'iSe (Beaver
24t(i 7e6ruary, 1992
Tfic Students' Union 9\(fufsvaper of the LomumScft^Ccf 'Economics
Issue 35S
Lambeth stalls LSE bid
Labour in favour of school's plans for County Hall
By Adrian May
The School's moves to acquire County Hall were again hampered on Wednesday evening after the Planning Committee of Lambeth Council deferred discussion of the LSE planning application. The decision came on same day that Mr Brian Gould. Labour Environment spokesman announced that his party had no objections to the School occuj^ng the former seat of London Government.
The Planning Committee claimed the deferral was necessary following the appeal to the House ofLords by the council, against the High Courts' decision to
uphold Environment Sec-retaiy. Michael Heseltine*s granting permission for an office / hotel complex on th e site.
It appeared that members of the Labour Group on the committee had no intention of discussing the proposals, and those present from the LSE viewed the appeal as an excuse to prevent discussion, despite the protestation of Conservative members. The committee. voted 9-4 in favour of deferral.
According to Iain Crawford. LSE Press and Publicity OfRcer. who is masterminding the bid. "Lambeth have given us [LSE] no alternative but to appeal to the Environment
Secretary." Such action is normal procedure in these circumstances, as the council is obliged to deal with all planning applications eight weeks after they are submitted, the LSE having submitted their bid some 8 months ago. Before an appeal is launched it will have to be approved by the Court of Governors, a meeting of which may take up to 21 days to convene.
The School's application has been recommended by Lambeth's planning ofli-cers, and includes a number of 'sweeteners' oflered by the School, such as the appointment of a commu-
Please see Lambeth.
page 2
Ashworth clears Task Force recommendations
By Jason Stacey
Following the publication of the preliminary report by the T^k Force on Student Hardship. Director Dr. John Ashworth announced last Friday that he intended to to order the immediate implementation of all Task Force recommendations.
This means by-passing the Court of Governors and allowing the report to be accepted. TTie meeting of the Court's Standing Committee was scheduled for the 3rd of March where endorsement of the report was expected to have l^en given without opposition. Now. however. School and student bodies can begin implementing the report's recommendations immediately.
The move caused some at first to believe that perhaps the "traditional democratic processes" were not being followed, but the reason given for the decision was that informal contacts had been made by the School to various Governors who all indicated approval for the report. Thus Dr. Ashworth felt that a two week delay before the formal endorsement of the report would be "unnecessary and time-consuming". It has also been suggested that this decision was an attempt by the School authorities to further consolidate the 'new era'of school/ student conciliation and cooperation.
Welcoming the move. Michiel van Hulten, General Secretary of the Stu-
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Rag Week Chairman Martin Lewis sits at a booth outside the Old Theatre with Paul Nugent, selling Rag Ball tickets last week. The success of the week as a whole was questioned by many, but at press time the Beaver was unable to find out the financial profit or lose of the Ball itself. See next week's issue for details.	Photo: Thorsten Moos
dents' Union, dismissed any suggestion that this decision had any negative underlying motives and repeated the claim that the Court of Governors has already given its agreement and so the wait would be unnecessary. This now meant that the Student's Union could begin straight away working on the report's recommendations and he hoped students would begin to see its benefits soon. Van Hulten further added that he hoped politicians would take note of what has happened at the LSE recently but reminded students that they must continue to put the issue of student hardship in the political spotlight.
SU approves new Constitution
By Hans Gutbrod
The LSE Students' Union voted to adopt a new Constitution during an Emergency General Meeting last Thursday.
The new Constitution, proposed by Michiel van Hulten. was accepted by a two-thirds majority at the meeting which Van Hulten had called for. Several amendments had been included since the initial proposal, all of which had previousty been accepted by Van Hulten. Reactions to the new Constitution were positive. Van Hulten admitted that he was "over the moon". He considers the adoption of the new Constitution as "one of his
biggest achievements", as he has put much work into it. Bob Gross, one of the most experienced students in Union matters, said that the newConstitution wasa "great achievement, as it is less bureaucratic and more democratic than the old motion". One of the main advantages.in his eyes were the improvements concerning welfare, since the new Constitution provides for a fourth sabbatical, responsible for welfare, the Equal Opportunities and Welfare Sabbatical.
Speakers from the Revolutionary Communist Party were opposed to its implem-entation. Sinisa Vacic claimed that the new Constitution "did not con-
tain a clear statement against racism, sexism and fascism". He went on to suggest that the new Constitution left the running of the Union to the "sabbaticals and their political aspirations". Suki Wolton maintained that the new Constitution showed that "the management determines what goes on".
Van Hulten answered the allegations by pointing out the specific provisions in the Constitution. After the EGM, members of the DSG claimed that both speakers against the motion "probably had not read the constitution properly" and had opposed it for "purely political reasons".
	Simon Reid and	Machiavelli	Passfield	Neil (what a	Harry reviews
	Ron Voce appeeir	proves he	students win the	surprise)	the Anglo-French
	confused by the	Ccin be a	pools(?) and get a	reviews the new	sporting wars of
	New Constitution	real prince	full-page article	Madness LP	past weeks
	in ^{e'Ws	in CcitnpiLS	in Opinions	in Mtisic	in Sports
	pages	page 4	page?	page 11	page 16

Tfie 'Beaver, 24tfi J^eBnutry, 1992
Commentary
Union
Jac^
"'B" is for 'Boring
Ho hum. Jack swallowed thelast bit of a chicken sandwich in the Brunch Bowl, looked at the clock and saw it was Ipm. Something was on the schedule, but what?
Oh yes, the UGM. Jack shuffled down the stairs and found a seat in the not-too-full Old Theatre floor just in time for the late-to-start Emergency General Meeting that preceeded the UGM last week.
The Constitution was the topic of discussion for this EGM; as Michiel said, the old one was "one big mess."
All amendments had been accepted, which surprised Jack. Then came the realisation that the one stating. "Union notes that the Constitution is boring" was never submitted. Nonetheless, it was duly noted at the EGM.
Sinisa and Suke spoke in turn against the Constitution; Jack listened to their ramblings and wondered why everyone focuses on Michiel as the King of Boredom.
Somewhat of a highlight was Ron's speech in favour of the new Constitution, but then, he's running for something or other anyway, so Jack assumes he was just trying to win the support of all those who oppose Sinisa and Suke (i.e.. nearly everyone).
Michiel gave a nice, quick summation and then the fun began. Yawn.
The minutes were ratified, the officers gave their reports. Same old same old.
Simon took the initiative to show off the General See's week-old hair-do (or is it hair-don't?) by taking Michiel's C-is-for-Chicago Cubs baseball cap. but Big Bob obliged the embarrassed Dutchman by tossing his B-is-for-Boston Red Sox cap up on the podium. (At the time Jack saw it as a fitting exchange: having at first thought the C was for Constitution. B must of course stand for Boring... but such was not the literal case.)
Machiavelli then apologised to Dave "ALF" Jones for the reference in last week's Beaver, and Fiona said something of relative importance.
Jack was almost roused to consciousness by the fact that Suke later proceded to argue with the chair for less time than necessary, but that would have been enough to shock the AU Paris-trippers (say that quickly and find the ambiguity; answers on a French post card...) from their stupor the day after their return. The item which finally caught Jack's interest, though, was the censure of a vegetable.
After two weeks on the order papers, the motion to censure Press and Publicity Officer Ian Prince was discussed. Jack might add. discuss sounds a bit too academic for the debate/talk/slagging that Ian was given; even the praise given by those who opposed the censure (such as an extremely depressed TJ who for the flrst time was on the losing end of a debate), wasn't all that praiseworthy.
Nevertheless, Jack was impressed that the motion passed; after all. Suke spoke in its favour. But the thrice-counted vote was 78-52 in favour of Ian parading around Houghton Street wearing a leek suit and advertising the UGM this coming Thursday afternoon.
Jack was slightly amused, and no doubtwill be in better humour at the next UGM, if Ian does hisjob. But as it was. Jack can find little else to be said of this one. If only the Americans had a baseball team whose cap proudly displays an E for Exciting...
In a special debate about Rushdie's 'The Satanic Verses,' students try to decide,
Should it be banned?
By Sarah Owen
All Imam-Hassan, proposer of last Tuesday's debate, opened by offering a copy of the Holy Koran to his opponent as a gesture of "good faith and mutual understanding'. He also commented on the absense of the SU General Secretary at the debate, entitled TTiis House would ban the Satanic Verses", givenvan Hulten's proposal to elect Salman Rushdie as Honorary President of the Union last term. Throughout his argument, Imam-Hassan stressed the idea of freedom of expression. He asked the opposition to explain the apparent contradiction between the notion of Britain as a 'free country' and the rampant censorship which took place during the Gulf War.
Imam-Hassan attacked the argument from two sides: firstly he ejqplained that the dispute over the 'Satanic Verses' arises from a misunderstanding among cultures. He attempted to assert that the offensive nature of the book, from an Islamic perspective, should be a 'reasonable motive' for it to be banned in all cultures. This argument was clarified by Imam-Hassan's expressed conviction that work of such a "derogatory and offensive nature" cannot possibly promote cross-cultural understanding. Secondly. Imam-Hassan appealed to the emotions behind the modem feminist movement by claiming that. "Muslim women have more rights than the Western dolly". However, he stipulated that in Rushdie's novel, women are "de-
graded to the level of sex objects". This offensive impression of women. Imam-HasSan argued, cannot be allowed to 'infiltrate* modem society, nor should it be seen as the Muslim view. Imam-Hassan concluded by calling the Satanic Verses a "book of pornography, [a] book of racism".
The opposer of the motion, SeniorTreasurerToby Johnson, provided the argument in favour of 'unrestricted publication' and sale of the Satanic Verses. Johnson argued that a limited form of freedom of expression should be exercised in society. Debating from a non-Islamic viewpoint. he claimed that the Satanic Verses actually helped him to come to a greater understanding of the Islamic faith. Any ra-
cism related to the book's publication. Johnson argued, stemmed from the Islamic reaction, not from the book's actual content. According to Johnson, the Satanic Verses is a 'fictional novel' with fictional characters and plot. He claimed that it does "not slander nor do personal harm to any particular individual".
Although Imam-Hassan conceded that the book does make reference to several Islamic religious figures, Johnson negated him by stating that the novel does not stimulate readers to commit violent racial attacks. Johnson concluded by remarking, "When you pick up the Satanic Verses, you know whatyou're lettingyourself in for". No final consensus was achieved on the issue.
Umbrellas fend off apathy
Students form political group to tackle LSE issues
By Beaver Staff
The Umbrellas Group is a new organisation set up in the attempt to tackle 'student apathy'.It hopes to revive interest by being "devoted to tackling LSE student issues, including the concerns of both sexes whatever their nationality, beliefs, ethnic background, or sexuality." Founded by James Pearson. James Brown. Razia Sharif and Quinn Morgan, it claims not to be a political party, but aims to unite those running as independents in the forthcoming elections to try to maximize the impact of their campaign.
Morgan reports that "It's a lot of work": the founders aim to open up student politics to people previously uninvolved. and say the group is "very multicultural".
Morgan goes on to stress that the group has no political goals and no manifesto. but rather is a platform for discussion to open up the Student's Union and make it more 'user-
James Pearson. Razia Sharif and Qttinn Morgan of the Umbrellas Group.
Photo: Thorsten Moos
friendly*. He adds that they are not opposed to political parties per se. but merely apart from them, and suggests that this will reverse student apathy, getting more people, especially
overseas students involved. So far their meetings have on average attracted between 10 and 15 people. Morgan ended by stating that "The Student's Union has to take into account
that this is a multicultural university."
The Group meets in the Underground on Monday from 1 until 2 and Thursday from 12 until 1 eveiy week.
Lambeth, from page 1
nity Worker, public access to the walkway at the front of the building, provision of two places for Lambeth Councillors on the Court of Governors, and use of the building by any future Greater London Authority for ceremonial purposes.
As a result of the announcement of the appeal. LSE's chances of getting County Hall have marginally improved, as it now means that no one has permission to use the site, whereas in the past
the school was competing against the Hotel/office proposal. Whilst the School does not have planning permission, it is yet to be turned down.
Crawford is still optimistic. "We have as broad as political support as can be hoped for, smd we are the only group that has actually expressed an interest in buying the site," he said referring to the fact that the Hotel/office complex application was put in by the London Residuary Body at the instigation of a now bankrupt consortium. "Academics here (at the
LSE] tell me that, assuming a boom tomorrow, it could take 7 years to soak up all the empty office space in London. In those circumstances no commercial developer wants the site."
With the Hotel/office complex development stall^, Crawford claims the School is in a good position to talk to the building's owners, the London Residuary Body, who up to now have refused to see the LSE as serious contenders. partly because the School has not had planning permission and also because they did not be-
lieve the School could finance the purchase. Crawford believes that unless the situation can be resolved by the Environment Secretary, the planning problems will only be cleared after the election.
As far as how long LSE can carry on pursuing the bid Crawford says that we will have to know by the summer term if we have the building, as the School seriously has to consider its space needs for the future.
Ifie (Beaver, Z4tk JeBruary, 1992
H8

Is that ConstitutionaCF
UGM Chairman Simon Reid and Vice-Chairman Ron Voce look confused as to the order of business, after the Union approved the new and improved Constitution Thursday.	Photo: Steve East
Eastern Europeans want technical aid
Conference speakers echo this plea
By Tim Rayner and Steve Peake
"We don't need preachers; we already know the gospels. What we need Is technical assistance," declared Mr. Yonov. European Councillor of the Bulgarian embassy, setting the tone for the "Eastern Europe Conference" held in the Old Theatre on February 14th to discuss the evohing relationship between the European Community and its eastern neighbours.
The conference, organl-sedjolntly by the European Societies of the LSE and Kings College London, heard Mr. Yonov's sentiments echoed by the rest of the five man panel, consisting of diplomats and advisors representing Czechoslovakia. Hungary. Rumania and Lithuania, as well as Bulgaria.
