for any dentist. Could we have more of this emotional upheaval — the next victim being perhaps ah ! Dave Allen or even Mick Jagger! Miss Malvika Raj Kumar Apartheid or health? MANY people are aware that the policy of apartheid practised in South Africa s not, contrary to what the South African (government would have one believe, separate and equal development based ®n racial lines, but that apartheid is tarried out to the detriment of the farge majority of the people depriving them Dff even basic human rights. What may tee less well known and which goes itiand in hand with the denial of these slights is the appalling effect it has on She health of the people of South A\frica. One of the best indicators of the level of health in a society is the infant mortality rate (IMR). In the case of South Africa national figures are available for whites, coloureds and Asians but only in certain localities for Africans. In Durban the respective figures for 1972 were 18, 35, 39 and 11 per 1,000 live births. In the Transkei in 3970 the figure was 216—in in five children dies before his first birthday; in some rural areas the IMA for Africans is -estimated at over 400 per 1.000. In England and Wales in 1973 the figure was 17. Poverty The interaction between poverty, malnutrition and infection is well established. The root caus of malnutrition is poverty—according to World Bank figures South African blacks had a yearly per-capita income of 150 dollars in 1974. (In the wealthiest country in Africa such poverty can only be caused by grossly unequal distribution of wealth.) It is not surprising therefore that malnutrition is. rife among blacks. Of a total of 7.590 patients admitted in 1975 to King Edward VIII Hospital for blacks, 51% were malnor-ished. For whites the problem is one of over-nutrition, similar to the situation .in this country. Kwashiorkor or protein calorie malnutrition, producing permanent retardation of intellect as well as predisposing to physical disease, was removed from the list of notifiable diseases in South Africa in 1967. It is well known that if one is malnourished one is prone to infection. This is graphically illustrated by the incidence of communiable diseases in the black community. Tuberculosis, typhoid, tetanus, diphtheria, measles, polio and infectious hepatitis are present in significant numbers. The prevalence of these diseases in the black people of South Africa today is similar to that experienced in Britain in the early part of this century. Improvements in nutrition, purification of water supplies and sewerage disposal were responsible for reducing the incidence to its present low level. These measures have however not been put into practice outside the white community in South Africa. Soweto. overcrowded and undernourished, has the highest incidence of rheumatic fever in the world. In 1971 among blacks there were at least 1.500 cases of tuberculosis. More children die from measles in South Africa in three days than in the United States in one year and that country has ten times the population of South Africa Mental health The extent of mental ill-health in South Africa can only be guessed at. The migratory labour system forcibly separating men from their families, means uprootings—over three million people have been moved or are threatened with removal to the "homelands". The frustration caused by legally imposed ceilings on occupational skills and on wages, the deper-sonalisation and feelings of alienation caused by enforced inferior status, the insecurity due to the harassment and repression, and the denial of means of self-expression (political and social activity is banned and prosecuted) destine black South Africans to live in a psychosocial environment of enormous stress. Such an environment has direct and strong implications on the individual's mental well-being. Inequality of health care If it were not enough that the incidence of disease is far greater among blacks, the delivery of health care is aimed at the white community. thus doing little to cure existing disease or to prevent future disease in those most in need of prevention and cure. This can be seen by looking at doctor and nurse population ratios: there is one white nurse for every 256 blacks but one black nurse for every 1,500 blacks; one white doctor, for every 400 whites and one black doctor for every 40,000 blacks. The South African government is doing nothing to alleviate the situation: in 1974 there were 3,838 white medical students but only 220 African medical students. There is also not a single black psychiatrist in South Africa. The care of black mental patients deserves special attention. The South African government has an arrangement with a private company, Smith-Mitchell, whereby the company is subsidised on a per capita basis for the custodial care of the majority of mentally ill blacks—referred to in a government publication as the "sediment of mentally maladjusted persons and deviates." There are over 8,000 blacks, admitted on an involuntary basis, in institutions run by Smith-Mitchell, where the standards of care provided and the living conditions are extremely poor and degrading. The government therefore has a convenient dumping ground for those it chooses to classify as deviates. The unequal distributions of disease and of the means to cure it are direct results of the policy of apartheid. Ill health is a natural and inevitable consequence of South African society. Clearly it must change. Conference In order to discuss this and related issues the Anti-Apartheid