CONSERVATIVEPEEB, ADEXEC,&LSEALUM INTERVIEIirpn INDIA&ISLAM AWARENESS WEEK COVERAGEOFEVENTS FROMAROUNDLSEppO? o O 16 page cultural pullout The Beaver 17 February 2009 Newspaper of the London School of Economics Students' Union thebeaveronline.co.uk Director: penalty paid for school expansion strategy Growth in student numbers to be halted Student disquiet over 'impersonal' LSE Joseph Cotterill LSE will halt the growth in student numbers of recent years to repair the quality of life on campus, the school's director Howard Davies announced at his termly address to the Students' Union General Meeting last Thursday. Davies told an audience of students in the Old Theatre that expansion of the LSE student population would be "paused for the foreseeable fiiture". The school had "paid some penally" for its rapid growth, he said. LSE's current population of nine thousand students is two and a half times Howard Davies said that LSE would refocus on teaching quality the size of the school in 1980. The student populations of Oxford and Cambridge expanded by fifty per cent in the same period. Davies' armouncement came days before news that a record 465,000 people have applied for degree courses in UK universities starting in September. The applications service Ucas said applications had risen 7.8 per cent on last year. Interest in economics degrees rose 15.7 per cent. Ucas officials said many applications had been made at the last minute in a bid to escape the impact of the recession on the jobs market. Competition for places will be especially fierce because the government is expected to maintain its cap on the overall number of students in UK universities. Davies said that the school's move to halt growth had been motivated by concerns about the qualify of teaching. "The school does risk becoming more impersonal as a place," he said. Davies later faced accusations from students that Staff were too distant from students and that the school's "fiindaihen-tal direction" had gone awry. Amar Shanghavi, a postgraduate student, said that school staff had failed to treat concerns about a spate of crime and mugging outside the Sidney Webb hall of residence sufficiently seriously. Staff had not been helpful in a recent meeting, Shanghavi added. "The attitude of staff to making us feel safe is lacking," he said. Shanghavi drew the loudest applause of the meeting after fiirther alleging that staff at the Fourth Floor restaurant in the Old Building were sometimes rude in asking students who brought their own food into the restaurant to leave. The director said he would feed back to staff on the handling of security concerns >> Continued on page 6 The LSE library will begin opening twenty-foul" hours a day from the end of February, a month earlier than planned, Howard Davies announced at Thursday's UGM. Beaver archive Disagreement over Old Theatre occupation final agreement AliMoussavi Students who occupied the Old Theatre for a week in January in protest against the Gaza war remained in disagreement with the LSE last week on the final implementation of the demands of the occupation. It is understood that School officials are concerned that substantive new points were being raised by the protesters beyond the original agreement. An occupation representative complained, ten days after llie original implementation statement ending the occupation was released, that the document was "significantly different" to what had been agreed. Pro-Palestinian activists handed out leaflets on Houghton Street last week which read: 'our demands, agreed but not implemented.' The protesters said that the School had not extended a waiver of LSE application fees for students from the occupied territories to the Golan Heights, where many Palestinians study. "We are pleased that the School appears to be working to implement the agreement. We are still working with the School to ensure that the fee waiver covers students from the Golan Heights, as per the spirit of the agreement," a spokesperson from the Students' Union Palestine Society told the Beaver. The protesters said they were concerned that the fees waiver ended in 2010, and not until the end of the Israeli occupation as a whole. "While we appreciate the School's desire to get it right, we believed that the spirit of the agreement was that these activities would continue for as long as Palestine is occupied,", the spokesperson added. It is also understood that School officials have disputed occupier demands to promote last Thursday's fiindraisirig day for Medical Aid for Palestinians inside classrooms and lectures, as it was not part of the originalimplementation agreement. The