In the two years since the momentous revolutions of 1989. the Initial euphoria of the peoples of the former Eastern Bloc has been replaced by the sobering realisation that the west, so enthusiastic in its applause for the overthrow of communism, is not quite so forthcoming when it comes to aiding the painful and dangerous transition to the free market. E^ch speaker In turn lamented the lack of western Investment in their economic reform programmes, and warned of the enormity of the challenges ahead.
The British government was singled out for particular criticism by Mr. Yonov. who claimed that the Foreign Ofilce's "know-how fund" was inadequate. What was needed was a long term "Investment in security", involving large scale transfers of technology and educational assistance. With such meagre
levels of foreign exchange at their disposal. Eastern European governments could be expected to send their students for training In the west; rather, the best way for the countries of the EEC to demonstrate their commitment to the reform process would be by sending teachers east. ,
On this point. First Secretary Puscasciuc of the Romanian embassy highlighted the marked absence of British academics in Bucharest. There were Americans, Canadians and New Zealanders; every English speaking people. It seemed, except the British. For Rumania, apart from the obvious need for Investment of working capital, help was especially required In the development of management and administrative skills^
Despite dissatisfaction with the levelofWest European Interest, the five panellists were nevertheless unanimous that EEC membership offered the only realistic guarantee of long term prosperity and stability - even if it would not be possible for at least ten years. On the question of possible regional cooperation In the meantime, only First Secretary Puscasciuc expressed much enthusiasm: a-Black Sea free trade area could prove especlalfy uselul for Rumania, he said.
The goal for Hungary -the most stable and eco-nomicalfy successful of the newly emergent democracies, and . together with Czechoslovakia and Poland. an associate member of the EEXI: - was nothing short of full Integration in the world economy. Such a goal would not be served by participation In anything constituting a revival of the old COMECON system.
Tietmeyer stresses need for stability
Commercial Councillor Sziklay was keen to emphasise. Since there was only one Europe, there was no sense in creating separate institutions.
The success of Hungary's plan to achieve a "modem. European social market economy" by 1993 was dependent on a supportive external environment, the Councillor added. The turmoil in Yugosla\ia and the former Soviet Union had raised anxiety and damaged the economy.
Dismissing the suggestion that membershipof the EEC would simpfy mean the replacement of one bureaucratic tyranny with another. Mr. Alvydas Medallnskas, Assistant to the Vice President of Lithuania. retorted that his country had much more to fear from the Red Army than from any Brussels bureaucracy. Indeed, the most urgent task was the removal of the Red Army, which even today retains bases on Lithuanian soil, and continues to send threatening notes to the government in Vilnius. The West should help by building new homes for returning Red Army soldiers.
Nor did the rest of the panel seem perturbed by the suggestion that the Interests of Western Eu-rt>pe. far from tying in the promotion of genuine economic development in the east, might rather lie in the maintenance of the area as a cheap source of labour. First Secretary Janson, of the Czech and Slovak embassy, welcomed the acquisition of the Skoda car works by the German giant Volkswagen.
For Eastern Europe, it seems, there Is onfy one thing worse than being exploited, and that is not being exploited.
By Jxilian Sykes
Dr Hans Tietmeyer. Vice president of the Bundesbank. and widely tipped to be the future President, spoke at the Ludwig Er-hard Memorial Lecture at the LSE last Tuesday. Becoming President would make him one of the most 'powerful* men in Europe, and the person that would shape and define the development of economic and monetary union. The power and Influence of the Bundesbank was graphically illustrated just before Christmas 1990. when the It raised German interest-rates. This move was reluctantly emulated by the rest of Europe, except Britain, during economic recession when the desire was for interest-rate reduction. The two themes that were stressed by Tietmeyer during the talk were the prime importance of price stability, and the necessity for Central bank independence.
Fundamen tal to Erhard's beliefs was a monetary policy orientated towards stability. This was essential to the operation of the social market economy and helped to prevent social unrest. Erhard's views on the primacy of monetary stability continue to influ-
Dr. Hans Tietmeyer Photo: Thorsten Moos
ence the German position on European monetary union. Moves towards greater political union, that took place at Maastricht, will require even greater convergence in economic policy. In order to achieve this. Tietmeyer explained. Germany insisted that convergence criteria to determine eligibility for membership of EMU were Included In the Maastricht treaty. Germany will only be prepared to accept a European monetary union in the shape of a community of stability. According to netmeyer, as a result of Germany's two experiences of hyper inflation She is especially sensitive to inflation risks which accounts for the importance
attached to price stability.
Tietmeyer suggested that price stabllitymust be given a sound institutional base. The Europ)ean System of Central Banks that will be granted responsibility for a common European monetary policy will be Independent of governments and parliaments. The experience of the politically Independent Bundesbank has shown. Tletm^er argued, that a Central Bank Is better able to ensure stability If it Is independent of institutions which are locked into the cycle of political elections. Political independence should not however be confused with lack of political control, the Vice-President stressed, members of the governing bodies will be appointed by democratically legitimated institutions. Also provision has been made for the system to be able to present and explain its policy before the European Parliament.
In conclusion Dr Tietmeyer -said that the Bundesbank would continue to do everything in Its power to defend monetary stability in Germany and Europe the current German Inflation rate of4%, although very low by European standards, was not acceptable to the Bundesbank.
Exchange planned for LSE, Hungarian students
By Hans Gutbrod
The LSE Students' Union has agreed on an exchange programme with the Students' Union of Szeged in Hungary. Adocu-ment containing the agreement was signed on last Monday by, SU General Secretary, Mlchiel van Hulten and Fonyi Tamas, the Head Official of the Students' Union of Szeged. The exchange programme includes plans for a trip by a group of LSE Students to Hungary and Rumania in April, as well as a visit by a group of Hungarian students to the LSE at the end of April and beginning of May. Travel costs are to be paid by the individuals taking part in the trip. Accommodation and me^s will be provided by the hosts. In addition to the
Easter exchange the SU envisages an additional opportunity for LSE Students to take part in a summer vacation working camp in Hungary. The summer camp would involve a light programme of agricultural work. The dates for the working camp have not been agre^ yet, but it is expected that it is going to take place sometime between the beginning of July and the end of August. Modest sums of money might be earned, even though it Is admitted that the money can only serve as a 'token'. When informed about the plans for the working camp, different Eastern European students at the LSE doubted the usefulness of students doing agricultural work in Hungary. It has been suggest^ that skills
could be put to much better use, such as English language teaching.
Van Hulten agrees that this is not the ideal solution yet. but maintains that "the first step of establishing contact" has been made.He points out that the document concerning the exchange programme also contains the agreement that trips will be organised forindividualstudy groups wherever possible, ^rthermore a provision for mutual exchange of Information has been made in the document.
It is generally hoped that there will be participation on the side of the students at the LSE. At the LSE Shablr Jogee is responsible for coordinating the exchange.
Meir Vanunu defends brother
By Beaver Staff
Melr Vanunu brother of Mordechai Vanunu, who is currently serving an eighteen and a half year prison sentence in Israel for espionage and treason, spoke in the Old Theatre on Wednesday.
He spoke for half an hour and then allowed questions from the floor. After the first question from Solomon
Moshi, Vanunu allegedly launched an 'attack' on all Jewish students referring to them as the "foot soldiers of the Israeli state". Jewish Society political officer Martin Lewis questioned this acusation saying that it was an, "offensive, dangerous and misguided statement, which is untrue." and that 'Jewish students may support the Israeli state, but not neces-
sarily the government of the day's policies."
The allegedly harsh accusations towards the Jewish students continued, which resulted In some bad natured responses. The debate between the Jewish students and Vanunu continued in a heated fashion outside and then dissipated when both sides walked away.
4cmMi$
Qfie 'Beaver, 24th J'eBruaru, 1992
Si
MacfiiaveCCi
Things are certainly beginning to heat up in the Sabbatical elections. The big question, with the demise of the Labour Club. has been who is going to provide the opposition to the DSG? The answer, it appears, lies in Umbrellas.
So far. at least three 'Umbrella' groups have been set up for this purpose, including the by now infamous'Left Society'. The other two are less politically defined, but some interesting combinations are beginning to emerge.
The first has been set up under the leadership of Razia 'razzle dazzle' Sharif.
She has now renounced on her intention to run for E/ops and Welfare and is now going for the big one itself. In this attempt, she is going to be partnered by the chief Balcony Boy in the form of James Pearson. James's desire to take over Chancellor Tubby's job seems strange, and his past UGM activities could well come back to haunt him on the hustings. Will he be as good at the job as he is at making paper aeroplanes? Only time will tell. Undoubtedly, this group will receive strong support from McMuffin and they certainly will be a force to be reckoned with.
The second group has an even unholier alliance. Fazil Zahir. Ron Voce and Neil 'Blunder Boy* Andrews have teamed up to contest the positions of General Secretary. Finance and Entertainments respectively. To aid them in their attempt, they have called upon that bastion of Conservative political campaigns, Saatchi &Saatchi. to propel their image on the unsuspecting punters. Apparently this will include 'stunts' to raise awareness. You have been warned. Interestingly, this group has been seen conversing deeply with the SeniorTreasurer. Is Chancellor Tubby about to defect, or is he acting in the role of a Machiavellian Prince?
Speaking of Chancellor Tubby (Dodgy Stubble Growth), his chances of attaining the post of General Secretary seem to be slipping away. The revelations in last weeks Beaver of his sordid love life and inappropriate reading matter will surely count heavily against him when the puritanical DSG come tochosetheirnominations. AntoniaMochan now appears favourite to seize this, although she will have to promise not to do to E207 what she recently did to a hotel room in Paris.
At the moment things appear to be too open to even contemplate listing odds. However, one interesting fact is beginning to emerge. So far this year we have had eight Chairs or Vice Chairs at UGM. Of these, Razia. James. Neil, Ron and Antonia are definitely running, whilst aged Union Hack Bob Gross and Simon Reid are rumoured to be interested. Why is it that the UGM allows this independent and stately position to be openly abused by people who are only interested in raising their own profile? I think we should be told.
Machiavelli also oiTers an unconditional apology to Dave Jones. Although committed to the cause of animal rights, Dave has never been a member of. or involved in. the ALF. Sorry, Dave.
Soviet plot for world domination uncovered
Joe Lavin asks us to "Just Say No to Tetris
99
"Hi, um. my name is Joe, and um I haven't played Tetris in four minutes."
Applause
"Well, it's probably more like three and a half minutes."
"Honesty. Hiat's good, Joe. We here at Tetris-aholics Anonjonous justwanttohelpyou. Don't you feel better?"
"No. Can I go play Tetris now?"
"Sony, there is no Tetris game here."
"Well. I brought my Gameboy. Can I just play one game?"
"Just say no."
"It'll be a real short one. Honest. Ill start on level nine."
"No. Resist that urge."
"You can play next."
"Oh. well, all right then."
O.K.. I made this up. I haven't yet gone to Tetrls-aholics Anon3nmous. but I may need to soon. I have seven more essajrs to write this term, and all I want to do Is play Tetris. A friend of mine knows someone who blamed the grades of an entire term on Tetris. and I'm starting to wonder If my professors will accept Tetris as an excuse. "Well, yes, Sir. the game lasted an entire week, so you can understand why I haven't started my essays." True. I'm not playing this very moment, but the only reason I'm able to write this is because it has something to do with Tetris.
By the way. if you don't know what Tetris is. I'm not telling you. It'sforyour own good. It's not too late. Stop reading right now. Go
straight to the opinion page. And by all means, don't even think about starting to play this evil Russian computer game.
Personally. I think it's all a communist plot. Ttiose Russians don't fool me with all this Commonwealth rubbish. They've shoved this game on to the western world, and now they're lajring low while our entire generation gets addicted to it. In a few years, the Soviets will pop back up and invade the west, and none of us will even notice because we'll be too busy staring at computer screens and yelling things like. "Give me a stick! Give me a stick! God damnit! Give me a f***ing stick!" All the while, the Soviets will be raping, pillaging, and murdering in the bacl^round.
The whole problem began a few weeks ago when someone left Tetris on a hard drive in the Macintosh room. I had never before played and had largely shunned computer games, but still something inside of me squealed. "Hey Cool! Tetris!" and forced me to copy it onto disk. That same something glued me to the game for the next hour.
I now find myself wandering to the computer room to play Tetris and nothing else. Oh, sometimes. I claim to myself that I'm going to work on an essay, but it's really Tetris that I'm there for. I usualfy play just one game, not because I can control myself. but because of guilt. After all. twenty-five other
people are busily slaving away on essays and resumes. whUe six others desperately wait for a computer to work on. Meanwhile, I sit there gleefulty playing a computer game. Sooner or late. I figure some unhappy soul is going to take a guillotine out.
I'm also corrupting other people, like when I saw my friend Tim in the computer room writing an essay. Tim was a reformed Tetris-aholic. meaning he had no access toTetris. This ended, when I breezed in. played a quickgame(s) ofTetris, gave him a copy of the game and left. As I left, he was in the midst of his second game, and the guy next to him had ceased all intellectual activity and was Just staring at the game. He was in the middle of saving a document. and all he needed to do was hit the return key, but to do so would have meant he might have to take his ^es away from Tetris for a spilt second. Apparently, that was just too much to ask.
Sadly, the game has now Invaded my flat. Some evil person who actually thought he was being nice let us borrow a Gameboy Tetris game which quickly became our social life. We had a party in our flat the other weekend, and throughout much of it two normally social people were hidden in one of the back rooms playing Tetris.
Eiven Steve. anotherTet-ris virgin, who's usually not in the flat, returned one night, saw Tetris. and was consumed with an addic-
tion. He Just stood In our kitchen motionless and possessed as various people walked around him. He had headphones plugged Into the machine for better sound and was still there forty minutes later. We even had visitors from Dublin, and I'm not sure if he noticed.
