TWO EXECUTIVE POSTS OPEN TWO Executive posts are now open following the resignations of (Ehristos Sclavounis (Societies) and Liz Baltesz (Publications). Liz is the latest to resign. According to Julian Ingram, she felt that due to the pressure of academic work, she had to choose between the Executive and SWSO, and decided to put the Party first. Nominations for both posts close on Friday, 17th November. The electoral procedure for positions on the Executive was discussed at last Wednesday's Executive meeting. It was decided that in future candidates should state their preferences for the different j»osts on the ballot form. Will Richardson hoped that this would Help to divide responsibilities according to the interests of the successful candidates, instead of continuing the arbitrary political rarve-up that has occurred in the past. This decision will not take effect until after the coming by-elections. It was also decided to redefine the role of the Publications officer, which has been in question for some time. Ed Walker stated that while the Beaver Collective felt that there was a need for liaison, the Publications Officer should not be in a position to dictate Executive policy to the paper. Will then proposed that the name and function be changed to "Publicity Officer." Apart from liaison with Beaver, this job would entail definite and necessary tasks such as properly publicising Union meetings. BY RODDY HALLIFAX THE Union's Finance Secretary, Tom Bruin, and Angela Craig, his assistant, have both had their resignations accepted by the Executive. Angela is expecting a baby in March and has decided not to take up her job again after the birth. Tom is not leaving for as happy a reason. He has been here for six years and says he has enjoyed working for the Union, mainly because of his associations with students, but the six years of trying to reform the administration of the Union's affairs has exhausted him. While performing his duties as Financial Secretary, he has had the opportunity to observe the full extent of the Union's resources, and feels that it could do a lot more. He sees money and effort misapplied with great enthusiasm on the part of students to put houses in order and to pull motes out of eyes right across the world. SCAN: 'Unity in action' 'WE are building a massive grassroots movement to challenge the racialism of our sick society," Trevor Phillips declared in his opening address to the 300 delegates to the first conference of the Student Campaign Against the Nazis. "Unity is important, but it must "be unity in action, not political statements and structures." Neither of the Carnivals had adopted a political line, and he regretted the criticism of SCAN and of the Anti-Nazi League by those who are not prepared to work together in the battle against racialism. There were, he told delegates, three main tasks for the anti-racist movement; to build a multi-racial society, to support black self-defence —though he stressed that "it is not our role to impose defence, but to offer support to those who are threatened"—and to organise young people in these campaigns. The conference later passed, by a huge majority, a "Plan of Action," in which it resolved to fight discrimination against overseas students, to organise a national conference against racialism in education, to make Student Union resources available to black communities and the anti-racist movement as a whole, and to campaign against police harassment. Despite Trevor Phillips' assertion that the campaign must be broad-based, rather than being associated with any political dogma, the conference also passed a statement opposing all immigration controls, which were described as "inherently racist." Nigel Stanley, of the National Organisation of Labour Students argued that this view was divisive and untenable, but received little support from an audience which Our great, glorious and correct leader. included many members of the Socialist Workers' Students' Organisation. There was also a general discussion about the future direction of the campaign, to which many people contributed, but for the most part ordinary delegates seemed merely spectators at the arena in which the political hacks fought their battles. Much of the debate was Completely irrelevant to the anti-racialist struggle, centred around the merits (or otherwise) of Trotsky's Transitional Programme, and similar examples of academic masturbation. Sarah Lewthwaite and Ed Jacob. while failing to see how much could be done within the Union and the School. He is a principled man, conscientious and very involved in the - responsibility he feels towards the Union, and has for years tried to show the Finance Committee what he sees as being wrong. For instance, the Student Shop made a loss of £513 on a turnover of just over £3,000 in the 12 weeks of the winter term of 1974. Tom recommended to the Finance Committee that much more could be done, both to end the drain of the Shop's deficit on general finances and to serve the students. In spite of appeals and recommendations over the years nothing happened. Yet, since the appointment of Kate last year the shop has developed its business multifold, and in the first week of this term alone had sales of £3,726. Tom believes that sound management