Health Committee is convening a one-day national conference entitled "Apartheid of Health" on Saturday, 3rd February to be held in Conway Hall, Bed Lion Square, London. W.C.I. It has been organised with the aim of: —providing up-to-date information about the provision of health care in Southern Africa, —encouraging campaigns to end all forms of links between Britain and South Africa, in the health field which contribute to sustaining the apartheid system. —stimulating support from people for the. liberation struggle in Southern Africa. If anyone is interested in attending the conefrence or would like more information, piease contact: The Anti-Apartheid Health Committee 89 Charlotte Street, London, W.l THE BOAT PEOPLE The captain spoke no word of Vietnamese But this is what the rescued woman said —Translated with a certain stilted ease : "I know that we should now be drowned and dead But for the mercy that you heard our plea And took such pity on our hopeless plight —And stopped your ship to lift us from the sea When we were doomed to drown and sink from sight. No words are there enough in any tongue To thank so good a captain and a crew —For many ships went by as we just clung To life without a buoyant hope in view, With death so near we even thought that we Could see a man—who walked upon the sea." © N. Racine-Jaciucs, 1979 Author's footnote : This sonnet was written in November 1978. Despite the fact that the British mass-media has shewn a complete volte-face towards Vietnam in recent weeks, the tragic plight of "The Boat People" is still with us. 0mmm———mmmmmmmmmmmm NUS Conference PAGE 7 "WE'RE all going on a summer's holiday"—so sang Gerry Kelly in his regular sectarian songspot; however nothing could have been further from a holiday than the last NUS conference at Blackpool. Over the four days of conference the Broad Left dominated executive laid the basis for drastic change in the NUS, centred on the report of the Constitutional Review Body and the debate on the DES proposals on the financing of Student Unions. The CRB was set up to investigate changes in the NUS constitution, and produced both a new draft—(to be debated at the Easter conference) and a report, accepted w:th barely a wlvmper of protect. No v — a few gems from the conjftut'on drafted by the CRB: * After five years existing policy will be deemed to h';ve lapsed, meaning that po!:cy is in effect determined by the constitution and not by conference. * To call an emergency conference at least 25 constituent organisations must submit identical policy, meaning that only political blocks will be able to organise an extraordinary conference. * Yet another sabbatical officer for NUS. * NUS executive members can have a total of six years in office! ! * Conference cannot discuss at Easter topics discussed at December conference unless 50 CO's submit policy! Yet again policy will be determined by the constitution. * A recommendation that all student unions adopt a Student Representative Councils system - much advocated by the FCS! * No mention is made of NUS Womens' Conference which wants policy-making status. All in all, a vicious attack on local democracy, increasing the power of the NUS bureaucracy. Great! HANDS OFF OUR CHEQUE BOOKS — THE DES PROPOSALS Attacks on student union autonomy are on the upsurge, notably the court action taken by Kent University FCS to prevent their union making "ultra-v're.>" payments; an event with very serious implications for all student unions. Despite this, the executive and conference accepted the need for "public accountability"—accountability to anti-student local councillors, with whom students would have to negotiate the proportion of the capitation fee above the sug-ge ted statutory minimum. The argument posed by SWSO was that student unions are accoun- table. but to their members and to the workers not for union expenditure but for fighting against the cuts in education, and for a better education for their kids. OTHER EVENTS Due to the endless constitutional wrangling, and excessive attempts to refer back sections of the Executive Report, two debates (Racism and Fascism, and Housing) were dropped from the agenda. POINTS WORTH NOTING (1) The withdrawal of the Executive from the International Tribunal on the British Presence in Ireland, and the LSE delegation believing —with the exception of Sue Milnthorpe and n'V: elf — that LSE SU support for "republican and socialist forces" in Ireland was more in line with the Peace, Jobs and Progress Campaign, than with supporting the Tribunal and the Provisional IRA! ! (2) Conference's rejection of our attempt to get speaking rights for the Economist Bookshop Strikers. Apparently graduate employment does not concern students-!?! (3) The dubious alliance between the Socialist Students Alliance and the Maoists resulting in some very strange motions. (Enver Hoxha rules OK?). Liz Bail.isz Workers fight low pay ON January 22nd, many thousand workers marched through London demonstrating aginst low pay. This demonstration marked the beginning of a struggle by workers in the public sector to break the 5% pay policy and achieve a living wage. This action takes place against a background of a growing wave cf trade union struggle. Recently Ford workers, bakery workers, journalists, social workers and now lorry' and train drivers have come out solidly against the 5%. The government has enabled the employers to hide behind pay policy in keeping wages down. Sanctions, used to persuade workers to hold down wage demands have been tame