PULLOUT PACES 1114
The Beaver
2 March 2010 Newspaper of the London School of Economics Students' Union
thebeaveronline.co.uk
Confusion surrounds potential closure of St. Philips

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Phyllis Lui
The New Students' Centre redevelopment may be in jeopardy, as local stakeholders have the power to reject building plans. This was alleged by the Principal GP at St. Philips Medical Centre, whose practice faces potential closure.
Although demolition is not due to begin on the St. Philips site until early next year, the planning application was submitted at the end of February. It has been alleged that the MPs responsible for the two boroughs in which the LSE is situated, and the local community have the ability to reject the plans.
According to the LSE website on the redevelopment: "The New Students' Centre...will house the Students' Union
-	including venue, pub, learning cafe, exercise studio, roof terrace coffee/juice bar, fitness centre, media centre, activities space, societies activities, advice and
, representation centres; Inter Faith Prayer centre; Residences; Accommodation; Sales and Marketing Office; and LSE Careers' Service."
Dr. R O M Naidoo, the Principal GP of the Medical Centre, is sending an open letter to the LSE Council and national newspapers regarding the relocation, as "the fixture of the medical centre is at great and imminent risk". He believes that "despite written assurances from the LSE that the medical centre would be relocated
-	at present there is no realistic likelihood that this will happen before the proposed demolition is scheduled to begin".
He further asserted that, "whilst such intensive consultation has involved the intended occupiers of the new building I
feel that there has been a lack of adequate consultation with the current users".
LSE Director of Planning and Development Julian Robinson had stated on the website: "To enthuse and inspire - our aim is to create an exceptional piece of architecture that will play a key role in enhancing the student experience at LSE."
Dr. Naidoo argues that: "The conditions and health issues affecting the majority of students may seem more prosaic, I believe that the presence of an accessible and relevant primary care service can and does enhance the "Student Experience" of current and future students."
However, the LSESU has maintained that during talks as part of the New Students' Centre Project Board, "we have urged the School to ensure that the Medical Centre is retained and that its staff know the details of future changes in full." The Students' Union has communicated information regarding the project to students over the past few months.
An LSE spokesman stated: "A new site is needed because the St. Philips building is due to be demolished later this year to make way for the new student centre which will be built on the site. We are working to find alternative premises for the medical centre within the area of the Camden Primary Care Trust and as close to LSE as possible.
"The medical centre will remain in its present premises until at least June and we will be giving staff and students an update on the situation later this term."
Despite such assurances, another issue that has arisen regarding St. Philips concerns the its relationship with the LSE. Dr. Naidoo wrote that, "the practice is funded by the NHS and currently (although this was not the case previously)
receives no financial payment from the LSE. The practice has paid rent to the LSE in return for occupying the current practice premises in the St. Philips Building since its inception."
He feels that the relationship is "highly abnormal", and is "the root cause of the most important problems facing the practice today". Attempts by the LSE to "normalise" the relationship are seen to be "overly agressive, adversarial and often unhelpful".
"This has resulted in progress being very slow, the process has been attritional and demoralising and the financial expenses (in terms of legal fees) unaccept-ably high," Dr. Naidoo further wrote.
An article that was published in the British Medical Journal last week entitled 'New figures show glaring discrepancies in GPs funding', which held that St. Philips was the lowest funded practice with only £51 per patient, as it "is a special case because it is the practice that serves the London School of Economics".
Second year Government and Politics student Georgia Strawson, who started the Facebook group 'Save St. Philip's Medical Centre', commented: "I can give you a perfect case in point as to why the Medical Centre shouldn't be demolished; it's very simple: I felt awful yesterday, called the practice, which had no appointments available but I was still told to come straight away and was dealt with professionally and carefully."
"This is a perfect example of a medical centre taking its reputation, purpose and practice seriously; one that is ready to tend to a student's needs almost immediately. Furthermore, it does not remain solely a medical centre for LSE students, but for others outside the LSE world."
Official complaint filed over Union officials' conduct
Shibani Mahtani
After receiving advice from a Public Law lecturer at the LSE, a member of the campaign against the referendum filed a formal complaint against the LSESU General Secretary Aled Fisher.
2nd year Law student Mira Hammad made the complaint under section 10.1 of the Constitution, which states that: "A student may make a formal complaint to the General Secretary of the Students' Union, on one of two grounds: - l. Dissatisfaction in their dealings with the Union". Hammad raised 10 points as part of her complaint, half of which were complaints about the constitutionality of Union procedures. The other half were complaints about the conduct of officers of the SU. This included specific complaints against the conduct of Fisher in his role as General Secretary, and LSESU Treasurer George Wetz.
Public Law lecturer Jo Murkens advised Hammad that it is unconstitutional to amend the Constitution via a referendum, meaning that the SU has acted unconstitutionally over the course of the referendum. Dr Murkens also advised that if one were to put constitutional amendments to referenda in a constitutional manner, one would first be required to amend the Constitution at the Union General Meeting (UGM), allowing referenda to amend the Constitution in the
document of the Constitution itself.
This echoes the arguments of the "against" campaign, whose members have claimed that any change to the Constitution requires a 2/3rd majority at the UGM. However, the referendum only required a simple majority for the changes to pass, which members of the campaign claim is unconstitutional. A group called "Return the LSESU democracy" that was set up after the results of the referendum was released, now has 333 members.
Dissatisfied with the manner in which Fisher has proposed to deal with the complaint, Hammad has now taken the complaint to Adrian Hall, Secretary and Director of Administration of the LSE. This dissatisfaction concerns the suggested timescale of the intended response by Fisher, which is 21 days. Hammad also believes that the intended method by which the SU plans to deal with the complaint is unsatisfactory, stating that the neutrality of the executive committee has already been compromised.
Many of the substantive issues of the complaint are the same issues that have been raised within these pages an during the UGM regarding the conduct and constitutional validity of the recent referendum. The Constitution and Steer ing Committee (C&S) were the first to be implicated by this brewing dissatisfaction, resulting in a vote of'no confidence' being passed against the committee at the UGM two weeks ago.
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I'm on the pavement, thinking about the government"
Only a year ago, apathy seemed to sum up Election Week. Why are these people on Houghton Street? What are they running for? Wait... some of them are going to be paid £27,000 to do... what, exactly?
The Beaver, in its usual holier than thou style, urged our readers to basically care enough to turn up, scribble on a piece of paper and cast their vote that will determine the fate of our Union. And indeed, we could not have been more right. Imagine how different the year would have been had the composition of our current sabbatical team been even slightly more different. Perhaps these pages would not have been filled with so many bitter words and disillusioned rants against the Union and those who lead it.
Stakes this year could not be higher. As we report on hustings, lay out election manifestos and photograph the vibrant campaigning on Houghton Street, crucial
issues remain unsolved. The fate of St. Philips, our resident NHS medical centre, advertised in eveiy single Fresher's pack and all over the LSE website, hangs in the air. Officials from the School insist that the centre will be relocated, but worried doctors feel like these are but empty promises. This could mean the country's worst funded NHS GP practice, which has treated thousands of students and local residents on a shoestring budget, may be going the way of Wright's Bar and the Hare Krishna food stall (whose futures also remain uncertain). Complaints that LSE is hardly a community have not gotten any less vociferous, and student satisfaction remains sub par at best.
Even if the new Union officials do not manage to make LSE a loving, warm, happy community (think penguin colonies, perhaps) and save the world, one LSE student at a time, perhaps we can at least count on them to not tear the Union apart next year. We have seen what a lack
of consultation and a misunderstanding of what students' interests are can lead to. Cries of unconstitutional reforms and a subversion of democracy has led to C&S being no confidenced, and now, even an official complaint put forward to the School concerning the Union's conduct throughout the referendum. Many a student has been so unwilling to get involved after the whole debacle, and we only hope that those brave souls who have stood up, promising to unite us and give us more from this Union, will actually deliver. We do need more than false promises, after all. How many of those 57 policies did you actually deliver, George?
This week, we urge you to look beyond flashy campaigning, brutal electioneering, petty complaints and pretty faces along Houghton Street. Look at die manifestos. Look at the substance behind every single one of the candidates. And, vote. Please. The future of your Union could not be more important.
Collective
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Alizeh Kohari; Marion Koob; Vivek Kotecha; Anna Krausova; Ash ma Kunde; Dominic Lam; Cherie Leung; Gareth Lewis, Rob Low; Phyllis Lui; Shibani Mahtani; Zeeshan Malik; Nizar Manek; Sophie Marment; Jamie Mason; James McGibney; Duncan McKenna; Liam McLaughlin; Nitya Menon; Irfan Merali; Anna Mikeda; t Utsa Mukherjee; Aditi Nangia; Sanjiv Nanwani; Brett Noble; Ryan Ong; Nicolas Oudin; Kyle Packer; Pantellis Pali vi das; Anup Patel; Jaynesh Patel; Sachin Patel; Ahmed Peerbux; Alice Pelton; Alex Peters-Day; Ben Phillips; Clare Pickering; Chloe Pieters; Danielle Priestley; Ra-him Rahemtulla; Dominic Ram pat; Anjali Raval; Ricky Ren; Joe Rennison; Katherine Ripullone; Sacha Robehmed; Joe Sammut; Thienthai Sangkhaphanthanon; Amrita Saraogi; Dan Sheldon; Katerina Soukeras; Jonathan Storey; Andre Tartar; Su Wan Tan; Kerry Thompson; Oliver Townsend; Molly Tucker; Mark Ttayford Vladimir Unkovski-Korica; Aliabbas Virani Simon Wang; Jonathan Weir; Chris West garth George Wetz; David W hi taker; Matthew Willis; Chris Wilkins; Oliver Wiseman; Natalie Wong; David Woodbridge; Daniel Yates; Alex Young; Calum Young; Sofia Zabolotskih; Mehek Zafar;
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Discussing who to vote for in the Women's Officer election,
"I'm not sure... Ill probably
just vote for the fit one."
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The Beaver | 2 March 2010
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News
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2 March 2010 i The Beaver
Satoshi ICanazawa defends the "science" behind his views
Shibani Mahtani
Dr. Satoshi Kana2awa has responded to the recent uproar amongst LSE students concerning his "shocking" views and his suitability to teach at the School.
At Howard Davies' termly appearance at the Union General Meeting (UGM) two weeks ago, a student asked the Director to state his opinion on Dr. Kanazawa and his views. He cited an article in which Dr. Kanazawa, who is a reader in Management, asserted that: "half of Muslims
worldwide are terrorists or active supporters of terrorism".
The Director responded that he found these views "disagreeable" but that he was "not about to censor what members of the faculty wrote".
Speaking to the Beaver, Dr Kanazawa believed that: "Science is concerned with the pursuit of the truth. It is the study of "is", not "ought". My teaching and research often challenge cherished social beliefs, and the finding will almost inevitably upset some people. You can debate the logic and evidence behind my conclusions, but you cannot object because the findings are
upsetting. There is no room for personal feelings and sentiments in science."
He continued: "For example, my latest study, currently widely reported in the media, shows that more intelligent children are more like!y to become liberal and atheist. In the same paper, I suggest that the theoretical logical would also predict that more intelligent children are more likely to become environmentalist, feminist and (for men) pacifist. Whether or not I or anyone else personally endorse any of these causes has absolutely no relevance to the validity of the conclusion."
In a comment piece in this week's
issue of the Beaver, a student of Dr Kanazawa's said: "I'm not saying I did not enjoy his classes... But a teacher should educate his students, encourage critical thinking and challenge them to think about the subject. He does not provide this for us."
Talking about his course, MN101, Dr Kanazawa said:"Science is about testable theories and empirical evidence, and so is my course. Students in my classes are free to debate any scientific conclusion, mine or otherwise, on the basis of logic and evidence, but not personal feelings or sentiments."
An article in the Daily Mail last Monday mentions Dr Kanazawa's views. According to the article, Dr Kanazawa asserts that the smarter a man is, the less likely he is to cheat on his partner.
"The theory predicts that more intelligent men are more likely to value sexual exclusivity than less intelligent men," Kanazawa explained in the article.
LSE100 implements oral feedback to redress NSS results
VivekKotecha
The Teaching and Learning Innovation Sub-Committee (TLISC) received proposals to improve feedback through audio feedback, better responses on exam performance and quicker marking times.
A separate report by Dr. Steve Bond, Learning Technologist at the Centre for Learning Technology, highlights audio feedback as a way of dealing with the often illegible and impersonal comments which students receive. LSE 100 students received audio feedback on their essays last week.
Speaking to the Beaver, Dr. Bond said: "The evidence from all universities is that students much, much prefer audio feedback compared to recent feedback. What's not clear yet is whether it is objectively better. LSEioo will be our way of finding out if it is right for our students"
The TLISC will also discuss to give feedback on exams. Currently departments are not required to give feedback on exams and some students have resorted to using Data Protection Act requests to see their marked exam scripts.
According to the report, the School should spend greater effort on improv-
ing first year students' understanding on the uses of feedback. Masters students should get earlier feedback to help them understand LSE's exam standards. Comments on their dissertation topics across all departments and feedback on seminar presentations.
A few departments will try to standardize the feedback received by students from class teachers. The School has no consistent method for essay feedback • - while some receive detailed essay feedback, others get one line responses with no indication of their errors.
The School has focused on feedback after embarrassing 2009 National Student Survey results showed that only 53 per cent of LSE students found their feedback helpful. If approved by the TLISC, the proposed reforms will sent for approval to the Teaching, Learning and Assessment committee and then onwards for final approval by the Academic Board.
Livingstone confirms mayoral ambitions
Nathan Briant
Last Thursday, Ken Livingstone, former London mayor, reaffirmed his intentions to run for the post in 2012.
In a speech to the LSE Politics Society, he criticized the current mayor, Boris Johnson, as "someone with no political ideology" who "is doing nothing about anything". He said that Johnson's only aim was to replace David Cameron as Conservative leader at the next possible opportunity in order to fulfill a life-long ambition to become British Prime Minister.
" [Johnson]'s completely inauthentic... but he has a good chance of becoming Prime Minister compared to grey heads like [George] Osborne," said Livingstone.
Livingstone stated that he felt he had no competition in securing the Labour party's nomination for the next mayoral elections. "Who wants to be Frank Dob-son 2?" he said.
He also praised Eastern governments, especially the Chinese government, with whom he worked intermittently during his time as mayor between 2000 and 2008.
"[The Chinese government] think 50 years ahead, whereas our politicians only
think ahead to controlling tomorrow's news agenda."
Addressing a question about recent allegations made by Observer journalist Andrew Rawnsley regarding Gordon Brown's conduct towards civil servants, Livingstone said there might be truth to the stories.
"I think the public perception of Gordon is accurate. Although I haven't always agreed with [Rawnsley's] interpretations, in the past they have always been broadly fair."
The former mayor had no regrets over an economic partnership by Livingstone fostered with Venezuela and his friendship with the country's President, Hugo Chavez. Livingstone sees him "as a kindred spirit" and feels that people "basically recognize that he's decent; [in Venezuela] they have 100 per cent literacy."
He still feels that his consultation with the IRA when leader of Greater London Council in the 1980s was the right thing to do.
"We couldn't kill the IRA. There had to be political negotiation. 10 years later, another 1,000 people were killed," concluded Livingstone. "I think I was morally justified."
News
The Beaver | 2 March 2010
SOFT DRINKS FREE!
Vbove: Democracy Committee candidate, £achariah Sammour ielow: International Officer candidate ind Former C&S Chair, Michael Lok
No-confidence vote will not disrupt elections
Sabbatical Officers and Part-time Executive Officers will form a new appeals body, replacing the Constitution & Steering Committee (C&S) during the Lent Term elections.
The Constitution and Steering Committee is tasked with ensuring compliance with the LSESU Constitution and Codes of Practice. During elections, C&S typically acts as an appeals body for complaints and sanctions during the elections process. However, a vote of'no confidence' passed against C&S two weeks ago at a heated UGM, which has thrown the Union into an unprecedented situation.
An appeals body has been formed from the Trustees of the Students' Union for Lent Term Elections. The Trustees of the SU are all Sabbatical Officers and Part-time Executive Officers. Because of the potential conflict of interest, officers standing for election cannot be members of this new appeals board.
LSESU Returning Officer Shanti Kele-men, who was meant to work with C&S, explained that they were asked to serve as the appeals board, as they are already "ultimately responsible for the decisions
and actions of the LSE Students' Union. Per the Constitution, they (in particular, the General Secretary) are responsible for dealing with complaints about the Students' Union."
The Returning Officer is responsible for running Students' Union elections, and ensuring that the rules and regulations are observed by candidates.
The appeals body is only a temporary solution. The LSESU website says that from summer 2010, "the Constitution and Steering Committee will be replaced by a Democracy Committee serving a similar function but with new powers." These new powers have yet to be explained in further detail.
Elections for positions in the Democracy Committee will take place during Lent Term elections next week.
Candidate for the Democracy Committee, Zachariah Sammour, said during hustings last Thursday: "Our role would be to enforce the Constitution fairly, to • ensure that students get the rights they deserve."
Chris O'Brien, also running for the Democracy Committee believed that "the Committee will enable more motions to be discussed at the UGM" and that their open meetings would be publicized online.
Sabb candidates dr
Sachin Patel
Candidates for the Sabbatical positions in this term's Students' Union elections used last Thursday's hustings to draw attention to their policies on strengthening cohesion and community on campus.
Charlotte Gerada, standing for General Secretary, said that her experiences as RAG President had persuaded her to run a campaign promoting "community through charity", while Andrew Wright, a candidate for Education Officer, talked of "uniting disparate groups". Running for Community and Welfare Officer, Oliver Townsend suggested that the Sabbatical Officers should "move their office onto Houghton Street a few times every term" to change the nature of students' interactions with them.
The lack of adequate student experience and cohesion was prevously identified in an article by Filipe Martins, entitled "Multi-mono-culturalism at the LSE", published in the Beaver last year (17 February 2009). In the article, Martins stated: "the panoply of cultures does not necessarily translate into multicultural-
ism", a sentiment that has been shared by several candidates in the elections race. Hero Austin, standing for the office of Community and Welfare, suggested "strengthening community by holding regular meetings for societies".
Many candidates also prioritized students' personal development and the institution of change to the School's academic structures, to provide better value-for-money for the student body.
General Secretary candidate Suraj Girijashanker cited education as the most important part of being at the LSE, and proposed running workshops and programmes designed to improve graduate job prospects. Dan Kacinski, another General Secretary candidate, would refo-cus the Union on "providing job training" facilities.
Standing for Education Officer, Paul Rees Jones used the system of feedback via LSEForYou as an example of an existing facility that could be made "less impersonal" and "more useful".
A total of nine students are running for the four Sabbatical positions, none of whom occupy any of the current roles. Charlie Glyn, the incumbent Athletics Union (AU) President, is standing
Election candidates stake their claim for your votes
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Sachin Patel
Candidates in the Lent Term Students' Union elections used the occasion of hustings to air their manifestos with the wider student body.
Taking to the Quad directly after candidates for the Sabbatical positions had launched their campaigns at UGM Hustings, a total of thirty-one students gave one-minute speeches and answered questions from the floor.
The first contest to be discussed, in an event chaired by Returning Officer Shanti Kelemen, was that of Athletics Union (AU) President. Both candidates spoke of changing people's perceptions about the AU community, with Hamdi Talib arguing that the AU was "not just about getting drunk" and that the organization must "improve its image", while Ben Robinson suggested that a "RAG Week-style" tryout week would make the AU less cliquey and more inclusive.
While the two candidates differed in their opinions on alcohol-influenced antics, both agreed that more must be done to combat "smaller clubs getting a bad deal". On the former issue, Talib stressed that "fun does not always need alcohol" and that social events should be more about "cultural appreciation". On the latter subject, Robinson proposed Oxbridge-
style pairings between larger and smaller clubs in a social setting.
The four students running for Anti-Racism Officer all mentioned "upholding the equal opportunities policy of the university", though each proposed different methods of encouraging diversity on campus. Mubbien Hayat would institute a Diversity and Equality Week if elected, while using global sports events to encourage engagement between different groups. Ben Grabiner focused on honouring the School's "hentage of free speech... without letting it be abused". Ashwin Desai, who was "involved with the Timeless show", promised to use his experience in organizing events to create a multi-ethnic festival, while also stressing the importance of combating racism on campus by taking a stand against the "racist professor", Dr. Kanazawa.
Running uncontested for Disability Officer, Polly McKinlay promised to liaise with the School's Disability Office. In response to a question regarding disabled access around campus, McKinlay raised the issue of heavy doors, which should be fitted with powered opening mechanisms.
In the race to be International Officer, Michael Lok stated that he would provide "a platform for your issues"; in additon, he proposed organizing a global fashion show. Competing against him is Waqas Shahnawai Adenwala, who promised to provide greater support for students with
visa and bank account problems, and to those struggling to find accommodation. Adenwala also stressed the importance of improving provision for religious diets in LSE catering outlets, :o feature more Kosher and Halal choices.
A closely-fought campaign awaits the three students in the running for LGBT Officer. Reagan Persaud, who drew upon his successful running of the LSE's Pride Week during Michaelmas Term, pledged to run campaigns focusing on issues affecting the internatior.al LGBT community. Stating that integration would not come about by "rubbing it in people's faces", Persaud instead proposed to fight for the recognition of LGBT students as "human beings". Emma Kelly would work with other minority groups on campus to combat the British National Party's growing influence on campuses. Finally, Annai's Nourry, who stated that she was "the Social Secretary of the LGBT Society" focused her campaign on improving welfare provision for LGBT students through an expanded section in the Orientation Week guide.
A question was posed by the current LGBT Officer, Scott MacDonald, regarding how his successor would engage with LGBT students from ethnic minorities, to which all three candidates proposed organizing joint events with w w faith societies.
The two candidates pres-
LSE STUDEl
LENT TERM El
New Sabbatical positions finalized for next year
VhrekKotecha
With the LSESU election campaigning underway, voters will have to familiarise themselves with the different Sabbatical Officer roles available, which" were amended by referendum held a few weeks earlier.
The role of Treasurer has been replaced the Board of Trustees, which is made up of Sabbatical Officers and student members. The role of Education and Welfare Officer will be split into an Education Officer, and a Community and Development Officer.
An Activities and Development
Officer will replace the Societies Officer, whilst specialist staff will take over the role of Communications Officer. The Athletics Union president will now become a voting member of the Executive Committee. A part time paid Postgraduate sabbatical position has been created to reflect the importance of the postgraduates at LSE.
Part-time officers, the General Course Rep, Mature and Part-time Students Rep and Returning officer will not be on the Executive Committee.
Commenting on the changes, LSESU Treasurer George Wetz, said: "The long redundancy of the Treasurer and Comms Sabb positions meant that reconfiguring the Sabb team as a whole in response to the findings from extensive consulta-
tion was a must. Naturally, some of the functions of the part-time executive roles were incorporated into the full-time roles. Without negating the outstanding work of previous Societies' and Residences' Officers, the new system will mean full-time officers can be devoted to these issues, ultimately leading to more effective student representation."
The reforms were proposed by the LSESU last term as part of an agenda to make the student voice more important. Changes to the governing documents were also crucial, so as to ensure it was in line with the rules of the Charities Commission. Opponents to the reforms, however, claim that it will give more power to the executive officers of the LSESU.
News	v	5
\	2 March 2010 | The Beaver
lucation Officer candidate, ihok Kumar
aw up battle lines
uncontested in the race to become the first Activities and Development Officer. In a speech that made several references to this year's AU Carol controversy, Glyn insisted that the quick action taken by the AU was representative of how she would manage the role, if elected. Stating that "it's about how you deal with it", she also drew upon her experiences working with the paid staff of the Students' Union to explain how she would develop the student experience.
A recurring theme in candidates' speeches was the importance of reversing students' perceptions of the SU Executive, so that future policymaking is directly at the behest of what students want.
Girijashanker referred to the "lack of consultation" about the reforms as being indicative of a wider problem with the Union not focusing its activities in the right areas. Pre-empting Townsend's pledge to make the Sabbatical Officers more visible and approachable, he stated that they should be "out there on Houghton Street, not just in the office." Rees Jones, meanwhile, based much of his speech around the refrain that students should "have it your way".
Dan Kacinski stated: "The Union is not open to all new students", a problem
that he would seek to address.
Another subject featuring frequently in candidates' rhetoric was that of tuition fees, which are set to rise dramatically if the Browne Review's findings are fully integrated into government policy. Andrew Wright, who is currently the Residences Officer, argued that his first-hand experience in the SU Executive would be helpful in creating "a more visible Union", which could campaign successfully against national issues such as the fees debate. Also standing for Education Officer, Ashok Kumar referred to his previous actions as a Sabbatical Officer of the University of Wisconsin-Madison, where he organized a "grassroots, door to door mobilisation" of students that campaigned against fee hikes.
The audience's reaction to the candidates' speeches was generally positive, though divisions emerged when a question was asked regarding the Community and Welfare candidates' stances on the recent "lads' mags" debate. Townsend stressed that "choice is paramount",
while Austin stated that "FHM should be banned from the SU shop", but also that students should "boycott" the sale of the magazine.
Candidates resolve campaign complaints
Eunice Ng
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So far, the elections have been amicable and uncontro-versial
- Bankside resident
Campaigning for the LSESU elections began at 2pm last Thursday, but two candidates were found to have misrepresented their qualifications.
Ashok Kumar, a postgraduate candidate for Education Officer, was questioned on his past experience. His campaign states that as academic officer at the University of Wisconsin, Kumar organized a "successful" campaign against tuition fee increases. It further claims that when he won a seat on Wisconsin's Dane County Board, he became one of the youngest elected officials in the US. People questioned Kumar's use of the word "success" stating that in an interview Kumar said the campaign was not successful. They also asked whether he actually served on Wisconsin's Dane County board.
Nik Adhia, running for a trustree board position, stated in campaign posters that he had been a regional manager for Envision, a UK sustainable development charity. A person claiming familiarity with the charity alleged that Adhia could not have held the position.
Investigating Kumar, LSESU Returning Officer Shanti Kelemen, concluded that Kumar's Dane County Board experience was genuine. Both complaints were taade to Kelemen in her capacity as Returning Officer.
On the issue of the tuition fees, Kumar confirmed what he said in the interview, but that he now considers the campaign a success mainly because he mobilized thousands of students. The University did increase tuition fees but not as much as originally proposed. Kelemen concluded that the phrase "successfully ran two-year tuition freeze campaign" implied a fee freeze and requested that Kumar remove "successfully" from promotional material. Kumar had until 4pm on Monday to
comply.
