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Photo: flickr user nef_summit
Elected Officials consulted on fees review
Shibani Mahtani
Elected students' union officials from London universities consulted with Lord Browne, former chair of BP, who is in charge of the government fees review panel earlier yesterday.
LSESU General Secretary Aled Dilwyn Fisher was invited to a meeting with Lord Browne regarding the fees review, calling for evidence for the review.
The government launched a review of Higher Education Funding and Student Finance several weeks ago led by Lord Browne, former chair of BP.
Commonly referred to as the 'fees review', it is meant to be 'independent' and will report back after the next General Election. The National Union of Students (NUS) is not included in consultation on the fees review and the only student on the panel is the Chair of the British Youth Council (BYC). The chair was forced to
resign from his position in order to give input that was 'independent' enough.
In a round table discussion with Lord Browne and two other members of the review panel, the Vice-Chancellor of Aston University and the former BYC Chair, students brought up the issue of fees as a financial barrier to education.
The fact that education is increasingly seen as a means to an end rather than a means in itself was something that was also discussed. Students also felt that information for prospective students and poor and patchy, since not enough information comes from students experiencing life at a particular university.
Students believed that the provision of student finance is unfair as itris handled by individual institutions. A National Bur-saiy Scheme, as suggested by NUS, would ensure that those who need financial support and given it, rather than the lottery that currently exists.
Fisher said: "I welcome the opportunity to feed into the fees review, and I hope
the review takes the views of all students across the country seriously. The review also needs to make sure that it consults NUS and does not try to side-step our national representatives. The collection of students the panel brought together this morning was unrepresentative of the wider student population - we were all male, from London, and generally from research-intensive universities."
He added: "We must oppose any raise in fees and ensure that the panel consider alternatives that ensure a well-funded, accessible and high quality higher education system. Education is a right, not a privilege; no one should be barred from university by financial constraints, and higher education should be supported strongly by government funding. All political parties need to commit to ensuring funding for the entire education system, and opposing cuts to this vital public service."
Representatives were told that there would be further opportunities to discuss the review.
The Beaver
8 December 2009 Newspaper of the London School of Economics Students' Union
thebeaveronline.co.uk
The Wetz Side Story:. Annual Budget Meeting
Phyllis Lui
The Annual Budget Meeting (Budget Meeting) was held last Thursday in place of the Union General Meeting (UGM) where the Media Group budget was voted against by those in attendance.
As mandated in section 2.5 of the Codes of Practice, the Budget Meeting was held in the ninth week of Michaelmas Term, where the LSESU's income and expenditure were presented by LSESU Treasurer George Wetz and voted on by the students in attendance.
In light of the re-organisation of staff within LSESU and collaboration with the Students Union of the University of the Arts London (SUARTs), Wetz began by stating that there were one-off costs associated with the changes, and that was also reflected in his report: "This year's budget title reflects two fundamental changes to the Students' Union: its re-organisation and the implementation of new financial control procedures. The re-organisation has presented the largest single change to the Students' Union over the past two decades, with the result being to shift the focus of Union resources towards membership services: student activities, engagement, representation and welfare."
Further, it was stated: "It is estimated that £170,000 was spent on legal fees, human resources consulting, tribunals and severance payments. The outcome of this process has shown that these costs were more than worthwhile."
According to the budget presented at the UGM, staff salaries rose from £44,965 to £83,250 in activities, due to an increase in staff.. Although Wetz mentioned the outsourcing of the back-office functions to a firm, Charity Business, and that the onsite finance operations "will focus on managing finance, leading to more effective and efficient use of Union funds", the Beaver had reported earlier this term that there were issues with staff wages that led to late payment. Wetz noted, however, that the issue regarding late payments arose before Charity Business was imple-
mented.
Wetz also stressed that the sabbatical officers' wages has been frozen, even when they were entitled to an 8 per cent increase that was lobbied for by the University and College Union (UCU).
Questions were raised about what "Subscriptions" meant, why £2000 were allocated to referenda, as well as how the £32,000 spent on NUS benefits us. In response to the subscriptions, Wetz believed that they are necessary "so we can keep in touch with what's going on with student movements and politics around the country". He also believed that because of the importance the upcoming referenda will have on the LSESU's governance structure, the £2000 is justified.
As for NUS affiliation, Wetz explained that there's a bulk-buying system which means that the LSESU "makes back what we pay".
Concerns were raised about the Media Group budget, in particular the Beaver's budget. Before the Media Group budget was presented in detail, a student asked Wetz why the Beaver's budget is triple the other Media Group members' budget.
Wetz responded that the amount should be worth it as long as it helps the student body and their development, which is how money should be invested.
However, when another student, Eve Guterman, asked whether the LSESU should have some say in the matter of the Beaver's coverage since they provide the financial means, Wetz agreed with the student and stated that the Beaver's editorial independence was up for discussion in the upcoming reforms.
Editor of the Beaver, Shibani Mahtani, said in response: "I believe our readers are misjudging our purpose if they believe we should be tied closer to the Students' Union. As we see it, we serve to represent the multitude of views and voices on campus, and we believe we have done this effectively over the past years. It would be a shame to take away editorial responsibility from those that have been elected to do precisely that, and those that spend hours making sure that they are on the pulse of what is going on at LSE and
around the world."
Another question was also raised about whether the LSESU should scale back on pages of the Beaver.
In his report, Wetz wrote that: "The Beaver has yet to be allocated its printing budget for the Lent Term. In the past, when advertising revenues were high, our newspaper was able to afford and justify making the change to a national newspaper printing quality with an insert. External conditions has meant that sustaining this move is more difficult."
Nicolas Oudin, General Manager of the Beaver, said in an email in response to Wetz: "The only reason our newspaper is not making as much money as it could this year is that The Beaver have accepted, as per your urging, to sign onto your deal with Student Media Group, followingyour assurance that this would shed our budget from these "external conditions". This is clearly not how things have evolved. While we had explicitly agreed with SMG, as per their recommendation, that they would pursue advertisements and not us, for fear of calling up the same people twice and to benefit from their contact list, they have only just now brought in one advert to add on to the £13.5K we managed to raise before Michaelmas Term and which now is part of your budget."
"You know and we told you that we could have raised more ourselves. We are furthermore perplexed as to why this substantial source of SU revenue is entirely neglected in your consideration of budget allocations."
The Media Group budget was voted against by the students, whilst the other sections were passed. Section 2.5.6 states that "In the event of the budget or a section thereof not being adopted, the Treasurer shall carry out the financial business of the Union on the basis of the budget of the previous year, adjusted for inflation. The rejected section or budget shall then be amended by Finance and Services Committee and resubmitted to a Union General Meeting for adoption. This process shall be repeated until die section is adopted."
V,
Comment
Decade of broken dreams? jfflt
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The Beaver | 8 December 2009
Collective
Ajay Agarwal; Shrayans Agar wal; Raidev Akoi; Emmanuel Akpan-Inwang; Madeeha Ansari; Hasib Baber; Fadhil Bakcer-Markai-; Sean Baker; Pria Bakhshi; Vishal Banerjee; Natasha Bannister; jRamsey Ben-Achour; Noah Bernstein; Graeme Birrell; Alex Blance; Julian Boys; Danielle Brown; Nathan Briant; Ruby Buckley; James Bull; Georgina Butler; Rob 'wouldn't-notice-if-he-was-here' Charnock; Beth Cher-ryman; Angela Chow; Estelle Cooch; Oliver Courtney; Tomas Da-Costa; Louis Daillencourt; Jonathan Damsgaard; Richard Dewey; Cathy Druce; Marie Dunaway; Louisa Evans; Leon Fellas; Ossie Fikret; Aled Dilwyn Fisher; Katy Galbraith; Siddharth George; Justin Gest; Ira Goldstein; Mira Hammad; Aula Hariri; Pooma Harjani; Yisum Heneghon; Charlie Hodgson; Tahiya Islam; Harriet Jackson; Judith Jacob; Felipe Jacome; Alex Jones; Megan Jones; Naeem Kapadia; Sam Tempest Keeping; Pooja Kesavan; Mazida Khatun; Alizeh Kohari; Marion Koob; Vivek Kotecha; Anna Krausova; Ashma Kunde; Dominic Lam; Cherie Leung; Rob Low; Phyllis Lui; Shibani Mahtani; Zeeshan Malik; Nizar Manek; Sophie Marment; Jamie Mason; James McGibney; Duncan McKenna; Liam McLaughlin; Nitya Menon; Irfan Merali; Anna Mikeda; Utsa Mukherjee; Aditi Nangia; Sanjiv Nanwani; Brett Noble; Ryan Ong; Nicolas Oudin; Kyle Packer; Pantellis Palividas; Anup Patel; Jaynesh Patel; Sachin Patel; Ahmed Peerbux; Alice Pelton; Alex Peters-Day; Ben Phillips; Clare Pickering; Chloe Pieters; Danielle Priestley; Ra-him Rahemtulla; Dominic Rampat; Anjali Raval; Ricky Ren; Joe Rennison; Katherine Ripullone; Sacha Robehmed; Joe Sammut; Thienthai Sang-khaphanthanon; Amrita Saraogi; Dan Sheldon; Jonathan Storey; Andre Tartar; Su Wan Tan; Ker»y Thompson; Oliver Townsend; Molly Thicker; Mark TWyford; Vladimir Unkovski-Korica; Aliabbas Virani; Simon Wang; Jonathan Weir; Chris Westgarth; George Wetz; David Whitaker; Matthew Willis; Chris Wilkins; Natalie Wong; David Woodbridge; Daniel Yates; Alex Young; Calum Young; Sofia Zabolotskih; Mehek Zafar; Sadir Zayadine
The Collective is The Beaver's governing body. You must have contributed three pieces of work, or contributed to the production of three issues of the paper (editorially or administratively), to qualify for membership. If you believe you are a Collective member but your name is not on the list above, please email
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Editorial Board
Executive Editor Shibani Mahtani editor@thebeaveronline.co.uk
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Sam Tempest Keeping
news@thebeaveronline.co.uk
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The Beaver is printed on 100% • recycled paper. In f 2006, recycled paper made up 79% of UK L newspaper raw materials. Please recycle your copy.
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The End of Lawyers?
Richard Susskinri Tonight, HKT, 1830-2000
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Tonight, St Clement Dane's Church, 1930
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George Soros, Guy Verhofstadt, Professor MaryKaldor
Tomorrow, OT, 1300-1400
Local, national, regional, global - can they all co-exist?
Professor Johan G alt u rig Wednesday, HKT, 1830-2000
COLLECTIVE MEETING
The Beaver is excited for good reason! Come and vote in the elections for the new:
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News
8 December 2009 | The Beaver
Union governance reform on schedule
SachinPatel
Gerges: "For Al-Qaeda, terrorism is the rule not the exception"
Teresa Goncalves
Fawaz Gerges, LSE International Relations Professor, was invited last week by the LSESU Afghanistan Society to give a talk about arguably one of the most talked about conflicts in recent times.
Considering the decision to escalate American troops in Afghanistan, revealed by President Barack Obama on 1 December, understanding the nature of the threat is paramount. Professor Gerges began with an overview of what the conflict in Afghanistan means to the world stating that there was "no theatre as complex as Afghanistan and Pakistan today".
He went on to state that Afghanistan had become more important than Iraq. With the extra 30,000 troops that Obama will send over, the total number of American troops in Afghanistan will rise to almost 100,000.
According to Professor Gerges, the American strategy is driven by "the logic of the long war on terror" that began after the attacks on the World Trade Centres in September 2001. He expressed concerns that the Obama administration still al-, lows this "fear" to dominate the making of US foreign policy, which although is "legitimate to a certain extent", is in fact based on a "theoretical confusion" among policymakers about the structure and nature of the terrorist organisations they see themselves fighting against.
The confusion of the relationship between the Taliban in Afghanistan and the transitional terrorist group Al-Qaeda, is one that has existed for a long while, Gerges went on the say. In order to combat a threat it is necessary first to be able to understand it. Professor Gerges detailed that whilst indeed a relationship does ex-
ist between the two groups, crucially it is important to remember that they are different entities. Al-Qaeda, a transnational group, is borderless and constitutes a "tiny fringe group" waging "jihad" against the "far enemy", or in other words, the West. Their ultimate goal, Gerges explained was "not only to expel US influence but also to establish Islamic states based on Quranic law".
"For Al-Qaeda, terrorism is the rule not the exception," Gerges stated.
Whilst not negating the danger and threat that al-Qaeda poses, he stated that it "has never has a large, viable social base in the Muslim World", reaching the height of its power in the late 1990s with 3,000-4,000 fighters. Unlike the Taliban, al-Qaeda is not a massive social movement and in fact is undergoing a crisis of legitimate authority in the Arab and Muslim world. The Taliban on the other hand, were formed from a student movement in response to the violence experienced in Afghanistan after the expulsion of the Soviet Union. However their goals, Gerges continued, are different.
The Taliban seek to create an authentic Islamic state without the same ambitious goal to establish Islamic states in neighbouring countries and it has "never been implicated in a single operation outside the Afghan borders" against either the US or the West.
Nonetheless, the Taliban has provided shelter to Al-Qaeda, significantly so during 1996-2001 when the Taliban were in power, offering their hospitality to Osama bin Laden and his associates after they left Sudan. Stressing on the nature of the relationship however, Gerges told of the crucial decision by the Shura Council in 1999 to kill Osama Bin Laden who was believed
to be undermining their authority, the ^ decision was ultimately vetoed by leader Mullah Omar who has close personal ties with Bin Laden, even so it demonstrates an aspect of the fragile relationship the exists between the two groups.
Gerges continuously emphasised that the question was not "does the Taliban rely on Al- Qaeda?" but "what has the Al-Qaeda gained from its relationship with the Taliban?". The longer the war lasts the better for Al-Qaeda, a parasitic group that feeds and thrives on the violence. It is thus important, that the American public are told about the true nature of the threat, the differences between the groups and the extent of the decline of Al-Qaeda, which Gerges estimates is down to circa 500 in terms of core members.
The way forward he concluded was to create favourable conditions to allow for a political settlement to occur, expressing that this may be "the most effective means to cut the umbilical cord between Al-Qaeda and other militant fighters". It is important to find ways to co-opt with the Pashtun tribes, to try and find out what they want and what their grievances are, but of course this is easier said than done.
When deliberating on whether there was ever the possibility that Obama's administration would deescalate in Afghanistan, Gerges revealed that Obama "entrapped" himself, committing to what the American President called a "war of necessity". Either way, the removal of troops at this stage would have been catastrophic but in terms of escalation, Professor Gerges fears that the war in Afghanistan will in fact "outlast the Obama administration as Iraq did his predecessor".
The LSESU sabbatical officers have set in motion the restructuring of students' interactions with the Union, with the draft release of the Reform Proposal this week.
In a wide-ranging draft document, the Union Executive outlines proposals concerning the structure of the Executive, and the nature of engagement with student issues. Following years of "stuttering" action on the reform, it is hoped that the "no holds barred" approach of this document, will result in tangible reform and an increased level of engagement with the student body. This was created following a number of "targeted consultations" with a total of 496 students.
In a statement regarding the Reform Proposal's findings, LSESU Treasurer George Wetz highlighted the importance of "furthering the debate" on several occasions. Since the Proposal is a draft, students are encouraged to comment on its contents in order to initiate alterations to it.
Arguably the most visible change suggested in the Proposal involves the creation of Assemblies, a less formal fora for the discussion of policies specific to a particular area that would help to devolve power from the Executive and the UGM, which some students think has become "irrelevant", "unrepresentative" and "childish". This change of format for discussing policy would encourage more ordinary students to get involved with campaigns, according to the findings of the consultation procedure.
Under the proposals, there would be Assemblies for areas such as Education, Activities, Anti-Racism and LGBT, all of which would receive autonomously administered budgets each academic year. The aim of Assemblies, each of which would occur every three weks7 would be
So Jack turned up for the Wetz Side Story on Thursday and realised something, just as theory suggests, human beings have a tendency to mirror those that surround us.
For those of you aren't keen scholars of LSESU politics (well done if you fall into this bracket), here is a quick history lesson. Last year our Communications Officer was a boy called Dan Sheldon. Dan is one of the worst dressed men in the world, he flits between Oasis style Parkers to anything worn by New Young Pony Club. (Honestly, if you happen to see him on Houghton Street, or his current favourite haunt, upper floor of the Quad, you will know what I mean.)
George Wetz, our Treasurer (again if you didn't know this, well done for having a life) lives with Dan Sheldon. George, once so suave when working as Design Editor for the Beaver, now also dresses like a twat. It's rather beguiling why George didn't follow the traditional dress code of suit for this particular meeting, but had a tie around his neck over his casual attire. I guess that's why he's been banging on about reform, it does get quite stuffy in the fishbowl that is the Hub.
Now Jack's cleared that little bit up, let's move onto the next exhibition of Wetz mimicry.
The man now sounds like a bona fide student politician.
When the student body elected Boy George, they hoped he would add some pizaz to proceedings and once again make the Union relevant to students. Sadly somewhere along the line, Georgey lost his joie de vivre and sold his soul to the pointless politics devil. Jack suggests this was when he met Andrew Charisma Is A Privilege Not A Wright (ACIAPNAW) but that remains conjecture.
So the Wetz Side Story passed off without a hitch (though he wouldn't down his pint, since he had an empty stomach).
Oh wait no it didn't, the Media Group (or as they so aptly put in their proposed reform, specifically The Beaver), is apparently taking more than its fair share and needs to be put in its place. Not only that, the money means these sabb-twits should have a say over what's printed on these pages. And just who brought this up? That's right, friend of the Isrealites, our beloved NUS delegate, Eve wouldn't even get picked up from the Guter-man.
Dear Old Eve has clearly been watching too much 'V for Vendetta', expect het to turn up next week in full cape and mask, with the vitriol to match.
to "discuss and prioritise issues" with a view to effecting "immediate change" that could bypass the "overly formal and rigid debating" favoured by proponents of the UGM.
Elsewhere in the Proposal, there are also changes outlined with regard to the Executive Committee, including the creation of a new sabbatical position, the Activities and Development Officer, and the displacement of the position of Treasurer. Notably, all Trustees of the Union will be liable forfor overseeing the financial affairs of the Union; meanwhile, the new
sabbatical officer would be responsible for "developing and supporting student activities" by "thinking of strategic ways to involve more students".
Another problem with the current structure, that it is hoped the reforms to the Executive will solve, is the need for more postgraduate representation. This is "an ongoing debate", according to Wetz, and this is reflected in the numerous possible solutions presented in the document, which range from making the Postgraduate Students' Officer a further paid position, to moving more of the Ex-
ecutive elections into Michaelmas Term, in order to attract more candidates from the postgraduate community.
Finally, it is hoped that consensus will be achieved on the issue of breadth of electorate, with some students opposing the current "cross-campus ballot" which permits "men as well as women... to vote for who becomes Women's Officer", in favour of the proposal that "Only students that self-define in a particular area elect their representation".
The full contents of the Reform Proposal will become available to the entire
student body [when it is released]. In the meantime, there is likely to be some discussion too regarding the procedure for voting on referenda, which be wholly online in an attempt to "increase accessibility and further the debate for longer". '
When asked about the risk of interest groups block voting on contentious referenda, Wetz suggested that voting would most likely close at the end of the day upon which the referendum was raised at UGM, but that the increase in campaigning would result in "more informed debate".
Union Jack UGM sketch
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Jack is the Beaver's anonymous mole at the Union General Meeting, every Thursday at lpm
The Beaver | 8 December 2009
News
v,
Lord Stern: "determination and vision"
needed for Copenhagen
Peter Thomson
Ahead of the Copenhagen Climate Change summit, Lord Nicolas Stern spoke to a packed Old Theatre last Tuesday evening on the topic, 'Deciding our Future in Copenhagen: will the world rise to the challenge of climate change?'.
Lord Stern is currently IG Patel Professor of Economics and Government at LSE and chairman of LSE's Grantham Research Institute on Climate Change. He previously held positions at World Bank
and headed the UK Government Economic Service until 2006, producing the influential Stern Review, which has been key to recent UK climate change policy.
Lord Stern opened the lecture by drawing from the key issues raised in the Stern Review in 2006. He highlighted his two defining challenges that the world currently faces, managing climate change and overcoming world poverty. Further, he stressed the importance for countries to engage in seeking solutions for these challenges or otherwise face greater global consequences. Stem believed that "if we fail on one, we fail on the other" regarding solutions for the two challenges.
During his talk, Lord Stern firstly
looked at the current global position. Firstly, he emphasised the need for strong leadership from rich countries on reductions, finance and technology which are all crucial for an effective, efficient and equitable global deal.
Through a number of slides, Lord Stern presented figures showing that with current Global emissions at around 47 billion tonnes of carbon dioxide-equivalent predicted for next year, this would be expected to add at a rate of over 2-5ppm per year. This would mean "a probability of around 50 per cent, of a temperature increase of more than 5°C, compared with the pre-industrial era. This would be enormously destructive." In this incident,
poor countries would be the worst affected and conflicts would worsen.
To avoid such events, Lord Stern argued, solutions would "require wise risk management". He advised that, "the rich countries should find US$50 billion, or about 0.1 per cent of their gross domestic product, a year by 2015 to help the developing countries, over and above existing commitments on development aid."
"Although we are making some progress on commitments for cuts in greenhouse gas emissions, a major challenge is for rich countries to provide sufficient financial support to help developing countries to reduce their emissions and to adapt to those impacts that cannot now be
avoided," stated Stem.