Later. I was warned that if you play too much, you start having Tetris dreams. So now. I'm scared to go to sleep, primarily because I know this was no false warning. My roommate last year had a computer game called Sim City in which I guess you're supposed to connect things like buildings and railroads. Luckily. I never played, but I remember he missed a class once because he turned off his alarm one morning in the middle of a dream. His excuse was that he was trying to "connect" his alarm to a building.
I. of course. Just laughed at him. knowing that this would never happen to me. knowing that I was somehow superior to him. Now. though, I'm not so sure, and I just pray that I don't have a Tetris dream. Luckily, another flatmate Drew sent the Gameboy away and out of our flat after spending an entire day playing It. So I now have to trek all the way to the computer room to play. I might just recover, after all.
Well, anyway, that's it for the waming. I'm Just going to play a quick game ofTetris. Seeya.
Think before you drink
Fiona MacDonald on Drink Wise Week, 24th - 28th Feb.
LSE can boast of having one of the cheapest range of alcoholic beverages in any of the London Colleges. Students take particular notice of the Inflationary price Increases that take place eveiy year during the summer. The Three Tuns produces a significant amount of the S.U. income to op>erate very important welfare and admlnlstraUve services.
Effectively, the S.U. operates a policy which encourages students to drink alcohol. LONDON STUDENT (13/2/92 issue) has a feature two-page spread on this issue. The most popular nights In S.U.'s around the countiy are the ones when students can get their favourite or in fact everyone's least favourite spirit (Tequila) on the cheap, effectively offering students an Incentive to drink a lot.
No Social and Services candidate is going to storm
an election on the "Let's Not Drink Because It's Bad For You" Ucket or by advocating disaffiliation from the NUS as the S.U. pays them £16.000 per year for cheap beer. Being realistic, the bar is often the focus of a student's social life, and alcohol is often used to facihtate social relationships.
The purpose of a Drink Wise Week is as the name states, many students drink alcohol and prohibiting such a "right" is impractical. the Students' Union is therefore responsible for encouraging Its students to drink sensibly.
Drink Wise Week is organised annually by the S.U. During the week there will be an InformaUon stall in The Quad. Traditionally students pass by with little time to spare for a subject th^ don't think concerns them. unfortunately throughout the year the S.U.'s Welfare Office deals
with problems that students develop through excessive use/abuse of alcohol.
Mother Hen approaches don't work with students, the S.U. wants to provide the student body ^th information and encourage awareness in order to allow students to make Informed decisions about their alcohol consumption. Alcohol abuse can lead to irreversible physical afflictions such as mental damage, liver malfunctions, memory loss, and serious addiction. Students may also find that their consumption of alcohol leads to debt - although the S.U. sells alcohol very cheaply, pints add up financially. Abuse of alcohol may also have negative effects on personal relationships which are Important to most students.
TTiere are choices when you socialise in bars. Although the promotion of alcoholic drinks is quite the
norm in bars, this week The Three Tuns and The Underground will make a special effort to emphasize to the students the wide range of low-alcohol and non-alcoholic drinks that are on offer in these bars.
This week we will also be asking students to participate In a sponsored non-drink week where you can try out not drinking alcohol foraweekor more AND raise money for charity. Participants can pick up sponsorship forms from The Three Tuns. The Underground. The Beaver's Ftetreat and E206 (Social Secretary's Oflice). Money raised will go to the Alcoholics Anonymous group.
If you want any further Information or require advice In confidence then contact the S.U. welfare office In Room E297.
cmmis $
Busy Beaver
BB writes absolutely nothing about the AU Paris trip...honest!
Gossip time! Passfield held their rag 'slave auction' last week. The Mad Queen Beaver was bought for £30 (a veritable bargain). She has been instructed to dress up in suspenders, bra. and leather and give eleven Kiwis. Aussies. and South Africans back and body massages at a local hospital. See, you can still make £30 go a long way.
One poor chap called Fergus was made to take a three hour bath in mud and baked beans. Oh yes, he also had to have his head shaved (a la van Hulten).
The prize question for this week is what do a third year female Pass-field resident, dodgy •foursomes', and sheep
bleatings have in common? Answers, as usual, on a postcard to BB c/o Beaver. First prize is a year's sup-piy of the Beaver. Yes. second prize is two year's supply...
Okay, maybe I lied a little bit when I said that I wasn't going to write anything about the AU Paris weekend. Well, maybe I lied a lot, as I'm going to devote the rest of the column to these fine athletes. Trust me, it's well worth reading on.
Equipped with the man-datoiy viking helmets and plastic breasts, the fearsome fighting force of the LSE's Athletics Union set sail to conquer the French once again. President Brownie staggered ahead of his troops, leading by example (except when he
was unconscious, of course). Paris had seen nothing like it since., .since the last AU trip.
or President Brownie, who is no stranger to alcohol poisoning, outdid himself on this trip. By Friday night his team mates were about ready to call an ambulance for him. Let's just say that his state had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he was also knocked over by a car and had his head slammed into a juggernaut by a fellow rugby player.
Brownie, who's pigeonlike homing abilities are as infamous as his hair cuts, stepped out into the middle of a busy Paris street one night, stopped a car and said. Take me home." And it did. Considering he was several miles from home, a
little bit inebriated, and equipped with a French vocabulary consisting of approximately three words, this feat was quite remarkable.
The Women's Officer certainly enjoyed her outing to Paris. So did a certain hockey player (who we will simply call JR). These two facts are not unconnected, if you get my drift. In fact she enjoyed herself so much that she had to phone back to her dear old LSE to tell us about it. One drunken evening she was heard to say (and I quote), "Brett, you're fucked. Si-mone, you're fucked. And I'm getting fucked."
BB hears that a lovely sticky 'laBel" had a brief but passionate sexual encounter with a "waiter" outside a Parisian restau-
rant, in full view of the ch-entele.
The rugby team performed their traditional rendition of 'Father Abraham' in a Greek restaurant. This, of course, ends up with the entire team standing complete^ naked. Though, BB hears that a certain Portuguese member of the team unbelieva-bty refused to remove his boxer shorts at the required moment. A reliable source informed this column that it was due to embarrassment over having a "small penis".
For some strange reason Chips, the AU's favourite lady, did not return with the rest of the tour. In fact she ilew back the next day (airfare paid by a French gentleman). Now BB doesn't know what she got
up to but she was heard to say, "I've had so much sex this weekend that IVe lost weight." Quote of the week, though, has to be this Chips Classic. "To think that both of boyfriends expected me to remain faithful!"
To be honest, we could devote the whole of the Beaver to this AU trip and still not get all the gossip in. No doubt the Sports section (yes. sports did happen) will have their own version of the events. We are all very happy to see that the AU has once again upheld the LSE's unrivalled international reputation. Oh yes. the suntanned Antipodean has the flag from the Sally Line ship...
B.B.
Then the drink takes the man
Doug Mathers, Student Health Psychotherapist, warns of the dangers of drinking.
There is no doubt that alcohol is the most popular recreational drug at LSE. indeed, this institution has been described as "Chaos suspended In alcohol" and fleldwork in the Three Tlins. the Beavers Retreat and the individual hall bars would support this. With the exception of religious abstain -ers, everyone at LSE drinks, it's enjoyable. It lubricates social events, overcomes inhibitions, eases tensions and bolsters Student Union and hall funds. You name it - alcohol makes it better. "Pure Genius?"
Nothing stops us drinking alcohol, least of all knowing the consequences of drinking too much. We know that about a pint and a half (three units) a day is a safe limit for men. and half this for women. We know it causes liver failure. heart disease, and brain damage, 'refreshing' these parts of our bodies other beers cannot reach. It leaves us hung-over, unable to study or work, it breaks up families and relationships, and contributes to crime and violence. Yet this knowledge makes
no difference, most students try to ignore it by saying: "It can't happen to me, it doesn't happen here, it's not a problem."
But it does happen here and it is a problem, recent examples of alcoholism Include a man with an income of £4000 a year who drinks twelve cans of strong lager every day, and a woman who drinks a bottle of vodka every two days -each spends about £6000 a year, others gets evicted as a result of p>ersistent drunkenness. We must realise that alcoholism )%a
problem every day for people from all walks of life, it is a real issue which we must accept as a problem before it can be solved.
This article is about having control over your life, in drug abuse, whether alcohol ornicotine. the drug itself is not the primaiy problem - drinks do not pour spontaneously out of a bottle and force their way past unwilling lips - we make the decision to have a drink, and each decision gets easier after the first. Alcohol is a depressant, and the first thing it depresses
is the inhibitory part of the brain, as the ancient Japanese poem says:
First the man takes a drink.
Then the drink takes a drink.
Then the drink takes the man.
In this school we believe certain myths - we are "Special", we are at "the best Social Science school in Europe". There are pressures to achieve, to succeed. but some myths thr^ten our ability to con-
trol our lives - so why not drink to relieve the stress? Alcohol gives the illusion of being powerful, and illusions - like success itself, can be terribly attractive.
The solution to this problem is not simple, but first we must learn to live with uncertainty, with the fear of losing control of our lives, with the chaos that is life. With alcohol, the solution often reinforces the problem.
Love your library
?
Madeline Gwyon spouts on about vandalism, theft and mutilation at the British Library of Political and Economic Sciences
Today is the start of a new scheme being run by the library, called the "Library Bookwatch Week". Personally. I have enough problems watching or looking at any books, even during the most acute essay crises, so I decided to check out what this watch-ingbooks was all about from those famous library people themselves.
Apparently, it has something to do with the all too famous Task Force. Oh no, not again, I hear you ciy. There is a paragraph in the Task Force resolutions (number 23 to be exact) which states that the library should hold some kind of event enabling stu-
dents to be more aware of the vandalism, mutilation and theft that occurs with the all too sacred books. I muttered something about knowing all about it'any-way because the bo<^ that I really need always seem to have the vital pages torn out. It turned out that this is only the tip of the iceberg.
It costs the library around £35,000 each year to repair and replace damaged. mutilated or lost books. That is a lot of money that could be spent on other things.... like buying more boofe. I was shown examples of books that the dog chewed. This is no exaggeration. There were
actually teeth marks everywhere and pages completely mutilated, next on my tour of duty were books with pages ripped out of them. Ffipped is actually the wrong word because people had taken razor blades to these works and destroyed them. One charmless individual had actually cufrefully removed the entire text from between the hardbacked covers of this work (on howto swindle money out of thcr Stock market) and had replaced it in the shelf with two smaller books inside it so that nobody would notice. How stupid can you get.
Having been taken on my tour of the horror section of
the library, I wasjustabout to climb ri^t on to my moral higlr horse when the library st^said something that quite surprised me.
"The problem here is not nearly as bad as public libraries. We only lose about 0.3% of our stock each year through damage like this. With public libraries it is nearer to 1% of stock. The idea of this exhibition os 'not really to show student^ what vandals they rgafly are. It is more to do with showing how much valuable student time as well as library staff time is lost through having to replace and repair books."
Having heard how charitable the stafl'were towards
all of these heinous crimes, I decided it was time to hear some more statistics about all of this stuff that goes on with books. It turns out that around 350 books are stolen every year. A further 150 are reported lost by readers. These cost about £11,000 to replace but at least 10% of them are out of print and unavailable. In addition to this, approximately 1,000 books each years suffer from vandalism of one sort of another, costing the li-brcuy £12,000 annually to repair, and another 1.300 are damaged each year through general wear and tear, costing another £12.000 to sort out.
I have to admit despite normally felling distinctly unwell at the mere mention of a library. I found all of this information very interesting and I quite enjoyed talking to the library staff, who I should mention are actually quite human after all. So. if you venture into the library at all this week, take a look at the notice boards in the exhibition area (on the left hand side near the turnstiles) where I am sure you will find a fascinating read. It certainly beats the pants off any course requirement books in tpsKis ofengaging inljjpmation.
6 cypMcws

iJie 'BeaveT,24tkJebnuiry, 1992
The 'Beaver
Following on from last weeks editorial a number of mistakes were pointed out by the Rag chair as regards the editors slating of the organisation of Rag week Ity the committee: the all-day bar was organised by them in conjunctionwith bar manager. The abseiling was also not an independent Rag event but was once again put on with the help of the committee.
Fair enough. However I feel inclined to say that last weeks editorial missed the point sUghtfy. The problem at LSE is not that we tiy to make money soley on campus and It is not because the committee organises it that way. Whilst to a certain extent they do. it is only because of the limited manpower available to them. Some ofyou may have already heard of the efforts of St. Barts' Medical College. With under five hundred students to its' name it managed in the course of one week to raise a sum that went well into five figures. If we exclude the 50% postgrads who haven't got the time to participate, and 50% of the remainder who are overseas students who have not necessarily heard of Rag. and if say just for good measure we exclude all the third years as well, then we are still left with over eight hundred students, of which only about 10% participate in Rag. The problem isn't planning here it's participation or should I say the severe lack of it; TTie problem here is that nobody can be bothered. The problem here is. dare 1 say it apathy. Sad really isn't it?
Executive Editor Slave Editor Managing Editor News Editors Campus Editors Features Editor Arts Editor Music Editor Sports Editors
Photographic Editor Financial Director Production Assistant
Madeline Gwyon Navin Reddy Monica C. Neal Emma Bearcroft Jerome Harris Paul Bou Habib Ben Accam Neil Andrews Andrew Graveson
Ian Staple^^ Steve Ea^B^ T. James Brown P.'Andrew Nugent
Staff: George Binette, Simon Bradbeny, Paul Cann, Bobby Charlton. Thomas Cohrs. Andrew Cox. Sarah Eglin. Frank Eich. Patrick Eyre. John Fenton-Fischer, Nick Fletcher. Gavin Gilham. Leo Griffin, Hans Gutbrod. Peter Harrad. Daniel Harris. Justin Harper. BeckyHartnup. Rob Hick. E^uardo Jauregui. Thomas Jepsen. Sahr Johnny, Toby Johnson, Scott Kelly. Joe Lavin, Martin Lewis. Nat Lofthouse. FionaMacDonald. StavrosMakris. Pemilla Malmfalt. Adrian May, Brett Melzer, Thorsten Moos, Paul Nugent, Sarah Owen, Andrew Pettitt, Rodrigo Pizarro, David Price. Ian Prince. Zaffar Rashid. Geoff Robertson. Laurence Ryan, Adam C. Ryder, Bella Sleeman. Julian Sykes, Steve Thomas. Michiel van Hulten. Ron Voce, Stuart Wilkes, Faz Zahir.