Responding to his complaints, Kumar said: "These are one of the most democratic elections I have ever been a part of and I fully support the complaints procedures. But it's a shame when the complaints process is used to nitpick at the smallest of details and make fallacious accusations to tarnish an opponents record simply as a political strategy. Sadly, I think this is currently the case with the complaints lodged against me by one of my opponents."
Kelemen also investigated the complaints against Adhia. Adhia clarified that during his school years, he was a volunteer at Envision, where he organised fundrais-ing for his school and others in the area. Kelemen concluded that the title "Regional Manager at Envision" overstated Adhia's duties and that he should remove claims of being a "regional manager"
from his campaign materials by 4pm on Monday.
In a statement to the Beaver, Adhia said: "I did not intentionally mean to overstate my qualifications; this was the title I was given at the time. Regional team manager does not state I was a 'national' manager or part of the core management team - it specifically mentions region. I'd like to add this isn't just a claim: I led during my high school years a set of teams in the region that I live in on projects directly focused on fundraising for natural disaster victims."
Kelemen also received complaints about "negative compaigning" from Zach-ariah Sammour. Complaints were also made about Andrew Wright, candidate for Education Officer, as others were sending out Facebook messages and emails without his knowledge. Neither candidate currently faces sanctions. The full list of complaints is currently published on the LSESU website.
1
NTS' UNION
.ECTIONS 2010
ent for Environment and Ethics Officer took markedly different approaches to their speeches. Hannah Williams spoke of the "great potential" for environmentally-friendly action on campus, proposing :o make recycling more convenient for students by working with the School to make recycling bins more prevalent. Lois Clifton, who claimed that she was "scared about sustainability", told the audience that "we cannot get complacent". In her speech, Clifton proposed banning the sale of bottled water on campus.
A question was raised as to how the candidates would approach the ethical half of their remit, to which Williams proposed a boycott on Nestle products. Clifton, meanwhile, stressed that the student body should campaign against the School's current investment policy.
The final liberation officer contest to be debated was that of Women's Officer, which will now be contested by three students, following the withdrawal of Anna Sutton's candidature. Speaking first, Emma Clewer said that she was "sick of unequal treatment", and that the issue of women being underrepresented could be combated by organizing more forums, discussions and debates. Saskia Baer proposed to "abolish gender stereotypes in our everyday lives" by uniting women
and men in dialogue. Baer also suggested creating a column in the Beaver to air the views of women on campus. Maisie Jobe stated that she wished to "promote the positive individuality" of women, by focusing on employability, safety and visibility. She pledged to achieve these goals by organizing workshops and public speaking sessions, by providing more rape alarms and condoms, and by putting up posters for licensed taxi numbers in toilets on campus.
A number of students are running for the newly-created entities of the Democracy Committee and the Board of Trustees. The predominant undercurrent to the speeches of Democracy Committee candidates was to combat the negative perceptions that have plagued its progenitor, the Constitution and Steering Committee, which was recently no-confidenced. Chris O'Brien proposed publishing minutes of open meetings online to increase the transparency of the committee's actions, while Zachariah Sammour pledged to carry out "impartial procedures" by "enforcing the constitution fairly". Adam Connell stressed that the committee should act as the "guardians of the SU", while Jack Tindale, who referred to the "trust" he has already repaid to students "as UGM Chair", argued for a balance between the "great potential to be
powerful" and the need to be "accountable to and representative of students".
Most of the students competing for the three available positions on the Board of Trustees prioritized prudent financial responsibility and holding the Sabbatical Officers to account, with Mohammed Morley calling for increased "Sabb transparency". Another recurring theme was giving a fairer deal to societies and employees of the Union, with Scott Mac-Donald promising to tackle the problems faced by societies when planning events with the Conferences department.
In response to a question regarding the Media Group's role in scrutinizing the actions of the Board of Trustees, the candidates' answers were indicative of their united belief, that the trustees would be fully accountable to students. Jack Tindale implored the Media Group to "be a whis-tleblower" and Michael Lok stated that he would be "ready to take on any questions from students"; however, Sam Tempest Keeping urged potential complainants to work within the "legal framework of the Students' Union", because "we can't let the SU get sued".
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- Bankside istyear ff
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From short films to the 'Loose TV Sketch Show' and the all new 'Loose TV Careers Show', see what Loose TV has been up to recently.
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The Beaver | 2 March 2010
News
HSBC chairman: trust is the market's "most precious commodity"
Dominic Lam
At a lecture last Wednesday, Stephen Green, chairman of HSBC Holdings, said that the fundamental lesson to be learnt from the financial crisis is that ethics and values have to drive everything banks do.
With M. Umer Chapra, Research Adviser at the Islamic Research and Training Institute (IRTI) of the Islamic Development Bank (IDB), Mr. Green discussed the growing role that Islamic finance has on the global financial markets.
Green's speech focused on three issues - the role of financial markets, the shift of the world's economic centre, and the ethics and sustainability of financial practices.
He noted that while emerging coun-
tries are rebounding faster than developed countries after the financial crisis, some important lessons can be learnt from it. "The last few years have seen the principles of market capitalism tested to their very limit. But ultimately the crisis has only served to reinforce the fact that there is simply no alternative to market based development."
Green emphasized the Islamic market's potential, estimating that Islamic assets under management could increase by 20 per cent a year. Islamic financial products are now available in 48 countries. London is the world's third largest centre for Islamic finance.
But there are still challenges. The Islamic market lacks regulatory standardization and the depth of developed markets. Some Islamic countries are characterized by income inequality, limited
access to financial services and an aging population. But he added that dismissing the developing world's need for functional financial markets would be "absolutely the wrong lesson to take from the crisis."
Banks can learn from Islamic finance about developing ethical products, according to Green. "Islamic banking weathered the worst of the financial crisis because its principles advocate avoiding excessive leverage, uncertainty and speculation, focusing instead on real projects and real assets."
He stressed that banks should respond to customer demand for transparency, concluding: "In the aftermath of the financial crisis, it is trust, after all, that is the most precious of commodities in the financial services."
2 March 2010 | The Beaver 7
MPs (possibly) well hung
Maitiu Corbett
The latest YouGov statistics, processed by the UK Polling Report (UKPR), indicate that if the General Election were held now, the Tories would be 19 seats short of a majority. This would not be the first time, even in recent years, that Britain has been left with a hung Parliament. By-election losses imposed such a situation in 1978 and 1996.
The deficit that a general election can produce can, however, be much more damaging. The last post-GE hung Parliament in 1974 lasted just 7 months. A breakdown of coalition negotiations led to the breakdown of Parliament. The one before that, in 1929, only lasted 2 years, and was also shot through with intractable coalition tensions (though in fairness it shared a stage with the Great Depression). Westminster does not deal well with party cooperation, though this has been surprisingly successful in Scotland and Wales.
How odd that being well hung should be so emasculating. Such a result could leave David Cameron licking almost as many wounds as Labour, and fresher ones. He would be almost completely castrated in bullying through legislation in the manner often taken for granted by successive governments. Still, Nick Clegg indicated in November that the Liberal Democrats will support whoever wins, which still looks likely to be the Tories: the biggest share of the vote going to Labour is still a far-off hope, despite ex-Labour minister James Purnell's recent optimistic outburst (more on that below).
Nick Clegg dispelled thoughts last year that the Lib Dems were more Labour-friendly, saying that the party with the biggest share of the vote have the "first right" to form a government. On current polls, such a partnership would command a 66-seat majority in the Commons, a workable 10 per cent majority if policy agreements could be struck. Parties may learn from the policy stubbornness of the contracting parties in previous hung Parliaments, and strike compromises rather than lose government. The Tories certainly look eager to rule under Cameron.
Labour is, nonetheless, trying to break off this engagement, and might succeed. With his announcement three weeks ago that Labour would seek to legislate and hold a referendum on a new voting system, Brown may tickle the Lib Dems in a way Cameron cannot. For the Liberal
Democrats, voting reform is the holy grail. For now, they remain coy, muttering that the 'alternative vote' (AV) system (under which voters' preferences are graded and worked through until a clear majority emerges within constituencies) doesn't go far enough. When it comes to the crunch though, everyone's second favourite party may see that such a system could help close the gap between their votes and seats. In 2005,22.1 per cent of the votes won them just 9.6 per cent of the seats. Any system that aggregates between First Past The Post (FPTP) and a pure vote would benefit them. Between Tories and Labour, the Lib Dems seem to have a choice between the stronger coalition now, or the delayed possible benefit of multiple possible coalitions in the future.
The latter option still looks weak though. On current statistics, even with Liberal support, a Labour-led coalition I would still command only 6 seats more than the Tories. Nevertheless, those who have seen UKPR's prediction of a hung Parliament jump from 3 to 19 in just over ; one week may note a trend in Labour's 1 favour, insofar as it hurts the Conservatives. Nick Clegg may note this too, and if he is tempted by the promise of AV, which smaller parties might also support, he may speculate on Labour being strong enough to share government and push through such a reform. All the same, Labour's 1997 manifesto also promised electoral reform and that was soon scrapped, but only because Blair had the luxury of a landslide victory and plenty more powerful mandates to feed off. Brown would have to come good on his promise if he wanted to rely on the liberal vote to control parliament but, ironically, it is the lack of such a landslide majority that will probably prevent him from doing so.
No matter whom Clegg picks to throw his lot in with, he will be aware of the realities of British politics. True equal partnership is psychologically, if not otherwise, impossible: somebody has to live in Number 10. Brown certainly won't be moving out while there is the chance of continuing in government, and Cameron will be in there like a shark on bait.
But, to labour a point (pun intended), what of the much-touted Labour resurgence? Some may see Purnell's about-turn on the party's prospects of re-election under Brown as somewhat of a turning point, echoing the public's grudging acceptance that perhaps Brown hasn't done that bad a job after all. His recent bullying allegations haven't affected the polls one iota, according to what YouGov can extract from the British electorate. Furthermore, on Tuesday the IMF vindicated his continued use of economic stimuli, in direct rebuttal to David Cameron's promise to
remove them. Is it possible that Brown's stony-faced resilience (or at least bloody-mindedness) will actually be an electoral asset, if not an inspiration?
James Purnell's speech at the LSE last week offered some suggestions on how Labour might build on such shallow gains. In a truly groundbreaking revelation he suggested that the country's premier political parly could do with an ideology of some sort. Many will see this as nothing more than a satisfying admittance of New Labour's moral vacuousness by an avowed Blairite. This is not the way Purnell would put it though, and he may have a point. The Tory infiltration of Labour's policy agenda is, he says, "a massive act of flattery", and offers Labour an opportunity to swoop down upon the moral vacuum they have left behind.
This idea is problematic. Labour can hardly swoop further to the right, to the Tories' old hunting grounds; that would actually confirm their critics' accusations of moral pragmatism. If they swoop the other way, they risk splitting the moral left vote with the Liberals. Furthermore, during financial crises voters at their most pragmatic. The middle ground is still the safer ground. This is not to say Purnell's ideas aren't good; they sparkle with egalitarian hope, but they won't win votes.
What about the shiny new, dolphin-friendly Conservatives? Both their policies and Cameron's image have taken a bit of a beating lately. "I've never voted Tory before and I'm not going to bloody start now" runs the spoof campaign ad of the kind splashed across the internet. The party in front seems to be suffering from Toyota syndrome: with the accelerator stuck they don't seem able to avoid their own policy potholes. People may be surprised to find themselves nodding along to Alistair Darling when he delightedly cheeps "The IMFs report [on maintaining stimulus] is further evidence that David Cameron and George Osborne have neither the experience nor the judgment to be trusted with the economy". Furthermore, the Guardian reports a sharp and horrifying drop in the British public's belief in climate change as a serious issue. This can only harm the Tories' flagship policy of conservational Conservatism.
Yet the Tories will still almost definitely win more seats, and because of this they should be the only real choice for the Liberal Democrats to ally with. A Labour coalition would probably end in tears, and no AV referendum, and Nick Clegg's assertion of "first right" for the biggest party should ensure a reasonably stable partnership with Cameron's fr»nt bench. Even so, the prospect of coalition government seems to have rather crept up on people, which is odd given that it is their opinions
CURTAIN
How odd that being well hung should be so emasculating
that produce YouGov's data. However, two statistical points deserve to be made.
Firstly, the UK Polling Report (using YouGov's data) applies the national change in PR vote share to each individual seat, and then tots up the results via FPTP. This is like giving a bicycle four wheels to prove that two work better. The UKPR admit themselves that "This is a crude measure and can result in some illogical and impossible projections - for example, if a poll showed Labour support dropping by 13 per cent, as one poll did during Summer 2008, then a uniform swing calculation using those figures would project Labour getting less than zero votes in 48 seats. This is clearly nonsense."
A second reason to be wary of the polls is that incumbents often do better on Election Day than the previous day's polls suggest. Combined with the above polling ambiguity and the trend it nonetheless represents, the Tories may be even less successful than their current position - certainly an achievement as the opposition to one of Britain's most hated Governments under its least popular Prime Minister. Labour may, against all odds, arrive the better coalition partner on May 6th (or whenever it'll be).
There is no constitutional debate, just civil war
Sebastian Steinfeld
I was on the C&S committee that got no confidenced last week owing to the alleged "debate" on the constitution. I also was the only fully qualified solicitor on the committee. However, the media has not so far given a fair representation of what happened in C&S that day.
The basic truth is that there is no constitutional debate. The provisions provided by the "no campaign" don't refer to referendums they refer to UGMs. Their case is that because the constitution did not explicitly say that a referendum required a simple majority, then it should be subject to the super majority restrictions required for UGM constitution amendments. Then, assuming this is right, the Returning Officer was unconstitutional
in ruling only a simple majority should be required. Finally, the Returning Officer should have changed the rules of the game after voting had counted. Therefore, notwithstanding clear constitutional provisions saying the UGM may not challenge referendum results for 3 years, the UGM should have the right to determine the constitutionality of the referendum therefore whether it should fall.
But the only purpose of the super majority requirement at UGM is to protect the students from coups by minority groups at the UGM meetings. Arguing that students need similar protections in a referendum is nothing short of insane. The students need protecting from ... themselves apparently. Hmmmm.
Instead, the constitution is clear. A referendum trumps a UGM. Referendums are intended to protect the majority of students from the minority that happened to turn up one day. The minority of students cannot have a veto on how the union functions if the majority wishes the rules to change, if they did, the majority of students would be powerless to change
unfair rules. This is called a dictatorship.
Instead, the reason the constitution was silent on the majority required is that it is blatantly obvious that referendums are decided by simple majority. With some very rare exceptions, this is the practice in all referendums everywhere on the planet.
Just like those without scientific training find it difficult to distinguish scientific junk with scientific truth, I concede some people with no legal training will have difficulty distinguishing fabricated constitutional arguments from genuine ones.
But, the decision supporting the constitutionality of the referendum was supported not by one but two independent legal opinions and a 5-1 majority of C&S (ignoring blatantly political motivated votes) including all the members with legal knowledge.
So if this sham of a "debate" is not really a debate on the constitution, what is actually happening?
We have to look at what the students were deciding in point 3. Point three es-
sentially moved votes at the UGM online. But what this was really about was whether to continue letting decisions be decided by whichever pressure group turns up at to UGMs in the largest numbers. The new system allows more normal students who have lectures or other commitments at 1300 on Thursday afternoon to have their voice heard too. Thus, the minorities that would travel to the end of the Earth for a vote against, basically, Israel have had their stranglehold over the student voice significantly weakened.
So now Pal Soc, the SWP and other usual suspects are furious and on the war path. They are attacking everything they possibly can, packing the UGM in the usual way in a desperate but (thanks to us) futile effort to force the issue of the referendum back into the UGM so that they can kill it. Even after C&S's binding decision, they are campaigning to the board of governors to get them to thwart the will off the students, as if there is any chance of that.
And so we are in a political stalemate with neither side prepared to budge an
inch. And this battle is getting nasty. Anybody that dares make the "wrong" decision, like C&S, is ruthlessly removed- The Returning Officer has been particularly targeted and the Sabbs are being unfairly harassed and victimised. Anybody who has the gall to stand back and say "hold on, didn't you guys lose the referendum" is a target.
So how do we move on from here?
In democracy, we have a system for overcoming political stalement. It's called a referendum, and a referendum, no matter how close, has to be respected.
I call upon those from the "no" Campaign to call off this madness. Accept that you lost the referendum and move on. You may have to now find new campaigning methods, but is that so bad? You believe in your cause, right? All that has changed' is that with more students voting, you will now need to convince more of your fellow students that your cause is just before the Union will act. Is that really so bad?
8
The Beaver | 2 March 2010
Comment
Muslims are the major casualties of terrorism
Ali Auda
I was driving along in Central Baghdad last June. It was a relatively normal day, 43°C heat, cars honking and people going about their daily business. This was until a roadside bomb went off 200 metres behind us. It was a frightening experience for me. I kept wondering at the time 'what if the bomb had been placed 200 metres ahead, in front of our car, or closer to our car, or beside our car?' My blood still runs cold when I think about it. At the time, I vividly remember looking around in the car, where I could see the smoke starting to rise in the air. I noticed that everyone around the area carried on as if nothing had happened. This chilling view is a sad reality of what Iraqi civilians have to live with; constantly under the threat of terrorism for the last 7years. At times, during the past 6 years, it has been like 7/7 nearly every day for the Iraqi people. At other times, bomb attacks escalated the 7/7 level and impact.
I found out later that two people lost their lives in that bomb attack.
But why am I discussing this? It is because I want to make it clear to everyone who is reading this article that terrorism affects everyone and so far the biggest casualties have been Muslims themselves. Indeed, my family has suffered from terrorism in Iraq.
As I am writing this article, I find out, unfortunately, that a female suicide bomber has killed 54 people and injured 106 people in Shaab, North-East Baghdad. The target: innocent civilians seeking to exercise their religious freedom. This sectarian attack seeks, like all the previous ones, to provoke the return to the near civil war that Iraq went through from 2006-2007. It is pleasing to see that there are no retaliatory attacks to these cowardly people, but it shows us how innocent people are having their lives taken away from them, in the blink of an eye. Widows
and orphans are created every single day. Do these terrorists not know the pain they are causing? What is saddening the most is that they do and this is their intention. It is beyond belief that people like these exist in this world.
There are people that fabricate the truth by saying the coalition forces have been the ones who have caused the deaths of so many Iraqi people. I can tell you now that is the biggest lie that you have been told. I have been to Iraq and have experienced terrorist attacks which are placed in areas where there are a lot of civilians, in order to cause maximum casually. The usual tactics terrorists use in civilian places is to place small metal balls inside the bomb so this causes maximum injury to anyone they have not have managed to kill. People that claim the USA have killed over 1 million Iraqi civilians, yet have never set foot in Iraq and understood its history. Tony Blair rightly said, in the Chilcot inquiry, that it was not the Allied forces who were killing civilians but it was the terrorists who need to be eradicated.
Reports suggest that over 100,000 Iraqi civilians have died as a result of suicide attacks on schools, markets, churches, mosques, etc. You name it, a bomb has attacked it.
But who are these people who are continuing to commit these atrocities? Can such people exist in our world? Sadly, yes. It is these so-called 'Muslims' who put the name Islam to shame. These people do not know what it means to be a Muslim. Committing suicide is one of the worse actions anyone can do under Islam. It is forbidden to throw away the sacred life that God has given you (4:29-30). What is even more worse, suicide bombers don't just take their own lives, they take dozens, perhaps hundreds, of other innocent lives around them. These people have rjot even read the Holy Qu'ran and if they have, then they have not understood it, as it clearly says: "Whoever slays a soul, unless it be for a manslaughter or for mischief in the land, it is as though he slew all men; and whoever keeps it alive, it is as though he kept alive all men." (5:32)
But where has terrorism originated from? Where has the idea come from that is the work of God to kill as many of his
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It is these so-called
'Muslims' who put the name of Islam to shame
creations as possible? I can tell you that this is an answer I, myself, am not sure of. Terrorism can be used to achieve violent means, like in Iraq, where remnants of the regime disposed 2003, with the aid of foreign terrorists are trying to regain control through violence. Or, through violent criminal groups whose only aims are to seek awareness or fight the government. Finally, the most prevalent terrorist activities are a result of religious fanaticism that consider certain other religious groups are considered heretics and have to be exterminated.
It is unfortunate that the future of Iraq looks bleak with terrorists seeking to undermine its democracy through violence. It is a monumental task to rid Iraq
Aftermath of a car bomb, Baghdad
Photo: fliclcr user rodneylaend
of the remnants of the Ba'athist regime. Millions of people joined the party and many thousands were indoctrinated to wreak havoc in Iraq should the regime fall. Even the terrible Nazis never resorted to an insurgency when they fell in 1945. It has been nearly 7 years since the fall of the Ba'athist regime and, sadly, the terrorists are still going strong, with help from religious fanaticism.
As I finish writing this article, I find that a suicide bomber has killed another 20 people in the city of Karbala, south of Baghdad.
Re-sits - "you cannot have everything"
Is the Students' Union's campaign benefiting from taking place behind closed doors?
Election candidate
Last term saw a large majority vote in favour of a motion calling for the SU to lobby the School over the issue of re-sits. The rhetoric of the proposers was impressive, appealing to seemingly anybody with a conscience. They very cleverly pushed through the whole re-sits bill - one that includes re-sits for anybody who fails anything - under the guise of helping out those who had suffered bereavement or major illness. Opposition to the motion was stilted at best, coming from the conservative wings of the UGM, those with a safe 2.1 and those with seemingly no heart. This motion surely could not fail. A standard propaganda trick.
Howard Davies was called upon recently to give his opinion of re-sits. He firstly called into question the accuracy of the 99.4 per cent claim, one he alluded.to as being victim to Alistair Campbell-style sexing-up of the facts. He also justified the School's current position, stating that we carry a significant number of bad fails comparable to the country's other leading institutions. Now I have heard Davies talk on numerous occasions and know the ease with which he papers over the cracks in the school's system; one only has to
recall how comfortably he dismissed the various league tables that we have been slipping in rather than address our own shortcomings
However, this time I happen to agree with his sentiment, if not all of his reasoning. This is made more pertinent because there has not been any further open discourse on the issue, nor has the SU given us a status report or any insight into what it is they are actually fighting for behind closed doors. Needless to say, much of this will be due to their attentions being elsewhere, namely dealing with the aftermath of the recent referendum.
Let me offer some observations that have been conspicuous by their absence in the re-sits campaign.
LSE's unique system of examinations dictates that all 12 exams we take, particularly those in the second and third years, are essentially finals. This is not the same anywhere else in the country. To allow an LSE student to re-sit because they have not made the grade is comparable to allowing an Oxford student to re-sit the exams that they take in third year. Take the University of Manchester, a representative model of most of the top 30 establishments. Their system is tiered in such as way that their first year counts for nothing, their second year for 15 per cent and their third year for 85 per cent. You cannot retake anything in the third year; everything to retake earlier on is capped at 40 per cent, and you lose your honours status. The point is that it is disingenuous to compare us to other universities in such
It is disingenuous to compare us to other universities in such a blase and incongruous manner
a blase and incongruous manner.
This is to say nothing of the reputation of LSE. I know it apparently doesn't matter to any of us, but let me assure you it does. I am not accusing everybody of hailing that little red stamp above all else, and saying it's the only reason we are here. However, the mere fact that you looked up LSE and bothered to check that the course suited you when applying speaks volumes of the weight it directly and indirectly carries. This reputation is built on the notion that life is tough here. We get 10 to 12 hours of contact time a week, Moodle, teachers that struggle with English and no re-sits. We know it, and so does everybody else in the big wide world.
I have one final gripe. Nobody has given me a convincing answer to the problem of people deliberately failing an exam to concentrate on others. This is particularly relevant in the first year when you could ditch one module, bump up the grades in the other three, and then say you just had a bad day. Nobody knows whether you have done any work from the end of Lent Term, so no one can prove otherwise. It is not just restricted to first years either, the same can happen in the second year. Instead of getting three 2.2s, one could try and get two 2.1s and strategically fail the other to enhance the overall number of 2.1s. This is a problem with the LSE system and how it is not suited to resits.
I also believe that it creates an artificial safety net. Without meaning to sound patronizing, some students, perhaps myself included, would have a differ-
ent outlook if we knew we could re-sit a module. It is certainly like that at other institutions. It incentivizes people to take the easy way out, to not put in those long gruelling hours in the library when it is sunny outside. The response to this on the Facebook group is: 'I don't see it as a cop-out for slacking off. I'd like to think that if you're in the LSE you value your academic ¦results and want to do well'. This is a self defeating argument as we are setting ourselves apart from others yet wanting to be treated just the same. You cannot have everything.
This article is too short to convey my point properly. What I suggest is more debate and a fuller disclosure of the SU's intended plans. I would also advocate a stronger emphasis on further relaxations in the understanding of exceptional circumstances to ensure all those that genuinely deserve a second shot are allowed it.
All of this comes by way of a word of warning, and a way to start the debate properly. I hope somebody will write a letter to the editor in response, showing me to be stupid and way off the mark. But it's about time people fully understood the implications of their decisions and I agree with Howard Davies that we should be careful what we wish for. All that glitters is not gold, and if we get these reforms wrong, we will not get a second chance to change them.
Comment
2 March 2010 i The Beaver
Weapons of Mass Distraction
Luke
Smolinski
There is an old adage in the newspaper industry that to be a commentator, you need to follow two rules: "Simplify, then exaggerate." So - the traditional columnist would continue - Blair is a conniving, wiry-haired, rodent-faced warmonger, pathologically incapable of doing anything but lying. He lied that there were Weapons of Mass Destruction, deceived the Cabinet and the entire nation, so as to crawl further up the anal recesses of the American president and commit the country to a war of needless cataclysmic devastation. This is how the traditional column goes. Mr Blair's tragic flaw is that he is a liar. He was born by spin. He died by spin.
But this argument helps no-one. It erects a straw man, which any smug, populism-loathing historian can quickly knock down. Andrew Roberts has already asserted that, if we conduct a proper analysis of history, we will find that there was a good case to invade Iraq. If we are nuanced in our approach, if we apply a subtle interpretation of history, we will find that the government had truly believed that there were WMDs. The Hutton Inquiry, the Butler Inquiry and the Chilcot Inquiry were not whitewashes, but properly-conducted investigations -and they all showed that the dossier was not sexed-up, that the government truly came to believe Saddam was a threat, and that there was a good case for war. Is this our final judgement on history? Must we conclude the war was just?
The truth is that WMDs are a useful diversion. If this is our only criticism - that
Blair lied over WMDs - it can easily be dismissed as 'populist nonsense'. Here's how the response goes. We thought there were WMDs. There weren't WMDs. But we were right to invade, given what we knew at the time. If the argument centres on this, it is easy for Blair to escape from this criticism. All Blair has to do is assert that it wasn't a lie, it was a decision. "I believed it was the right thing to do", "I had to take this decision as prime minister": the argument is reduced to Blair denying that he's a liar.