of Union trading concerns and efficient application of all Union resources, including the Staff, could greatly improve the service the Union owes to students, yet he finds it hard to persuade the Finance Committee to act decisively. He also feels that the Finance Commitee fails to worry about New stage for Haldane NEGOTIATIONS are going on with the School to obtain a stage and other facilities for the Haldane Room, the new venue for ENTS. Steve Bradbury said that the School had agreed to a stage of about 20 blocks and a cover. New lights will also be installed, but there is still the question of a P.A. As yet it is not known when these alterations will be completed. At present, the lighting is in the control of the building surveyor. how the wishes of the Union general membership are carried out. His view is that since the Union has chosen a system as a Committee Executive rather than a Presidential one, it should use its committees effectively, ensuring they participate carefully in decision making. He believes that . Union affairs should be run profession-, ally and according to some measure of basic commercial principles, at least avoiding losses in trading. He suggests a stronger affirmation of the constitutional subordination of the Finance Committee — which seems at times to think it is an autonomous body—to the Executive, probably by making it into a Finance Sub-committee. Tom's ideas reflect his dedication to the welfare of the Union, over six years of hard work, much of it in fields that would normally be considered far outside the job description for Financial Secretary. He is not ready to retire from work yet, but after six years here he says he would like a rest. Angela will be missed by everyone who has ever had to claim for Society budgets. She has been a financial credit to the Union in her two years at L.S.E. The Union would like to wish them both well in the future. THE Three Tuns is now offering a selection of rolls, sausages, pies etc at lunch-times and in the evening. There is now a coffee machine in the games room (right next door to the Three Tuns) offering coffee, tea (with / without etc), beef soup and hot chocolate. You can also buy drinks in the Three Tuns, cigarettes, play pool, table football, break-out or pinball and there is of course a juke-box. BAR MANAGEMENT COMMITTEE P.S.: If you have any objections, suggestions or recommendations the next bar committee meeting is on Tuesday, November 12th at 3 pm. NEWSPAPER OF THE LSE 14th NOV., 1978 ISSUE No. 175 FINANCE STAFF DEADLOCK IN SHOP DISPUTE STAFF at the Econor lists' Bookshop, now well into the second month of strike action would like to thank all the stude its who have helped both by boycotting the shop and manning the picket line, An informal meeting with the Advisory Conciliation and Arbitration Service took place on Friday, 3rd November, but no recommendation was made. A-deadlock had been, reached and no compromise was possible. ACAS has. however, declared that there is reason why the assistants on one of a company's premises should not be recognised as a union negotiating group, thus demolishing the management's only real argument against recognition. The manager, Gerald Bartlett. claimed in a comment pub.ished in "The Bookseher that the effect of the strike and boycott has been "trivial." This is laughable in view of the fact that in the first week alone till sales are known to have been down to £1.400 from an average of between £5-6000 for the same period last year. The sales figures, to be published jn the next few days, will show whether the eaeet of a six-week strike really has been "trivial. The staff are determined to obtain the basic democratic right to collective organisation through a trade union. They are fighting to win and have invested much time, energy and lost wages to do so. Your continued Support can ensure their success. LABOUR CLUi ELECTIONS IN this year's Labour Club elections, held at a packed meeting last Thursday, the officerships were won by Pam Philby (Chairperson). Ed Jacob (Secretary) and Steve Dawson (Treasurer), who stood on a practical platform, dealing with matters affecting the LSE and the local community. Although many members had expected a close fight, the winning candidates achieved almost 75% of the. votes cast, decisively beating the opposing. Militant slate, who stood on a platform ot' "Marxist ideas and a Socialist programme." After the meeting, which was attended by more than 70 people, newly-elected Secretary Ed Jacob announced his intention to unite the Club around a programme of "actively campaigning on the problems which directly concern students. And Simon Cole, the defeated Militant candidate for the same post, who had previously said that he had "a good chance of winning." declared that he was prepared to work with others to "build the Labour Club, and fight for a Socialist society." David Darton, 'BITCHINESS' A poem for the Archbishop of Can-1 terbury which was written on reading a report in The Times of October 27 th last that "The-Church Commissioners, whose £300m of shares put them among Britain's biggest investors, will continue to invest in companies with South African interests . . ." NEAR THE CAPE OF GOOD HOPE Watch as Jesus turns the table At the moneylender's