Stern concluded: "An agreement now lies in the hands of world leaders who can make decisions across the full range of political issues that relate to climate change. They must demonstrate determination and vision."
"We must have an agreement that will ensure future generations can enjoy the opportunities for sustainable growth that are offered by the low-carbon economy, and that are free from the severe risks that would arise from unchecked climate change. We cannot afford the cost of failure on climate change."
"The world can only be grasped by action, not
by contemplation."
Jacob Bronowski. University of Cambridge 1927-1933
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5
8 December 2009 | The Beaver
New teaching surveys
Eunice Ng
The school is piloting a new scheme for teacher evaluation, prompted by a Teaching Task Force recommendation for a more efficient scheme.
The new scheme differs from last year's mainly by being a paper-based process. During this week, students will be given forms with questions and comment boxes which they are asked to complete in classes and lectures.
Two main surveys are being conducted. The first is a survey of Graduate Teaching Assistants, comprised mostly but not exclusively of PhD students. The second is a survey of professors teaching on half-unit courses in Michaelmas Term.
By asking students to complete evaluation forms in class, the school hopes to increase the response rate, a faster turnaround for results and improved reporting. During Summer Term of last year, the school sent online surveys to students, which many did not fill in or found too complicated to complete.
Once all the responses for Michaelmas Term have been processed, the school will look to expand the scheme to survey permanent teachers in Lent Term. The scale of surveys is huge, with aver 35,000 individual surveys. The hope is that surveys can become individualised to different departments.
"Once we are assured of the success of the capture process," said LSE Pro-Director for Teaching and Learning Professor Janet Hartley, "we can assess how we can deliver feedback to all interested parties and be more creative and flexible in the questions we ask department by department."
"I did think that this year's evaluation made it easy for the lazy student to convey their thoughts about teachers and hopefully the feedback will be given to teachers soon, so that they can move forward," said Mazida Khatun, a 3rd year student.
News
Chinese Ambassador on climate change: "a very real threat"
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Eunice Ng'
Madam Fu Yu, the Chinese ambassador to the UK, delivered a lecture on the topic of'Climate Change and China' last Wednesday, ahead of the Copenhagen Climate Change Conference this week.
Madam Fu began the talk by saying that climate change was "a very real threat", citing a story of how her father, on his deathbed requested that his ashes be scattered in the river at his village, only for Madam Fu to return to the village to discover that what was once a "roaring river" had turned into a tiny creek. She acknowledged that, by squeezing what was essentially "two centuries of industrialisation into thirty years", China is well on its way to being the world's largest carbon emitter.
She moved on to describe China's climate change programme. The most immediate step is a voluntary reduction programme undertaken in 2006 by 17 major Chinese cities to reduce 20 per cent of their emissions by 2010. The programme also features a name-and-shame system for cities that are unlikely to meet their target, such as Xinjiang. Beijing is well on its way to the 20 per cent target with a reduction of 17 per cent - the Olympics probably helped push Beijing in this direction, Madam Fu noted without a touch of irony.
There is also a strong grass roots movement to counter climate change. Many households, including hers in Beijing, now use solar energy and newly-wed couples often mark their weddings with a tree-planting ceremony. China has planted a total of 2.6 billion new trees.
China is also pushing for the development of more energy efficient power plans and the sustainable demolition of older, highly polluting coal fired ones. China's target for 2020 is to bring down CO2 emissions per unit of GDP by 40-45 per cent and to increase its use of non-fossil energy and expand forest coverage by 40 million hectares.
She also noted that despite being the world's second largest economy, China is still a developing country, with per capita GDP only at the level the UK had in 1913. China cannot neglect economic development; Madam Fu showed the audience a picture of village children watching television for the first time. Madam Fu said: "We talk about facts and figures, but we should not forget the human element. Who are we to tell these children that they can't live a better life?"
Madam Fu then pointed out that while the US chastises China for its environmental policies, it is still the world's highest emitter of carbon dioxide per capita, followed by the UK. China only ranks fourth.
"It feels like a person having four pieces of bread telling a person having his first piece to go on a diet," she said to a chuckling audience.
Madam Fu concluded her speech by outlining what China would consider to be success at Copenhagen: first, that developed countries would pledge to substantially reduce its emissions. Second, developed countries would pledge financial and technology support to developing countries. Finally, developing countries would adopt reduction measures.
The audience members asked Madam Fu a number of questions, one asked about how China is going to curb its de-
pendency on coal. Madam Fu replied that China has already reduced its dependency on coal from 70 per cent to 100 per cent, but that China will always be dependent on coal. The solution would be to invest in clean coal technology.
Another audience member asked how China was going to reconcile climate change with the fact that soon it would be the world's largest consumer for cars. Madam Fu replied that while she wished that all of Beijing could go back to riding bicycles, she did not think the government could curb demand for cars and that the answer was to promote energy efficient cars.
She rejected a suggestion for an environmental tax on cars, and asked: "How would you calculate the tax?"
Oliver Wyman is a leading global management consultancy
An equal opportunity employer Visit us at oliverwyman.com
MARSH MERCER KROLL MMC GUY CARPENTER OLIVER WYMAN
The Beaver | 8 December 2009
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8 December 2009 | The Beaver 7
In the words of Bob Dylan, 'the times, they are a-changing'. A draft version of the governance reform proposal was released over the weekend, with its range of convoluted proposals meant to "deliver a more effective, relevant and engaging Students' Union".
We understand that this is but a draft, and students are encouraged to comment on its contents. This paper is using this forum, then, to do precisely that.
We commend the proposals initiated
The Beaver
Established in 1949 Issue No. 717
Telephone: 0207 955 6705 Email: editor@thebeaveronline.co.uk
to represent more postgraduate views in the Union, and moving the Postgraduate Students' Officer to a paid position will obviously incentivise this generally untapped group to get more involved. Some other proposals, we feel, went against the spirit of what this reform is meant to do - make the Union and its structures more accessible to students. The creation of Assemblies, for example, creates unnecessary bureaucratic talking joints that will further distract the Union from
concrete action. The Union as it currently stands already alienates large numbers of students due to its unrepresentative structures of governance, yet a proposal calls for the appointment of external trustees to exercise financial and legal oversight over the Union, akin to non-executive directors on the boards of corporations. This will only result in a greater sense that the Union is turning into a business and detracting away from its purpose - a Union for students, by students.
What is obviously the most striking to us are the statements on the relationship between the Media Group (read: the Beaver) and the Union. We do see ourselves as a service to students, but importantly, how can we be a service to the students if our paid sabbatical officers are tied closer to the papers output? How can we possibly to hold them to account then, if even an inch of our editorial independence is taken away? This alleged "animosity" that students fear is a result
Letters to the Editor
of the Beaver, boldly trying to unearth the layers of controversy and scandal over the Union activities and hold the sabbatical officers to account. Surely, by providing students with worthy news, debate and entertainment in our pages, something we consistently do every week, is a service to students in itself.
We urge our readers to air their views on the governance review so that we can finally have a Union that all of us are proud to be associated with.
CAROL MUST BE MORE SENSITIVE TO LSE'S DIVERSE COMMUNITY
Madam - The LSE Athletics Union (AU) and Students' Union strongly condemn the racist, religiously insensitive and demeaning actions of a minority of students involved in the AU's Christmas Party on Friday 4th December 2009. This kind of behaviour is completely at odds with the anti-racist principles of the Students' Union, and the internationalist, diverse and tolerant majority of the LSE student body.
The AU Executive Committee sent a clear message to all Club Captains before the event that costumes worn must fit within the Students' Union's Equal Opportunities Policy and the bounds of taste-fulness, and that participants should be aware that they were representing not just the AU and the Students' Union, but also the LSE as an institution. Unfortunately, some participants ignored this call for reasonable behaviour. Complaints from members of the School community shows that it was clearly not a laughing matter.
Having spoken to the respective teams, there was no malicious or racist intent in their ill thought out and immature actions, but nevertheless the interpretations and responses to their actions should have been more closely considered.
As a result the AU Executive Committee and Students' Union are working together to put in strict regulations and that any club or society that chooses to contravene these will be held accountable - both financially and with regard to their affiliation with the AU or SU. We take this matter very seriously and want to ensure that the true open, inclusive and international nature of the Students' Union, and in particular the AU, is fully represented
Yours,
Charlie Glyn
LSE AU President
Aled Dilwyn Fisher
General Secretary, LSE Students' Union
THECARTOON WILLRETURN!
(JUST LIKE YOU. IT NEEDS A HOLIDAY)
SORELY MISSING HUMMUS
Madam - The Beaver recently printed a full page advertisement for the Hummus Bros restaurant, with a voucher for a buy-one-get-one-free meal deal included (which I'm sure many of your readers duly used).
Full page adverts in The Beaver are generally worth between £800 and £1000, and a deal with Hummus Bros was negotiated at £800 to print the advert. However, rather than pay the price in cash, it was agreed that the Beaver would be paid in £800 worth of food. Essentially a bill was set up to the price of £800 and once or twice a week, when section editors needed food whilst working, they could request it from Hummus Bros using the credit from the advertisement. This was fair, seeing as if the newspaper had taken £800 hard cash for the advertisement, they would have just given it straight back to Hummus Bros in return for food anyway.
As a section editor myself, I thought this was a nice gesture from the Editorial Board and a tasty little recompense for having given up my Fridays (and sometimes Saturdays) to work in the Beaver offices for well over a year. Moreover, nobody saw reason to complain about allowing the Beaver's staff to get some free food in return for the services they have
UCM PROCEDURE IS NOT UNCONSTITUTIONAL
Madam - We are writing to you in response to certain articles that have been printed in the Beaver regarding our conduct at Union General Meeting (UGM). On many occasions, we have been accused of breaking constitutional rules, especially when quoracy calls have been made. Through these past weeks, we have read the, Beaver in silence, ignoring many articles; however our silence cannot be interpreted as guilt or acceptance of wrongdoing.
We write to you in the hope of clearing many misunderstandings which have resulted in false accusations being thrown at us, such as that made by Miss Sophia Sleigh in last week's edition of the paper. In it, she stated that "I have been in under-populated UGMs where - instead of postponement - the Chair has asked us to gather friends and random strangers off Houghton Street in order for... motions to go through". According to the Code of Practice of the LSESU, section 13.5.1 states that the "chairperson shall be responsible for the good conduct of the meeting in consultation with at least one member of C&S". Whenever quoracy has been called at UGMs of this term (where 150 people were not present), not a single motion was passed; only reports by Sabbatical officers were allowed to be made (as evidenced through the minutes of UGM). In fact, when a student wished to discuss a motion, we promptly advised them this was wrong, and this was even pointed out in one Beaver article.
As Chair and Vice-Chair, we did indeed ask people to gather strangers (as has happened in the past), not because we wanted "motions to go through", but because we hoped that bringing more people to UGM would result in it being much
more representative of the student population, thus making it more democratic. UGM is about healthy debate, a format enhanced greatly by larger numbers of students. If at any point Miss Sleigh found that we were breaking the constitutional rules (or if any student for that matter felt this way) she should have pointed this out to us immediately, or to a member of C&S, and we sincerely hope these sorts of checks are continuously made in relation to our roles. As no member of C&S has bought into question our conduct, and no student has at any point raised concerns at any UGM regarding our conduct, such accusations seem to be highly unfounded, especially as the role of the C&S as stated under section 13.4.2 of the Code of Practice is to "assist the chairperson in the interpretation and enforcement of the Constitution, Standing orders and applicable laws and regulation as detailed in the Constitution and Standing orders".
It is also worthy of note that numerous editorials have criticised the perceived bias of UGMs towards debates on Palestine and the other typical student campaigns. It is not die intention of the UGM to be dominated by these issues, however, is it an undeniable truth that these are the only motions that guarantee full attendance. We feel that all those decrying such motions also tend to be those opposing the low turnout at other UGMs, should they wish to involve themselves in canvassing over the less well attended motions, we feel that they should. Attendance is an issue, we accept that; however, it is one thing that we have no control over - it is the duty of students to attend UGM and to vote on motions. If unpopular ones are passed, those that did not attend can hardly cry foul play.
We have never been rebuked for our interpretation of the code of practice or constitutional rules, and when major decisions in the UGM are made, we ensure that C&S are consulted, (as students of regular attendance would have noted). Hence, the fact that writers in the Beaver have accused us of or wrongdoing is deeply hurtful. We are not against criticism, indeed if at any point our conduct is deemed to be unconstitutional or wrong, we shall be more than happy for our conduct to be examined and the subsequent steps taken for our removal. So far we have tried our best to ensure that UGM is conducted in line with the constitutional rules and run in a democratic way through which student views are fairly represented.
The UGM serves as the sovereign body of the LSESU and we are proud to serve in our respective capacities. We are not insular, ivory-tower dwellers, anyone who has a desire to discuss the constitution of the of the UGM is more than welcome to. However, we argue that more good can be done via direct involvement at our weekly forum rather than by decrying all political actives from the wayside.
Nazia Khanzada
UGM Chair
JackTindale
UGM Vice-Chair
and will continue to happily provide free of charge.
That is, until the Students' Union Sabbatical Officers got involved.
The Sabbs said that the credit earned from the advertisement in the Beaver placed by Hummus Bros rightfully belonged to the Students' Union and shouldn't have been embezzled by the Beaver for 'private' use.
However, I would beg to differ, not only because the Sabbs had no particular plans for what to do with an extra £800 (a paltry sum considering the Union's budget), but because their rationale essentially referred to the fact that it was a bad deal to accept food instead of money, which is a typically despicable LSE attitude. I also think that the dedicated Editorial Board who work in the Beaver offices (sometimes from Thursday to Monday), who have to pay for all their meals whilst there, as well as the PartB section editors who work all day on Fridays and/or Saturdays, should without a doubt be rewarded in some way, when they are giving up free time to work on the Students' Union newspaper, even if it's just a few weeks' worth of free hummus. In fact, recieving free hummus was the first time something like this has happened in over a year of
my working for the Beaver and, as far as I know, didn't happen much before I began working there either.
Fair enough, work at the Beaver is a good notch on your C.V. However, I think it's also fair that if you are doing a job for the Students' Union or the university wherein you are giving up a substantial amount of your free time, then you should get paid in some way. The Sabbs do, the Tuns staff do, the SU shop staff do, the quad staff do, the library staff do, the events stewards do, Howard Davies does. So why shouldn't people putting in solid hours at the Beaver also get some sort of recompense for their labour? And what better way to avoid arguments of it being unfair to pay Beaver staff money than by allowing them some free food instead?
We ask little, work professionally, and enjoy admiring the fruits of our labour, but it is sad that the one time we received a well-earned treat, the Sabbs snatched it from us within a few weeks, when we'd only spent £400. Ouch.
Give us our hummus back!
Liam McLaughlin
3rd year, BSc Government
PALESTINE NEEDS A BETTER KIND OF SOLIDARITY
Madam - Ziyaad Lunat and James Caspell are either egregiously misinformed or deliberately engaging in defamation -by claiming that the siege of Gaza is 'genocidal' in nature and that Israel is an 'ethno-nationalist state for Jews only.' That the Beaver has chosen to publish a letter which contains outright lies and distortion is deeply disturbing and reflects a lack of respect for basic standards of journalism and moral decency. Defamation should have no place in tie Beaver.
Criticising Israel's closure of Gaza's borders to all but humanitarian assistance is legitimate and welcome. However, claiming that its policies are genocidal is delusional. There is no factual basis to that claim. No respected international aid agency has ever made such a claim; nor the United Nations. Israel allows food, medicine, and other basic needs into Gaza. It does not engage in genocide there. Calling Israel's policies in Gaza genocidal is a gross misuse of that word both in its legal meaning in international human rights law and in its colloquial meaning. It also shows profound disrespect for peoples who have experienced genocide in Sudan, Rwanda, and in Europe during the Holocaust.
Israel is both religiously and ethnically diverse. Citizenship is not exclusive to Jews by any means. 20% of Israeli citizens are not Jewish. The majority of Israel's religious minorities are Muslim but there is also a substantial Christian minority. There are large Bedouin, Druze, and Palestinian communities, who have Israeli citizenship and enjoy democratic freedoms of speech, press, assembly, and religion as well as the right to vote and protection for minorities including gays and lesbians. No other country in the
Middle East guarantees all of these rights and freedoms to their citizens. Many other countries in the Middle East do, however, discriminate on the basis of gender, race, religion, and sexual orientation.
Israel was not founded through the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians from their land. Israel accepted the UN Partition plan creating a Palestinian state and a Jewish state and was born in that context, while neighboring Arab states and many Palestinians rejected it, launching a war against Israel in which both Israel and Arab states and the local Palestinian community violated human rights.
More than 700,000 Jews of Arab lands were forced out of Iraq, Egypt, Algeria, Libya, Yemen, Syria and other Arab countries in the Middle East due to state-sponsored violence, discrimination, and the withdrawal of civil and political rights, property rights, and riots in which Jews were murdered and Jewish communal properties were looted and destroyed in the years leading up to the founding of the State of Israel and in the 1950s and 1960s.
Hatred, ignorance, defamation, and lies are not a basis for promoting justice and peace. Rather, they foment violence and human rights violations. Palestinians merit solidarity that is honest, informed, just, and humane. The type of solidarity that Lunat and Caspell offer does a tremendous disservice to the Palestinian cause and to those who recognise that affirming Palestinian rights need not and should not be accompanied by demonis-ing Israelis and attacking the right of the Jewish people to a state of their own which they deserve no less than the Palestinians.
PhD Student
8
The Beaver | 8 December 2009
Comment
The irredentism dogma
Politicised Islam advocates a dangerous breed of protest
Aksel Vansten
The.left-wing liberal and pluralistic characteristics of all institutions where the political Islamist agenda seems to penetrate more or less gets hijacked towards that agenda. Why is this happening, and what defines that agenda? First of all, the reason this is happening is because there is an aspect of Islam whose character is not spiritual but political and ideological. In this branch of the religion, the spiritual part is subordinate and a bi-product of the political characteristics. The aspect of political Islam which creates the spiritual satisfaction is the sense of collective mobilisation after Friday prayers where enthusiasm of every individual's own jihad gets collectivised in vocal cursing of Islam's enemies. That spirit, of course, is an aggressive one. It has to be added, however, that what sets Islam apart from other religions is not its aggressiveness per se but the fact that it is much more widely politicised than the undoubtedly Comparable violent potential of other religions.
This is why efforts to de-politicise this religion in various parts of the globe through interchanging methods have always remained futile, and Islam bounced back in ever more radical and political forms. Given the prevalence of its character, Islam dominates any political discourse it is involved within. Where there is Islam, there is no room for any other ideology. It proved compatible
with capitalism because it was devised by a capitalist. It proved compatible with social hierarchy because it was devised to preserve it. This makes it an impossible to neglect avenues towards gaining political power in any given Muslim country. The organic relationship of Islam with political power is prevalent also in the context of Palestinian society.
Political Islam, given its character,
just like any other dogmatic ideology,
will use liberalism when it ends up in the same room with it. This is precisely what happens and will continue happening in the case of British-European left wing sympathy towards Islamicisation of resistance against Israeli brutality - a trend which, for instance, brings George Galloway to mind. The left-wing sensitivities of siding with the underdog do not disrupt the politicised Muslims of the LSE or anywhere else one bit; it does not make them think and challenge their own dogmas. It does not make them reflect upon the plight of the Palestinians in relation to predominance of dogmatic thinking in their part. Neither does it make them question the role of these phenomena in regards to the socio-political quagmire the Muslim world in general seems to have sunk into.
The politicised Muslims instead will concentrate on channelling this left-wing support towards their quest to earn political and intellectual legitimacy for irredentism. The men and women you enthusiastically side with, thinking you are condemning Israel, do not share any ideals with you. They are not world citizens, they are not libertarians, they are not humanists and they only believe in free speech when it's their turn to talk. In this case, you are not condemning Israel, but giving legitimacy to this dogmatic
irredentism. Do you realise what you are doing? These men and - more interestingly - women will remain for the most part political Islamists all their lives; a body of people who generate contemporary politics from a book written by some tribesmen fourteen centuries ago, ironically claimed all the way until our day as "pure" and "unchanged" by the same people who mobilise behind its already political character. Whether Israelis are "baby killers" or defenders of western civilisation acting in self-defense is irrelevant here. You are being used as an instrument towards legitimising further irredentism on part of the Palestinian movement. Given Israel's complete disregard for Palestinian life, granting further legitimacy to organizations such as Hams and Hezbollah in their current form will not do the Palestinian cause any good.
The left-wing approach should be logical; it should leave no room for illusions. It should not cooperate with defenders of concrete, archaic, dogmatic ideologies. The real goal should be to work towards a mutually dignified peacefid existence in the Middle East where brotherhood reigns, in place of either American imperialism or Iranian irredentism.
Israeli expansionism and brutality can not overshadow the irredentist character of pro-Palestinian movements at the School, who hijack LSg's prestige in order to legitimise their actions. Through siding with political Islamists of the LSE the free thinkers instead lend more legitimacy to Israel's actions.
Your right to protest is concretely legitimised through Israeli occupation and brutality, but we must not legitimise Israeli brutality or occupation through strengthening irredentism.
A hall load of privacy issues
The fluid boundaries of properly in communal areas causes unusual encounters
ysterious fire doors in LilianKnowles cause socially uncomfortable situations
*
Maitiu Corbett
In a multi-social world, lines of privacy are blurred or, at best, shift by situation. This begs the question: how do you know when to act to protect your privacy? Our phone numbers are passed to cold-call companies; cameras follow us along the street; the Internet leams about us (whoever 'the Internet' is). In all these situations we remain passive, but what about more physical situations? How private is your home?