to say the least. After the Ford workers won their claim, sanctions were oIFci-ally introduced, but as the • Sunday Times" reported, the grant nven to Fords to build a factory in Bridgend was increased from £40 million to £138 million! Since pay restraint began, 11 vine standards of workers have fallen dramatically. Some hospital workers are taking home £32 for a 40 hour week. Profits, meanwhile, have been maintained by government policy. They have received a boost from pay restraint, and from r - HI tax allowances. subsidies and grants totalling £25 million per day. It is significant that it is not the ' Big Battalions" of workers who are taking action now, but those who in the past were the most exploited. The low paid workers in hospitals and schools, have previously been reluctant to join unions and least enthusiastic to strike. Their real wages have fallen faster than any other group. Since pay restraint began, the gap between manual workers for local authorities and those in industry has grown by 50%. Nearly a quarter of NHS ancilliary staff earn less than £46 and are eligible for Family Income Supplement. The union which has recruited most of these workers, NOPE, has given a fighting lead to its members and fought for a £60 minimum wage and a 35 hour week. The fact that it is the most recently organised workers who are taking action answers all the sceptics, including those in the labour movement who wrote them ofl as too "backward" and "sectionalised" to mount a fight. In the 1926 General Strike students acted as strike breakers, organising scabs and driving buses. Now, students are sympathetic lo the labour movement and willing to support its actions. In the 1974 miners strike student unions gave accomodation to miners moving about the country. Most LSE students have supported the strike at the Economists Bookshop by relus-ing to cross the picket line. Students should support the industrial action of the low paid workers. The strike brings into question the future of the Labour go \ eminent on its present programme. If the government fails to take up the demand of the labour movement for socialist policies it faces defeat by the Tories at the next election. And students can only lose out under a Tory government. Oave Reiii LSE Labour Club A moleseye view IF you want all the boring details —how we voted and how often we went for a piss, ask Sarah Lewth-waite (Liberal Lionesses Rule—or do they?) who wrote lots of notes with ruthless efficiency and impressive bladder control. Becky Bryan (Liberal! was much more fun, though, and introduced us all to the delights of eating coffeemate and the speeding effects of Dodo pills for asthmatics—revealing that she would rather be an Epicurean than a Liberal, and that she once considered joining the IS. Liz Baltesz (Trot) shocked everyone by revealing that she is a SWSO member, whilst I was dis- ciplined for wearing Epicurean stickers and spending money at the Tory badge machine. So much for Libertarianism! Will Richardson ("Libertarian Socialist") voted Broad Left all the way and sat next to Dave Dixon (Labour tankie!) all the time to make sure he got the line right. Dave was very generous in letting us mere observers take it in turns to hold the Delegation Leader card. Debbie Cohen (Labour but reputedly not a tankie), unlike all true Labour hacks, dared to criticize Trevor Phillips before she left. On the last evening SWSO stormed the Broad Left disco but Liz and I failed to get them to adopt the policy of using the fire escape. We returned to the hotel to find that Will and Dave had locked the Militant member of the QMC delegation in their cupboard and were proceeding to smoke him out. Meanwhile Sarah and Becky were desperately trying to get a rabid Liberal ACTS official — notorious for his treatment of the Economists Bookshop strikers — out of their room. The highlights of the last morning were Manchester Poly storming the stage (and removing Colin Campbell — another hack — perhaps for good?) and the Epicureans revealing their bums. A warning to anyone considering standing for next conference, li days is to be spent debating executive proposals for an even less democratic NUS in the form of a wonderful new constitution. And why don't we stand an LSE slate for the Exec next time so that we get a better hotel? Sue Milnthorpe Iranian student beaten up AT 12 am on Wednesday, 12th January, Fariborz Raisdana, a PhD student in the Economics department, was badly assaulted near his house in Finchley Road, almost losing the sight of h s right eye. The six attackers, armed with knuckle dusters, followed Fariborz out of the public house where he had been having a quiet drink and attacked him until they were disturbed by the arrival of one of Fariborz's friends. Taken by ambulance to the Royal Free Hospital, Fariborz was not discharged until the following day, Monday, as there were fears for his eye. Fariborz, who is Iranian, feels that he cannot totally rule out the possibility of it being a political attack. Exiled from his native Iran, he has only been given leave to return there in the last few months. Other dissident Iranians in this country have recently been assaulted in a similar manner. Fariborz believes, however, that the attack was probably purely on racial grounds. Asked about the possibility of claiming compensation he replied that if it were possible : "I wouldn't put it in my pocket — definitely I would give it to an organisation fighting racism." One of the attackers was caught and has been fined £75. Carol Saunders TWENTIETH CENTURY BRITISH POLITICS A seminar for all interested students and staff Jari. 12 Patrick Seyd Jan. 19 Sarah Nelson Jan. 26 Robert Skidelsky Feb. 2 Chris Husbands Feb. 9 Henry Drucker Feb. 16 Gillian Peele Feb. 23 Rosamund Thomas Mar. 2 Robert Boyce Mar. 9 Michael Freeden Mar. 16 Philip Schlesinger Unity and disruption in British political parties. The Press and Northern Ireland. Keynes and politics between the wars. Fascism and the National Front. The Fate of Scottish Nationalism. The state of the Conservatives. Administration and theory in) Britain and America. Economics, internationalism and[ the second Labour Government.