head. Sit with Jesus at the table —Drink the wine and eat the bread. Walk with Jesus on the Table Mountain standing by itself. Hear His voice if you are able —"Love thy neighbour as thyself. . Would our Lord then turn the table On apartheid's ugly spread ? Yes, for it would .then enable —Love to conquer hate instead . . . © N. Racine-Jaques, 1978 Union meetings have become a farce. They merely serve as a means of petty back-biting and bitchiness. So little policy has emerged as to make a nonsense of any force the Union ciaims to have. It is time for the Union to take a united stand. Will was only partly right when he claimed that first-years were bored and disillusioned with the meetings, for many first-years have not been to one single meeting. To these political eunuchs, take care before you are forced to wear shorts. It is also pathetic that no meeting has been quorate this term (for those who don't know, at least 150 people present) when there are 3,500 members. It is time for the Union to take a stand on major policy not just via the N.U.S. For too long students have been second-class citizens. It is time now to fight the D.E.S. proposals and the anomalies of the Rents Act. Without policy, the Union is nothing. The Union will not die from external pressure but from apathy within. Steve Mogano * I (I vtfMf/S THB SPkct of Your thought? vftiAT te Sour GREATEST &OCP? ¦ SE/O AL pleasure wm Wf/Af is /ooR PHILOSOPHY? The trios TOST I FY' THE Means placs, mine ? % i BEAVER FOOD by Katy Van Haeften HUTSPOT THIS is an old Dutch recipe, usually eaten in winter-time, and can be served with or without the meat. Ingredients: 31bs. carrots lib. onions 31bs. potatoes parsley 2,Ubs. boiling beef. Method. Cover beef in water, season xvith salt and pepper, h onion and parsley. Cook slowly for 1! hours. Slice carrots finely and cook in boiling salted water. Add finely chopped onions. Add potatoes or boil separately. Drain the vegetables and mash together with a spoonful of liquid from the meat. Serve with mustard. Traditionally served with beer. Another poem for the Archbishop of Canterbury written on the same theme . . . TEMPTATION ON TABLE MOUNTAIN Devil's Peak upon the Mountain Looks across so False a Bay Twelve Apostles by the Mountain See no Danger Point that way. Signal Hill upon the Mountain Leads the Head of Lion astray. Simonstown so near the Mountain Keeps the Roman Rock at bay. Tears that flow upon the Mountain Form the River Salt today. Acquiescence on the Mountain Profits from the shares that pay. © N. Racine-Jaques, 1978 PULP (Manchester Poly) STUDENTS at Manchester Poly, frustrated by ten years of negotiations with college authorities over the provision of proper nursery facilities, occupied their main administration block from the 16th October. Director of the Poly, Sir Alex Smith, agreed two years ago that a nursery should be provided, but nothing has been done as yet. The students feel that they cannot be accused of not trying through proper channels and that they are fully justified in resorting to direct action. JAVELIN (Bradford University) Javelin reporters Charlie Unsworth and Lesley Shaw found themselves under arrest after a recent visit to Ulster. Returning from a trip to the province, organised by the Socialist Students' Alliance, they were held by the Special Branch under the provisions of the Prevention of Terrorism Act. The reporters had notes, intended to form the basis of an article on the political situation in the six counties, confiscated and not returned. Unrepentant, the two reporters intend to write the proposed article anyway. LAST EDITION (Oxford Poly) Last Edition reports that one Terence Buss, former lecturer at Teesside Poly, was recently fined £400 for pretending to have an honours degree. He was only caught out, it seems, when he applied for a similar job at Oxford Poly. Last Edition, like Beaver, carries a "Quote of the Week" section. One recent statement particularly caught my eye. John Patton (Tory candidate for Oxford) is reported as saying of Margaret Thatcher: "She's the best man we've got." Yes, well. FLY (Portsmouth Poly) Eddie Longworth appears to have upset students at Portsmouth Poly t» such an extent that they are considering legal action against him. In an interview on local radio station Plymouth Sound, Eddie described-' PPSU as using "Fascist bully-boy tactics" to stop students forming a union branch of FCS, basing his comments oa the strength of two incidents. The first involved a dispute over space for a freshers' stall. The Poly's executive ruled that outside bodies such as FCS were not entitled to stalls, but thab Conservative students at the Poly could: It seems that Tory students, unlike students in ULS, did not take up this option. The second involved the taking down of FCS posters. The Executive at the Poly ruled that similarly, since FCS was not a Union society, only posters relating to recruitment (encouraging-students to join the Poly's branch), could be allowed to remain. Since these rulings have not just been-applied to Conservatives the President/, s Pete Embling, feels that Eddie made his comments without knowing the full facts, and certainly without approaching the Union. The matter is now resting with ths Union's solicitors, pending a decision