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The newspaper of the London School of Economics Students'Union since 1949 • 12 February 2008 • Issue 681
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"Two-theatre solution" for UGM
» Televised feed planned to accomodate expected turnout for Israel debate
TIMOTHY ROOT
MANAGING EDITOE
Amotion widely viewed as a rewording of the controversial 'Make Apartheid History' motion will be proposed at this week's Union General Meeting (UGM), now without the contentious use of the word'apartheid'. The motion will again propose the establishment of a LSE Students'Union (LSESU) campaign to lobby the School and the National Union of Students (NUS) to divest from Israel and companies that support or profit from the Israeli occupation of Palestine.
The earlier motion fell by seven votes at the UGM in week three. Many students were alienated by the use of the word 'apartheid' and the failure of the text of the motion to include reference to peace or reconciliation.
The new motion, entitled 'Hold Israel accountable - Divest', largely embodies the spirit of the original motion, including calls to support Palestine solidarity organisations and affiliate the LSESU with the "international campaign to end the siege on Gaza".
However, the new motion removes reference to apartheid except when quoting those figures who have used it themselves, such as Desmond Tutu and Jimmy Carter, who have stated that Israel's treatment of Palestinians amounts to apartheid. The motion also notes that debate over the broader Israeli-Palestinian conflict should continue at the School, and that "no part of this motion should be seen as discriminating against students on the basis of their...views held on Middle East relations."
The previous motion was marred by controversy when at least 100 students were prevented from entering the UGM after Union officials were forced to bar entrance when the Old Theatre reached its capacity. There were also complaints that several non-LSE students managed to cast votes, and that it may have been possible for individual voters to acquire multiple ballot papers.
To solve overcrowding issues Union officials have organised a video link from the Old Theatre to an overspill room. Alternatively, some have called for an online voting system for the new motion, but this has been ruled out by LSESU Returning Officer
James Bacon. He told The Beaver,"We will not be utilising the online voting method for the vote due to voters not necessarily having attended the debate. An alternative method has been formulated and the Sabbaticals, UGM chair, chair of C&S and I will be discussing this prior to the UGM. An announcement will then be made at the UGM. This alternative method will hopefully correct the flaws of the previous method whilst retaining UGM sovereignty. Any proposal we consider will include a two-theatre solution. Reports to the contrary are incorrect to my knowledge."
Despite the new name, and claims by some that it is indeed a new motion, many consider it in effectively the same light as they did the original motion three weeks ago. AlexTej^elboym, who vocally criticised the original motion, told The Beaver that the new motion is every bit as divisive and counterproductive as the last. He said, "There is nothing genuine about this motion. If it were a genuine attempt, it would not need to use unreliable sources and state historical estimates and opinions as facts (like the previous one) to pass...The School will not and should not listen to this motion if it is passed.
LSE has never given in to a marginal political opinion, however prevalent it may seem at many UGMs."
He also said that "The with-us-or-against-us mentality was already caused by the previous motion. The only thing that this motion will do is worsen the situation. It is not going to help putting a cop-out clause in it. What we should be doing is talking about peace and peace only."
However Ziyaad Lunat, Palestine Society Chair, says that it is in the name of peace that this motion is proposed. He told The Beaver that "Peace can only arrive when Israel ceases its collective punishment of the Palestinian people and the illegal discriminatory practices that make conditional the Palestinian right to freedom."
In reference to week three's UGM, he went on to say, "We were very pleased with the previous discussion and the debate that ensued. The terrible violations of human rights in Palestine should be debated based on facts rather than manipulation and victimization. We urge LSE students to read the motion and to make an informed decision favouring human dignity over other petty considerations."
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V0TESU08: Pullout election guide & Sabb mid-term reviews
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02 leaver 112 February 2008 __NEWS
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Orphaid Foundation
GET Involved:
SHOP at the RAG stall on Houghton St!
T-Shirts include the world famous London School of Alcoholics and Houghton Street editions.
Or for those looking for a classy recepticle, there's the RAG pint glass!
COMPETE in the RAG Olympics on Wednesday 13th. Events range from marathons and egg-and-spoon to eating and 3-legged races. Also LSE's strongest man and woman competitions, featuring Keg crawls and arm wrestling!
GUNK a Sabb on Thursday 14th! Whichever Sabb's bucket received the greatest amount of donations gets covered in slime, what greater incentive could you need?
TOGA party on Thursday 15th! Pub crawl followed by Toga Crush!
ASSASINATE your class mates in a cross-campus game of manhunt known as 'Assassins'. The last one standing receives a £300 SMART PHONE! Sign up today, the games begin tomorrow!
HITCH to Paris 2008 (Friday March 14th - Sunday 16th) The challenge is to get to Paris in as fast a time as possible without spending any money on transport! Once there you have until midnight on Saturday to tour Pairs, meet up with the other adventurers and begin the party atmosphere for the evenings' celebrations and the party bus ride home organised by RAG!
More information at wrww.lsesurag.com/hitch-to-paris Latest sign up is Monday February 18th!
LEAP from a great height! Bungee jimiping is a pure adrenaline rush, and all you need to do is put down a £50 deposit which you'll get back as soon as you raise £100 in sponsorship. The jump will take place on Sunday May 4th, and last sign up is Friday February 15 th.
TRAVEL far and wide with the RAG Jailbreak! On this 36-hour international challenge the aim is to get as far away from LSE as possible and back again! Without spending any money on transport! All challengers depart LSE at midday on Friday 22nd and must return by midnight on Saturday 23rd! The more money you raise in sponsorship the more willing people are to give you a lift! Before you decide that it's impossible - start thinking BIGGER -raise lots of money in sponsorship from this Monday then start ringing airlines and see if you can blag a free flight somewhere - or else consider heading to Victoria Train station - they love Uni» Jailbreakers! Big prizes for Most Sponsorship Raised and Furthest Travelled!
WATCH LooSE'sRAG Reels! Friday at 6pm in the New Theatre is the finale of the competition, but you can check out the films being shown around campus during the week, and whichever film receives the most donations wins!
TUNE IN to Pulse's RAGathon, as all RAGathon DJs are forced to live on LSE campus all week long, and broadcast 24 hours a day all week. What a commitment! Show them you love them by listening in!
PAY your library fines! All the fines collected this week will go to the RAG week charities.
CHARITIES SUPPORTED:
aWaterAid
www.lsesurag.com


¦ mm 9-
MAP
MEDICAL AID FOR PALESTINIANS
NEWS
12 February 2008
Alarm masks Quad Cafe heist
ERICA GORNALL SENIOR REPORTER
In what has been described as a "malicious attack" by LSE's Head of Security, the contents of the Quad Cafe till was stolen on Tuesday morning, as students filed out of the East Building in what was assumed to be a fire drill.
However, it appears that the fire alarm had in fact been intentionally activated, and that during the alarm the till was ripped from its position and emptied. According to Student Union and Security sources, £376 was stolen.
One first year student, who was caught up in the confusion on Houghton St described how it was discovered that this was no ordinary fire drill.
"We didn't know whether it was a drill or a fire" , she said, "the fire wardens were trying to shepherd people out of Houghton street but didn't seem to really work. And then they gave an announcement at the end to say actually it wasn't a drill, it was a real incident"
The fire alarm was set off on the third floor of the East Building at around 11.43 am. Students came back to the Quad after being told that they coiild re-efiter the buildings, only to find the Quad Cafe till
c
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A forensic officer at work in the Quad
on the floor. The till could be reached through the shutters that were in place to protect it.
Head of Security, Paul Thornbury, speaking at the scene of the crime, said, "There has been a malicious activation of a fire alarm on the third floor of the East Building which may have been used to cover the activity of somebody coming into this cafe here and breaking into the till."
When asked whether the fire alarm was a drill, Thombury said he suspected that the alarm was "probably used as cover for this activity".
The Quad was quickly cordoned off until 4pm, with the usually busy lunch period becoming quiet and deserted. The Copy shop and Alpha Books on the Mezzanine level spent part of the day either closed or receiving very little
custom. The Students' Union shop remained open but security barred any access to the Cafe area.
The Quad Cafe, operated by the Students' Union, lost nearly an entire day's business.
LSE Security has confirmed that forensic officers have obtained substantial forensic evidence from the crime scene. However, they said that releasing any further
details at this stage could jeopardise the investigation.
The robbery is just one of many this year. Only the week before, a similar attack happened next door in the Garrick. Again, the fire alarm was set off and the till was raided. The difference was that the alarm was not set off intentionally, but by cooking smoke.
This similar robbery has raised concerns that gangs may be targeting the LSE. This academic year there have also been thefts from lockers. It is suspected by officials that such activities are not done by students, but professional gangs operating in the area.
Head of Security Paul Thornbuiy warned that students should be particularly careful in areas such as the Garrick. Again he emphasised the need to hide valuables from sight.
LSE Director, Howard Davies, pointed out to students at Thursday's Union General Meeting that as an open campus, crime would always be an issue at the School.
"Obviously if you recruited hard-edged security advisors, they would immediately tell you that you would have to control access to all of the buildings," said Davies.
"Nobody has wanted to go in that direction" Davies explained.
Davies tells UGM; LSE is being targeted by "professional" criminals
» Attempt to ban society endorsements fails - but other election changes carry
ESTEE FRESCO SENIOR REPORTER
LSE Director Howard Davies spoke to students at the UGM last Thursday about the recent incidences of crime, the 24-hour library campaign and the ongoing Israel-Palestine debate.
Opening with characteristic humour, Davies told students that he was glad to be speaking to the "Ken Livingstone campaign committee," a reference to the fact that two LSESU members signed a letter endorsing Livingstone for mayor that appeared in The Guardian.
Davies admitted that there are concerns about safety and school facilities on campus. The Director noted, "another tricky issue is crime" and acknowledged that the LSE has been targeted recently; the latest incidents in the Garrick and the East Building "looked like professional activities," he said. Dealing with crime on campus is difficult, Davies argued, because taking strong measures against crime, such as controlling individuals' access to buildings, creates a closed community. Reconciling the desire to have an open campus with security at the LSE is a difficult balance to strike, he continued. Davies noted that the university intends to move lockers into locations that are
more visible; many of the locker break-ins occur because the lockers are located in out-of the way places, such as the basements of buildings.
¦ "I am concerned about this," he said in reference to the printing situation in the library. The library has ordered new value loaders and eventually will move towards an online payment system. However, the system will not benefit students this year, as it will not be available until the summer. Davies acknowledged that the situation with printers was so bad that the school could not wait until the summer to fix it.
Lizze Fison, the LSE Students' Union (LSESU) Disability and Weil-Being officer, raised a concern about university residences, accusing the university of charging students with disabilities more money for accommodation than students who did not require adapted accommodation. She asked if Davies thought it was "morally or legally right" that students who require specially adapted accommodations are charged more for housing than the standard rate. Andy Farrell, the head of Finance and Facilities, responded by saying, "of course it's not right and that's not what we do."
Fison protested, saying that she had particular cases of it happening. Farrell agreed that if cases were brought to him, they would be immediately rectified. When asked if over-
charged students would be reimbursed, Davies replied, "If that is what we have been doing, then yes, we will."
Davies also raised concerns about community relations on campus in the wake of the Apartheid motion which fell in the UGM two weeks ago. "The moment has come perhaps to promote some dialogue," he told students'. The Israeli society will send a letter to other societies involved in the issue to suggest a dialogue and faculty with experience facilitating dialogue between disputing
groups may be involved in the process.
After Davies' appearance the UGM debated amendments to the Codes of Practice proposed by LSESU Returning Officer James Bacon relating to the conduct of LSESU elections. Bacon failed to ban society endorsements but several other amendments did pass.
The amendments were voted on separately. Students voted in favour of banning campaigning in student residences and computer rooms during hours of polling and to
UGM Motions 6 February 2008
Ban campaigning in student residences during polling hours
Limitpostering in Student Residences
Change nomination period to 11 th-l 8th Feburary
Ban society, sports team and hall committee endorsements
Prohibit use of websites to solicit votes
limiting the size and number of posters that candidates are permitted to put up in student residences. They also voted in favour of altering the times when candidate nominations open and close, moving it from the 14th-21st period to the llth-18th.
The two most contentious parts of the motion, banning candidate endorsements by societies, sports teams and hall committee and prohibiting the use of websites to solicit votes from electors, did not pass.
Speaking in favour of banning candidate endorsements, James Bacon noted, "this isn't about being populist, it's about being fair." Peter Barton, who spoke against the motion, argued that, in light of low voter turnout in LSESU elections, society endorsements are positive because they get "people out there to vote."
Dan Sheldon expressed displeasure that this part of the motion did not pass. "Society endorsements place too much power into the hands of too few," he argued. "It is common knowledge that some societies offer endorsements in return for favours from candidates, such as looking favourably upon society funding requests," Sheldon added.
For more information about the upcoming LSESU elections, see this week's election pull-out.
Union Jack
Incarceration	failed.
Persuasion was futile. Threats served no deterrence. What . does it take to halt the termly inquisition of Howie XVI? Perhaps only regicide will put an end to the cycle of accusations and ripostes, allegations and denial.
All it would take was a single brave; a noble servant of the Union who will readily forfeit his or her life to preserve the honour of the Convention. Sadly, the avarice that the Union once swore to destroy now pervades it. The greed that the Convention had committed to destroy had taken hold in the hearts and souls of all its brethren.
Gofie are the glory days of the Union. Gone are the days when principles were golden and pride was cherished. Never to return again are the times of purposeful action and resolute solidarity. The degeneracy of the Union has left the Convention virtually defenceless - no one has the mantle to uphold the sanctity of the Convention floor against the foul corruption that emanates from the felonious Howie.
So he strode unopposed to centre stage. No jeers, no catcalls. No smears, no jibes. The irreverent monarch waxed lyrical and spouted artful rhetoric. The Convention swayed in harmonious concord; their spoiled minds incapable of resistance or critical thinking.
Astonishingly, there was a handful that remained sober despite the intoxicating arcane magic. Pelting questions they came forth, but alas, even their best efforts were too feeble to pose any threat to the imperious Howie.
Then, as suddenly he came, the monarch excused himself from the Convention; his work was well and truly done, and his thousand-year Reich could only go on for longer than ever. Spellbound the Convention remained, but the refreshed Howie-love aside, it was_ business as usual. Democracy, or at least the pretensions for it, returned to the agenda.
With the pinnacle of Union politics looming in the near future, two plucky men stepped forth to duel for the fate of democracy. Liberal Sham-ocrat Jim "Not-Kev" Bacon sallied forth with his outrageous reforms and parried away they were by Tory-actionary Pea Braton. Not quite an epic gladiatorial contests, but Jack still derived some pleasure from the frail thrusts and feeble coun-terstrokes of the duelling duo.
But even among two mediocre pugilists, one had to fall. Bacon obliged readily, his unconvincing contentions and pathetic assaults quickly petered out of impetus. Braton had neither qualms nor conscience; giving no quarter to the expiring Bacon, he trod over the limp corpse of his fallen rival.
Jack's bloodlust was somewhat placated, but deep inside the thirst remains unquenched. But he knows that the Convention shall witness a pitched battle of a grand scale next week. Ethics and morality will be left at the door. Sharpened blades and bared knuckles. A bloodbath is forthcoming and Jack can't wait.
04 leaver | 12 February 2008
LSE students join pro-choice ralfy
ANTONIA STARCHEY
LSE students attended a pro-choice protest outside the Houses of Parliament on Wednesday, 6th of February in response to what Abortion Rights UK called 'Ann Widdecombe MP and Lord David Alton's "anti-abortion road show'".
The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill that has seen 4 Nobel Prize winners and 50 biomedical researchers co-sign a letter in protest has caused further controversy with both sides of the abortion lobby.
MPs have been tabling amendments to the bill that could change abortion regulations. It is not yet known whether the amendments will liberalise or restrict • terminations but tension has increased amongst campaigners on both sides.
On Wednesday, 6th February a sizeable crowed of several hundred pro-choice protesters, including some LSE students, gathered outside Central Hall Westminster. The protest had been called by Abortion Rights UK as a response to the meeting within that formed part of the pro-life "Not on your life... or anyone else's" campaign. Ann Widecombe MP and Lord David Alton were said to have been present at the meeting.
From the early evening protesters gathered outside the entrance to the hall. As numbers swelled police had to prevent them from spreading into the road. A small corridor opened up through the protest to allow those attending the
meeting to go inside. Police lined the path on both sides. The protesters chanted phrases like "Get Your Rosaries Off Our Ovaries!" at the attendees who occasionally responded.
A Goldsmith student, named only as Grace, reportedly attempted to gain access to the meeting but was forcibly restrained by the police. Louise Hutchins, the Campaign Coordinator for Abortion Rights UK said of those inside the meeting that "they want to turn the clock back on women's rights" and that her organisation was "determined to send a loud message to people in London that an overwhelming majority of people support a
"The amendments being tabled to the Bill by the conservative anti-choice lobby pose a serious threat to the reproductive rights of women"
Daisy Mitchell-Forster LSESU Women's Officer
woman's right to choose".
Luke Spyropoulos who organised the LSE contingent at the protest said of the event "you don't get anything done
without being a bit inflammatory".
Daisy Mitchell-Forster, the LSESU woman's officer said: "The amendments being tabled to the Bill by the conservative anti-choice lobby pose a serious threat to the reproductive
rights of women - this peaceful protest illustrated that the majority believe in a woman's right to choose. The high turnout was extremely positive and a students' pro-choice forum will be convening on Wednesday (tomorrow) in
HlOl at 11am to continue our defense of women's rights."
The bill has passed its third reading in the House of Lords. It is not knovra when it will be debated in the Commons but it is likely to be soon.
Loophole lets prisoners claim student loans
MICHAEL DEAS
NEWS EDITOR
Prisoners have claimed over £500,000 in student grants and loans for taking courses whilst in jail because of a loophole in the student loans system.
John Denham, the Universities Secretary, told Parliament that whilst the payments would be halted immediately the "unjustifiable provision" had been long established.
250 inmates have received grants worth £250,000 since 1998, including £120,00 in the last year, and a further 91 have been given repayable loans.
Mr Denham explained he believed payments were made in compliance with the law but that it was not "the intention of Parliament that prisoners, who are accommodated at public expense, should receive any additional form of financial support."
Payments to prisoners have now been halted and the Student Loans Company are to investigate the total cost of the loophole to tax payers.
The suspension relates only to England but Mr Denham has written to the devolved authorities "in case there are implications for them".
Stephen Williams, the Liberal Democrat universities spokesman, said, "No wonder students are on the breadline when the money meant to support them is being paid to serving criminals. Helping prisoners leam new skills is vital but it's madness to give them student grants for food and rent when they're already being looked after at Her Majesty's pleasure."
Mr Denham insists that education of offenders remains crucial to tackling crime.
About 600 inmates currently undertake part-time study whilst in prison and a smaller number are taking full-time courses.
Guidance attached to student loan application forms explain: "If you go to prison or are released from prison during the academic year, you may be able to receive grants... for a part-time undergraduate
Islam events enlighten
JOE RENNISON
The Islamic society ran 'Discover Islam Week' last week, with a series of events aimed at promoting the Muslim world. The week included talks, a one day fast, a calligraphy workshop and an afternoon trip to the Regent's Park Mosque.
Sadia Kidwai, who helped organise many of the weeks activities, explained that 'Discover Islam' week is important because "there's a bad image out there and what we want to show is the positive side".
Kidwai then explained, "it's not a reactive thing, it's just more important at the moment". Kidwai went on to mention that it is part of the role of the Islamic Society to hold events that teach other people about Islam, and that regardless of any political tensions the purpose of the week would remain the same.
In the same week that the Islamic Society decided to hold its events, the Archbishop of Canterbury received criticism for his support for the application of Sharia Law in certain legal cases in the UK.
Kidwai continued; "In this current day and age, the teachings of many religions are met with disdain, considered redundant and backward. Unfortunately, Islam is no
Photograph: Antonia Starchey
The Islamic Society oi^anised a exception, so one of the aims of Discover Islam Week is to demonstrate the current relevance of the world's fastest growing religion."
"Although our events are open to all LSE students through the year, we thought that a single week dedicated solely to inviting LSE students to leam more about the basic teachings of the religion wotdd be the most effective way of meeting the growing interest in Islam."
When asked about the compatibility of Islam and LSE, Kidwai responded "Islam and the daily routine of a Muslim student... offers a
trip to Regent's Park Mosque
complete perspective on life, one shaped by patience, humility, and a constant struggle to improve one's own character. This perspective is one that is vital in focussing students to pursue academic excellence and ... a higher cause of social justice and betterment of society, not to fulfil ones ego and desires."
Kidwai told The Beaver that last year the Islamic society raised somewhere in the region of £20,000 for charity and that all the proceeds from this years events will go to the RAG society for them to distribute.
Camden Town is burning down
FLAMES as high as 100ft engulfed parts of Camden Market on Saturday night. 100 firefighters took six hours to control the blaze, which destroyed the Canal Market and celebrity hotspot The Hawley Arms. As The Beaver went to print, investigators said they knew where the fire stated, but police were not ready to say how it began. The market, which opened in 1974, attracts up to 300,000 people each weekend.
Headless corpse found in Kilbum
A man has appeared in court following the discovery of a headless male corpse wrapped in blankets behind shops in Kingsgate Place, Kilburn. Mohamed Boudjenane, 45, appeared at Highbury Magistrates Court yesterday. The head of the corpse, identified as 43 year-old Algerian Mohamed Boudjenane, was found in St Johns Wood.
London feshion week begins
OVER two hundred designer labels will showcase their new collections outside the Natural History Museum this week. Vivienne Westwood's return to the catwalks after a nine-year absence on Thursday evening is being billed as the highlight of the event. This is the last year in which models will not have to present the London Fashion Council with a medical certificate of good health from a doctor to the British Fashion Council in order to take part.
livin^one grilled at London Assembly
MAYOR of London Ken . Livingstone was questioned for almost three hours by members of the London assembly over allegations or corruption and cronyism. His senior race advisor, Lee Jasper, has been accused of using his position to fund development projects with which he had a personal connection. The accusations are the latest in a series of scandals which have dogged the Mayor as he campaigns for re-election in the May 1 poll.
Evening Standard reveals black cab price rise
KEN Livingstone has approved a black cab price rise that is double the rate of inflation. In his eight years as Mayor he has approved nine such rises. A 20p levy intended to help cabbies pay for adding environmentally-friendly measurers to their cabs in 2005 has been removed and replaced by this rate increase.
leaver I 12 February 2008 105
Development auction raises £5,000 for the Grameen Foundation
HENRY LODGE NEWS EDITOR
Last week's schedule of Development related events was crowned by the Development Society auction, which raised in excess of £5000 for the Grameen Foundation. The final figures have yet to be released, and will be combined with the funds raised from the separate Athletics Union Auction to be held this week.
The auction saw Director Howard Davies sell for £969, the highest bid of the night. Each person up for auction had to perform a trick or skill for the audience, which saw, fencing, capoeira, hair removal, culinary prowess and a very unconvincing soulja boy dance, amongst other things. Davies played the trombone and sang a song he had wrritten himself, and later lost a pint-drinking contest to LSESU Societies Officer Carys Morgan. Her quaffing talents saw Miss Morgan bought for £150 by celebrity faculty member
Danny Quah. Professor Quah's flying backspin kicks that obliterated wooden blocks saw him sell for £270.
Attendance at other events was so impressive that some people had to be turned away from Friday's event, a seminar
"The English, the English, the English are best, I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest."
Howard Davies LSE Director (Chorus of his song)
entitled: "Photojournalism as a medium for international development awareness: A case study on modem-day slavery in Brazil."
Although 'Development Week' is officially over, the events are set to continue next week with a talk given by Dr. Muhammad Yunus, founder of the Grameen foundation and a pioneer in the field of microfi-nance.
Malvika Saraogi, president of the Development Society admitted that development has been a "postgraduate-heavy issue, due mainly to the fact that there are far more graduate courses on the subject than there are undergraduate ones, but our society and its events are open to everyone."
The development society has run a 'Development Week' since its foundation, looking to educate students on the issues involved. "This year we've really tried to focus on the careers side of things, and with some success," said Saraogi, "there was a development careers fair on Tuesday, and the careers service has done more this year [in development] than before."
rholo: Felipe
LSE Director Howard Davies blows his trombone as a call to bidders for his company/connections
Supreme Court Justice Scalia speaks on politicisation of the judiciary
HENRY LODGE NEWS EDITOR
Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia came to the LSE and delivered a lecture on the politicisation of the judicial system. Scalia seemed at ease with the student audience, and even had them laughing with him when he expressed climate change scepticism.
Introduced by chair Professor Hugh Collins as 'Bush's favourite judge', Scalia told the audience that judges should not be moral arbiters and decried the abundance of judicial branches that adopted the 'living constitution' philos-
ophy that gave birth to the 'liberal' rulings of the Warren Burger court of the 1970s . He ridiculed the view that it was a judge's duty to interpret the constitution in such a way as to "mark the progress of a maturing society - societies only mature, they never rot!"
He spoke of the danger of the "abstract moralising" that judges do today, speaking of a recent case that the court was prepared to look at again in the future: "a constitutional right assisted suicide? Stay tuned...", and a recent European court of justice ruling on whether or not a five man orgy that was videotaped was within the bounds of the law that said "sex orgies elimi-
nate social tensions and ought to be encouraged."
It was clear from the question and answer session that Scalia's position of judicial restraint was at odds with the audiences' more activist leaning, but Scalia remained calm, at one point joking,"let's have a friendly question, please."
Scalia's delivery remained confident throughout, employing an incredulous voice when quoting his detractors' complaints. Only when asked about the international criminal court did he adopt a grave tone. He said he would be "darned" if his son, a West Point graduate who had pursued a military career, were to be tried outside the United States.
'hoto: LSE Press Office