Printed by Eastway Offset,
3-13 Hepscott Road. London, E9
This issue was produced under the editorship of Navin Reddy. who was purchased in the Passfield Hall Rag Week Slave Auction for £10. Any<^6c.k-ups are entirely his responsibility. *
Post Haste
Letters due to E197, by hand or Internal mail, by 4pm Wednesday
Dave Bites Back
Dear Editor,
I read with complete horror your 'anonymous' Machiavelli column last week. What a sense of humour! I am not against personal attacks that Eire written within your boundaries of 'humour*, however 1 am disgusted at the slanderous allegation of my membership of the Animal Liberation Front. It seems that the Beaver collective has its' roots on a different plane of reality to any normal persons. You don't seem to realise the seriousness of this allegation as the ALF is an illegal organisation.
I am not and never have been a member of t^e ALF. it seems the roots of this allegation are based on the fact that the Vegetarian Society (of which I am a member) invited Robin Webb, the press officer for (not of) the ALF in to SF>eak. Robin Webb is not a member of the ALF but is a respected ex-council member of the RSPCA. I support anim2d rights, but does this justify calling all vegetarians/vegans terrorists? I think noti
I would like to hear an explanation condoning this slander (and an apology), on your part as I feel 1 am completely justified in being extremely upset.
Yours in disgust.
Dave
Jones (Welfore Officer)
P.S. Is the rumour true that we pay sabbaticals to write anonymous articles for your paper?
In reply please refer to this weeks Machiavelli
As Andy Baly got it Wrong?
Dear Beave^^s^
Andy Baly's letter in last weeks	*• Beaver
underestimates the number of LSE students on the NUS march. Many were able to make their own way there with travelcards. particularly after the lectures that the ^choolsadly refused tore-
The^ublicity for the marchVasveiy good. Each hall was leafletted - I canvassed support in Passfleld.
Baly gdso raises the issue of the lost LSESU banner.
1 am pleased. Perhaps he would be so kind as to raise this matter with the members of the Left Society who were left in charge of the banner on the Kings College march.
Bafy does not state what "useful action" the UGM might take. An occupation perhaps? Thankfully DSG was able to channel the anger of students into the Task Force to achieve tangible gains. The tantrums of Baly's Left Society are not "useful actions".
1 am the first to admit that the problems of students can only be solved by a change in government policy.
However this does not give our union Officers the excuse to not get our own house in order or achieve the best settlement within the LSE.
This they have done and consequently they have best represented the interests of LSE students.
By all means have a "right-on" brain, but don't just sit on it.
Peter Harris, DSG. SU Welfare Representative.
Yet Another John Pannu Letter
Dear Beaver,
I was unimpressed with your interpretation of my apology printed in the last issue.
1 provided the apology because it was the right thing to do. not because of some irresistible pressure from the Beaver or Union hacks, in fact there was no pressure. The 'earbashing' I am supposed to have received is news to me! Still, atlesistyou spelt my apology correctly (full marks to the Beaver writer with GCSE English).
By..the way. when is the Beaver going to follow my example i.e. accept responsibility for its' mistakes and rectify them? When is the Beaver going to stop making regularfiactual errors in its' news reporting? When is the Beaver going to start apologising for them? When is the Beaver going to stop relying on Sabbaticals for newscopy. and start finding out what is happening in the rest of LSE? When is the Beaver going to stop levelling abuse at people just for the sake of it? Etc. Etc.
Unimpressed	of
Houghton Street.
John Pannu Governor)
•^^tudent
Could you be a little bit more ^specific in your criticis'^s please Mr. Pannu-which mistakes, which factual errors, which bits of newscopy. etc. etc. What are you talking about exactly
Is Anti-Zionism Another name for Anti-
Semitism?
Dear Beaver,
Last weeks UGM and subsequent debate have focused on the question whether anti-rfonism is anti-semitism. We think it is not only wrong to equate the two. but dangerous.
For the record, we are opposed to the existence of a Zionist state of Israel and uncompromisingly committed to fighting anti-semitism and racism.
Historically, the left failed to fight anti-semitism. As a consequence of the failure to defeat anti-semitism. many Jewish people looked to Zionism as a solution. We need to understand that Zionism is a product of the defeat of fighting anti-semitism. In the context of that defeat, the onfy way a Jewish state could be created was with the aid of Imperialism. And the setting up ofa state of Israel represented the imposition of Imperialist rights to the Pcilestinian people. As the first governor of the state of Palestine said in 1924; "We are creating a loyal little Ulster in a sea of hostile arabs."
The Israeli state exists at the expense of Palestinian rights and it is a 'bloody trap' for Jewish people. The state of Israel does not represent a safe haven for Jewish people. A machine gun slung over the shoulder is no necessary fashion accessory in the restaurants and buses of Jerusalem. Israel represents a state constantly at waj.
Israel represents imperialist barbarism for people in the Middle East. Israel's financial dependence on the United States makes this only more obvious. Today, the taskoffightinglmperialist intervention in the Hiird World is more urgent than ever. For those on the lefi; who say that anti-zionists and pro-Zionists can have a common front in fighting racism and fascism, completely misjudge how Israel is a product of the failure of the fight against racism and fascism. Today, the actions oflsrael against arabs in refugee camps indicates the reactionary consequences of a US-backed state of Israel. Today, the fight against racism and anti-semltlsm can only be fought with anti-imperialist politics not through forming alliances with Imperialism.
Because of the necessity of fighting racism by taking on British
Imperialism, the RCP do not support the populist cross-class politics of the Anti-Nazi League that fuels British "WWII - Blitz - spirit" nationalism. In the 1930s, the left in Europe failed recognise the importance of the fight against nationalism. Today, we face the legacy of that defeat.
There is also a more dangerous trend. The politics of today are the politics of retreat, whether it is a retreat from fighting anti-semitism through looking at the state of Israel, or the retreat from fighting anti-semitism by supporting Judge Clarence Thomas. Anyone -who opposes these politics is labelled the oppressor. For example if you are antl-zlonist. you are labelled as antl Semitic. If you are anti Clarence Thomas you are labelled as racist. Judge Thomas. Just like the state oflsrael, has nothing to do with fighting racism. Looking to a judge, an upholder of the present legal system, to challenge racism is an insult Ch^lenging racism today cannot be reduced to the question of a black judge or lawyer. Challenging racism today cannot start by accommodating the status quo.
People now tell me that part of their jewish Identity is to identify with the Jewish State. Therefore, if communists oppose the Jewish State they are trying to deny Jewish identity and labelled anti-semitic. The politics of the Revolu tionaiy Communist Party are not based on celebrating defeat we have not given up on the challenge of politically defeating anti-semitism and we will not give up. despite name caSing. in fighting for self determination for the Palestinian people and in fighting imperialist intervention in the middle east through the state of Israel.
Yours
Revolutionary Communist Students in the LSE
Dear Beaver,
During last weeks U.G.M motion to censure Ian Prince, thee Press and Publicity Officer, Toby Johnson, the Senior Treasurer openly admitted that other members of the executive were doing a no better job than Ian and should all be censured These people were elected to do a job. If they are apathetic it is no wonder the student body is! Surely this can't be right. Does this mean that we should be looking for some new blood on the Executive this year, or at least make sure those that are on it do there work.
Watch out.watch out there is a censor about!
A. Leek.
Birds Eye Country Club
Houghton Street
W.C.2
nJk (Beaver, 24 th. JeBruary, 1992
m
OP 19^1 (Ms 7
Who want's to be a millionaire...
Navin Reddy tries to borrow a fiver off the Passfield Posse who recently won the pools
This week the news was out. a pool syndicate had won £2 000 000 pounds, lucky buggers. However I did not interest myself in the details, where are they from, who are they etc.. for I already knew about a win much closer to home, though a little less substantial, and certainly likely to upset me or make me just a little jealous because 1 could so easily have been a part of it all. Yes this week in the Beaver we can exclusively reveal to you the names (and unluckily, the faces) behind the Passfield pool syndicate that won approximately £600 000.
The five IucIq^ winners Ravi "Schwarzenegger" Chandra. David "I'm not pissed, really I'm not" Howells. Nigel "witch-hunter" Boyce. Gavin "Dreamtripper" Gillham. and Sunny" ! "Mirza.were to say the least extremely happy when I interviewed them last week on their little bit of good fortune, although Initial reactions were howeverslightly mixed and somewhat different:
"Were not sure if £500,000 is going to buy us a nice place in London"
they ranged from the suspicious:"it's got to be a wind up lads we've never won anjkhing before" (Dave) to an astonished "fucking hell" from Sunny. Dave's theories of a "wind-up" were quickly crushed when the lads finally got round to checking last Saturday's paper to find that th^ had indeed won a lot ofvaluable paper items.
They kept it quiet however which is why this is most probably the first information on their win that you will have heard. This was due to a totally uncharacteristic attack of modesty on their part and not (as you will find out soon) because they didn't want anyone at all to know about it - they wouldn't be telling us now otherwise would thej^
The guys have various plans none of which they are totally certain about, not all of which are
the loot with an eye to the future, have you any wild ambition that can now be fulfilled, will this good fortune mean that you will be able to do something that you've never done before, but. well, always wanted to do?
"Hm. no not really."
Right. Cheers Dave.
Gav. me old china, what are you planning then? Are you going to follow Dave's example and in your own
"...Copious quantities of sex, drugs and rock and
roll...

The Passfield lot collect their winnings (lucky b"*"*s) Photo: Steve East
necessarily serious either, let's face it theyVe only won about £120 000 each and there's only so much that you can do with that small an amount of cash isn*t there? So I took them aside, one by one to see what their plans were. Ravi has as you can see from the photo has put down a deposit on a small, unobtrusive, town car - a brand new Lotus which will mean visitors to Passfield will now have the chance to eye up two different models from the Lotus range when they come over. But Rav what are you going to do with the change mate? "I dunno Nav put it away in a high interest account, maybe buy a couple of shares, bonds that sort of thing . once I've found someone 1 can trust to handle the money properly that is. then again we're all thinking of buying somewhere to live, though we don't know - we're^ot sure if five hundred gi;and's really going to buy us that nice a place in central London, though I'm told that it's a buyers' market or something but anyway I won't have to worry about paying hall fees or rent for a while now.
Dave had some simpler ideas on what he was going to do with his share of the winnlngs:"well I think first things first.you know get your priorities right and all that I'm going to take all the lads out for a cuny and
we are all going to get horrendously pissed, I mean really pissed you know I want to make sure we're all vomiting, or have vomited by the time we get back to Passfield."
Er yes Dave and then what are you going to do?
*Well I don't know if I'm still awake then 111 probably have a game of pool or something."
Er no Dave that's not quite what 1 meant: what 1 meant was have you got any plans for your share of
inimitable style go on a frenzied night of debauchery and excess, replete with copious quantities of sex, drugs, and rock and roll?
"Well. Nav I don't know about the rock'n'roll bit but yes. probably."
And then what?
"Well I don't know to be quite honest. You've got to be careful about these things- I Imagine it would be quite easy to squander most of the money on hedonistic (Gav's a philosophy student by the way) excesses, but it pays to be careful. I'm thinking quite seriously about Rav's idea about buying somewhere to live, but I'd
really like to pay another prolonged visit to Canada."
Why?
"Because I liked it so much the last time you fool."
Sony Gav. I forgot mate.
Well what about the last two of our luclty friends then?
Nigel?
"I'm not sure at this precise moment in time actually. I wouldn't mind a house of my own. in the Seychelles. with a swimming pool, a really large swimming pool and a maid, yes a maid, actually a couple of maids would be nice, yeah I coyld really go for that...hmm........."
Nige you're dreaming and that's Gav's job. calm down and reconsider "cos all of that is going to cost you slightly more than the sum you've gone and won.
"Oh sorry Nav, right well I think I'll buy a car. one that's bigger than Rav's of course, and...."
Yes Nige?
"...and a..."
Nige?
"...and a computer."
A computer?^ Are you having me on?
"No."
Right. Sunny? Sunny? Where is he then? Oi. SUNNY?
"He's on the floor Nav."
What?
"Well because you were going to ask him about the money last he decided to have a couple of drinks while we were waiting and we sort of encouraged him a bit."
How many has he had
exactly then Dave?
"Oh not too many, j ust a few."
How many?
"Fifteen"
"The interview fell apart as the lads followed Sunny's example
,99
It was at this point that the interview fell apart as the lads then proceeded to followSunnys' example and well had shall we say a few more drinks than was perhaps really good for
them. Lets put it this way Ravs' surname could quite appropriately have been changed that evening from Chandra to Chunder. (The other names aren't as easy to piss about with as his which is unfortunate because he didn't actually do most of the spewing.
Oh well. Can't complain I suppose. Admittedly I missed the chance to join their merry little group at the beginning of this term but I'm not going to have to worry about being short of a few bob to buy a beer with, not till theendofterm
aryway.
"Here Mum, fancy a new car for Christmas....."
Photo: Steve East

TTte 'Beaver, 24tfi JeSruary, 1992
A Maiden's Revenge
Pleasure and pain at the Duke of York's
Ariel Dorfman's "Death and the Maiden" is the stoiy of a woman's agonised past, her desire to bring that past to light and her bid for justice in the face of a society which offers only compromise.