Let us get to the heart of the issue, then. What of jus ad bellum? Was the reasoning for war just, from the outset? Blair's first justification is, and has always been, that Saddam was a threat to national security. The problem lies in the criteria for knowledge. The evidence, described to the PM as "patchy" and "sporadic", was soon cited by Tony Blair in the House of Commons as "beyond doubt". How was this transition made? The error lies in Tony Blair's reasoning.
Tony Blair possessed a conviction that Saddam was a deep threat to national security, prior to any evidence of this. We know that Blair sent a series of private letters to Bush, assuring him "we are absolutely with you" - prior to any solid intelligence. Afterwards, Blair asked the intelligence services to compile a dossier proving the case for British action. This was done in entirely the wrong order. You do not start with a belief, and then ask for evidence of that belief. In science, in history, in the social sciences, you start with the evidence, from which you draw your hypothesis. Beliefs and convictions are too easily confirmed by the human capacity to seek confirmations, to search for patterns.
Evidence was found from a source which was untried and untested. These were the qualifications of the dossier: it was "patchy" and "sporadic". Yet so con-
vinced was the Prime Minister by his own prior convictions, that the qualifications were removed from Blair's justification for war. No mention of these qualifications was made to the House of Commons. Instead, evidence that Saddam was a national threat was presented as "beyond doubt". Blair had a duty to be dispassionate when citing the evidence to the House; yet he was already convinced.
So emotionally-charged was his speech that he asserted weapons could be deployed in "45 minutes". The media leaped on this claim, greatly exaggerating the extent of Saddam's threat to Britain. Blair had a duty to correct these exaggerations, but, convinced of the case for war, had no incentive to calm the media storm. Media-sawy Blair, with ex-tabloid journalist Alastair Campbell as his right-hand man, cannot plead ignorance to the consequences of making the "45-minute" claim. He knew it would scream from the headlines. Its only purpose was to heighten the emotions of the public.
Blair recently stated that 9/11 was crucial in his decision-making process; it changed "the calculus of risk". We know that the 9/11 bombers had no connection with Iraq, yet Blair cites this as a turning point. Why? Because it made him believe that anything was possible. Saddam was no longer a worry, but a deep threat to national security. What 9/11 showed was not that Saddam was a greater imminent threat - but a greater hypothetical threat. The difference between these two is critical. It reveals that Blair wasn't motivated by evidence, but by an increased fear. He wanted to invade Iraq not due to solid evidence - this came later in his decision - but due to emotion.
The response is that when there is such a hypothetical threat to national security, when our country is teetering on the edge of nuclear destruction, it is impossible to be dispassionate. War is emotionally-
charged; while it would be nice to have unquestionable evidence, this is unrealistic; in such an uncertain world, we cannot afford to wait for 100 per cent knowledge. This may be true, but it is imperative that if we are to wage a war, we must have adequate justification to do so. The motivation cannot be fear or distrust, but greatly substantiated evidence. In a war with 150,000 Iraqis dead and four million refugees, the reasons for war have to be very substantial indeed.
Blair's secondary justification for war is liberal interventionism. It is never the official line, but the interview with Fern Britton betrayed the inner workings of his mind. He let it slip that, if he'd have known Saddam possessed no WMDs, "I would have still thought it right to remove him." Significantly, Blair added, "I mean obviously you would have had to use and deploy different arguments about the nature of the threat." It betrays the internal logic that Saddam was a Bad Man, and the West was right to remove him. The conviction for war, in Blair's mind, was undeniably entangled with all sorts of passions that Saddam was an evil dictator who ought to be removed.
Tony Blair started his career as a classical liberal interventionist. He thought the use of force was sometimes necessary to rid the world of greater evils. He showed this in his military interventions around the world, from Kosovo to Sierra Leone. He thought himself to be a latter-day Gladstone, injecting a newfound reverence for ethics into foreign policy. No dictator was too insuperable, no evil too unbeatable.
• A more appropriate comparison is with Lord Palmerston, however, a leader who favoured gunboat diplomacy over real diplomacy, who saw Britain's superpower status as a license to correct injustices. ; Counter to Gladstone's position that j international support was required,
Palmerston thought Britain was uniquely placed to intervene in humanitarian crises: the normal judicial routes sometimes have to be circumvented for the sake of the common good. Gladstone made the point that this gives any country the right to intervene in another's affairs - a disdain for international law renders it essentially pointless. Furthermore, one needs to be extremely cautious with respect to liberal intervention: an error in judgement, a miscalculation in the length of a war, the lack of an exit strategy - all will have devastating consequences. These criticisms may be applied equally to Iraq.
Tony Blair showed no hesitation in going to war without international co-operation. In Blair's eyes, Bush and he were fighting for the causes of good; Saddam was undeniably evil. The consequences of this simplistic worldview are that the reputation of liberal interventionism has been tarnished. The use of force is sometimes justified, but an improper wrestle with the arguments for war and the long-term consequences - in this case - has rendered liberal interventionism unjust, in the eyes of the world. The next time there is another Kosovo, be sure that the world will be less willing to intervene.
The reason why we should be angered by Blair is not because he lied over WMDs: it is his psychological state which is his flaw. The conviction that Iraq was to be invaded came first. The actual evidence and international law were secondary to this. The desire to invade came from emotions which derived from an all-too-simplistic worldview. The world was black and white. Blair and Bush were on the side of justice and liberty, ridding the world of all things bad and evil, and Saddam Hussein was a bad and evil. Simple.
Contrary to that old newspaper adage, simplicity too often proves deadly.
Leaving no room for debate
Anonymous
In response to the recent deluge of articles printed in these pages on Professor Kanazawa, I have here below my comment on the issue.
Kanazawa says:50% of Muslims throughout the world applaud the actions of their fellow Muslims on 9/11, and presumably other murderous acts against westerners, while the other 50% actively condemn them. Yes, 50% is only half, not a majority, but it nonetheless represents 800 million Muslims worldwide. If we assume that 50% of them are male, and about 30% of them are young (between the ages of 15-30), then we are talking about 120 million ready suicide bombers worldwide. It took only 19 of them to kill 3,000 of us.
I say: It only took one of "us" to kill thousands more of "them". Also, can I please view the survey from whence these numbers came? Because I'm sure they fail Assumptions 1 through 5 in Econometrics.
Kanazawa says: Of course, it is technically impossible to know for sure without actual survey data on other comparable groups within the United States. But that's precisely my point. Nobody would dream of asking black Americans "Do you consider yourself to be black first or American first?" Nobody would dream of asking Catholic Americans "Do you consider yourself to be Catholic first or American first?" That would be absurd, to the point of nonsensical. Yet it is not an absurd question to ask of Muslims, and indeed half of American Muslims (and four-fifths of British Muslims) do consider themselves to be Muslim first.
I say: Why is it absurd? Why not collect survey data on this matter? That's not too difficult to do. Go ask the black Americans and Catholic Americans,and any other "Americans! Then at least you'll
have something to back up your claims. Even the truth needs some sort of backing to support it.
Kanazawa says: These generalizations appear to hold for most societies, cultures, races, ethnicities, religions, and languages, except for Muslims. For them, being a Muslim appears to be an all-encompass-ing, all-consuming identity that overrides and trumps everything else. For them, nothing else - their race, their nationality, their occupation, their language - matters except for being Muslim, which unites all Muslims in the world. (True, most Muslims speak the same language - Arabic - but not all; neither Indonesians nor Chechens speak Arabic. Nor do Iranians.)
I say: Sorry? A Muslim identity? What are you talking about? Many Muslims still identify with their race, nationality, occupation and language. Ask a Muslim investment banker and he will tell you he is an investment banker. Ask an Indonesian Muslim and she will tell you she is Indonesian, who speaks Indonesian. Or are you confusing Arabic Muslims with
the rest of the Muslim world?
I know a lot of Christians, especially devout ones, who identify themselves as Christians first above anything else. It's just that majority of Muslims actually follow their religion and therefore carry the identity that comes with it, just like the devout Christians... It is definitely not true that all Muslims speak the same language. For those of whom Arabic is not their native tongue, they may learn to read it to recite the Qu'ran but they do not in any way speak it or have the ability to.
In short, I've come to realise that the major problem with evolutionary psychology is that, after learning Social Science Research Methods for Management and Management Evidence, the data does not seem incredibly solid. MN101 part 1 does not match with what we learn in MN203 and MN200 part 2.1 do not deny that the field of study is important in identifying that a lot of human behavior is innate, and that a lot (but not all!) of their discoveries make sense. But any sort of academic field needs to have room for debate, even
mainstream science where evolutionary psychology claims it belongs. Mainstream psychology theories do find themselves displaced at times, and even biology, physics and chemistry. So why not evolutionary psychology? Or is the rest of the field actually open for debate, but Professor Kanazawa isn't?
I'm not saying I did not enjoy his classes. I did. Like I said, there were some interesting insights. But a teacher should educate his students, encourage critical thinking and challenge them to think about the subject. He does not provide this for us. His book is law. What he says goes. This is the problem with Professor Kanazawa. He can say or write whatever he wants in my opinion, but in the classroom here at die LSE, he should try to teach rather than dictate. LSE should make sure that their teachers are doing what they should be doing: teaching. And that is the bottom line.
Demanding an answer from the Director
Election candidates
Howard Davies responded to questions in his usual evasive style during last Thursdays UGM, sidestepping potentially explosive questions in a witty and impressive manner. However, for all Howard Davies experience in answering tough questions from students and reporters, he was unable to sidestep the questions of angry students about the racist and Islamophobic professor currently under his employment, Mr Satoshi Kanazawa.
Howard Davies was asked on three separate occasions why Dr Kanazawa is allowed to teach at LSE, and on all
three occasions Sir Davies attempted to avoid the question by simply stating that individuals are entitled to the freedom of speech. While we support Sir Davies' assertion that all people have the right to free speech, we respectfully suggest that he has failed to answer the question. While Dr Kanazawa is indeed entitled to hold any opinion he so wishes, how can a man who propagates his views be permitted to hold a position of authority and responsibility at a diverse and respected institution such as the LSE? As Sir Davies failed to answer the questions put to him at the UGM, we will respectfully repeat this question once more: Why is this man on the LSE faculty?
Let us first assess some of Dr Kanazawa's contributions to world aca-demia. In a recent online article entitled "What's Wrong With Muslims?" published in Psychology Today, Kanazawa starts off by essentializing 'the Muslim' as a monolithic bloc, independent of all other identity markers. To Kanazawa the
Muslim is the exception in modern society in as far as, "for them, nothing else - their race, their nationality, their occupation, their language - maters except for being Muslim." Kanazawa goes on to claim that 50 per cent of all the world's Muslims are "ready suicide bombers". His evidence for such a bold claim? A small survey which found that 81 per cent of British-born Muslims identify as Muslim first and British second. Dr Kanazawa makes claims about a group as diverse and large as any on the planet on the basis of one survey, conducted in one country.
Unfortunately, Dr Kanazawa does not restrict his academic insight to commentary on 'what's wrong with Muslims' but instead grants society the benefit of his extensive knowledge and research of various other ethnic groups. Another of Kanazawa's poor attempts at academic work asserts that sub-saharan countries are in poverty, not as a result of years of exploitation and colonisation, but as a
result of the inherently low IQ. levels found in the individuals there. African countries are not poor because of poor leadership and centuries of colonisation by western countries, but because the people there are stupid. How did this never occur to mainstream academia before? Thank heavens for the academic input of Dr Kanazawa.
Any analysis of Dr Kanazawa's theories and assertions can lead a rational person to one of two conclusions, which each demand the same course of action. Dr Kanazawa is either an innocent but incredibly poor academic, or he is deeply prejudiced and allows this prejudice to impact upon his academic work. Whatever way you look at it, and we are inclined to take the more cynical view, Dr Kanazawa is not fit to teach at LSE.
Kanazawa is not just an outdated Orientalist, but an outright and unabashed racist. Our issue isn't with free speech. Kanazawa can have his warped ideology and spew his hate as much as he likes, but
as a respected and diverse university these ideologies affect the students that attend his classes. This ideology will undoubtedly have an impact not only on Black and Muslim students in his class, but all free-thinking and progressive students who do not agree with Dr Kanazawa's racist views. His ideas stand apart from the rest at LSE in that they directly impose his worldview onto the students he has classified as less intelligent or 'ready suicide bombers',
thus impacting equitable treatment from class debate to marking papers. We would not like to be a Black Muslim student in Kanazawa's class; in fact we wouldn't much like to be a student of any racial or religious group in his class.
We hope Sir Davies will be kind enough to publish a response and inform the students why Dr Kanazawa is a member of faculty at LSE, and why he is currently receiving money from students whom his work personally victimises.
10
2 March 2010 ! The Beaver
CH)N>v
Photos by Luna Niu Natalie Wong XintongLiu
COMMUNITY AND WELFARE OFFICER
Oliver Townsend
There for you, whoever you are.
Hero Austin
With the Community and Welfare role, we have a very broad new position. Consequently, I want to be careful to only promise policies that are both realistic and achievable. My key policies are, but not limited to, the following: 1. Get out there to students; don't make them come to you. Ideas include 'Office on the Street' and 'I'm a Sabbatical, can I help you?' T-shirts. 2. Start at the start with new students - head off welfare issues early and encourage participation from day one. 3. Information and communication - we should all know what's going on and what services are available, but often we don't - why? An improved website and a Union page in the Beaver are an important start. 4. Simplifying procedures - too many acronyms and jargon put people off, and create the sense of elitism. 5. Improving student mentors. The pastoral link is often missing from LSE. Mentoring happens naturally in the AU, and I think it's no coincidence that it has one of the best community spirits. 6. Accountability - Sabbs should have to respond to all emails within a fixed time period. Want to see more? Join my Facebook group, Vote Townsend for Community and Welfare.
BE A HERO, CHOOSE A HERO
Whatever the reason you came to this university, your place in the LSE COMMUNITY and the provisions made for your WELFARE have an enormous impact on your experience here. That's why I think that this job is important, and that's why I want to do it. We need to: *Strengthen and protect the LSE community* *Focus on student well-being and student concerns* *Take action on the environment and issues beyond LSE* How to do it? --Improve campus relations by expanding the Dialogue Commission --Increase information on mental health issues to help people deal with problems^ earlier. - -Install motion sensor lights in halls to save energy - -Establish a regular food co-op stall on campus that sells cheap, ethical ingredients --Work with the School's conferences division to stop them messing about societies - -Protect our students from expansion of the ID card scheme. And loads more. As a part time SU officer I've gained experience that has given me a good idea of how to affect change. I teach part time, have been a student mentor and have run many successful campaigns outside LSE. BE A HERO, CHOOSE A HERO, number #1 for Community and Welfare.
GENERAL SECRETARY
EDUCATION OFFICER
Paul Rees Jones	a-*,™
- My campaign will run on a three point plan, based on what is most important to
students: teaching, feedback and empowerment. Students want value for their money. This can be achieved through better standards of teaching. The methods used by the best teachers must be passed on to all teachers in all departments, ensuring that we have quality education across the board. We've got good teachers. Let's use them. LSEforYou's feedback system has come under fire, and rightly so. Its impersonal nature and inability to hold teachers to account have left students feeling confused and unsure about their academic progress. I propose an innovative system based on more than just impersonal drop-down menus. This will incorporate specific questions that guarantee useful, constructive feedback. Feedback should be more than just an essay mark. All these measures require student participation. Students' power to influence teaching must be dramatically overhauled. The current system is overly bureaucratic and it's time for proper scrutiny. An easy to fill out form will be introduced, making it clear to course reps and teachers what students want. Getting your voice heard shouldn't be complicated. Vote Paul Rees Jones - Policies for Students by Students. Have It Your Way.
3TOL £& X	Fighting For First-Class Education!
A SHOK TO THE SYSTEM! --Experience- - * Elected Academic Affairs Sabbatical Officer of Undergraduate University of nearly 50,000 students for Two Years. * Formed 2-year campaign which mobilized thousands of students against tuition increases. *Authored and organized campus-wide living wage which increased wages for over 10,000 Student Workers. * Became one of the Youngest Elected Officials in the US -Authoring and Passing over a Dozen Laws; with $500 million budget, affecting 500 thousand people. - -Major Goals-- * Less Bureaucracy -- More Democracy: Build, Organize, and Mobilize Students to fight for Change, Rather than Cutting Backroom Deals. * No More LSE Profiteering: Shift Administrative Costs to Expanding Teaching and "Ibtoring Opportunities for Students. * Fight for Better Rankings in the UK by pushing for prioritizing teaching excellence, improved student feedback, student-teacher ratios. * As an International Postgraduate Student I will bring voice to the historically underrepresented majority of LSE on crucial issues of postgraduate fees, research funding, and visa access.
Suraj Girijashanker
A diverse union. A dedicated leader
Your ideal Gen-Sec is someone who is experienced, approachable and proactive and that person is me. I am your International Students' Officer and the face behind Global Week 2010.1 was a former member of the Constitution & Steering Committee, Secretary of SPICE, Marketing Officer of Pakistan Society and the Refugees & Asylum Seekers Campaign Coordinator of LSESU Amnesty International. My involvement with societies on campus illustrates my passion and perseverance. I've interacted with students from various backgrounds and I am fully aware of students' needs. My key priorities include fees; top quality education; a visible and accessible Student Union; prioritizing LSE students, not profits; and campaigning against all forms of racism, homophobia and sexism. I aim to establish exchange programmes with universities so you can have a truly global education, and be prepared for a global career. I will push for joint campaigns to freeze home, international and postgraduate fees. I want to introduce online course reviews so that students are able to read feedback on the courses they would like to pursue. I will drive the LSE Student Union towards promoting unity in diversity and empowering action. That's why you should vote for SU-Raj. It's in the name.
Andrew Wright
THE WRIGHT CHOICE - THE RIGHT EDUCATION
Next year is a hugely important year for this Union, for higher education and for each and every LSE student. We need an Education Officer with the experience and determination to focus on the needs of students, represent our diverse community and campaign at the highest levels. Too often the School has been complacent on key education issues - no longer - 24% of students left last year unsatisfied with their teaching. Whilst fees are rising, teaching standards and support services are falling. We need to focus on ensuring students have the resources they need, the teaching they deserve and the support they require. We need a more visible Union that represents EVERY student, listens to their needs and fights to achieve them. I am the candidate to ensure this happens. POLICIES: putting teaching first, more accessible resources, resits, diversifying support services and careers advice, fighting the marketisation of education, support for postgrads and teaching assistants, clearer feedback and fostering activism. EXPERIENCE: Residences Officer 2009-10, RAG Committee 2008-2010, fought on fees in Parliament, led on innovative policy, active campaigner, sat on School committees and engaged with students. Vote for experience, ideas and determination. THE WRIGHT CHOICE TO MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD
Charlotte Gerada
Change here for a better LSE
I've had an amazing three years here at LSE. As RAG President I have organised inclusive events, inspiring students from all backgrounds, and raising over £24,000! However, I know this positive experience isn't shared by everyone: some feel isolated, some feel ripped off and others feel misrepresented. It's time for our union to be led in the direction that focuses on important issties that affects all students. My promise is simple: I won't stop until everyone's experience of LSE is as positive as mine. Education you can BANK on: * Ensure students are getting real value for their money; * Improve teaching quality; * Protect services from cuts; * Ensure consistency across departments; * Campaign for resists and against tuition fee hikes. Connecting our Community: * Unite our student body; * Improve social space; * More charity & volunteering opportunities; * Reconnect with postgraduates & international students. Getting us on the right tracks: * Better, more inclusive orientation period; * A Careers Service that caters for all; * More help developing soft skills; * Improve alumni links. I believe I have the experience and vision to lead this Students' Union. CHOOSE CHARLOTTE GERADA AND change here for a better LSE.
Dan Kacinski
A DIFFERENT WAY: KACINSKI FOR GENSEC
My name is Dan Kacinski, and I want to be your next General Secretary because WE DESERVE MORE from our student union. As both a Master's student and previous General Course student, I've seen just how great LSE can be. Yet many students, myself included, haven't found that they are represented by what is supposedly 'OUR' union. I've heard complaints from all levels - Grads who feel the union ignored their concerns after a disorganized orientation, first years who feel they are blocked from meaningful participation in student government, third years who are sick of internal union politics, and general course students who just feel ignored. Sabbatical officers earn 26,000 a year - I think for that price, WE DESERVE MORE than that. We need to REMAKE THE UNION FOR STUDENTS. It's time for: A UNION FOR ALL STUDENTS: Make it Easier for EVERYONE - FIRST YEARS through GRADS - to be heard! It's time for a UNION THAT WORKS FOR STUDENTS, not itself: It's time to END Divisive Union Politics, and focus on work that improves student's lives, including a push for LSE capital investment, Job & Visa assistance for all! VOTE DAN KACINSKI FOR GENERAL SECRETARY!
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LENT TERM ELECTIONS
ACTIVITIES & DEVELOPMENT
Charlie Glyn	Glyn it to win it!
Hi, I'm Charlie Glyn and I'm running for your (first!) Activities and Development Officer! Life at LSE has been what it is because of one thing (hint: it's not EC102), it's because of my amazing experience being part of the Student Union - whether that's because of its societies, being AU President or simply working in The Tuns. I'm so excited about this new sabbatical position because it encompasses everything that I would love to work on in the SU. More importantly, I know that I'm the best person for the job. My policies: ** Getting more people actively involved ** Societies and clubs working better together ** An approachable support system ** Creating THE BEST University Community ** Face-time! But to do this I need your help! The student experience isn't decided by people sitting in an office who don't even study here... IT'S DECIDED BY YOU! I pledge that all my efforts to improve LSE activities and their development will be because of YOU, for YOU, and more importantly, with YOU. Glyn it to win it!
AU PRESIDENT
Ben Robinson
Greater Inclusion, Greater Support, Greater AU
Greater Inclusion, Greater Support, Greater AU. Greater representation within the Students' Union. Create an official 'Sports Strategy', which would be developed through consultations with all clubs in order to give direction to sgort at LSE. Greater support and inclusion for smaller clubs within the AU: Introduce a club pairing system called 'Swaps' which would see different clubs spend time with each other. A review and upheaval of the current Budget Process. Create a simpler and fairer system to reflect the individual cost of sports. Introduce one to one budget meetings with all captains to ensure understandability. Greater promotion and presence for the whole AU. Work on developing relationships for an official varsity opponent. A new and ambitious social scene. Introduce Go Far Week, a week dedicated to promoting awareness of the AU across the whole student body
HamdiTalib
There are 3 things that I would endeavor to do. (1) Create a "Bridging Forum". The smaller clubs that form part of the AU will have a separate forum where they will have my personal and undivided attention to ensure their issues and qualms are addressed. (2) Budget. I am aware of the issues surrounding the budget and these issues surface I every year. I will look over the budget and endeavor to solve the root cause of the issues in an attempt to solve them for the long-term benefit of the AU. (3) Image of the AU. I will I strive to ensure that the people outside of the AU understand that the AU has been misconstrued. I aim to show that the AU is a social, friendly and accepting group of people who enjoy having fun. This is your opportunity. This is one chance. THIS IS IT! - VOTE HAMDI
ANTI-RACISM OFFICER
Ashwin Desai
LOVE ASHWIN HATE RACISM
I'm not an SU hack, never have been one and never will be one. But I know how to work with people to get stuff done on campus. IF ELECTED I'LL: 1) Campaign to force the school to live up to its Equal Opportunities policies, 2) Organise MASSIVE Anti-Racism events, whilst helping to maintain the inter-cultural collaboration that's done wonders on campus recently, and even 3) Organise a yearly Anti-Racism festival with Music, Comedy, Theatre and general FUN AND ANTI-RACIST FROLICKING!, 4) Bring the public fight against racism to campus, and last but not least, 5) Not Make Too Many Promises (because most people don't keep them anyway). We'll sort out racism not just through dialogue but by HAVING FUN TOGETHER! Sounds crazy, right? For detailed information on all of this, check my Facebook page, or come and have a chat with me! And don't forget: LOVE ASHWIN, HATE RACISM.
Ben Grabiner
KEEP LSE HATE FREE! VOTE GRABINER
*A MORE INCLUSIVE STUDENTS' UNION*: Our Union must innovate in order to provide for and involve minority groups on campus. I will use the Anti-Racism assembly to promote dialogue between the Union and students in order to find better ways to engage. \ m *STUDENT ISSUES NOT ¦ DIVISIVE INTERNATIONAL CONFLICTS*: I am fed up of the Union devoting so much time dividing students over international issues. Our Union should campaign on issues that affect LSE students NOT on distance international conflicts. *YES TO FREE SPEECH, NO TO HATE SPEECH*: Extremism and hate speech on campus harms and alienates many students. There is no place for inciting hatred and racism at the LSE. I will campaign against racism in all its manifestations. *MY EXPERIENCE*: Campaigned against antisemitism, islamophobia and the BNP. Ran a series of in-terfaith events on campus involving four faith societies and the SU. Worked closely with the LSE Dialogue Commission.
Mubbien Hayat
9000 students, 1 Union 0 Racism
II I am impartial, hard I working and approach-I able. If elected I promise —t0:. £nsure the LSE SU Equal Opportunities and Diversity Statements are upheld and adhered to-ensure that no student or group feels isolated and intimidated on campus -make the role of Anti-Racism Officer more interactive by holding weekly surgeries to deal with any immediate concerns-chair the Union's Anti-Racism forum every month on campus-organise and promote 'Equality and Diversity week' celebrating And Racism movements around the world-organise an LSE 'world cup' made up of national societies, the AU and the wider student body to promote greater cohesion and interaction on campus The LSE is a multicultural institution, and I hope to celebrate its diversity. 9000 Students, 1 Union, o Racism. VOTE MUBBIEN #1 FOR Anti- Racism.
Niam Aisha Hayes
Defendingyour rights, Celebrating our diversity
Every member of the student; body has a RIGHT to attend ' school free from alienation and victimisation. If elected anti-racism officer my goal will always be to DEFEND this basic right. I will promote racial harmony, here's how... DEFENDING YOUR RIGHT • Confronting ALL forms of racism head on. • Focusing time and energy on student led campaigns and events which combat racism and discrimination. • Fortnightly forums- including talk on external issues • We must work together discrediting the notion that there is ANY room for Discrimination at the LSE. CELEBRATING OUR DIVERSITY • Utilising LSE's reputation as a culturally diverse institution to get in contact with figures that have contributed to understandings of race relations. • Encouraging inter-societal relations by promoting collaborations in events. -Lending active support to Cultural/ Historical celebrations such as black history month. VOTE FOR NIAMH AISHA HAYES NO.i- DEFENDING YOUR RIGHTS, CELEBRATING OUR DIVERSITY
DISABILITY OFFICER
Polly McKinlay
#
Vote Polly for increased disability awareness
I am running for Disabled Students Officer and would love to have your vote! Dis-I ability is a wider issue than people think. Many students during their time at University will suffer from illness, sports injuries and mental health issues- all of which I will represent.I am 1 currently Secretary for Con-naught Hall, so have good experience of working in a team to ensure the demands of a student body are met. Main policies: 1. To ensure that any new policies on resits reflect the needs of those who suffer from illness during exam time. 2. To liase with the disability office, and make myself approachable to students so I can raise their concerns. 3. To ensure that all new and existing buildings conform to high standards of accessibility- including automatic doors. So please don't vote for RON, vote for me to help make LSE a better place!