spokesperson said; "It was disappointing that the LSE did not allow us to fiindraise inside lecture theatres or ask staff to make annoimcements. We had thought that they had agreed to help the fundraising day in this way." Union Jack UGM sketch Jack is the Beaver's anonymoiu mole at the Union General Meeting, every Thursd^ at ipm From cra^to boring." How unkind! How undignified! How unlike LSE students; like the one overheard making this comment at last week's UGM, to besmirch our director! Oh wait. Jack remembers. The last time Howard Davies presented himself to the Union's invariably inquorate and irrelevant get-together, LSE students machine-gunned the grin off his face in a volley of uncomfortable questions. V^ere was LSE's nursery going? Why did LSE athletes get so many classes scheduled on Wednesday afternoons? Why the hell was the New Academic Building so empty? Jack ha'd seen the coming of age of the licentious, litigious, post-tuition fee student body that wanted its money's worth and was prepared to trample all over Howard Davies to get it. And Jack was proud. But Howard hadn't been proud, back then. Howard had gone round the twist. Howard had said most of the students in the meeting were loss-making to the school Not the best way to win friends and influence fee-payers, if you ask Jack. Not great timing either. Beaver editors helpfully reminded those loss-making students that their parents had recently been sent Annual Fund begging letters to pop their loss-making cash in. Crazy? Not half. This term's meeting - well, things were a littie different. It was a different world. Howard had recentiy been on holiday to the World Economic Fubar in Davos. Nasty BBC anchormen had started asking him why he had started the credit crunch. Howard was a changed, sombre man, a new homo economicus for recessionary times. And also rather boring. Jack couldn't quite believe his ears as he listened to Davos Davies' dulcet decon-struction of why LSE econ geeks wouldn't be getting their hands on pinstripe and Perrier-Jouet in the fat cat jobs of their dreams.'Cra^ ol' Howard was talking -choke - boring ol' sense as LSE's prim and precious student community were told to check their own crazy career ambitions at the door. Well, Howard actually told everyone to look on the careers service database. But it is much the same to the crazed Goldman-chasers. And Jack was a little miffed at the-choke - absolute drivel that passed for questioning from the supposedly fearless audience. Where are our free hole-punch-ers, students mewled. WiUyou go to bed with me, another oleaginated. Call this getting tough? Howard presides a regime where only 0.9 per cent of governors come from an ethnic minority. Not a whisper came from our brave bevy of Students' Union election candidates as Howard slinked out Ihe door, his half-hour at the UGM freakshow up. That's t^y crazy. The Beaver is printed on 100% r recycled paper. In ' 2006, reiycled paper made up 79% of UK ^newspaper raw materials. Please recycle your copy Sports Editors Sam Tempest Keeping Alice Pelton sports@thebeaveironline.co.iik PartB Editors Julian Boys SachinPatel partb<|)thebeaveroiiline.co.iik Design Editor Mike Carlson design@thebeavieronline.co,uk Photo Editor Cherie Leung photo@thebeaTCroMline.co.ttk .General Manager San|ivNanwam iMfo(a)thebeavei'online.co.uk Web Editor Srikanth Narayanamohan web@thebeavewjnline.co.uk 2 The Beaver 117 February 2009 Collective Raidev Akoi; Emmanuel Akpan-Inwang; Hasib Baber; Fadhil Bakeer-Markar; Vishal Banerjee; Wil Barber; Peter Barton; Ramsqr Ben-Achour; Graeme Birrel; Julian Boys; James Bull; Mike Carlson; Jess Cartwright; Beth Chenyman; Elizabeth Cheesbrough; Angela Chow; Joseph Cotterill; Jonathan Damsgaard; Elle Dodd; Cathy Druce; Marie I>unaw:Qr;Holli Eastman; Louisa Evans; O^e Fikret; Aled Dihyyn Fisher; Charlotte Galvin; Justin Gest; Erica Gomall; Lucie Goulet; Aula Hariri; Visum Heneghon; Charlie Hodgson; Tdiiya Islam; Felipe Jacome; Daniel Jason; Lois Jeaiy; Megan Jones; Yisum Heneghon; Naeem Kapadia; Pooja Kesavan; Sadia Kidwai; Marion Koob; Helen Roberts; Phyllis Lui; Zeeshan Malik; ^nzar Manek; Nada Man^; Sophie Marment; Jamie Mason; IVent Maynard; James McGibncy; Liam McLaughlin; Nitya Menon; Irfim Merali; Anna Mikeda; Ravi Mistiy; Ali Moussavi; Deotima Mukherjee; Utsa Mukherjee; Aditi Nangia; Rachael O'Rourke; Aba Osunsade; Anup Patel; Rajan Patel; Sachin Patel; Will Peny; Chloe Pieters; Danielle PriestlQr; Rahim Rahemtulla; Dominic Rampat; Anjali Raval; Helen Reev^; Ricl^ Ren; Joe Ren-nison; Sacha Robehmed; Joe Sammut; Charlie Samuda; Thienthai Sangkhaphanthanon; Amri-ta Saraogi; Christina Schiindt Zur Nedden; Dan Sheldon; Andre litrtar; S^ Tempest-Kraping; Kerry Thompson; MeiyemTorun; Molly Tucker; Vladimir Unkovski-Korica; Subash Viroomal; Simon Wang; Jonathan Weir; Chris Westgarth; Sean Whittington Roy; Christine Whyte; Chris Wilkins; Chun Han Wong; Calum Young The Collective is The Beaver's governing bocty. You must have three articles or photos published in the paper to qualify for membership. If you believe you are a Collective member butyour name is not on the list above, please email Collective Chair Lucie Goulet collective(S)thebeawronline.co.