The setting is at a beach-house in an unnamed country,where we find the woman in question. Paulina Salas (Juliet Stevenson) reliving the traumatic experience of the torture she underwent at the hands of members of the secret service. We hear her husband, Gerardo E^cardo {Bill Paterson). inviting the man who he hitched a ride from, over for the weekend and telling him about how his wife makes a lovely marga-rita that will make his hair stand on end. The stranger comes in the form of Roberto Miranda (Michael
Bjnme) and one must only guess that had he known what Paulina had in store for him he might never have accepted the invitation, let alone spent the night there.
Paulina is convinced by Roberto's voice and smell of his skin, that he was an accomplice to her torture and rape, although he was the most civillised of the lot: he played her Schubert, talked to her about science and even quoted Nietzche to her. Roberto comes across as a chap who has everything to lose and nothing to gain: Paulina knocks him unconscious, ties him up (rather slowly), shoves her panties into his mouth as a gag (no pun intended) and patiently waits for him to get up so she can play him some Schubert, preferably "Death and the
Maiden'. TTiis might be less than he deserves, depending on one's point of view, if he really was an accomplice to the alleged misdeed. The problem is as the drama unfolds, you just can't tell if Roberto is telling the truth or not and whether Pauline has made a mistake or is simply raving mad.
In Gerardo, we find a man torn between two worlds. He has just been appointed by the President to oversee a commission, which is supposed to investigate the crimes of a previous dictatorship and yet has no powers to name the perpetrators or judge them. A lawyer by profession, he finds his wife's idea of a 'fair' trial revolting, to say the least. To the audience it would appear he had a number of opportunities to
overpower his wife and end this crisis, yet he fails to do so.
The curious feature of this play is although it has a Latin American feel to it. it could be representative of any country that has been ruled by dictators and is in the process of transition to a democracy . The moral dilemma is on the one hand, you have the persecuted clamouring for revenge against the persecutors. On the other hand if they have their way, it is likely that a vicious cycle will occur, where others will seek revenge against them at some time in the future.
Benjamin Accam
Death and the Maiden is currently running at the Duke ojYork's Theatre.
Michael Byme as Roberto
Photo: Mark Douet
Macbeth Rocks On
'From a Jack to a King' at the Boulevard Theatre
Well, "From a Jack to a King" has got to be the strangest stage show I have ever seen (led a sheltered life, see). How can I best describe it ? Let's say it is a mix of Macbeth. The Rocky Horror Show and a good cover band's concert, all done wearing studded leather costumes straight out of Spinal Tap's costume closet.
It is a very lively and well-produced show, done with the aid of good singers and musicians (everyone in the cast plays at least two or
three instruments), not forgetting the lighting. This seems pretty good so far. but there are some flaws which become evident as the show progresses.
This show is supposed to be irreverently and loosely based on Macbeth. In reality it is an updated version that has been given a contemporary pop setting. Certain lines have been changed: "Is this a spanner I see before me. it's handle towards my hand?". To those who like me have studied Macbeth, this may
hurt!! However it's all in good 'fun' and only a minor point. Throughout the play . quotes are 'nicked' from other plays: "To play or not to play, that is the question", "Oh Eric.oh Eric, wherefore art thou Eric?". We find the play sprinkled with characters supposedly representative of some from the original Shakespearean classic: the 'dodgy' manager of the band in the drama represents The Three Witches (he 'predicts' the future and cajoles "Thane Cawdor' into mur-
dering The King'). Also floating around are characters who appear to be impressions of Riff-Raff / Magenta of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Hmm. beginning to get the picture? Very strange Indeed. This leads me to my major gripe: whom will "From a Jack to a King" appeal to? It is too rocky for those going just for the songs and it isn't going to appeal to Shakespeare buflfs. Those who like large shows with brilliantly choreographed dancing will
Smooth Operator
Brad Pitt receives a pair of shoes in 'Johnny Suede'
The film is about Johnny Suede as the title implies, a naive musician whose life revolves around the very dead 50's heart-throb Ricky Nelson. Johnny's music brings back to life the age of the big refrigerator and the SilverThunderbird. His life however is irretrievably entrenched in the 90's. His home is East Side New York, a place steaming with destitution. drugs and ramshackle apartment blocks. The backdrop is chaotic, seedy and full of emptiness, llie tenseatmosphere pulls and pushes at the characters' psyches and the end result is a host of 'dodgy' individuals.
Amidst all this mayhem. Johnny Suede stands out like a sore thumb. His is a confused existence. Living in a dead past when even (he present has nothing to offer him. He is a man caught between two time zones. His aspiration to
become a star sends his destiny hurtling towards the relationships that will make him understand just who Johnny Suede really is. The engine of his epiphany roars into life when a pair of Black Suede shoes iall like manna from heaven at his unworthy feet. His obsession with the shoes is not an extension of a fetish for feet but rather a manifestation of the symbohc feel of Suede. It's soft, smooth, dark and doesn't crack like leather. Darlette is the first to succumb to the fatal attraction of Black Suede. The movie is ofl"beat. the humour very sly and it unfurls like an ornate Persian rug. Bradd Pitt who plays Johnny is already being hailed as the James Dean of the 90's. He has the same mannerisms and self-destructive arrogance. He created quite a storm in his cameo appearance in Thelma and Louise". The
^Cance
Film
Johnny Suoclc revk'Wfd t\irly but lo lu' released in June
Theatre
Death and the
Maiden at the Duke of York's
From a Jack to
a Kin^ aL llie boulevard
find nothing here for them. Presumably it is aimed at those who loved The RocIq^ Horror Show, however it is just not in the same league as that classic: it is nowhere as funny or as brilliantly portrayed. So you see. it falls between two stools: too roclqr (to be precise 90% of the time) for most and too soft for 'rockers'.
Overall it is a very cleverly written show but one with very limited appeal. Only go and see it if you are sure you will like it. Some-
thing to bear in mind is that the performance we saw (which admittedly was on a Tuesday) had only a third of the seats occupied in this rather small venue.
This meant the atmosphere wasn't as good as it could have been and was in actual fact only good for a selected audience.
Geoff Robertson and
EUie Clift.
"From a Jack to a King" is currently rocking at the Boulevard Theatre, Walkers Court, W1 (next to Raymond Revue Bar)
Brad Pitt as Johnny Suede
soundtrack could easily have been a Chris Isaak effort and the acoustic sounds lend a wistful aura to the whole film. The character of Johnny is a reflection of so many of us. Wild, wistful, wanton, worried, wounded and weird changes into something else when he meets Yvonne, the girl who brings him down to earth and teaches him that he can't spend his whole hfe walking around with his hands in his Y-fronts. Under her expert guidance in and out of bed, he begins io re-assess his overly romantic and unrealistic view of life. The gains from his relationships is a new-found realisation that youthful aspirations weren't really that important after all.
Sahr Emarco Johnny
Johnny Suede uJiU be smooth-talking his way into selected cinemas around the country on 12th June
The 'Beaver, 24tfi.JeBruaiy, 1992
MUSIC 9
wmmmmmm
Victims Of Circumstance
Nat Lofthouse celebrates twenty five years of Barclay James Harvest
Here's a joke........what
do you get If you cross the Moody Blues with Genesis? Don't you know, well don't feel left out, because most people in England wouldn't now the answer either, but some of you Europeans might. I shouldn't really make this comparison, as Barclay James Harvest can out moody the blues and they certainly have more genius than genesis.
This band have been together 25 years and have maintained relative anonymity and it is not surprising. Their greatest hits album has been out for 10 days, but no one seems to stock it. Good old Potydor yet another masterful promotional campaign . It is no wonder that even after 25 years they are not a household name, they have never had a single in the Top 40. and have only ever scraped the Top 20 of the Album chart once . Yet for all this lack of promotion in England in Europe they were huge. I say were because I don't about now.
But in the late 70's early 80's they were hot stuff, especially in Germany.
This British band, th^ hail from the Oldham area, were so successful in Germany, that in 1980. they played a free concert to nearly 200.000 people in the shadow of the Berlin Reichstag near the now defunct wall. As Max Boyce said.' 'I know cause I was there !' they also played a gig in East Berlin to in 1986 and again I was there. This band did more to promote glasnost and peace, harmony and unity than all those others that decided to come when the wall finally came down. That was then, and overthe next fewyears they have brought out several great albums. But now it looks as if they have reached the end of the line.
As ever with a Greatest Hits album, it is difficult to satisfy the real fans. as they have all the records anyway. So as I tried my best to obtain a review copy
from Polydor but no luck and as I said 1 couldn't find one to buy. so I will review some of my favourite tracks and if they are on their album then O.K.if not tough, by their back catalogue, the easiest way to do this is to venture into the live arena. Last Sunday at the Town and Country Club, two friends and myself went along to witness something we hadn't seen for nearly two years. But it was something we'd seen before and it was also people we once talked to	before	in
Wurzburg.Germany. but that's another of my celebrated stories.
Shall I mention the
support band......no ! To
Hell with Burgundy'
The Barclays came on to a cacophony of synths. It was the same line up on that day in Berlin. It was also a shock to see them crammed onto the stage. TTiis band needs room to breath and th^ did not have it here. last time they
The Band That Likes To Say Moo!
The Inspiral Carpets go mad at the National Kilbum
The Inspiral Carpets, being a Manchester band, seem to have been written off by many people in favour of newer bands like Carter USM. Nirvana etc. Seeing the Inspirals at the Kilburn National last Tuesday it is clear that, despite the great loss to society of scallies and their hood^ tops, they are far from dead. Having taken a short trip out to Kilburn I was treated to a thoroughly wild gig with two surprisingly good support bands. First up were Pele. a folk-rock band with a single presently on release called Megalomania which is currently getting considerable air-play and rightly so. They are definitely a band worth watching out for. Airhead also put together a respectable set and managed to get the
audience warmed up.
By the time the Inspiral Carpets got on stage the dance floor was heavily overcrowded and as they launched into present single 'Dragging Me Down' the gig realty got going. Hie band played the t^t ofboth "The Beast Inside' and 'Life' albums with old favourites such as "She Comes In The Fall'. This Howit Feels'and of course 'Joe' getting the bestreceptions. Despiteihe band throwing in a fewf new songs the audience remained	lively
throughout. Songs from 'The Beast Inside', the slicker of the two albums, such as 'Caravan'. 'Mermaid' and 'Sleep Well Tonight' were performed extremely well with the band excelling themselves with 'Bom Yesterday'. By the time the evening was drawing to its end I was getting knocked about a
hell of a lot, if you want to go to a wild gig without any moshing the Inspirals are definitely for you, and thankfully neither 'Further Away' nor'Plane Crash' were played, both songs being fifteen minutes long.
Despite a rather weak encore, in which the audience were more interested in punching about a couple of large balloons pull^ down from the set by the band. I came away from the gig knackered, deafened by a sound system that would have done credit to Wembley Arena, and thoroughly satisfied.
Giles Monnlckendam
played London it was at Hammy Odeon . but 1 suppose they feel they can't fill it these days which is a shame.
TTie cacophony faded into a tinkling of the ivories and the at haunting tune 'Mockingbiixl' was trundled out John Lees must have thought he had analbatross around his neck as this one was a perennial old fave. As it built up to its crescendo and faded into oblivion the crowd was ecstatic. Well they cheered and clapped in a restrained way that has become commonplace at their concerts. If there had been chairs most people would have remained seated.
Tunes came and went. 'Hold On*. 'Medicine Man' 'Jonathan' and Rock and Roll star. Here's a Jolly fact. Whilst recording the latter track they played and sang on a couple of tracks of David Souls' solo. Not a lot of people no that and you can see why. A classic song th^ had not done for a while was plundered from their vast back catalogue. 'Suicide, isaveiyhard song to do' Les Holroyd quips, however this version is slighttydisappointingas the finale of the sound effect of falling form the roof to the pavement is conspicuous by its absence. So we move on to Berlin.
'Like a ship in the night we passed along the highways of my mi nd as we sailed across the highway to Berlin'. Yeah way out lyrics, I wonder what they were on. But the sentiment when this was written in 1978, summed up their hope to play to a united country. Like myself. Berlins charm has diminished now since the unification but the song still has poignant memories to me as I drove through Check
point Alpha, Bravo and Charlie in 1980, with my parents and 1984 on my motorcycle.
The songs came and went 'Child of the Universe' written in 1974 about refugees and children in Vietnam. South Africa and Northern Ireland a song as relevant today as ever before. 'Cra;^^ City' sums up life in the urban jungle."Play to the World' sums up what they would like to do. whilst 'Life is for Living' lends a philosophical view on to life, it is also probably one of their best tunes. Their age has started to play havoc with their vocal range and their memory. During 'Cheap the Bullet'. John can no longer reach the high note leaving the song to become a dirge in the chorus. Listen to it on their last album "Welcome to the Show' and he also won't forget the words, which is something I saw him do at Wembley in 1984, but on another song.
What is surprising is not what songs are play^. but what are left out. My favourite album of theirs is 1982's 'Ring of Changes' and they played nothing off it. Voce fact number 3,567. 'Ring of Changes" was the first album to be released simultaneously on L.P.. cassette and C.D. and it was also the first digitally recorded, mixed and mastered C.D. D.D.D. to all you C.D. buffs who think Dire Straits have the sole copyright on C.D. and digital technology.
They finish their set with the tongue in cheek 'Poor Mans Moody Blues'which was what someone in the music press once called them and this song does bare a slight resemblance to 'Nights in White Satin" except this is better. After
an amazingly long set. I've missed out quite a lot of the songs, they returned to play a song about the environment written by two Dutch people, no its not Michiel and his mum. called 'Stand Up!. Then into 'Shadows in the sky', which leaves us singing along at the end as the music fades out leavingjust the drums and of course 'Hymn' to come.
Hymn is not the religious song everyone makes ou t it is. You can guarantee, on the Christmas Day breakfast show on Radio 1, Simon Mayo will play it because of its reference to the late J.C. But in reality its an anti- drug song or in reality a don't over dose song as unlike J.C. you are not going to be resurrected. This song is dedicated to friends and heroes of the band who never made it through. Hendrix, Kossofi". Joplin, Moon and Lennon. I^ennon comes up early in a song called 'John Lennons Guitar' which like 'Smoke on the water' is about what happened at a recording session in 1970. So lets here you say yeah! Laute !