ENVIRONMENT AND ETHICS OFFICER
Lois Clifton	Muhammad Sadiq Hannah Polly Williams
LOIS, FOR AN ACTIVE SUSTAINABLE CAMPUS
My aim is to grow an active and exciting environmental movement on campus.
This university is part of an international community and needs to be at the forefront of sustainability and ethical responsibility. I have clear targets and will strive to achieve them. My aims are-Move to ban the sale of bottled water on campus and look into excess packaging. -Look into which companies our university buys from and who invests in LSE, provide events on issues like corporate ethics, raising the profile of these issues. -To campaign for wind turbines on campus -To raise the profile of green issues and collaborate with others, in order to broaden the movement and actively raise awareness at every level of our university - To campaign for sustainable builds at LSE. I have passion for this issue and want too not only promote but implement positive change.
RESOURCES ARE SCARCE, THINK ABOUT SUSTAINABILITY
I am the Environmental Officer at High Holborn Residence. My interest for working on environmental and ethic al issues, made me run for this position. Previously, I had also campaigned on sustainability issues like "reduce energy use" and "switch off" campaigns. The campaigns on ethical issues include anti-racism campaigns, ensuring the reinforcement of human rights. This involves effective communication with anti-racism officers to ensure antidiscrimination. If I win this position; I would focus on a broader role. Communicating with the sabbatical officers is essential for designing new campaigns and events. The role of this position is basically campaigning to bring about change and awareness. It is also the responsibility, of this officer to help out general union campaigns.
Vote Hannah-Polly to LOVE THE PLANET
Heylo! I'm Hannah Polly Williams, a second-year undergraduate asking for your vote for Environment and Ethics Officer. As E&E officer, I would 1. Build-on the variety of successfid policies already in place, like the new roof garden. 2. Improve awareness and availability of clear information of environmental and ethical concerns, emphasizing the possibilities in these areas intensively in Fresher's week. 3. Establish new initiatives aiming to make LSESU a leading student-union on Environmentalism and Ethics, implementing full recycling facilities at every refuse point on campus, further promoting the sale of Fairtrade products in SU shops and campaigning towards a plastic free LSE. Utilizing my successful past experience being the Bankside Environment Officer and a Sustainable Futures consultant, I will be relentlessly hardworking, a true representative of the student body, approachable, and ever-the-enthusiast! Please support me and help LOVE THE PLANET, voting HANNAH POLLY WILLIAMS for environment and ethics officer.
INTERNATIONAL OFFICER
Waqas Shahnawaz Adenwala
JUST DO IT! VOTE FOR WAQAS
Michael Lok
The International Officer plays a significant role at the LSE. The problems faced by international students are various: Accommodation - I will fight to ensure that international students get accommodation in university halls. Visa woes- hampered by visa problems, I arrived at the LSE three weeks late. I will ensure that the visa letters are dispatched as soon as the relevant results are declared. Socializing within our own comfort bubbles - organizing events that unite us besides our nationality would benefit us all. I believe that my travels to nearly 40 countries have given me a global perspective that helps me in connecting with people from various backgrounds. At present, I am Social Secretary of Rosebery Hall; in high school, I was Head Boy. I am certain that I have the necessary qualifications and experience to represent an incredibly diverse student body at LSE. BE HEARD: VOTE for WAQAS!!!
There for you, Around the Clock
Michael Lok - There for you. Around the Clock. What I Will Do as YOUR ISO: 1. Support YOUR goals. CREATE an international assembly where you can give mandates and hold me accountable. DELIVER a Soaeties' Resources Comer where you can store your society materials. ENSURE better Connections and Opportunities with alumni groups. 2. Ensure YOUR welfare CREATE a team to provide summer accommodation support and advice for postgraduates. DELIVER monthly international food weeks at the Fourth Floor ENSURE working staplers at all printers on campus. 3. Celebrate OUR unique diversity. CREATE regular Overseas Cultural Trips-after all LSE = Let's See Europe DELIVER a Global Fashion Show ENSURE high-profile international lectures. My Qualifications: President, HKPASS Society,.MUN Officer, UN Society, British Council Global Changemaker, Former Chair, LSESU Constitution & Steering Committee, Speaks English, Mandarin, Cantonese, Spanish, French
LENT TERM ELECTIONS
13
WOMEN'S OFFICER
Saskia Baer
Believe. Act. Empower. Respect
We need to SPEAK OUT against gender stereotypes!!! I will Fight SIZE-ISM through campaigns on campus. Let's STOP talking about weight. Organise workshops and photo exhibition ofbeau-tiful women as they naturally are. Celebrate beauty that has NOTHING TO DO WITH MEDIA'S VERSION. Create SPACES IN BEAVER where students can send examples of gender stereotypical advertisements and where women can anonymously write about personal experiences of discrimination. Invite successful women: to talk about THEIR EXPERIENCES; to address DOUBLE-DISCRIMINATION that women of different cultures face. Hold REGULAR DROP-IN SESSIONS to speak to me one-on-one. ACCESSIBILITY. EMPHASIZE that offensive jokes and comments are UN-ACCEPTABLE. PUBLICIZE details of LSE's no-tolerance policy on gender discrimination. RAISE AWARENESS on women's issues such as equal pay, women under-represented in politics, harmful effects of prostitution. Encourage MEN to participate in events. BELIEVE. ACT. EMPOWER. RESPECT. VOTE SASKIA!
Emma Clewer
Emma Clewer: fighting for womens liberation
As an activist, I would strive for gender equality in the union. I have achievable aims which will raise awareness and create unity for all on campus, including: Challenge sexism on campus by s,' making women's rights a major issue. Fortnightly forums including issues in the work place and relevant sexual health campaigns for all, regardless of sexual orientation, giving all a voice against discrimination. Safer nights out at LSE - free cloakrooms and licensed mini cab cards. Providing drop in sessions and pointing women in the way of counselling if needed. Monthly pamphlet to improve communication and discuss issues affecting women and men on campus. Campaign against objectification of women on and off campus. Collaborate with societies in order to attract all students. I am a student who is passionate and active. Women's rights are a vital part of achieving equal opportunities at LSE. Emma Clewer: Fighting for women's liberation.
Maisie Neoma Jobe
EMPOWERMENT, REPRESENTATION, AWARENESS, SUPPORT, SAFETY, EMPLOYABIL-ITY
Vote for ME to be your women's officer, because I will make a practical and positive difference to every woman at LSE. EMPLOYABILITY: Female graduates are 15% less likely to get jobs than their male counterparts. I will combat this by introducing workshops focused on employability skills, CV writing and Public speaking. I will get our richly diverse network of female alumni in to give advice. SAFETY: Practical women's issues cross cultural boundaries. Give out more FREE safety alarms, condoms and drink spiking stoppers. POSTERS on the backs of toilet doors are a simple but effective way of making sure all women are aware of legitimate taxi and helpline numbers. SUPPORT and AWARENESS: Weekly coffee mornings and women's fortnightly bulletin to talk about issues and answer questions to ensure I'm VIS-ABLE at all times. Run stalls and awareness campaigns on issues that really affect university students, health, depression, violence.
LGBT
Emma Kelly
EMMA K FOR AN LGBT SAY
As LGBT officer I want a diverse community, at the forefront of fighting discrimination. My aims for my term will be to:§ Improve pride week; raising awareness of the LGBT community and maintain the high profile of queer crush § Have more events, especially with other societies, outside pride week highlighting issues facing LGBT community on and off campus. § Continue no platform for the BNP; no tolerance of homophobia at LSE $ Gender-neutral toilets on campus by the end of my term § Improve aids week with; information about sexual health and fundraisers for aids awareness § Improve the experience and provide support for new LGBT students § A weekly email working to ensure accountability, awareness of issues and communication between students and myself I have been working on political campaigns for the last two years. I hope to use this experience to champion the LGBT community.
Annais Nourry
Vite the lez, save the world
Having been an active member of the LGBT society and committee I believe I have the knowledge, drive and passion to be your LGBT Officer. My role as secretary makes me a familiar and approachable face to LGBTQ students and shows my ability to connect to individuals and engage with them, particularly through society emails. I believe I have been crucial to the society's success over the past year, and as LGBT Officer 1 would concentrate on three areas: *Welfare* Create a more extensive LGBT section in the Students' Union Guide. Hold weekly Office Hours.*Education* Hold educational talks surrounding issues such as, homophobia, marriage equality and faith. Campaigning* Work with London LGBTQ groups to form strong links of support. Campaign on national and international issues such as Uganda's anti-gay bill and the NUS 'Bullying Sucks' campaign. So come on, vote Annais #1 LGBT Officer and LEZ SAVE THE WORLD!
Reagan Persaud
LGBT President Reagan - Awareness, Welfare, Representation
The LGBT Officer needs to focus, on integrating LGBT students with the wider community. People need to know us as on a personal level before they know us as Lesbian Gay Bisexual or Trans. Get to know the person, not the preference. Only then, can we get them to rethink their views on sexuality. My Achievements: Currently President of the LGBT Society which has had its biggest membership ever. Ran first ever LSE Pride Week/Queer Crush Crowned MrMiss LSE 2009 My Aims To have a bigger and better LSE Pride Week and Queer Crush that involves more than just LGBT students. To run campaigns to tackle homophobia internationally. To promote a greater collaboration between the LGBT Officer and the LGBT Society to improve to the welfare of LGBT students. To build bridges between the LGBT community and faith groups.Vote Reagan for LGBT!
STUDENT TRUSTEES
Nik Adkia
Sam Tempest Keeping
NIK ADHIA - EXPERIENCE YOU CAN TRUST
As former High Holbom President, a current Governor and through my work with societies and the student body, I am confident that with my experience coupled with my passion for making a positive difference at the LSE will enable me to effectively help our union to progress forward. Policies: 1) Extend the budget for our societies, particularly to support smaller societies with limited access to alternative funding 2) Extend the project budget to enable students to create initiatives that encourages greater student interaction. Promises: 1) Greater transparency 2) Increased visibility and interaction of LSESU officers with the student body, particularly our first year and postgraduates 3) An open and approachable trustee dedicated to servingyour best interests. Experience - Charities (LSESU): 1) Managing Director - Student Comedy Hub (LSE campus - charitable comedy club) 2) Chief Compliance Officer - Social Enterprise venture. VOTE NIK ADHIA #1 STUDENT TRUSTEE - 'Experience you can trust'
jgBgmggm

"YOUR UNION IN SAFE KEEPING
Vote for me as your first choice for student trustee if you would like: |§* Someone who is not afraid to ask the difficult questions about how your Union is being run. * Better representation for postgraduate students in the upper echelons of the Union's hierarchy, in tandem with the paid part-time postgraduate officer. * An individual who has already proven their commitment to transparency and accountability by investigating the circumstances surrounding this summer's restructure and setting up a forum for student staff members' voices to be heard. * To see decisions being founded on a clear appreciation for the need to balance the short term concerns of students with the Union's long term goals. * Your Union in Safe [eeping. Sam Tempest Keeping: #1 for the Board of TVustees
¦
Michael Lok
Scott MacDonald
See manifesto for International Officer on pg 12
Mohammed Najmul Morley
Jack Tindale

PUTTING TRUST BACK INTO TRUSTEE
Impartial, Committed and Driven, Mohammed Najmul Morley is YOUR choice, the RIGHT choice for the Trustee Board!! As your Trustee my agenda is: * There must not be any communication gap between the SU and the student body. * SU's policies and strategy must be focused on one thing: students' interests!! * Increase awareness of the SU's activities and policies through the Media Group. * Many students feel they are not being listened to -1 will make sure that they are heard! * Decisions taken by the SU affect all of us -1 want to make the issues that matter to you be heard. I want to make the issues that are important be heard. Make Mohammed Najmul Morley your #1 choice for "IYustee Board and I will not let you down!
___
Trust in me - Vote for Scott
*** VOTE SCOTT MACDONALD #1 FOR BOARD OFTRUSTEES *** I have already spent a year on the SU exec, being legally accountable for the actions of the union. There must be unbiased accountability for all decisions made by the SU officials, elected and appointed. If elected I will make sure that: - Societies should be central to the SU long term strategy - Student views are heard when important decisions about our Union's long term strategy are being made - Commercial services should reflect the needs of all students - The trustees work with rather than against the exec and sabb officers. I believe I am in a good position to do this because: -1 have spent a year being a Trustee on the SU executive as LGBT officer -1 don't have an agenda - I stand up for what I believe in, even when it's unpopular.
FAIRNESS AND DEMOCRACY
Tindale for Democracy; This is an important year for the LSE, with the establishment of a new organisational structure, the Union has the potential to ensure collective responsibility and appeal to more students than ever before and it is vital to ensure that the students control the executive, not the other way around. As the current Chair of the UGM, I have experience of the one of most powerfid forums of any university and 1 want to bring the sense of fairness (and also fun) that I feel I brought in the role to the wider Student Union. As a prominent society officer, I have strong organisational skills that I feel would be paramount as a member of either the Democracy Committee or the Board of Trustees. Finally, I feel I am a friendly, approachable person who would be willing to ensure the best for all students.
DEMOCRACY COMMITTEE
Maira Butt
MAKING THE SYSTEM WORK FOR YOU
Vote MAIRA #l for the Democracy Committee! The Union needs someone who is honest, efficient and reliable. I am committed to uphold the Constitution fairly and properly. I have been involved in various initiatives to promote cohesion within society and within Unions. If elected I will ensure greater efficiency and transparency and make certain the independence and neutrality of the Committee is not undermined. Students need to be confident with the people who uphold the values of their Constitution. I will work towards restoring trust in Democracy and the Union. Making The System Work For You! VOTE MAIRA #1!
Adam Connell
Of the students, for the students
In the time I've spent at LSE it's become clear that many people's confidence in the SU is lacking. This needs to change. The recent controversy over the Reform Referendum has demonstrated the need for an effective, dedicated and incorruptible Democracy Committee. If elected, I will endeavor to make the Executive more accountable to the student body; keep you informed of and involved in the Democracy Committee's work and die decision making process; and to uphold the constitution at all times, even in the face of tough opposition. For a representative of the students, for the students, vote for me.
Katya Kornilova
Fair Decisions. Fair Union. Vote Katya.
As a politics student appreciate the importance of being objective in policy formulating. Impartial, not involved in any political campaigns, organised RAG hitchhike - Will be highly involved in the UGM and Democracy Committee but also will engage with average student to clarify any confusions about our union and its Constitution - As a ist year understand how Postgraduates and General Course students feel being unrepresented in the leaders of the SU -While years of experience and a political record might be valued traits in the past, the union is in need of motivated and passionate new leaders
Alex Peters-Day
LSE for who? LSE for you!
I'm a passionate, impartial and dedicated student, with experience of engaging with students through RAG vice-presidency, Rosebery hall presidency and membership of the AU and RAG. These positions and activities have enabled me to gain an understanding into the union, and have meant I have already engaged with students from a variety of backgrounds. Through the recent reforms, LSESU has a real chance to enter into a new more democratic, more engaging and more relevant union. To do this however we do need individuals such as myself, dedicated to providing an impartial, justified and rational judgment to all matters.
Alex Rodin
INDEPENDENT SINCE 1989
1. The democracy committee must not be hampered by a partisan political membership. I am an independent candidate without a political alignment or ideology. 2.1 will ensure that everyone will be given equal opportunities to make representations. 3. Every student no matter how new to LSE or how shy should feel capable of participating in the democratic process of the SU. I will make sure that students know how SU democracy works and what they can do to change life at LSE. 4.1 will ensure that the Democracy Committee upholds the SU constitution without overstepping its mandate.
Zachariah Sammour
More constitutionality, more transparency, more accountability
Vote Zachariah Sammour for democracy committee and help re-estab-lish the supremacy of the constitution. I am committed to ensuring that the SU is run in strict adherence to the rules that govern it. If elected I will endeavour to prevent any individual or group front compromis - . ing the fundamental law on which this union is built. I would bring to the position a thorough understanding of the role and of the governing documents. If elected I will fulfil my duties to the best of my ability and with the greatest impartiality.
PoojaThakrar
Benedict Sarhangian
Because George Wetz told me to
I am not AU, nor RAG nor superduper cool. I am, however, interested in retaining and enhancing the little credibility that remains in our Union. As a member of the Democracy Committee, I will ensure the Constitution is adhered to and that everybody, yes EVERYBODY, is held accountable to it. I won't pander blindly to the left, certainly not to the right, nor to those that sit upon high in the Kingsley Rooms. The constitution speaks for itself and for us, so please help me to reaffirm its position as the guiding light of our Students' Union.
Jack Tindale
FREE AND FAIR FOR ALL
With recent controversy regarding changes, the democracy committee should seek to represent the democratic principles to the highest standard. Proposals: Increase transparency with regard to SU Exec decisions, all voting procedures and ballots and a more accessible constitution. Provide a fresh face to the Student Union, filled with new and innovative ideas to help students get involved and increase the democratic process. Thoroughly revise the constitution, making sure all students understand all aspects of it. Along with the rest of the Exec, seek to make the electoral procedures clearer. Pooja Thakrar #1 to make your Student Union more democratic.
See manifesto for Student Trustees on pg 13
Why vote?
Lent Term Elections are an opportunity to pickyour leaders for the next school year. Students' Union officers do a lot -everything from representing students' needs on LSE's highest governing bodies to deciding how to allocate funding. Make it Your Union. Vote.
Where can I vote?
Students can vote online at http://elec-tions.lse.ac.uk. Voting will be open from 10 AM Wednesday and to 7PM Thursday. You must be in an LSE residence or on campus to access the voting system. There are no paper ballots. If you encounter any issues, please email returningofficer@gmail.com.
How do I enter my
choices?
You should rank candidates in order of your preferences, with #1 beingyour first choice. You can rank as many or as few candidates as you wish. You may also vote to Re-Open Nominations (RON) If you do not see any candidates that appeal to you in a given race.
How are votes counted?
When there is a single position available - for example, the LGBT Officer - the Students' Union conducts elections with Alternative Vote. When there are multiple positions available - for example, the Democracy Committee -Single Transferable Voting is used. Both systems operate in a similar fashion; they reallocate votes once a candidate has been eliminated (in AV) or elected (in STV). For full details on the voting systems, visit http://www.electoral-reform.org.uk/.
When will we know who won?
If you want to hear it live, the results will be announced on Thursday night in the Quad from 9-11PM. In addition, the Beaver will be live-blogging the events and full results will be posted on the LSESU website.
Chris O'Brien
Accountability, Impartiality and Transparency.
Vote Chris O'Brien #1 for an accountable, impartial and transparent Democracy Committee. As a member I will: -Use my legal experience gained through 1st and 2nd year law course to interpret and uphold the constitution -improve the efficiency of the UGM and vetting of motions -provide greater access to motions to all students for issues that matter to you. In particular I will: -publicise agenda ahead of meetings for greater discussion -publish meeting minutes -attend all UGM's arid meetings -be available and approachable for all advice about motions.
2 March 2010 | The Beaver
Scraping new heights
Ahmed Alani observes the nature and speed of architectural development in Dubai
As someone who has frequented Dubai from 2003, a time at which it was well into its gargantuan boom, I feel quite privileged to have borne witness to the growth of a city that can be said in the same breath as London, New York, Tokyo and Paris. Notably, though, it is the only one of these mega-cities that isn't itself a capital - that title goes to its now-formidable brother, Abu Dhabi.
Nonetheless, architects flocked to the lavish destination to aid in the creation of a city that was to be created purely for the rich and fabulous. Indeed, several years on, it seems only those in that category can realistically afford to make a second home or a permanent residence of a villa in the prestigious Palm Jumeira, a luxury residence in Dubai Marina, or a penthouse in the Mansion of Downtown Dubai.
Upon my first arrival in 2003, suffice it to say that I was awestruck by the buildings that greeted me. There was a succession of endless shopping malls that put our conservative Westfield London to shame, and towering skyscrapers like the Emirates Towers, nicknamed "the two lions" by the locals.
One of the most recent architectural
and structural developments of the city in recent years in the Dubai Metro. Created as a way to ease the standstill traffic, the Metro appeared to be a much sought-after solution to a problematic transport system, emulating that of its sister cities like New York. Based on Earth, Fire, Water and Air themes, the design of the stations themselves was created by the architectural firm Aedas, and appears to have drawn some inspiration from the smooth contours that characterise Zaha Hadid's iconic style.
Year by year, as I returned, I was stunned by the rapid pace at which these structures were erected. Having grown up in London and driven past the "Under development" sign for Westfield for more than a decade, I could not quite believe that such buildings were allowed to fly up in what seemed like a year or two. It seems that the only logical explanation for such speed is the absence of the notorious red tape that hampers building efforts in the UK. Complemented with the sheer size of the Indian workforce behind the building project, the growth seemed unstoppable. At the same time it also raised several issues, not least the numerous accidents that occured on these sites. Out of the 249
There was a succession of endless shopping malls that put our conservative Westfield London to shame and towering skyscrapers like the Emirates Towers
reported accidents in 2007, several are said to have arisen from safety violations and the lack of basic necessities on such as safety belts on the construction sites.
Each trip brought with it a new round of buildings, be it the telecommunications buildings or various hotels that sprang up on the epic Sheikh Zayed Road. This road, whose namesake is indeed the same as that of one of our NAB Lecture Theatres, is their linear equivalent to our circular M25, linking Deira to Downtown Dubai, Jumeira and the subsequent Media and Internet Cities.
This mammoth stretch of road played host to several uniquely designed hotels, commercial buildings and restaurants. However, as time went on, the individuality of the designs was lost, being replaced with homogenous glass towers, of varying hues of brown and blue. Gone, it seemed, were the days of the distinctive buildings of Dubai, such as the ship-inspired Etisalat Tower 2, the Sheraton Deira hotel, or the building for the National Bank of Dubai.
Now, not only does there appear to be a loss of originality in building design, but the once recession-proof city appears to be no different when it comes to
Hemk
falling prey to the economic downturn. With property prices said to have fallen by over 20% in 2009, there appeared to be a bleak outlook for the prospects of this once-flourishing city. There was no representation of this outlook quite as significant as the renaming of the world's tallest building. Initially christened Burj Dubai, a name that would receive international recognition, the tower, or 'burj', was renamed Burj Khalifa, after the UAE's president, at its inauguration on 4th January 2010. After the billions of dollars that the city received as financial bailouts from its neighbouring Abu Dhabi, it was perceived that the naming of the tower was a way of regenerating the confidence that Dubai needs so desperately, by letting the world know who is backing it.s
No such demonstration of backing, however, can shake the stark new image of Dubai's skyline. The work in a city that once housed a quarter of the world's cranes has come to an eerie standstill and construction has come to an alarming halt. At this moment in time, there seems to be no date as to when the machinery will start churning again, so the development of the city can rush forward once

i6
The Beaver | 2 March 2010
Features
Separately and supremely yours
Rebecca Care discusses the implications of the reforms to the judicial system
Lord Phillips, the newly appointed President of the Supreme Court, has several times pronounced the changes likely to ensue as a result of the courts opening to be ones of "form rather than substance." Is this correct? If so, would it justify the £77 million spent to create the new court, which opened for business on 1st October 2009?
The Supreme Court essentially fulfills the same judicial purpose as the Law Lords previously did in the Upper House, i.e. to act as the highest appeal court in the land, deciding upon legal issues of the greatest public or constitutional importance.
The impetus for separating the court from Parliament came from the 2005 Constitutional Reform Act. The Act seeks to uphold and define more clearly the roles of the judiciary, executive and legislative by separating the overlapping aspects of these bodies. It is argued that the new court will encourage greatef Scrutiny of the laws passed by Parliament and could, as Lord Neuberger fears, "lead to judges arrogating to themselves greater power than they have at the moment".
The introduction of a Supreme Court is one of many reforms laid out in the 2005 Act, all of which are interlinked. For instance, the more prominent and seemingly independent role of the new court will attract greater public attention to the appointment of its Justices. Correspondingly, the 2005 Act has completely reshaped
The (louse of Lords had been a source of concern to many observers with regards to its judicial and legislative powers
the selection process for the judiciary at all levels, with the introduction of the Judicial Appointments Committee (JAC) to establish a more transparent recruitment process for a more representative and diverse judiciary. The higher profile of the Supreme Court and its own attempts to make the system more transparent and accessible will arguably lead to greater public interest in the law. More challenging and diverse legal issues are likely to be put to court over the coming years as the demography of our society changes. It is hoped that a diverse and perhaps more independent judiciary will be better placed to determine the various issues rising in the 21st Century and beyond.
The House of Lords had been a source of concern to many observers with regards to its judicial and legislative powers. The establishment of a separate court, away though not very far from the hub of political and legislative action in the House of Lords, will help to alleviate this. The role of the Lords who serve as Justices in the Supreme Court is more clearly confined to that of a judge, and the majority of their rights as peers are surrendered. This will lead to greater public confidence in the independence of the judiciary, although some commentators have attempted to dismiss the entire exercise as an instance of 'New Labour window dressing.'
The new building's interior, which has a modern look featuring glass, marble and wide spaces, perhaps intends to convey a more transparent and open approach. The
Commentators have attempted to dismiss the entire exercise as an instance of'New Labour window dressing'
Court is currently hosting an exhibition on the role of the Supreme Court and has a clear intention to invite the general public to come and see the changes that have been made. One can openly listen to an appeal in progress from the public galleries, which are purpose-built. This is in contrast to the previous committee rooms from which the Lords operated, which seemed less open and accessible to the general public.
The introduction of a Supreme Court in the UK can be seen as an inevitable consequence of the process of modernization - a response to the ever growing demand for greater scrutiny and democratic accountability, part of wider constitutional reforms affecting the UK. The creation of the Supreme Court represents an opportunity for enhanced judicial independence, but the question as to whether the changes are truly ones of "form rather than substance" as Lord Phillips has suggested, remains to be seen. History suggests that changes in 'form' that promote greater independence can act as a catalyst for substantive change. Judicial interpretation is a key aspect of the common law system and any step that encourages greater independence of the judicial process at the highest level is likely to bear fruit, often with unforeseen consequences. As David Cavender, a Barrister at one Essex Court eloquentiy puts it, "It could all go off in another direction."