«lc Editorial Board Executive Editor Joseph Cotterill editor(|)tbebeaveronliMe.co.uk Managing Editor Chun Han Wong managing@thebeaveroMline.co.wk NewsEditors Ali Moussavi Zeeshan Malik Joe Remtdson neMi«(a)thebeaveronline.co.uk Comment Editor Sean Whittington Roy comment@thebcaveronHne.co.uk Features Editor Shibani Mahtani fe3tures@thebeaveronline.co.uk Social Editor Madeeha Ansari 80cial@thebeaveronline.co.uk The Beaver would like to thank the LSE students who contributed to this issue. The Beaver is published by the London School of Economics' Students' Union, East Building, Houghton Street, WC2A 2AE. Printed at Guardian Print Centre, Rick Roberts Way, Stratford, London E152GN. The Beaver uses pictures from flickr.com which have been issued under a Creative Commons license. We would like to distribute the Beaver under a similar license - we'll keep you posted. You can browse through the pictures we post to flickr at: flickr.com/photos/beaveronline. Contact the Beaver info@thebeaveronline .co.uk 02079556705 LSE events HigMights of this week's public lectures and talks "Russian Railways" as the locomotive of the Russian Economy Russian Railwt^s president Vladimir I. Yakunin Today, OT, 1500 (Ticketed) The Global Economic Crisis - Meeting the Challenge Professor Tim Besley, Professor Francesco Caselli, Professor Chris Pissaifides, Professor Danny Qjaah Tonight, OT, 1830 Can International Law Change the World? Professor Christopher Greenwood Wednesday, Venue TBC, 1830 (Ticketed) Putin and Medvedev: Russia's Duumvirate? Nikolai Petrov Wednesday, SZT, 1800 Lessons from the credit crisis Deputy Governor of the Baidc of Engfamd Sir John Gieve Tliursday, SZT, 1700 Individual and Corporate Social Responsibility Professor Jean Tirole Thursday, OT, 1830 East Building LSE Students' Union London WC2A 2AE Positions oftheweek LSE careers service's pick of the best jobs: United Nations World Food Programme Internships at London Office ConocoPhilips CommercialfradMat^! development; ;¦ programme in international, ' ~ integrated energy Capgemini Aspire graduate programme ' ¦' f The Mercator Fund ' Tax Law Project Consultant, Fleishman-Hillard Account Executive in Public ^^EBiirs' Mandate Conmiunications Consultant, Graduate Fast "ftack ¦ : ¦ Programme > ; PricewaterhouseCoopers Government and Public Sector ' Practice consulting opportuniti^ ¦ ¦ Detica Graduate Technology/Busiisess 1 Consultant, in a fast growing specialist business and technology,,,:. consultancy. British Asian IVust Manager Build links with the Pakistani community in the UK and organisations in Pakistan that can be supported by the fund Partners for Euro-Afiican Green Energy (PANGEA) Internship - expand database of bio-fuel projects in Africa, expand the list of potential members, compile draft and existing biofuel policies from African countries IBM Various IT consulting and finance positions Computer Science Corporation Graduate opportunities in consulting, MR, finance Lexis Public Relations PR Graduate trainee - large, full service agency which still thinlcs and acts like a small, cutting-edge boutique E.On Graduate opportunities in finance, HR... with one of the UK'sleading integrated power pid gas companies BNPParibas Strategic marketing assistant and translation assistant internships in Paris Nomura Internship opportunities - summer analysts, summer sssociates, all over Asia Standard and Poor's Research Intern, Sovereign Ratings Oxera Internships - Full time Interested? For details of these posts and over three hundred more, log in to My Careers Service and click on 'search for opportunities' at www.lse.ac.uk/careers Cybemetically enhanced Beaver. The Beaver's digital revolution continues. Now on twitter! twitter.com/beaveronline Let us know where to go next: info@thebeaveronline.co.uk The Beaver thebeaveronline.co.uk News 17 February 2009 | The Beaver Donations roll in for Palestine charily # T- FOR PALESXlMi^j^^ t-y .. ¦rf'* m±-\r Union General Secretary encouraging donations to MAP at the UGM. Photo: Ben Phillips James McGibney Over £1,600 was raised during Friday's Fundraising Day