For those living in a proper house, or even a flat, this is not so much a concern. If physical privacy is breached there seems more of a licence to demand that your visitor explain him- or herself or to force them to leave. The phrase "what are you doing in my house?" rolls off the tongue in response to an instinctive territoriality. However, as I recently discovered, this primal signal can get mixed up when it comes to halls.
Like all halls of residence, Lilian Knowles House has its quirks. For example, if you want anything from a certain receptionist, you must be prepared to hear the immortal phrase "can you come back later?" (no, I can't, and why is it never you who can help me? What exactly do you do here if you can't actually do anything to help me?). However, the relevant idiosyncrasy here is a fire door in my flat, at the end of the corridor, which opens into the neighbouring flat. Emblazoned about half way up the door is a sign proclaim-
ing "CAUTION: This door is alarmed". It is not.
This would have gone completely unnoticed had it not been for the rather enterprising social style of our neighbours. Late in the evening, when all of us were in our rooms (nice and safe behind locked doors), two of my flatmates heard voices coming from inside the flat that they didn't recognise. Showing bravery worthy of the Victoria Cross, one of them left her room, followed the voices to our kitchen, and discovered four people in the process of inspecting our wares.
What did our hero do? Well, perhaps rather unheroically, not much. She asked who they were and was told that they were from the flat next door and had just worked out that the 'alarmed' door was in fact not alarmed. Clearly this was intended to be the start of a beautiful friendship. The other flatmate entered and, rather bemused, so did I.
Why didn't we just tell them to get the hell out? It can't have been our stiff British manners, given that we comprised an Australian, a Canadian, and an Irish-Scot. Was it because we suddenly accepted their Utopian idea and welcomed their neighbourly spirit?
No, we just had no idea what to do. Caught off-guard, we took part in a stilted and decidedly frigid conversation, shooting each other confused, angry glances. We were totally uncomfortable. Why did they start snooping around our kitchen? The normal thing for them to do, even in this weird situation, would have been to . knock on one of our doors: "Gosh, I've just discovered that our flats open into each other, isn't that funny?" [Cue laughter, beer, hugs] Why did they choose to make the situation stranger?
Since then, our mutual response has
been passive aggression. We put up a clothes-horse on our side of the door, only to find it the next day on their side. We put up a poster over the door window, only to find it ambiguously strewn on the floor the next day - did it fall down by itself?. We talk about marching through there and telling them what for, but something holds us back. Manners? Fear of retaliation? I don't think it's either of these.
I think it is because, as a social space, halls are a hybrid between the social and the private. I don't mean to say that all other spaces are strictly designated, but on a spectrum of the social and the private, halls sit uncomfortably in the middle. "We're all in this together" is the pervasive university-starters' mantra and social cross-pollination, especially at the global village of LSE, is actively encouraged (which in itself is exactly what I came here for). At the same time, privacy is enforced by a clearly delimited hierarchy of access. Key-cards admit you to the building, then your block, then your flat, and lastly your room. At each stage access becomes more privileged.
But what if, as in this story, those boundaries prove to be false? What if they then find out that their key-card works on my room door? Do they then have a right to enter my room simply because nothing physical stops them? This isn't even just a mistake, as I have since seen a member or the reception staff use the fire door too. Why is the sign there then? As individuals and as a flat, our confusion prevents action.
I won't draw a conclusion from this, because, given how unsettled the matter is, any clear conclusion would be false. For now, it should suffice to say that I will be keeping my crisps behind lock and key in my room.
A service of hate
Racist humour at Carol is wholly reprehensible
Samer Araabi
There's no better word to describe what happened outside the Tuns last Friday afternoon than simply 'disgusting.' If you were lucky enough to avoid it, the most notable feature of this year's Carol was this: over a dozen drunken students dressed in orange jumpsuits and drawn-on beards, several of whom had painted their faces brown, prostrating themselves on the ground and yelling "Oh Allah." It was unquestionably one of the most insulting, offensive, and downright frightening acts of racism I have ever witnessed, and I'm shocked to see it come from a supposedly open, inclusive, and
international institution like ours. People poke a lot of fun at political correctness these days, but it exists because it's a way to set certain behavioural expectations of decency and respect across different groups.
Racial pantomimes done in jest are still racial pantomimes, and unintentionally insulting someone is still insulting them; in many ways even worse because the perpetrator can't even be bothered to think about how offensive their actions may be. Using words like "nigger" or "faggot" may be funny to you, but they're offensive and frightening to members of discriminated, oppressed, and marginalised communities easily targeted by bigots and their ilk. As an Arab Muslim, actions like that don't make me feel safe on my own campus, and that is unacceptable. I truly hope I never witness an event like that again in my life, and I think an apology to the entire community is in order.
Minarets and human rights
The results of the Swiss referendum are indicative of a difference between public and publicised opinion
Alexander Kamp
The Swiss referendum on the prohibition of minarets has been a topic for discussion in local and international media for weeks. Last week the Swiss people decided and, defying the predictions of journalists, politicians and pollsters, accepted the initiative of the Swiss Peoples Party (SVP) for the prohibition of minarets. Foreign criticism has come from a range of sources - from the media (including this newspaper), to the Turkish President Erdogan. It has been argued that the vote defied the freedom of religion and therefore contravened the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR). The question has been raised of whether the Swiss electorate was fooled into this vote by a campaign of right-wing populists. And the Turkish President has gone as far as calling the outcome of the referendum evidence for an "increasingly racist and fascist attitude in Europe" and a "crime against humanity".
Needless to say, these are strong accusations. More disturbingly however, the reactions demonstrate a certain arrogance towards the Swiss nation in particular and towards the capacity of a people to decide on contentious issues more generally. These criticisms are not only a foreign intervention in the domestic issues of a sovereign state, but they also question fundamental constitutional values of that state. In a democracy like Switzerland, the electorate is the sovereign and it is its constitutional right to determine its fate through elections and referenda. While in many states these choices have been delegated to popular representatives in parliaments or assemblies, in Switzerland there is a long-standing tradition of direct democracy through local and national referenda. Most worryingly however,
these criticisms question the fundamental basis of democracy. Namely, the right and capacity of the demos to make fundamental choices on the way affairs should be conducted.
Certainly, even in a democracy in the liberal sense of the term, the sovereign is not almighty. In most liberal democracies constitutional principles limit the sovereign's exercise of its powers. Switzerland,
as a party to the ECHR, has to guarantee certain human rights, for example the right to freedom of religion. Many have argued that prohibiting minarets contravenes this right. The arguments of the supporters of the initiative are somewhat convincing, however. They have argued that Muslims in Switzerland have every right to exercise their religion freely as they are allowed to build mosques, just as Christians are allowed to build churches. The only effective change the referendum has introduced is that certain elements, namely minarets, will not be allowed on mosques in Switzerland.
Whether the prohibition of minarets contravenes the ECHR has not yet been resolved. What is important to remember is that the Swiss referendum was not directed at limiting the freedom of religion or the exercise of religious rights by the Muslim community. Rather, there is a concern, not just in Switzerland, that minarets are more than mere religious architecture. They are seen by many as a manifestation of political Islam. That this concern is not without basis and the role of minarets is not quite so harmless is evident from a quotation by President Erdogan, the man who now so vehemently criticised the referendum. He once wrote in a poem that "the minarets our bayonets". To simply blame the outcome on the SVP's right-wing campaign surely means ignoring the heart of the matter. In a democracy, we have to expect the electorate to be able to make reasonable choices.
It is notable that, even in Switzerland, criticism of the outcome by politicians and the mainstream media was outspoken. However, the people of Switzerland were equally outspoken in the referendum. A clear majority of 57% voted in favour of the initiative for the prohibition of minarets. This situation is more common than we like to admit. It is a symptom of the increasing discrepancy between public opinion and publicised opinion. It quite simply shows that we are not honestly discussing many of the issues that are of concern to a significant part of the population. The paternalism exhibited by too many commentators in response to the popular vote will only deepen the divide. What we need instead is a debate on the integration that addresses popular concerns and takes them seriously, no matter whether they are politically correct. And we need to accept that democracy may yield results that contradict popularly-held opinions.
Comment
8 December2009 | The Beaver
ON TERRORISM
f^p^ollowing the devastating at-
tacks in America on September lllh 2001, the world suddenly I became aware of a 'new' threat JKLm of terrorism. This terrorism, we were torn, would hunt us down in our own homes, our own cities, our own work places. These attacks would hit anyone, regardless of your nationality, religion, political views. It did not matter whether you were a civilian or a militaiy combatant. We were warned to keep our eyes peeled, to trust no one and to prepare for the fight against terror.
Plans were subsequently made for the invasion of those nations that were deemed to be most dangerous, Afghanistan and Iraq. Around the world, people became obsessed with the link between terrorism and 'Islamist extremism'; an idea which was fuelled not only by those in power but, more crucially, the media.
It is no wonder that the Western world became more alert after the 9/11 attacks. The utter devastation and enormous casualties in just a few hours were unlike anything America had experienced; furthermore it was an attack on domestic soil. The reaction of the population was every bit justified: the fear, the panic, and the desire for a culprit to be found and brought to justice. The government response however, was not.
Perhaps the principle job of a government is to protect its people through fair representation and information. What happened after 9/11, not only in America but also other Western states, was the exacerbation of the situation, in terms of where the threat came from and what the extent of that threat was. Undeniably the attacks created the feeling that threat of
"There are now 17,291 species in danger of extinction; we may only be able to see Orangutans in the wildfor 20 more years."
Sara Downes
DOOMSDAY
The millennial enthusiasms of the Unarius Space Academy, founded upon on a pseudoscientific hodgepodge of past-life channeling, Chinese geneaology and fourth dimensional physics principles, predicted the arrival of our 'space brothers' to their El Cajon, California HQ in 2001. Arriving in a cavalcade of 33 flying saucers from different planets, the extraterrestials were to usher in the end of the world as we know it. They would introduce an international university and new technologies to save planet Earth from self-destruction. The banners were hung and the CDs were in the player, but their little green guests didn't show.
According to prophetess Lori Adaile Toye of the I Am America Foundation, the Earth was supposed to undergo a series of sensational systemic natural disturbances from 1992 to 2009, at which point much of the world was to go the way of Atlantis. While we wait for evidence of water-based apocalypse, one can find updated world maps for sale on her website.
Sandra Smiley
ON NEW LABOUR AND IDEOLOGY
May 1997 saw Tony Blair stride into No. 10, his gait matching the optimism and hope encapsulated in the feverish flag waving andfresh spring air that came with that day. Blair, it was thought, was leading his party and even the country on a grand project of modernisation, creating a politics and a nation for the 21st Century. This venture was New Labour. Over 12 years later, with the faces of that movement wom and furrowed by events and the stresses they bring, what has become of our politics?
Blair saw his party as the realisation of an idea bom at the LSE. His admiration for Anthony Giddens, the cerebral father of the Third Way, verged on a desire for doctrinaire implementation of our former director's ideas. Retrospect shows us that ideology has in fact been the biggest victim of Blair and Brown's project. Rather
further attacks was foreseeable. People felt they were in danger, but the government did not serve to counter these fears or threats, or deal with the hysteria that ensued.
There is not much we can do to alter the actions of previous governments; however, we must truly understand the significance of this new terrorism and place it into perspective.
The act of terrorism in itself is not a new singularity. Terrorism can be traced back to the Roman age and perhaps even before. The experience of la Terreur during the French Revolution is still thought of as one of the worst periods of terrorism in Europe. What the media and certain governments effectively did throughout the early 2000s was create a new conception of terrorism.
At the same time, we must not forget the attacks on the Twin Towers in New York in 1993; the Oklahoma bombings in 1995, or the IRA attacks throughout the 1970s.
Terrorism is something that we should fear and try to eradicate. The 7/7 attacks in London shook Britain to the core and intensified fears propagated after 9/11. Nevertheless we must seek to understand the threat properly instead of proclaiming a 'global war on terror'. Not only does this imply that the whole world is faced with an imminent threat from these organisations but it makes it seem like this fight will never end, especially considering the international situation.
I refer of course to the recent decision to increase troops in Afghanistan that has been met with proclamations of intensity from the Taliban. Terrorist attacks are fuelled by panic and fear. Essentially, these are the main goals of terrorist organisa-
tions: to entice fear, to coerce, to intimidate. Fighting fire with fire can aggravate the situation further by creating new perceived grievances or reinforcing old ones, leading others to join the side of insurgents. Governments should be working to educate the public on the actual situation, instead of creating more fear and panic that in this century has invariably led to an increase in xenophobia and racism. I need only refer to the recent decision in Switzerland to ban minarets to highlight this point.
Terrorism is not a new phenomenon; but in this past decade it has occurred much closer to home. Instead of proclamations of the 'new' threat, we need to be aware of the real situation. Our government needs to try at least to be empathetic in order to tackle the root causes of these attacks. This could include attempts to create stronger ties with both central and local governments in order to open up dialogue and assess the true picture on the ground. Furthermore, questions of why these groups resort to terrorism need to be seriously assessed. Governments must think of alternative institutions and means that can be provided to civilians in order to address their concerns. Education, as well as the legitimacy of governance, is paramount.
My hope therefore for this new decade, is for governments to at least try and work together, as hard as it may seem, in order to create favourable conditions for negotiation but also to educate its populations in order to minimise the effects that the war on terror has had on our supposedly democratic communities.
Teresa Goncalves
ON GENERATION Y
Looking forward to 2010 can be quite daunting; given the range of political and economic challenges 2009 ushered in, it is difficult to predict what the coming year will bring with it. Invariably, what comes our way will be dealt with by the youth of today through our unique frame of reference and approach to global affairs. Generation Y, as we are known, will have to grapple with a complex set of political challenges. For the first time, it is possible to say that many of us are "global citizens", with perspectives that go beyond our own backyards. With this comes a set of divergent opinions, experiences and predictions on what to do to solve the problems of tomorrow. What binds us together, however, is our mutual responsibility to adequately address the problems facing us in the future; many of which will be inherited by the generation above us, and predicated on misunderstandings and band-aid solutions.
The misrepresentations and misreading of the relationship between the Muslim world and the West, the challenges associated with climate change and carbon emissions, growing poverty rates, the ongoing spread of HIV/AIDS, and the political effects of an ageing world population exemplify a set of concerns the youth of today will have to address head on. Unlike the generations before us, many of the issues that face us cannot be solved merely through military might, and instead require, long lasting solutions, based on common understandings and correct policy. Most of our generation remain untouched by armed, interstate warfare; the carnage of World War I and II are distant lessons in history text-
The Decade
of
Broken Dreams
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e noughties. The decade that as primed for glory, technological advancement, an end to world hunger, an end to climate change and the beginning of peace. It was a chance to start anew, reconcile the world and commence a fresh new age of tolerance and prosperity. Is it me or did none of that, bar technological advancement, happen? When reviewing the last decade I placed it upon myself to play a little word association game. That is, to stay the first words that came into my head when I said 'the noughties.' Here is but a mere taster of some of the words I chanced upon: war, failure, climate change, terrorism, fear, shock. Am I too bleak in my review? Granted, there were glimpses of hope like the end of George Bush's grasp as leader of the world. Replaced by the first African-American as President, Barack Obama's ideals are commendable but only time will tell whether or not they come to fruition. In-
stead, let me list some of the disappointing features of our ageing decade. Who can forget the acts of terrorism in America on 9/11 or London's own 7/7 attacks?
What about the horrific siege on a Russian school in Beslan where 186 children were brutally murdered? Natural disasters were also rife. Remember the Boxing Day tsunami in South East Asia where around 300,000 people lost their lives? Or how about Hurricane Katrina savaging the southern states of America, proving that Nature discriminates not between developing and developed nations? The fall and subsequent execution of Saddam Hussein came at a cost of countless lives of innocent Iraqis, who are to this day still paying for the decision of a few to start an illegal war. Though evil men fell, good men also passed away. Pope John Paul II, a proponent of peace and charity, was lost.
Recently, of course, we have suffered a global financial meltdown, from which we are only now beginning to recover.
than becoming the ideology to rule all ideologies, transcending the clash between left and right, the Third Way has sucked ideas out of British politics altogether. This is evidenced by the nature of debate in the Westminster village today. In a year when events have challenged fundamental assumptions of the economic orthodoxy, the political community has been discredited as nepotistic, and numerous global problems persist without clear answers, it is staggering to contemplate the narrowness in the range of remedies proposed by mainstream politics. History tells us that crises such as these should lead to an exaggeration of differences in ideas, facing citizens with a choice as to who should govern. Extremist ideology is certainly unwelcome, but difference of some description and for the right reasons is the lifeblood of a liberal democracy.
New Labour is inculpated in this end to ideas for a number of reasons. Primarily, its own emptiness is to blame.
We have now lived under a government without an ideology for nearly 13 years. Perhaps we have simply forgotten what it looks like. Commitments such as the famous 1997 manifesto promise to be 'tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime' seduced us into thinking we were at a landmark moment, putting the dogma of left and right behind us and adopting a set of universal beneficial values and ideas. Such aphorisms are successful because they are so hard to disagree with. Who wouldn't want to tackle crime as well as its causes or accept responsibility with their newfound rights? Sadly, these visions never became a reality. The electorate unconsciously swapped honesty as to the difficult choices intrinsic in making policy and effecting change, for a politics in which presentation rules supreme. Tragically, government in this way inescapably results in a race to the bottom. Opposition of substance is awkward when one has nothing concrete to push against.
Ideology has in fact been the biggest victim of Blair and Brown's project
Freakish weather and rising sea levels still continue to be ignored as Mother Nature vents her fury at our negligence and ignorance. So what are we to take from this decade? Caution. I believe the last decade has been a warning to mankind. It has shown us what will happen if we continue to abuse the Earth; continue to fuel our greed and hatred and continue to neglect human rights crises home and abroad. Do we really want to live in a constant state of threat from terrorism or radical climate change or financial catastrophe? Humankind should leam from its mistakes and stop immediately and pro-actively from making them again in the upcoming years. If we continue in the same vein of form the effects could be potentially worse. Who knows; perhaps those Mayans were onto something. Having said that, at this rate, it will be a bit of a struggle to even reach 2012!
Sadir Zayadine
books. As American and Coalition troops struggle to get a firm grip on the social and political intricacies in Afghanistan and Iraq, many of us are wary of the capability for boots on the ground to bring about everlasting solutions. Put simply-we need brain power.
Approaching global affairs intellectually, will require coordination, and mobilisation; something that to our generation, even those who are politically disinclined, is second nature. We are the generation of multitaskers, authors of Facebook updates, blogs and online journalism. Just as we have inherited a unique set of social and political challenges ahead, so too are we the keepers of a host of tools unlike anything seen before. At no other point in history has the process of exchanging ideas, information, and more importantly, counter-arguments, been so easy. With the advent of the internet, educational exchange programs, blogging, texting, online newspapers and journals, podcasts, and commentary, our generation will find it is difficult to claim ignorance.
In the past, a lack of information and awareness has proven disastrous: the international neglect of the Rwandan genocide, the inability to reach out to the Muslim nations, late efforts to address climate change and ongoing issues of race and religious toleration in Europe and North America. These are all cases in which the absence of dialogue and information sharing has been critical in exacerbating and prolonging problems. We must learn from these mistakes. Some have managed to harness our generation's approach to world affairs: online microcrediting services exemplify simple, policy-driven tools available globally, which succinctly addresses world poverty. Most notably of course, was Barack Obama's ability to tap into the youth's thirst for a returned emphasis on political dialogue in American foreign policy; many have accredited his connection with youth in his historic election victory.
The correct use of the tools in front of us will define our generation's legacy in global affairs, it is up to us to realise the capabilities many of us take for granted. Often described as over-privileged, and lazy, our generation can show history what we are capable of, if we take a step back and realise our potential. At no other time in histoiy has the prospect of finally putting to an end some of the issues that have lasted decades been so near.
Aisha Ansari
NAYSAY
Hitherto the domain of suicide cults, astral-plane sky pilots and homicidal right-wing survivalists, millennial mysticism went mainstream with the Y2K bug, cultivating popular consternation about the consequences of'century date change'. Many computer programs were fashioned to store years with only two digits: for example, 1980 would be stored as 80. Such systems were expected to crash and cause crucial infrastructure to fail. The year 2000 was presaged by sensational political rhetoric and an alarmist media to be anything from 'the electronic equivalent of El Nino' to a crisis of epic proportions.
Some have interpreted the writings of the 16th century seer Nostradamus as predicting a series of at least three antichrists. The first two, Hitler and Napoleon, were apparently foretold by the prophet- but the third has yet to debut. The name 'Mabus' has been anagram-matically linked with 'Obama', 'Saddam', 'Osama' and, slightly more credibly, current US Secretary of the Navy, Roy Mabus. Sandra Smiley_
Into the vacuum of ideas pours techniques of style and packaging. It is deeply troubling that some of the most employed tools of policy formulation and government emulate the operations of the advertising agency. Does it seem likely that the answers to how best to flog a packet of crisps and what the best way to regulate immigration is lie in the same processes? With this phenomenon, scrutiny falls down by the wayside. Criticism of politicians centres on pointing out gaps in their polished presentation rather than questioning values or policy proposals. The 2010 election will be a crossroads for our society where important questions beg important answers. Sadly, and largely thanks to New Labour, May will undoubtedly be a triumph of form over substance. Ideology, R.I.P.