from the Union floor. Carol Saundm PAGE 3 AFTER BENYON By Peter Whitehead SN the period which has elapsed since the Parliamentary defeat of (the controversial Benyon Bill, aspiring to subject abortion to greater control, the whole issue of Abortion Law Reform has been shelved until the next interested M.P. draws a sufficiently high place in the Private Members' Ballot to be able to introduce a Bill into the legislative machinery. The present lull in hostilities affords each side (those favouring freer abortion, and those against) an opportunity for detached consideration of the relative merits of their cases. Before the Abortion Act of 1967 provided for free abortion under the N.H.S., subject to a number of conditions, the law relating to this subject was to be found in s.58 of the Offences Against The Person Act of 1861, which made abortion a felony. The Infant Life (Preservation) Act, 1929 permitted abortion ,jn order'to save the mother's iife, and two subsequent court cases .brought the law further into line ¦with medical practice. Under growing pressure from the increasingly vociferous women's groups and mounting public interest the reformist Parliament of the mid-1960s eventually produced a legalising Bill. The Bill was thought necessary to relieve the suffering of the thou-nnds of women who sought illegal abortions every year, these women being subjected to dangerous and humiliating treatment at great cost to both their health and their purse. Hardly a word was said at any stage in Parliament as to the demographic implications of such a measure. Throughout the last hundred years the crude birth rate in Britain has been steadily falling. Birth control methods of some kind have therefore grown in importance over this period. It is known that legal abortions in 1967 (pre-Act) amounted to just over 27,000, to which can be added an estimated 70,000 illegal abortions (actual figures are not known owing to the clandestine nature of abortion practices before 1967). This total of around 100,000 abortions per year immediately before the operation of the Act can be compared to the total of 116.200 legal abortions carried out in 1972. after the Act had been in force for over four years. Prom these figures it can be deduced that a vast majority of the legal abortions performed in 1972 would have taken place regardless of the legal status of the operation. Although abortion is virtually a universal practice, research suggests that it is more readily resorted to in societies where the population is undergoing a rapid increase in size, and some means of birth control is found to be essential. This need, which impresses itself on individuals in the form of socio-economic hardship, could be met by contraception. as? However, the demographic transition from a rising and uncontrolled birthrate to a controlled rate took ¦place in this country at a time when contraceptive technology was unable to meet this-demand for a reduction in the rate of reproduction. This resulted in the termination of pregnancies assuming such a role, whether or not such terminations were technically legal. In recognising that abortion practices are a spontaneous reaction to situations calling for control of the birth-rate, it becomes clear that by simply declaring abortion to be illegal little change in behaviour can be expected. If this is the case, it becomes extremely difficult to justify the denial of proper facilities to women seeking a termination of their pregnancy. However, it must also be said that statistics reveal an alarming need for the promotion of greater public awareness on the subject of contraception, this latter course leaving the conscience at greater ease. TRUE BLU IN-FIGHTIN By James Gaussen IT was not very long ago that there were rumours of a "reconciliation" between Mrs Margaret Thatcher and Mr Edward Heath. Mrs Thatcher was believed to be considering Mr Heath for the post of Shadow Foreign Secretary. Today, despite the retirement of Mr John Davies making another Shadow Cabinet reshuffle inevitable, Mr Heath looks as though he has more chance of being offered a job by Mr Callaghan than by the Tories. What has gone wrong? It is, after all, Labour which is the party traditionally renowned for infighting, backbiting and public bitching. The Tories are supposed to conduct their affairs in a "gentlemanly" fashion, concealing every disagreement. STEPHEN CAINE interviews the National Secretary of P.R.O.P. The public & prisons "THE only way you can get information out of prisons is to smuggle it," confesses Geoff Coggan, the national secretary of the prisoners' movement Prop. With the secrecy which now surrounds Britain's prisons, Prop's information network is a major channel of communication for inmates and as an organisation founded by ex-prisoners it is in a position to secure their confidence. To make the public fully aware of the abuses being suffered in our prisons is one of Prop's principal aims. * The recently announced legal action against officers at Hull prison serves as an example. After the riots there in 1976 the Home Office refused a public enquiry into its causes. Prop established its own public enquiry to reveal the grievances of the prisoners. The present prosecutions are largely a result of its revelations. The