for the charity Medical Aid for Palestinians. Ninety volunteers collected money across the campus for the charity, which aims to provide health care to Palestinians and establish a permanent medical infta-structure in Palestinian communities. The flindraising effort was jointly organised by the Palestine Society, RAG, the Student Union and the School itself. The LSE had agreed to co-sponsor the event in response to one of the demands of the Palestine Society's occupation of the Old Theatre last month. One fiindraiser on Houghton Street, Meryem Torun, said, "The reaction has been overwhelmingly positive and it's great that we can all come together to do this. Several people gave over £20 each. The cause has been seen as legitimate because its aim is charitable, not political -people are suffering and they need help." The money collected was enough to cover the cost of psychological and social support for ten children in Gaza, and to buy 80 hygiene kits for displaced Gazan families. A spokesman from MAP was delighted with the proceeds: "Efforts like those taken by LSE's students show that people are rejecting apathy and acceptance of the banality of evil and speaking out to show their support...Money raised by these events has gone directly to MAP's emergency response helping thousands of women, the elderly, people with disabilities and children." A spokesperson for the school said: "Early indications are that the collections were well-organised and successfld and it is good to know that staff and students at LSE have combined to bring aid to some of the people in the world who need it most." However, the School has been criticised for preventing fundraisers from collecting in lecture theatres and for interfering in the promotion of the event. In an email sent by ' LSE's Secretary & Director of Administration, Adrian Hall, staff were told that "permission to make collections inside lectures and classes has been refused". He went on to advise that "those taking lectures and classes are not expected to make any kind of announcement about the Fundraising Day". Palestine Society sponsorship secretary Mira Hammad, who led the organisation of the day, said, "I thought the agreement was that we could collect in lecture theatres - and they banned us". She added: "We hoped that lecturers would advertise the event, but we hadn't even contacted staff when they sent the . emaU". When asked about their intervention. "Although you may have some people who automatically assume a political subtext, the charity in question is frankly^ a brilliant one who have been providing criicial support in and around Gaza for almost twenty years." RAG President Ben Jones a spokesman from the School said, "It was not possible to hold the collections inside lectures because we did not want to risk any possible disruption to teaching. For the same reason, there was no obligation on teachers and lecturers to mention the collections at the start of lectures". Staff in the Three Tuns pub refused to put a collection bucket on the bar in order to "remain impartial", whilst Students' Union Communications Officer Dan Sheldon reportedly wouldn't wear a MAP bracelet because the issue was "too politicised". Some students objected for rather more partisan reasons. Whqn asked to donate, one shouted, "What, so you can fire more rockets at my country?" RAG President Ben Jones was undeterred by such reactions. "Although you may have some people who automatically assume a political subtext, the charity in question is frankly a brilliant one who have been providing crucial support in and around Gaza for almost twenty years. The majority of the student body has reacted thoughtfldly and generously to this day and congratulations are owed to the organisers and collectors". ¦ Many from outside the Palestine Society also helped raised money. One charity collector, Felix Lee, a third-year Human Resource Management and Emplo3rment Relations student, got involved when he saw the event advertised on Facebook: "The war is a game between politicians -the civilians are innocent. I felt sony for the people of Gaza and decided to help out". / Anti-CCTV poster appears at LSE Residence Hall Posters have appeared in Butler's Wharf Hall which criticise the presence of CCTV cameras and surveillance on the LSE campus. The source of the posters is still unclear. The images also include an image of Howard Davies with the slogan 'Big Brother is watchingyou'from the George Orwell noveri^84. 