Supreme Court Justice Scalia speaks in the Old Theatre
Ken will support TfL campaign
KATIE JANE PEEK
Ken Livingstone has pledged to extend Transport for London's (TfL) student discount scheme to include the One Day Travelcard should he be reelected as Mayor of London.
The University of London Union (ULU) has long campaigned in favour of increased discounts for London's stu-
"I want to make sure that everyone can participate in London's success...this commitment is a practical step to reduce the financial burden for students in this city"
Ken Livingstone Mayor of London
dents, who are studying and living in the world's second most expensive city.
The current TfL scheme for students provides thirty percent discount on weekly and monthly transport passes only
- thereby disadvantaging those who make less frequent journeys or merely wish to pay on a daily basis. Livingstone, who became Mayor when the post was created in 2000, has committed himself to supporting the popular student campaign. Livingstone promises to cap daily fares for London's students by thirty percent.
The change will save
and this commitment is a practical step to reduce the financial burden for students in this city"
Despite being a step in the right	direction,
Livingstone's pledge fails to meet the full demands of the ULU campaign -providing no further discount for single
students an estimated £5million per year. As the only mayoral candidate to have proposed this policy, Livingstone is clearly looking to appeal to students -who will form a large part of the electorate in the May 1®^ elections.
On announcing his pledge. Ken Livingstone said, "I want to make sure that everyone can participate in London's success
fares, which will remain at the standard Oyster price. ULU resolves to continue working with the Mayor's office to ensure that students get the best possible deal for transport in the city - perhaps leading to further discounts in the future.
Ashley McAlister, ULU Vice President (Education and Representation) said, "This wasn't the full extent of ULU's campaign but we are happy that the Mayor considers student travel a priority issue and has included it in his manifesto. Students make up a large proportion of the population in London and will no doubt consider the Mayors pledge on student travel when deciding who to vote for in the elections."
061 Beaver I 12 February 2008
COMMENT^I^
COMMENT&ANALYSIS
c&a@thebeaveronline.co.uk
NALYSIS
Old SU traditions die hard
Sh^aan Afear
Our Students' Union seems so often to be set in an age of times gone by; from decor to organisation, our Union could be improved in so many ways
They say don't question traditions. Four years in the best social science institution in the world has taught me to do the exact opposite. People refer to the 'student lifestyle' as if it were ¦ some sort of fixed institution that has withstood the test of time. Three yejirs in the Finance and Services Committee (F&S) of the LSE Students' Union has taught me that this too is not true. National trends in the student body indicate that behaviour and attitudes amongst students are changing in a variety of areas, from falling levels of pubbing and clubbing to rising numbers of part-time stu-
dents. It is these trends that the Students' Union must respond to or we risk having an out of date Union that has lost touch with reality.
It is apparent that our current 'business plan' needs a radical rethink. Attendance at Crush, traditionally considered the most fashionable student night in London, is declining, while student numbers in higher-end clubs is on the rise. The couches and tables in the 3 Tuns look out of place in a modem student bar. The 3 Tuns decor has to be revamped so that it looks like a lively bar that people would like to have a drink and a chat, not lie down and fall asleep in.
The Underground (including the 3 Tuns Kitchen) also has to become more inviting, where currently the dinginess and poor decor discourages students from making the effort to go down there to order food. Use of the 3 Tuns Kitchen is also poor. The Students' Union catering services need to adapt to what students want, such as hot food in a quiet, relaxed area that does not look like a large canteen.
It is also clear that the Students' Union is lacking efficiency. For example, the current society table-booking system at SU reception is in a state of chaos. In my joint role as a member of F&S and one of the receptionists, I have been working with the Reception Administrator and SU Treasurer to revamp the system so that societies should be able to book tables in advance without the Students' Union having to turn too many societies away who request a table on the day.
A complacent attitude in the current society budget application system leads to a confusing mess where society
treasurers have historically not received sufficient guidance. Better guidance is required on what societies can apply for, how much things are likely to cost and how much the Students' Union will realistically award societies. Every
k
Attendance at Crush, traditionally considered the most fashionable student night in London, is declining, while student numbers in higher-end clubs is on the rise
year the new Treasurer resigns him or herself to providing a couple of training sessions for new societies and publishing a Finance Pack which- few new society treasurers get to read.
Pledging more funds to societies is the traditional response to under-spending by some societies and the exhaustion of funds by other societies. The answer to the problem lies instead in a more efficient and transparent budget application process.
One important aspect of SU finances is its investment strategy. UGM motions alter the investment strategy in an ad hoc manner and the need for a comprehensive ethical investment strategy is urgent. The uncontroversial nature of
the arms divestment and Sudan divestment motions in the UGM reaffirms that LSE students do believe that the LSE Students' Union should invest in an ethical manner.
Student issues do not simply revolve around Students' Union services but must also reflect the society that students collectively wish to live in. We must begin to acknowledge commercial and political trends and take them for what they are; a reflection of a student voice and a call for new traditions and new norms. My only hope is that whoever the LSE student body elects to be their new Sabbatical Officers, those Sabbatical Officers acknowledge the needs of the hour and address them effectively.
Building a student driven SU
Aled Fisher
There remain a great number of challenges that we face as students, and a well organised Students' Union is something to benefit us all
I am proud to be at LSE with its Union that is the envy of others for its high participation and active campaigns. But this reputation is at risk if we cannot tackle threats to education that now confront us on campus. Rather than trade insults with another candidate, I would rather focus on the kind of Union we need now more than ever; to unite students, to invigorate participation and to build mass campaigns on the issues we really care about.
LSE students are paying astronomical fees - not to mention accommodation and living costs - to study at an elite institution. But are we getting value for money? Domestic fees have risen to £3000, international fees are spiralling, and postgraduates suffer even more - but has there been an increase by the same factor in the provision of high quality facilities, access to welfare, or improvement in our academic experience?
A key problem at LSE is communication - communication between tutors and their students, communication between departments and administrative sections, communication between those
involved in day-to-day operations and those at the top. One member of staff recently commented that they first find out information about issues under their division from The Beaverl
That is not to say that staff, academics and students do not want to provide the best education possible. Most staff I sit in meetings with have their hearts in the right place. But there is so much apathy, discontent and disconnection among students because we cannot participate in the decisions that affect our university experience. The voices of students need to be heard loud and clear at every level of the school - we need to participate at every stage in how our fees are spent. The Union must build mass campaigns involving all students at LSE on the academic and welfare problems that have accumulated for years, and until now, have been simmered below the surface.
The huge interest generated by the 24-hour library campaign - gathering 1300 signatures - is symbolic of wider dissatisfaction over the gap between our expectations and what we receive for our money.
Mass campaigns like this are what we need to advance our rights.
But it doesn't need to stop there. It isn't a choice between defending our rights on campus and campaigning on progressive issues in wider society - we can do both. Students
Critics say that the Union is a circus of animosity that neglects the real issues we face at university
don't exist in a vacuum - we are a part of the local community and wider society. Critics will say we can't achieve change - but when else are we going to be in a position where we have the opportunities we have now? Before we have
families and jobs, we can be a powerful force for social change, and for solidarity with other students and the oppressed.
Last year students won a Living Wage for staff at LSE, and have carried that movement on to win at places that LSE students may one day work, like Citigroup. The campaign has now been taken into the local community vsdth the Living Wage Aldwych initiative, working with students at Kings to build links and lift hundreds of low-paid staff out of poverty. The campaign involves identifying key decision-makers and obstacles and then using sound argimients, lively protest and vociferous campaigning to make a positive difference. This is the Lat 5!ixjenB uwsn Uizsos fof Sot-a Juste Sccay
LSE-jt's time to clean up your 3Ct!
model we can use for taking on student issues and holding the school to account. This is the model of building campaigns to fight and vnn on even bigger issues - opposing student fees, opposing the war or calling for better environmental facilities.
Critics say that the Union is a circus of animosity that neglects the real issues we face at university; I experienced that when I picked up The Beaver before class last Tuesday to read personal attacks against myself from a person I had never met. However, this approach is exactly the kind of "infantile" political point-scoring comparable with the worst of student politics that the writer correctly identified elsewhere in his article. I do hope that he,
and others, will be getting behind campaigns that unite students and fight for our rights.
Our time at university should be the most inspiring of our lives - we have the opportunity, in this lively intellectual and political environment, to work together to defend our rights and to make progressive change in society at large. Students have had so much success in the past - winning rights, transforming society, even stopping wars - and we have so much potential at LSE to make greater strides in the future.
Let's use our collective power to defend, extend and deepen our rights, and build a campaigning and participatory Union for us all.
uldyou neon
hour?

COMMENT&ANALYSIS		leaver 12 February 2008 07
COMMENT^	^ANALYSIS	c&a(ffithebeaveronline.co.uk
		
It's not going away
r
Emiliano Huet-Vaughn
Objections by fair-minded students to the word "Apartheid" in the previous Israel divestment motion have been taken into consideration
Three weeks ago, the Palestine Society submitted a motion to the UGM that called on our school to remove its investments in the Israeli government and companies that materially support or profit from its illegal occupation of Palestine. The "Make Apartheid History" motion highlighted the well-documented record of human rights abuses committed by Israel and made the analogy between the racially discriminatory policies of South African Apartheid, and the policies with which Israel rules over the Palestinians in the Occupied Territories.
This week we have submitted a revised motion to be debated at Thursday's UGM. It preserves the original aim of ethical investment of university funds, but makes specific changes to accommodate the concerns some fair-minded students had with the previous motion. The aim is to achieve a broad consensus in support of a motion backing international law and Palestinians' human rights.
If we take at face value the words of those who spoke
against our first motion, such a consensus should not be difficult to achieve. During the UGM debate there was expressed agreement on all sides that Palestinians are indeed victimised by the Israeli military, with the primary speaker against the motion stating "most people would acknowledge that we need to express solidarity with the Palestinian cause." Objections to the previous motion - which at its core was such an expression of "solidarity" - therefore revolved not around the facts of Israeli human rights abuses or the staid tactic of divestment, but instead around contested terminology and worries about the implications of the motion on campus life.
One objection made during the debate was to the application of the word "Apartheid" in the Israeli context. While we can not accept the disingenuous allegations of some who say to use an Apartheid analogy is an insult to black South Africans who lived under Apartheid (when it is the leaders of the South African anti-apartheid movement them-
selves who push such an analogy. Do they therefore insult themselves?), we do recognise that analogies, because they are imprecise comparisons, are
we ao recognise that analogies, because they are imprecise comparisons, are bound to provoke it <
bound to provoke debate from well-meaning people over how closely the analogy fits. We have made the case previously in the pages of The Beaver for why the analogy is a close one, and the UN has done so even more thoroughly, and we stand by our original position that Israeli policy in the Occupied Palestinian 'Territories bears a
strong resemblance to the policies of systematic racial discrimination practiced under South African apartheid.
However, it would be foolish and unreasonable for us to allow disputes about terms to stand in the way of consensus when most people agree that the crimes of the Israeli occupation are to be deplored. .Thus, we have chosen to refrain from having the Union use explicit Apartheid language in our new motion, focusing instead on the specific and undeniable crimes of Israel's occupation; the home demolitions, the land theft, the annexation wall, the Jewish-only settlements and roads, the bombings of civilian areas, the collective punishment in Gaza - all illegal under international law.
Another concern raised during the motion debate was whether those supporting the motion were sufficiently committed to seeking peace in the Middle East. We took it for granted that all students at our school seek peace and were particularly surprised by the failure of some on the other side of this issue to be as charitable to the half of the student audience that voted for the motion. That the language of our motion focused on principles of justice and human
rights law should not have been interpreted as a rejection of the language of peace since the very foundation of the international human rights law to which we appealed is the aspiration for a just and peaceful world. However, to ensure that there is no confusion this time, we make such sentiments explicit in our new motion, noting the worthiness of a peace based on justice and that "attacks on innocent, unarmed civilians, whether carried out by Palestinians or Israelis, are to be condemned."
Other erroneous allegations levelled at our first motion were that the motion would close down debate at the LSE or in some undefined way discriminate against students from Israel or those who dissent from the motion. Nothing could be further from the truth. Our original resolution put no prohibition on student views and we assumed that no one would make the irrational leap from criticism of a nation's policies to criticism of students who come
from that nation. Nonetheless, to prevent misunderstanding from well-meaning people, our new motion makes clear our desire for sustained debate and reaffirms the school's opposition to discrimination towards students on the basis of their views, nationality, or religion.
No doubt, some will still object to our revised motion. Some will once again misrepresent it and paint it as "extremist." Our hope is that our fellow students will see through these accusations given the seriousness and pragmatism with which we have accommodated our class mates' concerns. Support for human rights and international law is not a view held at the margins of society. It is the consensus view of LSE students. As we did last year with Sudan, by voting to divest school funds from Israel, we can send a clear message to those in charge of our school that we want LSE investments to be in line with that consen-
Guess who's back ?
Alex Teytelboym
The latest Constitution and Steering Committee (C&S) meeting reminded me of Salvador Dali or a Man Ray film. It had a boring start, but gradually slipped into a vortex of incomprehensible voices, laughter and sarcastic smiles and by the end the whole thing felt surreal. Unfortunately, as with (some of) Ray's films, we cannot dismiss the C&S as a rubbish work of art, because it is a crucial part of the Union bureaucracy - an impartial and blind Justitia, protector of our
Risen from the dust, the "new" Israel divestment motion contains the same essential elements, just made superficially more palatable for the wary
Constitution. It is supposed to be so impartial that we even force its election candidates to declare their political party memberships.
In the last couple of years, C&S has been sacked for every reason - from standing against a degrading, chauvinist spectacle (upholding the Constitution) to imposing harsh penalties on PuLSE during elections (upholding the Constitution). But although now Justitia has lifted her blindfold and has been flagrantly partial toward the Israel divestment lobbyists, UGM refused to sack her.
Here are the people who lifted the blindfold from our Lady Justice; Joseph Brown, secretary of both C&S and the Palestine Society; Abz Hussain, member of the
Palestine Society and actively campaigned for the motion; and Nadeem Saumtally, not member of Palestine Society, but joined the Facebook group nevertheless and stayed there after the motion fell. The prob.-lem is there are seven members of C&S; one of whom quit, which makes them six. The Chair cannot vote unless there is a tie, which leaves five voting members, and therefore the impossibility of a tie. With this set-up, C&S disgracefully advised to dismiss the decision of the most well-attended UGM in recent history by three
votes to two in a secret ballot. Joe Meadway, the Chair of the UGM, did not feel obliged to listen to this decision and correctly upheld the students' decision. Because C&S wastft sacked, and its seventh member was still to be elected, its composition did not change at the last meeting, and thus C&S decisions remain completely in line with the desires of the proponents of the "new" divestment motion. Here is why
Firstly, the proposers believed that the only thing that the opponents of the motion disagreed with, was that it avoided the discussion of peace. In fact, with four minutes on stage, the opponents of this motion simply didn't have the time to argue about the numerous inconsistencies of the motion and simply pointed out the flaw, not only in the motion, but also in the mindsets its proposers.
Second, the proposers of this new motion believe that by inserting a clause that we should continue discussion and preserve the integrity of this Union, that it will actually happen. This is surreal. What effect does putting something dovm on paper and doing the opposite have (Israeli and Palestinian governments criticise each for doing it and it
doesn't help their people)? The political egos of the proposers of the new motion have already cornered moderate opinion and violently divided the student body. But this damage can be repaired; the Israel and Jewish societies were the first ones to recognise this by sending an open letter to the Islamic and Palestine societies.
Third, this motion refuses
this motion will achieve little, except deepen the wound which this Union has only just started to heal
to state facts. In this prestigious academic institution, we are very aware of using reliable sources, but to quote the same three texts to describe the expulsion of Arabs during the conception of the state of Israel in 1948 is simply insulting to students and scholars of this crisis. As has been pointed out before, even the formidable scholars of this debate, Noam Chomsky and Alan
Dershowitz, cannot always agree on the facts. I believe that reliable sources can be found which contradict all (apart from UN resolutions and IJC rulings) the "facts" in this motion.
Fourth, the proposers of the motion feel bold enough not only to bully our General Secretary with the An-Najah twinning letter, but also to influence C&S in taking their purely poUfical motion to a cross-campus ballot. Have you heard of any charity which holds a general vote on a political issue? The proposers of the motion are desperate to give it legitimacy - the supposedly impartial C&S secretary suggested, "here is the deal - we take out the first paragraph and the Israel Society votes for it." He then suggested putting the divestment motion before Libby Meyer's sensible student welfare motion.
This motion is not a compromise, it is factually incorrect, and if I had more lines on these pages I would explain fully. I would prefer to meet someone on Houghton Street who didn't talk to me about justice through destroying Israel, but about peace through an intelligent discussion. Because of the School's clear intention not to divest from Israeli companies (at least because that would harm Palestinians more than anyone), this motion will achieve little, except deepen the wound which this Union has only just started to heal.
08 Beaver I 12 February 2008
COMMENT&ANALYSIS
COMMEN
ANALYSIS
c&a@thebeaveronline.co.uk

A calm look at Sharia
Hudda Khaireh
The storm following The Archbishop of Canterbury's comments on Sharia law in Britain needs to be examined with a cool head
The Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams stated that he never dreamt his speech, given next door to us at the Royal Courts of Justice, could have ever sparked so much controversy. But indeed it has, and the political and media maelstrom his comments have created has lead to a collective outcry of vitriolic condemnation from all quarters and baying crowds calling for his resignation.
However is this reaction actually warranted? Looking at the substance of Dr Williams' speech, we see a man of conviction asking that the state consider the wants and needs of religious individuals within our legal system. He did not state that there should be a parallel legal system. He made this abundantly clear from his statement, "That principle that there is only one law for everybody is an important pillar of our social identity as a western democracy".
Despite what certain politicians and newspaper columnists would have us believe, English law recognising the specific needs of indi-
viduals is not an alien concept divorced from British jurisprudential history. Dr Williams himself took as example the Jewish Beth Din, rabbinical courts, established
the media reaction is constructed, rather than refleGti\re of the
rei:
through UK statute more than a century ago where civil law matters were adjudicated on using Jewish law. Indeed, "the law in many areas of public life already accommodates for people's personal and religious convictions such as the 1967 Abortion Act, which allows doctors to abstain for reasons of conscious in termination
procedures. Even in our fiscal system (which previously made those who wished to avoid paying interest on stamp duty pay the tax twice), the Treasury has recently approved reform to stamp duty charges on mortgages enabling Muslims to perform Sharia compliant transactions.
Vocal critics of Dr Williams, including Douglas Murray from the Centre for Social Cohesion think tank, note the 'unfair treatment' Muslim women would receive under Sharia. However in Ontario, Canada, where Sharia law had been incorporated into the greater legal arbitration system, extensive investigation by their Attorney-General Marion Boyd showed no evidence of women being unfairly discriminated against in the system. Although 2005 saw an end to all forms of religious arbitration included in the civil law system, this decision has been roundly criticised by commentators, who note the increased backlog in cases for adjudication and the lack of supervision and monitoring of religious courts, now largely outside the Court sys-
tem.
Perhaps the source of this unbridled vehemence is the suggestion that our Courts should specifically allow Shariah law at all; understandable given the gross misrepresentation of Sharia, largely from so called Islamic states who abuse the laws for their own interests. Sharia law, much like English law is a complex system, open to many interpretations and should not be regarded as a monolithic institution.
With respect to the view of British Muslims, the media reaction is constructed, rather than reflective of the reality.
Polls show that 60% of Muslim Britons today have no desire to see Sharia law in practice. Furthermore Islam makes it clear that Muslims are under an obligation to follow the law of the land, even in non-Muslim countries. Historically in the times of the Prophet Muhammad, while Muslims fled from persecution in Arabia to the Christian lands of Abyssinia, they still commanded to adhere to Abyssinia's laws.
The Archbishop of Canterbury does not speak for Muslims, nor did he profess to. His use of Sharia as an example of a way of engaging faith groups within the legal system has exposed our media and politicians' fundamental misunderstanding and distnist of the system. Perhaps these groups should look to what Muslims want first before pronouncing their own verdicts.

Erosion of civil liberties
Anjali Raval
The actual benefits derived from proposed antiterrorism legislation are difficult justify, but their negative impact on civil liberties is obvious
This week I was lucky enough to be part of an audience with Shami Chakrabarti, Director of the ffressure group Liberty, and have limch with Tony McNulty MP, Minister of State - not bad for one week's work! To make it more interesting they both sit on opposite sides of the fence with regard to recent and proposed anti-terror legislation. I haven't quite worked out myself which side the grass is greener, but the experience was definitely thought provoking. .
In a recent debate featuring both Chakrabarti and McNulty titled "How should democracies fight terrorism?", McNulty declared quite emphatically that the previous government had made a mistake by saying that "the rules
of the game had changed". He also recently asserted that we have to fight terrorism on the basis of rules and ideas we have built on over centuries stating "the new politics is the same as the old politics". However, post 7/7, Tony Blair has argued that people must be ready to accept reductions in their civil liberties in the fight against terror, since the rules had changed, with a raft of legislative measures unveiled to tackle terrorism, including tougher deportation and extradition powers, a new offence of glorifying terrorism, and powers to close places of worship. The current Labour government lead by Gordon Brown is still adamant on pushing through the legislation extending the number of days a prisoner can be held
without charge to 42 days. I can personally not see or understand how this is compatible with their claim that "the more any response is rooted in our civil liberties and human rights...the better". As Chakrabarti points out, in the UK, standing at 28 days, we already have the longest pre-charge detention period in the EU. There is no question in my mind that the extension will violate individuals' basic right to liberty - something that I consider to be fundamental and inalienable. If however, the government were able to legitimately justify the need for this extended period to protect UK citizens, I would deem it a reasonable debate. It is claimed that the extension is needed to gather and process the complex evidence in terrorism investigations, but it has yet to be demonstrated that the current detention time-limit is a serious impediment to such investigations.
In the UK we have always prided ourselves on being at the forefront of the civil rights movement. We celebrate our multiculturalism and our diversity but it becomes a farce in the face of our terror laws. It almost feels that the Government is using terrorism as an excuse. As Chakrabarti argued, while 9/11 was defi-
nitely an accelerating force in the reduction of our civil liberties, the trends were already there. We already had an arguably draconian assortment of terror laws; it just seems that things such as secrecy and surveillance have become "acceptable" since
k

while 9/11 was definitely an accelerating force in the reduction of our civil liberties, the trends were already there
9/11. As Ben Ward, associate director at Human Rights Watch Europe and Central Asia said, "The British government's plan to extend pre-charge detention is a recipe for alienating communities vital to defeating terrorism."
Pre-charge detention is not the only controversial legislation that has been introduced in the fight in the "war of terror". Sitting in on an address by Jacqui Smith to ministers regarding the review
carried out by the Chief Inspector of Constabulary, Sir Ronnie Flanagan, I heard the term "stop and search" banded about. Smith announced back in January that the "red tape" in the form of extra paperwork for stop and search would be abolished. As much as a fan I am of the abolishing red tape, I can't help but think that the purpose of those forms was to keep a check on whether ethnic minorities were being unfairly targeted. I have little doubt that they are targeted, and I personally know many people who have been stopped and searched. As a law abiding citizen I don't have a problem with the idea if it is going to protect citizens from crime and terrorism, even if it does infringe on our civil liberties. My only qualm is the basis that police seem to be targeting people on. As one enlightened minister suggested to Smith, "stop and search should be carried out on an informed, rather than a prejudiced basis".
Perhaps the terrorist threat has been more imminent in the wake of this century; however we cannot start denying people basic human rights. These are rights that people struggled for over centuries and it's a steep and slippery slope dowm if we start ignoring them. It's for people like us to discuss and debate these ideas. Be for tougher legislation, or be against it; but don't be indifferent.