use of drugs for disciplinary rather than medical purposes is now a major issue. Again Prop's main weapon is publicity. In its' newspaper it prints letters from prisoners relating their contact with drugs. "It seems to be the standard procedure," writes a prisoner in Gartree, "to completely drug the mind to a State where one cannot think properly at all and turn the patient into a vegetable-like being, and no matter if you complain about the treatment it's not changed, just raised in quantity so as you no longer have the sense or ability to complain that the drugs prescribed are not helping you but completely wiping out your whole make-up.'' The problem is again secrecy. Prop wishes to see the prisons' medical services opened up, integrated into the NHS system and so under the surveillance of local health authorities. As it now stands the Home Office uses the reputation of the medical profession to gloss over medically unethical practices. Important as these issue are, Prop does not simply see itself as a reform group with the narrow aims of making prison life more comfortable. In fact, it is in the most modern prisons where the full scope of technology is brought to bear on treatment that the deprivation of inmates can be most extreme. To campaign against such practical issues as overcrowding, lack of facilities and so on would logically lead to a campaign to build more prisons. Prop's fundamental aim, however, is to educate public opinion on the harmful effects of the prison system. Geoff Coggan puts it: "Suppose you had a hospital which sent out 74% of its patients worse than when they went in it you'd do something about it." But in fact the recidivism rate in England and Wales is precisely 74% (and in Scotland is over 90%) and most people are convinced of the need for more prisons to fight increasing crime. The example of Holland perhaps indicates that these people are deluded. Some years back it took the decision to deliberately reduce its prison population by two-thirds. Britain, with an overall population four times larger than that of Holland, now has twelve times as many people in prisons than do the Dutch. Yet on a comparative basis both countries have very similar crime rates. The conclusion is that prisons are ineffective as a deterrent. "By concentrating, as the law-and-order people do all the time ¦ . . people don't want to look elsewhere, because if you do look elsewhere you realise that you have to change the whole of society." Prisons must be seen as a symptom of faults in society as a whole. The conditions inside our prisons are a reflection of the dominant attitudes outside. They can only be understood in the context of crime and its causes, and, in turn, in the wider sociological perspective. Prop may be contacted at 103a Brackenbury Road. Hammersmith, London W6. This Tory tradition has not been upheld because neither Mrs Thatcher nor Mr Heath are traditional Tories. Mrs Thatcher is not traditional because she is a woman, a species previously unacknowledged in the Party's hierachy; Mr Heath, because he has an awkward habit of saying what he thinks out loud. Both of them come from lower middle-class backgrounds, and have chips on their respective shoulders (for instance, they have both attempted to "improve" their voices by going to an elocutionist, in each case with disastrous results). And both of them are cold fish. Although it is fashionable to regard Mrs Thatcher as the Right-wing ideologue and Mr Heath as the middle-of-the-road pragmatist and statesman, neither description is entirely accurate. Mrs Thatcher is obviously a right-winger at heart, but her views stem from the guts rather than the head. She will heartily applaud Sir Keith Joseph when he talks about the need to prevent the lower classes from breeding too much, but she often doesn't have a clue what the poor old booby is talking about when he starts on about the money supply, M3 not equalling the sum of the government deficit (etc.) Indeed, so far as practical policies go, Mrs Thatcher has been studiously vague. She has made ringing declarations against incomes policies, state intervention, criminals, black people, the working class, and other undesirable aspects of Britain today. On the other hand, she has made it murkily clear that even a Conservative government with a landslide majority could not abolish all these manifestations of a decadent society overnight. Whereas Mr Heath has made it frighteningly obvious as to what policies he would pursue, given the chance. Lots of participation in the oh-so-wonderful Common Market (which Mrs T. is distinctly cool about), permanent incomes policies, corporate State policies—in short, the policies of 1973-74 which, to put it mildly, were not conspicuously successful. In other words, Mr Heath is hardly a pragmatist. He is exceptionally stubborn and obstinate, with an overwhelming belief that he is always right. On the rare occasions, when he changes his mind, however, the change is dramatic. He used to be — until 1972 as much against State intervention and compulsory wage controls as Mrs Thatcher is today, describing them as detrimental to liberty, economic folly and so on. Paradoxically, despite the evident friendliness of certain union officials towards Heath, it seems probable