Oily Wiseman


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THE
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EXCLUSIVE 1
WORLD EXCLUSIVE
By SHIBBY MUTINY SYPHILLIS CHEESECAKE
The Cock editor "gagged | and tied" by "sadomasochistic" Union Official.
Union Official E-manual GotApang is battling to keep I his job today after it was revealed he had taken part in a "sadomasochistic" sex | game with an editor of The Cock.
Amidst the controversy surrounding the AU Carol, The Cock has obtained exclusive footage of GotApang in what could only be described as the "doggy-style" sexual position. To add to the kink, this was done in public in front AU party-goers last Friday night.
The editor, who wishes to remain anonymous, alleged that GotApang brought her to Queensley Suites and proceeded to indulge in a series of sex I games which included the use of The Cock.
"I was gagged and tied," said I the editor. "I don't remember much of the night. But I found scratches and bruises on my | wrists the next morning."
The editor also alleged I that GotApang was shouting phrases such as "Keep your reporting fair, b*tch!" and "I serve the students!".
Fishy Dildo, fellow Union of-I ficial claimed that he was outraged but sympathised with GotApang's actions: "I would like the chance to gag and tie an editor of The Cock myself!"
GotApang could not be. reached for comment at time of print.
CCTV ARCHIVES Athletics Union Carol - 04/12/09
B		m	3	s		
						
By S. WILD HONKABOOB
Tuesday, December 8,2009
thecockinthebeaver.co.uk
AFTER a tip off from Cock reporters, Biggies was stopped by Met Officers after Thursdays UGM.
Stuffed inside his tail was a kilo of raw Heroin, 40 grams of Cocaine and 200 amphetamines.
Reports suggest that Biggies has been using his position on stage to peddle the drugs to various members of the SU administration.
Poor attendances in recent weeks have also been blamed on a drop in quality of Biggies' product.
A sweating and nervous George Wets commented "I had no idea that there was such a drug culture at the heart of the SU." When further questioned on his strange demeanor Wets cited high stress levels and blamed his rather dilated pupils on a "change in the brand of eye drops" he had been using.
In a clear signal of intent from the SU, an amendment has been added to the draft reform document stating all SU exec members will be subject to regular drug testing to avoid a repeat of the scandal.
General Suckretary Fishy Dildo, wearing a Bob Marley t-shirt covered in ganja leaves, said "I in no way support or condone the use of drugs."
He added "However, I see Marijuana as no more of a drug as Chamomile or Peppermint."
Biggies has been placed on remand with a court date pending. If convicted he could be sentenced to a maximum of 25 hard labor in a maximum security Dam in Northern Canada.
Full Story: Page 4
Cock
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
BEAVER
Mikey Locke brings hope for children in Birmingham UKFAIL PRESIDENT TOUCHES CHILDREN
ft t& By CHERRY LUNGS 1 IPSYPHILLIS CHEESECAKE
Mikey Locke, president of UKFAIL society, has unveiled the society's newest branch in Birmingham last Thursday with a lavish bash attended by celebrities such as Jackie Chen and Ken Horn. The UKFAIL (United Kung Fu Association In London) society, which has chapters in all parts of the UK including Manchester and Liverpool, was founded by Locke to help children to "UnLocke"
their barriers to reach their full potential.
Locke gave a speech at the opening bash about why he founded the UKFAIL society, and how he plans on expanding their outreach to beyond the UK. He spoke of his experience as Head Boy at a local school in Hong Kong and how it had inspired him to establish this presti-
gious kung fu organisation.
"General bullying and other sorts of intimidation at school had taught me that a lack of confidence and self defence will only build a barrier within you. I want to help kids unLocke their barriers and help them realise their potentials to become leaders."
"Furthermore, this is a dangerous world with gun crimes and knife crimes round every corner. It is beyond reasonable doubt that parents live in constant fear of their children being attacked by hooded gangs on the streets. Hence UKFAIL, of which I am the president, aims to teach kung fu and various forms of martial arts to children at an early age as well as youngsters, so they can be as successful as I am [Mikey Locke is also the chair of Locke-Smiths Enterprise, president of I Heart Hong Kong Association, treasurer of the criminal law charity Beyond Reasonable Doubt and legal consultant to the left-wing politician, A-Lid Fishy Dildo.]"
"UKFAIL has done pretty well in the UK but my ultimate goal is to have international branches all over the world. I want to unLocke the barriers I in Vancouver, Mexico, Amsterdam and many more!"
The society has recently launched a nationwide campaign to protect the
safety of young girls. UKFAIL went as far as providing free one-on-one private lessons for young girls with Locke himself.
"Teenage girls are vulnerable to sexual attacks and therefore they must learn to protect themselves," explained Locke. "I, as the president of UKFAIL, am the perfect man to come to, as I am willing to help every single one of them to unLocke their own deep, dark barriers."
Concluding with the UKFAIL's motto "I have unLocked my barriers. Have you unLocked yours?", Locke's speech was met with standing ovation. A-Lid Fishy Dildo was seen wiping a tear from his e with a hanker-chief.
UKFAIL will next open a branch of UKFAIL in Harrow to support the local Chinese community.
A
j ¦ . -
WINE INTO WATER: Very Anti-racist
BY GOD, IT'S JESUS!
By TITS MCGEE
LSE has been crippled by a brutal wave of identity theft in recent weeks, which has left many students in a state of understandable shock and distress. Critics of identity securityon campus are in predictable outrage, with one innocent bystander, plucky Brit Steve-o, remarking "It's an absolute disgrace.
I want to be assured that my honest-to-god taxpayers' money is being put to good use, but here is yet more evidence of editorial and administrative incompetence." His reference to SUBSTANDARD editorial actions are thought to be a reference to the widespread belief that lax security at the School's 'other' newspaper, The Beaver, is to blame.
In the first instead, third year BSc Government student Alex White was said to have been left in utter HORROR as her identity was PRISED from her by Alex Young. "He may look innocent, but he's only gone and made off with my whole identity," complained White, who is keen to distance herself from the SUPPOSEDLY RACIST and xenophobic remarks that have been falsely published under her name.
When The Cock approached Alex Young for comment, the slimy fresher promptly did a runner, and was heard shouting "You can print what you like, but I've stolen Alex's name and she's not having it back!" According to preliminary research UNCOVERED by our exclusive sources, not. only has Young been printing articles under the disguise of his namesake, but he has also been seen buying stacks of frozen pizzas in a nearby branch of Sainsbury's. Such behaviour is only likely to add fuel to the fire of critics of-the university's UNPOPULAR immigration policy.
In a possibly related incident, third year surf-and-turf-friendly Ben Phillips has also REPORTEDLY had his identity stolen by second year major maths geek with no personality, Ben Phillips, who has recently used the reputation of his namesake to secure an influential post at a rival media outlet. Neither individual was available for comment.
Wriahts:
vvria cejfe
Boring
ANDERS Wrights fights off competition from Clement Attlee and Michael Foot to be named most boring and uncharismatic politician of the century.
Speaking at the awards ceremony a delighted Wrights told the crowd of bachelors and spinsters that "It feels great."
"I've always tried to do absolutely nothing interesting or controversial in my life and this is vindication for my efforts."
By S. WILD HONKABOOB
NEWS CRAP approaches LSESU about prospective takeover of the Cock's rival Beaver.
In an uncharacteristic move, News Crap, owned by Rupert the Mare, have claimed their motivation is altruistic. Top brasses have become disenchanted at the way LSE students, a key recruitment base, have been exposed to inordinate levels of "truth'.
A spokesman for Crap said" "We are exploring the Beavec avenue. Judging by readership levels The Cock has managed to PENETRATE the market faster than we thought thus the logical course of action is to totally eliminate the competition."
LSESU Secretary General Aled Dilwyn Fisher was supportive of the move. Speaking at an empty UGM he commented "I've always been a big fan of The Cock. I'm GLAD someone is finally standing up against the bias that permeates every crevice of the Beaver."
"Hopefully they will bring along their patented brand of unbiased and objective reporting that has become the company's hallmark over the years."
Beaver Executive Editor Shib-hani Mahtani was unsurprisingly VOCIFEROUS in her opposition. At a protest staged by the LSE Not for Profit organisation she proclaimed: "If this happens, my dream of a career in the media is over."
"I appeal to every self seeking LSE student out there; oppose this takeover, The Cock may be RAPIDLY growing but that does not mean it is any better than us. Just ask any member of the Feminist society."
Editor 1:
I'm going to put that stat into the news
article
Editor 2:
I'm not sure if that's true....
Editor 1:
Fuck it. No one will know
Editor 1:
I'm sure Editor 2 said something about Jews Editor 2:
Yeah, I probably did...
Editor 3:
Who said something about Jews? Is he fit? Will he marry me?
Editor 1:
ARGH! I HATE THE WORLD.
Editor 2:
Stop being so menopausal!
Editor 1:
The world is against me!!!! Not only am | I fucking single, I can't even get a toffee nut latte made properly.
Editor 1:
We have a massive blank page on the
final PDF. Is that ok?
Editor 2:
Erm... no!
Editor 1:
Oops
Editor 1:
Did you see the protest about freeing Gaza today? There were a load of ambulances lined up and they had Palestinian flags and "free gaza" stickers on them Editor 2:
Was it ambulance workers who were leading the protest?
Editor 1:
No... I think it was Palestinian workers? Well I'm not sure. I think they were Palestinian. They weren't white so they must have been Palestinian
Editor 1:
The SU have requisitioned our Hamas money... I MEAN HUMMUS
amok'
Cock
NEWS 0 IN BRIEFS
Sachin fee/s that c'imate change can be
v solved by a ban on
k dairy mnking
Text PAGE3 to COCK72 to get today's guy on your phone AND get a FREE Page 3 video!
Blah blah blah there are some terms and conditions but we don't really care about that because this isn't a real offer. We know, it's a pretty sad case of affairs but there you go. You can try and text that number for your free piece of man meat on your handheld telephonic device, but that's not really cool is it? If you're willing : to do that we might as well
Clare editor and
SCIENCE
CRAZY
The LSE isn't usually known for its pioneering research in science, but recent developments suggest it has become the centrepiece of experiments in human cloning.
Several students have reported seeing multiple copies of 3rd year BMS student Rommy Tommywurhoerfxiedfolefolo wandering around campus. One student recalled seeing him in the queue for a urinal at the same as another student was talking to him in the Three Tuns.
Hummust
be a
misunder
London School of Esthetics
IN KEEPING with its long sending dedication to art, the LSE has hired a famous French designer to redesign the Mental Health Unit. A grand total of £300 million has been allocated to the refurbishment fund, but there is talk of expanding the project.
"I cannot imagine a worthier channel for my fees," says ecstatic student Movema Carjohnny.
Plans include revamping the Wafd, which will be innovatively renamed "The place they eat".
standing
THE COCK's Executive Editor, Shibbi Malivni was ACCUSED today of "running a paper that spreads more lies, propaganda and bias than The Beaver" by the leader of Israeli society Neb Grabinuts.
The scathing rebuke came after Malivni was allegedly seen reporting on a protest outside the Israeli embassy wearing a Hummus Bros scarf. "It was a very cold day and I found a very pretty scarf hanging on a nearby
HOWEVER, a 'source' close to The Cock has revealed that he believes she in fact FOUND the scarf in her boyfriend's sock draw. "Her partner •is a renowned extremist and it would not surprise me if she has succumbed to his overwhelming propensity to TALK ENDLESSLY about how wonderful Hummus is and borrowed from his collection of chickpea paraphernalia" our 'source' said anonymoussavily.
MISUSE
In a remarkable TWIST Union leaders have waded in, with Chancellor George Wets accusing Malivni of long term dealings with the radical group. "It is clear to me that The Cock has long courted Hummus Bros in order to break the siege the Union have placed on The Cock for daring to report our failings. She has obviously endorsed the group and this is a misuse of her position." Wets added that he suspects the
By SETH BROWNY
Editor is USING free food promised by the group for the personal use of herself and her fellow editors at The Cock. Both him and Grabinuts were chickpeeved over the issue.
BACKLASH
Grabinuts has since upped the stakes for The Cock, by writing hundreds of very polite but very cutting letters to Mahlivni in an attempt to "balance" the Cock's coverage. "When I have run out of society members' names to put on my letters I will BOYCOTT The Cock and read The Beaver instead!" he exclaimed.
Mahlivni remains defiant explaining that "the Union cry babies can whine about my editors feeding themselves and Grabinuts' can peddle his SMEAR campaign; but sooner or later they are going to have to negotiate with hummus."
hommas bros
2 for ion uprising!
We have branches in several disputed territories. Or why not just visit our local office in the Queensley Suites?
Pulse Station
manager MIA
; Have you seen them?
By SHIBBY MUTINY
THE HUNT is on for Pulse Station Manager Rob Charredcock and Clare Editor-in-chief, Sean Master-baker.
Charredcock allegedly escaped to Calcutta, where he was to attend a wedding. However, two weeks after his disappearance, he is yet to resurface. Other Pulse managers have started questioning the intent of his trip.
Alex Whitehead said, "Rob is such a massive dickhead. It's not like he ever does any work ever anyway, but to run away at the most busy time of year? What a lazy bum. Bet he never even made it to Calcutta. Bet he's still sitting on his sofa watching star trek in bluray."
Editor of the Beaver, Shibhani Mahtani said, "Despite Rob constantly boasting about the number of "unique listeners" Pulse radio has, how can anyone take Pulse seriously when he himself has disappeared?!"
Similarly, Masterbaker allegedly ran off to the African wilderness, to realise his true calling of spiritual healing through interpretive dance and tribal chants. This unfortunate disappearance comes just before Clare Market Review is due to launch.
Sphyllis Cheesecake, an ex-editor of Clare Market Review, had only one thing to say: "Predictable."
Masterbaker and Charddedcock could not be reached at time of print.
Cock
I Tuesday, December 8, 2009
SHOCK! SECONDS
ARE
FAT MAN WINS EATING CONTEST
By OVERGROWN BOY
the ball, so to speak, are dismissed immediately by the under-fire captain, who just says 'what do ewe know about ovine relationships anyway - you're English'.
Personal issues aside, it would seem that the players have taken it upon themselves to correct the balance in the club, and a recent win propelled them to a higher league position than the thirds, who had been riding high for several weeks. The pressure is off Dewi for now, but we all know that if the thirds beat the seconds in their clash later in the season, as it is widely being predicted they will, it could be 'nos da' for Mr Evans.
ACTUALLY
TEAM
RFC
THE sporting world was last night in shock when an eating contest between a fat rugby player and a skinny footballer was won by the fat man.
Sam 'STD' Keeping challenged OIlie 'Krispy Kreme' Townsend to a race to finish a 'My Old Dutch' Turkey pancake (off the Christmas special menu) late last night, and the outcome was regrettable. Townsend demolished the pancake in under five minutes, whilst Sam could only manage three quarters of his before pussying out and heading home 'feeling ill'. He later claimed that a mosquito bite on his left forearm was to blame for his poor performance, but experts are sceptical. Following Sam's retirement, croquet player Sachin 'Big Man' Patel stepped up and took second place, as the only other competitor to finish his pancake.
When questioned on whether the speed technique employed by the eventual winner came at the price of not enjoying the pancake and its flavour, Townsend had the following to say:
'Absolutely not. 1 find that the buzz and pump I get from the speed of consuption, and the satisfaction i get from utterly destroying my rivals more than compensates for the fact that I barely get to taste it.'
When asked about his. failure, Sam could only say '111, arm, bite.....the shame' before shuffling off to the loos, presumably to throw up.
OUR EDITORS WANT TO I WISH YOU A
, MERRY CHRISTMAS
1	AND
| HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
After a confusing run of fixtures in which the LSE 3rd XV appeared to be superior to the 2nd XV, recent developments appear to suggest that the 2nd XV are in fact justified in calling themselves 'The Seconds'.
The scathing rebuke came after Malivni was allegedly seen reporting on a protest outside the Israeli embassy wearing a Hummus Bros scarf. "It was a very cold day and I found a very pretty scarf hanging on a nearby railing and just threw it on," insists the editor.
By HANNAH HOOVER
SHEEP
Further confusion was thrown into the equation when a series of exclamations were heard coming from his room, including 'We can get right back up there' and 'You need to be right *^up his arse'. Dewi later claimed that these ^were rugby related terms, to be used on yhe pitch to rally the troops. However tdoubt was cast on this claim when ktraces of wool and sheep droppings Lwere found in his room swept lastily under his bed. Rumours jf an orgy are rife, but Dewi "^maintains that he is 'a one •sheep guy'. Reports that he has taken his eye off
OVERGROWN BOY SETH BROWNY SYPHILLIS CHEESECAKE BENJAMIN FLIPNIPS ZEESNAP HARASSMENT HANNAH HOOVER S. WILD HONKABOOB M'DEAR IMSORRY CHERRY LUNGS SACKIN MOUTH SHIBBY MUTINY TITS MCGEE ALISTAIR PELTONE
When questioned on whether it was his unorthodox hair style that was perhaps responsible for his players lack of respect for him, Dewi described it as 'my pride and joy, I feel like Orlando Bloom. And the women love it'. However Tim Cooper, currently serving a life sentence for hiding a netballer in his closet for 3 weeks so his flatmates didn't find out about her, sent us this message 'Its a ginger perm, utterly ridiculous. I heard he described it as wavy flowing chestnut locks, with sunkissed blonde natural highlights. I mean how believable is that - I heard they don't even get sunshine in Wales...!?'
Following a dismal start to the season which many attributed to weak leadership on the part of the ginger perm sporting Welshman Dewi Evans.
SHIT CAPTAIN
The Cock has since heard that Dewi rigged the election outcome when running against African candidate Sayo Mugabe-Fo-lawiyo. Oh the irony, however he came to be in this position, he has lead a once and successful outfit (one which aarrowly missed out on promotion the Season before) to near ruin, thrusting them into the depths of a relegation battle few believe he had the strength, or grasp of the English language, to lead them out of.
GINGER
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8 December 2009 | The Beaver
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Mapping out the Middle East
Ali Auda provides a balanced overview of a region of great global significance
The Middle East is a region of contrasts. From the dazzling skyscrapers in the Emirates to the conflict ridden regions of North Yemen and Palestine, it is a region where the three major religions of the world all originate, and which continues to dominate the international political and economic arena. Yet it is far from homogenous, with different countries having distinct cultural and social histories and experiences - and this is likely to dictate their future development.
Iraq
The Iraqi state is attempting to emerge from the worst terrorism that any country in the world has ever faced. The government of Nuri Al-Maliki has been somewhat successful in maintaining control over most of the country, following the American withdrawal.
One issue that may affect Iraq's chances of moving forward is the potential conflict that can erupt there. This is the fate of Kirkuk, an oil-rich city located in Northern Iraq that sits on around 4 per cent of the world's oil supply. Yet this territory is highly divided on sectarian grounds, with Kurds wanting to incorporate it into their autonomous region, while the Arabs and Turkmens claim it should stay under the authority of Baghdad. This is a potentially explosive situation that can pit the Kurdish security forces, the Peshmerga, against the Iraqi Security Forces (ISF). If conflict ensues, it will shatter the fragile peace in the North. Yet, by transforming Kirkuk into a shared region where Baghdad and Arbil both decide on its issues, conflict can be pre-empted. Given the increasing trade between the two regions, there is a degree of mutual dependency. Should
oil capacity rise, both Baghdad and Arbil would gain extra revenue. Arbil and Baghdad would need to develop a relationship like Edinburgh and London, i.e. a mutually beneficial one.
Iran
The prospect of an attack over Iran grows with every ounce of uranium that is enriched. The recent move by the Iranian government to build 10 more uranium plants has alarmed the West, with Germany now calling for further sanctions. Yet, this is unlikely to deter the Islamic Republic, which has been under 30 years of sanctions, in stark contrast to Iraq, which was reduced to a pre-industrial state when sanctions were slapped onto it from 1991-2003.
Yet, despite the achievements that Iran has managed under sanctions, it is still not in its interests to go to war with the USA, NATO, or the UN. Its military capabilities, despite its development under sanctions, is still inferior to the West.
To use the threat of sanctions and indeed place them on any country is unhelpful, as they only serve to increase the misery of the masses, who have no influence over politics. The idea that the people will 'rise up' against the government is fantastic to say the least. The West's hard stance on Iran will only unite the Iranian people behind their government. Any attack on Iran will have far reaching negative consequences on the region. Unilateral military action is not the answer, and retaliation by Iran will be deadly considering 80 per cent of the world's oil supplies pass through the Strait of Hormuz.
It is every country's right that they are able to develop nuclear power for peaceful purposes. Yet it is in Iran's interests to ac-
It is far from homogenous, with different countries having distinct cultural and social histories and experiences - and this is likely to dictate their future development
cept the proposal put forward by the P5 + 1. This way sanctions will almost certainly not be elevated, and with an increased climate of trust with the West the Iranian economy will be allowed to prosper. Iran's government is afraid that the enriched uranium that leaves the country might not be returned. However, it would occur on the world stage, with transparency that all nations should be able to see.
Israel and Palestine
Israel exists and Jewish people live there. That is a fact that we must all recognise. However, having said that, this should not preclude the Palestinians from having their ovvn independent state.