B.J.H. have been around for 25 years. They have released 20 Albums, forgetting the compilations, and they are now all available on C.D. If you fancy a change from the beep, beep, beep of techno, tryabit of retro. Personally I think they've got better with age. but don't take my wordforitlambiased. The Greatest Hits album should be on sale now. and they are still on tour, so go along. Remember I didn't think I would like them until I first heard them. All music is art and all art is subjective. Keep an open mind, vive le difference!
Crossword Answers
So how many of you out there want to know the answers to the crossword that we set a few weeks ago? Can anyone remeber that far back? Does anyone care?
Across 1. Rubbish 8. Dangerous 10. Then 15. Tenors
16 & 1 Id. Rage Hard
17.	Food
18.	Hit
19.	Age (Of Chance)
20 & 33a. Always On My Mind 23. WEA 27. Grid
28.	Hup
29.	(E^syTo) Smile
30.	(I'm You) Fan
31.	Fame 34. Dead.
Phew, that was exciting wasn't it refl Now for the next lot of answers:
Down
1.	Ride
2.	Bang
3.1 Never Give Up 4. Hook
6.	(Theatre Of) Hate
7.	Prodigy 12. Northside
13	& 5d. George Best
14	& 5a. I Could Be Happy
21.	Boing
22.	Nirvana
24.	Shaft
25.	Shame (on) You
26.	REM
29. Say
32. AD
Oh boy. can hardly contain my relief. I have set you free at last from the pain and suffering that you went through bcauseof my crossword, but don't fret, there might be one next week. Who knows? Who cares? Navin is a great editor, by the way. Not only is he a really go<xl E)J but he's also a lazy bastard
Love from Nat & Bobby.
10 Music
Ifit 'Beaver, 24tfi ^cSruary, 1992
Alister Divall's Keynotes
Actually, it's just Neil Andrews reviewing some more singles
Single Of The Week Number One
Billy Bragg: Accident Waiting To Happen (Got Discs]
Good old Billy. You can always rely on him to come up with the goods when it really matters. Gone are the collaborations with REM and just about to arrive is another Top Forty placing. A breezy little tune with the traditional lyrics that are funny but politically aware ("You're a dedicated swallower of Fascism"). this is a re-recorded version of the album track of the same name. He first played this track live at the Feile festival in Ireland last year when me and him were the only Londoners in the whole stadium ("How 'bout a lift home then. Billy?") but that's neither here nor there.it's still a good record.
Stmscreem: Pressure (Sony)
Thanks to some wonderful promotion I received seven different mixes of this song. Each mix had its own title and soon your illustrious reviewer became bogged down when trying to choose which mix was the best. In the end I decided noi to bother and Just write about the two versions which are on the seven inch format. The edit mix. which can be found on the B-side, is probably the strongest of the two but that doesn't mean that the version you're likely to hear on the radio is crap. Its actually quite good but whether it'll make the Top Forty or not is another matter because there's nothing really distinctive about it to make it stand out amongst the rest of the pack.
The Fall: Free Range
According to Justin this is it: "Tlie Fall have finally given in to the rise of the dance beat". But this is the Fall, and this four track EP sounds like the Happy Mondays after a really bad trip, ie all bitter and twisted. I'd love to tell you some more about this record but I can't understand what Justin's written. Oh well, never mind. 1 think its time for my medication anyway.....
Sepultura: Arise (Road Racer Records)
1 loved this. A speed metal phenomenon from the heart of Brazil, well. Belo Horizonte anyway. Full of life and noise, this
Sunscreem: They're a happy bunch, really
Photo: Joey Toller
musical mayhem begins at around lOOmph and never loses speed. Actually, during my studies for my geography A-level I often used Belo Horizonte as a case-study. interesting that.
The Stairs: Woman Gone And Say Goodbye (Got Discs)
Lead singer E^gar Sum-mertyme has a serious problem. He can't decide whether he's Jimi Hendrix. Mick Jagger, Ray Davies or Lee Mavers from the La's. The end result is a very bad karaoke session with one very sober drunk. The Stairs like to indulge in a lot of retro R&B. the kind of bullshit which used to be popular in Britain foraboul five minutes in the early sixties. To give their sound that certain authenticity theyVe even recorded this record in mono because they think it sounds better. In fact, the quality makes no difference because the songs are crap anyway. Their cover versions, of Bo Diddley's You Don't Love Me (You Don't Care)' and 'Russian Spy And I' by The Hunters, are quite abysmal and in the end you just want to smash the thing up.
Ian McCulloch: Lover, Lover, Lover (East West)
I can't work Ian McCulloch out. He's got a great voice but his musical ideas leave a lot to be desired nowadays. His debut album 'Candleland' highlighted this problem quite clearly. Stripped down to the very bare, McCulloch was left with some neat lyrics and a bag of vocal tricks but very little else. The trouble is that his voice will always invoke memories of Will Sergeant's guitar solo's. Les Pattison's lively little bass-lines and Pete De Fraitas' ever-ur-gent drumming. Compare that formula with his new material, as he tries to move away from the Bunnjonen's shadow, and the difference in quality is well marked. His croon through this old
I-eonard Cohen song is decent enough but it lacks real power and energy. His comeback, one thinks, isn't going to be as easy as that of the prodigal son. Another Morrissey anyone?
Heavenly: She Says/ Escort Crash On Marston Street (K)
Heavenly were described as a bunch of indie saddeos in NMElast week which just goes to show that the NME know sweet FA about music. Heavenly were formed from the ashes of that archetypal C-86 group Talulah Gosh, who used to attract every kind of weirdo from land's End to John O'Groats who wore an anorak. Never mind because Heavenly are a really good band. You may recognise the voice of lead singer Amelia Fletcher from the Wedding Present's earlier recordings. Amelia, in my opinion anyway, is the only female in the world of popular music who can hold a torch to Dannii Minogue. Buy this record because it really is quite lovely....
Single Of The Week Number Two
Inspiral Carpets: Dragging Me Down (Mute)
Ifanybody needed a hit record to save them from the bargain bin for all eternity it's this lot. Their last album. The Beast Inside', was a dreary affair with little spark or enthusiasm and it looked like their fifteen minutes of fame was over but now their back! Back!! BACK!!! With this recond the Inspirals are likely to regain their Top Twenty status and appear on TOn^ once more. A jolly little affair, it arrives and then departs without challenging the mind. A pop song for the pop market and they've still got crap hairstyles. Hurrah!
Is Seal Sexy or What?
Seal plays the Hammersmith Odeon on Valentine's Day
On Valentine's day we went to Hammersmith Odeon to see Seal perform {live on stage - cooorr!) in the AIDS Crisis Trust concert .
For some it was a first experience of Rock'n'Roll in its rawest form . for others it wasn't, and it showed! We just about missed all of the first supporting act but they looked like they were crap anyway. As we came in the lead singer was just dramatically collapsing on stage in what I'm sure was supposed to be a very winsome manner.
Natural Life took over after a brief interlude and showed us what real men like to do on stage. I thought they were excellent even though the lead singer's trousers and pigtail were more than a little disconcerting. They thr2ished out indie-rock and played with great enthusiasm except some dodgy guitar-istontheleftofthestage. If someone had woken him up he might have been (slightly) more impressive. Buy their single epony-mously titled Natural Life, it's fab.
They weren't as appreciated as the next guru to
find centre stage even though they have real hair! Enter Elton to introduce his new wig, although apparently it's a "hair weave".
Elton shared with us his interest inA.I.D.Sresearch (remember Freddy?), then thank God, he buggered off!
The main man then made his appearance, to the howling wails of the many lustful females. Is Seal sexy? Well I didn't think so. I think he's rather too well endowed in the bottom area to be wearing such figure enhancing leather trousers. UnfortunatlySeal thinks he is hot sex, so did some rather interestingly clad young groupies (hot leather trousers, short tight black lycra dresses with fishnets and stilettos, pass me that whip baby!) Sadly for them and many other slavering young females Seal happens to have a rather attractive girlfriend who he presented with a bunch of red roses during the concert.
Seal covered all of the tracks from his album and does have a truly fantastic voice but he's ugly and he didn't do any new songs at all. He did some interesting
variations of 'Killer' and 'Crazy' and a wonderful rendition of 'Future Love Paradise", my favourite song and mentally dedicated to everyone I was on holiday with by yours truly. One of the problems with the concert was there were no songs slow enough or moving enough to wave lighters to (blueeerghhh-N^ and the faster songs were played too slowly live to dance to. Another problem that I had is that Seal's lead guitarist suffers from 'I am Jimi Hendrix' dellu-sions. I hate electric guitar solos. Ben is an old heavy metal fan and therefore did not even notice them.
Basically, if seal sorted out a decent dance troupe, got some new songs, sacked his guitarist I would recommend that you go and see him. It was Ben's first concert and he enjoyed it. although he did say that he thought live music would be more gritty. Nice slick performance although more could have been made or said on the AIDS theme.
Faz Zahir
and Ben Tuttle
Funky Rhythms
Maceo Parker chills out at the Jazz Cafe
Ugh! Shucks. Good God. Maceo-hit me! Get down. It's too funky in here. ..gimme some air. Ow!
The above phrases could only have been spoken by one man (or at least one who could be declared medically sane)-the 'Godfather of Soul', *Mr. Dynamite'. 'Soul Brother Number One', the 'Minister of the New New Super Heavy Funk', or any other name he modestly cares to give himself - Mr. James Brown.
But among the phrases there is also the name of a man who himself has played an important role in the development of funk -Maceo Parker, tenor saxophonist in the James Brown band, on and off. ever since 'I Got You' in 1964. Along with Fred Wesley (trombone) and Alfred 'Pee Wee' Ellis (tenor sax), the three helped to form the 'JBs' and were undoubtedly one of the most famous horn sections in modem musical histoiy.
Last week, the JBs. or the "Roots Revisited Band' as they now like to call themselves, played the Jazz Cafe in Camden Town. And they weren't half bad. either. Despite Maceo's recent jazz renaissance with albums such as 'Mo' Roots' and "Roots Revisited', his live concerts involve, as he put it - "2% Jazz and 98% Funk". And when Maceo says Funk, he means Funk - with a capital "F (and no 'c' in the middle).
Therefore, except for a couple of slower jazz tracks and solo numbers. Maceo stuck to the older funky stuff, such as "Cold Sweat' and "Houseparty", with a medley of all the old James Brown hits, the latter of which confirmed our worst fears - that all James Brown songs really do sound the same: same key, same time signature, same everything (but who's complaining? -the song they all sound like is pretty damn hot).
TTiere was a good version of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get
It On', and credit should be given to the keyboard player, who had a rather unique left-hand style throughout - apparently, this was due to lackoffunds to pay for a proper bass player! TTie only low-point came when the band played a tune that they played at the Jazz Cafe last year -this time round, it seemed slightly inappropriate to sing "Let Him Out', referring to James Brown, since Mr. Brown's been out ofjail for almost a year.
Of course, however good this concert was. Maceo is still capable of better, and to do this he undoubtedly needs the help of James Brown. At Brown's European concert tour last summer, neither Maceo. Wesley or Ellis played in his band. One can't help but feel that should the JBs and their old master ever get back together again, then things really will be cookin'.
Jon Fenton-Fischer
Bored? Never nund. ! received two Valentine's cards and tliaVs the import«iat#^ng; If you want to drop me a line then the address Js: Neil, c/o The Beaver. Room £197. East Building. Giles, yotir Inspiral Carpets' review will go in next weekv Sonyv but we didn't have any rooitn for oncef Bye for nowt
TfU 'Beaver, 24t(t JeBruary, 1992
mmmm
11

The Spirit of '76
'Three Minute Heroes', the new Punk/ New Wave collection from Virgin
Today the single is in terminal decline, but in 1977. Top of the Pops" and the Sunday Top Forty' were essential listening. The three minute single was king and at only 45p. who could blame us for not buying them. Now for all those who never bought this superb heritage Virgin have released Three Minute Heroes'. Yet another collection of punk/new wave classics, many of today's record buying public wiU listen to this and wonder what all the fuss was about.
'Babylons Burning' by the Ruts opens up Side One with the wail of a Police siren, while 'Pretty Vacant' by the Sex Pistol has one of the most easily recognisable Introes with Steve Jones rifling away like a metal mutha. It is no wonder that after "Anarchy In The U.K.', covered by Megadeth and Motley Criie. this has become the next popular cover by metal bands of a Pistols track.
The Passenger' was not a single release until Siousxie and the Banshees covered It. so I think this was just put on here because Virgin got permission to use it. A great track of the album "Lust For Life', which is worth listening to in its own right.
"What Do I Get' is a passable tune by the Buzzcocks but nowhere near as good as 'Promises' or'EX^er Fallen In Love' which stand the test of time. "What Do I Get' accentuates teenage angst to a degree not seen until 'Jilted John', sadly not on this collection.
The Jam. however, were classed as Punk, as they started in 1977. but by covering old Kinks songs it was obvious that a Mod
revival was around the comer. "Down In The Tube Station At Midnight" Is a classic track about middle class London life. Listen to the l)Tlcs and you realise that for all his present day moralising there was no better tunesmith and Ijfil-cist of his day than Paul Weller.
Elvis Costello and the Attractions, strange! My choice from his early col-lectionwould have been between 'Pump it Up' or 'Radio Radio' (Or 'Oliver's Army'-NA) which feature more biting lyrics and Steve Nieve's distinctive Hammond Organ sound. Watching The Detectives' is a passable tune, but the lyrics are bland. Super stardom beckoned and Declan grew a beard.
'Is She Really Going Out With Him' by Joe Jackson was followed by 'Its Difler-ent For Girls'. I think he had some serious problems during his adolescence. These were both great tunes and the biting fyrics made him an equ^ match for Elvis Costello. But Joe couldn't stand still musi-calty, going from new wave to jive to plain American A.O.R.