EXECUTIVE EDITOR
Kevin Perry
MANAGING EDITOR
Timothy Root
SECRETARY
Illy Yang
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Michael Deas Henry Lodge Patriclc Cullen
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Josh IHeller
PART C EDITOR
Romola Fawehimni
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Josh Tendeter Sophie de la Hunt
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Chair: Lucie Marie Goulet i.m.goulet@lse.ac.uk Raidev Akoi; Hasib Baben Fadhil Bakeer-Markar; Vishal Baneijee; W!l Barber; Peter Barton; Ramsey Ben-Achour; Clem Broumley-Young; James Bull; Rochelie Burgess; Sam Burke; Jess Canwright; Victor Figueroa-Clark; Patrick Cullen; Peter Currie; Holll Eastman; Ossie Fikret; Aled Dllwyn Rsher; Lizzie Rson; Estee Fresco: Justin Gest; Erica Gornall; Andrew Hallett Aula Hariri; Kevin Heutschi; Tahiya Islam; Felipe Jacome; Lois Jeary; William Joce; Adam John; Naeem Kapadia; Bernard Keenan; Pooja Kesavan; James Keiteringhom; Sadla Kldwai; Arthur Krebbers; Laura Kyrke-Smiih; Eric Lindquist; Bea Long; Ziyaad Lunaf; Fiona Mackay; Nada Mansy; Jamie Mason; Al Mansour; Nitya Menon; Irfan Merali; LIbby Meyer; Anno MIkeda; Ravi Misfry; Daisy MItchell-Forster; All Moussavi; Adin Nangia; Rachaei O'Rourke; Davfci Ost>orn; Aba Osunsade; Dougkis Oliver &in Orozco; Phil Pacanowski; Laura Partttt; Anup Patel; Rajan Patel; Will Peny; Chioe Pieters; Alice PfeWer; Danielle Prtesiiey; Joe Quaye; Rahlm Rohemiulla; Dominic Rampat; AnIaB Raval; Ricky Ren; Sacha Robetimed; Louise Robinson; Charlie Samuda; Thienthai Sangkhaphanthonon; Amrita Soraogi; Saurabh Sharma; Daniel Sheklon; Rebecca Stephenson; Andre Tortar; Sam tempest-Keeping; Alex Teytelboym; Keny Thompson; Mewem Torun; Anaus Tse; Molly Tucker; Ruchika Tulshyan; Vladimir Unkovski-Korica; Subash Viroomal; Simon Wang; Greg White; Tom WhHtaker; ChriMine Whyte; Chris Wilklns; Amy Williams, Chun Han Wong; Da\nd Woodbridge
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COMMENT&ANALYSIS
Beaver
12 February 2008
COMMENT
¦©
ANALYSIS
c&a@thebeaveronline.co.uk
leaver
Established 1949 - Issue 681
Motion return...
.was always inevitable after Union failings.
The Beaver welcomed the way in which the 'Make Apartheid History' campaign invigorated and refreshed student debate at the LSE. Not only was it a positive sign to see the UGM packed to the rafters, but it is undoubtedly good and important that the Students' Union debates these important issues. And now we will get the chance to debate them again. Which is nice.
However, it is worth stating that while the slightly reworded motion may seem like a cynical manoeuvre, it was in fact a political inevitability. In the wake of the first motion this paper reported the numerous failings in the electoral system, from the fact that many of the people outside the Old Theatre were unable to vote and more still were unable to hear the debate, to the fact that there were no secure measures to ensure that all students were in fact legitimate members of the LSESU. Furthermore, reporters from this paper and many others were breezily handed multiple ballot papers, not to mention the master copy that was found in the Copy Shop photocopiers.
It was these failings by our own Union officials, rather than Machiavellian machinations from either side of the debate, that really made a re-run of that UGM a foregone conclusion. Particularly when the wafer thin nature of the vote was revealed - four people voting the other way would have changed the outcome, never enough for a clear margin.
So this time round the officials should be prepared. They have had more than enough prior warning this time. The proposed video link to the New Theatre recalls the manic crowds that crammed in to see Alan Greenspan's appearance here last year. We can only hope that this debate lives up to that sort of standard.
The Beaver welcomes the forthcoming debate, but whatever the result on Thursday surely the only outcome that we can predict with any certainty is that even second time around, this will not be the last we hear of Israel and Palestine.
RAG week arrives...
...and there's something for everyone
RAG week is finally upon us, and The Beaver's RAG Box, which has been keeping track of RAG's year round progress up to this point, has swollen to accommodate just a selection of the plethora of events which are on offer.
We didn't even have room for many of the events, such as the 'TV Grab', where a huge new television is there to be won by whoever can keep hold of it the longest.
Or the knit-athon, which may sound like a more sedate offering, but does go to show that absolutely anyone and everyone has something to bring to the carnival which RAG week promises to be.
LSE students have already shown just how generous they can be this year, with the latest success being the annual institution which is the Development Society Auction. Over £3000 was given, but there must have been lots of beaten bids, so for all those who missed out, and everyone else. The Beaver is happy to assure it's readers that this looks set to be the busiest and most successful RAG week yet.
Letters to the Editor
The Beaver offers all readers fhe right to reply to anything that appears in the paper. Letters should be sent to thebeaver.editor@lse.ac.uk and should be no longer than 250 words. All letters must be received by 3pm on the Sunday prior to publication. The Beaver reserves the right to edit letters prior to publication.
"Stalin's Pravda"
Dear Sir,
Has the Ministry of Propaganda replaced The Beaver's editorial staff? At the same time that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict hijacked the SU's agenda. The Beaver evolved into a propaganda machine, The Comment & Analysis section conforms to the old Soviet joke; 'there is no news in the truth and no truth in the news.' I take issue in the implicit irony of a university newspaper disseminating propaganda.
In recent weeks, pro-Israel and pro-Palestinian advocates alike have sought to defend their positions by presenting half-truths. In their respective articles, Freedman and Galvin presented subjective narratives as objective truths. Although both authors have the right to submit such commentary for publication, not everything "is fit to print"; a standard of journalistic integrity should filter the proliferation of radical subjectivism.
I presume that in publishing ^eedman's and Galvin's articles, the editorial staff sought to present a "balanced argument." But, opposite radical viewpoints do not present a balanced argument; they simply present two extremes. Let us use The Beaver as a forum for constructive debate rather than the promulgation of cliches. Otherwise, we might as well replace The Beaver with Stalin's Pravda.
Julia Nayfeld
"first workshop"
Dear Sir,
Given the past weeks recognition for the need for dialogue we have endeavoured to establish a forum to instigate an exchange of ideas between supporters of both the Israeli and Palestinian cause. We have three principal goals in mind:
-to encourage productive dialogue
-to create warmer social ties -to identify future means to more progressive dialogue on the Arab-Israeli conflict.
We have the full support of Howard Davies. The School will cover the cost of providing a facilitator and a neutral venue for the meeting.
Our first forum will take place in two weeks, aroimd the 18th of February. We would like to ask you to provide four students from the Palestine, Islamic and Jewish societies, who preferably hold a wide range of opinions but are willing to engage in dialogue. In total we aim to have sixteen participants. Representatives of the Students' Union wiU be invited to observe.
We have in mind, as you will see from the proposal a workshop, a formal exchange of letters, a round table discussion and a social event, but the precise rules, process and desired outcomes will be
decided by the group at the first workshop and we welcome further suggestions as to how we should proceed.
We very much look forward to hearing from the respective societies soon and hope that you see this initiative with as much enthusiasm and hope as we do.
Marilyn Carsley
LSE SU Israel Society Chair
"controversial topics"
Dear Sir,
As a Jew and a recent LSE alumna, I have been very disturbed by arguments reported in The Beaver and The Jewish Chronicle that student initiatives criticising Israeli state policy somehow "discriminate against" Jewish or Israeli LSE students, or label individual students "racist" because of their national, ethnic, or religious identity. There is a vast difference between campaigning against governmental and military human rights abuses -as many LSE student societies do - and intimidating or harassing students who identify in some way with the state concerned. Intimidation and harassment should be condemned, but I have not seen evidence of Jewish or Israeli students being harassed or intimidated at LSE. On the contrary, students campaigning for Palestinian human rights have been very careful to direct their criticism towards the Israeli government, and to emphasise that the Israeli-Palestinian issue is a political dispute, not a religious conflict. The recent UGM motion is no exception, and arguments that it would have designated Jewish or Israeli students "racist" simply reveal that its opponents did not bother to read it.
Like many other students, I valued the vibrant political debates at LSE and often learned as much from them as from my coursework. It would be a real pity if these debates, including those on Israel-Palestine, were somehow precluded from a misguided over-sensitivity or a desire to avoid "tension" on campus. If controversial topics cannot be debated in a mature way at LSE, without misconstruing legitimate political positions for "discrimination", then aU LSE students will lose an important part of the university experience.
Deborah Hyams
"constructive projects"
Dear Sir,
Upon hearing that LSE SU Palestine Society has re-sub-mitted the "Divest from Israel" motion (with minor changes), our societies had to make a decision how to respond.
With such a busy week ahead at LSE, we deliberated hard and considered our choices: the "appealing" choice of participating in Apartheid Week/ fight the motion again
or take the opportunity to participate in an amazing RAG week. We obviously chose RAG! We decided not to divest but to invest. We will invest our time, energy, resources and community spirit in peace, a better future for all, dialogue and specifically, in saving a child's heart. For this reason, we will not be getting involved in this motion, and we will not contribute to turning our UGM into a forum whose sole purpose is to unconstructively prioritise the Israel-Palestinian issue over others relevant to LSE students.
In the spirit of engaging in positive, constructive steps forward both for the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and for our student community, we will be on Houghton street, raising money for "Save a Child's Heart", an Israeli-based international humanitarian project providing life-saving heart surgeries for children from developing countries. 45% of the children they have treated are from the Palestinian Authority and this charity brings together doctors from Israel and the Palestinian Authority. We feel that the best way that we as a student body can both make a statement and actively better the lives of Palestinians and Israelis is to support peaceful, joint and constructive projects such as this one as opposed to furthering the conflict by assigning blame.
Good luck to everyone involved in RAG week and remember; don't divest, invest!
LSESU Jewish Society LSESU Israel Society
"undoubted worth"
Dear Sir,
On reading Aled Fisher's response two weeks ago to my article about Peter Sutherland, I felt two issues need further reiteration.
Firstly, Mr. Fisher claims a wide spectrum of people oppose his appointment. Radical words they are; however speaking to people on campus, many are even unaware of such opposition. Waning numbers at the UGM allied to these misguided judgments are again signs of an increasingly unrepresentative union I'm afraid. Furthermore despite this, considering a motion calling for a referendum on his appointment was defeated I am unsure who Mr. Fisher is 'representing'.
Secondly, the 'Baker report' accused BP of safety failures. However it did not make any suggestion of legal failure on part of the board -unfortunately, it seems, the 'Fisher report' does! Other reports such as the Toronto-based 'Socially Responsible Investing (SRI) research firm Jantzi Research released a report entitled Oil and Gas in a Bull Market: The Shifting Sands of Responsibility. It rates and ranks 23 oil and gas companies on their social and environmental performance. "BP topped the list". The
report highlights the fact that BP set aggressive targets in the late 1990s (well before its com^ petitors) to reduce GHG emissions to ten percent below its 1990 level by 2010 and achieved this target within three years, almost a decade ahead of schedule. The report also exposes the harsh impact of oil exploitation on communities in developing countries and on human rights. However it also reports "on human rights, BP and Shell again stand out as top performers".
It is clear education is this man's passion and combined with his wealth of experience in the many managerial roles he has had, the school is extremely fortunate to have him. The truth is that he did not apply for this pro bono position. The school sought his leadership and he duly accepted. I suggest we leave the debate to, well, abate, and allow him to prove his undoubted worth
Micheal O'Keeffe
"step forward"
Dear Sir,
Have we abandoned our union to self-serving politicos? Out of touch and archaic, the Students' Union has entered a state of terminal decline in the minds of students it pretends to represent. Does anyone care? There are many grave injustices in the world not least our own inability to stand up, be counted and sort out our own backyard. Let our Union stand for what we truly believe , that actually affects us LSE students.
In a few weeks, LSE goes to the polls, though only a fraction of the student population will turn out to cast a ballot. Apathetic or lazy; for a political union its hardly impressive. It's not about making 'a good union great' but simply achieving a union that serves its members, all of them. Let us find and elect candidates that look beyond the next meaningless awareness week or the next potential scandal and implement action. Implement action on the important issues: ICT facilities, set text availability, affordable accommodation, lower tuition fees, resit policy, sports facilities, bursary availability, teaching provision, decent catering facilities, wide ranging careers advice, accessible water facilities. Simple? No. Important? Yes.
Let us reclaim our Students' Union and make it our own. Use your vote and make a stand. Let us no longer be dominated by politicos and 'progressives' alike but elect those who truly represent students. Self-serving politicians are not the answer. Select the candidate who stands for those important issues and means it, means action not words.
Step forward and be counted.
Anonymous
(name and identity provided)
; Beaver
10 12 Februa

School, Union, Sabbs
msam
I liked to think I wasn't a
hack." Libby Meyer, the
Treasurer of the LSE Student Union Executive's 2007-8 Sabbatical team, more or less sums up the dilemma that has faced its four officers during their adminstration of the Union, The team voted into office in 2007's Lent term elections represented possibly the Union's most diverse political constituencies ever. Fadhil Bakeer-Markar, the General Secretary, was an international student; Kayt Berry, the Communications Officer, had a background in the Media Group; Education and Welfare Officer Ruhana All had a strong basis in societies. Meyer herself hailed from the Athletics Union. This diversity has, however, come at a cost. Though the Sabbaticals are making good progress in fulfilling their manifesto pledges, they have not had the political skills to extract cast-iron assurances from the School that reforms will be carried out. Moreover, the 2007-8 Executive is losing touch with a Union that is falling apart, with key instituions - the policymaking Union General Meeting and the Constitution and Steering Committee - in decline.
By comparison, holding the Executive to account over their announced policies is much easier. Some Sabbatical officers easily ticked off many of their manifesto pledges from the very beginning of the year. Meyer, for example, introduced successful changes to Freshers' Fair, improving storage space for societies and giving the rooms themes. She also has clear future plans for reforming the way societies receive sponsorship and spend their money. (Many are "confused" and unaware that they receive additional funds from the Union's overall budget.) However, the Sabbaticals' performance needs to be looked at as a whole.
Bakeer-Markar takes me to task for referring to the Executive ("a wonderful team") as P^dhil's administration; but it is clear that he has a key role in coordinating policy. His own manifesto pledges were also highly ambitious.
One of Bakeer-Markar's first commitments, cutting visa costs and controls for international
students, remains an "ongoing campaign." He doubtless is one the better placed General Secretaries in recent years to make progress here, since he is the only international student on the Ald-wych Group, a body of student unions set up to shadow the Russell Group of universities.
The General Secretary has also led the way on pursuing two longstanding Union objectives; exams feedback, and resits. Pressing for the immediate introduction of individual feedback has been abandoned within this administration.
Bakeer-Markar is instead adamant that collective feedback is "a good first step" to more liberal policies later on. Crunch time will come with a final end-of-year decision by the School at the next Academic Board meeting. It therefore remains to be seen whether the School will keep these promises. The same is true of the expansion of special examination arrangements Bakeer-Markar and Ali claim to have secured from the School. The General Secretary again presents this as a first step to a bigger reform later on - in this case resits for exams taken in the summer, a holy grail pursued by successive student adminstra-tions. While the new arrangements are open to every student by right, the School initially planned to reveal them only to likely candidates, such as students with long-term illnesses. The Executive will instead "make it open for everyone and try to push it" in public forums such as the Union General Meeting, according to Bakeer-Markar. As bread-and-butter issues for students, feedback and resits should be chalked up as progress made for this year's Executive.
Both achievements also count as going some way to fulfilling several of Bakeer-Markar's manifesto pledges. They also match the programme set out by Ruhana Ali in her election materials. On the other hand, the two policies are clearly incremental in character - nibbling away at the School's positions until full reform is possible. This has been effective so far, but it is risky.
After all, incrementalism failed with the sudden end of 24-hour opening at the LSE library.
Bakeer-Markar admits to having been "frustrated" with the School's decision not to continue the extended pilot scheme secured by his predecessor as General Secretary, Jimmy Tam, "a very reasonable request" in his eyes. "We go with the same strategy every year: we lose." Instead, Bakeer-Markar is now hardening his position on an issue that has acquired a high profile in LSE student politics. "Now we are asking for permanent," he says. However, he does not outline his alternative policy if the School outflanks this gambit, just as it did the pilots. Compared to incrementalism, maximalism is riskier still.
In any case, the hard work put in by the General Secretary on this issue is undisputed. He has also been adept at charging up popular support for the library campaign, and can now claim more than 1300 students in favour of his stance at meetings with the School.
However, this has not

stopped some figures in the Union claiming that Bakeer-Markar is losing sight of the wider context as he firefights the library issue. The Union could realistically aim for a 24-hour campus overall. Bakeer-Markar's personal plans for a round-the-clock common room during exams have been realised though, and he is currently in talks with the School to try and get vending machines inside.
At any rate, the Executive has been preparing for a fresh bout of strategic planning for the Union in its coming consultation with the School over the construction of a new campus building for the Students' Union. These proposals, to be introduced this week, will be a major test of how far the School wants to work with students. After all, Bakeer-Markar concedes that even getting a Union shop into the New Academic Building was a "hard-fought battle" for previous General Secretaries.
For all that, it is difficult to argue with his basic strategy of
securing long-term arrangements for the Union before pressing for concessions in the short-term. This is obviously based on an awareness that the School is wily enough to dangle easy short-term gifts before Union leaders in order to ward off making bigger commitments down the line. After all, as one source puts it, the School is positioned relative to students much as the civil service is to ministers: it can easily forestall reforms simply by relying on the natural rapid turnover of students. Bakeer-Markar has compiled a project proposal for a new Union building, however, and says that this actually represents a joint effort on behalf of the SU and the School.
Still, at least one sabbatical officer already has her proposals for the site prepared. Kajft Berry is on the way to incorporating one of her most important manifesto pledges - to "build a bridge between student government and the Media Group" - into the plans. Having "concentrated on space" in allocating facilities to the Media Group, Berry detailed what she calls "a functioning media centre."The Beaver will finally have a workplace compliant with health and safety regulations. Both Pulse and Loose, the Union's radio and TV stations, will gain expansive studios and office space. Since the Media Group has received a less than optimal deal from the Union over the past few years -and given the projected increases in the student population and hence demand for student media - this is definitely a political legacy to be proud of.
Berry's other policies are slightly wobblier. Although she assures me that a Union news feed will be up and running on the (revamped) Union website by this week, this could have been set up much earlier. Many of her plans for the last few months of her time in office sound more like competent administration, such as continuing her predecessor's innovation in running mock exams for students in the summer term. Berry also plans to have dedicated notice boards installed on the Old Building for society posters. If the School agrees - and assuming societies will not have a continuing incen-
tive to defect from this arranj ment in promoting their event this could have a big visual i pact on Houghton Street.
Berry's second major ma festo pledge was to restore 1 prominence of the UGM, in p; ticular by introducing "simj measures designed to incre; overall student participation.' practice these have taken 1 form of doling out small inc( tives or freebies to UGM att( dees. In fairness to Berry, thi incentives worked when imp mented. Meyer adds that tl also worked to raise the prol of SU services, contributing one of her own manife pledges. However, Beriy is i first to concede that her w( with incentives was overshs owed once weighty, contentic motions began to come befi the student body in Lent Tern
Berry believes that i UGM's route to revival shoi instead be "more based on loi 'students for students' issui even while admitting that ' policies they set out are usus too uncontroversial to general consistently high turnout. 5 insists this problem is not evitable "especially if halls residence and societies star bringing motions." Since this ( ecutive's term in office has creasingly been consumed by furore caused by a single socie driven motion - the ongo: Palestine saga - surely it is i actually clear whether this ( velopment would improve UC policymaking. Still, the 20( 2008 executive can at least cla to have postponed the UGl impending death for anotl year - having brushed the abj a few meetings barely achie\ quorum this year. Much of turnaround is indeed thanks Berry's work. However, Ben interpretation is put in doubt her assertion that "the Gov nance Review needs to look the format of the UGM."
According to former C&S ficial James Ketteringham, Review is in fact "dead in" water. It was floundering elei months ago and drowned sor time early this academic ye UGM reform is therefore lik to remain distant for an inde nite period. The Review's app ent death, if true, is more broa a serious failing for this ye<







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d. tuo
tuesday the tuelfth of february^ "tuo thousand and eight
hizar from \h<^ honehos
photography honcho ..........................
utsamukherjee
Once Utsa drew a picture of a horse and it was so good it leapt right out of the page. If you rub the front cover up against yourself in special places then success might jump out at you too. Just a thought.
-> cover
page 3 <-
literature honcho..............................
rahimrahemtulla
Words, like air, lift the soul. Thus reading can actually get you high. We have all gone to smoke up the library, Guy Flawkes eat your heart out.
-> page 8
......................................rant honcho
anikamathur
Is the epitomy of success. She bloody loves it. She had her kidneys taken out on live television whilst performing a Britney Spears medley, backwards and only wearing star shaped nipple tassels. Now if thats not talent I don't know what is.
page 8 <-
.........film honcho
bernardkeenan
music honcho -
adamjohns
Advocates that we all folk each other stupid. In the spirit of love, and things of that general fuzzy wuzzy nature. Also eat Kom, with loads of butter and nineties teenage angst. Grrrrr.
•> page 9
Is not Kevin Keegan's illegitimate love child. No matter what the rumours say. And no, he doesn't have a magic watch either. I know, I was dissapointed too.
identity honcho...............................
hodgean
Lost in the wilderness of life we seek the advice of a life coach to blow our whistles and stretch us in ways and places we did not know existed.
page 10 <..................................thearte honcho
tomwhittaker
Is a dysfunctional lover, but we haven't -> page 11 had many complaints so far. If you do have any please email us. We will pass on the messages and any advice to enhance future performance.
page 12 <...................................gender honcho
alicepfieffer
Has got theories. She's got a book fuU. Seven even. She'll lend one to you if you write her a sonnet - she bloody loves iambic pentameter, it's her favourite.
Incommunicado.
danielbyates food and drink honcho
willjoce travel honcho
gregorulm interview honcho
simonwang technology honcho
ericlundquist telly honcho
mellamonti text honcho
fionamackay visual art honcho
ravimlstry editorial assistant
£ T ! 1
^ n
A T f
wm A mra MS MetRSMip AT TNI TAT£
MODERN)
Visual Arts presents a competition with a one word subject: PEURiUM Interpret how you will and submit work in any format: paintings, sketches, photographs, sculpture, whatever bring submissions to the Beaver office, room E204, with your name clearly visible on the work, AND email the-beaver.partb@lse.ac.tik to notify us of your submission. Entries must be in by the end of week 7, Friday 23rd of February.
The top three works will be exhibited in partB in week nine.
vMiM A mmu srGMto ey mark rowsom!
This is a high quality man-mad^
frisbee with a Mark Ronson>
logo and a message fromi Mark Ronson himself signedf in a lovely silver pen. The!
Frisbee is this seasons must^
have accessory, all the cool kids^
are carrying them. Just write a 10"
word article about how terrible Crush is, don't forget to enter, you've got to be in it to spin it innit.
Email thebeaver.partb@lse.ac.uk!
josh heller
Sucessful. That's both what partB is and what it's about this weel<. What is success? How do you define success? If you're talking about what you can feel, what you can snnell, what you can taste and see, then "success" is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain...
So it seems that partB has decided what we don't think is success. Money and the pursuit of it are probably at the root of all evil. This is a rather glib interpretation of what we're saying but I could understand someone coming to that conclusion. The problem is this school and the studying of economics. No one ever laughs in economics classes. Everyone is there to find a better route up the career ladder. The way it's taught calls for no engagement and debate, only the frantic copying of stuff to remember for the exam. That leaves no room for laughing at things particularly my jokes.
There's been a re-shuffle with the honchos. Rohim ran away because Adam's hat is too cool so he's hiding in literature. That opens up a space for someone to be music editor. This is the best position apart from some other ones. Our esteemed executive editor started out as music editor for partB so think how far you could go and how tired you could feel.
It's just me now. There are no other editors and I have finally achieved complete control of the commander in chiefship. Holli crap, pretty soon I'm going East man.