¦r»£.
Features
17
2 March 2010 i The Beaver
A burdened conscience
Marie Dunawaj speaks about the "lost children" in the orphanages of Romania
December marked the 20th anniversary of the end • of Ceausescu's regime in Romania, a communist dictatorship which had lasted nearly 25 years. Yet despite the collapse of communism in Romania and Eastern Europe, a huge legacy was left - that of over 300,000 orphans. Romania's orphan problem was one of the largest and most publicized of the second half of the twentieth century. They have become known as Romania's "Lost Children."
The problem had arisen due to Ceausescu's 1966 Decree which called for women to have at least four children before the age of 42 to overcome Romania's then low population and birth rate. Ceausescu therefore banned contraception and abortions, as well as making divorce and separation practically impossible. Consequently there was a huge swell in population and poverty, with many women unable to support themselves, seeking backstreet abortions or just abandoning their children. It brought about a huge strain on Romania's state structures.
A major condition of Romania's acceptance into the European Union in 2007 was that it would tackle the problems left by the old regime. The situation was critical when international humanitarian agencies entered Romania in the early 90s, but a BBC undercover report last year and an Amnesty review show that the problems have not been eradicated even now. In fact, now new and difficult challenges are facing Romanian society.
The original orphanages, especially in
urban areas of the country, were overstretched. Some of the most famous images that reached Western television screens were of orphans tied to iron bedsteads, ignored, except for minimal attention so to be fed. The medical and childcare professions were over-worked, with inadequate training, resources and staffing to look after the children. Many children lay in their cots in their own faeces for months on end, unwashed, distressed and ill due to their surroundings. Gangrene was rife, leading to an increase in the prevalence of disability with limbs having to be amputated. Mental illness and depression was widespread due to mass institutionalization and lack of mental stimulation, with many children unable to speak or socially interact in their formative years. Homemade strait-jackets were made to stop children harming themselves out of frustration, and sedatives were freely administered even if not beneficial to a child's health. One of the largest problems was the use of blood transfusions as health supplements. Sharing needles was widespread, causing the number of cases of HIV and AIDS to rocket.
Children's orphanages, as opposed to adult facilities, were the first to improve, such as that of the notorious Cighid Orphanage in northwest Romania. Foreign aid and the efforts of new directors, in the case of Cighid, Dr Pavel Oarcea, led to many improvements. However, it is those who were not adopted, especially those bom disabled, who were die biggest victims of the regime and are still suffering its consequences.
It is those who were not adopted, especially those born disabled, who were the biggest victims of the (Ceausescu) regime and are still suffering its consequences
Adoption and fostering children born with disabilities was very rare, especially after the Romanian government closed international adoption in the mid-gos. Now late adolescents and adults, they have been moved from orphanages to adult facilities. The government estimates 20,000 adults are in state care, but admits that due to lack of data this could be more. The European Union injected 100 million Euros into Romania's institutions to improve the lives of these unclaimed adults. However, the BBC undercover report last year found many were still confined to beds in overcrowded institutions. The dormitories often smelt of sweat and urine, and the patients lay under-dressed, in tatty clothes, without the basics of shoes and socks. Trench foot is still rampant, although easily avoidable with simple investment. Staff running the homes say they don't know the names or ages of new arrivals, admit to lack of training and have no methods to check illnesses like hepatitis. Repetitive behaviour is a common symptom of institutionalization and poor stimulation, where it has been common practice to leave patients in a bare room with a television on full volume. The suburban and country institutions rely on charity handouts for the basics like heating and clothes. Medical and legal professionals have said this is a clearly a breach of humanitarian legal standards.
Even for those without disabilities, life has been hugely difficult. Due to numbers and resources, once children reached eighteen, they were left to fend for them-
selves. Many have had little education or skills so are unable to find work, have limited social experience and no money. Large numbers are homeless, sleeping on the streets or by Romania's huge warm water pipelines. Some have turned to alcoholism and drugs, and prostitution and trafficking is common for funding essentials as well as addictions. Sadly the sex trade is also adding to Romania's HIV and AIDS problems.
Of the European Union's total HIV/ . AIDS victims, 80 per cent of those carrying the virus are Romanian. Romania still has one of the highest rates of abortion in Eastern Europe. The Romanian government claims that these recent reports are not representative of their care system and has assured that "the most appropriate frame is in place in order to meet human rights in this domain."
These "Lost Children" have been neglected, subjected to appalling conditions and isolated from society. However, charity and aid organisations say their lives could be drastically improved with the resources and help to assistmany to live independently in society, aided by specialist support:*
Romania still faces some of the older, but also^a new web of more complex challenges. Twenty years may not be long enough to see the major social and cultural transformations necessary to bring the country to the level of its EU neighbours, but unless Romanian and European governments tackle this issue soon, Ceausescu's terrible legacy will be burdened to a new generation.
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The Beaver | 2 March 2010
Features
Visual arts at the V&A
Ben Phillips discusses the transformation of the museum with Sir Mark Jones himself
Sir Mark Jones is not a man who strikes you as effortlessly charming. Walking into his study in South Kensington is like entering an executive suite inhabited by a imposter; the old curator from the British Museum crossed with a bureaucrat. He is sitting at his desk, punching keys into his Blackberry for at least two minutes while my colleague and I wait to interview him, like two children sitting in their parent's office. When he switches on, it is obvious he has perfected the interview manner: the eye contact, the firm handshake, the on-the-record verbosity, the patrician accent. He asks for tea, if she'd be so kind, and his secretary brings him green tea in a modest mug.
It has been nearly nine years since he was made Director of the Victoria & Albert Museum, and Sir Mark Jones' tenure has been credited with transforming the museum into a design-focused, populist enterprise. Visitor numbers have doubled to over 2 million, and I asked him what he had done to transform the place.
"Well, I think I was lucky in the timing of my arrival because six months after I arrived the V&A opened its new British Galleries, which were extremely well received - and rightly so. At the same time, thanks to the government, the V&A was able to introduce free admission, and that made a huge difference, both to the number of people who came, and also to the relationship between the V&A and its public. I personally think that did a huge amount to transform the atmosphere of the museum, and I think that one of the pleasing things is that when we ask people whether they enjoyed their visit, we get
extremely good rates of response". He goes on to say that he feels that the V&A is a nice place to visit, with a friendly and tranquil atmosphere which people appreciate, which is true.
The V&A, unlike most of the other great galleries of Europe, was not a royal or personal collection of works, but rather as a comprehensive collection founded for intellectual reasons.
"The interesting thing about the V&A is that it came into being as a practical solution to what was seen as a real and pressing problem. And the problem which a Select Committee of the House of Commons addressed in 1836 was how to do something about the quality of design of British manufactured goods. Right from the beginning, the Museum was made up both of copies of great works of decorative art from the past, for example Raphael's designs for the Vatican Loggia; and also examples of contemporary work brought to London from continental Europe and elsewhere. In 1851, the Great Exhibition demonstrated that there was potential for huge popular interest in contemporary products and design. What was conceived of what became the V&A was twofold: to provide inspiration for those involved in the world of design, and to sensitise the public to the visual choices they make."
The V&A's new Medieval and Renaissance Gallery opened late last year to near universal acclaim. The Director explained that the thought behind this was to bring together what he states is one of the greatest collections of Medieval and Renaissance Art in a single suite of galleries. Ideally, this will show the works of art as beautifully as possible so as many people
Sir Mark Jones' tenure has been credited with transforming the museum into a design-focused, populist enterprise
as possible can enjoy them for their own sake. The Museum has also tried to place the objects in context, so that people can learn from the galleries and read from them a particular and perhaps different vision of the past.
He remains unrepentant regarding the criticisms levelled against the V&A; that it is dumbing itself down with the display of exhibitions like Grace Kelly or the Supremes, while hiding traditional meat and potatoes fare like its extensive collection of musical instruments. This at the same time that the V&A is receiving such plaudits for its new Medieval and Renaissance Gallery.
"I don't think that's strange at all. I think that it is absolutely normal, really, that people will hold a widely varied range of views about any particular institution at any particular time. Where the musical instruments are concerned it is heartening, of course, to know that large numbers of people place a high value on the V&A's collection of musical instruments, as we do ourselves. It is perhaps puzzling that the Musical Instruments Gallery was so little used over the last few years."
When asked direcdy what his reply would be to those who show such fervour in wanting to retain the current display of musical instruments, he repeats the fact that he feels heartened that people care about the collections the V&A holds. Having said that, he is of the belief that it is those who know the V&A the least and see it less often, that have in their mind's eye one plastic image of the place. Those who know it best will know refurbishment and removement, like the new Medieval Gallery, happens all the time.
"I think, without wanting to be unkind, that what is rather indicative is the slender use that has been made of the musical instruments gallery. The people who are most vociferous in their defence of the status quo aren't sufficiently in touch with the reality of the Museum to know that, of course, there is a rolling programme of refurbishment which will necessarily entail the movement of collections and the closure of galleries."
It appears this is something of sore point for the Director. Fashion exhibitions are not about what is popular. It's great if they are popular, apparently. The shift towards showing fashion, if there is one, is one of the principal ways in which the Museum engages a wider public in the core purposes of the V&A, which is to get thereto think, and to enjoy thinking about questions of visual choice. And that's absolutely at the heart of what the V&A does.
"For people to say that it's some random act of dumbing down simply haven't understood what the V&A is about, and why it does what it does."
It could have been put a little better, but surely doubling the number of visitors in 10 years has got more to do with Mark's vision than removing admissions charges. The Director has apparently found the Holy Grail of London's world class museums: increasing visitor numbers and returning to the original intentions with which the institution was founded, without turning it into a theme park for tourists.
LSE Diaiy
Features
19
2 March 2010 ! The Beaver
Mill
the Gunpowder plot hadsuceeded?
Election Candidate
The destruction of the Houses of Parliament by the Catholic conspirators led by Robert Catesby would have resulted in far more deaths than that of King James, Queen Anne, Prince Henry and the MPs and peers unlucky enough to have been caught in the blast. The attempt by the plotters to capture the infant sons of the King would always be doomed to failure. Despite this, it is very likely that the wave of anti-Catholicism created by the regicide would render the atrocities seen in our own timeline as relatively benign.
Charles Stuart would have become King at the tender age of four. Like his father, he would no doubt have been brought up a strict Protestant. Taught by his tutors to despise the papists who had killed his martyred parents, he would most certainly not have become the Anglo-Catholic that he developed into during his childhood. Thus, the English Civil War would not have occurred in any remotely recognizable form. Instead, his sympathetic regents and later the King himself, would feel justified in ensuring the eradication of Catholicism from Great Britain. The evangelical Presbyterian that Charles would have become would be assured of far more popular support from the Scots. Therefore, with the Catholic powers of Europe limited in their response due to common sympathy, the purging of "papist elements" from the mainland would be very likely, as would brutal repression in Ireland, perhaps led by troops under a different Yeoman than Huntingdon.
Therefore, rather than the gradual development of parliamentary democracy, the Stuart dynasty would have developed into an absolute monarchy akin to that in Sweden and dynastic ties would have been created accordingly. Married into the Protestant powers of central Europe, Great Britain would have been involved in the great wars of religion far more than she was in our own Thirty Years' War. It is difficult to predict the effects that this would have on the British constitution, but it is possible that, without reform and with power vested in a single figure rather than parliament, a popular uprising may have resulted in the toppling of the hypothetical King Henry X in around 1750.
A true "British Revolution" rather than the coup d'etat headed by William III, would be a natural result of an absolute monarchy. Indeed, without representative democracy of some description leading to the enlightened attitudes that produced Adam Smith and John Locke, the development of Britain as a global power would be limited. In addition, without the English Bill of Rights 1689 resulting from the Glorious Revolution, future revolutionaries such the American Rebels would be far less open to democratic ideals. The world-spanning British Empire may not have come to fruition, with Britain remaining the nation she had been under the Tudors: a great naval power perhaps, but not a superpower. India would most likely become a French colony, Spain would retain her dominance in central America and Paris would rule over a vast swathe of North America from Nova Scotia to New Orleans. Rather than the Anglophone dominance seen in our timeline, the 17th and 18th Centuries would belong to the great powers of the Holy League.
Bi-partisan politics at the gallows
Bi-partisan politics is a key feature of what is known among political scientists as the 'Westminster model'. The 'first past the post' electoral system for parliamentary elections in the United Kingdom is, in short, responsible for this particular political dynamic. The way in which votes are counted up ensures that only two parties will earn significant representation within the House of Commons, one of which will naturally have a majority. Because there is no need for agreement across parties in order to pass a bill, this scarcely ever happens. Any debate essentially becomes channeled in the mindset of "them against us".
Most academic essays agree that the alternative consensus model-one of coalitional governments- leads to better
policy results than its divided alternative. For budding democracies, a system which works on the basis of the opposition of a sole party against another is considered as dangerous, and rightly so. Countries which do not have a democratic tradition, and within which ethnic separations run deep, can only suffer from institutions which enhance these rivalries.
Despite these qualms, the United Kingdom has been held up for centuries past as the model of a well functioning democracy. The question of reforming the count of votes, however, have become more prominent since New Labour's arrival in government. Devolution to Northern Ireland, Scotland, and Wales has experimented with different voting systems, introducing what is known as the Single Transferable Vote (STV), and
results from the European Parliament elections accounted for via proportional representation.
Additionally, the epitome of the Westminster model now finds itself on the brink of having to cope with an election outcome which will require compromise and coalition building. Left-leaning newspapers have this week been highlighting the ever-growing probability of a hung parliament-a case where the leading party has not enough seats to secure a majority- occurring in the upcoming elections, which are predicted to take place on May 6th. The Conservative's lead is narrow; according to BBC reports at the time of writing, nearing the 2 per cent.
What would happen in the case of a hung parliament is an interesting matter. To the contrary of what most of the
electorate believes, the Prime Minister can only be removed from office only when it is clear that there no longer exists a majority capable of supporting his position. If this procedure was thus followed, this would give Gordon Brown an advantageous opportunity to form a government in cooperation with the Liberal Democrats, and hence signal the fall of bi-parti-san politics in the United Kingdom. ^
Marion Koob Features Editor
Measured musings
elections, taking away "electioneering" from elections is like taking away cheese and wine from the French. It is just not possible. And all the more revolting in the context of our Students' Union. (That being said, that giant bean can was pretty cool, though it represents the bane of my ensuing Union existence).
As a (wannabe) journalist, however, elections provide much fodder and excitement for the media. Perhaps this is because the media, righteously or maliciously, believes that it can influence the outcome of elections - and rightly so. Every little stumble, every stupid thing David Cameron says, every little accusation thrown at Gordon Brown and every minute change in the polls from now till June will undoubtedly be lapped up by the British media. As elections represent the cornerstone of every democratic society, a free press able and willing to report and comment on every twist and turn is surely a good thing. Even if their claws go in a little too deep sometimes, the ability that the media in this country has to hold those in power to account is surely an essential right.
Perhaps what I have to say next will sound contrary to my general distaste of electioneering and the senseless mud-slinging we witness leading up to an election. Mid-last week, I filled up the
most exciting form I have ever had the chance to behold in my life. I registered as an overseas voter in the upcoming General Elections in Singapore. It is the first year that I have actually been eligible, since the voting age is 21.1 completed the form, printed it off, put it in a little envelope; all sealed and ready to make its way back to Singapore where I would be officially authorized to vote in the high commission in London.
I did all this, however, with full knowledge that I will not be able to exercise that vote. The first Prime Minister, founding father and current Minister Mentor of Singapore, also known as the legend that is Lee Kuan Yew, leads the Group Representative Constituency (GRC) in which I belong. Since we've had elections, there always has been a walkover in my constituency. My parents, in their five decades of life, have not been able to cast a single vote in any general election. In the fourteen GRCs in Singapore, less than six or seven are contested. And even fewer produce an opposition win.
Election time in Singapore is a little like a game of whack-a-mole. Opposition parties and candidates try to pop up from political oblivion, only to get their little heads smashed by the ruling party, whether literally or figuratively. The media, rather than being blood-thirsty
for any screw up on the part of either the ruling party or the opposition, frequently prints pretty stories about huge turn outs at rallies of the ruling party. And the opposition? Well, what opposition? It doesn't even come close to the flurry along the corridors of Westminster or the cheesy campaigning on Houghton Street - how could it, with an opposition that is flailing and struggling to even be noticed, let alone taken seriously.
Perhaps this unfamiliarity of a vibrant political culture explains my aversion to dirty political games and pre-election mud-slinging. Though, objectively speaking, all those Facebook group invites and the endless accusations hurled across the floor in the House of Commons would eventually get on anyone's nerves. "He has no real policies!" "They've screwed up the country!" Rinse. Repeat.
In the coming week, I will register to vote as a citizen of the Commonwealth, in the upcoming General Election in this country. I will also, in my role as Editor of the Beaver, be covering Lent Term elections extensively. It is strange to think that I will have a far bigger say in determining who leads this Union, and more importantly, who leads this country, than I ever will in my own country.
The art of electioneering
Shiban: It * * ^ cannot wait to watch the campaigns unfold and cast her vote
Last Wednesday, I was lucky enough to witness live the political Punch and Judy that is Prime Minister's Questions. The screaming, jeers, snide remarks and even the occasional discussion of serious issues such as the presence of British troops in Afghanistan reeked of a common undertone - elections. Sitting in the House of Commons, if, like in one of these TV-show themed drinking games, I had to have a shot every time I heard the word "election" or had to down my drink at any blatant sign of electioneering, I would have been whisked off to A&E for alcohol poisoning by the time we were halfway in.
The same fervour will soon hit Hough-* ton street with an intensity like no other. With much lower stakes, but a sense of purpose that seems far more noble and is definitely far more in-your-face, I find (these lauded weeks in SU politics more nauseating than any national general election. Cheesy electioneering and slogans with "witty" plays on names is not quite my cup of tea. "Hie efforts and will of all candidates to even be part of leading this Union forward in the wake of everything that has happened in the past term is definitely commendable, and elections are no doubt hugely important in deciding the future of our Union. However, as in all
The Sportively Unfortunate
Amber Willows on the social dangers of physical fitness
The happy domain of sportive games has always hadits gates closed to individuals of my capacity: the unfortunate ill-motivated. I shall here attempt to relate whether exercise in conjunction with social interaction is necessary, and the way in which a history of coordination catastrophes may influence further relations with other sports.
My previous school prided itself for its wide-ranging, high-performing, team-spirited sports program. In the years of middle school (ages 12-15), a class of forty-five minutes of Physical Education (P.E.) was compulsory every school day. The torture was inevitable; the only question that remained was when it was to occur. I would reason to myself patiently. An early morning class would mean it would be done and over with. If scheduled late in the afternoon, I could almost imagine that it never had to happen.
Going to P.E. class meant having to cross the campus, glumly dragging a sports bag along, towards the grimy changing rooms in the basement of die gym building. School changing rooms are by their nature repellent places. The combination of smell, suspicious dirt and forgotten clothes brought me to near nausea every single time I entered. There was room for imagination in wondering how long that t-shirt had been lying around on the edge of the bench, absorbing the ever present sweet-sour aroma of perspiration which hung permanently in the air. In short, I was rather delicate in my hygienic sensibilities at the time.
Our sports uniform was unisex: marine shorts, and a white t-shirt bearing the school logo. Having to wear a white t-shirt
at some point every day provoked a necessity for a supply of white bras. Overlooking these colour-matching details in the morning could result in deep preoccupation throughout the class, and if noticed, significant embarrassment.
A typical session was usually uninteresting, occasionally traumatic. In team games, my peers quickly understood that the best strategy, if burdened by my presence, was to prevent my participation. This did not comprehend any grand and cruel scheme; rather, it took the form of a passive and complete ignorance of my existence. I was most willing to comply; in sum, we all agreed on one crucial point; coercing me to sportive action was an abhorrence.
On the other hand games which mandated participation, such as volleyball, were more socially dangerous. I earned desperate cries from all sides of the court, from people who had quite correctly assessed the extent of my ability. One day, a friend decided to take revenge by howling out a love declaration to the member of the opposite team a spilt second before he sent off his serve. Despite the fact that the technique (bizarrely) worked, the coach was far from amused.
Returning to the changing rooms afterwards was a happy temporary escape. I had expiated my punishment of the day.
My frustration towards the concept of physical exercise as such was so great that I decided around this time of my life to take up Taekwondo. Being able to train individually greatly helped. However,
this was setting aside the numerous and inevitable awkward moments in a class which principally consisted of hormone-driven boys twice my weight and taller
by a few heads. A few such occurrences included unfortunately aimed kicks, collapsing while holding up a training mat while others took their turn hitting into it and making up the words to count to ten in Korean.
Judging that this was still not enough, I began to attend Aikido trainings as well. This took a calmer approach to the concept of defence. Yet, using a katana to practice the various ways of dodging sword hits felt part paranoia part Last Samurai. In addition to these invaluable (but fun) skills, I also learnt how to count in Japanese. (Please note; now in two Asiatic languages).
Finally, my career in combat took a sharp end. I no longer stood the aggressive frame, the heavy dobuk, and what felt to be pointless tension. In addition, I had reached a high enough level to move on to competitions, which I disliked, and the fanciful activity of breaking piles of bricks by hits of the hand. Watching peers doing so was amusing enough, but I was far from ready to risk breaking my hands in two for the sake of a gleeful parental audience.
I ended at a happy equilibrium between yoga and the gym. Neither involves interacting with anyone, and that is well to my liking. Exercising does not have to be a social activity, nor a means to compare one' self to the performance of others. Despite still often dreading the moment at which I will be compelled to make an effort, I am fully aware that my body will turn sluggish and woozy without. It is undeniably a good form of alarm. Beyond my moans and groans, I inevitably find myself dragged to the treadmill.
The Anti-Procrai
Mazida Khatun discusses students wl
Slavery is not dead
Cui Yin Mok believes some rights are universal
Ask any person on the streets these days what "slavery" is, and chances are they'll mutter something or other about "Africa" or "colonies" or, if you're on a more politically-aware street (such as Houghton, perhaps?) you may get a mention or two of the Transatlantic slave trade.
Ask them again if they think "slavery" still exists, and you might be surprised by how many people think slavery is a thing of the past. I wish that were the case, but I'm afraid I have to break the news to you: slavery is not dead.
Numbers are hard to pin down, but estimates suggest that there are between 12 million to 27 million people in the world trapped in situations of slavery, be it bonded labour, forced servitude, forced prostitution, child labour, worker abuse, or
human trafficking.
The International Organization for Migration estimates that each year, 700,000 women, girls, men, and boys are being trafficked across borders away from their homes and families, and into debt bondage, prostitution, or other forms of forced labour. An estimated 300,000 children are currently being exploited as child soldiers in areas of conflict across the world, and many of the kidnapped girls amongst these child soldiers are also forced into sexual slavery. The International Labour Organisation also estimates that there are at least 9.3 million trapped in situations of forced labour within the Asia- Pacific region alone, most of whom are in debt bondage.
Fifty years ago on 2hd December 1949, the General Assembly of the United Nations adopted the Convention for the Sup-
pression of the Traffic in Persons and the Exploitation of the Prostitution of Others. The second day of December each year has since been marked the International Day for the Abolition of Slavery, a day for people to commemorate the triumph of humanity and the end of the Transatlantic slave trade as we remember it, but also a day to remind ourselves that our work is far from over, because slavery is just as much a reality today, and that something can be and needs to be done to stop it.
Many people assume that slavery disappeared when nations all over the world criminalized slavery, but the truth is, slavery has only gone underground and reinvented itself to make it seem a lot more justifiable. Most people have heard about child soldiers and sweatshops and human trafficking, but the idea that slavery still exists — and that there are more
Have you known someone at the LSE who wakes up at the same time every day, sets off to the library at the same time, allows themselves a short break at lunchtime almost like clockwork and is to be found leaving campus, bleary eyed at the exact hour that you saw them leave only the other day? If you haven't met this species of LSE student, then you must belong to it.
Those disciplined to this timetabled life try not to feel bad about their relatively lackluster efforts at studying, but it is difficult to maintain any optimism when they encounter people with minutely formulated plans for the ten years ahead - a feat even beyond Joseph Stalin and the might of the USSR. These driven individuals know exactly what their next five steps will be. Although I am inclined to believe that I am better off being open to whatever life brings me, most people I know who my conception of the 'homo structuralis' seem rather happy with the way they are. They still manage to have fun, but it is organized fun. Even when they procrastinate, they do so in a productive way.
Professor John Perry of Stanford University has written an essay about Structural Procrastination and he believes
that he suffers from this 'problem'. In fact he credits his essay to this syndrome (if I can even call it that). If only we could all come up with an innovative theory every time we were in need of some distraction from the mundane! Although he believes that we are all procrastinators, he posits that structural procrastinators differ from us mere mortals because they divert their attentions away from the important, but towards other missions.
We seldom do nothing at all when we are procrastinating, but do fall into the trap of doing things that are of no use whatsoever, such as logging onto Face-book or watching old box sets. However structural procrastinators need to deceive themselves into believing that they are only putting off completing the most important tasks on their lists to take care of other duties. In doing so, they are still productive. Professor Perry gives the example of how he ignored a stack of essays that needed to be marked in order to go and play ping pong with some undergraduate students on the campus. At first glance, this may not seem very structured at all. He continued to go and play with these students and he gained a reputation for being a 'Mr Chips' like figure, and became well liked in comparison to other profes-
The idea that slavery still exists - and that there are more slaves today than ever before in history - remains a shocking one
slaves today than ever before in history — remains a shocking one, mostly because it is hidden away from the eyes of those of us who don't know where to find it.
Some reflexivity here, for the benefit of those who remain unconvinced about "human rights". My own education in anthropology has taught me to question the universality of "human rights", to wonder if a supranational organization's decree of what humans are or deserve has taken into consideration the cultural specificities anthropologists are so passionate about, and if not, vyhether it is right that these definitions are applied across the globe in the name of "justice".
But whilst the universality of human rights cannot and should not be assumed, surely, some things are indubitably more universal than others?
Surely, we cannot and should not
21
2 March 2010 | The Beaver
OVERHEARD AT LSE
Halls last year:
Guy tells joke.
Girl: "that's not a joke, jokes have to be interesting and funny."
Guy: "Well that's not true, because you're a joke and you're neither interesting nor funny."
Chinese Society stall on houghton street
Chinese Society representative: "Buy an engraved fan for only £3, with your name engraved."
Passerby: "That's alright, I got The Economist for £3, and use it as a fan too..."
In the email to EC201 students:
"there was a typo in the penultimate slide, the Cod War example"
Person 1 farts.