4 The Beaver 117 Februaiy 2009 News Any questions? Contact su.returningofficer@lse.ac.uk www.isesu.com Positions General Secretary, Treasurer, Communications, Education & Welfare, Womens, Environment and Ethics, LGBT, International, Societies, , Anti-Racism, Mature & Part-Time, Students with Disabilities, Residences, Returning Officer, Constitution and Steering Committee (7 positions). Finance and Services Committee (4 positions). \ - /• Nominations Open 10AM Monday 16th February Close 5PM Monday 23rd February . Voting Opens 10AM Wednesday 4th March Closes 6.30PM Thursday 5th March 1 iitiiin n I News 17 February 2009 | The Beaver Union election season nears afteir Friends on third time lucky for internet reform JoeRennison Greater freedom to report on Students' Union elections has been granted to the Union's media group after an electoral reform motion passed at last week's Union General Meeting. Similar attempts to pass an amendment to the Union's codes of practice on elections had been opposed for two consecutive weeks after opposition to proposals to liberalise campaigning on the internet and websites. The internet proposals were dropped last week as supporters of the motion concentrated on pushing through the reforms for the media group days before election season began on campus. Nominations for candidacy in the elec- tions opened yesterday. The motion was relaunched after the Union's returning officer Ossie Fikret -who oversees elections - held a series of meetings with opponents to refirame the proposals. James Bacon, a former returning officer who announced his candidacy for General Secretary last week, proposed the amended codes of practice amendment . unopposed. He said: "Due to the short time we had to pass these reforms we had to make sure they would get through the UGM and thus dropped all controversial aspects to ensure our amendment would pass." Bacon said that "strong opposition firom a few voices" forced the reformers to "capitulate to their demands." Bacon continued: "This reform will mean a clarification of all electoral rules. For the first time in five years we've actually restructured the codes of practice hopefUly making an easier read than previously. Vladimir Unkovski-Korica, who opposed the motion when it ran previously, said: "Popular opinion has blocked the adoption of the worst aspects of online campaigning. The ease with which suggestions of a union-run website that would provide extra election materials from candidates was dismissed, however, does make you wonder if someone as a vested interest in obviating existing rules that ensure equality of opportunity for all those standing." A second codes of practice amendment passed at Ae UGM allowing Facebook only to be used in election campaigns, o long as it is not used to send "unsolicited emaUs" - which refers to emails sent from people who are not part of the group or event that is sending the email on. Peter Barton, who proposed the amendment, said: "this is just a small change to bring codes of practice up to date with reality and help move the Union into the twenty-first century." Bacon said that "We should not be putting into the codes of practice a named social utility but we did so because we were forced into that position." He continued: "I think it is a good thing because it wiU enable far more people to be aware of student politics and who is standing in the elections. In the longer term I feel embedding Facebook into our codes of practice is the wrong move and hopefully next year we can get round to producing a broader website provision with regard to election campaigning." facebook A How many friends do the declared candidates for Students'Union sabbatical office have in the LSE network? The Beaver collates their LSE friend counts General Secretary Aled Fisher 605 James Bacon 345 Treasurer Joseph Brown 372 George Wetz 292 Education and Welfare Emmanuel Akpan-Inwang 576 Helen Roberts 570 Sadia Kidwai 194 Ruby Buckley 146 Communications Dan Sheldon 593 Rob Low 289 Michael Deas 234 I Nominations are open. Candidates are declaring. The Media Group is watching. Get involved in the biggest Media Group event of the year, as the Beaver, Pidse and LooSE TV cover the Students' Union Lent term elections. Thisyear we'll be forging ahead into the world of new media further than ever before, with twittering, blog posting and broadcasting. ¦ fifisiisui TWiTTIi.iiMIY0Ti$UII9 The Beaver 117 Februaiy 2009. News LSE Public Lectures and Events A Good Childhood: Searching for Values in a Competitive Age Professor Lord Richard Layard, director of the Well-being Programme in the LSE Centre for Economic Performance, presented a report of the Good Childhood enquiry at a public lecture last Wednesday. The presentation cited love to be, on average, the most important thing to a child and arguments