unconstitutional guest editor
Have 1 achieved success? I can feel it racing through my veins, I have infiltrated partB and we nov\/ beat as one. Board times lead to board games. We redefined success by rediscovering craft materials concluding that it is whatever you want it to be.
partB retraction
in last week's Anarchy issue I implied that Martin Cassini couldn't take credit for coming up with the idea of getting rid of all the traffic lights. This is false because he both can and does take credit for it.
tuesday the twelfth of february, tuo thousand and eight
three
wher"© :ts th® loir#?
during this era of internships and monetar/ success tombousfield wants to know where the love has gone
The Beavers of part B couldn't have chosen a more opportune moment to approach the edgy topic of Success. As they slog away, impressionable but determined, students scurry up and down Houghton Street, from interview to Internet, endlessly searching for the Golden Internship that will open the magical door to 'success'.
What exactly these prudent rationalists are looking for remains an enigma to me, however. Is it the Golden Handshake and a welcome into the secret backroom, where there's a contract, sports car, gorgeous secretary and a tiger all awaiting you? You know, I can see the attraction in a calm hand on the shoulder saying, 'Well done, you've made it'. The pangs of uncertainty grow with the passing of each month, and the woriyingly profound question of 'What on earth am I going to do with my life?' looms at an ever-increasing rate. But is that a reason to sell my soul, cut the cord and run, settling down to a comfortable city job and watch the seconds tick away xmtil I can officially call myself middle-aged?
Pardon me for being unenthused, but where's the action? Where's the youthful impetuosity that refuses a life-plan that's set in stone as if it were mortgage repayments? Where's the joker in us that marches over to the desk rooting for a pistol saying, "Well, since that's settled, I might as well end it now". Where, in essence, is the drama?
I just don't see how this qualifies as Success. Now, it is true that in modern parlance, success is all too often used in relation to monetary success. You need look no further than the modem fable of a 'successful stoiy', you all know how it goes: the callous handed, harsh tongued northerner rising triumphantly from the ashes of poverty to the palatial heights of bourgeois suburbia, where he takes an interest in theatre and moisturiser But what a shame it is, that the word that
defines a life's goal (for we all,-want, in some capacity, to be successful) has become so'
money-oriented. Are we all such obstinate one-dimensional apes?
Obviously we are not, and from here on, I promise to resist the urge to descend into sensation- .
alism. But there is a point here wor-thy of consideration; the happiness \
that results from a profession direct-1 ed solely at the accumulation of zeros ^
in a bank account can only be paper- |
thin. The moneyed life-style that sur-1 rounds such a profession, on the other^
hand, may be conducive to a more\
enduring happiness. In this salubrious ,
life-style lies, I believe, the vitiated meaning of success.
To use a cliche, no man is an island, and\
success wouldn't be success if it went com- ¦
pletely imrecognised. For these reasons, I-^
think the index of success is the less hon-'
ourable and more egotistical notion of peer recognition. For any form of success there are v two forces at work: the personal sense of satisfaction at having achieved an aim and the external approbation of others. You know, internally, 'Yes! I'm the fuckin' daddy!' and, externally, the ol' British nod of the head, the pat on the back and the euphemistic 'You've done alright., you cunt' - under the breath.
Now, dear reader, I'm happy to admit that I'm shifting rather uncomfortably in my chair, since - aside from my cliches - I've just made the admission that, for me, the innocuous notion of success is entirely about acting-up and showing off, which I'm aware doesn't
»paint me in the best of shades. But be reasonable with me, in Darwin's wildly competitive world and in tfJohn Nash's dementia, we're all seeking to distinguish ourselves in one way or another; those who do so are the successful ones.
In this light, earning money makes perfect sense. It's a tangible, concrete, conspicuous way to do so. And, I can't stop you, all I can say is why I won't be doing it... yet.
The first reason is the most obvious: money can't buy you love, and it can't buy you respect either. Dinner in the Savoy, sports cars, and mistresses on the weekend may be great for a while, but this saccharine treat will turn into a bitter pill soon enough, as you all know. Just as Roger McGough said, 'the duller the imagination, the faster the car'.
Is the certainty worth that much to ;• you? Where's the fun in the treadmill from school, to university, to career, to grave? It's like going sky-diving and pulling the reserve shoot before you've tried the real one. It's a false start, a second best. Analogies abound. But for me this is where the vitiated meaning of success lies. It lies in all those predecessors who've cut and run before it got interesting, setting the precedent of: money = success.
Certainty isn't worth the mundanity; join us in our penniless penury to create instead of commiserate.

hollieastman wishes she could tell former Big Brother housennates to get over themselves
The route to success has never been an easy one to follow. Paths paved with fame and fortune are not located in a map book. What is success anyway? Is "fame", walking down the street and being harassed by various members of the general public? Is it having enough dollars to fill a pool and then being able to swim in your own wealth? Is it being a good person, sibling or parent to your respective relations. Is it landing that Gtoldman Sachs internship and thus being secured on the route to a fat juicy signing on bonus? We can be pretty sure that the notion of success is not an easy one to put in a box. It is whatever you determine it to be. One thing is for sure, we all want it.
This week I met two former Big Brother con testants. The two housemates had recently completed their stint in the famous house under the control of random celebrity hijackers playing god through the guise of Big Brother. The latest Big Brother escapade slightly devi-ated from the normal set up;
the housemates were all handpicked as being young and successful, described as being the up and comings in their respective fields, the j next big things. All these youthful chaps were thrown into the house and then a celebrity would come in each day and try to mess with their heads. Fun times and great television. Obviously. The ex house mates I met talked adamantly about how they did not see their residency in the house as a stepping stone to further their own success stories. They assured me that they went into the house to inspire today's youths, to show the young folk of Britain that there is much more to life than drugs, knives and guns. They saw themselves as role models for a generation in disarray; if they could achieve success, so could anyone else. From such a light they seem noble, self sacrific-
ing human beings. Bless them. Putting aside any personal discomfort they may have experienced by giving up their lives for a month and living in a shoebox full of cameras instead. Its rubbish. Both contestants stated how the experience did not change them. Yet, we have to trek to Car Phone Warehouse to buy one a Blackberry, an object that one's life simply cannot function without these days darling. One babbles on about Mutya of Sugababes fame is her new BFF and just
how
absolutely delightful dearest Dermot is. Fame has not affected them? Dream on. Whilst wearing over sized sunglasses on a rainy February Thursday, they speak loudly about how they now only take black cabs and how its such a nuisance having people come up and ask them about their time
in the house, screeching strangers going "were you on that big brother show?" Ironically as this is being said an adoring fan rushes up and declares how wonderful said contestant was in the house. Oh, the adoring general pubic. Life must be so hard. One of the housemates has secured a record deal since her time in the house and has a single on its way. Something about Bongos, another version of Samcm.da (the two disturbingly annoying twins who infested out screens on last summers instalment of the reality show). Yet she fails to see this as a success, its just something that happened. I enquire as to what exactly she would view success as, she replies ' whatever you want it to'. The world is full of minor celebrities. We are obsessed with the cult of celebrity. Yet the housemates assure me that they did not enter the house for the fame. And that for all of the ambitious and successful youngsters in the house, the motivation for being there was not fame; they care more about what they do - their individual specialist fields -rather than conquering the fronts of Heat magazine. Is it just me or is this slightly hard to believe? Mutya is your new friend. You go to all the famous parties. Your life is different. You wanted it to be. You entered the Big Brother House in full knowledge that your life would change, that paparazzi would chase you as you leave kebab shops on the way home. Get over yourself. We would all have a lot more respect for you if you just admitted that you embarked down the road to reality television in an attempt to further your own career, and not as some selfless act to improve the human race. Just sit back, and enjoy your five minutes of fame.
m four
tuesday the twelfth of february, tuo thousand and eight
a lass who can really sing
joshheller has a cup of peppermint tea with laura marling
I can't tell whether she is being modest or she honestly doesn't understand how popular she will be. I assure Laura Marling that this time next year she will have sold a boat-load of records and, for better or for worse, she will be really, really famous. "I wouldn't get your hopes up."
"I've never wanted to be interviewed by someone wlio doesn't l<now wlio I am ... I've always been very selective with interviews."
Yet she must be aware of the following that is snowballing around the country. Perhaps when she first started seriously playing music a few years ago, she wouldn't have expected it, but in the past six months her music has changed. Her fan base, having established itself will only continue to grow.
To those unfamiliar with her songs, she plays what could be described as folk music. Genre can constrain a musician but it does make it easier to describe, "I would call it folk for want of a better word, it's not really folk is it? I don't want it to be whiny bitchy girl music so..."
Her songs range from the hauntingly depressing to the strangely uplifting.
Most have a prominent acoustic guitar with various layered percussion instruments. The one astonishing constant is her voice; a sound of such power and subtelty that it must be heard live to be beUeved. Her music is connecting with a growing number of people, she is going to be huge. I wonder if she wants that, "I'm not sure really. I was thinking about this today, I never wanted to be played on daytime Radio One. I never wanted that." A bold statement from an up and coming act on a major label. This clearly isn't her playing up to us, the alternative music press, mostly probably because she read partB for the first time last week. These seem to be the sentiments of a genuine musician. In an age where
fame is craved, and success measured by how many magazine covers you're on, it is nice to meet someone who will be wildly popular but simply wants to make her music. "I could certainly play in front of a hundred people for the rest of my life."
So if it's not coming from her, where does the pressure to be conventionally successfull come from? "It's not just the major label. It's what people expect. People think that you want to be on daytime Radio One. People think you want to be famous. You feel that pressure to perform, that if you're not on daytime Radio One then you're not a success, but I don't want that!" Some could construe this as ungrateful, assuming that everyone on Radio One wants to be there. "When you first get started and people are making an effort to find out who
even sold to people, "Yeah yeah exactly. I'm not gonna lie it can be pretty soul crushing. But you have no choice. They pick it up. You don't have to push yourself. Luckily I haven't been given to anyone yet." It is only a mat-
"I'd call it folk for want of a better word, but it's not really folk is it? I don't want it to be whiny bitchy girl music."
s
"I never wanted to be played on daytime Radio One. I'm not gonna lie it can be pretty soul crushing."
you are that's really fun. You feel really appreciated as people come and look for your records. When you're on Radio One, snobby as it may sound, you're just being given to people." Or
ter of time though.
As her popularity grows she is starting to see that side of the musicians life that they leave out in the brochure. The endless promotion and plugging of your work. "I've never wanted to be interviewed by someone who doesn't know who I am and didn't want the interview that much, only it's their job. I've always been very selective with interviews."
By the time you read this interview I suspect daytime Radio One listeners will be more than familiar with Laura Marling, although perhaps not with this beautiful philosophy, "At the end
of the day who gives a fuck about what anybody else thinks?"
It would be easy to take what she says with a pinch of salt. The fact is quite a few of the songs she has made are quite radio-friendly. Although to be fair most of those songs were written much earlier in her career and she rejects a few of them now. At an in-store Laura did last week there were a lot of fifteen year old girls. A significant proportion were called Emily and a fair few asked her why she didn't play "New Romantic" anymore. 'New Romantic' is a song that could have really pushed Laura Marling into the big time. It was a rather twee and fluffy acoustic number that was not bad but was hardly the most progressive folk music. I raised the topic of another of her old songs that longtime fans may look kindly upon, "London Town." "It's rubbish," she tells me, I protest but she repeats herself, "Come on, I wrote that when I was fourteen, it's rubbish." I'm a little taken aback by such a brutal condemnation of her work but concede the ground. The truth is her early work was far from the finished article, but it demonstrated two things; she had an exquisite voice and a gift for poetry. She needed something else to propel her music to the next level, that something came in the form of one Charlie Fink.
Those that don't take Laura seriously would do well to listen to Noah and the Whale. They are.a grunge-folk band in which she plays and sings, although she doesn't write for them. Their music has little danger of being played on Radio One any time soon. Arguably more optimistic than Laura's music, Noah and the Whale with their complex array of ukulele, guitar, drums and other layered precussion produce a magnificent sound.
"At the end of the day who gives a fuck about what anybody else thinks?"
Currently on indie label Young and Lost Club, they have recorded an album and are right now touring the UK. The single Five Years Time is out now and it is their happiest (if not their best) song. Laura describes Charlie as "incredibly talented", and it
tuesday the tuelfth
tyo thousand and eight
five
isn't that difficult to tell how much influence he's had on her music. "Six months ago I'd never tried to put anything around my music. Then Charlie came in because I wanted him to produce it. We sat down and he said tell me what you want and I'll try and help you do it." The melding of their formidable talents has resulted in something really rather special. After recording her four track EP My Manic and I, she went on to record her album, Alas I Cannot Swim, which is out now.
Alas I Cannot Swim is a phenomenal album. "Ghosts", the first single is the opening number. It is beautifully subtle and hauntingly sad, every bar demands total attention from you. The other stand out track is "Cross Your Fingers", a rather lovely but kind of bleak song. The one complaint I have with the album is that most of the tracks are played at a slower tempo than when she plays live. A speedier count would not have gone amiss, particularly on title track "Alas I Cannot Swim."
''Come on, I wrote that when I was fourteen, it's rubbish."
The album is immediately trying to do something different and not just with its musical content. There are two versions available, one is a limited edi-ton "Song Box." It's a big box which contains little mementos for each of the songs. They were designed by Laura wth artwork by Andrew Mockett. It looks quite similar to Joanna Newsom's first album The Milk-Eyed Mender. There's a board game, a little booklet with all the lyrics in, postcards and other delightful trinkets. It also contains a code to get a free ticket to the "Song Box tour."
'That was a fucking cool Idea, but they had the support of a record label for a good few albums. Fuckin' well done to them though.
The idea for the Song Box was Laura's. "My Dad was a sound engineer so I can't stand downloads." The cynic would probably put it that they're simply trying to make more money. Whilst

it is true this is an attempt to "scrape back people buying CDs," it's more about having a physical product. In terms of the mementos in the song box it is about "doing something special for people buying the album."
Downloading is obviously seen as a problem by many people in the music industry. "It's weird because if I'd come in to this five years ago, this wouldn't be a problem." Yet there are some interesting things happening to try and claw back those sales. The Song E is one of them, in particular tl idea of gig tickets is significant. It seems likely in the future greater proportion of money will be made by live performances. Radiohead's releasing of In Rainbows online in a pay-what-you-want format was a fantastic example of one way the industry could go.
"That was a fucking cool idea,
but they had the support of a record label for a good few albums. Fuckin' well done to them though. Also they made more money out of the box that they sold."
Laura gained a small degree of fame and notereityj in October during a gig at the Soho Revue Bar. After being asked to leave the venue due to her being under 18, she performed an impromptu busking session. Her live performances whilst not all as surprising as that, do defy expectations. There is no escaping the fact that she is quite a small person. With beautiful delicate features she refuses to wear make up on stage. Thus after a brief and unassuming intro to the crowd, when she unleashes her extraordinary voice upon them there is a certain air of disbelief that such a softly powerful sound is coming from such a diminuitive figure.
The 29th of January marked her first CD release. Previously the only format on which people could buy her music was vinyl. So even if she may disapprove, a significant number of fans have discovered Laura Marling on the internet.
Youtube has become a wonderful way to discover music that artists don't neccesarily have on their Myspace or on any peer to peer networks. This can only have helped Laura because the work done on videos has been very impressive. James Copeman has worked closely with Laura oi her videos. The video for her single Ghosts is particulary interesting. It features what looks like sto] motion animation. I ask if she is involved with the videos much, "I wish I were. I just I have no vision like that. I'm completely useless at the visual things." Yet Laura is basically obsessed with film. I ask her if Qoverfield is any good and I'm met with a scornfully patronising grimace any art school graduate would be proud of. Surely someone so interested in film should be part of the music video making process. "I'd like to, I just don't know enough. That's something I'm really interested in, something I wish I'd been offered at school. I might go on a film studies course." So this leads me nicely on to
the question of what Laura Marling's going to do next.
First up she has the Song Box tour. The London date is on March the 6th at the Union Chapel but you need to buy the Song Box to get a ticket. She's touring simultaneously with Noah and the Whale on their Young and Lost Club tour. I balk at idea of her doing 1^0 tours at the same time. "I had this gig with them [Noah and the Whale] and it was meant to be my last gig with them but I couldn't really deal with that"
Having recieved a bass guitar for her birthday she's already formed a punk band with Charlie Fink. A lot of commentators have mentioned the influence her dad had on her musical tastes, playing her various Neil Young records. However little lip service has been paid to how her Mum's tastes affected hers. She says her mum is a huge punk fan and Laura adores punk. Although the one piece of music their band The 4Qs has recorded is "about as far from punk as you can get."
She doesn't yet know what direction her next album will go in. "That's another thing that genre does, it confines you. I ike the idea of doing something completely different on my next album... maybe plug-in." There'd be more than one person shouting "Judas" on any future electric tour I reckon. Although with an electric guitar and a proper fuck-you attitude perhaps
"I like the idea of doing something completely different on my next album... maybe plug-in...'
ff
[Laura would mbrph into this genera-\tion's Debbie Harry.
The comparisons to her contempo-Iraries made by some commentators Irange from the innaccurate to the [frankly absurd. The only common I denominator she can see is that rare [quality of being female. At my suggestion of it being a London accent she fswiftly reminds me that she doesn't [have a London accent but a Reading one. Of course the difference has nothing to do with accent nor indeed gender. "Honestly if anyone's actually heard my music I can safely say they won't seriously think that."
Laura Marling is on top of a wave about to break. To ride it she will have to work hard and paddle furiously, to I stay standing she must perform a [remarkable feat of balance. Success is la must because alas, she cannot swim.
' Alas I Cannot Swim is out now on EMI.
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AI{EKI^2 IBeaver 12 February 2008
news
Social networking sites threaten employment.
Research by recruitment consultants, Badenoch & Clark has revealed that 62% of UK employers check social networking sites to assess the cadididates suitability. In other research donebyViadeo, reveals an aarming atatistic. About 66% of its respondents were influenced by the online content on cadidates..
NOTE:Ensure you have a good online reputation.
False CV's
Students applying for job placements must make sure that their CV's are completely acurrate. Bosses are willing to clamp down on lies on CV's as they pose serious dangers to their businesses. Omissions from CV's are deatils such as criminal convictions or bankruptcies.
Credit .checks tor jobs
Graduates seeking employment in the financial sector now face another test: A credit check. Students must now ensure that the have a good credit rating as a bad one may hinder their recruitment chances.
aduate ,, ent £puld ecledjOy ai credit crun^
Recent research has revealed that firms may be willing to reduce graduate recruitment in order to save money, rather than employ measures such as redundancy.

L 10DS m years
What is Investment Banking?
Romola Faw^ehinmi
There is no doubt that Investment banking is important at the LSE. Houghton Street is constantly inundated with material regarding this lucrative profession. However, as popular as this profession is, there are few who fully understand the machine that is an investment bank.
In simple terms, an Investment bank raises money for companies and governments and also provides advisory services. An Investment bank is typically divided up into three chunks. They are as follows: Front Office, Middle Ofiice and Back Office. The front office consists of several divisions such as Investment Banking, Investment Management, Research , Strategy and sales and trading. The main aim of the investment banking arm of the firm is to raise funds for clients in the capital markets as well as providing advice on possible mergers and acquisitions. Investment managers as
the title suggests manage money. However, the cash cow for most investment banks is its Sales & Trading divsion which typically makes most of the firms revenue.
The Middle section has three parts. They are Finance, Risk Management and Compliance. The Risk management division can be viwed as a safety mechanism. The division works by setting limits on capital that can be traded by the firms traders, this can prevent trades that could potentially hamper the bank. The Finance divison is a key part of the middle office as its jobs is to relay information about the firms global risk exposure and the firms profitabilty to senior management. Finally, Compliance's role is to ensure that the bank's dealings comply with financail regulations and internal regulations.
Last but not the Least we have the Back office. It consists of two bodies :
Operations and Technology. Most firms use software created by their technology team and operations existence is to check trades and ensure that there are no mistakes or errors.
In recent times, investment banking has been a prosperous sector with increasing revenues. However, the sector has suffered due to the Subprime mortgage crisis. Many investment banks such as Barclays Capital, Bear Stearns and Goldman Sachs lost billions of dollars.
On a more applicable note, if you have applied for an internship at an investment bank ensure that you know all its divisions and feel confident about talking about them.
Best of Luck,
X
Romola Fawehinmi Part C Editor
JLjuLSiJtlJRflLfluN	Jl JuumKiSI
Herfilll^di
The Internet Guide to Careers
The Association of Graduate Recruiters have revealed that the number of vacancies for graduates is set to rise by 16.4% This is the greatest increase in 10 years. However, the job market is still very competitive as employers are recruiting graduates from overseas.lt is vital for graduates to apply early to placements and present themselves in the most marketable way.
Bilingual graduates wanted
A r survey has revealed that about 25% of UK firms have lost out on pontential business because their staff can not speak a foreign language. The research also states that 28% of firms would be willing to pay a higher wage for staff that can speak foreign language (s)
An informative site w^ith good carreers advice . In addition the w^ebsite has an effective job search for graduates.
(M|^krfinil.coin
«»i (muwiiiFCAiito
LSE
Careers
Seivfce
TIMES
wv^.lse.ac.ukyDepts/careers In house resource that allow^s students to search for opportunities and book appointments.
Visit Careers @ LSE Careers Service RoomW610 Tower 3
Q Inside Careers'
Of all the sites, Inside Careers is the most structured and has the best layout. It organises all its content by profession, which makes it easier to find information. In addition, the site also has a book store.
WMrw.timesonline.co.uk/jobs Interactive site with interesting articles and job search facility.
Key Feature: Site has video lessons from top business leaders such as Stelios Haji-loannou, Founder of the easyGroup
first for greduate jobs
v^w.get.hobsons.co.uk.
Resource contains information on careers advice, a job search tool, forums and a calendar of events that take place in universities across the UK.
jobs
Proctor & Gamble
Title: Financial Analyst Type: Intern
Open to all years and any degrees discipline Deadline : 31 March 2008 For more info contact careers service.