^ Tjie New Liberalism. British counter-insurgency thought. RODNEY BARKER ALAN BEATTIE PAGE 8 LONDON A&T^ MUSIC PAUL WATT THIS was a benefit gig for Sid Vicious, the ex-Pistol who, after the split of That Band, was ultimately destined for new heights of lousiness which he managed to achieve with the consummate ease of any true temporarily insane person. Poor old Sid (and Nancy). But never mind about him for the moment; what I want to know is what were those Rolling Stones of the 80s (courtesy of Time Out who are forgiven) actually like on the night. But first . . . The last time I saw the Clash was in an air hangar which was masquerading as a concert-hall, on a rainy night in June, in dim and distant Leeds. The sound then was bad—no, on second thoughts it was hideous (painful to my sensitive ears). Mick Jones soloed and soloed and soloed—this wasn't yer punk rock any more—more a kind of Richie Blackmore's half-hour. Exit one disappointed punker. But this time, at the Music Machine (about bloody time) the sound was clear—you could even pick out the lyrics like ''Wart Rat, I wanna Wart Rat"—dunno what it means though. Jones's soloing was appreciably less and the band playing with all the "girls, guns, guts" directness of yore. The songs had that clipped aspect to them that differentiates the tight and sharp from the drawn-out and tedious. Winners on the night were Tommy Gun (naturally) and Police and Thieves (I liked it). Towards the end of the set assorted members of the audience got on stage to singalongaClash so that by the encore (Wart Rat, of course) The Clash numbered about fifteen (it's amazing how these things grow). The extra eleven members of the band were probably hung, drawn and quartered by the bouncers afterwards who were looking mean. At least The Clash can maintain the image of a people's band with the "audience being up on the stage wiv the band like" even if the reality isn't quite like that. Never mind —the Clash live, despite their obvious musical limitations, still give a great rock 'n' roll show and this was certainly one of them (cynicism is out to lunch). I suppose Sid needs the money anyway. _ Our' Gracie in our darkest hour New Year Honour comes with shame Now that Gracie Fields is Dame. Credit those who fought the day, Not the cowards that ran away. Topsy-turvy honour must Let a doubt upset a trust. Spitfire pilot in disgrace, You have only lost your face. Soldier, limbless, almost dead, Wasting all your life in bed. Sailor, you have fought the fight, But have only lost your sight. Children, injured, sob and scream, But the Blitz was just a dream. Soon will Adolf Hitler be ' Made a Posthumous V.C. © N. Racine-Jaques, 1979 DAME EDNA EVERAGE JAMES GAUSSEN THE SHOW, Piccadilly Theatre HOWEVER funny the occasion, I can normally keep my seat dry throughout the show but, on this occasion, I let myself go completely. After the routine talk from Les Patterson (the Australian cultural attache} and a Deceased Man, on pranced Dame Edna, elegantly dressed in the latest sporting outfit ("I'm heavily into squash, darlings"), who then proceeded to pick on various members of the audience and humiliate and ridicule them for the rest of the evening. Not even this reviewer escaped unscathed. Along with the rest of the members of the upper circle, I was classified' as a pauper. Not that Dame Edna had anything against us "paups" (as she termed us). She generously decided to glance up at us during the show, occasionally, "in strict accordance with what you've paid." Indeed, Dame Edna had a definite egalitarian outlook. "The only difference between you and me," she told the audience, "is that I am rich and talented and you're not!" "Nice dress you're wearing, darling," she told a girl in the front row. "Obviously an old favourite." Partial collapse of audience. Remember you're out!" Universal collapse. Ominously: "I can see there's an element here tonight!" Despite Dame Edna's protestations to the contrary, I did not really feel this was a model family show. These of a sensitive disposition (a small minority of the audience, fortunately) would have baulked at her description of her daughter-in-law, Joylene, and her, shall we say, surroundings. Perceiving that we thought Dame Edna was about to launch into a "highly intimate and sickening description" of What She Saw in Joylene's bathroom, she commented: "Your fears are well-founded!" Finally, several members of the audience had the unique experience of having one of Dame Edna's warm, soft gladdies pressed into their hands. No, this was quite wholesome. "Gladdies", or gladioli, are Australia's national flower. Seeing Dame Edna hurl large quantities of these in the audience provided a fitting end to a memorable (cliche, but it's true) evening. THE ALBUM The Sound of Edna, Charisma Records TO say that Barry Humphries is the most original and talented composer since the Beatles, that sin