The economic peace policy that Benjamin Netanyahu has pursued has, some people would say, had success in the West Bank. However, Israel's continued settlement of the West Bank, contravening countless UN Resolutions, is detrimental to the peace process. For Netanyahu to say that the Palestinians must recognise Israel as a Jewish state and then announce the building of 900 settlements in Gilo, South of East Jerusalem, is self-contradictory. Continuing to build settlements in the West Bank makes the prospect of a viable independent Palestinian state more remote, which is ultimately not in Israel's interest. It only leaves the option of a 'one-state solution', which eventually will be overrun by the massive growth in the Palestinian population.
To move forward, Israel and the Palestinians should offer concessions to one another. For the Palestinians this means the reconcilement of Hamas and Fatah so that this creates a credible peace partner. For Israel, the concessions would undoubtedly have to be greater, considering
they are vastly stronger than the Palestinians. This means ceasing all settlement activity. The question of Jerusalem is more controversial. For Israel to call it an 'eternal capital' is to prolong the status quo; at least the Palestinian claim to the Eastern part must be acknowledged.
While these policy recommendations work in theory, putting them into action will not be as easy. Enough bloodshed and occupation has occurred in the area. Israel as the larger, organised power must take a lead on this issue. No international observers are needed - the negotiations should be between Israelis and the Palestinians. After all, it is they who have the most at stake, in terms of the safety and security of their future generations.
The Swiss government sponsored a report in January which said that violence in the Middle East cost the region around $12 trillion in missed economic growth and development from 1991 to 2010. It has been noted that during relatively peaceful periods in the 1990s both Israel and the Palestinian territories had very healthy rates of economic growth. The report concluded that "Iraq has been the biggest loser", noting that it had been in three wars — with Iran, Kuwait and the West — since 1980. It forecasted Iraq's actual Gross Domestic Product this year to be $59 billion, contrasting this with the opportunity loss since the first Gulf War of 1991 which has been $2.3 trillion. Imagine the number of lives that could have been saved in these countries by putting this ' , money to good use. If the whole Middle East gets its act together and develops an EU-style union, the sky would be the limit.
i6
The Beaver | 8 December 2009
Features

Sneha Kotecha explains the economic background behind the downfall of the dream
With stories about bankers' record bonuses dominating recent headlines, the events that have unravelled in Dubai over the past week serve as a stark and timely reminder that the effects of the credit crisis have yet to make themselves fully known. The question is: how did it all go so wrong? More importantly, what are the future ramifications for the rest of the world?
Dubai is orie of seven self-governing states which form the United Arab Emirates. Unlike its neighbour, Abu Dhabi, Dubai does not possess significant oil reserves, and as such has diversified into non-oil sectors such as real estate, tourism and finance. Before the credit crisis, asset prices were soaring and the emirate was seeing a flood of investment, encouraging developers to sell properties which that were yet to be constructed and financing this with cheap credit. Dubai seemed unstoppable in terms of growth, and its aspirations were reflected in the words of the CEO of property company Nakheel: "When conventional wisdom says no, we say yes and make it happen".
Even just a year ago, during the world's worst financial crisis to date, Dubai was lavishly celebrating the opening of the Atlantis hotel. However, the party soon came to an end due to a decline in tourism and property prices tumbling up to 50 per
cent from their peak. Investors were left confused as local papers tried to spin an optimistic outlook for the state, while their international counterparts were painting a bleaker picture. The lack of transparency meant that investors were unaware of the truth that Dubai, having one of the largest debt per capita ratios in the world, was in trouble to the tune of $80 billion.
So when Dubai World, the emirate's main investment vehicle, requested for banks to suspend its debt repayments for six month, global markets went into disarray. Fear spread over what would happen if Dubai World were to default on its $59 billion debt as, to the shock of investors, Dubai announced it would not rescue the group.
Dubai World's troubles began when Nakheel, the company at the heart of the group, found that banks were unwilling to lend them money. Coupled with the fact that the demand for property had dropped, their two main avenues of finance being cut off. At the same time, the company had mounting liabilities as they were building projects which they could no longer afford, including a $3.5 billion Islamic bond, or "sukuk", that Nakheel was due to repay on December 14.
Most people had assumed that Dubai or the Federal Government of Abu Dhabi would step in to pay off Dubai World's debt, seeing as it is a government-backed company. But the Government of Dubai
Unlike its neighbour, Abu Dhabi, Dubai does not possess significant oil reserves, and as such has diversified into non-oil sectors such as real estate, tourism and finance
was quick to distance itself from underwriting Dubai World's debt, claiming that it was private and not sovereign debt.
Even though it is within their means, Abu Dhabi has promised only $10 billion as bailout money.
Thus it is on tenterhooks that the rest of the world watches to see if an agreement on a bailout can be reached. While Dubai experienced a slowdown in growth to approximately 6 per cent from highs of 15 per cent, this was still markedly higher than the growth rates of other countries, a fact which encouraged banks to "get in on the action". The UK in particular has an aggregate exposure to Dubai World of $5 billion, with the Royal Bank of Scotland, HSBC, Standard Chartered and Lloyds Banking Group being the most exposed. This is adding to the fears that Britain's troubled banks will suffer another blow to their finances.
There is also a growing concern that Greece could be the next country to default on its debt after the scare in Dubai. Greece's budget deficit is expected to reach 12.7 per cent of the country's gross GDP this year, which is 9 per cent above the EU guidelines, as the government struggles to reduce public spending and reform the economy. Being part of the Euro means that Greece cannot even rely on devaluing their currency to help restore the balance.
So what lies in the future for Dubai? Well in my humble opinion, there is still
hope. Abu Dhabi can still come and save the day and even if it doesn't, Dubai has an advanced infrastructure and liberal culture in comparison to other neighbouring regions in the Middle East which would allow it to pick itself up.
The emirate needs to come up with a credible way to restructure its debts and put its financial affairs in order before people will feel confident in investing there again, but it is uncertain as to how this can be accomplished. Maybe there needs to be a return to pure Islamic finance, based on the principles of avoidance of uncertainty and gambling, so that the type of speculation that led to the emergence of the property bubble will not occur. These are no small feats and a long path to recovery lies ahead. But if they can be achieved, then the dream may not be
8 December 2009 | The Beaver


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Sachin Patel discusses the decadence on which the prosperity of Dubai was built
I have only ever visited Dubai once, and it was certainly not for the purpose of making a leisure-based getaway to the famed paradisaical miracle, emerging from the inhospitable sand and sea in a horizon-smashing wave of skyscrapers and opulence. I was there to teach schoolchildren about debating, in a three-day workshop that left little time for the leisurely perusal of shopping malls and decadent architectural flourishes. But the sad thing about Dubai is that no matter how few opportunities may arise for you to gaze out from the car wihdow and take stock of the unbelievable artifice stretching out in every direction, these brief glimpses will ram down your throat the inescapable feeling that you are a witness to a hyper-real triumph of style over substance. As I was whisked from hotel to school to hotel in the back of a floating Teutonic barge, the analogy of not just a house, but an illusory empire built upon the sand, repeatedly struck me as significant. There were several moments when the twelve-lane freeway cars speed along would suddenly duck underground; pass beneath a structurally impossible junction; enter into a hospital-tiled Hades. In these situations, I was struck by the rather unpleasant feeling of being buried beneath this empire of sand foundations. For what if the dazzling constructions above should take a tumble
in stormy weather?
That is exactly what has happened to this once-great Emirate. By some chance, it was during my visit to the area that the seeds of discontent were beginning to germinate, their first shoots tentatively emerging from a repressive political system that bathes its population in a soothing miasma of propaganda and virtual dictatorship. From the somewhat exposed vantage point in my hotel room, I saw not just a panorama of broken records, but also a cloudy haze of air pollution and dust and, in nearer vision, a confusing jumble of half-abandoned construction sites. Contractors and construction workers caked in the grimy by-products of the building trade stumbled between cement mixers, trucks, and stupendous piles of steel rods in burdensome protective clothing. Markedly, however, their pace was slow and surprisingly leisurely - in contrast to my own frantic schedule of teaching - because the truth was that there was nothing left to build.
Or, at least, no money left to build with. The shells of hotels and office-blocks and multi-platform social spaces are strewn across Dubai, with no caring hands left to finish them; to make them match up to the glossy artists' impressions in architectural plans. When you build an empire on sand and when the sand begins to crumble, it is physical assets that are
When you build an empire on sand and when the sand begins to crumble, it is physical assets that are notable in their degeneration
notable in their degeneration. For how long will Dubai's flawless freeways slither through the desert in such fine condition? How many commuters will be left to ride the state-of-the-art metro when it is fully completed? Will tumbleweed blow unhindered through empty classrooms and labs in otherwise pristine and enviable schools?
To drive through Dubai when night falls is to serenely waft through a dystopian nightmare a la Blade Runner. Whereas in Ridley Scott's film, or indeed in Philip K. Dick's original novel, the reader is placed directly into a scene of undefinable terror or foreboding, in Dubai the fear is not just unspecified but temporally and geographically distant. A casual glance would suggest it impossible that such an environment could be at risk of financial collapse and the wholesale questioning of a suspicious economic model. The people are happy; the shop-fronts are gleaming; neon lights pierce through the light evening mist. But somewhere in this reclaimed city, stolen from the harsh tendencies of nature, a local Emirati might be driving their supercar into an innocent pedestrian crossing the road. Or else the seawater, channelled into an artificial island system resembling a palm tree, might be stagnating and festering, causing an unwelcome inconvenience to residents. Perhaps more seriously, some
distance from the city, a struggling band of migrant workers, conned into parting with modest savings to cross the Indian Ocean by illicit means, will be scraping plates or restlessly turning in their sleep, fighting off the miserable, restricted reality of their breezeblock shack with overflowing sewage and broken plumbing.
To me, the premises upon which Dubai was built were harrowing and incompatible with the real world. In the absence of any natural resources, the Emirate's rapid rate of expansion was fuelled by the greed and materialism of wealthy foreign businesses and investors. When their demand for financial services and luxuries dried up, so did the primary source of income for this heavily indebted society. The results may be unpleasanfVfor Dubai's pampered inhabitants, and the droves of consumerist tourists who flock there for unparalleled serenity in retail therapy, but this inconvenience will be nothing coir\-y pared to the wider miseries suffered by ordinary working people elsewhere in the world, and certainly a drop in the ocean compared to the life of indenture and near-slavery shackling migrant workers in these dubious economy that has little notion of human rights and the price of a life. Dubai, I have no sympathy foryour inevitable demise.
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The Beaver | 8 December 2009
Features
Vladimir Unkovski-Korica talks to John Rose about being a socialist at the LSE
We had witnessed^ a world-wide mass
movement that came close to taking power -1 don't want to exaggerate that -1 don't know how close
socialism meant: equality, getting rid of private enterprise. But was state industry socialist or was it something else? This was an unresolved argument. The mines and the railways had been nationalised, but it was not clear what this meant. It was clear to the IS group, because we regarded nationalised industry as state capitalist. Nationalised industry at the time improved conditions for workers, because the unions were very strong and that gave the illusion that workers had control. They did have a degree of power but it was a compromise between capital and labour. Of course, in the end, that compromise had to be broken by the capitalist class because workers were getting too much.
How do you think it is relevant to talk about Chris for all the differences across the generations and the role of the sixties generation?
The reasons are 1968 itself. We had witnessed a world-wide mass movement that came close to taking power - I don't want to exaggerate that - I don't know how close. What I do know is that there was a sense of a world movement led by workers with a vision of liberation. That was incredibly strong. It went on for a long time. May '68 was just the high point. But that carried on through until the mid 1970s when Chris coined a phrase: the 'crisis of militancy'. Essentially, capitalist structures killed it off but for those 8-9 years, if you'd understood the theory and had taken part in practice, then you had a body of experience in your brain that was there to serve you in later life. It might annoy you very much later on because it stopped you from making the sort of compromises that would have led you to leading a much better life than you might have done. But I mean that period was incredibly important.
Chris went on to write many books -would you recommend any of them to the current generation?
Obviously, I recommend his 1968 book, "The Fire Last Time". Without doubt the two most important books are "The People's History of the World" on the one hand and "Zombie Capitalism" on the other. Both tell us a great deal about Chris and his contribution. They
are full of innovation. An example are his chapters on the origins of capitalism. It is worthwhile always to emphasise Chris's ability to summarise and simplify without losing the essence - we have to pause and emphasise that - because many of the books Chris read had the most diabolical academic jargon. He had to cut through all of that, attack it, but reproduce their argument and knock it down accessibly. And Chris was not afraid to challenge orthodoxy. "Zombie Capitalism" centrally revolves around the role of finance capital. Superficially, it appears that in the current crisis of capitalism we find ourselves at the moment, the banks and finance capitalism are to blame. Harman's argument is not the Zombie Banks, but was capitalism itself. He goes back to basics and takes the reader through Marx's basic tenets and their application to the history of capitalism. Chris is quite critical of the Bolsheviks, arguing that they didn't really explore the underlying issue of the falling rate of profit as a source of crisis. Now that's called innovation.
Both you and Chris came back to speak at the LSE frequently to do talks. Why? How crucial is LSE to social change today?
LSE was an important part of my development. That's why I organised a little memorial around '68. Chris would not come - he would not have Meghnad Desai present because Desai supported the war in Iraq and became a New Labour baron. But my view was Desai had played a very important role in '68. As a young academic he took great risk to come and support us in person, unlike Miliband who said Very good, carry on'. You can't pick and choose who comes and who doesn't if they played a role! Tariq Ali also refused to come because of Desai. Chrisfinally came reluctantly and every single one of the oldies insisted they hadn't changed their views.
Then, back in 2002-2003 the LSE had enormous student contingents for the Stop the War demos. All these things are a ' * re-affirmation of the struggles of 1968.
Things have changed, but there are always individuals who carry on the struggle from 1968 and who can always help ignite a new student movement to tackle all the problems you face as a generation: fees, war, racism, fascism, you name it.
Remembering Chris Hartman
hris Harman, LSE alumnus and veteran of the struggles of the 1960s, recently died in Cairo and was buried in London. Editor of "Socialist Worker" for over two decades, he frequently spoke for the Socialist Worker Student Society at LSE. Here John Rose, fellow alumnus and author of "The Myths of Zionism", reminisces about his colleague and their shared experiences as activists.
Let's begin by talking about when and how you met Chris Harman and why you think it's important to talk about him.
We met in the LSE canteen in 1966. Every time I came here, there was a table where the LSE Socialist Society sat. They were completely mad, screaming and shouting at each other. Communism, socialism, the working class, the Soviet Union, Mao, Trotsky, Stalin, Gramsci. It was very intense. As it turned out, only three of the twelve to fifteen were in the International Socialism (IS) group [precursor to the Socialist Workers' Party], The row they were having was essentially about two things.
(The first was), what had happened to communism? If it wasn't communism, what was it? This is 1966 and the world is divided between so-called and western capitalism, with the Third World tremendously influenced by communism in different forms.
The second question linked to it was the role of the working class. How do you effect socialist change? Is it through parliament? Is it by using the state? Or is it (according to) the classical Marxist view (of) the working class as an agency of change or self-change? People like me were incredibly naive - my parents were liberal, my brother was in the Labour party, strongly Zionist, and I myself had walked straight out of a kibbutz to the LSE canteen. I was fascinated by this table and frightened by it. Then a movement took off, led by the LSE Socialist society. The IS (members) were extremely effective agitators, with Chris in the leadership. Their agitation focused on blocking the appointment of the new director appointed by the governors of LSE - the then governor of Rhodesia. The IS leadership was incredibly effective and the Socialist Society (SocSoc) ended up with an occupation in
April of 1967. Although there were three to four leaders, all different, Chris' role was central.
Chris was a fantastic educator. I described him at the funeral as a prac-tioner of Marxism both as an art and as a science. Marxism as a science challenges dogmatic Marxism, in 1966 Stalinist Marxism. Marxism as an art means interpreting this science for ordinary people and getting them to take part in their own understanding and role in changing the world. Chris was central to this self-reflection - students become the agents of their own change. All of them thought the Soviet Union was an advance on capitalism but Chris, relying heavily on the work of Tony Cliff, put the argument for the IS group that Russia was state capitalist. Beginning to understand that was its own form of intellectual liberation. The problem for Trotskyists was: how do you begin to understand the East European satellites of the Soviet Union and the role of the USSR in the developing world?
Chris and Cliff challenged the dominant explanation personified by Tariq Ali and the International Marxism Group that socialism was going to be carried by the peasantry in the Third World - a revamped Maoism. It was Chris and Cliff's strength that they not only maintained that argument but that they also kept leadership of the student movement at the same time. The forces of'68 May in France were mind-boggling for someone like me, who had heard the argument in abstract. To suddenly have 10 million workers on strike, ignited by the students, was a mind-blowing experience. It beat any of the drugs then floating around!
That was the turning point - it proved the Chris-Cliff line.
How different was the world then - you speak of the left as a major factor in life but most people at LSE today may not see it that way today.
Communist influence then was very important as well as the labour left. For example you had a Labour government two years into office after 13 years of Tory rule. What you say is very true - it was taken for granted by millions of people that socialism was possible. The question was whether by reform/parliament or workers' revolution. We all knew what
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8 December 2009 | The Beaver
The Big Five domestic mammals had originated elsewhere?
Raj an Patel
Among the big herbivorous domestic mammals, five are of global importance: the sheep; the goat; the cow; the pig; and the horse. How much of history can be explained by the fact that wild ancestors of these 'Major Five' lived only on the Eurasian landmass? Put another way: if the first cows had come from Mexico or Sub Saharan Africa, would the world be a very different place?
Humanity's story is intimately linked to the ancient, unequal distribution of docile herbivores and other domesticable resources. Without it, the technologies that permitted Eurasians to be the great colonisers of history -steel, the printing press, resistance to certain epidemic diseases - would have grown up elsewhere in the world, or might never have existed. Cortez and Pizarro would not have crushed the Aztecs and Incas; Meso-americans would have conquered Spain. In this parallel world, today aspiring European economists would travel to African centres of learning for the best education money could buy.
Of course, it's a long road from cows to the Cape Town School of Economics. In his 1997 book Guns, Germs and Steel, the American scientist Jared Diamond suggests one chain of causality that can link the two. He argues that the relatively large number of easily domesticated plants and animals in Eurasia - particularly in the Fertile Crescent area of the Levant and Mesopotamia - led Eurasians to be the first to abandon a hunter-gatherer lifestyle in favour of food production.
The implications of this early transition were huge. Food production allowed the accumulation of surpluses, which were used to feed craftsmen, soldiers and administrators. These groups existed to develop new technology and efficiently organise the bigger, denser settlements that grew up around food producing centres. This can be seen to explain why later Eurasians were the first to develop important technologies, such as the steel and boats they used to colonise the rest of the world and export their institutions.
Equally important was Europeans' resistance to disease and the tragic susceptibility of the colonised to European infections. Millennia of living in close proximity to livestock had transformed Eurasians into vectors of disease and endowed them with resistance to a plethora of nasty germs. Far fewer Aztecs, Incas and Native Americans were killed by European steel than by the twelve European diseases that came to the New World. In contrast, the livestock-less Americans - fewer of whom lived in the big, dense settlements needed to evolve epidemic diseases - are not thought to have passed a single lethal infection back to Europe.
Hence, an intervention 40,000 years ago that randomly distributed the Major Five mammals outside Eurasia would have had colossal implications. Most importantly for the world's current distribution of wealth and power, it might have transformed history's colonisers into the colonised.
Discarded diseases
Anand Bhat has found a cost-effective way to save the world
promoting the NTD cause. MSF's Access to Essential Medicines Campaign now has a Break the Silence website for Chagas, "celebrating" 100 years of neglect of this disabling disease and explaining how be better informed in order to take action.
Chagas is one of the dozen or so "neglected tropical diseases" that affect the bottom billion of humanity
In an era of massive budget deficits in the OECD, how can we and how should we prioritize our official development assistance? A very good case is made to prioritize these diseases over expensive programs treating chronic diseases like HIV/AIDS. Treatments are usually only needed once a year, and can be administered without functioning health systems. Drugs cost only a few pence per year while
the First World, do not travel to the First World, or infect soldiers stationed in the tropics, little research occurs on these drugs. Medicenes Sans Frontieres (MSF) calls this the 90/10 gap. 90 per cent of the world's research goes for conditions that afflict the 10 per cent in the developed world while only 10 per cent of the world's research goes for 90 per cent of those living in the developing world.
Because the populations affected are so small and impoverished, there is no incentive for pharmaceutical companies to research treatments for these drugs. But even for an NGO to order a batch of 50,000 pills for these treatments is difficult, because it costs a drug company too much to produce such a small batch of pills. The cooperation of drug company donation programs is key in this field.
NTDs do not have a Bono championing them, and when Prince William got shistosomiasis while on a safari in Africa, the World Health Organization's Department of Control of Neglected Tropical Disease wrote the court to ask for his help in publicizing the plight of those with a very treatable condition. The palace did not respond.
However, the Carter Center has championed the elimination of onchocerciasis and river blindness in the Americas, with donations of Mectizan from Merck & Co. Jimmy Carter has been instrumental in
producing dramatic health improvements. In Nigeria, successfully de-wormed areas are greener on satellite images because farmers are now healthy enough to farm better.
These health causes should not, in the end, compete with each other in a zero-sum game I believe. Fighting to take more of the AIDS budget for NTD's while the bankers enjoy their tax-funded bonuses and Christmas parties is a bit parochial.
Their ultimate dream, said World Health Organization NTD Director Dr. Lorenzo Savioli, "is not a new program, but to join the Global Fund and receive the same grants as AIDS, tuberculosis, and malaria do." That would be something to make Carlos Chagas proud.