Milkround is a good resource. The site is well structured with sub headings such as Events and Deadlines, News and Advice and many more.Registration is free so sign up
Barclays
Type: Summer Internship Duration: 8 Weeks Deadline:15/02/2008... soon For more info visit www.inspiredbybarclays.com
Punter Southall Limited
Title: Acturial Summer
Internship Duration: 8 weeks Year of Study: 2ndYear Deadline: 03 March 2008
Shearman & Sterling LLP
Summer Placement Duration: 2 Weeks Deadline: 28 Feb 2008 www.shearman.com/recruitinguk/
PricewaterhouseCoopers LLPi (PwC)
iype:Summer Internship Internship areas :	|
*	Assurance
*	Advisory	j
*	Actuarial
*	Tax	!
*	strategy Deadline: 28th March 2008 N.B: 15th February for Strategy;
Michael Page International
'iype:Summer Internship ' Duration: 8 Weeks	;
Deadline: 14 March 2008 Email:
sophielamb@michaelpage.cora to apply	1
Social Enterprise London
'iype:Social Issue & Policy Internship Salary: Unpaid Closing Date: 21-Mar-2008 Email: mei@sel.oig.uk
JPMoigan
Structured Products Platforn^ Internship
'Iiype:FullTIme Duration: 6-9 Months Salary Range: £30-35k per year Email:
shyam.t.hegde@jpmorgan.com Deadline: 1 April 2008
Revisecatch Ltd t/as Couriei* Systems	j
Business Analyst
'iype:Full Time	j
Salary Range: £20-25K per year Email:
becky.ocoimoi®couriersys.co.uk Deadline: 21 Feb 2008
1
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Your guide to the 2008 LSE SU Elections
VOTE
SU08
12 February 2008 iBeaver

••
SU08
Sabbatical Poiitions
General Secretary
The General Secretary is responsible for the overall leadership of the Students' Union (SU), coordinating activities, campaigns and committees. Sitting on the majority of both Union and School committees they tend to have a finger in every pie. The General Secretary also acts as the ex-of-ficio delegate to all decision making bodies of affiliated organisation and acts as the contact for the media.
Trea
SU elections are approaching, and a whole raft of positions are open. Sabbatical officers take a year off from their studies and are paid almost £26,000 to lead the Union. Non-sabbatical of-ficershave more specific roles, organise awareness weeks and areoften seen as a good stepping stone to sabbatical positions.
Non-sabbatical positions
Societies Officer
Represents Societies and their members to tlie Executive and maintains communication between tliem.
Environment and Ethics Officer
Responsible for tlie Union's environmental and ethical policies and for raising awareness and campaigning on these issues around campus.
Residences Officer
The Residences officer acts as the SU representative on the Residences User Committee. They are also responsible for representing the many LSE students in intercollegiate accommodation.
The Internatioi
The officer reprej dents' in the Un throughout the y cultural societies I tion.
Mature and Part Officer
Represents matu dents at the LSE. lar forums and off
Women's Office
Takes responsibilh students and pror ties for all. They h
-Elections Timeline
1
llth February	15th February
At 10am - SU Reception 1pm to 2pm - D109 Nominations Open	Get Elected!
18th February	19th February
At 5pm - SU Reception 1pm to 2pm - E171 Nominations Close	Candidates Meeting
21st February
1pm to 2pm - Old Theatt UGM Hustings
leaver 12 February 2008
%

surer
Gommunications
Education & Welfare
sasurer controls the purse ; of the SU. They are respon->r looking after the Union's irciai services. They chair the e and Services committee e involved in finalising soci-jgets in the Michaelmas rhe Treasurer will be work-marily on the revenue rais-e of the Union so we can !l important services.
The Communications Officer looks at providing Union publications such as handbooks and the alternative prospectus. They also take up the challenge of obtaining advertisement and sponsorship funding such activities. The Communications Officer sends out a weekly publication to all members of the Union and maintains day to day management of the Union website.
Responsible on the whole for student welfare and the coordination of welfare services and campaigns. They'll work with the School to improve the quality of our education recommending change where necessary. Keeping up with the teaching standards review will be a major part of the job. The role also involves working closely with Residence committees.
nal Students' Officer
;ents international stu-ion. The officer liaises ¦ear with national and to encourage participa-
:-time Students'
re and part-time stu-The role involves regu-Pice hours.
ty for the welfare of all notes equal opportuni-lold regular forums and
office hours on issues relating to women.
The Anti-Racism Officer
Charged with preventing discrimination on the basis of race, religion or nationality, and campaigns on the issue using campaign funds allocated by F&S.
LGBT Officer
Responsible for the welfare and representation of all Lesbian, Gay, Bi- and Transgender students. This is achieved through regular forums and office hours.
Students With Disabilities Officer
Responsible for the welfare of all students with special consideration of those
students with a disabilities. This is achieved through regular forums and officer hours.
The Returning Officer
Charged with the responsibility for the proper conduct of Union elections and all associated activities from chairing hustings to counting votes. When not coordinating SU elections the Returning Officer oversees the use of the electronic voting system that has the potential to be used in halls and society elections.
Constitution & Steering Committee
The C&S committee looks to uphold the
Codes of Practice across the union and advises the Executive committee on constitutional issues. The committee approves that all motions due to be debated in the UGM are within the constitution and provides advice on the procedures within the Union. The committee also acts as the appeal body for matter in relation to elections.
Finance & Services Committee
Under the direction of the Treasurer the committee looks at the operation of the Union's services. The committee plays an important role in the approval of the Union budget and more specifically the allocation of funds to societies.
21st February	25th February	27th February
re . 2pm to 4pm - The Quad 1pm to 3pm - Old Theatre At 10am - The Quad Quad Hustings	HUSTINGS!	Opening of the Ballot Box
28th February
At 6.30pm - The Quad - Closing of the Ballot Box 8pm to Late - Robinson rooms - Count Night
VOTE
SU08
12 February 2008 ceaver
Candidates get thair two-minutes to explain why they deserve your vote. More importantly, you get your chance to ask questions and find out where the candidates stand on particular issues.


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Light-hearted campaigning turns fierce as students making their way to the Quad to place their vote are bombarded by last-chance campaigners desperate to have their leaflet in your hand as you cast your ballot. Or, if you'd rather avoid the desperate, last-minute rush to secure votes, simply vote online. You've listened to the debates, you've read the manifestos, now its decision time. Who do YOU want to run our Union?
0 '
Grab a banner, shout a slogan or wear a t-shirt emblastoned with a mug shot of your favourite candidate. Welcome to Election week. Houghton Street becomes jammed with campaigners begging you to vote for them, their friend or someone they promised to campaign for when they were in the Tuns once. Leaflets form a carpet of propaganda and the air is filled with the sound of cheesy campaign songs.


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I

It's all over. The votes are in and the counting begins. Students pile into the count room, sneak a bag of warm Fosters past the Returning Officer, and wait for the celebration speeches, cheers and tears. The media group will provide up-to-the minute coverage, including a live TV-style webcast announcing the results as they come in.
iBeaver 12 February 2008 ^ !\I{1']1^I {S3
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3, eight
tuesday the twelfth of february, tuo thousand and eight
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angustse hails Paul Thomas Anderson's nnasterpiece

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Three serious Oscar contenders are in cinemas now. There's Jijlian Schnabel's The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, an aesthetically powerful and moving portrait of a paralysed man. There's Juno, this year's indie darling. (I beg to differ with the unanimous praise: it beats me how such an obnoxious character, so desperate spouting hipster quirkiness, and ignorant of her plight as a pregnant teenager, can reconcile with any notions of cuteness and likeability. But that's another story...)
And there's There Will Be Blood, the cherry on top, the masterpiece that restores a lot of faith in American cinema.
Like his idol Robert Altman, Paul Thomas Anderson's films feature excellent ensemble casts, from his ode to the 1970s porn industry in Boogie Nights (also Scorsesian like Goodfellas) to the sprawling one-day narrative Magnolia (clearly influenced by Altman's Short Cuts). His humanistic respect for the characters connects with his interest in family relationships: how they are formed, broken and repaired.
Blood begins in 1898 with an audacious 15 minute sequence without anyone speaking. Daniel Plainview (Daniel Day-Lewis, My Left Foot) starts as a silver miner and later an oil prospector. The job is different, but the environment is the same: dangerous, messy, and isolated from society. Dialogue is unnecessary, as Johnny Greenwood's music takes hold in depicting the internal and external life. His score, with moments of orthodox orchestral music interrupted with blasts of discordant violins and storming percussion, is one of a kind.
Switch to 1902, and we see Daniel climbing the capitalist ladder, giving speeches with his adopted
son HW and persuading villagers to sell their land cheaply. He receives a tip and heads to Little Boston, where an earthquake has set loose the reservoir of oil underneath. What stands in his way is Eli Sunday (Paul Dano, Little Miss Sunshine), a young preacher. Looking to expand his church's sway and finances, his calls for cooperation clashes with the winner-takes-all mentality that Daniel personifies.
To reveal too much would spoil Day-Lewis' extraordinary performance. From impatience and agitation to sheer misanthropy, he relishes his role with gusto. His overbearing presence is so essential in this very masculine film, that even the third act, where arguably he veers towards self-parody (just Google 'I drink your milkshake'), is still captivating. I can't imagine anyone else improving on the role. You can see the PR machine roaring with the deluge of interviews in the press, unusual for the reclusive actor. A leader for Best Actor, it's increasingly likely that Oscar night would be a coronation for him.
A simple dismissal would be that he's playing the same psychopathic role as Bill the Butcher in Gangs of New York. But Plainview's character really develops (or more accurately, degrades), whereas Bill risks falling into the classic 'crazy genius' model. There's some reverse symmetry here: where the Butcher's humanity flashes near the end, Plainview descends into darkness.
The obvious underlying theme is greed and corruption- indeed the title alludes to blood oil and the Iraq occupation. Although Anderson denies he's making a straight-up indictment of the state of things, what gives Blood its political punch is the representation of American Christian evangelism. I emphasise American, because only in the country that embraces capitalism to its soul, can megachurches, Pat
Robertson and Prosperity Christianity exist. Dano's performance as a charismatic, almost cocky minister who eventually reveals his sanctimonious self is crucial, and it's disappointing that he didn't receive a nomination.
The film is surprisingly claustrophobic, rarely distancing from the workplace. There are no long-shots, no aerial shots of the barren landscape. Darkness permeates in daylight, men in black suits reign with their shadows. It's therefore surprising that Blood feels like an epic. Perhaps it's the framing of certain scenes- the church, the burning of the oil derrick come into mind- that gives it a sense of grandeur.
But it's the ambition of Anderson's storytelling, creating almost a birth-of-the-nation chronicle, that's striking here. I'm not alone in noticing the Krubick influences-The Shining and A Clockwork Orange jump out in the final scene. Some have even compared the film to Citizen Kane, both about unraveling tycoons. And it's this drawing of inspirations that's both consistent with his oeuvre and also allowing him to progress as a filmmaker. Many aspects of Blood spells references, and Anderson isn't afraid of carrying them on his sleeves. But unlike his contemporaries, he's smart enough to tap new sources and make new advances in cinematic territories while not compromising his natural comfort zone. He has shifted, but not departed (there's still a father-son plot), from his preoccupation with relationships to a character study. And he has told a timely tale.
Innovation isn't something that can be conjured up on demand, and visual images inevitably reference each other. Understanding this, and with occasional gems such as Blood on release, you'll appreciate that cinema is very much alive.
There Will Be Blood is out now.
'Just Another Day at The Office'

The two men leaned against the cold brick of the warehouse, their faces obscured by the shadows. One of them, the taller of the two, lit up the night with the burning tip of a solitary cigarette. Each time he inhaled, the orange glow illuminated his face to reveal a long scar under his right eye. The men stood perfectly still, without the merest trace of fear showing on their faces. Their hearts beat in a slow and deliberate rhythm,
they were professionals.
Only the occasional sound of a car speeding past the front of the building broke the silence. His cigarette finished,
the taller man let it drop to the floor and grounding it out with the heel of his black boot, made a furtive hand gesture to his accomplice.
They moved stealthily along the wall, the shorter man limping slightly with each step.
Pausing at the back entrance to the warehouse, the crunching of their footsteps on the gravel stopped abruptly. The taller man observed that the security guard, slumped in a chair in his tele-phone-booth sized office, appeared to be asleep. Perhaps he had been drugged.
The door opened noiselessly and slipping inside, the men found themselves in a cavernous room, filled by the quiet humming of industrial machinery. Crouching low against a wall they made a final check of their equipment and feeling the reassuring, exhilirating weight of cold metal against their skin, made out for the light shining
part one of a short story by rahimrahemtulla
from behind a closed door on the other side of the room. The shorter man, limping all the while, led the way.
Upon reaching the door, they stopped and listened. The shorter man took up a position to the right of the door frame, the taller man stationed himself on the left. Muffled voices could be heard through the door. One, a deep growl, belonged to a man and the other, lighter in
The men turned tone and higher in pitch, was
undoubtedly that of a woman.
and angled them-™'
selves toward the door, guns raised high out in front of their bodies."
men had been expecting. They drew their guns and exchanged looks across the doorway. The taller man felt his pulse quicken and revelled in the sensation of adrenaline flowing through his veins. He checked himself and took a deep breath. The shorter man leaned over to him and lightly touching his arm, whispered something in his ear. Upon hearing the words, a wry smile formed itself on the tall man's lips, and he nodded his head.
The men turned and angled themselves toward the door, guns raised high out in front of their bodies. With a resounding crack which shattered the near-silence of the warehouse, the tall man's boot collided with the door and as he stepped into the dimly lit room he screamed, 'Freeze!'
Part 2 of 'Just Another Day at the Office' is published next week.
Venetian Masters: Under the Skin of the City of Love by Bidisha
Irahimrahemtulla would rather stick to Orwell
'enetian Masters portrays itself as an expose, designed, according to the back cover, to enlighten us as to the 'disturbing 'prejudices beneath the sophisticated surface' of Venetian society. It attempts do this through a first-person style narrative and thus we see the world through Bidisha's eyes. During one of the many less than thrilling conversations she has with the friend who is showing her around Venice she says, "You're the true Venetian, not me. I could only see things as an outsider..."
This position of a foreign writer in an unfamiliar setting is a tried and tested stereotype. Bidisha (why doesn't she have a second name? Is she trying to create some kind of brand identity?) doesn't bring anything new to the genre. Instead of reflecting on what she has seen or offering some meditations on the overarching themes and patterns which occur in Venetian society, everything is told in real-time. 'I did this...' then 'I did that...' and 'She said this...'The result is a shallow, overly informal narrative, told in such a way as to make the scenes feel like a series of unrelated sketches or set pieces. More like an introspective personal diary than razor-sharp travelogue. Bidisha seems to spend a lot of time in shops and cafes, telling us how due to her position as an outsider, she is not greeted warmly by waitresses when selecting coffee, whereas the Italians are. It is hardly incisive social commentary.
That said, the book is written in a style which is clear, accesible and sometimes engaging, though there is considerable overkill in terms of adjective usage.
If you're looking for a truly interesting expose of a famous city, you need look no further than Orwell's Down and Out in Paris and London. Unlike Bidisha, his account of the two cities is truly illuminating, and not only does he take the time to reflect upon what he has experienced, but he also considers how it is significant in the deeper framework of society. His position as a peniless vagrant affords a much more revealing city view than Bidisha, the guest of a rich, artistocratic Venetian family, ever could.
tuesday the tuelfth of february tuo thousand and eight
nine

aa y&lk ^0'Ufr^6 eiy
loisjeary explores the freaky recesses of the nu-folk universe
P
The days when 'folk music' meant scruffy hippies with bad teeth, one finger in their ear to find the pitch and a battered guitar on their knee are, thankfully, long gone and the new generation of folk musicians who have taken their place are hip, experimental and just a little bit strange. If you are bored of ubiquitous indie music made by yet another band of pretty-boys in skinny jeans, then let folk music be your sonic and visual escapism, as colourful and varied as the acid-trips which gave birth to it.
Psych-Folk
Adorned with biblical beards, Rapunzel-esque hair and garlands of flowers, these musicians draw on the psychedelic vibe of late 1960s California to create hazy freak folk jams. Bands like Espers and Vetiver, pals with High Priest Devendra Banhart, create enchanting layers of percussive acoustic sound which transport you to altogether different times and sunnier climes. Yet, despite the communal collaborative movement, lyrical appreciation of Mother Nature and vintage image, the psych-folk movement should not be dismissed as a bunch of hippies who have been stuck in a time-warp since 1969. These bands have a spellbinding way with words and a unique approach to making music, throwing together disparate influences or instruments to create something totally modem and exciting. Joanna Newsom's Ys, a collaboration with Van Dyke Parks released in 2006, was one of the most fresh and original albums of the year, a collection of grand tales set to intricate orchestration.
Antifolk
What started as a protest by New York folk singer Lach, who had been banned by the Lower East Side's folk clubs for being too 'punk', has become a counterculture phenomenon. Despite initially being in direct opposition to the musical establishment, Antifolk's profile has been raised by artists such as Regina Spektor and the Moldy Peaches, who dressed up like bunnies to play their
raucous observations on the world, and can now be found on the highly-acclaimed Juno soundtrack. Antifolk's influence has also been felt in London and Brighton where there are a range of different musicians putting on club nights, festivals and open-mic nights. Emmy the Great's song-bird voice lets her get away with such naughtiness as 'I knew you best back when love was just a feeling that ran out between my legs onto the back of my dress' and she continues the lo-fi, satirical tradition with her reflective and personal lyrics. Not content with making music, Antifolkers can be seen dabbling in other forms of media. Jeffrey Lewis makes it quite clear that he prefers drawing comics to making music, whilst the Trachtenberg Family Slideshow Players are so strange you couldn't make it up - both a band and comedic visual-arts, this mother, father and daughter group write songs about vintage slideshow collections that they pick up at car boot sales.
Folktronica
The influence of electronica on modern folk music has expanded the opportunities for experimentation and the creation of an unmistakeably 21st-centuiy sound. Brooklyn's Animal Collective defy definition with their psy-
chedelic noisemaking, with member Panda Bear's solo album Person Pitch using an array of strange electronic samples alongside beautiful melodies and harmonies to create a feeling of sun-kissed surrealism. In Britain, Patrick Wolf is concurrently introspective and flamboyant, comfortable with using electronic beats behind his wild bowing of the viola and dark tales, whilst Tunng's 'Jenny Again' disconcertingly skips between a gentle, acoustic melody and computerised loops to beautiful effect.
Country-folk
A million miles away from the Dixie Chicks are bands like Lavender Diamond, and in certain incarnations. Bright Eyes, who mix the strong song-writing and instrumentation of country music with the subtle storytelling of folk. For more passion than you ever thought was possible from music see New York's Langfaome Slim, who shrieks and howls his way through songs that are delivered with boundless energy and charisma. Again, London is an exciting place to find these artists; Laura Marling [turn to page 4 for partB's interview] and Nosih and the Whsile [read partB next week for an interview] have voices far beyond their tender years, and Johnny Flynn's 'Eyeless in Holloway' is dark and intriguing. Even ex-Test Icicles member Dev Hynes has abandoned his not-so-glittering indie-punk past to become Lightspeed Chsunpion, and the observational lyrical style of his debut 'Falling off the Lavender Bridge' is modem country-folk music for the NME-reading teenager.
Folk music may be of times past, but in its modem form it is exciting and endlessly varied. It is characterised by young artists looking at the world in an intelligent, perceptive way and combing this with traditional musical influences to create modem songs that sound timeless.
Lois wants you to listen to her radio show 'Folk You!' on Thursdajrs from 7-8pm on www.pulse.dj partB folkin' loves it cause it's folking great.



Art Brut - Live at ULU February 6th
iohimrahemtulla
Art Brut, with a brass section, came on and delivered a solid live show. Their lead singer, Eddie Argos, expounded his narcissistic lyrics to the backing of many-a-punk riff. The deadpan, overly-wordy style of the tracks, recited as a narrative, lost some of their impact in a noisy, live environment. The energy is there even if the variety is not. The homs were nothing more than a shallow gimmick, effective only for the Star Wars-esque opening and one other song. Argos would do better to either be really funny or entirely sombre; it's not always possible to tell which angle he's going for, and his wry observations often don't really seem all that wry. Nonetheless, the band performed with plenty of style, though why the drummer felt the need to throw a stick up in the air at every possible opportunity like he was a mega-rockstar remains unclear.
Turin Brakes - Something in my Eye
gregorulm
It's always a pleasure to listen to a lighthearted pop song — at least once in a while. Turin Brakes' "Something in my Eye" indeed makes for some unobtmsive listening, not quite unlike Travis. But beware, all you young and beautiful, the catchy melody is misleading. Once you start noticing the lyrics, this song might very well dampen your mood for some time. And indeed, the memento mori theme starts to get a bit annoying roughly halfway through the track: Time is ranning out, life in the city is shallow, people are shadows. Isn't it literature that's supposed to drag us down and make us feel miserable? I guess I prefer Fran Healy's platitudes to these ones.
Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
adamjohns
Boat-shoe-wearers of the world unite! Vampire Weekend are possibly the preppiest band to pick up guitars since John F. Kennedy accidentally picked up a guitar in 1958 (it fell on his leg while he was sitting down). Whether or not you approve of the lyrical topics (ivy-league educations, upper-crust snobbery, summers in cape cod) the band combine vividly inventive lyrics with an original musical style that sounds absolutely fresh. Their sound is a sort of soft-rock-cum-afropunk which harkens back to Elvis Costello and Graceland-era Paul Simon, and their album is as consistently enjoyable as anything I've listened to in months. While your reaction to this band might be coloured by whether or not you used to spend your summers at the yacht club, it shouldn't; despite the blue-blood trappings this is enjoyable, original and subtly profound stuff.
Hot Chip - Made in the Dark
adamjohns
Hot Chip are undoubtedly one of London's most beloved bands; not only are they an intense-ley likable bunch of intelli-sexual dance nerds, but they harken from our very own South Bank. While their peaks have always been stellar ("Over and Over" comes to mind), their main flaw has always been consistency. For a band known almost as much for their excellent DJing as for their music, they have so far been unable to release an album that can be listened to all the way through. Made in the Dark, unfortunately, fails to transcend this flaw. For every ravetastic freakpop dance explosion ("Out at the Pictures", "Shake a Fist", "Ready for the Floor") or RnBelicious slow jam ("We're Looking for a Lot of Love","Made in the Dark"), there is another profoundly skippable dud. However, despite this lack of quality control, the incredible tracks more than make up for the weak spots. Spectacular success combined with miserable failure is always better than comfortable mediocrity, especially when you get to dance to the spectacular successes at the live show.
&/ioldpen/ oj tAe
tashterbraak bites into some hot buttered nu-metal
Let me begin with a confession: I was a Kom fanatic at the age of 10, but lost interest as I matured. Would this gig prove those old albums worthy of another listen?
We arrived relatively late and followed a mass of black-clad teenagers and mid-dle-aged white trash to the Academy in time to catch the end of support act Flyleaf's set. I half vsdshed we had come even later - for one. Flyleaf's female vocalist did nothing but mumble behind a screen of black hair, and for another, the guy in front of me had intense B.O. Korn came on exactly at 9.30 as planned, but not before lead singer Jon Davis' silver microphone stand (designed by Alien artist HR Giger) was unveiled to a swell of cheers that far surpassed the audience's aggregated reaction to Flyleaf -and not before I had nestled myself between less sweaty concertgoers. Jon Davis looked lean in his black kilt, and bassist Fieldy also seemed to have shed the pounds and replaced his trademark cornrows with floppy dreads, looking strangely attractive.
And so the show began, with a turbo-charged rendition of recent single Right Now and some turbo-charged moshing to accompany Jon's lyrics ("Shut up, I'll fuck you up"). The show went on with little interruption, with instmmental interludes linking each song. Occasionally Jon would address the crowd, repeatedly thanking eveiyone "very fucking much"for coming. At one poini he disappeared from sight and the crowd was met seconds later with an ear-splitting high-pitched tone that turned out not to be horrendous feedback but rather Jon's infamous bagpipes, which he paraded around on stage]
in masochistic glee. The band played old songs like "Got The Life" in between the newer "Here To Stay" and the very new "Hold On". I was as usual positioned right next to the moshpit so had to brace myself during Kom's hit "Freak On A Leash" and, from the same album,"Falling Away From Me", during which the crowd went berserk. Another crowd-pleasing song was "A.D.I.D.A.S." from their 1997 album Life is Peachy, an acronym for "All Day I Dream About Sex" (as apparent in the chorus) which heavily resembled JC Chasez's camp 2004 single of the same name (Kom should definitely sue).
Munky was absent, as was ex-guitarist Head who permanently left the band in 2005 after finding Jesus (headtochrist.com). Having already found Jesus myself, I, on the other hand, was going nowhere (contrary to popular belief, metal bands do not usually perform satanic rituals on stage). Neither guitarist was missed, as Fieldy stole the guitar-show with his fluidly sexy slap bass.
After a good two hours of non-stop head-banging, Kom proved they sound even better live and gave the gig 110%, earning them my rekindled respect. Kom continue to deliver high-quality nu-metal of the kind they pioneered back in 1993. Whether there is room left for them in today's music charts is for you to decide.
tuesday the tuelfth of february, tuo thousand and eight	ten
Shakespeare goes Gangsta on your ass.
luciennoriegoulet checks out the Drama Society production of Lear
My last encounter with Shakespeare was "Romeo and Juliet" some five years ago, and it annoyed me so much that I decided to avoid anything Bard-related for some time (except for "Shakespeare in Love", but I'm not sure that counts...). However I had to make an exception last Friday evening for King Lear, staged by the LSE SU drama society with Matthew Partridge as director.
I am usually a fairly critical person, but I find it harder when it is a students' play. First of all, I admire anybody who finds the time and courage to leam a text by heart and go on stage; two things I have been far too scared to do since I was 12. Secondly, I had friends involved, so I'm fairly biased.
I'm not going to criticise the text here, both because I doubt I would be the best-placed person to do so, and because there were large cuts. Suffice to say that the plot was just as bloody as you'd expect from a Shakespearian tragedy.
The play's reception was certainly positive, the Old Theatre was pretty full and the audience very receptive, though not always for the right rea-
sons; the scene where Gloucester gets his eyes taken out was just the right level of stage realism to make people in the audience cringe. There was laughter, though not always at the right place. The use of toy guns in the early fight scenes ort of killed the tension; I guess (and hope) on purpose.
The play was transposed to the Prohibition period, in homage to the Godfather. On paper this is a brilliant idea. After all, both are about a king of some sort with three kids. However on the Old Theatre stage it didn't look so brilliant. You need more to pretend to be in the 1930's US of A than suits, hats, revolvers and an old-fashioned phone. The fact that all the male aristocracy was in suit made it more like a King Lear taking place in the City than in the 1930's. Bar Kent who looked like a proper gangster (or at least my idea of a proper gangster). I also realised at some point during Act IV that I focused so much on the outfits (especially the unmatched suits on display) that I hadn't understood a single word spoken, which probably means that the acting was good, because I had a fair idea of what was going on.
The cast acquitted themselves
well, particularly the clashes between Edmund and Edgar. Joe Meegan's Edmund was a commanding figure on stage, and Clement Broumley Young provided the play's conscience with his thoughtful soliloquies. The way they took the sword fight in their stride was also admirable, and added much to the play's climax. Also of note were Chris Merriman's Gloucester, who was convincingly anguished and acted in a way which allowed somebody with no understanding of the text (i.e. me) to guess what was going on just by the emotions he conveyed. Likewise, Rajan Patel was successfull in portraying the emotional arc that his character albany travelled on. Raza Naeem's Lear was perhaps a little too petulant, sometimes closer to a five-year-old-kid-who-didn't-get-his-pudding than a powerful nutter, but his presence was undeniable. As for the children... Obviously,
there are those who^
mock love to get^
power, and those who love too much to wish to gain anything from it. The daughters held the attention of the audience, and the only criticism could be that they kept fidgeting all Vivian Ward like, and
their costumes had no consistency whatsoever. I was impressed by the Fool's singing,
although less sure about her hair.
Overall it was a nice play and an enjoyable evening. It had the slight clumsiness you would expect of a student play, which should really be read as a compliment, not a snotty remark. Thanks to this, I've made my peace with Shakespeare.
On love and dysfunction
m
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cker reviews The Lover and The Collection