Person 2: "This is just unacceptable that we have to suffer your negative externality whilst you don't have to bear the cost."
Person 1: "Well the air is free so I can
fart as much as I want." •
Person 2: "Well the government should
own the airspace to stop your polluting
actions."
Person 1: "Well I would just buy the rights to fart in a rights... auction, and it would be the most efficient way and you would still have to put up with my farting."
Person 2: "Fair enough."
EH101 Lecturer: "It is far easier to kill a one-year-old than it is to kill a two-year-old"
In libary, reading:
Person 1: [suddenly] "He's so CLEVER!" Person 2: "Who?"
Person 1: "Hobbes!"
Julian Le Grand (former policy advisor to No. 10) public lecture:
Man in the audience: "Didyou ever... get the feeling., that Tony Blair was mentally ill?"
Girl remarking to boy who has revised her paper: "You are so good - you've corrected things I've pretty much plagiarized!"
Kingsway: "It was my first sober hookup in the library. It was good!"
titration
indulge in productive time-wasting
A family affair
Saira Rasheed shares her university experience with her brother
1 always saw my brother in a different light before I came to the LSE. We hardly ever had anything in common; I have always been very laid back in comparison to him. There had always been a rivalry between us, him being the only son, and has always been pampered by our mother. Little did I know that ten years later I would be joining the same university that he graduated from.
As soon as I received my acceptance letter from the LSE, I wasn't entirely happy about it. University life was an experience that I had imagined to be a source of independence far away from home. Coming to London and living in close proximity to him was not my definition of'far'. I didn't want to come and get stuck with an overly protective brother who wouldn't fully let me experience university life.
However, these past two years have been a completely different experience than I had expected. Being an international student in a brand new place can be very hard as I have seen amongst my friends. Bouts of homesickness are very common and at times one feels as though one has made a big mistake in leaving home for the sake of better job prospects. At the same time, it is very easy for one to get caught up in either the hectic university life or the night life of London. Surprisingly I never faced these problems. I have had his support throughout in every way. Having a sibling attend the same university has proven to be very helpful academically and socially. Helpful to the extent that he even told me how I couldn't completely count on the teaching at the LSE!
I didn't want to come and get stuck with an overly protective brother who wouldn't fully let me experience university life
We have both been able to cover the age gap between us by living in London together away from the family environment and by sharing very similar university experiences even though he was never the party animal that I am! I have begun to know him better as an individual rather than the brother who always used to boss me around for not paying enough attention to my studies. He is much more open minded than I had pictured him to be and has let me take my decisions on my own. I have been given the space I would have had even if I ended up in some other continent of the world. But the biggest advantage has been of having a source of family in a place which could become quite isolated at times. He has been supportive when I miss home and my parents, and especially on occasions such as Eid and Christmas.
Having a sibling who went to the same university and who lives in the same city hasn't been a completely disastrous experience - besides when I lie to him about working when I am actually out at a party, of course. I have been in much more control of my actions knowing that someone is watching over me. There have been no issues of tattletale and he has spoilt me to a greater extent than my parents ever did. Above all, I have had a completely different university experience tp the one he had, one that I get to relate to liim on a daily basis. This has strengthened our relationship and we have become even better friends. I have realized that things can turn out quite differently than expected and it is not embarrassing to have an old brother in the same city. In my case it has proven to be quite handy.
condone our fellow human beings being treated in ways we would not want to be treated: to be bought and sold like cabbages and cattle; to be held against one's will; to be drugged or raped or beaten into submission, amongst other forms of repeated physical and psychological abuse; or to be forced to work for little or no pay, and to be expected to live in constant fear and at the mercy of so- called "employers".
I am not convinced that we should accept without question, and do nothing in the knowledge that all over the world there are men, women, boys, and girls being exploited, abused, and treated as less than human, by someone else who happens to wield more socio- political or economic power.
There are many ways you can help fight modern day slavery. Find out all you can about it. Spread the word. Sign up for
mailing lists and events. Volunteer with groups and organizations that deal with human trafficking or slavery issues. We may be a long way from it, but I believe that slavery can be ended.
Remember: the worst thing you could ever do is to sit back and do nothing.
LSESU Amnesty International Society, ICCSN (LSE Chapter), and LSESU Anti-Slavery International are collaborating together for LSE's first Human Rights Festival this week. For five days there will be panel discussions, film screenings, career talks, letter-writing marathons, and more. All events are free of charge and open to everyone.
sors who were regarded as not having much time for undergraduates.
A friend of mine once attended a ten week -series of workshops-on how to overcome the problem of procrastination and she said that it became evident that' there were two reasons why people procrastinated. The first of these was the fear of failure, and the second was, strangely, the fear of success. We can all figure out why a fear of failure may lock us into a chronic avoidance of important deadlines, but it seems counter intuitive to procrastinate in order to shun success.
However, Dr Joseph Ferrari actually thinks that whether we are afraid of failure or success, both of these issues are based tfpon what others think of us. And yet, the homo structuralis who can be found in the library's fish tank fears procrastination. Who can blame them when it seems apparent that procrastination is a state of mind which we have to constantly justify with the excuses of'this needed to be done anyway' or 'I'll do that as soon as I am done with this'. Some will argue that this is a symptom of modern society or capitalism, because we carry the burden of the idea that we must constantly be useful, or adding bullet points to our CVs.
The real problem is that it makes us
ill. back to Dr frerran, who tells us that over just one academic term, procrastinating students compromise their immune systems and become more susceptible to common colds. He also found that people can suffer from insomnia, despite the fact that the guilt over the low productivity has probably drained them of energy. The cure for this, according to the Doctor, is highly structured cognitive behavioural theory. Is that really what we {ieed; more structure?
Well, maybe it is. Routines are not unhealthy unless they are too rigid to allow any space in the day to relax. It is very possible that we do need to be re-pro-grammed to believe that it is acceptable to not be useful or industrious for a short while, and then we would maybe also feel 1 less inclined to procrastinate as often as we take a breath. Often the most resilient structures are those which we construct in our minds and can become almost pathological. So whether you are fortunate enough to be a structural procrastinator, capable of turning avoidance into an art or whether you are reading this article to distract yourself from a pile of books, you deserve a break I think.

*¦
22
The Beaver | 2 March 2010 %
Treasure!1
LatifBaluch
My 2 years at the LSE wouldn't have been as amazing if it wasn't for the AU! I will ensure that everyone will have as good a time as I've had on and off the field.
Budgets:
•	I will support the President, other Exec members and all the captains in making the budgeting procedure easier to understand
•	I will spend as much time as possible listening to ALL captains and try to understand their needs. By doing this I can really assess the budget distribution and set budgets according to the needs and not solely based on size.
Funding:
•	Due to the great variety of clubs which
make up the AU I think it is very important as the Treasurer not to treat all clubs the same.
•	As it stands membership fees are standardised at £10. I'll make membership fees flexible. Giving clubs the ability to maximise revenue and attract as many new members as possible
•	EXAMPLE, a smaller upfront payment for freshers at the fayre, and if they've got what it takes, they'll then pay the B. A.T (Banter Added Tax).
People that say money can't buy you happiness .... Don't know who to vote for!
P.S. I'm just a really nice guy
VOTE LATIF BALUCH, Turning Money into Banter.budget so you know exactly where the funds are going.
Contact Beaver Sports
sports (a) thebeaveronline.co.uk 02079556705
Sport
AU Executiv
Lewis Jones
As Treasurer, my role is simple; efficiently manage the funds of the AU. However,
it is the manner in which I will carry out the task, that gives rise to why I should be voted into the position.
Behind the scenes, everything asked of me will get done, simple as that. No question, no issue, no problem. I am a perfectionist who won't let things go, until achieved; this attitude concurrent with an infatuation for the AU, will ensure that all respective finances will be monitored and maintained at all times.
I would establish good communication amongst all clubs of the AU; big and small. Lending ears to every request, I would ensure to conclude with a mutual outcome for each party involved.
I have 1 serious goal for my tenure, and that would be to implement 'team debit cards' controlled by the captains for travel on away fixtures. It would eliminate the current inefficient method of reclaims at the end of term, and stop that £5 all-day travel card bumingyour pockets each week! Budget so you know exactly where the funds are going.
Katerina Soulceras
The piggy bank of theAU
In my two years as a member and Club Captain of Woman's rugby, I've had a brilliant time as a part of the AU. It has been a vital part of my LSE experience, which is why I am passionate about ensuring that the AU continues to develop.
As AU Treasurer I will:
1	Be fair in the way the budgets work so that all clubs get what they deserve.
2	Make the budget process as clear and as easy as possible.
3	Set up a system whereby clubs can access their budget information via email.
4	Reform the membership fees to encourage more people to join smaller clubs and to create more income for some of the larger clubs.
5	Search for more sources of income for both individual clubs and the AU as a whole.
6	Through the use of the new financial report, increase transparency in the AU budget so you know exactly where the funds are going.
Jonathon Saville
I promise that if I become AU Treasurer I will put everything I have into improving people's sports club experiences. If voted in I plan to:
1	Work more closely with sports clubs to work out their needs and how we can best satisfy these. At the moment many clubs seem worried about altering the status quo and because of this often request a budget very similar to the one produced the year before. Clubs should be encouraged to question previous budget allocations.
2	Streamline travel expense claims. Currently, claiming back expenses for travelling costs is confusing and time consuming. Because of this many people end up not claiming their costs back. I aim to make the process quicker and more straightforward.
3	Subsidize club social events. These often come at the end of each term when people are running low on funds. A subsidy would make these integral team bonding events more accessible to all members. As my dad Sir Jimmy once said, 'now then, now then, how can I fix it for you?' If you vote for me as your next AU treasurer
I will see to it that next year is your most enjoyable year yet.
Read the manif the ambitious p the gimmicky s make your vote
Norayr Ardavast Djerrahian
My name is Norayr Ardavast Djerrahian, and like my name I am a handful! If my Mummy (or more rightly so, midget wrapped up in toilet paper) look at the Hustings didn't' impress you, then I'm hoping this modest 'manifesto' of me and my ambitions will do the trick, and VOTE ME, also known as Blueboots, NOZ, Eyebrows and Pavarotti, as your Liaison Officer. At the night of Hustings, I had no intention of running for this role but the watchful and prowess eye of Nadir 'GO HARD' Gohar (currently a member of the AU Exec.) realised my oozing potential for the prestigious job, and I was dragged on stage. I have realised now, the vitalness and importance of the role.
Being of Armenian Greek origin, born in London, with a Dutch passport, I am very familiar with the art of communicating between a diverse range of people and clubs, which the AU is proud to be. Liaising has always been a special talent of mine, and I promise that I am the best at it. I have been told many times that no one can liaise better than me, so I'm not even lying! Norayr Ardavast Djerrahian for Liaison Officer.
Club Liaisons
Dewi Hall Evans
Aerobics, Badminton, Basketball, Capoeira, Cricket, Darts, Football, Golf, Hockey, Jiu Jitsu, Karate, Kite-surfing, Lacrosse, Mixed Martial Arts, Netball, Rock Climbing, Rowing, Rugby, Running, Sailing, Skiing, Squash, Surfing, Table Tennis, Tae Kwon Do, Tennis, Volleyball & Yoga - these are all of the clubs within the LSE Athletics Union. As you read this list, I am certain that many of you will not have known that the LSE offer such a wide range of sports and activities for its student population. In addition, many of those who are members of the smaller clubs of those listed above will not consider themselves a part of the AU. I believe that this is not right - every member of every society should feel welcome within the AU and feel proud to be a part of it. If elected, I will do everything in my power to make sure that this is the case. I strive to create a united AU through communication, cooperation and commitment.
Kate Strivens
I do actually want to do this.
More events outside of Wednesday night hosted by different sports needs to be encouraged more, like the Lent speak-easy hosted by Ski and Kite surfing.
Wednesday night needs a facelift, with freshers and minority sports being encouraged to join in the fun, especially as we have seen a distinct lack of them this year.
Having spoken to the new members of the Pulse exec, they definitely want sports to have a bigger presence next year, with sports reporters and more coverage of our AU, this would be a great opportunity to get club captains to encourage their members to get involved in this.
Termly newsletters to club captains to keep tJiem updated on events for the AU and successes of sport clubs, especially as there sometimes appears to be a lack of knowledge of what is going on and what other options in sports are available to take part in.
Finally, respect of the AU needs increasing across the whole of uni. We have a great range of sports and opportunities available and this needs realising more to people who may not necessarily realise that the AU is not just about drunken Wednesday nights.
Xisco
tells it like
Because Jonas has child support paymen
This week the dynamic duo has been split up as Jonas had to return back to Peru to visit his 4th wife who has given birth to a child; they have named him Paulo Kahlua Crowler Westoph. Strangely, Jonas has been living in London for over a year, so a miraculous conception must be the only answer.
A proverbial storm in a teacup erupted in the Beaver office this week, as lewd allegations of biased reporting were bandied around willy, nilly. The individual in question was Beaver Sports' very own H. Dyso who had refused to disclose her vain attempts to knock down Alex Casino's house through the medium of coitus. When interviewed for this very column after the event in question, LSE's own Charlotte Church refused to disclose the previous night's events. However after the sterling work of a secret informant who can only be named as "Mr. Scrooge" we can now reveal the full extent of the debauchery.
Reminiscent of a scene from Saving Private Ryan, a 'tank' that even Tom Hanks wouldn't have been able to stop powered through everything that she holds dearest. Apparently the ever susceptible Dyson was wooed when the man in question
pointed out to her a palindrome of epic proportions; that 'woman' spelt backwards is actually 'kitchen!' Obviously a lover of palindromes, Hannah then submitted the rest of the party-going population to sounds that evoked memories of Stalingrad, for over 7 hours. As for Wednesday night Rajeretnamramnam had to call in the assistance of cheekay chappy Latif Ballack to remove SuBo from the equation so that he could re-use his test bunny for his ongoing product appraisal technique.
Unfortunately, Wednesday night was actually so uneventful that the eternally energetic Jake Mulcahy could not even stay awake. This, coupled with the revelation that our main source does not divulge everything that she knows means that a new segment must be added this week. As a fierce advocate of helping others, Xisco, who himself was once a vigilante in Peru under the pseudonym El Diablo, decided this segment must be designed to highlight one person each week who has strived to help and aid other human beings in their own time and often in the face adversity and danger.
Sport
23
2 March 2010 | The Beaver
Communications
Secretary
estos, digest olicies, discard lagans, and count!
Events
Polling opens: Wednesday, 10AM
Polling closes: Thursday, 7PM
Do it!
Manifestos
m
e
It IS
ts to catch up on...
Xisco's Hero of the Week
This week's hero is none other than FC legend and all around good guy, Joseph Watson. Most know young Watson, dubbed BJ (which actually stands for bo-hater Joe, the Polish for hero Joe); however most do not know what he gets up to after night descends on foggy London town. Donning his most indie attire he patrols the rooftops searching for criminals to apprehend and people to save. His actions have not only led to him being knighted and given the freedom of the city, but to be nicknamed "The Albatross' by local police authorities. Interviewed for the piece, Watson said: "It all began when I helped an old lady across the street when I was around 7years old...I remember thinking, wow, this feels great. The sense of achievement after helping someone or stopping a crime is truly wonderful." Being a local hero does not come without its punishments however, as Watson confided that he has developed a terrible case of'pump bump' and can never hold down a relationship, scared that he may get seriously injured in his escapades. Nevertheless, thanks to Joseph Watson the people of London can feel safe in their beds, knowing that a true hero is ready to protect them.
Joseph Watson
Hello, my name is Joseph Watson and I'm writing to tell you why I should be your new AU Communications officer. Always willing to speak my mind I will not shy away from both saying and doing what I think is right and communicating your views and concerns effectively. Smaller clubs are the backbone of the AU and I feel it is finally the time for their views to be aired. Working with the media is an integral part of the AU Communications officer's role; fortunately I have copious amounts of experience in this area. Writing a weekly column in the Beaver coupled with work experience at the BBC, while also producing a weekly Pulse radio show ensures I will slip seamlessly into the position. Furthermore, the AU Hangover show will improve exponentially. Finally I have a perfect Wednesday night attendance and love the lash like Hannah Dyson loves cock.
I PROMISE:
•	TO COMMUNICATE WITH COMPASSION AND BANTER
•	TO ASSIST SMALLER CLUBS AND DIVERSIFY AU EVENTS
•	TO DEVELOP AND EXPAND THE SPORTING OPPORTUNITIES AT LSE
•	TO BE ON TOUR AT ALL TIMES Make sure to check out my promotional videos released daily until election.
Matthew 'Boca' Box
ACTUALLY want to be AU Events Officer: (if you want your Events officer to have great core strength, look for a well seasoned, athletic; 4th team netballer.....in my opinion)
AIMS:
I aim to work for subsidised drinking and entry for all future AU events wherever possible in order to ensure that money isn't a barrier to enjoying yourself at any AU Event.
Party in the Park: Don't have it 4 days into Freshers week - before, not after Wednesday night.
Pub Olympics: This would be the introduction of a new event, previously piloted the last twoyears by Rugby. The gist of it is, drinking games/challenges with an Olympics spin on it.
Varsity Fixtures: I will investigate the possibility of varsity fixtures for all sports, where we can get together a big crowd and play under the floodlights - and stuff some Polys.
Other Societies' Events: People such as RAG continue to host great events (AU Wax, Pub Crawl, People Auction) Whilst the AU often plays a big part in these,
good events are sometimes missed. I hope to fix this by working closely with the Comms officer and presidents of such societies.
Rhiannon Edwards
I'm running for AU Secretary and am asking for your votes and support!
As Netball Club Captain this year, i've experienced how much time and responsibility it takes to run one of the biggest clubs in the AU. Next year I want to take it even further and be involved in the running of the AU and finding ways to ever improve it.
As the role of Secretary is not one of policy making I have no policies or manifesto, yet I believe this role is crucial to the efficient inner workings of the executive. I think i'ld be great because i'm organised, punctual and even though i'm Welsh I can write in English rather well. Blatantly aslo have better chat than malibu and better thighs than Josh.
I'm really serious about this role and want to be a part of the AU exec next year so please please please vote for me next Wednesday!!!
[osh Olomolaye
And the winner is... j dot my man! Speech!!
The Roc Boys in the building tonight Oh what a feeling, I'm feeling life You don't even gotta bring ya paper out We the dope boys of the year, drinks is on the house
God bless, oh yes, and once he goes im next.
And I ain't trying to be the REST Replace the R and throw me a B.
a wise man told me persevere to elevate me in my career.
My credit don't crunch, my swaggers insane.
No blue suede shoes,just my Adidas trainers but I'm still rock and roll For all the ladies out there...
My Room Is The G Spot,
Call Me Mr. Flintstone,
I Can Make Your Bed Rock.
Now superbad chicks giving me mclovin, you would think I ran the world like mi-chelles husband
I'm, young J.O., rap's Grateful Dead Back to take over the globe, now break bread
It may not mean nothing tyall,
understand nothing was done for me so I don't plan on stopping at all I want dis shit forever maaan
Megan Protheroe
o Introduce a rotation system where all clubs get at least one chance to co-host the Pulse Radio Show.
o Work harder to make sure ALL results are printed in the Beaver.
0 Encourage an increase in the range of clubs that write articles for the Beaver, o lGreater AU presence at Fresher's Week: Increase AU advertising in Halls of Residence and in the Welcome Brochure to make it easier for clubs to attract Freshers o Improve the AU section of the SU website. Give eveiy club a chance to develop their own section of the website. I feel this is a great way for ALL clubs to advertise their club especially to fresher's, o An e-newsletter: Sent to everyone each month - a great way for every club to promote and advertise events e.g. Dance could use it to promote shows or Aerobics for their classes.
After 2 years of playing for the extremely athletic 6th team Netball and as the current Netball Social Secretary I feel I have enough experience to be a successful communications officer and would love to help improve the AU.
I do intend to run for the position of AU events officer... My policies include...
1.	As promised, to introduce a jelly wrestling tournament. Clothing optional, in rag week.
2.	To promote equal opportunities within the au by making baywatch an event for all sexes, of all clubs.
3.	To make the loss of nadir gohar's virginity an au sponsored event.
Lots of love,
Jazmine Bradfield
Ps. If you don't vote jazz... You're a racist!
Jazmine Bradfield
* m t
Just in time for voting, Manifestos!
Karate team excels again and again
Sam Mir
The LSE wa$ represented in force at the Southern Regions Sho-tokan Karate Championships held in Crawley on 13 February 2010. And once more the team emerged victorious and did the University proud with an impressive haul of medals.
Shotokan is the most traditional of karate forms practised internationally. Competitions focus on kata (set forms) and kumite (fighting) and all those competing for the LSE, who ranged in grade (belt) levels from novice to advanced, competed in both.
In the individual kata rounds Sam Mir, Velin Djidjev and Colin Spurway produced a number of focused and impressive performances, all reaching the semi-finals of their respective categories. Sam and Velin were then led by Sensei Dario Ghazi in the team kata event, where the team performed in perfect unison the explosive and powerful black-belt kata known as Bassai Dai. With characteristic determination and poise Sensei Dario led his kata team through to the decisive final round, where the team took 3 silver medals for the LSE.
In the kumite rounds the LSE's team excelled yet further.
The women fought with dogged strength and determination. Notwithstanding that it was their first championship, the two novice belts, Nataliya Shynkaryova and Christelle Pengratis fought particularly well. Both posed serious challenges to their higher graded and more experienced opponents, pushing the match to a draw and forcing an extension into extra time where they only narrowly lost out on proceeding to the next round. Their team mates, Irina Kraicheva and Giorgia Marchiori, displayed similar determination, fighting hard and pushing their opponents all the way.
Rewards were reaped in the team kumite event, where the combined efforts of Irina, Nataliya and Giorgia earned the club another-3 silver medals.
The LSE men showed themselves equally able. In their respective individual fighting events Sam, Velin and Colin deployed skill and strategy to comfortably defeat opponent after opponent in the elimination rounds. Sam destroyed
the opponents with his powerful and fast kicks; Velin showed the magic of his quick hands and Colin hustled his opponents with fast combo punches. LSE fighters proceeded confidently to the finals. Sam emerged with Silver, as did Colin (his first medal in an open kumite competition), while Velin took Bronze.
With only an evening's rest the LSE team arose early the next day for the London Karate Cup and put in yet an another impressive performance, deploying very naturally the resilience and commitment which their coach, Sensei Ghazi, has very carefully cultivated during the last few months of training.
The club was represented by Sensei Dario Ghazi, club captain Sam Mir, Velin Djidjev, Ardavan Ghazi and Karen Dolph. All returned from the tournament with a medal. In total the club secured a further 5 medals - 2 gold, 1 silver and 2 bronze.
For the LSE men - Dario, Sam, Velin and Ardavan - the competition started with the male individual kata event. The first to perform was Dario, who gave a superb performance of the technically challenging kata Unsu, demonstrating his incredible strength and depth of experience. The scores were unbelievably close, putting Dario third in a very tight final. Sam and Velin came next, each performing solidly and placing 4th and 5th respectively, narrowly missing out on the podium action. Ardavan Ghazi, the youngest and most novice member of the LSE squad, showed himself intent on living up to the performances and examples of his more advanced peers, notwithstanding that it was his first tournament. Ardavan performed all of his katas with spirit and strength, going all the way to the finals, where he took silver. He displayed the same motivation in his individual fights, where he showed a superior ability and awareness of strategy in each match, winning all of his fights with a combination of fast punches and kicks and eventually defeating the favourite in his category to take the gold.
Sam and Velin's successes continued in their individual fighting events. Each of their fights served as a platform to show the skills they had so carefully honed during the preceding months of training. Both deployed impeccable strategy, defeating each opponent quickly and
efficiently, whether by fast and timely counter punches, explosive and unstoppable attacks or perfectly placed kicks. Velin narrowly lost out on a medal in the quarter final. Having achieved spectacular victories in his first two bouts, wowing the audience with scores of 8:0 and 8:1, Sam went straight to the semi finals where he narrowly lost the match but took another bronze medal for the LSE.
The last event for the day was the team kumite. The LSE team had three members - Sam, Velin and Karen. This was yet another chance for them to demonstrate their abilities, which they did magnificently. The team marched to the finals, dispatching stiff competition along the way from members of national team. In the final, Karen was unsuccess-
ful, but Velin took his match with a score of 7:5. The score was now one win to each team and all eyes looked to Sam, who did not disappoint. Cheered on by the excited audience Sam started comfortably with a couple of kicks. His opponent put in a great deal of effort trying to turn the match around. But nothing could stop the LSE captain. Sam took the match 8:6 with a succession of sharp punches to the head, leading his team to gold. Sensei Dario Ghazi coached and encouraged from the sidelines, clearly proud to see another incredible performance from his students.
With a total tally of 17 medals in one weekend, the LSE team showed once more the dividends of their hard work and dedication in training, under the expert guidance of Sensei Dario Ghazi. "I'm
quietly confident that the experience and adrenaline from these competitions will inspire the team to even greater things in the months ahead", said Sensei Dario.
Whatever happens, the LSE Karate Club clearly has a reputation to protect. With impressive successes at the Students' Nationals late last year and the Southern Regions and London Karate Cup this year, much is expected of the club in the months to come. Watch this space!
The LSE Karate Club trains in the old gym on Tuesdays (8PM), Wednesdays (6PM) and Fridays (6.30PM). Beginners are always welcome, as are experienced karateka. Forfurther information go to www.lsekc.org.uk.
Inside:
Hockey Cup run tour
Dan Steene & Luke Davies
We hockey lads have long been in a club on the DL (down low), lacking the unwarranted arrogance and suits of the Rugby club or the millions of members Football have. Also our new found pre-lash at Temple Walkabout in search of King's gash means you won't see us begging the singing thing at the Tuns. However, not only can you find most of us out in Zoo bar blind drunk on a Wednesday night, but our on-field exploits are finally beginning to justify our off-field banter. The men's is are currently sitting 2nd in BUCS Division 3b and are top of ULU Division 1 (with a staggering 34 goals scored in 3 games), but so far this season has been about two words and so it shall be with this article: Cup Run.
Our journey began all the way back in October when we welcomed Kent 3s to Fortress Battersea and stamped our intention on the competition with a naughty 8-0 victory boasting 7 different scorers. We were less than impressed to draw UCL is in the second round though: sitting in the league above us and coming off the back of a good run of results, we knew that we would have to be at our very best if we were going to get a result. And so it was; we huffed and puffed, we played through injuries (tactical note, it is a good idea to have more than one substitute) and the standard first term 10-minute sin bin by
Becks, until we got to full time with the score tied at 2-2. Cue extra time and with most of us out on our feet it was a case of defending as if our lives depended on it (and many would say that they did - Captain Scanny probably would have strung us up in a fit of tears had we lost).