that the TUC would get on better with a Thatcher administration than a Heath one. After all, the Unions are constantly calling for free wage bargaining above all else. Mrs Thatcher is sympathetic to this. Mr Heath is not. Mr Heath thinks his future career depends upon the Conservatives losing the next election. In such circumstances, he feels, they might turn to him as their saviour, repentant. In fact they would denounce him as a traitor who lost them the election, just as Mr Heath regarded Enoch Powell in 1974. But should Mrs Thatcher win, Mr Heath will be relegated to Enoch Powell's role as the embittered outsider, sulking on the sidelines, popular in the country but shunned by his former colleagues. In either eventuality, he would be wise to start writing some more books. How about "How No» Succeed in Politics" tv- PAGE 4 SER ON LA W Q. i was walking home at about 2 a.m. last week, with my girlfriend, when a policeman stopped and asked me for my name and address and where t was going. I told him 1 was going home and made a move to leave. He then told me that he wanted to search me on suspicion of possession of drugs. That really scared me, so II let him search and when he found nothing he let me go. Did he have any right to question and search me like that ? A. A policeman can stop you and ask for your name and address if he has reasonable suspicion that you have committed or are about to commit a crime. In many cases refusal to give these details may lead to arrest. As for being stopped and searched, the general rule is* that police may not search you unless you have been arrested. One of the exceptions to this rule is the suspicion of possession of drugs. So as long as he had reasonable suspicion he was entitled to search. By the way, had you tried to prevent him from searching you you would have been arrested for obstructing an officer in the execution of his duty. Q. A certain book company is continually sending me their magazines, plus all kinds of books from flower arranging to car maintenance, and then sending me all kinds of invoices for payment. Sending these back is costing me a fortune in postage. How do I stop them from sending me this stuff, and do I have to pay ? A. You have two alternatives, either you write to them telling them that these books are "unsolicited" and that you don't want them. This notice means that the company has 30 days to collect them—at their own expense. There is no reason why you should pay for the postage. If they have not been picked up after this time, the books are yours. The other course is to keep the books in a safe place for six months. If they have not been collected by them, they become your property. Remember this advice is only accurate if you have hot ordered the books: Q. I am living in a Hall of Residence. I pay a high rent and for the past three weeks painters have been fixing up the building. When they came to my bedroom I was still in bed and refused to let them in. Now I have received a letter telling me that I must allow the painters to enter. Can I take the hall to the Rent Tribunal and do I have to let the painters into my room ? A. Under the 1974 Rent Act you can't go to a Rent Tribunal if you are an "unprotected tenant." Included in the categories of the unprotected tenants are "halls of residence or other accommodation provided for students by an educational institution." So it might be better for you to find cheaper accommodation in the private sector. As for your second point, whether protected by the Rent Act or not, a landlord has the legal obligation to carry out repairs for the structure and exterior of the premises. In addition the agreement you signed with the hall includes the provision that the landlord should have the right to enter for the purposes of repairs and decoration. You must eventually allow them access. Sharon Ser. GREKT BORES of LSE IPEHmY CRISIS ¦*ht ANT/ - Anti- Anti-, kjovm - INJ iNfO "TO ©0(eo' gCKS-MTOKjVAr^AlNI rUi$ M0f\£ PJ?i6P PEPr> WlG&ES on ST/0 K'E ALL GAUSSENi GAITERS JACKBOOT LASHES UNION DRAMA BIO THE recent decision by LSE's Union not to ratify the newly-formed Society for the propagation of Outworn Cliches and Mixed Metaphors (SPOCM) has caused a predictable angry reaction from the organisation's founder, Chairperson and sole member, Mr Jack Boot. "By this decision," he lashed, "the Union hacks have flung the gauntlet into the melting pot. They have, as usual, grabbed the thin end of the bargepole and are beating the two birds in the bush with it." Mr Boot feels that he has been taken for a ride in an applecart and that too many union hacks have spilt the milk on stony ground. Admitting - that, as yet, the grass roots had not raised their voices in protest, he said that this was merely '"the lull before the cows come home to roost, while they wait for their chickens to hatch in one basket." In reply, Mr Julian Ingrammati-cal (sic), Senior Treasurer, conceded that refusing to ratify SPOCM had "put the cat among the albatrosses," but maintained that "you can't make a silver lining out of a sow's ear" and that "if Mr Boot can't stand the heat he should get out of the soup." TALKING POINT(LESS) Many people have asked me recently if I would be prepared to join the Anti-Nazi League's latest offshoot "People