Pinter is one of those playwrights who is continuously lauded as 'timeless', but it wasn't until seeing 'The Lover' and 'The Collection' double bill now on at The Comedy that I understood why.
The reason these plays work is because the themes that sculpt the stories are ones that are absolutely universal. Love, sex, honesty and deception invoke feelings in all of us whether we identify with the specifics of a situation or not. I may not have been the victim of adultery, but I surely know at least to some degree how that would make me feel; Pinter taps into our tendency to respond emotionally and extrapolates it to an unnatural extreme.
Nothing is ever as it seems, and there are always layers to his plays; veils that shift, sometimes clouding the truth, sometimes revealing it unexpectedly
and with startling clarity.
"The Lover" is a single act play focussing on the strange sexual relationship between a husband and wife in post-war England. They appear to be very ordinary: the man is leaving for work in an office and his elegant housewife is seeing him off before a day of feminine toils. The first layer of abnormality is woven almost immediately: the husband asks, with an air of studied nonchalance, if her lover is coming today, and they proceed to discuss it at length in a highly civilized manner that still throws the audience for a loop, no matter how modern they may be. How odd and urbane we find them; surely such a relaxed attitude is unrealistic, untenable? The husband leaves and the wife prepares for her encounter (not so illicit, after all) by donning leather dress, patent heels, ^ and poses. She is dressing ;
a mistress, in a mis-
We find her posturing at times endear ing, and at other painful

made awkward by her intimate preparation for adultery.
The biggest shock of all, however, is when her lover walks in and reveals himself... as her husband, dressed as her bit of rough. Surprise leads to confusion as she proceeds to lead him through a deeply personal and bizarre game of obscure sexual signals and role play, highly structured and evolved from god knows what psychologically dark recesses of her mind. She is clearly the mastermind of all this, and when the game begins to go sour and unravel, she is obviously the victim in her spouse's termination of their ritual. It is now, finally, that comprehension dawns on the audience; for all that every relationship develops its own system of meaning, there are certain words that everyone can understand, and the language of dysfunction threads through all our lives. The real world is clearly not real enough for our little housewife, and she has become so detached that her husband must end the fantasy from within: her 'lover' leaves her first. Pinter has fooled us, but we can only respond with pity; the lie which the poor woman lives is being forcibly \\	removed from her, and
\\ ^ ^the irony is that a marriage kept happy by fake infidelity is made suddenly unhappy by the injection of reality.
The Collection is a good match for "The Lover", for reality proves just as confusing for the inhabitants of this play as the one before it. Centring around a wife's confes-
sion of a fleeting affair, thoroughly modern in its business trip brevity, the play seesaws between two couples. They are both threatened by the implication of adultery, and the characters bounce from one encounter to another with an utterly involuntary quality. The older man cannot help but question his toy-boy snappishly over his callers and activities: one cannot see the love here, only the distrust and anticipation of deception. The toyboy receives the vengeful husband unwillingly and with an arrogant displeasure, and complicates the matter by half charming him with old boy banter and baffling him by offering multiple versions of the one night stand. What becomes increasingly clear is that what really happened and what the various characters wish had happened evolves throughout the play, and the complicated, damaged dynamic of each relationship is revealed through -the 'confession' of the wife and again, her so-called 'lover'. It appears that the truth of that night away was both more innocuous (no-one actually did anything wrong, practically speaking) and more dangerous (for what didn't happen frightened both so much they would rather that it had).
In Pinter honesty is never black and white, and what seems like deception is often closer to the truth, at least emotionally speaking. His reality is utterly subjective and the epistemic problem of how much we know and what to make of what we do holds his characters in thrall. What it certainly does is leave us with questions that catch at our heartstrings; the lives of his characters reflect back on us, and as we go home to our uniquely ordinary lives, we end the night less sure about ourselves than when we started.
tuesday the tuelfth of february tuo thousand and eight
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^jor "! tries to make sense of the human condition in an interview with Sally Ann Law, life coach
relatively new phenomenon, life coaching crossed the Atlantic in the late 1980s. Currently, there are a number of life coaches practicing in the United Klingdom, and some of the most well-paid reside in London. However, before facts get the better end of this article, let me dwell on what life coaches actually do for a living and why this is relevant for the unique student body at the London School of Economics that seems to be, almost without exception, drawn to the world of investment banking, accounting, and consulting.
Life coaching's closest sibling is probably executive coaching, but this is not where the influences from related fields end. People working in this area draw from a wide area of backgrounds, and, given the fact that this industry is unregulated, some even have no relevant background at all. Yet, they all have the same agenda: Helping the client in setting and reaching his or her goals. "Isn't this what people usually manage to do for themselves?" one might interject. However, things are not that simple.
Most clients of life coaches tend to be successful, which is unsurprising given steep hourly rates of £100 and above. Still, this leaves the question why these people seek this kind of help. To draft a banal example, one could examine the life of the majority of LSE students. Being a successful student, it is likely that your parents were keen on seeing you succeed. So you were sent (or shipped off) to a boarding school with good teaching. Thanks to this, and certain beneficial character traits, you did well enough on your A-Levels or the International Baccalaureate to gain admission to the London School of Economics. Some people have probably told you that they had the time of their lives at university.
At LSE,
nothing could b

from the truth. The focus is clearly on work, work, and work. Banks, consultancies, and blue chip corporations actively try to recruit you; being the young and malleable person you are, you become one of the happy sheep looking forward to earning heaps of money after graduation. There it is, a goal to strive towards. You end up spending a large part of your waking hours in the library, filling the few hours that could be actual spare time with extracurricular activities because your career adviser urged you to do so. Your vacations are filled with work placements and internships, and, once again, the thought that university is the best time of your life occurs to you to be rather cynical. Being the ambitious student that you are, you reach your goals and start your new life in the City.
Some years down the road, however, your initial enthusiasm might have dwindled. You realise that the work/life balance your company promised leaves a lot to be desired. Too bad that you can't vent your frustration anywhere.Your colleagues might not want to hear it, and your friends—well, as I just said, your colleagues might not particularly care. Burnout is on the horizon.
This is obviously a caricature. But seeing that our university breeds people that are campaigning to keep the library open after midnight so that they can study instead of getting a good night's sleep, it cannot not be too far from the truth for a sizeable fraction of our student body.
Back to life coaching in general, and Sally Ann Law in particular. Holding a PhD in psychology, and with extensive work experience as a research scientist for the HAND Corporation, as well as a consultant for the UN, the World Bank, the OECD, the European Commission and many US and European governmental departments, she certainly has an impressive background. Having spent her "professional life talking and listening to people from all walks of life", in combination with her obvious credentials, places her in a good position to offer advice to her clients. Advice, in this context, broadly speaking means helping the client to set and reach their goals.
By its very nature, life coaching is intimate affair, and, as Law repeatedly emphasized, rapport is of utmost importance. Even though she sees herself in a position where she could offer valuable advice to a wide range of people, she also stressed that it*
is a mutual process.
Not	only
should ji'
r


clients feel that they are able to confide in their coach, the life coach also has to warm to the client— a statement that Law backed by saying that she reserves the right to turn a client down if she feels they might be better helped by someone else.
I thought it reasonable to get an overview of her client base first. She revealed that she devotes two days a week for coaching in the City, where roughly forty per cent of her clients are located, and reserves the other three days for private clients. The creative sector has a huge demand, accounting for thirty to forty percent of clients. The remainder is made up by clients in very specific situations, which mostly center around work. Recurrent themes are career change, dealing with the loss of the job, or returning to work after having brought up a family. Overall, the issues are not overly surprising.
Yet, it is surprising that there is such an apparent demand for life coaching. She sees the main reason for increased demand of her services as the reflection of a trend within society to become more and more competitive. However, it is also a fact of life that there has always been a need for clear, objective advice. Sure, one could always ask parents, partners, friends, and mentors, but it is highly likely that all of them have vested interests in a person's decision. Whether this is also automatically one's own best interest might very well be a matter of debate. As a very interesting example, she brought up that the people we are closest to might not necessarily be able to offer much help in certain situations, for the reason that they are too similar to ourselves. Indeed, in order to think outside the box, it is advantageous to talk to someone outside of our regular life.
In this respect, we also touched upon the related issue of trust. We covered two aspects. While it might be claimed that people have a general problem trusting friends and colleagues, who would dare to tell their mentor that are planning to quit a job? One can never be completely be sure that something confessed to a colleague over a pint of beer after work won't be spread. In such a scenario, a non-judgmental attitude provided by an external coach might well be what is needed. And this is where Law sees her role in helping people making decisions by providing a safe place in which alternatives and their possible consequences can be weighed up against each other, until eventually a point of clarity can be reached.
Still, I was skeptical about the idea that decision makers should be unable to make up their minds once they have left their office buildings. To this objection Law retorted that these people oftentimes want to speed up the process of decision making by reaching out to someone who is able to help them sort out viable options, but in the end, the client has to realise what is best for him or her: "More or less, we all face the same challenges in life; we are all struggling. But in the end, we have to make our own deci-
sions.


tuesday the tuelfth of february, tuo thousand and eight
tyelve El«
josephcotterii! is happy to see gay culture go
Gay culture is dead. "Queer" identity isn't moving fast enough to keep up. The implications for whole swathes of apparently disinterested sexual and political theory are huge. This section of PartB might even have to go out of business. Above all, no longer allowing something as important as your culture to be defined by your sexuality - or something important as your sexuality to be defined by your culture - is a good thing.
It's important not to get too far ahead of ourselves. LGBT men and women will always congregate and share common social practices together. In that sense, they'll have a culture. On the other hand, they are no longer made to live in a distinctive society within a society; and ever fewer LGBT people choose to do so.
In the first place, gay culture is pretty obviously in an advanced state of systems collapse across the Western world. Its physical registers are no longer there. Small, geographically concentrated gay communities are already largely a thing of the past. This knocks a huge plank out of the mechanisms of developing and maintaining a distinctive culture, and it is evident in the small details as well as the big social changes. Pride parades are thinning out. Gay bars are emptying or going mainstream. Drag queens write Metro columns because they know lots of celebrities, not because they are drag queens.
To an extent, LGBT men and women are simply marching to the same socio-economic beat as everyone else. The American writer Andrew Sullian has argued that gay civil society has burgeoned just as the cultural constructs around it are crashing to the ground. As a political conservative, he means marriage and the family rather than activist groups -which is telling, given how LGBT people's fight for
equal marriage rights to a large degree represents the last hurrah of gay political culture. With the full set of civil rights almost complete, LGBT activism has little left to aim for. In any case, LGBT people's interest in marriage tells us something interesting about the universal stability of sexual preferences
On the other hand, gay culture has always been an unstable social construct precisely because of its sexual basis. Gay culture has died a little death with the passing of every generation. Unlike almost any other minority group, gayness can't be passed on or inherited. Stable sexual preferences do not after all set in until well after puberty. That means individuals who eventually develop persistent same-sex attractions will have lived in the mainstream for years, internalising the basic structure of its society. Clearly, this was a bad thing so long as LGBT people remained on the wrong side of history. As the mainstream becomes more liberal, however, the incentives for LGBT people to retreat into distinct, countercultural units vanish.
This suggests that there is a wider political story to the death of gay culture. After all, the passing of gayness as a discrete social categoiy is a bad development for society, under a certain knd of political theory. Since LGBT people acquire new and essentially arbitrary social information about themselves in early adulthood, they come very close to viewing society from the "veil of ignorance" and "original position" of modern social contract theory. When gayness suddenly makes you realise how arbitrary most social facts about people are, you tend to cleave closer to maintaining the schemes of basic liberties that undergird all liberal societies. With the almost complete naturalisation of same-sex preferences, this theme - and its political utility is becom-
ing less salient.
On the other hand, the main theoretical rival to political liberalism, communitarianism, also loses relevance in a post-gay world. This theory holds that minority groups should receive special cultural rights on account of their moral autonomy as communities. This all becomes so much verbiage when LGBT people effectively leave their minority status behind and join the mainstream. In short, the strange post-cultural, post-sexual fate of gayness in the modern world may be leading us well into uncharted political territory.
At the same, we should bear in mind that culture exists in order to change. The lesson of why gay culture in particular is dying may simply be that, at the end of the day, sex is just sex.

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VOTE SU08

How well are the Student Union's sabbatical officers doing?
Joseph Cotterill interviews them to find out

executive. It was after all set up to define a long-term vision for the Union's political structures. Bakeer-Markar acknowledges that the Governance Review process has been "delayed" during his tenure, for which he blames "politics" and "time constraints" imposed on C&S by the recent slew of heavyweight UGM motions. Ketteringham tells a different story. As far as he is concerned, the Review's fall "is symptomatic of wider problems in the Union." Other Union sources point to personal conflicts and frequent resignations within C&S itself. Some argue that only an entirely new Executive can reinvigorate the Governance Review.
As a rallying figure in the Union, the General Secretary's position therefore seems weak. His political capital was quickly expended over the course of two major letter-writing fiascoes over Michaelmas and Lent terms. Bakeer-Markar first sent a letter to all freshers informing them of the Union's policy of twinning itself with a Palestinian university, under a UGM motion passed during his predecessor's time in office. Secondly, the General Secretary and the Education and Welfare Officer together signed a letter supporting Ken Livingstone's bid for reelection as Mayor of London, in what they called their personal capacity. In both instances, figures in the Student Union argued that the General Secretary overstepped his jurisdiction.
Bakeer-Markar vidll not bend on the first letter: "I don't see it as a mistake." He insists that the Executive as a whole was following a UGM mandate. These points have been contested. The motion does not mention informing freshers of the change in policy, and his detractors would contend that having the fallout from the letter dispute spill over into the national press demonstrated Bakeer-Markar's political naivety.
The General Secretary says he led a "fresh team with not a lot of political knowledge". Meyer teUs a similar story, in explaining to me that she had to adapt quickly to the Union's political scene on coming into office. But then Meyer was indeed a relative outsider, coming from
a predominantly AU background. By contrast, Bakeer-Markar should not have allowed his tenure to lose early political momentum through a badly-handled mini-scandal. His second argument is even less convincing. This year's Executive were indeed voted into office in order to "reshape the structure" of the Union rather than "appease certain groups of people," as Bakeer-Markar terms it. However, it is not at all obvious that writing the Palestine letter was simply an attempt to reach a wider student audience - in fact, it can be read as a desire to appease interest groups within the Union.
In any case, the year's opening controversy was less important than the second great letter-writing scandal of the Executive's time in office. As the Union is a registered charity, both the General Secretary and the Education and Welfare officer broke the law by supporting a candidate running for political office. While Bakeer-Markar maintains that he signed the letter in his personal capacity in good faith, his opponents argue this was not enough to prevent his action being illegal. Bakeer-Markar says that he has received no complaints from the Charities Commission. It certainly is plain that both Sabbatical officers made what Bakeer-Markar calls a "genuine mistake" in signing the letter. The General Secretary's speed in issuing an apology suggests that he grasped the magnitude of his action. Nevertheless, Bakeer-Markar still has strong words for critics of his handling of the affair. He particularly resents "the way it was approached by the same group of students who put the case" for the first letter, and it is his "personal opinion" that the two campaigns were closely linked. "Some people go looking for controversies."
Whatever the truth of the matter, the Sabbaticals still have a few months of their term to run. Bakeer-Markar has plans to rationalise the Union's professional staff structure, as well as press the School to introduce subsidised foreign language support for all students. Meyer is already looking forward to the next Freshers' Fair; All's Teaching Task-force continues. The Executive will need to navigate a floundering Union, and a School that is adept at outflanking student demands: they have not so far accomplished this as well they could have done. There is still some time left to finish the job; the Sabbs ought to make use of it. ¦
2 12 Febru
Red isn't Dead
Women of the world, unite
Vladimir Unkovski-Koric^\N^
When Leon Trotsky was asked in 1932 a series of questions about life in the Soviet Union, he had to contend with the following: "Is it true that [in the USSR] a divorce may be had for the asking?' His answer could not have been more emphatic: 'Of course it is true. It would have been more in place to ask another question: 'Is it true that there are still countries where divorce cannot be obtained for the asking by either party to a marriage?'" Even today, divorce in England and Wales is granted on the basis of the irretrievable breakdown of marriage. The five grounds necessary to prove irretrievable breakdown include: adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion, two years' separation with consent, and five years' separation without consent. I was reminded of Trotsky's answer when I saw posters in Houghton Street last week calling on people to go on a 'Pro-test' against MP Anne Widdecombe's 'Passion for Life' tour. It seemed odd that over forty years after abortion was made legal in Britain, women still have to resist restrictions to abortion law using street mobilisations.
However shocking this is, it is all too easy to become complacent in the face of the 'career woman' fallacy that assumes women have overcome oppression in society. All the facts still point to the continuing disadvantage and cruelty women face in everyday life. They are expected to be the diligent, ambitious and flirtatious colleague at work, the super-attractive wife, the ideal home-maker, and the silent sufferer of domestic violence. According • to the Equal Opportunities Commission's equal pay task force in 2006, the pay gap between men and women was 17.2 per cent. Meanwhile, families are expected to shoulder the main burden of child-care and education. Childcare costs in Britain are the highest in Europe. According to a report in the Guardian in March 2002 about childcare funding, the public purse only gives £260 million; a massive £1545 million comes from private individuals. Women (and men) who make it into the governing or managerial elites can certainly buy their way out of the problem. Most, however, can't.
It need not be like that. "The increase in female employment', according to the Economist magazine in April 2006, 'has been the main driving force of growth in the past couple of decades. Those women have contributed more to global GDP growth than have either new technology or the new giants, China and India. Add the value of housework and child-rearing, and women probably account for just over half of world output." One would have thought that women's contribution to 'our' overall wealth would have led at least to a 35-hour week and free national childcare service. Instead we see regression on most indicators! Working class men and women in the US and America have had a relatively flat income for the last three decades while they work harder and for longer hours, enjoy fewer and deteriorating social services, and face more stress in daily life than they did at the end of the 1970s. According to LSE economist Richard Layard, happiness levels stalled in 1975. Continued rises in consumption have been attained not by rising levels of material production but largely by tying individual consumers into imsustainable levels of debt encouraged by speculative financial bubbles. We are beginning to see the beginnings of the end of that great illusion with the continued stock-market turmoil. This threatens the world economy with recession.
When that does happen, unemployment and cuts in welfare and childcare will all disproportionately affect working class women. And every women's movement has arisen from the radicalisa-tion of society as a whole from below. This occurred in the women's suffrage campaign, the demonstrations and strikes that inaugurated the Russian Revolution and spread world-wide in the years after the First World War, and the movements of the 1960s and 1970s. The renewed stirrings from below and interest for women's issues today portends the advent of women's movements and struggles in the coming period. Working women are already an important part of wider movements of resistance to neo-liberalism and war, being increasingly active in trade unions and anti-war protests. There is every reason for hope. United we can win social, racial and sexual liberation.