Four years ago in Bolivia when I volunteered in a regional hospital, I saw a disease that regularly destroyed the hearts and bowels of rural villagers everyday. AIDS? No, nothing sexy like that. Malaria? Nope. Tuberculosis? No, not anything in the Global Fund. Or that receives any attention.
Chagas disease kills 14,000 people a year and infects 10-15 million, and it turned 100 years old this year. Sadly, there has been little progress in the research and treatment of the disease in these one hundred years since Brazilian doctor Carlos Chagas discovered it. There are two drugs for the disease, both over thirty years old. Both have highly toxic side (but not lethal) effects akin to cancer chemotherapy, but it is difficult to know when to treat because there are very poor diagnostic tests for the disease. All of this must vex the single pediatric cardiologist in Bolivia who has to treat the thousands of affected children's hearts.
Chagas disease is one of the dozen or so "neglected tropical diseases" (NTDs) that affect the bottom billion of humanity, primarily highly-impoverished rural dwellers in Latin America, Asia, and Africa. They cause 20 per cent of the developing world's death, disability, and disease.
Because these diseases do not exist in
A List of Neglected Tropical Diseases
(NTDs)
Buruli ulcer
Chagas disease
Dengue Fever
Guinea-Worm Disease
Fascioliasis
Sleeping Sickness
Leishmaniasis
Leprosy
Lymphatic Filariasis
Onchocerciasis (River Blindness)
Shistosomiasis
Trachoma
Yaws
Copenhagen consensus: wishful thinking?
The world now stands poised as its leaders gather in the fresh-temperatured town of Copenhagen; perhaps a not so effective reminder of the planet's ills. We can, over the next week, expect grinding negotiations. Much is at stake in the space of these few days. And yet, with a hundred countries of participation, the task seems almost too enormous to consider. Copenhagen, as the Danish Prime Minister underlines, might well have to become 'Hopenhagen'.
However, thus far the optimism runs high, even among the ranks of usually dooming environmentalists. Developed and developing countries alike have made signs of good will, with the latest offer of South Africa to cut the growth of its carbon emissions down by a third over the next decade. The China/G77 bloc are even suggesting to shift the target down to 1.5
degrees. This ambitious intentions will however require a much forceful backing from developed nations. This, added to the request of funds in order to aid developing countries with emission reductions will probably require too much.
One can always hope, though. There is indeed an imbalance between the creators of the damage and those whom are now asked to be doubly be punished by it -through taking on most of the impacts of climate change, and having to curb their growth in order to limit it.
And there is the unending conundrum. How are we to limit poverty and the rise of temperatures simultaneously? It becomes problematic when one considers asking a Bangladeshi family to cut down on their electricity consumption-when their access to this resource is nonexistent. Governments are still striving to provide a better living standard to many of
their citizens, and this inevitably requires carbon-growth.
The plan is to help developing countries to 'skip a step' in their industrial evolution. Wealthy nations must invest heavily in green technologies, and allow access to the developed goods universally. Currently, the lack lies not in innovation, but in financial means. Another solution will be the further development green taxation- creating the incentives necessary for consumers to substitute away from polluting goods. In some countries, suggestions have been made for income tax to be dramatically reduced in favour of instating a fiscal system favouring environmentally friendly products. This would in turn perhaps help contribute to funding such an investment; with the worry of great budget deficits though, voters must make sure that this is one of their government's priorities.
Amidst all of the excited buzz, no one has yet considered the ecological impact of the conference itself. Flying in magnitudes of world leaders, with legions of civil servants in trail seems far from a fuel efficient technique. Let us wish that the result of the discussions will at least make the whole event carbon neutral.
V.
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Features Editor
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Clare Market Review: a history
Sean Baker, editor in chief, tells us of the journal's retrospectacular destination '
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In 1905 the world was a very different place but one fundamental thing was the same; the London School of Economics stood tall in the skyline of higher education establishments. Fabian founders of our educational stronghold; the Webbs and Bernie Shaw, pondered the responsibility of universities in informing the future in every possible sense. At that time LSE was proud to place itself at the forefront of student media through its publishing of Clare Market Review, the journal of the university. In the one hundred years since the role of'the student' has evolved in some ways and stayed true to its roots in others. As it was at the beginning of the 20th century, Clare Market Review is a multi-disciplinary platform, hoping to offer steps to the stage for the future Nobel prize winners, 02 arena fillers and enigma code-crackers. Allowing all students the opportunity to spill their minds onto an inky page; provoking upturned tables and smashed champagne flutes along the way. Clare aims to accommodate the interests and dreamings of the student body of the LSE, be they polemical, photographical, plethorific-perspectival, pornagraphical or beyond.
PAST
From it's initiation in 1905 after several score years of success Clare took the briefest of sojourns from the heady seventies through to the Jedwardian era of the late noughties. Last year's reawakening saw Clare establish a strong brand, attempting
to encompass all previous carnations of the journal; incorporating social-theory, economical critiques, resplendent ret-rospectaculars, short fiction and poetry all wrapped-up in a heavily designed, perfectly bound package. In the process of a producing three issues of the journal, any suggestion of a flawless first year back on the LSE student media scene would be heavily flawed. There were hitches both small and large aplenty. Most significantly fundamental oversights in the readability of the journal was mad, plaguing Clare's designers with guilt as the exceptional submissions we were welcoming weren't given the stage and clarity they deserved nor promised.
Clare continues to be confronted by confusion from the students about her purpose and intentions. With this problem resting in our lap, we scratch our craniums and question our own existence; 'Who are we and what are we doing here?' The answer, 'you tell us.' It is the needs and wants of the student-body that Clare hopes to satisfy and without knowledge of such things she'll stumble far from her intended path. Suggestions of all shapes and sizes, tones and tomes are welcomed. Just pigeon-post them our way or send them to su.claremarketreview@lse.ac.uk.
These problems aside, the journal was greeted with a largely positive reaction across the university last year. The hard-work of all involved being recognised in the form of not none, not one, not three but two Guardian Student Media Awards
short listings; the height of respect in terms of commending the work of student mediarites. Clare strutted away, her head held high with just the one award in hand; Jessi Tabalba, ex-Clare editorial board member and contributing writer was recognised for her fantastic piece with the Diversity Writer of the year award. Jessi plans to spend her winnings on a new
Clare Market Review is a multi-displinary platform, offering steps to the stage for future Nobel prize winners, O2 arena fillers and enigma code-crackers
bicycle and hopes her prize of a plac-ment at the Guardian will lead to future journalistic success. Our short listing in the design category remained just that and nothing more.
PRESENT
Aiming to build on the strong work completed by the board last year (and hopefully drag more silverware from the backward glancing Guardian gods) Clare has hit her stride this term and is desperately Usain Bolting to the horizon of the student media landscape. As ever there's hurdles and javelins to dodge along the way but our dreams of satisfying the seemingly insatiable thirsts of the LSE students are (hopefully) closer to reality than ever before.
In the most recent issue of the journal Clare explores the theme of "boundaries." At the LSE, the focus is often on breaking them down in pursuit of a common passion, but we find that destroying barriers often means confronting them head on. With a fresh-faced editorial board nestled into a brand-spanking new office, striving to smash through glass ceilings and leap beyond expectations wherever possible.
Developing the strong online presence that was initiated last year, Clare came to recognise that users were seeking a more spontaneous and impulsive means of engaging with the cyberwaves. Earlier this term Clare went live with Clive! Employing the prolific and overused blog format Clive! looks to reflect, cement and complement the purpose of the journal proper. Students are encouraged to make for the Clive! coast, seafearing vessel in hand and battle through the tsunami of shit cruising the cyberwaves, submitting provocative content and engaging in intel-
lectual discourse. Make for claremarket-review.com to find out more.
FUTURE
As we look to the immediate future Clare is hoping to continue to accommodate but also challenge the needs, wants and expectations of LSE students. The New Year will see the journal launch the first of it's special projects. In conjunction with the upcoming exhibition by photographer Andrew Jackson, Clare will be producing a condensed publication dealing with the subject of immigration. Focussing on a similar theme the exhibition is to be held next term in the Atrium Gallery, curated by LSE Arts.
GIVE THE GIFT OF CLARE THIS CHRISTMAS
Issue One of this year's Clare ie available on Houghton Street now and will be so from 11:30am - 2:00pm every-day until our tap of intellectual fulfilment and creative endeavour runs dry. As ever, copies are limited so get down thi early to pick-up your free copy of the LS Students' Union Journal.
Copies will also be available from selected LSE watering-holes, but most futuristically can be accessed online along with additional content at www. claremarketreview.com
Social
21
8 December 2009 | The Beaver
A homely town
Nathan Briant returns to Lichfield
When I go back home to Lichfield next weekend (it's in in Staffordshire; near Birmingham - a suffix that I almost always need to add when 1 say where I live) - the change in location will be matched with a transition in mindset. In my flat in Camden Town, my view is of the Camden Road Overground bridge. At home, my bedroom view is of the sleepy city and of Lichfield Cathedral, famed as the Only Cathedral In Britain With Three Spires, the city's own unique selling point. Almost every business seemingly refers to it - even the shopping centre is named after it. In Camden it's noisy just about everywhere, acrid with fumes just north of the Euston Road and is quite messy - an old bed has been sitting outside on the pavement down my road for about a fortnight now. In Lichfield everything is prim and proper, white and middle class. Contrasting the LSE's diversity with my school in Lichfield provides a shock. With over half of the university coming from abroad to take their places here, the fact that my school year's cultural breadth amounted to having one student of Chinese origin shows just how different the two places are.
If there was an alternative name for a place the my home city it would probably be Eastbourne-in-the-Midlands. Quite frankly, if I ever take a daytime stroll at home if I don't see three decrepit old women playing bowls in Beacon Park, a old feller zooming about in a mobility scooter or someone collecting for the Rotary Club - something that my dad is convinced is some kind of undercover branch of the Conservative Party - there's something wrong.
Obviously a person's background makes a difference in the way they think and perform in later life. Lichfield's population proudly pack their kids off to higher education. Fifteen miles down the road in inner city Birmingham the likelihood of a child gaining a place at a university is minimal in comparison, just as it is in inner London in comparison to wealthier suburban areas.
People from my school have mostly gone to university; those that went into work straight after school were in the
minority, and most stayed relatively local to Lichfield if they went to university; a lot go to Birmingham. When I think that Tony Blair was reported to have said that Labour's aim was to get fifty per cent of British teenagers into university he'd have got his wish in Lichfield long ago. Basically I am from Middle England.
So my Christmas is bound to be a Middle England Christmas, like almost everyone else's in the city. Almost everyone will be having a standard British Christmas, whatever one of those is -(turkey, a Christmas tree, crackers and alcohol are the key constituents, most probably); not something that could be said about the truly diverse population of London. Diversity isn't greatly celebrated in Lichfield mainly because, as described, there is none - other than the huge range of distribution between what would appear to be the elderly majority and then whippersnappers like me. So if you're off sunningyourself in Dubai or some other exotic place remember us in Middle England, eh?
Down and out
Cameron Paige lives on fifty a week
With me in full-time education and down to eight hours of work a week - income, by the way, which didn't even cover the loan repayments - my beloved and I decided it was time to curb down on our flamboyant spending on consumables.
There was nothing else we could have considered. Moving out of London wasn't an option, with his job and my university here. Moving within London would have been an exercise in futility, as we already live in a shoebox-sized hovel in what is widely recognised to be one of the "dodgy" (ergo cheap) parts of the city.
Moving out of London wasn't an option, with his job and my university here. Moving within London would have been an exercise in futility, as we already live in a shoe-box sized hovel...
Cutting down on gas and electricity was out of the question. We do turn the lights off when we leave a room, we have no TV to leave on standby overnight, we do put another jumper on instead of turning on the heating, and yes, I have been known to wear gloves indoors. The only
other thing we could have done would have been to turn to microwaved dinners instead of me spending an hour cooking on the stove, but the amount we'd save that way wouldn't justify eating junk.
Then, there was the question of my burgeoning wardrobe. And yes, I have self-imposed a total ban on shopping the year just gone. But truth be told, that barely saved me a maximum of £25 a month, and possibly much less. I'm a bargain hunter extraordinaire, and proud of it. I've got my favourite charity haunts, and even those I only visit when there's a sale on.
We didn't go out much either. While I was working "in the media", there were plenty of free tickets to a lot of West End shows, so we never paid for those. Whenever I wanted to go to the opera or to see ballet, we'd get the 5-pound seats at the ROH. And while the Diet Coke promotion was on, I kept winning cinema tickets, so films only cost us £1.50 for the both of us, and hence we'd managed to see all the blockbusters on the cheap.
The above considered, we turned to the only one avenue still open to us - food. For a pair of foodies like us, that was a very tough call. On the day we sat down to impose a limit on what we could have, our spice rack boasted fenugreek, lemongrass, and home-made ras-el-hanout (with real rose petals!) among a multitude of more "mainstream" seeds, leaves and powders. To be told that saffron risotto with prawns, and beef & asparagus stir fry with sesame seeds were to be no more was unacceptable - we had to find another way.
In the end, my One-and-Only called it a fifty. I was to keep the food money and could buy and cook, or ask him to cook, whatever I pleased, but I wasn't to spend a penny more. On the other hand, if there was any money left over, I could keep it, and put it towards cinema or theatre tickets.
A year on, our experiment has paid off. With a little ingenuity, two people can live of £50 a week. The treats have to go, but elaborate meals can stay. No Caramel Frappucinos for me then, but it's mussaka for dinner tonight. The mince was going out of date, so Tesco's marked it down. That's the perk of shopping five minutes to closing time.
Overheard st LSE...
Person 1:1 think I'm pregnant. I've been craving cookies.
Person 2: Ooooooh, I wonder who the father is?
Person 1: Probably Econ. He's been fucking me all day.....
Chris Coker, describing the automated message at NATO: "Thankyou for calling NATO. If you'd like to become a member, please press 1. If you'd like to join the Partnership for Peace Plan, please press 2. For peacekeeping missions in the Balkans, press 3. If you'd like to fight a war, please stay on the line and an English-speaker will take your call.
"I feel so much more intelligent when my bag is heavy -it must be the weight of knowledge."
Girl: So what's your outside option? Guy: MA100.
Girl: Maths? But your degree is IR... Guy: Well, we are all Asians, I think you understand...
"Why would I need to sleep tonight? I slept last night..."
During hustings:
Girl: "I pledge to give free condoms to everyone."
-"how often?"
Girl: "Daily! A condom a day keeps an STI away!"
AN 200 lectures, a few weeks before Levi s-Strauss died:
"Levi-Strauss is- by the way I say 'is', I do need to check every few days to make sure he is still alive"
"I only did three questions out of 10, but I got them all nearly right, so essentially I got full marks"
Girl: "Happy birthday! Sorry I didn't get you any present! How does it sound if I give you a kiss as my special gift?"
Guy (Accounting and Finance at LSE): "CHEAPSKATES!!!! You only try to maximize your own utility, don'tyou?"
A new student market
Nicolas Oudin speaks with young entrepreneurs
An increasing number of LSE students opt for an entrepreneurial career path. Ms. Andrea Kreideweiss, LSE Career Adviser in Entrepreneurship & Employability, affirms that "the attendance rates for our Entrepreneurship Masterclass Series have doubled in the last two years." In fact, under the Ven-tures(a)LSE program, the Career Service has launched several new opportunities to help students create, join, and learn about entrepreneurial projects. What motivates LSE students to pursue these enterprises and take on more risk and responsibility at a younger age?
Kanishk Walia, a second year BSc Economics student, is the founder of LSE StudentMarket'"! an online marketplace for students at the LSE. "Students can buy and sell used books, student laptops, student accommodation, tutoring services and anything else that they want", says Walia. "And since this service has been created for students, by students, it is absolutely free." His pitch for this virtual pin-board is immaculate, his business plan well-conceived and marketing campaign successful.
He goes on to explain that his idea originated in first year mentees' complaints that textbooks were overpriced. Since all older students have these books lying on their shelf, "I figured creating an online system for connecting LSE students who wanted to sell to those who wanted to buy would be really useful." LSE StudentMarket™ effectively reduces transaction costs by providing a platform for arbitrage among LSE students for used textbooks, laptops, printers, hard drives, speakers, mp3 players, tutoring services, accommodation opportunities, etc. It's about time an LSE student endeavoured to set-up a market solution to high London prices.
What's more, it is free and easy to use,
charitable and environmentally-friendly. Twenty per cent of revenue earned from online advertising are donated through the Givelndia foundation and, Walia insists, "by using this service, you are preventing wasteful use, encouraging recycling of goods between students and reducing your carbon footprint." Why must I become a consultant to do business? Who says I can't start an attractive and profitable business venture as a second year undergrad?
It seems obvious that the catalyst for this recent development has been the reduced job opportunities that have resulted from the "crisis". The cost-cutting strategies employed by most firms along with degree inflation and large number of highly qualified young unemployed professionals in the City make it less straightforward for many to find internships with the 'Big Four'.
Walia, however, explains his decision by affirming that he has less to lose at this stage in his life: "If it works, great! If it doesn't, I'll leam how to do things differently next time. I don't have the burden of the various responsibilities that you shoulder once you start a career." Walia values this more realistic approach over
experience in Student Union societies. From this perspective, entrepreneurship seems to constitute an alternative way of achieving the same career path as previously desired.
Kreideweiss identifies a very different trend. "Students are attracted by the rapid personal and professional development opportunities that working for a start up brings with it (...) they feel that a start up environment will allow them to implement their ideas and passions quickly." Entrepreneurship, then, is an alternative outlet for value-driven and economically liberal students seeking an original career path. "Students don't need to make a decision between 'corporate' vs 'good cause' anymore, the thriving social enterprise sector allows them to incorporate both".
Whether this growing trend towards entrepreneurship is a symptom of the apathy towards unsatisfying Student Union outlets on campus or of the noble attempt of generation Y's hippies to materialize the triple-bottom line mentality, the fact that so many at the LSE are seeking to invest in a downturn is proof that LSE students have been attentive in EC102 and maintained their trademark values and high ambitions.
Articles to social(a)thebeavex,oiiline.co.uk Advertising to societies(a)thebeaveroiiline.
co.uk
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2 2	Contact Beaver Sports
sports@thebeaveronline.co.uk The Beaver | 8 December 2009	0207 955 6705
Sport
Sport
23
8 December 2009 | The Beaver
Hannah Dyson fills the vacuum left by Alice Pelton
Q&A with the New Sports Editor
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Who are your top three famous Taffies?
1)	Tom Jones - the music of my childhood.
2)	Dewi Evans - everybody's favourite third team captain.
3)	Mike Phillips - the 'hot one who plays for the Ospreys and is always fighting'.
What three things are better about Wales than England?
1)	Sheep (in a non sexual way).
2)	Sheep (in a sexual way)
3)	Our rugby team (waybetter than England's)
Where are you most likely to be found, and what will you be doing there?
In the Tuns gossiping, socialising and 'hanging over', or in the ARC (activities and resources centre), 'working'...
What is your most embarrassing moment at LSE?
Probably having to do Welsh karaoke. Rhiannon made me sing a Tom Jones song, which I couldn't do. I understand this has bought shame on the reputation of Welsh people as great singers, and for this I can only hang my head in shame...
If you were a guy, what sport would youplay?
Rugby of course, caz I'm Welsh, init boyo!?
What's your favourite cheese?
Camembert. Or Caerphilly, obviously.
Describe yourself in three words.
Banter, lash, minge. Standard!
Women's Rugby were handicapped from the offset this year due to LSE's highly unfair hostage-taking of Masters students on a Wednesday afternoon; taking over 6 of our regular ist team players.
Yet, despite the imposed handicap, Women's Rugby has finished this term with their first victory - beating the Poly Strand's Medics 39-15! A hat-trick of tries from Jenny has meant that she has stolen Bacon's top spot for most-tries-scored. A win in the first half of first term last year was unheard of, so there's been a clear improvement in this years side. Despite losing players through injury, illness, boyfriends and a defector to Net-ball, the remaining team has continually improved over the term. With a dedicated coaching team behind them, LSEWRFC has the opportunity to grow from strength to strength next season and aim to better the try-count and points gained from last year. However, Women's Rugby has proved week in week out that not only do they play hard, they party harder - often heard 'murdering' karaoke on a Wednesday evening. Yet, the pinnacle of the social calendar so far was marked by a turnout at the Carol that was larger than at any training session this year! Women's rugby really did prove that their handling
and burger at 'Spoons; Richard modelling his EasyRunning top at every race and practice (whilst crying at how Alex is still beating him); Scott pulling a noose-like rope out of his bag only to use it to stretch; Alex falling over in mud at least 5 times; ex-Kings Running captain Chris arriving at a race withyou-know-them instead of US; practically drowning in Hackney Marshes; a growing distinction between runners who run and runners who drink; a messy Carol and I am sure we will gain a few (probably unwanted) memories from our Christmas pub marathon!
Results:
LSE Men's Running Team: 6th in London Colleges League. 3rd in ULU championships. Top scoring male: Scott Bastek- 528 points. 1st in League.
LSE Women's Running Team: 3rd in London Colleges League. 2nd in ULU championships. Top scoring female: Meg Casson- 276 points, 5th in League.
Outlook for next term: medals, brand spanking new kit, relays and more muddy park runs...
Running Team
LSE Running Team's Michaelmas Term has seen the team become totally dominated by people from across the
pond, with more runners turning out to the Wave climate march than usually attend Friday training sessions; many a beer
What's your name and where do you come from?