to be the worst. The presentation also spoke of the destructive effects of parental seperation, alcohol abuse and individualism on a child and that our view? towrards such things must be altered for the well-being of our children. To buy the Good Childhood report visit: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Childhood-Searching-Values-Competi-tive/dp/0i4i039434/ref=sr_i_5?ie=UTF8 &s=books&qid=i228393633&sr=l-5 aMap causes debate A new online debate forum, aMap, has been developed by the New Economics Foundation, LSE and online consultation experts Delib. The forum allows users to begin a topic of "debate that can be commented on and added to by any other user across the globe. After three days 50,000 people visited the aMap website creating arguments in 120 countries around in the world. To start your own arguement visit:http:// www.amap.org.uk/ 2008 Lakatos Award Winner Richard Healey, from the University of Arizona, has been awarded the 2008 Lakatos award for his contribution to the Philosophy of Science. Healey's book. Gauging What's Real: the conceptual foundations of contemporary gauge theories, has received critical acclaim and eamt him the 10,000 LSE award. Healey will visit the LSE in the Summer term to collect the award and present a public lecture. Healey told the Beaver: "Receiving this award is an unexpected honour. Work in my branch of the philosophy of science can get lonely, so it is especially gratifying when its significance is recognized aiid acknowledged within a wider intellectual community. I welcome my fifteen minutes of fame in the hope that the attention-it focuses briefly on contemporary physics will encourage others to venture beyond narrow disciplinary boundaries to explore the regions of natural philosophy it has opened up for us." Indian culture on campus Marie Dunaway India week offered a range of activities across campus last week, as the five-day celebration enters its fourth year. This year's colourful event was organised by the Society for Promotion of Indian Culture and Ethos (SPICE) and the Hindu Society, as well as other societies on campus. The week involved over 1,000 students. International Officer of the Students Union Ajoishman Sen said: "India Week 2009 included a diverse range of events, managing to capture the essence of India and bring it all the way here on campus. Like every year, the highlight was undoubtedly 'Bollywood Crush' which was the perfect way to end the week's worth.of activities. Well done to everybody on the India Week 2009 taskforce!" One attendee said, "I had a great time at Bolljfwood Crush. We got to dance to something that wasn't pop music!" The week included a variety of cultural activities including Bollywood dance classes. Sari tying and Mehendi decorating and Hindi and Tamil classes. Talks also took place on the "Sino-Indian Interface and the Road ahead" and "The State of the Indian Tiger Economy." Tuesday night saw an Indian Food Festival held in conjunction with the LSESU Food Appreciation Society. After there was "Lamhe" - an Indian Musical Evening and Antakshari, where tiiere was live music and dance. The week culminated with a Retro Bollywood Crush including music and dance from 1949 to tiie present. m I I i Pro-life stall maizes tumultous campus return Pl^llisLui A controversial pro-life group returned to Houghton Street last Thursday two weeks after provoking outrage and debate on campus. Created4Life, an organisation set up to "encourage women and men not to choose abortion" set up a stall on Houghton street for the second time. The organisers said they had been scheduled to come back. Education and Welfare officer Emmanuel Akpan-Inwang once again engaged in a heated discussion with Created4Life Director Alan Thome. Speaking to Thome, Akpan Inwang said: "I don't want you coming back to LSE and offending students." A female student who also took part in the discussion said that she found the material offensive and that she felt distressed by it. Thome had written on his organisation's blog earlier in the week that Akpan-Inwang had issued an invitation for a debate on this issue and after a meeting with a Students' Union Executive was disinvited. Akpan-Inwang said that he had not invited Thome but had said that he would get back to him after discussing it with the Executive. The Executive decided that they "did not want discussion with the organisation because of the literature" Akpan-Inwang said. Akpan-Inwang said Thome had misrepresented information about abortion. He added that it would be logical to ' derive from their literature that people who choose abortion are Nazis since abortions are