Blue is True

CCTV nation? If only the government were that competent
Annette Paceyl
We often hear that Britain is the most watched society anywhere in the free world. Privacy International, an advocacy group, ranks Britain in the worst category of privacy violators, alongside countries like China, Russia and the United States. CCTV is everywhere and millions of people in the UK are routinely filmed as they go about their daily business. Police databases hold DNA samples of millions of people who have been arrested but later released without charge. The issue of surveillance provoked fierce debate last week with the news that MP for Tooting Sadiq Khan was secretly recorded by police on a visit to his constituent Barbar Ahmad, who is being held in Woodhill prison suspected of terrorism offences. Are these powers of surveillance necessary to protect us from crime and terrorism, or is Britain turning into a police state?
Some claim that that those who have nothing to hide have nothing to fear, and that CCTV and covert surveillance activity by the police and the various security services are necessary in the interests of national security and crime prevention. The usefulness of CCTV to police is illustrated by TV news items on crime stories, which routinely show CCTV pictures of the actual crime taking place. Surely the law abiding majority stand only to gain from the correct identification and swift prosecution of street robbers, vandals and violent thugs who bring misery to the lives of many. The police DNA database also holds samples from witnesses and others who have volunteered their DNA. Some victims of crime want to expand the database to include all adults, or even to take DNA from everyone at birth.
In some ways it's not difficult to see the logic in these arguments. CCTV can just as easily prove the innocence of someone falsely accused as it can identify the guilty. As long as the accused can be reliably identified, CCTV can give police a more objective view of what happened which is fairer to both the victim and the accused than the subjective reports of witnesses. Making the DNA database universal would remove the stigma of being listed for those who have not been convicted of any offence. It could also act as a deterrent to would-be rapists or burglars who, knowing that a quick computer search could reveal their identity to police, might think twice. However, caution is needed.
This government has proved itself to be an untrustworthy guardian of our personal information. The use of CCTV needs to be carefully monitored and regulated to prevent it being misused, such as to capture PIN numbers or other information which could be useful to the very criminals it aims to combat. DNA is similarly open to misuse, such as the case revealed by BBCs Panorama programme last year where a man convicted of armed robbery was freed on appeal, after it emerged that his DNA had been planted at the scene by police.
Following the secret recording of Sadiq Khan, more allegations emerged that lawyer's conversations with their clients have been routinely bugged in the same prison, apparently without ministers being aware of it. The government seems to have either allowed this routine violation of rights or have not noticed it was happening - in either case a failure to fulfil their responsibility. Worse still, the government's mismanagement could have appalling consequences, for if evidence used to convict is found to have been obtained illegally then even violent criminals could have their convictions reversed. Not surprisingly. Conservative and Liberal Democrat MPs have demanded a full investigation; civil liberties campaigning group Liberty has said the case shows the complicated and piecemeal nature of privacy laws.
¦fuming off the CCTV cameras and scraping the DNA database would only aid criminals and terrorists, but the government's record of utter incompetence in safeguarding our data, ambivalent attitude to civil liberties and hopeless mismanagement of privacy laws is a cause for serious concern. So far it has failed to demonstrate the necessary competence for balancing national security with respect for privacy and the law, and the precious personal freedoms we entrust the government to uphold are at risk of being undermined.
thebeaverfeatui^^
Notes on Nothing Israel-Palestine, Part II
The same Middle East motion as was defeated two weeks ago has been reintroduced to the UGM. It should get the same result
Good government is about knowing when to stop. It is not a lesson the proponents of this Thursday's UGM motion on the Middle East seem to have learned.
With a few token - though admirable - changes/that motion essentially replicates the one already defeated in a previous General Meeting. It is important to note that its proponents were well vdthin their rights under the Union's constitution to do this; and that, giving them the benefit of the doubt, the new motion was probably introduced in a spirit of moderation rather than tactical manoeuvring around a slight hitch in a grand plan. But it is still not enough.
The motion's proponents have removed the first motion's repugnant rhetoric of "Israeli Apartheid." This is a welcome development. However, it is a shame that they seem not to have told the organisers of this Saturday's "Israeli Apartheid LSE Conference," who are closely associated with them. Still, it is also a good thing that the new motion now contains a crucial rider that the motion is not intended to cause any religious or national offence, nor to close down debate on the Middle East.
However, this is exactly what the motion's unchanged substantive content would do. Divesting from Israel would send a unmistakable signal that this Union had taken sides in a complex conflict. Above all, we have been here before. It was argued in this space two weeks ago that the defeat of the first motion had effectively wrecked the entire political programme of Palestinianism at the LSE, its short catechism of'Union Resolves' packing in everything the proponents could hope to achieve from using a students' union to fight a war on behalf of extremists halfway across the world. Political movements and governments are usually quite adept at redrafting legislation once they face oppositon. The sole exception is when they stake all of their policies at the same time, and gamble on either achieving full reform, or receiving a vote of no confidence.
This is what the first Palestine motion set out to achieve. It was summarily no-confidenced by the UGM. The second motion does nothing to change that. It resolves exactly the same policies; and it is still the same v^ong route out of the conflict.
Joseph Cotterill
Features Editor
^ FEATURES

Internet

found
With the recent cable cut in the Middle East and the mother of all computer viruses on the horizon, will 2008 be the year that killed the internet? Preeya Sud Isn't so sure
From the day the internet began its inexorable creep over our lives, people have been predicting its ultimate demise accompanied by doom, catastrophe and chaos - the usual semantics of apocaljrpse. The impacts would be huge - a global financial system in disarray, stocks and businesses tumbling, not to mention the trauma of a world without F^cebook. And for the conspiracy theorists predicting disaster, 2008 is so far shaping up to be a great year. However, from zombie computer networks to terrorist organisations, earthquakes to errant anchors; the form of the electronic fifth horseman of the apocalypse is far from clear.
Our high-tech interconnected world relies on countries being literally chained together in a complex fiber-optic network sunk into the ocean floor. The scale of this network is truly colossal, with the longest cable measuring 39,000 km and connecting over 30 countries from Germany to Australia and Japan. Considering their valuable function, these cables are surprisingly vulnerable; some are no thicker than the width of a finger.
Sometimes, something happens, one of them to snaps and a section of the world is left stranded from the world wide web. Usually, the biggest businesses are unaffected, simply rerouting their connections through other cables. For them, the period spent waiting for the cable to be repaired represents slower but not cut internet connections. The real victims are the small businesses and private users; the former are suddenly unable to transfer money, the latter find themselves relying on snail mail.
The extent of disruption to the
internet depends on which cables are damaged. At the end of January, two cables in the Mediterranean linking Europe to South Asia through the Middle East were damaged. The result was disruption to 70 per cent and 60 per cent of internet services in Egypt and India respectively. For India, the global leader of offshoring, its £24 billion industry in this area suffered from delayed links with European clients. However, US-Indian connections were largely unaffected, since these run through the Pacific.
The discovery of a third cable-cut in the region last Monday immediately fuelled hysteria amongst the conspiracy theorists. Some argued we were witnessing the emergence of a new breed of digital Islamic terrorists, focusing on digital dominance (although why Islamic terrorists who seem to use the internet to organize their activities would want to cut themselves off from it is unclear). Others said it was an attempt by the US to isolate the Middle East, exacerbate political tensions and incite the beginnings of world war three. The theories continued to pour in through Friday, when an abandoned anchor was discovered as the culprit.
In fact, cut cables are often damaged in non-sinister ways. In 2006, an earthquake off the coast of Taiwan severed several cables, leaving internet services in the area affected for up to three weeks. On the other hand, last June 11 km of expensive cable was pirated off the coast of Vietnam and sold as scrap. Still, it is unlikely overall that the fifth horseman is going to be someone out to sever a deep sea cable. Since smooth running of the internet is now crucial to the world economy, and necessity is the mother
Botnets ma ke profits because the internet is so Intensively used. Like all the best parasites, it is better for them to keep their hosts alive than kill them completely
of invention, then the result will be tougher, less vulnerable cables.
Fortunately for the theorists, there is still another candidate for 2008's fifth horseman: the zombie computer network. Many computer experts are hedging their bets on a formidable virus - the Storm botnet - finally wreaking havoc on the internet, having first emerged out of the cyber swamp in 2007. Botnets are groups of infected computers which can be controlled remotely as and when the controller wants. The system essentially works by sending out spam email with infected links. Once a machine is infected. Storm begins contacting other machines via peer-to-peer networking to update a list of active hosts. Once this is done, it does one of two things, both hugely damaging to internet security.
Firstly, it may begin to spew out spam emails. These either just enlarge the network, or they can induce recipients to act in ways that benefit the controller. This works mainly by sending out spam with fake stock tips resulting in artificially inflated stock prices as people act on the news. The organizers then cash in to make profits. This year though, Storm has reportedly changed tactics - targeting online bank accounts by inducing individuals to divulge account details through infected links.
Alternatively the botnet could start launching a denial of service (DoS) attack, which makes a comput-er unavailable to its users. Last year, some estimates put Storm's size at 1.7 million computers. Some believe this would be enough to launch a sustained DoS attack on a small country - effectively rendering huge swathes of geography disconnected for
extended periods of time. Moreover, Storm has shown amazing resilience to attempts to disable it. Infected machines are not always active, so the size and composition of the network is constantly changing. Storm will also set the benchmark for future generations of computer viruses, ensuring a threat to the world wide web for years to come. Storm's controllers are • also adept at targeting it in revenge at research institutions which are investigating the virus.
But is the botnet really a credible threat to the survival of the internet? We should have our doubts. An update of Windows' Malicious Software Removal Tool by Microsoft last year is estimated to have reduced the size of Storm by up to 20 per cent. Even though Storm adapted and has grown since, it is encouraging that there seem to be ways thwart its power More importantly, the Storm botnet makes profits because people use the internet so much. Like all the best parasites, it is better for the botnet to keep its host alive rather than kill it completely.
In an increasingly web-reliant world, having the internet down for even a day would have huge economic consequences, so yes - we should be worried about vulnerable frameworks and malevolent networks. But lik€ all the best species, the internet is constantly defending, adapting and upgrading. Whoever the fifth horseman might be, he's definitely not wielding a digital axe. With the Middle East's deep sea cable network currently under repairs, it looks like it's safe for the internet to go back into the water - for now. |
FEATURES
14 iieaver 12 February 2008
Why is it that today's students seem to find themselves on the angry and disenchanted fringes of the political spectrum? The received wisdom says that the stagnation of Britain's political contest, with the Tories and Labour supposedly producing ever similar policies, has driven young voters either to supporting the Liberal Democrats, embracing radical socialism, or self-imposed dis-enfranchisement. This is, admittedly, a substantial generalisation of the political views of students. Ask an LSE student where they stand on the political spectrum and you're probably just as likely to find a young Thatcher as an aspiring revolutionary. When it comes to polling day, however, the numbers reveal that this caricature of British students is accurate. If students comprised the entire electorate, the House of Commons would look very different. A January 2005 survey of students by MORI revealed that 21% would vote for the Liberal Democrats, while only 17% would vote Labour and 12% Toiy. The rest were undecided or voting for minority parties. To put these statistics into perspective, the results of the 2005 general election, held a few short months after this survey was conducted, gave Labour 35% of the vote, the Conservatives 33%, and the Lib-Dems 22%. Although the percentage of the electorate supporting the Liberal Democrats was almost the same in the Student survey as in the election, the national vote for both Labour and the Tories was about twice the student vote. So, students are abandoning the 'big two' political parties to support the Liberal Democrats and other minority parties. But what will happen when those polled reach middle age? In the long run, could this apparent generational shift in party alignment radically change Britain's political landscape?
Probably not. To claim, as has been said often in the past few years, • that students have abandoned the political mainstream requires making the tenuous assumption that young voters had an allegiance to one of the big two before they took their leave. The opposite is probably true. Many students and other young voters have not yet found their political orientation. As students at the LSE, we are particularly familiar with having our political views challenged and altered. In fact, the widespread support of minority parties among today's students will probably shift to widespread support for the status quo as we tumble helplessly towards middle age. As we age, it seems that we tend to realise that the lofty intellectual heights we believed we had reached as undergraduates were not all that great. Although you can pull off radical Marxism as a nineteen-year old sociology student, it is not so practical when you're holding down a nine-to-five job with three children. Many readers of some deeply-held ideology or other will find the claim that they will one day vote for political orthodoxy outrageous. However, one need only look at the political history of the past century to show that this has happened again and again.
Student radicalism is not a new phenomenon, but a tradition as old as higher education itself. Wherever you find eighteen-year olds with no jobs and too many books, you tend to find radical politics. However, no generation of students in the recent past has dramatically changed the political landscape as they have grown older. The baby boomer generation who took to the streets in 1968 - a time which perhaps epitomises the anti-establishment tradition of students -grew up to become the power suit-wearing yuppies of the Eighties who kept the Conservatives in power for 18 years. Gordon Gecko himself probably had long hair and a beard while at university. Similarly, the Generation X 'dropouts' who embraced voter apathy as a full blown ideology eventually became the eager voters who gave Tony Blair and New Labour their 1997 landslide. Indeed, we need only look inside the party
Charles Hodgson has some bad news for student radicals
CHILDREN OF THE REVOLUTION WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE SOIXANTE-HUITARDS?
1968 marked a turning point in student radicalism across Europe and all over the world. Its political legacy, however, was mixed.
Daiilel C^hn-Bendit 1^ iatour protests against the French government in May 1968, evenbialiy sparking a general strike and a civil emergency. Forty years on, Mr Cohn-Bendit is a mainstream Green MEP who campaigned for the European constitution in 200S.

"For most people, by middle age our political beliefs bear little resemblance to the views we hold as students"
Tariq Ali organised student demonstrations in Britain against against the Vietnam War, rising through the ranks of Trotskyist politics after 1968. As a regular Guardian contributor and prolific author, he continues to inveigh against United States foreign policy, and remains a radical leftist.
which won that election to find prime examples of how student politics eventually give way to conformity. During his days at Cambridge, former Home Secretary Charles Clarke was president of the National Union of j Students' Broad Left faction, a coali- ; tion of liberal, radical labour and -communist students. Thirty years S later, of course, Mr Clarke as s Education Secretary oversaw the® introduction of university top up fees «
-	hardly the kind of policy that his ^ pals on the 'Broad Left' would have 3 approved. This is not merely a trait of opportunistic politicians either. LSE alumnus Rod Liddle, once a member of the Socialist Workers Party, went on to become an associate editor and columnist for that institution of right wing journalism. The Spectator. It is clear that, for many, if not most people, by middle age our political beliefs bear little resemblance to the views we hold as students.
Why does this happen? How could radical views die completely as we age? One possible explanation for this phenomenon is that political orthodoxy changes over time to incorporate the most sane of formerly radical ideas. Environmentalism is a good example. During the Eighties and early Nineties environmentalist ideas were almost synonymous with anti-establishment politics. However, as environmentalism has become more understood and widespread, the political parties that were once the enemies of environmental progress have embraced the fight against climate change as part of their very rai- . son d'etre. Instead of stubbornly sticking to one ideological position, waiting to be killed off by the opinions of the next generation, political parties adapt their positions to survive. In this way, views that were once on the fringe of politics are now universally accepted. It happened with universal suffrage, slavery, labour unionism, civil rights, and most recently environmentalism. Radical ideas tend either to die out or join the mainstream.
So, despite the perception of student politics as liberal, apathetic, or far-left, the long term impact of student politics on Britain's political landscape will probably be minimal. No matter how deep you think your political colours (or lack thereof) run, they will very likely change with time
-	perhaps into a hue that, at present, you find disgusting. So next time you are protesting the courting of a Saudi Prince, or a Chinese official, or even an American Secretary of State by the British political establishment, pause to consider the possibility that one day you might be on the other side of the picket line. ¦
4-

FEATURES

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•» .- , • -1' .
Smoke, Mirrors, and SocGen
GBErau
Alexander Boyne says the Kerviei affair doesn't add up
Another year, another corporate scandal. The investigation into Jerome Kerviel's trading activity at Societe Generale, which led to 4.83 billion euros in financial trading losses for the French bank, needs to find answers to a lot of questions. How did Mr Kerviei manage to sidestep the control systems at SocGen and not get noticed? How long did SocGen know about the trades before acting? Who is to blame? The answers have important implications not only for SocGen, but also for the reputation of France's financial sector. Anything that harms the image of this 150-year old pillar of the French economy also harms the reputation of French business and reflects poorly on the image of the country. The banking industry and the French nation have a huge stake in the revelations that any investigation should bring.
What has emerged so far is that Mr Kerviei, a 31-year old junior trader, placed bets amounting to roughly 50 billion euros on the Eurostoxx index, Germany's DAX, and London's FTSE without hedging (managing the risk) for a downturn in the market. (To put this into perspective, 50 billion Euros was about the same as the stock valuation of the firm.) Since the markets did indeed go sour, Kerviel's bet incurred huge losses for the French finance giant. The timing of the bets and the resultant losses is interesting. Even though Eurex, a derivatives exchange, notified SocGen of Mr Kerviel's unusual trading activity back in November 2007, the bank claims it only "discovered" the unauthorised trades on Sunday 20 January. SocGen only managed to unload his position on the market on Monday, 21 January: which also happened to be the worst one-day fall in the stock market since 9/11. Talk about bad timing.
But how did Mr Kerviei manage to hide a 50 billion euro bet? Was he that smart? Was he acting alone? Perhaps not. Mr Kerviei was probably just well trained and may have colluded with colleagues to hide his
actions. Regarding the former, Mr Kerviei had enough experience in the back-room operations of the firm to know how to disguise his bets as within acceptable limits, and he probably acted alone. SocGen was reported as saying that Mr Kerviei used "his years of experience in processing and controlling market operations to circumvent controls that allow the bank to check the characteristics of operations by its traders." .
This all seems too simplistic an answer. It is certainly too flattering to SocGen: if you believe this version of the truth, Mr Kerviei took advantage of his advanced knowledge to twist the system to serve his own purpose, leaving SocGen helpless to stop it. There may be more to the story. After
created a surplus of 28 million euros by January 2007. That eventually escalated to 500 million euros some months later. Mr Kerviei says he kept quiet, however, because he was too embarrassed to disclose his winnings for fear of reprisal from his superiors. So he hid his activities, eventually adopting strange behaviour such as not taking vacation time in 2007, and not allowing colleagues to replace him at his desk when he left at the end of the day, which was standard practice in his department. Mr Kerviei himself admits that it was plainly obvious that he was simply not allowing colleagues to verify his work when he was not in the office, something that his supervisors should have sniffed out a long time ago.
Kerviei would simply cut-and-paste letterheads in emails to create fictitious documents to cover his tracks, which John O'Doherty of the Financial Times has described as the "equivalent of making a fake passport with a cornflakes box and a red crayon." This is hardly then the work of a world-class sleuth. Even regardless of this, the amount of money Mr Kerviei was making for the firm was simply too great to go unnoticed. SocGen managers should have known something was up, and they probably did. So long as he was making the firm money, SocGen turned a blind eye. SocGen only pulled the plug after Mr Kerviei started losing large sums in early 2008. After years of profit, Mr Kerviei was dispatched after one


Anything that harms the image of SocGen also harms the reputation of French business. The banking Industry and France have a huge stake In the Kerviei revelations
SocGen was allegedly aware of Mr Kerviel's activities, the French authorities were notified and Mr Kerviei was interrogated. Those interrogations were leaked to the press, and it seems that SocGen may be more responsible than it would have the rest of the financial world believe. According to the reports, Mr Kerviei began making his unauthorised bets way back in 2005, making the bank half a million euros. Fuelled by early success, he ploughed more money into his risky bets, and he claims to have
While SocGen would have you believe that Mr Kerviei shrewdly circumvented the control systems, another explanation emerges that challenges this version of the truth: SocGen did not do anything to stop Mr Kerviei so long as he kept making the firm money. This theory holds some weight. It turns out that Mr Kerviel's tactics to deceive his superiors were sometimes so simplistic that it seems ludicrous to even suggest that nobody could have spotted it. For example, it has been claimed that Mr
month of losses. It hardly seems like a coincidence.
Whether Mr Kerviei was simply smart enough to get around the system or SocGen was asleep at the wheel, his motivations remain unclear. Greed is unlikely. Given that Mr Kerviei was only making about 100,000 euros (roughly £70,000) a year at the time, which is considered underpaid by most standards in the industry, this theory seems plausible: except Mr Kerviei never actually gained from his misbehaviour. Mr
Kerviei could not profit from his bets because they were never officially recorded by the bank: he could not profit from winnings he was hiding in the first place.
The more likely explanation is that he did it for recognition. Not having gone to one of France's grandes ecoles, the elite network of schools that are roughly the equivalent of Oxbridge and the LSE in the UK, Mr Kerviei would always be an outsider at SocGen, which normally only accepts and promotes the cream of the crop. This may have led Mr Kerviei to push the limits to prove his worth.
Mr Kerviei seems to be gaining recognition from the public. T-shirts emblazoned with "I (heart) Jerome ¦ Kerviei" are being advertised on the web. A Eacebook group honouring his "achievement" has been created. Even the media is acknowledging that the average French citizen somehow romanticises his acts. In a society considered closed to those without the prestige that grandes ecoles like the Polytechnique, SciencesPo, or the Sorbonne can bring to a CV, people like hearing about an undistinguished man who, armed with an undergraduate degree from Nantes and postgraduate degree from Lyons (both considered ordinary by French standards), destroyed the livelihood of rich, snobbish bankers working in la Defense, the Parisian business centre.
In any case, SocGen still managed to make a profit for 2007, but its losses were so astronomic, so catastrophic, and so unexpected, that the French bastion of finance now finds itself at risk of a takeover after its stock plummeted by nearly half. Competitors in the banking industry have taken notice of SocGen's falling stock price. BNP Paribas and Credit Agricole, two other prominent French banks, are both mulling over a takeover offer. The two could make a joint bid and split the company. What wiU survive of France's reputation in finance remains to be seen. ¦
LISTINGS
16 iBeaver 12 February 2008
j'	TUESDAY, 12th FEBRUARY
12:00 Knitting
Knitting Society, Quad
1
19:00The Economics Debate Cup
Induction, Economics Soc., D602 \
21:00 Beach Party
Italian Society, Motion Bar
I	WEDNESDAY, 13th February
! 13:15 Mass
Catholic, Chaplaincy
14*00	Wednesdays: Are you a i
good listener? Parish Hall
19*00 ^^'"9 Dance (Beginners) Swing Dance, Parish Hall
THURSDAY, 14th February
10:00 Valentines Day Rose Service RAG, Houghton Street
www.lsesu.com
SU EXECUTIVE OFFICE HOURS:
General Secretary,
F^dhil Bakeer Markar Thursdays 2.30PM, Quad
Treasurer,
Libby Meyer Thursdays 2.30PM, Quad
13:00
LSESU, Old Theatre THURSDAY, 14th February
,1 y.QO Book Club-
'A Passage to India'
Literature Society, Z229
'1 9*00 (Beginners)
Dance, Parish Hall
' Lots Valentine's Day BLIND Speed Dating, RAG/Pulse, Quad
'20*30 (Advanced)
Dance, Parish Hall
FRIDAY, 15th FEBRUARY
•19:00 RAG Reels Finale
LooSE TV, New Theatre
't
r21:00^'"5^'
LSESU, Quad/Tuns/Underground are you feeling stressed from essay deadlines and exams looming?
exercise is a great way to destress so...
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Thursdays 2.30PM, Quad
Education and Welfare,
Ruhana Ali
Thursdays 2.30PM, Quad
Women's Officer,
Daisy Mitchell-Forster Thursdays 12PM, Quad
Environment and Ethics,
Aled Dilwyn Fisher Thursdays 12PM, Quad
LGBT Officer,
Dominic Rampat Wednesdays 10AM,N3
Societies Officer,
Carys Morgan Thursdays 2PM, Quad
Get down to the USE SU Gym and take advantage of our fantastic membership pricesi
Daily, 1 Month, 4 Month, 12 Month options available***
Membership can cost you as little as £8.33 a month if you join up on a 12 month contract.
Opening Hours: Monday to Friday Sam - 9pm; Saturday 10am - 6pm; Sunday 11am - 5pm Tel; 02079556002
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*** Induction and £5 Joining fee required if a new member.
KrTnwtirDs\
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HUMMUS WHERE THE V IS
Yeah, we know it's corny.
But seriously, hummus bros makes
a perfect Valentine's date.
Just make sure you slip us the free dessert voucher while your date's not looking.
hummus bros
hbros.co.uk/LSE
^ ^	Victoria House
37-63 Southampton Row
\
London WC1B 4DA 020 7404 7079
Opening Hours:
l\/londay-Friday 11am - 10pm
IBeaver 112 February 2008 117
Team Mates
Women's Rugby
Footbal
Season Review
Best Banter..
Kim So no one has a tampon? Who is behind me James in the scrum?" Sharing, as always, in caring.
Worst Banter...
Ricki
"My friend had a dog. It was called Lily. So i Lehrer used to call it Uly, lily, lily"
Best player...
Katy Oh no, not again." Bager- So cry's the opposi-man	Katy throws
them to the ground.
Worst player...
Martin Hammond
Six match attendances, six losses. Maybe some pompoms would help?
Most likely to be late...
Rachel •••especially in Callela due
Allch- washing, diying and straightening her hair Urch three times a night.
Most likely to pull in Walkabout...
"It's cheaper to share a taxi home." Cheap.
Allison Schultz
Least likely to pull in Walkabout...
...because she never goes. Hannah Maybe she is in the AU Chia	sport? Good job
she is damn good at that.
Longest in the Shower...
Lia Derani-yagala
She couldn't find the exit. Dizzy blond wannabe.