who write Silly Articles for Student Newspapers Against the Nazis." I have politely declined. In addition, I have refused to join: "Abba Fans who hate the Brotherhood of Man (the pop group that is, not the concept) Against the Nazis," "Trendies, Opportunists and Hacks Against the Nazis," "Left-wing Fascists Against the Nazis," "People Who Are Not Prepared to Do Anything Against Fascism, but like Wearing Little Yellow Badges Against the Nazis," "Ice-cream vendors Against the Nazis," or even "Monday Club members Against the Nazis" (this latter group is believed to be the only organisation in the world with a nil membership). The reason I have refused to join any of the above groupettes is, quite simply, that I am already a paid-up member of the "Ordinary, boring, middle-class heterosexual White Males (Who Think the Anti-Naai League is a Pretentious Sham) Against the Nazis" group. The only condition of membership of this organisation, for those interested, is that one is not allowed to sport one's conscience in the form of labels, badges, posters, stickers or other gaudy paraphernalia; nor is one allowed to join any of the ludicrous stereotyped groups like the ones mentioned above. tlo _ HDtlzSTL-y IM WT A tjket J>ST TU; ffvirrfers TVPsrJTS As Tl&rS^'/ sAiD aN£si 6>& WAs T 3VUM IN6&AM TW? Sc^oG&s oC WotZrUiM Hl&ti sobou- Fog Ear's /.(xfrVA/ An- THIS CeNfs&NCp gusirigss its jUsr AN S)/C\JS£ TO (JsT P IHUJL/Sr^ VovC SgZutL. PANTAS/2S I TUlNi^ -ftMS HA£> cAu- A WtT Mst.Readers Airport at Strand Hous )' ' -went so FAR AS to visit T*f= said Strand house ua«\RY U - the work done DM INTe&RATlMS IT INTO THE TUQE" SYSTEM WAS VERY APPARENT-... FLOOR: SOCIOLOGY, Psycho log. y, SOOAl PSYCHO UXV/ /excuse ME, -IT _______ . / ARE YOU l l LOOKING, P0R * TWF WAY-OUT v. TOO? THEN #\£A/N, (P we cuAtOie- AT 3 a STAIRCASE, AND So DOUJNTo S^ON 23, Ue'3> G-eTTneRf aatckes.-.. ... maybe- * ^ ^^t'NAT/o/V WER BoU/v/j) >*€i/ fMx*. HAS CUM! Or*ft U>T-^ ot*>> vAnrtMr1 Mi FX TENSION "W**' H^ouyiitJ 4 STi^JJC HNUifc ftCpUf/OH IN!.6HQ)-OOt'8S w t>UC£ lM\TlpiUS ! .... TlNt? _.—3*- iP]feffi»i X r^Is 1-r Ttfue H*. Mi TKAT VOU /*M) HHfl AW «¦¦¦ T<^ ¦¦ j? L" r~y/:v I TFs^SH RNKJOUNCGMeMT •• All R left Radio One. Complaints fall on deaf ears. They play another Simon and Garfunkel! We threaten not to pay them if they play it again — so they play Paul Simon instead. 9.30 p.m.: The party is going well . . . wine is everywhere. I think of the platform at Holborn again, but resolved to spend the evening chain-smoking instead — cancer is slower than electrocution — anyway my feet ache too much to walk up to Holborn. 10.30 p.m.: ENTS pack-up — but no one notices — and in fact the party looks Up. Finally even the most hardy leave — even offer help to clear up —> and some even say the-" enjoyed it. My faith In human nature having been restored, I grab my coat and dash for the last train on the Central Line. Sharon King Our next gig Jam's agony column TT,r,T r T ¦___ t___ ; _ O nnt.ft w, ft ft flinr, liC Blast furnace (Pic. by Paul Slattery). ON Saturday, 25th November, The Bishops and Blast Furnace and the . . . will be playing in the Haldane Room. Tickets are £1.50 and cheap at the price. Honest. As Sennet says, "Blast Furnace and the . . . (something not unrelated to persistent hot weather) prove that you can still get high on a shot of rhythm and blues without being born on the wrong side of the Mississippi." (Come back, Andy, all is forgiven!). With Skid Marx (no relation) and Mr Furnace, a.k.a. Charles Shaar Murray and a cast of thousands, sometimes on Tuesdays, they seem destined for higher things; a fact possibly not unrelated to be favourable, particularly in the league and the cup, the U.A.U. results have left a" lot to be desired. The first series of U.A.U. games against Sussex, at New Maiden, ended up with both the 1st and 2nd XI's being defeated 2-0, which was rather disappointing in view of the recent good form of the teams. Obviously the results were disappointing and even Ronnie Patterson, the club captain, described them as a "bit grim." However the day did contain some humour, in the fact that a number of the 1st and 2nd XI players were later to be seen in the bar in a partial state of undress doing various exercises into a beer glass. To say that the second series of U.A.U. games away to Surrey were worse, would be an understatement, all three sides being defeated (no further comment being passed). 1st XI 6—2. 2nd XI 5—0. 3rd XI 4—2. However, whilst these results have been disappointing, in the U.L.U. Cup, both the 1st and 2nd XI's won 5-1, and are now in the last 16 of this competition, and all the sides continue to do well in the league, particularly since the return of the new slim-line 1st XI captain Ronnie Patterson, formerly known as "Fatti Patti." However it does appear now that Derek Thomas is also suffering from a similar complaint as formerly suffered by Ronnie and he will undoubtedly have to follow the same course of treatment, i.e., go training (Derek, please note). Latest results : 1st XI v. London Hospital (A) won 4-1. 