We hung on for eleven desperate minutes and then suddenly found ourselves launching a counter-attack; it began up the right with the ball pinging out of the D after a period of sustained pressure from UCL. Dan Steene (Deene) latched onto it and used his pace to beat the first man and surge up the field, drawing a foul just on the edge of the UCL D. The resulting play gave us a short corner and with Ian 'face-breaker' Scanlon (the St. Barts second runner at short corners will attest to the veracity of this name!) poised, we felt the match was there for the taking. The keeper made a good save from Ian's drag-flick initially but in the ensuing madness the ball ricocheted not once but twice off the inside of both of the UCL goal-posts, breaking LSE hearts and taking the game to penalty flicks. The UCL team looked tired and nervous - the prospect of losing to an arch-rival, particularly one you are expected to beat, was clearly playing heavily in their minds. With Dave 'I've never missed a flick' Beck among our penalty takers, we were fairly confident that we could cause an upset. And so we did, winning 4-2 (even Cat scored one) and paving the way for celebration, drinking and some world-class taps later that night. Our moods were lifted further by the news that in the third round we would be facing Imperial Medics 3s.
With none of the drama of the previous round against UCL we swept them aside with ease, banging in thirteen unanswered goals with the 7 classic Scanny goals, cruising into the 1/4 finals where, we found out later on, we would be meeting our biggest rivals, none other than KCL is. Our three previous matches with them have ended in draws; finally we would have a decisive result one way or another.
The date was set: February 10th 2010 -judgement day. It was freezing cold, it was dark but never has an LSE team looked so collectively up for a game: for the first time we were warming up together and all on time. We all knew what it meant - a shot at glory, a chance for our names to be immortalized in LSE history. We wanted it badly. Despite nearly dying of hypothermia (even Luke's mum on the sidelines wasn't hot enough to warm us up in that temperature), our resolve remained and as we got the game under-way the first few flakes of snow began to fall. We were brilliant for ten minutes; we hassled, harried and put them under constant pressure. As the snow-fall got worse we were camped in their half, searching and probing for an opening but it soon became clear that the match would have to be abandoned. Not only was the pitch icing over but it was becoming impossible to see each other in our white shirts. We trudged back inside, deflated and annoyed, wondering if we would ever get a chance to beat the scum.
So finally, last Monday, February 15th, the biggest match in the HC's recent memory was played. In better conditions KCL looked more assured of themselves and more confident in defence; from the
outset the match had the atmosphere of one that was going to go to the wire. Tackles were hard with the midfield battle particularly intense and in the first half the teams largely cancelled each other out. After the half-time break it was KCL who made the break through, one of their stand-out players (a Dutch under 18 international who had conveniently never played for them before) rifling home a reverse stick shot from the top of the D. But within five minutes LSE had a short corner and Ian made no mistakes, launching it beautifully into the bottom right hand corner to level the match. We were growing in confidence and applying more pressure, with Dan 'can't score to save his life' Steene and James Palmer (unofficially the team's best "signing" in the summer transfer window!) making some great runs up front to stretch the KCL defence. Unfortunately, this pressure became our undoing as we were caught by a typically swift counter and conceded a short corner. A well worked KCL move resulted in a goal and with 14 minutes to go, things were looking bleak. However another short corner was won that captain Ian once again dispatched with aplomb and it was KCL who suddenly looked the more ragged and worried. Steene had two/more like a billion gilt-edged opportunities to put the game to bed when he found himself one-on-one with the (frankly massive) KCL keeper but both times the ball sneaked just wide of the right hand post (and earned him the season's first unanimous dick of the day vote).
With neither team managing to find the decisive goal, we once again found
ourselves facing the lottery of penalty flicks (although we found the odds can be somewhat weighted in your favour when you have an ex GB-U21 keeper as your Captain) and the drama was high. After 5 LSE flicks we had scored 3 (one of the misses was dubiously deemed to be a double-hit) and KCL were taking their 5th flick to take it to sudden death - if Ian saved it we were in the semi-finals. The KCL player stepped up, readied himself, took a step and...BANG. We were plunged into darkness and utter confusion. The flood lights had been switched off the moment after the ball left his stick and Ian had only gone and saved it in the dark. ' This was, we argued, a major disadvantage for the keeper so surely we should have it. No they argued, that simply isn't fair. After a few of the more colourful characters in our team squared up to the whole of the KCL subs bench and their supporters, the lights were got going again and the flick was re-taken. Predictably he scored it and we went to sudden death. Both of the first flickers scored confidently, and Ian came out of goal to score in the second round of sudden death. He then padded back up quickly and we all watched as an incredibly nervous KCL player stepped up. His flick was poor, Ian saved it (on his birthday too), we went mental.
So this, dear reader, is where I leave you: we are facing one of the best teams in the region on Wednesday in Canterbury Christchurch. If we win not only will it be the biggest night out in the history of the HC, we will be heading to Sheffield for the final and an opportunity to put the HC and LSE sport as a whole on a national stage.
rnmtm
PART
I refused to participate though. I have principles.
Ahmed Peerbux &
Calum Young
y/MTwM
WEEK8//02.03.2010.
*¦ *	PA.RTB@THEBEAVERONLINE .CO. UK
PARTB-(SECT ION)@THEBEAVE RON LINE.CO.UK
»Aditorial?
Uh-oh. Elections are next week. What for? I don't know, I don't care for student politics.
More important is my biting, authoritative review in this week's issue of It's Only A Theory. What else is this editorial for if not a platform from which I can big myself up?
Speaking of shameless big-ups, I've been told I'll receive a handsome reward if I plug my friend's music shop - Memphis Music 31 , Ashley Road, Hampton, Middlesex, TW122JA.
08	MUSIC
09	FOOD/THEATRE.
10	VISUAL ARTS.
11	TV.
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•Do you have problems? Stuff on your mind ?that you can't sort out on your own? Why not #email PartB's own Agony Aunt/Slut at partb® thebeaveronline.co.uk and see if she can
^help.
• Dear Aunt Beverly,
My future is unforgettable. There is a pile
my degree are shrinking Bloomberg Bastards, Accenture Arseholes, Oliver Wyman 'orrible, BCG Brats. What am I to do?
The worst thing is that these are all jobs I hate. I am trapped in a kind of kafkaesque system whereby I feel disappointment about rejections from jobs I don't want. How is this so?
I want to live a cosmopolitan and urbane existence, that's just not going to happen without a six figure salary. I want to be the guy with the apartment overlooking St James Park, who has sufficient money to go out and eat. Help me arrive at this position of wealth and happiness.
Grekko Third-Year
Dear Aspirant,
Well I think this question, like all questions, can be answered through looking at both history and History.
In the first case, you're not the first person or indeed generation to be faced with this problem. In the late forties Jack Kerouac
came up with a solution to this deep-set
»•••••••••••••••«••
hatred of this world and our evident frus-* tration with the architecture of society. He suggested going 'On the Road'. Why not, just travel, take drugs and read books for the rest of your life. It would seem that the goals you speak of are not really your own but rather those of people around you. Do you actually want success or the trappings of success?	«
The other option is History. Why not become an academic. Work hard at your studies and get to grips with the past. You can avoid wasting your time in an office and instead get to learn about the role of anarchism in the 19th century or the strange death of liberal England. Being a Historian is where it's at.
Peace-out.

Just a Thought
One of the things that really pisses me off in life is the lack of meritocracy in the world. That is a system whereby individuals progress to positions within society based solely on there own innate physical and mental capacities. You would think in a ideal capitalist society that firms would want the best people for the job, but regrettably this is not always so.
The most contemptible examples of meritocracy being breached are when individuals use their parents, power, wealth and knowledge to help them procure positions in the world. At the LSE Cv's are often peppered with work experience and insider knowledge thanks to Mum and Dad.
Private schools and home tutors also rig the system. The children of the wealthy are given opportunities far beyond their poorer counterparts
But meritocracy is imperfect not just because peopfe abuse the system, but also because it is practically impossible to implement. If brought-up in a middle-class home then one is far more likely to develop the soft-skills and charm which someone brought-up on a council estate will not. People with parents who traverse the globe and live lives of international busi-ness are also more likely to imparl onto their progeny language skills.
Thus, it's 110 surprise that the most accurate indicator of your future income, is that of your father.
Please Fill This Out In Blue Or Black Ink
FULL NAME: ALEXANDRA WHITE
Are you currently eligble to work in the EU? If so, please proceed with the rest of the application.
Question I: out of the 190,600 applicants, why are you uniquely qualified for this job?
I'm not Not even a little bit. I've spent the last 3 years at university getting pissed and giving myself a stomach ulcer, like every other university student Can I play the race card? I'm mixed race. You can't have too many of them around. If you don't employ me I could try to sue you for racism. I'd fail, of course, much like I suspect I will in this application process, but hey, I'm getting pretty desperate right about now. Years of cruel life have taught me that whatever my mother might have said I am not special. I have a mediocre degree and a fairly unspectacular personality.
Question 2: Why do you want to work for our firm?
I just want a job anywhere get one mate. Anywhere at all.
mean, I'm starting high up, but it'll be KFC in a few months time.The student debts, they are a-buildin', and frankly,
my only current ambi tion is not to become a tramp with a degree.
Question 3: Sum up your personality in three words.
Fuck. Right Off.
Question 4: In 300 hundred words or less, describe a time when you have been truly challenged and what you learnt from this experience.
This application. I don't have much of a character, to be sure, but what I do have can't be boiled down to three words. From this proccess I have learnt that perhaps nepotism is the way forward. Getting a job through the back door without any stupid CV trying to pin down my vivacity in Times New Roman size 12 is an epic plan. I have also learnt that there is no creative way to answer these questions creatively without being painfully rude. I'm hoping it's charming. Question 5: Where do you see yourself in five | years time?
Having committed fraud and living in the Cayman Islands. Alternatively stuck in an office job, significantly saggier, missing my glory kdays and wishing I'd not done tall of my graduate job applications when I was hammered.
Question 6: What is your worst personality trait?
I'm really 1 pissing lazy. Oh I shit wait No.
This isn't one of those real questions is it? Right well then l...care too much? I'm so damn creative I'm frankly unbearable. I'll show up all of my colleagues on a daily basis becuase I'm the best employee ever.That'll do.
Question 7: Have you ever been accused of committing a crime?
An officer once arrested me for being too SEXY.
Question 8: Why do you want to be a banker?
BARE DOLLAR
Question 9: What relevant experience have you had that would aid you in this position?
Well, I've had many sexual partners, and I'm almost disgustingly flexible. Is that not what you meant? Crap.Well then I've got nothing for you.
Question 10: What would you bring to this job?
A level of procrastination heretofore unwitnessed: a catalogue of failed blog videos of cats doing stupid things. I'm willing to coach my colleagues in the manual dexterity required for te-tris, and massage their Repetitive Strain Injuries away at the end of a long day.
Question 11: What do you hope to gain from this job?
A disposable income to finance the increasing alcoholism I hope to foster as a result of doing a job I don't even want to do.
RANT
i,;; ..Vv-"CM VA'vr
ncovering Storage Vats of Regional Memory
Look up Nick Papadimitriou onYou-Tube, before he granulates too soggily in the public consciousess. Finding the term 'psychogeography' too hackneyed, Papidimitriou calls himself a 'deep topographer'. He has a tie-dye history with arson and narcotics, including a spell in the Ashford Remand Centre as Dennis Nilsen's neighbourThese days he's usually being winched aloft by the holy trinity of psycho-hallucinant verbal ramblers - lain Sinclair; Will Self and Russell Brand. He's fascinating to watch, hunter-gathering facts and fictions in the liminal spaces of the city. He spends time ruminating on crumbling stone balusters that no longer seem to serve a purpose: are they obelisks from another dimension? Did they usher in Time itself? Or are they, as Papidimitriou says, 'storage vats of regional memory'? He's a storage vat of memory himself, a bio-archive of district-
4-
arginalia
I The first lines of Great Expectations I are fairly well known: 'My father's family name being Pirrip, and my Christian name Philip, my infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit than Pip. So, I called myself Pip, and came to be called Pip.' My copy of the book, which I read as an undergraduate, contains just one annotation. It's a penetrating judgement that attends directly to these very sentences. The last of the three 'Pip's is circled in thick red ink a smudgy blotch from which scarlet vessels fissure outwards like bloody optic nerves. Attached to this halo of insight is a long red line, escorting the read" er's eye to the far corner of the first page where my precise exegesis is to be staged. And there, at the end of the trail, is my critical observation:'Pip'.
I don't remember finishing Great Expectations, but I do remember writing badly on it in an exam some months later I think I read Pierre Bayard instead (twitch twitch). Further explorations in the wonderful world of marginalia come courtesy of a second-hand copy of Slaughterhouse 5, which I recently picked up (thinking it free of retarded grafting) from a charity shop. Again, a lone note seems to have sufficed for the previous owner On page 48, in the sentence 'Billy wasn't a Catholic, even though he grew up with a ghastly crusifix on the wall', the word 'crusifix' is underlined. Written next to it with blue ink (in the handwriting of a chicken fillet) are the words 'gives him an understanding of torture + cruelty'. That's it for the whole book Was there nothing worth saying up to page 48? Perhaps this one transcendent glimmer of truth was enough for the whole 275 page script? And what's with the maths? Why not cruelty'? Maybe he gave- up there, tossed Von-negut on the .pile of deciphered masterpieces and wheeled round to check for updates on You-Porn. Even worse - maybe he was a she. Was it a girl who wrote this? What does this mean for gender and handwriting? Has the last bastion truly moldered? I should add that the 'line' linking the printed word to the annotated text was in fact an arrow. Presumably, finding no pointer but rather just a dead end, our arch academic wouldn't know where to look upon revisiting his annotations. HERE'S MY FUCKING THOUGHT RIGHT THERE. CANT MISS IT RIGHT FUCKING.THERE.
by-district information. A film called The London Perambulator, which is all about Papidimitriou, is coming out shortly on Brand's film production line. Get involved before your impression of the man is honeyed in a pubic jangle of mock-cockney aphorism and a delirious assault of fuck-witted volume.
'owards a Cosmic Idealism
Parliament's 'Mothership Connection'. Sun Ra's 'Heliocentric Worlds'. Gil Scott-Heron's 'Whitey On The Moon'. David Bowie's 'Starman'. Tim Buckley's 'Starsailor'. Alice Coltrane's 'Cosmic Music'. Van Morrison's 'Astral Weeks'. Hoist's 'Planets'. Let's just get cosmic. Lo-
cal, global, glocal, low-fat global, schmocal, bi-focal, yokel - the springs have truly sprung in this mattress. Feels creaky. The earth, this atmosphere, this planetary hermetic - isn't this just one big shiny Copernican shift waiting to happen. Can't we be cosmic idealists about this? Look at that long list of mostly sane musicians. Isn't it galactically likely that they knew something we didn't. Shouldn't we all be listening to the music of the spheres? Does the CERN collider red matter or Hubble's protruding eye for detail mean anything to you? Shouldn't we wheel that lens around, or at the very least slap a mirror on the opposite end? We're already aliens. I don't see how we have any choice but to Believe.
.FASHION.
A week of F&shbn ir the Gapial
IMO OTORO GIVESTHE LOW-DOWN ON LONDON FASHION WEEK.
ELECTION CANDIDATE IS HANEKE OBSESSED.
Last week the fit and the fabulous from all over the globe flocked to London town to witness London's finest present their Autumn / Winter collections for 2010. Fashion editors, celebrities and non-brities were seen in their droves, decorating the front row or seen as a stain on the third or fourth row (the latter being for the real losers). Yet they all had one thing in common. They all came to see what they should be wearing when its taters (in the mould), cockney slang for cold, a season also described by the Yanks as 'fall'.
Whatever its description, this season's Autumn/Winter collections featured rich, sumptuous fabrics, artfully balanced with sheer silk and soft textures that added an unmistakably feminine grace to the heavier, richer fabrics on show.
This trend was particularly prominent in the Eun Jeong show, as models stomped to the death to the breezy vocals of Eliza Doo-little and her five piece live band. Navy, black and greys were strikingly contrasted against shots of red and orange panelling, printed on sheer chalky white stockings and tights.
The geometric prints on the hosiery offered a welcome change to the black opaque tights that have dominated the Autumn/Winter scene for far too long. So ladies, this season make sure to pick up a pair of patterned tights in a lighten more sheer texture and shade, as opposed to the usual 40 denier black opaque's we get from 'Primarche' (Primark to the lay-man).
Bright colours were far from absent in this years collections; many designers opted for colour, nearly eliminating black from their collections altogether. Meadham Kirchoff's collection was full of Eastern Promise, as a very bla-
Recently the BFI hosted a Haneke season in celebration of his new film, The White Ribbon. While I was underwhelmed by the Austrian director's latest work, the season allowed me to discover older Haneke films I hadn't even heard of such as The Seventh Continent It is truly one of the most depressing films I've even seen, the tale of a whole family who commit suicide.This topic is one that I never would have thought would make a great film. It is an uncomfortable watch, deeply disturbing in places, but it shows the mastery of Haneke as a director producing a film of high quality with the ability to shock the audience as few other directors can.
The film opens detailing the monotony of the family's everyday life. We watch them brush their teeth, eat breakfast and go to work. Haneke shows the blandness of their daily existence, as we watch an almost identical loop of their life over several days.The cinematography, as even is excellent with the disjointed shots at the start of the film establishing a gap between the viewer and the family, meaning we never really get a sense of why they carry out these actions.The film already felt almost suffocating, but Haneke ends the loop before it becomes unbearable. We then watch them seemingly pack up their lives, selling their car and quitting their jobs, all the while claiming they are moving to Australia. The film ultimately leads up to the suicide of the entire family.
The clinical destruction of the whole house; the family wishing to leave no trace of themselves brings home the shocking nature of the act,- especially the scenes in which they smash up entire
FILM
tant Middle Eastern, Arabian theme was served up to awaiting fashionistas. This collection is a far cry from their usual cacophony of navy, lace and soft shell nudes that give the design duo their unmistakably romantic silhouettes which have offered them a cult following; recent fans include Irish singer songwriter Roisi'n Murphy.
This almost gothic sensibility has successfully shifted towards an Autumn/Winter collection
"Bright colours were far from absent in this seasons collections, as many designers opted for colour; nearly eliminating black from their collections altogether."
that features colour (orange and fuschia mainly), while incorporating soft textures once again skilfully weighed against heavier textures and rich fabrics. My favourite piece was a pink leather biker jacket, emboldened with velvet, sequins and tinsel petals, somewhat reminiscent of Designers Guild.
So what should we be looking out for in the 'fall'of 2010? COLOUR mainly, which is all good for me on account of the fact that I wear whateverthe hell I like all year round and most of it is colourful.
Just a heads up, if you are going to wear colour GO BOLD, GO HARD, GO NUTTY!
rooms leaving nothing intactThe final moments in which the family prepares to and then kills themselves is a shocking end to the film, especially the scenes in which we listen to the daughter dying, her ragged breath being particularly harrowing. The film is classic Haneke; his ability to shock and create tension, are magnificently displayed in this film.The difficult subject matter may put off some but the manner in which it is handled makes the
film a classic.The bleak existence of the family in the lead up to'their death provides an unbearable atmosphere and their ultimate act is almost a release for the viewer
I left the film feeling dazed and slightly numb after two hours of slow building tension and then having to watch, as the family slowly died one by one.This film may not be for the faint hearted but it certainly is for fans of the darker side of cinema.
Ex Libras are Amit Sharma (guitar, • vocals), Kieran Nagi (piano) and Ross Kenning (drums). Ironically coming together within the quiet confines of the Hounslow Borough Libraries, where they worked together Ex Libras have shown with their critically acclaimed debut album Suite(s) that they are anything but muted and mundane.Their entire album was recorded on a dated Dell PC, in a souped up shed in Heston, which from the outside looks as though it should be housing gardening implements rather than musical instruments.
Traces of their employment are scattered amongs their works; their library credentials really shine through in the use of silence between sounds that help build up an atmosphere of intrigue. And tracks like 'issues' and 'Discharge' relate to the functions of their daytime guise as library assistants. Seemingly irrelevant, but this is actually one of the things that is so endearing about Ex Libras; everything is immediate, close to home and relatable. Lyrics like 'didn't anybody tell you/ you are beautiful just the way you are/
didn't anybody tell you/ we're not meant to be the same' strike a particular universal resonance that contrasts the bands occasional air of enigma.
Producing a work of ardent, anxious vocals that recall the siren-falsettos of Matt Bellamy, haunting classical piano refrains, and mathematical drum beats of meticulous precision, the trio's debut warrants repeated listening that would rival the mesmerising loops that infuse their efforts. Not bad at all for a shed in Heston.
Where did Ex Libras begin?
(K) Me and Amit went to the same secondary school. We were friends beforehand, we decided to have a little jam together: Me and Ross have been in a band before, quite'afew bands before actually, we just went to our local studio, and had a jam for five-six hours.
You don't seem like just any other emerging band. You have your own website - and a good one at that - as opposed to just the token Myspace. You have a pretty good video for
your first single, Radar, too.
(K) Everything we've done so far has been DIX from building the shed, to the website. We got a web designer to do it but we put forward our own ideas. We recorded the whole album by ourselves in here, on a Dell PC worth £200-300. Friends of ours that specialize in different things have all got involved too, like Amit's mate James helped us shoot and edit the video.
What are your main musical influences, or more broadly, artistic influences?
(K) I'm just a funk freak, really, [laughs] But I'm not allowed any funk in the band. I've always loved classical music, when I sit down at a piano that's what naturally comes out, not like poppy-rock stuff.There are other influences there though, like hip hop. We all like a lot of bass as well. We're getting into a lot of dubstep at the moment too.
(A) I think musically it's a free for all in here, and I don't think any one of us limits each other
AHMED PEERBUX TALKS TO YOUR NEW FAVOURITE BAND
De somethir people, could
as to what we can express.. .apart from funk [laughs]. Kieran gets fifteen minutes at the beginning to get it out of his system. I'm personally inspired by the ethos of other musicians. People like Johnny Greenwood is a good example. And John Cage, somebody who tried to approach music in a completely different, non-linear way. I like the idea of not trying to repeat yourself, so if I've done something, say for example, with my pedals in a specific combination, I'll consciously make sure I never do that again, in an effort to try and find something new.
You got a thumbs up from both Classic Rock and Q. How do these trickles of attention and recognition make you feel?
(K) It's really nice to know people are spending time listening to the album, and writing good things about it
(R) Yeah, it is a two way street as well though.They need to review albums to have a website in the first place. But you talk about recognition and if its praise, it puts a smile on your face. Being in a band and making music is something you'd do anyway. I've been in a band before, it's nice that it's happening this time.There's that saying, write until you die. Its not something you can turn off or choose.
it is; all those things and more.
So your "aggressive ambient" response was a rejection of the need to pin down and qualify everything?
(A) It is that, but it's also an acceptance of the completely vast amount of subcultures that are just generating, the amount of diversity in all different genres of music being broken down.
I found Sufi Dub the other day.
(K)[Laughs] Exactly. And you pop into HMV and you've got a massive selection of artists under
Myspace and add everybody just to get people. It was always meant to be something that people could stumble upon and feel that they have an intimate connection whereby those people are stumbling across something that only a few other people have heard of, and there is something nice about that relationship to us. I would like to think success is someone coming up to us at the end of a show and saying"! really enjoyed that" - that's success, not going plati-num.That would be wonderful, but it's not going to happen. But if a young band wants to do that, then best of luck to them, but make sure you know what you want to do.
"this was always meant to
Our telly editor doesn't listen to music.
(R) It's strange; how do you introduce someone to something so vast?
Something that really turned me on to music is Tchaikovsky's scoring of Swan Lake. Sometimes it can take fifteen, twenty minutes just leading up to "that part", and when it does come it's just really powerful. Stick on some nice classical music in the background, and don't pay too much attention to it.
You've been described in reviews as post-rock, post-breakbeat, prog/post rock and even post-post-post rock. Can your sound be reasonably pinned down, or are genres a constraint? (A) I said one to the guy when we went to print off the t shirts, who asked how we'd describe ourselves. I said "aggressive ambient" which is equally as good as "post-breakbeat". But it's the worst question to ask a musician.
(R) If people describe the music as that, it's what
upon, and they have an connection
'That would be wonderful, but it's not going to happen'.How can you make these predictions in this fickle industry?
(A) That's probably a personal character flaw. I believe in our music, but through experience, some of the bands I've loved over the last five years music | v *	¦ are actually underground bands
from the Kingston scene which have already released two albums and broken up, and nobody's heard about them. So to me, music as an education or a learning experience isn't about popular success, J so I'm not expecting that. I would f love it to be, but I'm under no illusions that it will be.
feel that intimate with"
'Rock & Pop. And I'd say "that's not rock and that's not pop!", yet it comes under the same umbrella. I mean if we wanted to we could create a new genre right now.
What wisdom would you impart to other emerging and aspiring musicians?
(A) Figure out what it is you want to be. Because like us, we decided straight off that it was not going to be an affair where we go on
Is there anything you didn't see coming?
(R) The biggest surprise was that our album was leaked all over the internet, especially on some Russian websites. It was picked up everywhere. It was nice to know that people felt bothered enough to download it. And it wasn't just that, there were messageboards full of comments. It wasn't just a dead link that wasn't being downloaded. We were reading them through a Yahoo translator and all of it was positive...
What can we expect to see from you in the future?
(A) We've got a new single out early May,
quickly followed up by an acoustic EP which we are currently in the middle of writing and recording. And then we're going to record the new album, hopefully...
Ex Libras's album Suite(s) is out now.You can buy a copy at www.exlibras.co.uk or www.myspace.com/ exlibras.
MUSIC
HOME GROWN TALE
*? " HOLLY RU8ENSTEXM
HUBtCOLOSY
From its roaring success over the last year; Ethno-music-ology, London's hottest student night and the only regular world-music night in town, will now be showcasing the finest live world music at Guanabara.This alliance promises to provide the most exciting and unique night on offer with a blend of diverse beats, Brazilian streetfood and very student friendly prices.
Ethnomusicology, an LSE homegrown event that has been running for a yean has flown the nest.Tonight Ethno will be exhibiting its finest lineup to date with Aj Holmes and the Hackney Empire an energetic, calsypso/African highlife group, breakdancers, DJ Chris John on the decks and a lot more. This event has been a resounding high energy success when run at various venues around London and promises to be even more incredible now it has found a permanent home.
Here at the Beaver we think there's a definite need for a student night that has something beyond what Rough Hill's exploits at Tiger Tiger and Onanon can offer This night promises to fill that gap with its easy-going vibe, super cheap cocktails, cheap entry and great music. Not to be missed.