My name is Hannah Ruth Dyson, "knd I'm from Swansea, and I'm the only gay in the village.
Do you have any nicknames?
Dyso, Daqs (after a strawberry daquiri incident...), Hoover.
How do you like your balls, round or oval?
Round because I'm a netballer, though i do like a bit of rugby.
How do you like your (guy's) balls, hairy or smooth?
Hairy, but not too hairy. Let's say trimmed. Definitely never smooth!
Who is your favourite sporting
Bin-up?
•an Carter, who my housemate Rhiannon turned down... dickhead!
Women's Rugby
season, Women's rugby will be found in a reputable establishment celebrating with unlimited drinking and a well-earned Christmas meal!
and ball skills are second to none, with many converting! If that success rate was matched on the pitch every week, I'm pretty sure we'd win the league! Reflecting upon our successfvd first half of the
We welcome new Sports Editor Hannah Dyson!
pg23
Mid Term Team Updates
How have some ofLSE's Sports teams been fairing so far this term?
L-
Men's Football
Alright you slaaaaaaags. Despite the best efforts of both Rob Fenton and Charlotte Emma Ryan, the FC has had innumerable high points thus far. From the beginning of term; it was clear the FC was going to be amazing as 4th team veteran G Crowler managed to escape from his Hong Kong hell.
With Owly getting a rare start for the 7th team, Sebby Bacala pulling literally everyone (including Strivens, Bowers, Heap and Holly Lister) and Nadir en generale; it has been a cracking start to the Fenton dynasty.
In regards to football, the 1st team are absolutely smashing it and are currently top of ULU. However, their strikers just cannot keep up with the goal-scoring machine that is BJ Watson; who, from a defensive midfield role has scored an unbelievable ('Jeff') 41 goals this term.
The player of the season competition has also become a one horse race with G Crow averaging 8.94 on Champ Manager
01/02. Next term the FC is looking forward to a number of equally exciting and implausible events, such as:
*	BJ's continued plummeting standards. When will he delve into Women's Rugby?;
*	The 5th team being relegated under George 'Phil Brown' Luther;
*	Nadir Gohar on the campaign trail for AU President; and,
*	Annabel Litchfield's riposte to Topi Jacques' accurate portrayal of her at the carol.
Netball
With 141 members this year, the NC has grown to become the most dominant and dedicated club within the AU. With an all Welsh exec, many felt dubious at how things would run but during initiations we successfully welcomed the freshers to our cave girl bosoms and discovered that between us we more than had the 7 deadly sins covered.
Our seven new teams were formed and team dinners (along with the "minge bed") bonded us like super glue. Playing two matches per week the ists have fought to stay top of ULU and the 2nds and 3rds are both a very respectable second and third in each of their BUCS group.
Our social butterflies are also doing well; massive congratulations must go to the 6ths who are beating both the 7ths and the gths in their ULU group! Doing TFL proud the NC outshone themselves at the Carol, with every colour body paint in the rainbow our girls lasted till the very end. Player of the season is undoubtedly awarded to Lauren "6 pull at the Carol"
Tennis
THE 12 DAYS OF WOMEN'S TENNIS
12 neon Christmas trees lighting up the Carol 11 holes in one 10 cavegirls initiated 9 tennis girls Samir thinks fancy him(they don't)
8 hilarious matches 7 (x4) tennis players getting rowdy at Brick Lane
6-06-0 domination over the tennis guys in pub-golf!
5 nail-biting third set tiebreaks to prematurely age us 4 trees lasting till Crush at the Carol 3 phenomenal comebacks 2 hard fought draws 1 amazing VICTORY... so far
Player of the term: Masha Kiryanova -some amazing and very tense battles on the court which she has held her nerve to come through, even saving match points in the process.
Women's Hockey
Men's Rugby
Deevy - who it must be noted is worth every penny of her £25 million. To a great season...Glory, Glory Minge United.
Women's Football
The Women's Football team have had a cracking start to the season, after our shock promotion, we are currently lying around 3rd in the top league, with an orgasmic goal-difference. Our results for this term have been, L W W L W W D W.
For the first time in 2 years we have made it past the first round in our Cup; it was a bit shit getting drawn to play Royal Holloway ists at home, two seasons in a row. This Sunday we trashed UCL 2nds, and we will face their ists in the next round.
Our player of the season would probably have to be Anja Fischer, who is our top scoring striker. In Norway all they do is shoot balls into nets, apparently. Caroline Bourdeau is also up there; she's our ice hockey playing midfielder who's playing style is akin to a battering ram.
The lowest point of our season was undoubtedly drawing 5-5 with Royal Free, who are bottom of our league. Within ten minutes our defence fell to pieces, and they were awarded a 'penalty'; coming back at us from 3-1 down. Helena's boy-
friend came to watch; he didn't really say a lot to her afterwards, except, 'why the fuck did you lose?'
Socially, the team has been on good form. Laura and Alice have spent many weeks trying to mold their protege Bonnie Barker. It seems to be working - just ask Dan Steene. Ruth Vinson hasn't shown her face since her fracas with a nameless rugby player. Come back Ruth, we miss you and love you dearly. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Inga Driksen is the most dedicated; she's out every week, with the team's highest Zoo bar attendance.
Coach John is still our night in shining armour. He's been a bit moodier this year, but we put that down to his long-distance relationship with our ex-player Lunna Lopez. None of us were aware that this beautiful Brazilian took his fancy because he waited until he had finished coaching . her to make a move. Bless.
Next term perhaps Rose de Mendoca will meet the man of her dreams? Or perhaps we will play a game where the Ref isn't absolute shite? Who knows.
Next term: Two more BUCS matches which we are going to WIN.
An LSE Women's Doubles and Mixed Doubles 'Mr and Mrs Roger Federer' tournament to look forward to.
We have had a great first term as a team, especially as only three of us were here last year and we cannot wait for more fun times ahead next term.
Currently we're chilling at the top of our league; what more can we say, we're pretty good at totally flattening polys. We aim to win our BUCS and ULU leagues this year and so far it's looking very promising.
Highlights of our term include:
running over the Motorway poly after no warm up (as they couldn't get their postcode right); our stolen Netballer Olga getting her Russian baps out for a coach full of lads; our Celts really stepping-up on and off the pitch; pissing in sinks; Octavia passed out in the bath after human buckaroo and a ridiculous amount of Hockey incest.
Looking ahead, watch out for Captain Heaps who is in pole position for golden balls AND golden stick this year, and Bridget, a newly discovered Boston rock who wouldn't dare let anything past her. The only downside of our term has to be when our favourite ginger Chadders 'broke' her knee - no longer can we hear 'bastard' being shouted in a delightful Wigan accent throughout our matches. As all our players are having such a great season it's hard to pick out a 'best player', so all there's left to say is 'GET IT DOWN YOUR NECK, YOU STUPID HOCKEY WHORE!'
An interesting term, I would say. The term began with weeks of initial failure, followed by resounding success. In my last correspondence it was promised that a true leader would be born in the face of adversity, and my god, have we seen the birth of a truly wonderful, inspirational, Welsh (but not ginger) leader. Some say he could be the greatest, rumour has it that the seconds are unbeaten in six weeks- notbad for a team consisting of a Korean, a couple of Russians, an Australian, a South African, a Rapist, a few Welsh, a couple of Irish and the unfortunate odd Englishman.
There have been numerous stand-out performances this term- special mention must go to our fluffy fly-half Oliver Townsend for the now immortalised 'Townsend 12', his extremely adequate replacement- Abdul Latif Sayo Folawyio has always performed impressively, while Pickles is my hero. A great term was also had by Russian Greg, our international
man of mystery. Sadly, not every member of the team has tasted success; Josh Olo-molayie's goal kicking is pathetic.
2 wins, 2 defeats and a draw. On paper, not the greatest term- however the outlook is positive. The seconds have been resurrected after a long and emotional battle with the thirds, and we are now ready to launch our assault on both the league and the cup. The future's bright, the future's Dewi Evans.

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LOUISA EVANS
4 INTERVIEW: JAMES BUCKLEY
ALEX WHITE - PARTB-RANT@THEBEAVERONLINE.CO.UK
GRANT
SARA DOWNES - PARTB-VISUAL ARTS@THEBEAVERONLINE
7 VISUAL ARTS
8BMKSYIUCAN BUY US FOR
CHRISTMAS
LIAM MCLAUGHLIN & CATHY DRUCE - PARTB-MUSIC@THEBEAVERONLINE.CO.UK
SOPHIE MARMENT PARTB -THEATRE@THEBEAVERONLINE
12 THEATRE
VICTORIA TERRY - PARTB-FOOD@THEBEAVERONLINE
13 FOOD
AHMED PEERBUX - PARTB -THEATRE@THEBEAVERONLINE
14 FILM
ALICE PELTON - PARTB-SEXANDGENDER@THEBEAVERONLINE.CO.UK
16 SEX & GENDER
Frai/V/

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EMTORIAL
An Ode to Hummus (Past ana present).
That Middle-Eastern snack, that sensation of senses, titalator of tastebuds.
It is more than a dip to me.
Black Bean, Cajun Chicken, Avocado and Beef. All of it dripping with a sweaty mix of irresponsibility and financial lucrativity.
More, more; more -1 am still not satisfied. In the morning, in the evening, on Wednedays, on Fridays.
On holidays and high days, give it to me
And I want it free, the most ex-Densive price there is.
want to feel the cost to my neart and head, not my wallet.
I want to dance on the grave of graft,
Some day I'll lead an army to the Hummus Holy-land, we will take it back, there will be no two-state solution. No halt in settlement building.
And we will scream at the top of our lungs as we fill our greedy, gaping, masticating lips ' I want something for nothing', 'I want more than I deserve'. And I want it now.
And then a small voice of calm will say. 'It's only fucking hummus, do something important with your lives.'
Calum Young & Graeme Birred
partb@thebeaveronline.co.uk
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Last Sunday I joined some fellow adventurers from my residence hall on a day trip to Oxford.What a photogenic day - graceful trees littered with golden leaves, stately buildings glowing with the little
I sun ^at shone that day - and 13 frozen students huddled I	•	* I on the top of a (roofless) tour bus snapping a zillion pictures.
Oh, and then there was Hogwart's, AKA Christ Church .As I stood before the church, I could imagine all of my Harry Potter
friends squealing in
nerdtastic glee.The
inside was incredible - it had the very cafeteria area featured in the movie. Or so I'm told. I was too cheap to pay the £3.50 entrance fee.
Are you obsessed with The Lord of the Rings and/or Harry Potter? Did you like Alice in Wonderland? Come to Oxford and give the nerd in you a holiday to remember.
Posted by Gilee Girl at 4:20 AM 2 comments
Friday, November 13, 2009
Which means now I have loads of pictures of buildings that mean nothing to me. But they're pretty!
What impressed me most about Oxford were the vast opportunities to nerd-out.
For instance, we ate lunch at this tiny pub called The Eagle and Child .which was where Tolkien and C.S. Lewis hung out together. I could really imagine a hobbit living in that pub.The ceiling was all cadywompus - it would slope at different levels, and was drafty and cozy at the same time.They had a lot of meat pies. A LOT OF MEAT PIES.
•Do you have problems? Stuff on your mind that you •can't sort out on. your own? Why not email PartB's ¦ •own Agony Aunt/Slut at partb@thebeaveronline. •co.uk and see if she can help.
*Dear Aunt Beverly,
»It is Christmas time and I can't work •out how I am supposed to Look sparkling •and awesome and eat my own bodyweight in •Toblerone, Terry's Chocolate Orange and ®various roasted birds. Help!
.Dreaming of Christmas Grub, 1st year •
•Dear Gluttonous Girlie,
•I'm sure you're familiar with the saying •'your eyes were bigger than your belly' °but if you continue in this vain dear, Qeating all that is in your sight in the .name of festive spirit and joy, your bel-•ly will soon be too big for your eyes to •appreciate. No one likes a fattie and regally all it says is that you couldn't say °'no' to the lure of foil-wrapped goodies. ^Have some self respect and remember that .at Christmas it can feel as good to give #as it can to recieve so when the urge to •eat 2 feet of Toblerone overwhelms you, •put some distance yourself and it, and ®as I have advised before, go and work a ^Christmas shift in a soup kitchen. 3ust
.don't eat the soup.
•
•Dear Aunt Beverly,
•At this time of year I have one recurring •dream" me, Mariah Carey, her fluffy santa ®suit and a whip. So whenever I see a fe-.male dressed in the festive spirit,I have .to excuse myself and find a bathroom. How •do I put my festive fantasies to bed?
•Mariah Is My Queen, 3rd year •
°Dear You Need a Santa's Little Helper, gjl'm not averse to .strange sexual •perversions but •when your fan-•tasies mean •that the festive season .creates a #snow-storm in •your pants,
•you have a •problem. I suggest that you find .a lady wilining to en-•act said •scenario •and flush *it out |
.of yor #system.
As you can see from the photo, they gave us headphones so we could hear the tour guide describing all the historical sites, but I wasn't paying attention and just took a bunch of pictures.
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RATHER WALK
AFTER STARRING IN IN THE HIT CHANNEL FOUR SHOW THE INBETWEENERS AS WELL AS BBC THREE'S OFF THE HOOK, JAMES 'JAr BUCKLEY HAS TURNED HIS HAND TO THE ART OF DJ-ING. BUT THE REAL QUESTION IS HOW MUCH CLUNGE HE GETS NOW THAT HE'S
FAMOUS. LOUISA EVANS FINDS OUT
The Inbetweeners. The cult TV show that has done more to immortalise the growing pains, twisted logic and sexcapades of British teenage boys than The Young Ones and Nuts magazine combined.
The show has enjoyed two massively successful series and another is in the pipe-line. So what do the alternatley filthy and loveable lads of Mr Gilbert's sixth form get up to outside of school?
PartB met up with James 'Jay' Buckley one Saturday night at Common People hosted by our very own Students' Union.
So why are you DJing?
Well music has always been such a big part of my life and is important to me. I used to be in a band until recently called London Waiting. We did that for a couple of years but I was always focussed on our music, and so DJing has got me back in love with music again. The stuff that inspired us to start with; music that I'd forgotten. And I'm enjoying loads of new stuff aswell. I'd sort of lost touch, especially because I'm not in my band any more I want to be involved in music and I enjoy it.
What kind of music do you play?
I play mainly rock and or indie music and anthems; just the music that I'm into. It's a bit selfish to say but I just play songs that I think are good and what I think other people want to hear. I don't do this to try and be clever or to be the new thing. I bring my personality to the DJing.
How did you get involved with Common People?
I met Stuart [the promoter] through the rehearsal rooms where the band used to use. He mentioned the DJing thing and I thought why not, it could be fun. We then got ap-
4 INTERVIEW
proached to do this and it's really cool, and seemed like it would be a laugh. I like the way it's laid out too; the three rooms with the different types of music.
Is it true you named the night?
Yeah I called it Common People after the Pulp song. And also just because it's forev-eryone. As a band we used to find it hard getting into central London, we'd do better gigs locally; were about 15 years too late... we were very Brit Pop-y y'know? We were heavily influenced by Oasis so we don't get along to well with the Shoreditch trendies. That scene's all well and good but there's something to be said about turning up for a night where you don't have to outpose each other or pretend to know more about music than the others around you. This is just about playing good songs that people like and enjoy. That's what's important to me.
So you are going to pursue acting right?
(laughs) Yeah it's my job! This is just fun; a bit of a laugh. This is just because music is so important to me and I want to keep in touch with it.
Do you have anything exciting coming up?
Well there's another series of the Inbetween-ers and we start filiming March. I saw the boys who write it a couple of days ago actually. And they're working on a film. [Much
excitement from the Beaver fellows] Y'know whether it gets made or not, you don't know but I've read bits of it and it looks really fucking good.
The series is so good because it appeals to everyone: boys who sit and point and are like 'that's me!1 or at least know someone who would and for girls it's a bizzare glimpse into the pubescent boys' psyche. It's gold dust really.
Yeah it's all a bit wierd. When we first made the show we weren't thinking at all whether people were going to like it! It was just a silly programme and we seem to have just struck a chord and it has gone down really well people can realte to it and find it really funny. We really didn't expect it to be so successful.
What has been your favourite episode so far?
Erm well I'd have the say the one when we're on a boat. That was actually really funny. There are still a couple I havent seen in the second series.
Really?
Well yeah, just because I was there and I filmed it and it took forever and so I know it!
Obviously Jay is a legend but is he your favourite character?
Well yeah, Jay's great. But I do like Peado
Kennedy [the ons who also wants to touch Neil in inappropriate places], he's in that episode and he's really funny.
Your character is a bit of a compulisve liar. What's the biggest lie you've ever told?
Biggest lie. OK well that's one to spring on me. And if I've lied im not going to tell you am I!? To be honest, I don't think I'm quick enough to pull off a big lie. I'd just get found out.
Pardon me for asking but do you get much clunge now you're famous?
Err, well I've been with my girlfriend [gestures to girl standing 5 feet from us], Tessa, for 2 years now. And she's all the clunge I need really. [Chuckles].
That's kind of romantic really...so finally, you said there's going to be another series and possibly a film, do you have other plans? Do you want to give movies a go or are you going to stick with TV?
The stuff I've done after the last few years has been very comedy, based and so people think I only do that. That's just not the case! I'm an actor, there's loads of things I want to do; loads of boxes I'd like to tick. I want to give it all a go and see what happens. If I do it justice great, otherwise I'll have to give something else a go!
5 INTERVIEW
ALEX IS LOOKING FORWARD TO A WHITE CHRISTMAS
You. Sitting there. Getting angry at Shakin' Stevens. I know what you're thinking: Til shake YOUR Stevens. Prick.' Do you look at the Christmas lights on Regents street and bemoan the commercialism of Christmas? Does tinsel suggest itself to you in a noose shape? Have you ever tried to stuff a bauble up the undersized orifice of a tiny little elf?
If you answered yes to any of those questions then you, reader, are a dick of epic proportions. There's a special circle in Hell saved for people like you. Dante didn't even managed to write about it, so closed off is it. It's reserved for those of you who don't like happiness. Because that's what you say when you tell me you hate Christmas: you're saying that you have beef with joy.
This week is to be a bit of an anti-rant as a little treat, for Christmas is the one time of year where I cannot get riled about anyone or anything, bar the precious few who will systematically piss on the fairy lights of felicity.
Christmas, or "the winter season" for the more politically correct of you is the one time of year where by and large everyone in Christendom is happy. Unlike my increasingly depressing birthdays, at this time of year no one can help but know what time it is, and everyone gives a shit one way or another. How dare you hate on all of that good cheer?
And more to the point, why wouldn't you be overjoyed? The winter holidays bring only good things, like Father Christmas now that you make sure you tell your parents' exactly what to buy you: Mariah Carey wants bloody YOU and nothing else! Back when she was much hotter and everything. Constantly being plied with drink and food, all spiced and fatty! Minced pies, for example have to be the best mindfuck of a foodstuff ever to have been created. There is no mince! It's so very, wonderfully, deceptively vegetarian, hugged up in shortcrust pastry goodness.
It's as if the baby Jesus himself has signed a waiver (he was very educationally advanced, what with being the son
of God and all) declaring that it is absolutely fine to get fat. Good, even. Save energy and the environment by chubbsing up a bit to keep yourself warm in those delightfully blustery winds. Allow hope to triumph over experience once again, that it might snow, just a smidgen on Christmas day. You get to drunkenly argue and make up with your family over the course of dinner, several times. I even got sent Santa porn a few days ago. I guess that's a good thing?
If you're still wavering, I implore you to be a bit more grateful ye wee scrooges. There are starving children in Africa you know, who don't know that it's Christmas. Which brings me to my slight seasonal fib. Other than hating on the haters, I also abhor Band Aid at this time of year. I'm not bloody donating money because 'there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas'. It's not so much of a deprivation thing really is it Sir Bob? More of a geographical climate pattern. If it does start snowing in Africa on the 25th, then I'll donate. THAT would be a huge crock of shit.
They also probably don't know it's Christmas, no. And to imply that it's bau-bles-made-of-bollocks awful that this is the case is no more than highly unacceptable ethnocentric cultural imperialism, not entirely unlike this article. Take a stand against this, Rudolph lovers and Anthro.
students alike.
Still, the spirit of giving and community underlies the egos of Bono and Geldof, so I'll be putting that on my playlist entitled 'CRIMBOOOOO', which I will be listening to each and every day, several times over in the next month, and thoroughly enjoying every last painfully verse. Particularly Dizzee's rap in the new one.
For just a brief period then readers, I will taking a break from my perennial hump; my goat what has been got, if you will, and instead gorge on the turkey of contentedness. I suggest you do the same. In the immortal words of Love Actually, 'if you can't say it at Christmas, when can you eh?', so my fellow grouches and you felonious grinches, I entreaty you to let down your cynical guard. Take these few weeks of winter holiday to be good to your loved ones, embarrass the hell out of everyone by telling them that they are. Put some serious thought into going to America for a fuckfest, Colin Frissle-stylee. The magic of yuletide means that all of these things are not only possible, but probably wholly appropriate.
And so, with no snide one liner, nor any real grudge to bear, I wish our readers a very merry Christmas.
But you're on your own for the new year.
^	6 RANT
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SEMEN, WALLPAPER AND CREEPY CLOWNS WITH SARA DOWNES
It's coming up to that time of year again, no not Christmas, it's Turner Prize time. The time of year when Channel 4 is taken over by a bunch of annoying art critics and then all you hear for days in the newspapers is how awful the winning artist is. At the time of writing the lucky recipient of £25000 hasn't yet been announced, but Partb investigates.