Nick Lowe, was in Brinzl^ Schwarz at the turn of the 70's. So why put him on here. Quite simply he was a record producer who was cheap and produced many of the classic records of Punk that came out on the Stiff record Label. 'I Love The Sound OfBreak-ing Glass' was his reward for perseverance, but his rock tendencies could not be suppressed and went on to form Rock Pile with Dave Edmunds, Billy Bremner and someone else !
*Sex & Drugs & Rock'n'Roir by Ian Duiy
was never a single but it was recognised as on of his better tunes. A classic track off a classic album. It's a shame that although 'Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick' was a number one. that the follow up album.'Do it Yourself never matched up to the vibrant nature of the first.
'Peaches' is a blatantly sexist song about topless female bathers by the men in black. Probably my least favourite song, the obvious choice would have to have been "No more Heroes' or even "Dutchess"
Side two opens with l\ink's first number one. 'RatlYap' by the Boomtown Rats with Bob "Give usyour f'kin' money" Geldoff on vocals. A great track all about post sixteen trauma of jobs, life, unemployment and the vicious circle. Sounds like an epic rock track rather than a punk cut. but that's probably because it was produced by Mutt Lange who ended doing several Def Leppard and AC/DC albums.
The start of ^oithesiz-ers, the moody McCluskle and Humphries gave the Pet Shop Boys all their ideas. 'Electricity' was not a hit single, but it showed O.M.D.'s talent for righting catchy hit singles.
'Mon^' is the old standard rocker, covered by all and sundry. There is nothing special about this version except the monotone deliveiy of the 6'6" female singer and the nurdish falsetto harmonies.
'Deutscher Girls' by Adam and the Ants was a hit in 1983 and then only because after 4 years of trying war paint and piracy Stuart Goddard finally made it big for a couple of years. Deutscher Girls is
Madness were the definitive singles band of the 'Eighties. Of their twenty three singles onty two failed to make the Top Twenty and they became the most consistent British group since the Beatles. Now. six years after their sad demise. Virgin have released the definitive singles album, 'Divine Madness'.
Twenty two of their twenty three singles are on this album, from their debut release. 'The Prince', to their swan song from '86. '(Waiting For The) Ghost Train'. The only single that's not here is their cover of Scritti Polittl's 'Sweetest Girl" but that wasn't exactly the greatest Madness record ever released, only reaching number 35.
Anyone who is remotely familiar with Madness will recognise quite a few of
these tracks and. without doubt, one of these tracks will spark off a golden memory from your youth. All the classic"s are here including the disco floor fillers 'One Step B^ond' and 'Baggy Trousers', the song every self-respecting schoolboy knew the words to. But Madness were not just a fun group who cultivated the promo video Into an art form, there was a serious side to them as well.
Songs like "Michael Caine'. 'Uncle Sam' and '(Waiting For The) Ghost Train' all had political messages behind them with which Madness could make a serious statement. The sad fact is that nobody ever realised. They were probably the most politically aware group of their generation but the only things people remember them for
are the wacky videos and silly songs. Who cares whether '(Waiting For The) Ghost Train" was about South Africa or whether 'Michael Caine' tried to highlight the supergrass system in operation in Northern Ireland, if they didn't talk about condoms and smashing plastic cups on teachers" heads then nobody was interested. That's why their chart placings tailed off at the end of their career. Nobody was interested anymore. The CD buying Dire Straits clones had taken over.
Another fact often overlooked was the fact that Madness could actually write a decent tune, ie Yesterday's Men', and actually won an Ivor Novello award once for 'Our House'. They also displayed an amazing ability to write
crap and should never have been included.
Now at last here is something I never heard on the radio in '77, probably because 'Dance The Night Away' failed to dent the Top 40. Yet the Motors' follow ups, 'Airport' and "Forget About You' both went top 10. It's ragged and raw sound prol^bly explains why it felled to be a success.
I always got Magazine confused with Television, as I liked the latter but not the former. Although they have chosen to record a Shelley/ Devoto song from the Buzzcocks collection, there is veiy little else to recomend this band otherwise.
"Making Plans for Nigel" was XTC's finest hour, a clas^ ditty which should have been a number one. Th^ came out with several monster tunes at the lime, such as 'Generals & Majors & Sgt. Rock'. Definatly worthwile bu5nng the Best ofC.D.
Wailing bagpipes guitars, kilts,scottish accents and Stuart Adamson it must be Big Country. No wrong its the Skids! A great guitar band this, shame you can't understand Jobson's lyrics. Great song, great band, nuff zed!
And finally, we sorted of started with the Pistols and so we'll end with Mr Rotten. Public Image LTD. bom out-of the Pistols acrimo-niuos split, came out with some thingas tuneful as the Pistols ever could hope to achieve, but without the edge that the Pistols had. This single showed that punk died with the Pistols and that nothing had changed. Shame re^lyl
Ron Voce
Divinity from Within
Madness relive some fond memories
Peek-a-boo. It's Mr Hewerdine himself
The Written Word
Boo Hews at the break up of The Bible
songs in various guises of music, be it ska. gospel or banging bits of metal and skeleton bones. But the promo video was were they really excelled as they through themselves out of aeroplanes, dived into swimming pools or simply let their sax player, Lee Thompson, fly about suspended from a crane. Queen may have invented the video promo but they didn't know how to exploit it did they?
If you have to buy one album this term make sure it's this one because every household should own a copy as proof that Britain didn't stop producing good music when the Beatles split up. Madness, madness. they call It gladness.....
Neil Andrews
The flrst gig I was forced to go to in lindon was The Bible at ULU. Not a fan of religious cults, or bands who think they are, I was reluctantly drawn into a crowd ofbelievers. That was almost four years ago and the band has since broken up. The Bible were the much acclaimed Cambridge based band who wrote songs to set sentiment free. Now their ex-lead singer. Boo Hewerdine. is out on his own and their ex-guitarist and ex-bassist have joined forces to form Liberty Horses (So what happened to their drummer then?-NA).
Although you can find, as I did. that the two bands will occasionally gig together, this is by no means a Bible reunion. Boo is currently using his warm approah to acoustic singular to support Everything But Hie Girl (who are anything but inspiring). River City People. Tori Amos smd Texas. The acoustic show requires "concentration" says Boo. There is much to be appreciated in his shows to promote the new solo album 'Ignorance'. Boo is a well seasoned solo performer cmd has developed more personal material since his departure from the standard religion ofThe Bible.
The crowd at Boo's gig on February 13 th at the Borderline had squeezed themselves into this venue with no headroom to speak of. Their first treat was the support act in the form of Liberty Horses. Their folk background has been rocked up to provide the audience with a powerful perfomance. The MacColl brothers on guitars and harmony work surprisingly well when they sing about their father or about their children. Rather bore-ish subjects you may think, but
not so. This is where real music comes from the heart, (ugh!! another blooby cliche (liiis is Fiona's opinion, not mine-N^); take a listen to music today - it"s in one ear and out the other (There"s obviously nothing between your ears then? Hahaha -NA). You only ever need to hum one song nowadays, because they all sound the same. Some songs that stood out during the set are "White Silver Draws Black Lines'(reading into that you'll find that beauty has a hidden tool -immense pain) and The Wind And The Rain" which tends to ba the finali of their set because it leaves the audience in boogie mode with the song"s hint of trendy back beat, but lyrics and more than the old manchunian formula make the piece credible.
What the crowd now needed was a calming drijg with more words than wit. The drums remained set up for the post mortum of The Bible, and Boo arrived with more confidence and more say than when he had the book of Christian manipulation behind him. His songs were like life long companions, each a one act play filled with morose and memories, especially of the kind that remind of what a fool you were first time 'round. Sounds soppy and is. But life is sentimental and Boo is good at reminding us how bad we feel by alluding to our stupidities.
Boo Hewerdine's new album. 'Ignorance', is released this month on Ensign. See him play ULU on 24th Febmary supporting River City People then dare to dispute his singular greatness.
Intrigued? Impressed? or just suffering from a lack of "Ignorance?
Fiona MacDonald

The 'Beaver, 24tfi JeSruary, 1992
The Women's Group and The Parent's Society
are having a
Jumble Sale
in aid of the LSE Nurseiy on Tuesday 25 Feb, 10am to 4pin
in the Quad.
Donations are still wanted, so please bring them to:
The Women's room (top floor of the cafe) or Fiona MacDonald's office (E206) as soon as possible.
PHOTO COMPETITION "Lens genius 1992"
All entries should be placed in the folder inside the darkroom, or given to
Photo Soc, Exec, members. Entries can be on any subject,
but no larger that A4 size.
Prizes include subscriptions to "Amatuer Photographer" magazine. Deadline: 13 March.
LSE ACCOMMODATION
1992/1993.
Application Forrms for LSE Halls, Flats and houses, along with University of London Intercollegiate Halls are currently available from the Central Accomadation Office (E296) and the Housing and Welfare Office (E297).
The closing dates for applications by continuing students (undergraduates and postgraduates) are as follows:
LSE residences (halls, flats and houses) 30 April 1992
Intercollegiate Halls 31 March 1992.
ACCOMMODATION AVAILABLE,
A shared flat at Carr-Saunders Hall. Private bath and kitchen. Available for full-time, male ISE student. Room available from March 21 to July 2.
Cost £500 (approz. 15 weeks at £33)
More Information:
call 071-580-6338 Room F3/5 (Kamel) or Room F6/1 (Heba)
CANADIAN UNIVERSITIES SOCIETY.
"THE SOCIAL EVENT
OF THE YEAR" 1992 Annual Ball at The Waldorf Hotel. Sat. Feb. 29th. 1992 Tickets:
Students	£30
Non-students £40 contact:
Brenda Hebb (071-627-4859) Susan Harmen (071 834-2033)
GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT
The doors from the Clare Market entrance to the Quad will be locked after 6.30 pm on weekdays to help ensure the security of the East Building during non-use hours.
Professor M. King
Extx'iitivc nim tor of the Bank
of Enj^laiid.
lYofcssor of h:(X)nomlcs. I-SF:.
"What Have Economists to Offer Government?^
ALL WELCOME!
Tuesday, Feb, 25, 1pm to 2pni, Old Theatre*
MALAYSIA-SINGAPORE SOCIETY:
MSS NITE 92 14th March , 7pm Old Theatre.
We need volunteers to help MC the show, and will be holding auditions on wed. 26th Feb,
after 1pm in A85.
LSE CHRISTIAN UNION
invites you to attend their meeting on
Thurs. 27th Feb. 6.30pm.
All welcome!
<>
JAPAN SOCIETY LECTURE;
"MANAGEMENT STYLES: JAPAN V BRITAIN"
JOJI SATO
(partner. Coopers & Lybrand)
Friday, Feb 28 A220, 6,30pm.
DRINK-WISE WEEK
24FEB TO 29 FEB
Get people to sponsor you for a week without the
"Joys of Alcohol."
Sponsorship forms are available from Fiona m E206, or in the Three Tuns, The Underground, or The Beaver*s Retreat.
All money raised will go to Rag Week Charities.
There will also be a week-long display
in the Quad. Leaflets regarding alcohol will be available there, and the SU Welfare Office will be open for counselling all week.
The. 'Beaver, 24 tk JeBruary, 1992
CLJISSITI'E'DS 13
INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S WEEK 2 MARCH - 8 MARCH.
The Women's Group has organised a week of events culminating in an All Women's Theatre Group
performing in the Old Theatre on Friday 6th. (All are Welcome).
There will be female performers in Hacker's Bar (top floor of The Cafe)
and in the Underground.
Also, discussion groups will be held about women's safety in Central London, and videos on women in Islamic countries will be shown.
SIKHS / HINDUS
Interested in setting up a sikh society? Interested in setting up a Hindu society? How about acting as an LSE contact for your respective religious communities?
If you are interested, please contact Rev. Liz Waller (K51).
You interest (or lack of interest) will determine if these societies get off the ground.
It only takes a couple of minutes to pop into K51 and find out more.
STAMPS FOR CHARITY.
Used stamps can help to raise money for charity. Please drop any you have into the Beaver Office (El97)
Writers and helpers are needed for the new magazine at LSE:
LSE REVIEW
Articles are welcomed on any topical issue (current affairs, international politics, philosophy, etc.)
For more details, come along to a meeting in Wed, 26 Feb. at 1pm in room S221 - All Welcome. Or leave a message for the LSE Review in the Govt. Dept. Common Room.
THE WEST EUROPEAN POLITICS SOCIETY
presents a panel discussion on:
EUROPE AS AN EMERGING
WORLD POWER: THE DEFENCE DIMENSION.
with
Calum MacDonald, MP
(Vice Chairman - The future of Europe Trust) Dr. Christopher Coker (International Department - LSE) Mr. Edward Mortimer
(Foreign Editor, The Financial Times)
The discussion will take place in A220 in the Old Building from 1.30 to 2.30 on Tuesday 25th Feb.
ACCOMMODATION
for Postgrads and mature students.
FLAT TO LET.
A self-contained, fully-furnished flat with 2 double bed rooms.
Large lounge and dining area.
Security entrance.
Zone 3 LT and BR £600 p.c.m., excl. bills.
Available now, ring 081-902-7686 (24hr ansafone)
"THE CRACK"
at the Marquee Cafe (20, Greek St., Soho)
26 Feb. 1992.
A one night stand of comedy every Wednesday at this new venue in the heart of Soho. Tonight's bill includes Skint Video and Mike Hayley. Hosted by Linda Trayers. Bar menu & drinks available. 8pm start (doors 7pm),
Admission £3 Cones. £2.
To fidvertisc in Oie ClassUieds section, please contact James in the Beaver Office (ext. 2870). Alternatively, write down the information, and drop it into the Biiaver Office (El97).
This service is free to all LSE students and
SocicUcs.