2nd XI v. Kings College (A) won 5-4. Friendly—L.S.E. 5th XI (Cosmos) v. L.S.E 4th XI won 8-1. A FOOTBALLERS HARD LIFE EVERY Monday the occupants of the Teaching Library are rudely awakened from their slumber by the shrieks and moans from the gym. To their horror they realise that yet another session of football training has begun. Theory: football training makes people fit to play. Fact:, it makes them fit to drop. The trainer tries to motivate them by screaming, bellowing and pleading, but the combined genius of more than a dozen of the LSE's finest is beyond even him. These lads spend most of their week in thought — how to skive. If their tutors could only appreciate how they calculate and scheme, working out the probability functions of being caught and the pain level functions of the subsequent punishment. Carefully issued instructions and demonstrations can be misunderstood every week. A press-up can toe done in two stages: shoulders tip, then arse up, arse down then shoulders down, and only prime numbers count when the tally is Biore than ten. The secret of stretching is to go as far as one can without it hurting, and if something looks complicated, act stupid. The greatest discovery these intrepid lads have made is that the trained can't see people behind him. Among these anguished faces we find the football club captain, who waddles around the gym complaining about a sore ankle, knee, brain, etc. The first-team captain puts on a brave face, but it is evident that he prefers taking his exercise in bed. The start striker jogs around haughtily knowing he won't even break sweat, so he doesn't bother trying. Another member of the group is there to gain a less curvacious form and a resemblance of fitness, and his enthusiastic effort is only rewarded with complete exhaustion. Finally, there is the beloved sadist/trainer who drives these poor devils to drink . . . orange juice (how awful). His diabolical circuits and excruciating exercises are a scourge, yet in a spirit of true masochism, these lads when training has ended, buy him a pint in the bar and let him win at pool. As the evening draws to a close, is once more still, and the football club ready to meet the opposition. A bit grim Ron AU BLUES by The President AFTER a rather dismal showing by the LSE Athletic Union except women's netball) against Surrey University in the UAU competition, a number of old hands stayed on to participate in the hospitality of Surrey University's Union bar. Having obtained two uninitiated first years to take part in a "blow football" tournament, the game had to be abandoned due to typical English weather . . . a downpour. Many other games were enjoyed by all, particularly the three man lift on an unsuspecting Surrey person from north of the border. The fallen LSE team returned to the Three Tuns amidst a vast repertoire of family singalongs. SQUASH flari Drane THE season started well in terms of interest in the teams and in ladies' squash. The team's performances have been handicapped by a lack of practice time, but most importantly the overall standard of the team has increased. At the moment we are trying to arrange some squash films. They will cover all the basic aspects of the game, and will therefore be of particular importance to people wishing to improve their squash. The proposed dates are : Wed., Nov. 29th 7-9, in C018. Thur., Nov. 30th 1-2, in C.018 There will be notices confirming this near the date in prominent places around the School. Ladies' squash club has organised a coach for beginners on Wednesdays, starting at 2.10. Please sign on the squash notice board. There is also ladies' squash on Fridays starting at 2.50 for those who have played before. Any enquiries, please ring Ian Drane at Carr-Saunders. RUGBY Matt Kirby FIRST for the good news:' the 1st XV beat Sussex 13-11 and Gareth has washed • his jock-strap. The bad news is that the 1st and 2nd XV lost fairly heavily against Surrey University, due to the unlucky injury to players and to Surrey having better rugby teams. We beat them in the singing however. Congratulations to David "I've got muscles where others haven't" Cairns and John "get the match abandoned'' Maxey for being selected for the University of London rugby team. Finally condolences to Pete Hyde who has his arm in a sling owing to a shoulder injury &nd is getting softer wrist muscles as a result. Condolences also to Richard Mooney who came out in sympathy with Pete, which Roil thought "was a bit grim". HOCKEY Lydia Lidbury WELL, they have finally bullied-oflJ The women hope to have their first fixture this Wednesday coming against St George's Hospital Medical School at home, and the mixed who have had their last two fixtures cancelled, hope to play on the 19th. Any other players who wish to join us, please feel welcome as we cater for all standards, should get in touch with Lydia Lidbury through the A.U. office (E65). You can be assured that it won't be *a bit grim Ron!" TENNIS THE tennis club has obtained ten-his courts at New Maiden L.T.C, on Wednesday afternoons. If anyone is interested in playing would they please make sure that they attend as regularly as possible. Any enquiries . . . please ring Ian Drane at Carr-Saunders. "IH£ WO |_0f4C i-r. i cfr&i txZAui <£A&6ifS & %> 0 1 V Too ^evjNCr f"b oiE^ \ . 7 Pi'inted by Ripley Printers Ltd., Ripley, Derby. Published by London School of Economics and Political Science, Students' Union, St Clement's Buildings, Claremarket, London, WC2A 2AE.