Of course it wouldn't be the Turner Prize without some kind of controversial and sometimes frankly horrific inclusions. Where once the public were outraged by Tracy Emin's unmade bed and Chris Ofili's use of Elephant dung on canvas, this year they're likely to get in a fluster about Roger Hiorn's tendency to add a dash of semen and brain matter to his artistic creations. In a similar way to Ofili, Hiorn has infused seemingly ordinary paintings/sculptures with awful bodily fluids. By combining a Toyota engine with brain matter Hiorn creates a blend that is disconcerting and confuses our usual expectations of the distinction between mechanical found objects and human matter. In a similar juxtaposition, the artist used an ordinary London drain to create an installation which sent up huge shooting flames in to the open air, transforming the mundane, unnoticed drain into a violent, emotive piece which creates an air of danger in the surrounding outdoor space. Similarly, perhaps his most striking piece which is up for consideration by the formidable prize judges is Seizure 2008 shows a striking transformation of an abandoned flat in South London into a blue crystal palace, which he achieved by coating every surface - floor, walls and ceiling - in liquid copper sulphate which underwent a chemical reaction and metamorphosis from dereliction to magnificence.
Another artist who has been nominated is Enrico David, for his exhibitions entitled and Bulbous Marauder and 'How Do You Love Dzzzzt By Mammy? Once again, the works included are disconcerting. The former is comprised of a series of gauche on paper pieces depicting cartoons of hauntingly mischievous and happy looking clowns who are swinging their hips in a camp theatrical dance while holding huge menacing baseball bats. Another layers what appears to be the colourful crotch of one of the clowns in front of a dull, stone like face of a man who seems very pleased with his view. His second nominated exhibition featured a sculpture with a figure so odd it's hard to describe; the face of a pouting man was superimposed on a bloated rotund body, with stick like rocking chair legs'. It gives the creepy idea of a gay man who is bound in a child like body and reminds me of that horrific 'bitty' sketch from Little Britain where David Walliams demands breast milk. The Tate website describes these as 'confrontational and beautiful'; confrontational maybe but to me the pieces lack beauty and instead possess an awkwardness. This of course, does not make them bad art; most contemporary art is incred-
ibly awkward. But this seems to fall short in that, it does not provoke any strong emotional responses like past contenders have such as Jake and Dinos Chapman. Indeed, the critics this year are not predicting David will win.
Lucy Skaer's work seems a more popular favourite. In The Siege 2008 she dots objects sparsely around a large gallery space; tables, giant hand prints and 26 coal sculptures sit together in an abstract installation. These tall coal blade-like statues, called Black Alphabet, are arranged with uniformity and neatness in comparison to the random placement of objects around the rest of the room. They are black, sharp and aggressive torpedo shaped objects, towering over visitors. Similar in intention to Hiorn's work, Skaer attempts to transform the gallery space and challenge the viewer's perceptions as they try to deal with drastically different forms. Black Alphabet does this particularly well because at once they appear to be a set of weapons but from a different angle they do indeed look like letters from the alphabet. The sculpture harks back to Brancusi's 1926 Bird in Space sculpture, also produced 26 times, which was at the centre of a lawsuit after it was not permitted to be sold as a work of art in the U.S.
The final shortlisted artist is Richard Wright. He is nominated for his exhibitions featuring subtle, delicate wall papers with a heavy use of gold and intricate designs. Recent years of the Turner Prize have moved away from the seemingly blatant headline grabbing statements of the heyday of the 1990s Young British Artists to a more subdued shortlist and Wright epitomizes this. His work gently reflects the gallery space around it and is reminiscent of traditional Islamic art. It's possible to see shapes and figures in the patterns, but what is really interesting is the comparison Wright has made with the Turner versus Constable exhibition of 1832, where the former trumped his contemporary by adding a dash of bright red at the last minute; these murals were painted onto the gallery walls at night time after all the other nominees had left. The work isn't shocking but it is refined and beautiful, setting it apart from the other candidates.
Overall this years selection is diverse and interesting without being overly pretentious and unecessarily controversial but it is Wright who shines the most. Channel 4 broadcast the annoucement on Monday 7th so catch it on I-player or visit the exhib-tion.
THE EXHIBITION OF ALL THE SHORTLISTED ARTISTS WILL RUN AT THE TATE BRITAIN UNTIL JANUARY 3RD 2010
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Dear Santa
I know you re busy at this time of year, but I have a few requests that i wou/d appreciate it if you could consider setting for me.
This Year lots of people said that my band. (72, are a bit rubbish¦ Please give me some more talent so that I can write another good albumin addition it seems that I am STILL constantly outshone by Geldof (despite my requests last year which I guess you didn't read} If you got me some integrity to go With my new talent I think I could rectify this problem-
It also appears that there is still third world debt and widespread famine. This makes me sad so please make it go away, If you don't I will ensure that students and hipsters will hate you.
My sun glasses make me look like some scj-fc throwback from the 90s- can i have some new ones-
Cheers,
kisses and Hugs,
love Bono (from U21
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KAMILLA KHABI-BRAKHMANOVA
REVIEWS CODEINE VELVET CLUB @ 100 CLUB 25.11
For most people, 'taking a break' from their regular job conjures images of sipping Pina Coladas on a tropical island, or else spending their days tending to a backyard garden. However, when The Fratellis decided to take a break, Jon Lawler could not stop doing what he does best. So he kept making music, under the guise of a new band, the Codeine Velvet Club. It combines the best of The Fratellis with a new retro-inspired sound and look that makes you wish you could take a time machine back to the school dances where many of our parents first met.
Fortunately, just as Jon Lawler was thinking about a new music project, the burlesque singer Lou Hickey was also looking to record some new tunes. The two realized they could help each other out, and soon musical sparks were flying. Once they threw in a full band complete with a sax and trumpet, they were on their way to vaudeville success, with a new single, Vanity Kills, released just last week and an album release coming up soon. According to Jon Lawler, the only inspiration that the band had was to make some good music, and that was certainly what they did.
Although there is nothing horribly innovative about the new band's numbers, they are nevertheless a pleasure both to listen to and to watch. The two singers complement each other very well, with Jon's deep mellow voice a perfect match for Lou Hickey's powerful burlesque notes. And they are great to watch as well, with the full band dressed in old-fashioned suits and the stunning Lou Hickey in a 70s-inspired get-up. As the night went on in The 100 Club, she kept getting better, so one can only expect her to get better as the band gets more experience. Suffice to say the chemistry between all the band members made the audience smile from the first minute to the last.
In the future, Jon Lawler says that he expects that The Fratellis will get back to working together, so perhaps this new project will not be long-lived. However, their catchy tunes will certainly be stuck in our heads for-a while.
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JOSEPH MEEGAN' PAINTS A US A PICTURE OF BENNETT'S NEW WORK

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Ian Bennett's new play is a witty tour-de-force born out of a lifetime of creativity.
Bennett's setting is wilfully ^complex: we are watching a rehearsal of a play called Caliban's Day in the National Theatre, about an imagined meeting between the composer Benjamin Britten and the writer W.H. Auden, interrupted by Auden's rent boy and a reporter who will later become their biographer. The biographer occasionally steps out of the action to play the role of narrator. This pleasing play-within-a-play takes place in Auden's room in Oxford, and is observed and commented on from without by the 'offstage' cast and crew. As a result of Bennett's multilayered construct the audience are treated to actors' crises of confidence and self-importance sulks, the interjections and arguments of the maligned writer who fears his artistic vision is being corrupted, and the weary stage manager who has to mollycoddle and chastise them all throughout.
Refreshingly, the structural complexity of The Habit of Art poses no problems in Bennett's masterful hands, and it is more difficult to summarise than to watch. What could have been simply a muddle of interesting ideas, aiming at many targets but striking none, instead emerges as a wonderfully neat examination of the artistic process in its many forms. Onion-like, layers upon layers of creativity are peeled back and examined together: the actors, the playwright; the great writers Auden and Britten, the unknown people who influenced them; and ultimately Bennett himself. The overall effect is both pleasing and enlightening.
The. play is laced with knowing winks at the absurdity of the acting profession,
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which the experienced cast tackle with skill and spot-on timing, no doubt facilitated by Nicholas Hynter's able direction.
The imagined exchange between Auden and Britten, though often interrupted, is fascinating. The aging writer, having seen his audience dwindle, desperately tries to attach himself to his former friend's adaptation of Death in Venice, while Britten struggles with material which threatens to force him to admit uncomfortable truths about himself in a society where homosexulity had only recently become legal. This is a captivating look at the all-too-human difficulties of men whose achievements made them something more than human in the popular imagination.
The cast deserve great credit for their efforts. Richard Griffiths is predictably superb in his flawless rendering of both Auden and the self-important actor who portrays him, and his performance reaffirms his status as one of our stage greats. Alex Jennings almost matches him as the conflicted Britten. Frances de la Tour as the Stage Manager plays her motherly role to maximum comic effect, while Adrian Scarborough, who plays the journalist Carpenter, is a brilliant foil as an actor unhappy in his role
-	a performance which proves there is no dirtier phrase than "dramatic device".
It must be said that not everything in The Habit of Art strikes quite the right note. Bennett's refrain - that there are masses of forgotten people who play vital parts in the creation of great art - seems a touch too sentimental and doesn't quite ring true. Elsewhere, the play stays just a little too long, as the climax comes a couple of minutes early in a touching speech from Griffiths. However,
these are such small matters that they do little to detract from the enjoyment of the piece.
Ultimately this is top-drawer theatre from a master of his art
-	funny, moving, daring, insightful and perhaps unwittingly introspective, Bennett is revealing to us what makes him tick. It is the habit of art. It is the compulsion to go on creating. A great artist wakes up and starts to create as regu larly as other people go to work. As the exchange between Auden and Britten demonstrates, it is a compulsion which persists for a lifetime, whether there is an audience or not. Bennett, too,
is evidence of this lifelong compulsion. If The Habit of Art is anything .to go by,
he will have a considerable audience for some time to come.
12 THEATRE
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THE HABIT OF ART IS AT THE NATIONAL THEATRE UNTIL 6TH APRIL 2010,
HAIKU REVIEW
Endgame at the Duchess Theatre
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Learn from Beckett that Life is an unhappy state But you've got to laugh
PICK OF THE FESTIVE SEASON
The Snowman
An annual classic at the our very own Peacock theatre, this is a childhood tale that is sure to melt the frostiest of hearts. The Peacock Theatre until 10 Jan. Box Office 0844 412 4300
Peter Pan
This production is going to be big with a specially commissioned 360 degree scenic design. A sure fire way of making J. M. Bar-rie's classic tale truly spectacular.
02 until 10 Jan.
- v Box Office 0844 856 0202
Aladdin
Aladdin is a popular panto choice this Christmas. The Hackney Empire's produciton includes performances from Clive Rowe and Anna Jane Caey. What more could you iiMhfefa- wish for?
Hackney Empire until 9 Jan. Box Office 020 | 8 9 8 5 2424
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1.	Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas 4. Put the turkey in a large, deep roasting tin. Season with salt and pepper.
2.	Melt the butter in a large saucepan. Fold the muslin in four and lower it into the melted butter, pushing it in so that it soaks up virtually all the butter.
3.	Lift out the butter-soaked muslin and lay it over the turkey, making sure that it completely covers the breast and upper thighs.
4.	Pour about 300ml/1/2 pint water into the roasting tin and slide it into the oven. Cook for approximately 3 hours 20 minutes, basting the bird approximately every 30 minutes with the pan juices.
5.	Test that the turkey is properly cooked by piercing the thickest part of the thigh with a skewer. If the juices run clear then it's done.. Transfer the turkey to a large serving dish, discard muslin, cover with foil and leave in a warm place to rest for at least half an hour.
CRANBERRY SAUCE
225g fresh or frozen cranberries, defrosted
125g demerara sugar
Grated zest and juice of 1 orange
1	cm piece fresh root ginger, peeled and chopped
2	tbsp port
1.	Place the cranberries in a small pan with the sugar, orange zest and juice and ginger. Heat gently until the sugar has dissolved.
2.	Simmer for 5 minutes until the cranberries pop and the sauce is thickened. Stir in the port.
BREAP SAUCE
450ml/15fl oz full-cream milk 1 small onion 4 cloves
75-100g/3-4oz fresh white breadcrumbs freshly grated nutmeg, to taste 40g/11/20z butter or 2 tbsp double cream cayenne pepper, for sprinkling
MINCE PIES	Recipes from
225g cold butter, diced	bbc.com/food
350g plain flour
10Og golden caster sugar
280g mincemeat
1 small egg , beaten
icing sugar, to dust
1.	Pastry- rub butter into flour, then mix in sugar and a pinch of salt. Make pastry into a ball and knead briefly
2.	Preheat oven to 200C/gas 6/fan 180C. Line 18 holes of two 12-hole patty tins- press small balls of pastry into each hole. Spoon the mincemeat into
the pies.
3. Pat smaller balls of pastry out between your hands to • make round lids and top the pies, pressing the edges gently together to seal.
4. Brush the tops of the pies with the beaten egg.
Bake for 20 minutes until golden.
CHRISTM/IS PUPPING
Make and steam it at least a month in advance.
275g/10oz soft breadcrumbs 100g/4oz dried apricots, chopped 100g/4oz dried figs, chopped 225g/8oz currants
225g/8oz seedless raisins 225g/8oz sultanas
75g/3oz candied peel, finely chopped
50g/2oz almonds, finely chopped
225g/8oz light or dark muscovado sugar 225g/8oz shredded suet 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp ground mixed spice 1 tsp ground cinnamon 1/2 tsp freshly grated nutmeg 1 orange, zest and juice 1 lemon, zest and juice 1 eating apple, cored and grated
3	free-range eggs, lightly beaten 150ml/5fl oz stout or similar dark beer 150ml/5fl oz milk
4	tbsp brandy
butter, for greasing pudding bowls
1.	Pour the milk into a heavy-based saucepan. Stick the four cloves into the onion, add to the milk and bring very, very slowly up to the boil, so that the milk has plenty of time to absorb the flavours of the onion and the cloves.
2.	Remove the onion and cloves and stir enough breadcrumbs into the milk to give a thick sauce. Season to taste with nutmeg and salt. Stir in the butter or cream. Sprinkle with the cayenne pepper just before serving.
Mix the onion, sage and breadcrumbs in a large bowl then add the boiling water and stir. Work the sausage meat into it and season.
TURKEY TImE
1 free-range turkey weighing 4kg/8lb 11 oz salt and freshly ground black pepper 175g/6oz unsalted or lightly salted butter You'll also need a large piece of butter muslin
PoRk, SAQE
ANP ONION STUFFING
1 large onion, finely chopped 1 heaped tsp dried sage 4 heaped tbsp white breadcrumbs
2-3 tbsp boiling water 900g sausage meat Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1. Put all into a bowl and mix thoroughly.
2. Divide the mixture between two greased 11/2 litre/21/2 pint heatproof pudding bowls + smooth down the surface. 4. Cover each bowl with greaseproof paper, then cover that with a large square of foil. 5. Leave the puddings to cool overnight. 6. To cook, stand both puddings in a pan. Pour boiling water into the pan(s), enough to come about halfway up the bowls.
7.	Cover the pan(s) with a lid and boil for seven hours.
8.	Remove the bowls and leave to cool. Replace the foil and greaseproof sheets.
9.	Store in a cool, dry place. Reheat - pan with a few inches of boiling water, cover and steam for two hours until completely heated through.
13 FOOD
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14
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ON BETH AN HAYCOCK REVIEWS
MORE LIKE NEW
Director: Chris Weitz. Screenplay: Melissa Rosenberg Cast: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart. Runtime: 130 minutes. Year: 2009. Cert.: 12
For those of you who have lived unfi der a tock for the last two years, The lwiiight Saga tells the tale of.-a girl, Bella who falls in love with a Vampire, Edward. In New Moon albve triangle forms between Edward, Bella and Bella's best friend Jacob, who we also discover is a Werewolf. Edward leaves Forks, Washington forever and Bella because he thinks he's protecting her so Bella looks for solitude in her friendship with Jacob, who is also in love with her. Eventually Edward and Bella are re-united due to the fact that she saves^jgfcitfe because he was going to kill himself; because he thought Bella was dead. Yes, I know this all sounds complete-
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ALICE PELTONTALKS CONDOM EHQU

I've become the Sex and Gender editor because the amount of time I spent being the Sports Editor meant I never actually had any sex. I also seem to have a penchant for back pages.
This week's point of discussion is condoms. Surely in a.world where we can put a man on the bloody moon we can find a better alternative to this hideous form of contraception? More to the point, why do we bother investing millions into outer-space research when billions of people still have to resort to cling filming their genitalia before engaging in one of the greatest things on earth?
Clearly the buying, applying and disposing of condoms is a sticky matter. One thing that has plagued me for years is what one is to say in that awkward prolonged silence when a man is putting on a condom. Does one make conversation? Does one stay silent? Does one debate the ways in which Chaucer criticizes the weaknesses of his characters in The Canterbury Tales? Or does one ask whether the UN is more an instrument of its member states than an independent actor in world politics? I'm just never sure.
Condom etiquette is notoriously complicated. A particular matter which keeps me awake at night is which one of you should do the act of application. I went out with a man for 2 years who never put a condom on his penis once. I was expected to do the deed every time. This struck me as odd; I never would have expected him to force feed me my contra'ceptive pill every morning. Gradually I've become accustomed to the view that a man should quite literally tackle his own business. Saying that, if you're blessed with the art of being able to
put it on with your mouth then inevitably I think the girl should go for it. After all, mouths and cocks do go well together.
Another issue is who buys the condoms. Some girls insist it's the bloke's responsibility, but you'd be surprised at how many men get completely flustered at the prospect of popping
My top 10 things not to do/say whilst someone is putting on a condom:
1)	Look surprised and scream 'I thought we were trying for a family?!'
2)	Announce 'Thank God you're gonna use a Johnny, my fanny has been itching for months!' Then scratch it for dramatic effect.
3)	Insist he doesn't put one on, and start chanting 'I'M BARE BACK TILL I DIE!'
4)	Ask if he can put two on to make it extra safe.
5)	Fart.
6)	Giggle. •
7)	Suggest tentatively that the condom might be too big.
8)	Prepare yourself by getting an epipen out of your bedroom drawer and mumbling something incoherent about your latex allergy.
9)	Hum the tune of any JLS song.
10)	Mention how much they look like their dad
f
- J

down to Boots to get a packet of Durex. Who and how one should dispose of condoms is a furtherl veritable minefield. Make sure you reach a consensus; I speak from experience when I say that if you both wrongly think the other one has thrown it away, problems arise.
A particularly excruciating moment reared its ugly head a few months ago, when, back home, me and my best mate went out and got pissed in town. It was a cracking night, and I got a lift home from my Milk's	man at about 4am and drunkenly settled into 1 bed, knowing Natasha was being apparently 'walked
home' by some Squaddie (a man in the army, for those of you not from Wiltshire) named 'Darren'.
The following morning I woke up to my Dad asking me why he had heard the sound of a badger dying in our back garden last night. I didn't think anything of it, and we launched into a massive debate about the effectiveness of fox hunting for ridding the countryside of such animals.
Later that evening my parents settled down in front of the telly to watch the news. Next thing my mum's walking up the stairs, holding a used condom between her middle-aged finger tips, shouting 'what on earth has been going on in this house Alice Pelton?!' My first thought was, 'Natasha I hate you for doing this to me', my second thought was, 'with a man named Darren? Really?'
My mum knows the score; she guessed that my best mate had brought some random bloke back to ours. The thought horrified her so much she threatened never to let Natasha step through our front door, ever again. Mid-argument, I walked into my older brother's room to tell him what had happened, and ask him why I'm the unluckiest person on earth. He then did, probably the greatest thing a brother has ever done in the history of brotherhood. His eyes widened like he'd had a great idea and he just looked at me and said 'I'll just say I shagged Natasha!'
Before I could stop him, he got up and walked into my mum's room and announced that him and Natasha were up all last night having rampant sex on my downstairs sofa, and that he was sorry that they didn't use his bedroom, but he was too lazy to walk upstairs (likely story for my brother). My mum immediately burst out laughing. Of course, your best mate having sex with a random bloke isn't funny in the slightest. Your best mate having sex with your older brother is hilarious, apparently.
To this day I'll never understand why my brother took the shit for this one. My mum even frog-marched him up to my Dad and made him say, eyes downcast and muttering in a quiet voice, 'I'm sorry I had sex with Natasha and left the condom on the sofa.' Mum will never know the truth about what really happened that night, and although she's a liberal old bat, it's much better she never does.
I'm actually surprised about how many embarrassing condom related stories I have. HI never forget when I was aged 15 and in the throes of love with my first boyfriend Matt-massive penis-Marsh, I went to the local sexual health clinic to ask for some large-sized condoms in front of a massive queue of people.
The old lady behind the desk turned around to start looking through the boxes of contraceptives, and then realised that the large condoms were in a box, high up on the wall in a distant shelving unit. She had to go and collect a fold out ladder struggle onto it slowly, hoist herself up, then loudly bellow out to the whole of bloody Salisbury 'SO IS IT THE LARGE ONES DEAR?'
It wouldn't have been so bad, had my boyfriends' mum not worked in the same bloody sexual health clinic. Yep, congratulations Mrs Marsh, your son was a catch.
16 SEX & GENDER