Please nolf that copy deadline is Wednesday noon for tiie following Monday's issue.
14 T'E^WRTS
'Beatfer, 24tfiJeBruary, 1992
Bosnia: 'Tribal Madness' or Western Playground?
Sinisa Vacic examines the conflict in Yugoslavia and the current crisis in Bosnia within the context of international relations today.
It is interesting that at a time when the Cold War structure of international relations has collapsed and the future lies open, West-em academics and politicians are desperatefy holding on to the past as an explanation and guide for the present. This is best typified by Western attitudes to what is happening in the Balkans and East-
em Europe in _
general. For most, even mentioning this area brings about nightmarish associations;
after all, they think both world wars were started there.
Today, the re-emergence of nationalism and conflict in the region has brought very similar fears and despair to the fore. One after the other. commentators and politicians predict bloodshed and disaster. It is no wonder that the 19th century racial stereotype of 'the East", epitomizing backwardness and barbarism. has acquired a new resonance again. Tlius the main subject of the Dec/ Jan issue of the French liberal "Globe" was subsumed under the title "Europe against the tribes", and opened with the following: "TTie spectre of tribalism is haunting Europe".
The latest nightmare scenario appears to be staged in Bosnia-Hercegovina, a republic in the former Yugoslavia. now about to be recognized by the EC. All agree that the ethnic composition of the population is such that it will inevitably lead to an "eruption into ethnicviolence". (Observer, 9th Feb 92) Indeed, what characterizes Westem perceptions of the area is dominated by the view that what is fuelling the development of these conflicts is the unfreezing of age-old irrational antagonisms. This is typified by M A.Bastenier, writing in "El Pals" (Thursday 11th July 1991) - "the present conflict represents the re-encounter ofhistory with itself, with one of the most entrenched balkan traditions: Serbs against Croats, the moors and the christians of old. although both belong to the christian civilisation by their geographi-
cal location."
The problem with this view is that it is based on an unquestioning acceptance of the terms of the debate thrown up by the conflict, namely one of ethnic diflerence. Only one conclusion flows from this premise: it is that the conflict is one of "tribal madness". which, akin to a disease, is mystically
The focus on the internal manifestations of the conflict in Yugoslavia in isolation of other trends In the world obscures Its real causes.
spreading amongst the Croat. Serb and Bosnian population. The whole of Yugoslavia is therefore seen as if it were completely divorced from the rest of the world, isolated from the collapse of Stalinism, the Gulf War. the world recession. In addition, the focus on the internal manifestations of confrontation obscures the real causes of the conflict and also misses what is new.
In fact, both Croatian and Serbian nationalisms are based on completely artificial and very recently manufactured identities. Previously, since the Vienna Agreement of 1850, both Serbs and Croats regarded themselves as having a common language and culture. Historically, the aspiration for a unified Balkan state was strongest in the Croatian community under Austro-Hungarian rule, and found its expression through a common struggle against foreign domination. That subsequently this Yugoslavian state survived seventy-three years indicates that for most people, it took precedence over their individual religious and ethnic backgrounds and loyalties.
The development of particular Identities in Yugoslavia is something which actually has a history of only a few years, and has come about as a result of
the ambitions of different sections of the old Stalinist bureaucracy in Yugoslavia. The ambitions have their origins in the collapse of the Yugoslavian economy and the differential impact of market forces on its republics. This has led both figureheads of the current conflict, FranjoTudjmanof Croatia and Slobodan Milosevic of Serbia, to renounce communism, embrace the market, and champion nationalism in order to secure a base of support in their respective republics.
The absurdity of the proposition that the con-fiict in Yugoslavia can be explained in terms of different ethnicities is even more apparent in relation to Bosnia.
What constitutes Bosnian identity?
Does being Bosnian mean being Croat,
Serb-Muslim. Muslim-Croat,
or simply Muslim?
Even the main political protagonists at the moment.
namely the Bosnian In-depend-ence Movement. cannot seem to make up their mind.
Previously,
they aligned themselves with Tudjman.
expressing the wish to
distance themselves from Serbia. Increasingly, however, they have sought indep>endence. which has not squared well with Tudjman or some in the West. Effectively. Bosnia has ceased to be Croatia's ally and has become a possible space for expansion. as Tudjman clearly wants to incorporate parts ofWestem Hercegovinainto the new Croatia. (New Statesman. 6th Dec. 1991) The importance of Bosnia has also changed in the West. Last December, as Germany was pushing for Croatian recognition in December. Bosnia was seen
by most as a liability:-"We have been able to conclude that the situation in Bosnia is very explosive. The Bosnian authorities fear that if Croatia is recognised separately, not as part ofapackagedeal, that could trigger an explosion", said EC mission's spokeswoman, Rinelde Steeghs (Guaixlian, 12thDec.l991).
others, like Roger Boyes. went even further by raising the spectre of Islam in Bosnia as a possible challenge to the West, "The Muslims of Bosnia are becoming more militant, and are arming in case of an attack by Serbian radicals. Various clandestine visits to Libjra and Iran have been
Sjrmbols of Croatian nationalism
Photo: Michael Kramer
made by Bosnian Muslims to secure money and other support for the endangered Muslims of Yugoslavia." (The Times, 27th Nov. 1992)
While commentators have continued scaremon-gering, the dominant opinion now seems to be in favour of the recognition of Bosnia. (Guardian 17th Feb.92) T^e Observer on 9th Feb 92 argued for West-em intervention to guarantee Bosnia's independent status from "Serbia and Croatia who now seem determined to break it up from the inside".
The shifting attitude of the West in relation to Bo-
snia corresponds to the shifting attitude in Croatia, and illustrates why it is impossible to understand events in Yugoslavia in their own terms. Clearly, it is the way Westem powers have chosen to manipulate the conflict for their own self-interests which has resulted in the escalation of the conflict into an international issue. Itwasatthe insistence of Germany that the EC imposed sanctions against Serbia and Montenegro and then used recognition to put pressure on these republics. This decision was a deliberate way of upping the stakes by giving legitimacy to Croatin nationalism.
The effect of recognition of Croatia has thus been to encourage its confidence to expand further, and to assert itself more strongly vis-a-vis other republics, particularly Bosnia. However, it has also given a new life to the fragmentation process, and this in two ways. Firstly, the veiy recognition of a national identity encourages others to do the same, which is why the discussion about the recognition of Bosnia and Bosnian identity is taking place now. Furthermore, it also exposes previously unaffected republics to the destabilising influence of rival Westem interests. The controversial recognition of Croatia be-
fore and the discussion about the recognition of Bosnia today show that these are diametrically opposed to each other.
America's clash with Germany over the issue of the recognition of Croatia, as well as the anti-German trash In the British press indicate that the game is about much more than the internal arrangements of Yugoslavia. In fact, it is about the realignment of Westem relations in the aftermath of the collapse of the old Cold War fabric which defined them during the past forty years.
It is this element which is most conspicuous by its absence from the current discussion. Almost no one has paused to note the striking difference between the relationship between America and Germany a year ago and today. Launching the Gulf War against Iraq, America was able to mobilise the West behind it, and despite gmmbling, get Germany and Japan to sign the cheque. Less than a year on, despite opposition from the United States, Germany took an unprecedented diplomatic initiative and forced the recognition of Croatia. This demonstrates that Germany is now a major player in intemational relations, and its open declaration of the Intention to dominate Eastern Europe means it is likely to pursue this strategy in relation to Yugoslavia and other parts of Extern Europe. As this accentuates American decline. and encourages others like Japan to challenge its hegemony, the US will be compelled to respond at some time with its own Initiative. In any case, as the scramble for influence in the East continues, we can be sure that Eastem Europe will continue to be the focus of the development of the new world order, or to put it frankly, the laboratory for imperialism in the 1990s.
Sinisa Vacic
There will be a conference on the 11th of March at the School Of Slavonic and East European Studies (2-5pni, Third Floor, Senate House, Malet St.) and at the LSE (2-9pm, A86, A44 and Old Theatre). enUtled "Eastern Europe Towards 2000: Ethnicity and Identity after the Cold War". It is sponsored by SSEES SU, LSE History Society, and Living Marxism. Speakers wfll include Edward Mortimer (FT). Frank Furedi (Chair Of Development Studies, Kent Unl.) and George Shopflin (SSEES). Tickets available at SSEES and LSE Students Unions.
9{ougfitonSt. 0-{arnj
Harry is writing as a week of Anglo-French sporting conflict comes to a satisfyingly succesful end. But it is not the emphatic, soul-warming performances that stand out. It is rather the manner of success in adverse circumstances. Not normally being one to stir trouble with our ne^hbours across the channel, Harry is finding it incredibly difficult this week. Rivalry between the English and French has of course existed for centuries, manifesting itself in dynastic wars and more recently the roasting of innocent British lambs by pyromaniac French farmers. The most recent manifestion has clearly been seen in the sporting world. Being head-butted and punched by the French has become part of the English international rugby players lot. It happened in the World Cup and it happened in last weeks Five-Nations game with the result of two players being sent off. Easily influenced footballers obviousfy were impressed by their rugby-playing compatriots. The international at Wembley last week featured a flying-kick being aimed at Neil Webb whilst taking a throw-in. The culprit escaped with a yellow-card and credit must be given to the Englishman who did not retaliate. Neil, internationally renowned for his academic brilliance, managed to recover from the kick to play on in the distinctively average manner he himself pioneered.
The worst example of the new offensive on English sport from across the channel occured at Albertville. Our glorious 2-man bobsleigh team were on the verge of winning Britain's first medal of the Games. Stood ready to go, the clockbroke down ("Honest"- MrFrench Olympic organiser). Tlie several minutes of delay which ensued damaged both physical and mental preparation for the boys, and they consequently performed in a more traditionally British manner. Considering the clock had broken down, the organisers seemed to have timed this incident very well.
The winter Olympics have also led Harry to wonder what's in a name? Britain's entrant in the women's Super-G had high hopes of finishing in the top 700, but unfortunately was to fall within approximately the first 5 seconds. Her name is Debbie Pratt. A glance around the rest of the sporting world would certainly hint at a link between having a crap name and being crap at sport. Being a Sottish goalkeeper has never been an easy cross to bear. Being a Scottish goalkeeper in St. Mirren's reserve team could be nigh on intolerable. The only thing that keeps this player happy is that he can wake up in the morning and rememberthat his name is Les Fridge.(p.s. The first-team keeper is Campbell Money, and he doesn't save very many - the link is proved.) Dermott Reeve is presently attempting to establish himself in the English cricket team, but he's useless and. spookily. so is his name.
Anyway, enough of this general whingeing save for one final gripe. Why is John Barnes so eminently dire as a team captain on "A Question of Sport". He posseses all the dress-sense of a genuine romany, and all the humour of a fart in a spacesuit. Big-Billy did his best to liven up the show but the other guests were hardly conducive. Laura Davis told us that she was on a succesful diet involving eating more fruit. ^ all appearances this meant an incredible amount of fruit, washed down with a nice side-serving oflard. The other guests could not come up with anj^hing remotely interesting, perhaps because Hany had hardly ever heard of them, or perhaps because they are very dull. Hany never thought he would say this, but Beely please come back, your tele^^sion needs you. It's not as if you're going to do much in the World Cup anyway.



Randell {days on despite amputation
Photo: Steve East
YouFatB'stard
RH&BNC4thXl .........4
LSE4thXI ..................3
For us to win this match would have given have us a faint hope of clinching third place In the league, forthem the stakes were higher. A win on our hallowed no.l pitch would keep their promotion hopes alive. If this was not enough it was also a major grudge match -not for the previuos result, but eleven personal grudges against their mouthy, over-physical team. Indeed, these minstrels of the over the ball tackle and over the top verbal would probably all be serving life-bans for bad attitude if it weren't for their one respectable, mild-mannered and well groomed player, indeed captain. Slim Jim.
Thirty seconds into the game Justin's hopeful lonp ball bounced into the path
of Adrian, whose first touch lob from outside the box left one bemused goalkeeper and twenty bemused players to stand and stare as the ball nestled in the net. RH's substitutes screamed obscenities at their defence and were threatened with the afore mentioned ban. Only Slim Jim's calming diplomacy restored discipline into the ranks of the goal-shocked opposition, as he assured the subs that their chance would come.
LSE could not get that vital second goal and were soon broken down. Having equalised. RH finally found a groove and with Slim's eloquent guidance made it 3-1 in the next few minutes. Their resulting complacence was as a goalmouth scramble allowed Danny to puD one back before half-time. He was further inspired by the team
talk (which with the fourths means the whole team talking simultaneousfy for five minutes) and battled into theboxtooutjumpboth the keeper and Slim to nod in the equaliser. The subs' cries of Jinglebells' soon died out.
Clive kept us in the game with two stunning displa3rs of perfectfytimed agility, but even worse was yet to come as RH got a winner with ten minutes left. Their men rallied and with victory in sight played a ten man defence. Eiven our boy Slim, surety an International Relations student, could not stop a spate of heavy late tackling from his troops, and even-tualfy a Justin Vir dive had the referee pointing to the spot. Not dwelling on the penalty (Did you miss it ?Ed.). the game was over but the fun was about to begin.
A chance dressing room comment referring to those RH players not lucky enough to have such a slen-deryet muscular physiques as their skipper's, and possibly containing the words "bag of lard" .left the fifths with eggon their chins. More precisely they were left with glass on their skin, as a deft punch to the glass doorpane left the dressing room with unusual newair-condition-ing. Slim, destined for a career in Personnel Management. swiftly placated his over-emotional colleague. located a dust-pan and brush and apologised profusety as he swept. He thenboughtus all a pint and made five trips into central London driving each of us to our door (Three cheers for Fat Frank! Ed.).
The Flying Midfielder.
ATHLETICS UNION GENERAL MEETING
THURSDAY 27 FEBRUARY in the NEW THEATRE
Discussion of changes to the Constitution and the creation of
a sabbatical post. See Athletics Union noticeboard for further details.