This week we've interviewed ourweekly columnist Holly,who happensto be a very talented musician. Now at least in the future , when we're all perpetually unemployed graduates and she's a sucessful and well paid musician, claims of'Oh, I knew herat uni"can be founded on at least some degree offact.
japandiDiis
@ ICA 23.02 REVIEW BY ?AM MCLAUGHLIN
Having released their debut album Post-Nothing last year; the Vancouver drums n' guitar group Ja-pandroids, comprised of David Prowse and Brian King have been constantly touring ever since.
Each successive song is a barrage of testosterone fuelled, hyperactive energy, with Brian running around the stage and headbanging like an overexcited puppy, rattling the whole venue with his unbelievable space-age guitar tone. At one point he fucks up a song, then says he won't apologise because his fuck-up was due to the fact that he was too excited. And damn, that excitement is infectious, although after being actively encour-
Why are you doing a degree rather than jumpingstraightintothemusicbusiness?
It was never really a consideration whether or not to do a degree. I did well at school and by the time I left I had already been working in the industry 3 years. I had a good idea of how things worked and that despite believing then and now that my career will be in music, I knew that this was not an industry where you can put all your eggs in one basket. So I took the opportunity to enjoy university life, and study something I was interested in.
How did you get involved with all the big names, like Kipper?
Working with Kipper came about after I met with David Grant, who is a singing coach - he was the coach on Fame Academy with his wife Carrie, and they work with a who's who of the music industry - people like Take That and Natasha Bedingfield. David was a big fan of my music and he put me in touch with a publisher who had signed the Spice Girls., who happened to manage Kipper; who I ended up recording with. I now count him as probably my closest ally in the industry. You can never network too much in music! That's how I ended up writing with some of the best writers and producers in London. Once you get the ball rolling, it can become addictive! .
Another way is through MySpace. For example, a producer in Miami came across my music page and really loved my music. He told a record label out there, who also liked it and before I knew it I'd been flown out to Miami, and offered a worldwide recording and publishing (songwriting) deal. I decided not to sign for legal reasons and took up my place at LSE.
What do you think of modern pop music?
I like it. I think that music is in a reasonable place right now. I love that the genre boundaries are ever-blurring. Music has opened up so that everything - FlnB, Urban, Indie - is all deemed pop music.
The only annoying thing about modem pop music was that when Amy Winehouse came along, every female that followed was somehow comparable to her Adele, Duffy,... they were all called the 'new Amy'. As far as i'm concerned there has not been a 'new Amy' since Amy and new female artists should be appreciated in their own right rather than being lumped as 'another female'. I mean, it's not like there are lots of categories, you're either a man or a woman. Having said that, some of my anthropology lecturers might have a big problem with that statement! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmKOKKKttatKmmmm aged to stage-dive, no one does. Unperturbed, Brian and David throw in some hilarious banter; and the 'supercharged performance of songs like 'Hearts Sweat' with rts Neanderthal stomp, and 'The Boys are Leaving Town' with its ecstatic drum fills makes for an insanely fun atmosphere, and wins over the audience a million times over
I love the innocence of their songs too. In 'Wet Hair' the chorus is "We run the gauntlet/ Let's go to France/So we can French kiss some French girls". Stupid, but awesome. By the end of the gig, after the band has played the euphoric singje 'Young Hearts Spark Fire' with its prophetic refrain of "I don't wanna worry about dying/I just wanna worry about those sunshine girls", they
What inspires you? Anything uni-relat-
ed? Nothing uni-related no. Although I suppose I could try and link songwriting to anthropology in the sense that I'm always observing people to take inspiration from.'Hmmm, no that is a pretty tenuous link! I am inspired by life and love. I was recently in the studio writing with a hip hop artist He sat me down to watch a documentary on the war in Liberia while we ate dinner because it was a source of inspiration to him. I didn't get it. I'm afraid my inspirations are a lot more mundane.
What is your writing process is like? How do you find the time while doing a degree at LSE?
I write super-fast. Normally I hear someone say a sentence or I see it in a paper or something, and I think'wow that is a good line'.Then my head will start singing it to a random melody and it evolves from that. I'll sit down at the piano and see if it goes anywhere. I know it sounds totally bizarre. I was a poetry geek when I was younger so words come to me pretty fast, and I've played piano since I was 4 so I've got the tools, I just need the good ideas!
What are your plans for the future?
When I finish LSE, I will be working on music full-time. As well as pursuing my solo-career I also write songs for and with other artists. People are sometimes surprised to hear that my speciality lies in writing topline RnB melodies - I regularly collaborate with NeYo's Grammy-winning producers 'the Heavyweights' who are based in Boston, and have been working with some incredible hip hop artists too. I've stopped gigging this term while I finish my degree, so I'm looking forward to getting back out on the live music scene - I imagine I'll be performing every couple of weeks. All live dates will be posted on my MySpace page, website and Facebook music page, www.hollyruben-stein.com // www.myspace.com/hollyrubenstein
¦¦¦¦ME

play a song by a seemingly innocuous band called McClusky. But they go fucking mental, the crowd goes mental, a guy stage dives, the crowd hold him aloft for the duration of the song as the intensity heightens. The guitar shakes the foundations, the drums slice ears apart, and in a haze of sweat and beer the set is ended; but the exhilarating memory of it remains in my ringing ears the next day.
Despite the face-melting noise, the lack of my favourite song'I Quit Girls' and a sneaking suspicion that the lack of stage-diving signifies the end of society, the gig was brilliantThere's no doubt that'Japan-droids' is a silly name, but with their amazing performance tonight they showed that you should never judge a book by its cover.. .or a band by its name.
.THEATRE.
Oedipus
SOPHIE MARMENT IS PERSUADED BYTHE PERFORMANCE
Oedipus, for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of studying it at A-level, is a very long and frankly very tedious play written back in the ancient times by that well known philosopher Sophocles. It's the kind of play that makes me realize that I will never ever be able to understand the mindset of people of the past. How is it in any way logical to believe that you should be eternally condemned for actions you are unaware of and more importantly, why should a man be condemned for a murder; not because it is a murder but because the man he killed was his father though he didn't know this at the time. Confused? You should be.
So here's a brief round-up. Oedipus is abandoned as a child so he doesn't know his parents. When he grows up he unwittingly kill's his father and then travels to his home town of Thebes where he achieves fame and fortune and marries the widowed queen, unaware that this is in fact his mother (this is of course where Freud gets the Oedipus complex from). This fulfils a phro-pecy and brings about disaster and destruction upon the Greek city. Oedipus applies to the blind prophetTeiresias for help and learns that the only way to lift the curse is to identify the murderer of the late King. Thus follows a relentless search in which Oedipus interrogates suspect after suspect until, on the brink of insanity he discovers the truth and tears out his eyes. A happy ending all round.
Given the cheery nature of the play it was with much trepidation that I went to see the LSESU Drama Society's production of Oedipus.
I was pleasantly suprised. I was not bored to the point of near tears, which is certainly my memory of studying Oedipus and while the plot is still frustratingly illogical to my modern mind, I was not so frustrated as to feel the need to identify every fingernail in need of filing.
The adaptation is David Greig's and, while more manageable than Sophocles original its over use of expletives is unnecessary in a play which, given the shock tactics of the plot line, hardly needs it in its rhetoric as well. Nevertheless the acting makes up for an unsatisfactory script. Jamie Qui is brilliant in the title role but the real gem of a performance comes from Louise McCluskey as Tii Paulo Bertolero also gives a sc performance as the King.
The costumes are basic but effective - white t-shirts and jeans allow the audience to con centrate on the complicated plot, which frankly they need to, while a selection of stereotypical props allow us to identify characters such as the king with little difficulty.
Yet again the Drama Society has provided us with a solid and original performance. Oedipus may not be my favourite but it is a Greek classic that has been read for several thousand years so somebody must enjoy it! If you're a beginner when it comes to the Greeks or feel the need to give Oedipus another try then this production is certainly a good starting point.
OEDIPUS PLAYED ON 22ND & 26TH FEBRUARY IN THE OLD THEATRE, HOUGHTON STREET
FOOD MARKET HEAVEN
VICTORIA TERRY ENJOYS A GOOD FOODIE WANDER
FOOD --9
Unless you subsist on a purely liquid diet there can be no excuse for living in London and not visiting the weekly food markets. If you have not yet experienced wandering around a bustling food market in the busy roads of London mark it in your diary now. After all, if nothing else, it is something new to do with the copious amount of free time we enjoy as students. A quick warning before you go to one of the markets listed below: watch yourself carefully as before you know it your arm will be weighed down by food lovelies but your wallet will be worryingly light.
My favourite, and the one perfectly situated for a jaunt from LSE, is Borough Market near London Bridge. It is one of London's oldest and best; apparently it has been around for 250 years. It is open Thursday to Saturday and l ean guarantee you that if you don't come away with your stomach full you have obviously been to the wrong place. The Market is found beneath the railway viaducts and simply wandering around the maze-like walkways is enjoyable enough. There is not only loads of ready-to-eat-right-then and there food but also a multitude of foods on offer for you to take home and try your hand at cooking.
One Sunday be sure to visit the Up-Market in Ely's Yard off Brick
Lane. This is not just a market for food but also a huge array of goodies with over 140 stalls so you could be in for a long day but most definitely a worthwhile one. Attracting fashionistas who want to move away from the mainstream uniform, homemakers looking for a one-off item or even musicians looking for the latest sounds from the streets, foodies are just a portion of the crowds. However, the food area is definitely a key draw, with home made foods from all
across the globe being on offer. If you are craving the food you had while travelling or want to experience the flavours of the world without the cost of plane tickets this is the place for you.
If you live further afield in the south then check out the new street market opened recently on Venn Street in Clapham for a range of high-quality produce and street food vans. I was particularly drawn by their description of street markets as 'vibrant street shows', never a truer word said.
Not only are the markets enjoyable for eating at or buying produce from but also an atmospheric place to spend your day soaking in the London mish-mash of cultures.
You do not have to visit one of the big name markets, just keep an eye out in your local area as there are a surprising number of farmers markets that pop up on weekends for some guilt-free goodies sourced locally and fresh as food can get Plus, it does make the food shop more interesting than just wandering around your local supermarket.
.VISUAL ARTS
FACE AS FACADE
JX SHEN ABSORBSTHE
Portrait galleries have always held a kind of spell over me. Wandering through Irving Penn Portraits at the National Portrait Gallery gives
the impression of being in the midst of a freeze-frame dinner party containing a random assortment of personality. As I take in the delightful pleasure of becoming acquainted with the faces of some of the most famous names, an added bonus has to be the fact that the owners of those faces are not even aware of, much less uncomfortable with me, the voyeur ogling and scrutinizing their visage at close range. As I tread through the rooms, one well-known name after another floats into view. Quite often, the names are better known than the faces - Alfred Hitchcock, Simone de Beauvoir Richard Burton, Graham Greene. There was almost an urge to whisper "I've heard so much about you. We finally meet" as I hungrily absorb the thoughtfully captured images of celebrities that seem to reveal so much.
Penn's images are quietly volatile.Their mini-malistic setting and black-and-white austerity not so much belies but sets forth the drama and tension in the human countenance. Penn doesn't comment or editorialize, but most of his subjects are people of real achievement and merit, whom he photographs with compositional clarity and economy. His settings are neutral and without narratives. Indeed, he is well-known for his technique of setting upright angled backdrops to form a stark, acute corner where he will place his subject. Literally forced into a corner his subjects submit to Penn's subtle exploration of gesture and expressions, the result of which is a breathtakingly diverse and often striking forms of self-presentation: Truman Capote hunches awkwardly on his knees on top of a chair with both hands thrust firmly into the pockets of his coat in an almost crjnging pose, while the Duchess of Windsor dominates her corner with her strong, elongated frame draped in a dark dress, thrown into stark contrast against an all-white background; Edith Piaf, fragile and doll-like, leaning stiffly against a thick bundle of clothes with hands clasped before her in a projection of what seems like some kind of vulnerable hope, while Jacque Cocteau appears with his elbows out, propping up a jacket that adds to the angularity of his defensive pose and leery expression.There were also people exuding a side of personality that is of little familiarity to the public: Jacque-Yves Cousteau, the restless ocean explorer and marine photographer, was caught in a pensive, restful moment of introspection with half-shut lids and a cigarette hanging from his lips; Grace Kelly, undressed of glamour but not missing a single ounce of elegance, smiles with a yielding slouch about the shoulders and a soft approachability about her face.
The advancement of photographic technology is apparent in this exhibition that spans the 70 years of Penn's career With better lenses and higher resolutions, we peer ever so closer into the subjects even as Penn maintains the subtlety in his approach. Every single crease, every little wrinkle is carefully and faithfully documented to extraordinary effect. For Penn, age is elegantly portrayed through the astonishing details in the textures of human skin - burrows and folds are accentuated by the starkness of black and white. In one picture, these crevices on the aged skin would create tiny delicate lines of shadows that hide little bits of the face from the stare of the lenses, and stand in fascinating contrast with another portrait of the porcelain smoothness of a
LIFETIME'S WORK OF IRVING PENN
"Sensitive people faced with the prospect of a camera portrait put on a face they think is the one they would like to show to the world... very often what lies behind the facade is rare and more wonderful than the subject knows or dares to believe." Irving Penn 1975
youthful mien that spreads tautly against the flesh and conceals nothing. In Penn's portraits there always exists an interplay of shadows and light that both illuminates and obscures. What to thrust into the light and what to throw into the shades? Through that debate, Penn somehow creates the perfect tension that yields in the drama of those black and white photographs, with one prime example being the fiercely mysterious representation of the indomitable spirit in the portrait of Anais Nin.
Black and white and all shades of gray - those are not just the shades in Penn's portraits, but the epitomization of the multitude of persona and humanity so vividly expressed in the subjects and so sympathetically captured by Irving Penn. Penn works with contrasts: profoundness of the human expression set against the simplicity of the backdrop; a lifetime of experiences communicated in an transient glance of the eye. According to the man himself, "a limitation of our medium is that
the inside is recordable only in so far as it is apparent on the.outside".Through this exhibition, Penn has been shown to transcend this limitation in the capturing of so many infinitely intimate moments through his benign and self-effacing lenses.
Self-effacing is a trait often mentioned about Penn, so much so that through the 120 portraits displayed at the gallery, not a single one is of the man himself.There was a sense of lingering shame as I left the gallery - after all the glittering personalities captured, the man who stood behind the lenses had remained there. In wake of this elegantly executed dinner party, which managed to span literature, dance, music, film as well as straddle a time frame of 70 odd years, one had failed to catch a glimpse of the face that made this happen.
'IRVING PENN PORTRAITS' IS AT THE NATIONAL PORTRAIT GALLERYTIL 6THJUNE
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AHMED PEERBUX WANTSTO BE PROVEN WRONG
feel cheated. The last episode of Newswipe is a lazy compilation. No new artful, truthful drunken slurs from Doug Stanhope. No new wordplay of Shakespearean grandeur from Tim Key. And so something else must be found on iPlayer to plug the gaping hole in my life that Brooker & Co have left. It's Only A Theory, perhaps? It's doing a rerun on BBC Four and iPlayer, after all.
Part of the attraction of It's Only A Theory is its relatively straightforward formula. With the help of a guest host, regular hosts Reginald D Hunter and Andy Hamilton simply scrutinise the theory of an expert in their field, either passing it with the stamp of approval or consigning it to the shredder of oblivion. What could go wrong here? It essentially works under the same premise as Room 101, and that managed 88 episodes. Guest comes on and reasons with funny people, and in return funny people.. .are funny.
Some of the academics and their theories are supremely compelling too. In its better moments, It's Only A Theory shares that curious quirk with Ql; serving as a means of escape for even the most indolent couch potato, but also as a sobering learning experience. In an episode on iPlayer; one expert postulated the theory that 'women choose their mates more by smell than by sight.' Interesting food for thought, but the brainy people lost me when Reginald masterfully hypothesised "when dogs meet and they go and sniff each others butt, now .what is that about? Is that part of the sniffing theory?" Something for everyone, this.
The trouble is that all this doesn't actually need to be on a television. Having an episode on in the background for company, or watching it blindfolded even, won't result in viewers missing
anything apart from the bland set design, which seems to only glow green or red depending on the fate of the theory. The distinctive aspects of the show - the grinding of the shredder and the thud of the stamp for example - are equally audibly relevant as they are visually.
But the main problem with It's Only A Theory lies with its presenters. Reginald D Hunter and Andy Hamilton are essentially in the same class of celebrity whose career overwhelmingly orbits around serving as panel fodder on shows like Buzzcocks and Ql, and so their ability to captivat-ingly hold their own thirty minute slot is questionable. There are limits to the amounts of laughs that can be squeezed from Hunter's one note southern drawl and "I'm black, baby!" routine.
With Hamilton, there are limits to how many times the word 'phenomena' can be used to try and keep up with the gifted guests. And so the independent variable of It's Only A Theory - the concept - is sound, but the dependent variables, the presenters, are open to debate.
IT'S ONLY A THEORY IS CURRENTLY AIRING ON BBC FOUR ON WEDNESDAYS, AND ON iPLAYER

All aboard!
NATHAN BRIANT IS GETTING ON ATTHE NEXT STOP
With Come Dine With Me, Channel 4 has scored a definite success. Perhaps, what with the recent economic collapse and all, going out to dinner parties at strangers' houses and eating free food - albeit, most of it looking like some terrible gastronomic experiment: Heston Blumenthal gone wrong -reflected the mood of the nation. Maybe.
Coach Trip, another Channel 4 triumph, similarly reflects British attitudes to thrift: people who might have been going to Benidorm and lolling on a lilo in the last embers of the economic boom seem to be going on coach trips around Europe in increasing numbers, holidaying with the same ghastly people from other drab places across the country with whom they have nothing in common with except the fact that their preferred way of travelling in a holiday is thoroughly middle aged and dreadfully boring. Making their'way from one service station to the next and oooing and aahing over the different varieties of confectionary and crisps that real Europeans have is one particular highlight of such a holiday, apparently...
And that's the basic premise of CoachTrip\Tbe programme takes a bunch of tight couples who can't be bothered to pay for their own holidays, who like seeing the sights and feeling alright, most "
of them hope that they'd get their end away with a stranger a couple of times as they travel across Europe. However there's a catch: their fellow travellers can be sent home from the coach trip after two cautions after their fellow travellers vote to either keep them on the coach or send them away back to the UK.
The tour guide, Brendan, is the star of the show. It's not just that he's the only constant face across the series as couples are regularly voted off, but his comments are hilarious - those of which you would expect to hear from someone who has spent their working life on a coach explaining holiday areas to tourists with information weaned from locals or a rough equivalent of a "Guide To" a particular area. When a passenger; the odious Jay - a man so stupid and culturally insensitive that he asked whether 'Hitler's dad' started the First World War - got drunk after multiple peach schnapps as the tour passed through Switzerland, and moaned and groaned that he hadn't seen his boyfriend since the start of the coach trip, Brendan's brilliant analysis that'he's bawling and shouting in the street, it's worse than a Mills and Boon, I tell yal' was spot on. He's not Brian Wicker as far as travelling experiences and anecdotes go, but he's a star nevertheless. ^t^oe^^^^njTov^retentjous^can^e^r^
attempting to describe why I watch such trivial pap on a daily basis that I justify which I watch the programme because of what I shamefully perceive as a social aspect that the show portrays. But it does a job in showing how bloody ignorant the British are abroad. Some people are so ignorant: getting drunk in restaurants like Jay, or, as Jodie and Jenna, two quintessential Essex girls, complained standing at the foot of a mountain in \ Switzerland: 'it's not nuffin' on Topshop.'
A horrible programme to watch at times, as people fall out and then awkwardly get along on the toun it's still far more impressive and less predictable than Come Dine With Me. When you've seen a fancy omelette and people getting drunk on CDWM that's it, you've seen everything; but there's nothing like seeing a few arguments and piss-ups on a coach winding itself round Europe.
COACH TRIP IS CURRENTLY AIRING ON CHANNEL 4 ON WEEKDAYS
Hi
GENDER.
Thel'Transition'
ALICE PELTON ON WHY ONE THING DOESN'T ALWAYS LEAD TO ANOTHER
A lot of things confuse me. Why do LSE students get so offended when they're offered a Chlamydia test on Houghton Street? ('Me?.' Me?! You're accusing ME of having Chlamydia!? How dare you? I'm middle-class!') Why do women seldom admit they masturbate? Why can men constantly play with their balls, when, if I stuck my hand down my trousers in public people would probably call the police? And why is the lead-up to having sex so nonsensically awkward?
I know I'm a pretty awkward person but after talking to a lot of women with a superfluity of dating and meeting men, I discovered I'm not alone in my anxieties. I'm not talking about fore-play here. Oh no, once you're at foreplay you're fine. You pretty much know what goes down -you finger her, she touches you...that's not too much of a problem once you pass the age of 15 and avoid men who've never done it before.
No, the 'Transition' is the term my friends and I use to describe that uncomfortable in-be-tween part of interaction before you have sex. It's when you've been joking around with your partner, having a little laugh about this and that, and then it shifts -somewhat uncomfortably- into passionate kissing and fucking each other's brains out.
How the hell do you reconcile the two? The 'fun-loving-and-like-totally-hilarious' you and the'l'm-so-sexy-pick-me-up-in-your-muscly-arms-and-throw-me-onto-the-bed-now' you are totally different aspects of one's personality. Going from 'jokey time' to 'sexy time' is no mean feat. They always say 'one thing led to another...' but in reality it's never that effortless.
If you're not sure what I'm talking about, then perhaps some standard thoughts experienced during'the Transition' will help you understand: 'If I sit on the bed now, then maybe he'll join me..but if he sits on that side of me I'm no good at giving hand jobs with my left hand.' 'Are my genitals clean enough?' 'Shit, what pants am I wearing?!' 'Am I close enough to go in for the kiss?' 'Will I be able to get it up...this time!?'
Such thoughts are fore-foreplay thoughts, but'the Transition' also begins at the front door of her house whilst you dither around to see if she will invite you in for'a drink', it begins at the restaurant table when desert is ordered, and when you're waiting for the bus home together.
The transition is stressful. I get told by friends 'oh come on Alice! Sex is all about not taking it so seriously! Just laugh with each other!' But for me this conjures an image of a couple in a toothpaste advert with ridiculously white teeth, pissing themselves whilst fucking like rabbits...look at us! We're laughing and having sex! Hahahahah...so much fun!'(See picture) No. I refuse to laugh whilst I have sex. Do you remember what happened last time? I dropped more fenny ferts than America dropped Napalm on Vietnam, and Banjo certainly doesn't'love the smell of Napalm in the morning.' I don't trust my vagina to laugh.
The biggest problem arises when 'the Transition' happens so suddenly that the words you last uttered - before you shut up and embark upon sex - hang in the air as unanswered remnants of conversation listlessly waiting to be claimed. I've lost count of the amount of times I've been talking to a boy about something completely unsex-related just before we've had sex. He'll say something like, 'Yeah I think I need to go and take a dump', and it will reverberate in my brain for hours afterwards, so that when we're having sex all I can picture is him taking a dump.
Some Transitions are notoriously harder than others for spatial reasons. I have a bloody 4 foot high bunk-bed (without a ladder) in my room at home, which makes sliding onto it with any ounce of seduction impossible. I either do a run and a jump onto it, or I have to say in a dead pan voice 'I think we should start having sex now, please can you lift me onto my bed. Thank you.'
You can even listen to your housemates' Transitions when they bring dates back home. Chad, still living in halls of residence, sent me an email the other day which simply read; 'My neighbour brought a girl back last night...their transition was awful.' If you overhear your housemate making grand (false) strategies such as,'Ooh...come over here and feel how soft my pillows are - they're from Marks and Spencers,' then you know that they are struggling to Transfer.
One of my worst Transitions came in the form of a toy-boy from Kings who I met whilst on the infamous AU Calella tour to Spain last Easter (let's call him Tag in honour of Rachel's play-thing in 'Friends.') On the last night of tour I made the mistake of dancing closely to Tag and the rest of his hockey team; within an hour he had picked me up over his hockey-chiselled shoulders and carried me back to his hotel. Thankfully the conversation wasn't too awkward upon leaving the noisy club, and I quite liked his boyish charms - he even asked me what degree I was studying and feigned interest in Anthropology, which he thought was the study of Ants. (He does go to Kings) So far our Transition was quite good.
Our departure from the club didn't evade the attention of the rest of his team,.who all followed us back to his room and proceeded to make any attempt at romance impossible. Shouting, bashing on the doors, throwing condoms at us, chanting, you name it - it was as if Tag had never pulled a woman in his life. I grew quite bored of the attention after a while and walked into the hotel corridor half-naked to tell them all to shut up.Then I returned to his room, and decided to speed things up by getting into the shower.
Tag heard the shower being turned on and practically salivating with excitement, he ran into the bathroom stark naked to join me. Except he catastrophically slipped over on the wet floor and flailing around he desperately grabbed hold of the shower curtain to catch his fall.This spectacularly failed; the sound of a bare arse hitting concrete reverberated around Spain - the entire shower rail and curtain crashed down around me, and I stood there completely flummoxed, whilst Tag lay sprawled like an injured stick-insect screaming 'AHHHH MY FUCKING ARSE!'
The image of his testicles flying through mid air was enough. There was no way we were going to have sex.The mood was ruined and there was nothing he could do about it; we passed out in bed together. The next morning my fellow 'mixed LSE hockey' teammates had grown worried about reports of my elopement with a member from the Strand 'enemy' and sent a Hotel Rep out on the hunt to find me so I didn't miss my flight home.
The Rep somehow managed to determine my whereabouts and knocked on Tag's hotel door. I felt like I was being picked up from a house party by my dad; the Rep frogmarched me to the lift and, noticing my bra stuffed into my hands, advised me that there 'were many people waiting downstairs in reception.' The lift doors opened and practically the whole of Kings University started chanting at me whilst a few of my LSE compatriots sat in the corner and clasped their hands to their faces in embarrassment. What a walk of shame.
Of course the solution to having a bad Transition is to get drunk.This way - when you walk into your bedroom, bang your head on the door frame, trip over and rip your tights, whilst simultaneously burping loudly and going in for the kiss - it is all blurred away in the depths of inebriation. In my view drunken sex really is like film sex. Your brain edits out all the awkward, manoeuvring around each other parts and the final copy you end up with the next morning is a pure masterpiece of seduction.
But drunken sex isn't real sex.You need to do that shit sober. You aren't in a Relationship with someone until you've both woken up completely compos mentis and seen each other's bodies - without the makeup, the stage lights and the gimp masks. With dawning verisimilu-tude you realise, 'shit there's a naked person in my bed.'And that's what real sex is all about.