^ Starting 7:30pm In the Tuns v ' Which team can raise the most?


Because drinking is right
Ists Football
Healy and Low
The LSE ist XI Football Team have been under somewhat of a growing period this season, but with only three players leaving us at the end of the year, next season looks very promising. Mike Maynard's team was much depleted from last year, whenever you have Rob Low at the centre of your defence you know you're facing an uphill battle! Last term saw some
then hugging each other. This resulted in all of us chomping at the bit for the referee (who incidentally the most committed man in the FC, Brian Healy) to blow the whistle. Every man came into that game wanting to prove his worth to the team, and this was highlighted as Southbank were forced onto the back foot as we played some of the most attractive football of the season. We struck early after our very own Nordic "spit svoast" Sondre slipped in a delightful ball to Jo Knoertzer to slot home. The 1®^ half was notable for some exceptional fight dis-
Holloway. This match in itself perhaps highlighted the way the team has grown since the start of the season. The defence was exceptionally led and marshalled by the increasingly impressive centre back partnership of Rob "Head Boy Jerry" Fenton and Rob "who ate all the pies?" Low; with Tom Jacques, perhaps the team's most consistent performer, putting in another outstanding display of defensive work against one of the top wingers in ULU. Mike "Footlong" Maynard, Nick Crawford and Rich Roberts, who himself has been the cre-
in the correct frame of mind for the match; in particular Daniel Gerald Holness gave Maynard a nm for his money in the centre of the park, in a battle which ended in stalemate. oily Ursino gave the thirds what creative spark they did have and was close to creating some good chances for his team, leaving the Is to receive a severe bollocking at half time from the Big Dick himself. Following this the 3rds didn't have a sniff at goal, as the defence shut up shop. To separate the teams it took some awesome vision from MJ, an inch perfect cross from Jo,


1,*^ JB
::r ^


^when aygpoa cause.
H i'ii.
mixed results, with an expected win against the	and some strong performances against the likes of Imperial Ists. Unfortunately the team was unable to produce any kind of consistency The start of 2008 seemed to show that there would be no buck to this trend, with losses against Royal Hollogay and St. Farts. However, following a bust up between a few of the more vocal members of the team, which resulted in a former AU Sportsman of the year, who gained his crown for his boxing successes, being knocked down to the ground by an unnamed team-mate (Jo), there seems to have been some sort of revolution. The players themselves became determined to produce the performances, results, and consistency that separates them as the premier team in the university.
Southwank 1®^ XI were the unfortunate first victims of the new look LSE 1®*- XI. Ed 'anti-banter' Healy introduced some pre-match methods used at QPR where we get ourselves up for the game through a combination of hitting each other
played by MJ, forcing himself back into the team and into Maynard's plans for the remainder of the season.
A problem the team had had was losing the big turning points, missing penalties or chances at crucial times, or conceding at decisive moments. There was one such turning point at the end of the
half, as their striker got through to a 1-on-l with Ed. Ed was beaten, but an outstretched leg on the goal line from a defender managed to divert the ball onto the post and into the keeper's arms (the only time we've been grateful to the Low's body mass). Five minutes into the second half our captain led by example, and managed to put home a goal mouth scramble, leaving us to win 2-0. A very solid and professional performance, and one which should have resulted in more goals had some of our better chances not fallen to right back Tom 'Frenchy' Hunter who suffered a nose bleed he was so high up the pitch. Following this match we had to face the best team in ULU, a team which had beaten us 4-1 a week previously, Royal
^. - A-i
ative force of the team, battled extremely hard in midfield to ensure we were in the game at all times, and Jo, MJ and Sondre did well whenever we had a slight sniff at goal. Ed Healy dominated his penalty box with ease, the end result being that the best team in ULU were not able to break us down. The teams were both playing to the best of their ability, and were deadlocked all the way to the end of extra time, only for the 1®^® to lose in the cruellest of ways - penalties.
Fresh off the back of beating the LSE 2'^'^ XI a jubilant and confident	team
strolled out onto pitch 1 at Berrylands. Every year they declare themselves to be 'the real LSE I®'' team' and this is what they were determined to prove in their first true test of this CLAIM. The first half of this match saw the XI come extremely close to taking a shock lead against the Is, who looked like they expected victory to come easily and so played as if it was a gentle training session. Louis Crow seemed to have got his troops
and a typically calm finish from Sondre to provide what was the game's decisive goal. ' The victory should have been sealed with 10 minutes to go, as the in form Monty Ismail stepped up to take a penalty. He put it wide of the mark; leaving a frantic finale to, what was in essence, a poor match. In the end 1-0 seemed to be a fair result, confirming the natural order, and dispelling any claims to the crown.
A superb 4-1 victory against Westminster 1®^ XI at the aptly named 'Polytechnic Ground' left the 1®*- team in position in its BUSA group, only 1 win away from promotion. There are a number of big matches still to play this season, with King's I®''® and Imperial's 1®^® still to come, and what is important now is to build on what we have achieved so far, in terms of performances, partnerships and team building, and ensure that next season the 1®^® bring back the success that we have had in previous years.
SPORTS
Rugby
From Ashes We Rise - Rugby Turds
Sam .bbakoumov
LSE 3rds Kings 2nds
27 17
With the end of the season drawing to a close and not a single win behind us it felt like the club spirit has disappeared, that we were on our own to make our final battle against the Strand Poly, but that day it was all about to change!
With great support from the IXV Captain Ollie Periy and 2XV Captain Dan Yuen, we marched on to Berrylands with the full club behind us! With the hearts beating fast with passion and belief the men were ready to take everything they had to the Strand Poly. They made a mockery of us the previous match and the scars were left that did not allow us to forget! There was no aim to win but to inflict pain upon the enemy! To leave them crawling back to their wasteland!
The sun was high; the wind behind us and only the smell of fear came from the opposition's half as we scored our first try in the opening minutes of the match! Every man was united by a single cause to take back his pride, to come out a winner, a champion!
Women's Football
The opposition's feeble attempts to put pressure on our forwards only brought them more pain; one by one their men kept on screaming in agony from our ferocious tackles! But for a second we let our guard down and the Polly managed to squeeze past our defence and get ahead by a converted try. Such act only made us stronger; it brought out the fire in us! What followed was pure rage as we went on to inflict further damage to our opposition, great number of penalties were given away but at every breakdown one of us made sure that one of them would not get up! The injury count for the Polly was rising too fast for them to handle!
Even with us giving them so much ground they could not utilise it successfully and had to turn to making dirty plays, ruining the great rules and traditions of the game. But there was one man that would just not take it, "the Monster" Fabijan, some say that he is not a man but a beast in cased in a man's body! His foe was not aware what mistakes they were making by foolishly assaulting our players as Fabijan hammered his foe to the ground, even the ref shook in fear as he took out a yellow card in an attempt to try and keep "the Monster" under control. Now with only fourteen and only seven in the pack we battled on
to show how a gentlemen's game is supposed to be played!
With the second half upon us it wasn't long until we proved again that our spirit could not be broken as James Sheppard, probably the smallest man on the field and our scrum half, scored a tremendous try in the left hand cor-
ner. With the score well in our favour it was time to share the glory of the forthcoming win with our club members, allowing some of the gathered First's and Second's players to stretch out there legs and bring even further damage to the King's team.
Ten minutes into the sec-
ond half and we have made our final blow with the opposition tired of being hit by our solid pack they pleaded to go uncontested and as gentlemen we agreed to do them that favour.
Of course there are the try scorer's that I must commemorate: Oliver Townsend, Adam Clarke, James Sheppard; but it
Results
was the team spirit and the club support that made us all Champions that day, and as the Strand Polly crawled back to their side of the fence, our men with heads held high marched off to sing the hymn of Win!
Play, Win, Drink

f %
"Wait a second, there is a women's FC?" "Hold on... you actually play games?""Are they 90 minutes long?" We hear these questions often. Usually in the Tuns on a Wednesday night. So please, let us take this opportunity to introduce ourselves. We are the women's FC. We party hard, we play hard and are currently tied at the top of our league.
The week before last, despite gale force winds, we had an outstanding match facing City "University" Ists.
Until Sunday's match City were flying high having only lost one game- this was to be a WFC showdown.
To cut a long story short we won 12-1. Avery "I like to flash people" Hancock scored four goals, Chioma "I love football more than anything" Patrick three goals, Katee Hui "yes its socially acceptable to wear tights on the pitch" three goals, Astrid "yes, I like men despite my short hair and excellent football skills" Brown and one from Shamar
Ennis.
Other notable contributions came from Harriet Jackson, it was her first game-we hope she continues to bring good luck, and our goalie Asha "the cat" Santchurn, who always saves the day when all other line of defence fail. We are pleased to have Danielle Tida Uppake back, although hoping she doesn't use too many of her boxing skills to solve disputes with the ref.
The team has started the
new year strong both on and off the field. We have big hopes for the remainder of the season; finding a coach, maybe some cheerleaders, a three legged pub-crawl and the usual AU nights. After possibly overdoing the tequila at our Margarita night, we realized the WFC can certainly be drinkers and athletes!
So, the next time you wonder about the Women's FC, you now know. We play, we win, we drink and we just keep getting better and better
Who Shat on Who?
Football
LSE 2nds 1-2 LSE 3rds LSE 4ths 5-0 RUMs 3rds LSE 5ths 2-1 Holloway 5ths LSE 6ths 5-1 Imperial 7ths LSE Ists 1-0 LSE 3rds LSE 2nds 1-1 UCL 2nds Lost 5-4 on penalties after extra time LSE 4ths 4-0 Kings 5ths LSE 5ths 1-0 Holloway 6ths LSE 7ths 3-0 St Georges
Men's Hockey
. LSE Ists 5-4 Kings Ists LSE 1sts 1-3 Imperial Medics Ists
Netbait
' LSE Ists 25-25 Imperial Medics Ists
Women's Rugby
LSE Ists 27-31 St Georges Ists |
Squash
LSE Women's 1sts 5-0 St Georges 1sts : | r LSE Women's 1sts 0-4 University of Sussex Ists; LSE Men's 4ths 0-5 Imperiai Coftege 2nds ; |
Volieybali
LSE Mixed Ists 0-3 Kings College Mixed f
Basketball
^Women's Firsts 38-41 Uoi^^rslty of \
¦ ..-J - M
IBeaverl 12 February 2008 119
Football
Football found dead at Benylands: Fifth Team arrested on suspicion of murder
STK
LSE 5ths	2
Hollovvay 5ths	1
LSE 5ths	1
Holloway Btlis	0
The chatter which always follows the conclusion of amateur competition, the reliving of heroics and horrors, could be heard ringing from the clubhouse. A couple of revellers stumbled out onto the deserted playing fields to catch a final glimpse of the sun which had spent the whole day painting faces red. Such unusual weather for early February. If only the controversy had stopped there.
There it lay, the being we all thought to be an incorporeal manifestation of all that is true in our corner of the galaxy, still and peaceful. Closer inspection revealed the terrible truth. The sweet inno-
cent body bludgeoned, mutilated. Twisted and taught out off all recognition from what we knew and loved.
No one knows who struck the final blow, indications are indeed that we shall never know.
So the Fifths find themselves in the dock once again, facing accusations of crimes against humanity. Fortunately this team has one of the most feared defence teams in the ULU world. We have all been instructed from a young age to ¦ play to our strengths. This mantra has . received myriad interpretations across the ages, used in the name of valour by some, fuelled the evil of others. We all hope to be the former but invariably give in to the temptation of the latter.
Events leading up to the murder are unclear. It is believed that the Fifth team entered the contest with the Holloway hoodlums with a firm conviction that victory would constitute a major step towards the holy grail of promotion. The battle hardened
veterans took to the turf with what we assumed to be honorary intentions. But from the outset it was clear that the end was being used to justify the means.
The initial blows were struck with a long ball type weapon. A heave over the top was smartly dispatched by Knuckles, a man who is no stranger to having blood on his hands. Any notions of the old girl going quickly and quietly were quickly put to bed. I found myself parrying a vicious blow onto the post seconds after. Titus Bickerton became tormentor in chief but his prodigious talent for causing annoyance was not simply reserved for those in white. Cries of 'legs' and 'think about it' wake one from even the deepest slumber.
Feeling the life being squeezed out of their own campaign, Holloway resorted to desperate tactics. The linesman was raising his arm like he had recently attended a rally of the Hitler Youth. The aforementioned evil was
spreading to all parts of the field. However Knuckles once again proved to be the consummate master of the dark arts, breaking free to strike a fatal blow to the heart. Even the wonder strike which caught the Maginot fifth team back line off guard could not postpone the inevitable.
The deed was not complete. Holloway returned on that fateful Saturday with sharper weapons in tow. Determined to breath life back into the game we had come so close to eliminating a mere three days earlier. If only they offered medical degrees and not NVQs. Also the fifths had been shorn of their most macabre of competitors. Knuckles had responded to the promises of a shaman in the south west to enlarge his little acom heart and remedy his penchant for domestic violence forever. Cue another titanic battle between good and evil.
The fifths once against began to carry out their own final solution. Based on rock solid foundations the blows
began to fall, much like the boxer punches by virtue of his sturdy stance, the fifths are anchored by the substantial backsides of messrs Greenall and Bickerton. Despite the at times superior efforts of the angels of Egham, at no point to the fifth team hulk look threatened by breach.
Hence the onus was on those devilish deviants in the attack to do the damage, push the stake into the core of the game and finish it off once and for all. An uncharacteristic sojourn up field from Luke Thompson, enervated from his own American war of independence the night before, led to high ball soaring towards the box. An again uncharacteristically deft touch from Gordon Brown laid the ball on a plate for the main mountain Sapha.
An eternity seemed to elapse in the space of a second. The dwarves had invisibly drifted on the pitch to wind that mechanism with its frightening potential. Click went the release, the cogs
whirred into action, slowly the behemoth began to show its true face. The leg fell, tears fell, the ball rocketed past the keeper and into the net, football had committed suicide, killing itself with its most beautiful element. But no matter the fifths were on their way to the cup semi final, if promotion is the Holy Grail then the cup is the Lost Ark.
So a verdict of innocence has been passed. The fifth's remain unbeaten in this new year, four games from promotion, a mere two from cup glory. The end is in sight, just one more push and our seat in the hall reserved for those elite few will be guaranteed, albeit a large one to accommodate Birrell, Sapha, Greenall and Bickerton, the rest of us will just have to make do I guess. Unlike the Hilary Campaign the fifths are all substance and no bravado. No matter how the season finishes this is a team of winners. And that fact, much like the life and soul of football, can never be taken from us.
Hockey
Seconds Not Second Best For A Change
Jail-bate I Geordie and Harris
LSE2nds	4
Imperial Medics	1
Something special happened on Wednesday. Something that hasn't happened in a very, VERY long time. The LSE Men's Hockey Seconds won a match.
With Jasper out for the day and Dan having to umpire, Andy manned up and took on the role of captain, bus coordinator and public speaker all in one. Thrifty Harris straight away stamped his authority, making the team take the Number 44 bus as opposed to the train for the short journey to Fortress Battersea. A move that caused mass confusion amongst these sheltered and change-fearing little-uns, with Hemal not understanding why we could-
n't just take the more frequent No. 11 four times?!
Tactical nous from Andy "I'm better than Capello" Harris saw the team take on a 3-4-3 formation (yeah, sorry Raul I'm taking the credit for that) and an inspirational pre-match talk with such motivational nuggets as "we were trained to do this. We were bred to do this. We were born to do this!" and "our greatest glory consist not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall" the team started the game pumped and hungry for a win.
From the off LSE dominated. The wingers stopped the wannabe quacks using the width of the pitch, the attackers put constant pressure on their defence, and our defence remained solid and strong, giving Hemal little to worry about between the sticks. LSE were controlling the game with a fluid formation and smooth passing and made it count when Gautam scored two cheeky little flicks in quick
succession and Raul "king of the reverse stick" Shah-Medina got on the score sheet, meaning we entered the break 3-0 up.
Having been in front by three at half time and thrown it all away in a previous match, we all knew how important it was to keep our composure, but like stale snakebite at Crush, victory was in the air.
"No slacking" was the call from LSE, and the second period saw Azan and Nikul contin-
ue to be reliable at the back with Geordie and Ellis flowing down the left as one. Raul continued to be the creative dynamo in centre mid, Jeff was like a beacon of light at 16s always giving the hitter an option, and new boy Jann had a great debut. Missing one open goal is unlucky. Missing two is a bit silly. Missing three is just down right improbable, but never one to shy away from a challenge, goal-phobic
Priyesh showed that anything (or rather nothing) is possible when he's on the ball! We did however make the pressure count with some shots in the box and Gautam was on hand to put in the net for his hat-trick. Although they pulled one back, it was never more than a consolation and LSE continued to dominate, seeing the game out to a well deserved victory.
After being the victors on
the pitch, total victory was ensured in the drinking department, with a quick game of that number after 20 which saw many of the medics (with a little help from an Andy instigated rule) profess that 'LSE are better at hockey than Imperial. Fact'. After giving Dan more backchat on the pitch than Steph gives him in the bedroom, Shaz was awarded Dick-of-the-Day and showed that like his rugby-playing counterpart, these Habs boys just can't hold their drink.
The medics then tried (and failed) to teach us a game where you either had to 'ping' or you had to 'pong' but defi- ¦ nitely not show your teeth (???) and then the most over-complicated game I have ever heard of in my life with about a thousand mathematical rules. I had to drink shed-loads in that one and still don't know what the fuck a prime number is....
The Future of the AU's in your hands! | WANT YOU
I
t's that time again when all AU Exec positions are up for elections!
To persuade you all to run, our current President Mr Holness tells us it will get you more sex.
"I was slightly worried that being on the AU Exec would prove a lot more work than it was worth. It's turned out to be the best decision I've made since I chose home-cooking over that kebab house last night. Sitting in our Exec huddles, formulating courses of action to make events and the general AU better proved much more fun than going to
lectures, ahem! Seeing the product of your collective creativity through a haze of snakebite is incredibly rewarding. If anything, do it for the popularity. It will go through the roof and you will get laid daily. You will meet so many more people, with new friendships just waiting round the comer..."
But in case you are wondering what exactly the communications officer is meant to be doing, and what club liaising actually is, here are the technical descriptions of the AU Exec positions!
President: Responsible for the
overall co-ordination of AU affairs, liaison with the school administration and the LSE SU administration, and external affairs.
Treasurer: Responsibility for all aspects of AU finance, ensuring the effective operations of all the clubs. Secretary: Responsible for the administration of all internal Union affairs and taking minutes at meetings.
Events Officer: Responsible for the organization of all AU parties and the Colours ceremony.
Communications Officer:
Responsible for liaising with the Beaver and Pulse regarding the promotion of sports
reporting.
Clubs Liaisons Officer:
Responsible for ensuring effective operation of Clubs and acting as a go between for clubs and the exec.
Week 7 Wednesday is the date set for the AU Hustings.
Stand up, say your spiel on why you should be part of the next AU Exec and then brave the barrage of questions from the audience.... Fancy dress is necessary.
Nominations are now open! For those that want to carry forward this great institution forward please email d.m.hol-ness@lse.ac.uk.
rvD. ARMY
ENLIST NOW
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You Betcha! Beave Wins League, Again
Justin Guest
The LSE Men's Basketball Team took another historic step in their quest for a title defence. The defending Division II Champions, now playing in the first division, clinched the Southeastern League crown with a definitive 87-72 win against Surrey last week. "It's been a while since we've had an LSE team win any first tier league," said Athletic Director Jarlath O'Hara.
Following their subsequent 84-60 London Cup victory versus SOAS, the Beavers have won 10 of 11 games this season, and 31 of their last 32 going back to last season. However, they have a challenging postseason ahead.
They face Royal Holloway in the semifinals of the University of London Cup, they will face the winners of the Western League and Midlands League for a spot in next year's British Premier League, and they will take on Brunei in the opening round of the national basketball championship tournament—all in the next three weeks.
"I wouldn't bet against us," said centre Lee "Chou Chou" Hoytt, whose notorious gambling issues have haunted his past and created trust issues with teammates.
In an earlier incident, sev-
eral players confronted Chou after seeing him enter Ladbrokes before a January game. Asked if he placed money on their underdog opposition to then "take a dive" and reap the dividends of 20-to-l odds, Chou responded, "Nah, not this week." Still, the Beave will need to be ready for the physicality of the upcoming fixtures.
Perhaps in preparation for the rough play to come, or perhaps in his utter inebriation, wingman Chris Marcinkiewicz antagonized the London Capitals' mascot Larry the Lion at a recent home match (See photos). From the stands, Marcinkiewicz—a Canadian— made obscene gestures toward the feline supporter, remarking, "Tough guy, eh? Well, I think you're just a pussy eh!"
"It was totally uncalled for," Larry growled afterward, licking his wounds. "I mean, he comes in here pissed and started twisting my mane. I think I handled it maturely. Back in the Serengeti, he'd be vulture feed by now. Whatever."
Forward	Michael
McMahon is being investigated for his role in the incident. In the interim, he has lost custody of teammate Nick Broadway, who police authorities have placed back into foster care.
Fellow basketballers have reacted. "Nuh uh, that's fucked up too," power forward David Shutleworth said. "That's his baby daddy you talkin' bout. You caint split that shit up. If that was me, I'd come at them
pigs wid a fo-finger ring. Thass how we do!"
Shuttleworth has managed to keep his distance from the team's extracurricular activity—particularly Chou's betting habits.
On the other hand, point guard Giannis Psyhogiopoulos was forced to miss two January training sessions in order to "get my mah-nee" from his Greek bank accounts in order to pay off a debt to Chou.
And just last week, Chou won 30 pounds, after wagering that wingman Mike Kessenich couldn't fit teammate Alex Rosner into his pelican-sized mouth. "I thought I had him there for a second there," Kessenich said afterward. "But Rosner's ego kept poking out." In his only major loss, Chou coughed up a tenner to teammate Padraig Foran, when Foran—who has little else to do with his inordinate amount of free time—correctly predicted the amount of times Steve Nash licks his hands in a single game. Forward Steve Smith has kept a close budget of Chou's spoils to date.
"According to my Excel spreadsheet, Chou has won a total of £2,847.32 this season," he said. "That is, if you don't include the 73 pence he sort of shorted me last time we grabbed dinner together. And if you don't count the time Dave paid his bus fare in October. Every penny counts!"
Fresher Andreas Ferstad has been trying to iron out any resulting wrinkles in the
Chou savours the sweet taste of victory
team's chemistry. "C'mon guys, gosh!" he exhorted, with a fist swing, after the team's Monday training session. "Golly gee. We're a family, darn it! And jeepers, we've gotta stick together." Several players were taken ill after the extraordinarily inoffensive outburst.
Italian	second-year
Giovanni Graglia has stayed above the fray, however: "Questa squadra di basket e
veramente scarsa e una perdita di tempo. lo gioco solamente per rimanere nella figura. A volte mi chiedo; 'che cazzo fac-cio io?"' Which translates to, "Yeah, things are going swell."
To catch LSE's flagship sports team in action, email Captains Justin Gest (j.gest@lse.ac.uk) and Nick Broadway (n.m.broadway@lse.ac.uk) for
details of upcoming matches.
You would get the opportunity to interact with the team's usual supporters: a trio of Rastafarian weightlifters, the homeless gentleman from Electric Avenue, the guy downstairs who sells cleaning fluid, and a collection of Brixton streetwalkers who call themselves "Gonorrhoea Guaranteed."




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"I mean he comes in here pissed and started twistmg my mane

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