referred to as "Britain's Holocaust". "I don't want you coming back to LSE and offending students" Emmanual Akpan-Inwang Education and Welfare officer Asked whether it would be infiringing on freedom of speech- by not inviting Thorne to the debate due to the possibility of offending students, Akpan-Inwang said he did not believe so. Thorne declined to comment. LSE director Howard Davies was questioned at the UGM later on Thursday about whether it woidd be possible to deny pro-life organisations the right to set up stalls on Houghton Street. Davies said it would not be possible due to the street in question being a public highway under the jurisdiction of Westminster City Council. Howard Davies: LSE has paid some penalty for growth » Continued from page 1 at Sidney Webb, and that the Fourth Floor restaurant became very busy at lunch-times. 'LSE Not for Profit' campaigners also continued their attack on Ae alleged 'pro-business' orientation of the director, a former head of the Finance Services Authority, at the meeting. Spokesperson Michael Deas asked Davies to respond to claims that LSE had lost its social direction, and said that 450 staff and students had signed a petition to him on the issue. Davies said that he had already addressed the activists' concerns in a Beaver comment piece. The school would not agree to the campaign's demand for students to be represented on LSE's unofficial development committee, he added. Representation would prove "not particularly helpful" to the committee's mission of oversight on donations and development of the LSE campus, Davies said. Davies added that students could already make decisions on the school's sources of fiinding through LSE's council. Deas told the Beaver that he did not believe it was actually clear that council approved the school's fimding and pointed to the example of the Sheikh Zayed Theatre in the New Academic Building. "The theatre was approved by the development committee, but not approved by council," he said. The opening of the theatre last term provoked controversy because of the human rights record of Sheikh Zayed, the late ruler of the United Arab Emirates. Davies told the Beaver at the time that no member of council had objected to the naming of the theatre during two years of planning. Earlier in his speech Davies commented on the current global recession's impact on the school and students. Davies said LSE was in "a good financial position" to ride out the recession, and the school remained able to support extra spending such as increased hours at the library. FuU twenty-four hour opening will be introduced at the end of Febmary, a month earlier than planned. Davies added that LSE was the only institution in the elite Russell Group of UK universities to have increased the size of its careers service in the wake of the recession. This year's LSE graduates face the disappearance of traditional job destinations in the City, with the recessionary eclipse of investment banks and hedge fiinds. The LSE careers service has advised economics students to seek out positions in boutique firms, insurance, and finance in industry among other sectors traditionally overlooked by LSE graduates. "We need to work harder to find the opportunities you want," Davies said. There were as many jobs on the LSE careers database as there were last year, he added, as recruiters firom nontraditional sectors filled the gaps left by banks. News 17 February 2009 | The Beaver Aweekto Discover Islam AliMoussavi - 'P mfmu Sss I Last week, the Students' Union Islamic Society held their annual Discover Islam Week. The Islamic Society, supported by the Students' Union held two lectures with discussions, and two cultural events. The cultural events were well-attended among non-Muslim students with 15 of 30 students attending a tour of Regents Park Mosque and a meal, in addition to Islamic calligraphy workshops on campus. One of the speakers which attended was Ajmal Masroor, the Liberal Democrat candidate for the Bethnal Green and Bow constituency at the next General Election. Masroor, who is also a qualified imam, and a prominent British Muslim in the media, gave an introductory address which outlined the basic principles and theological origins of Islam at the start of the awareness week. The organizers of the week had publicized the events through a Youtube promotional video and a stall on Houghton Street. The organizers also constructed a model Ka'aba for the stage of the Quad. The Ka'aba is the cube structure at the heart of Islam's holy city of Mecca. The organizers also planned a speech by Idris Tawfiq, a Roman Catholic priest who converted to Islam. Tawfiq tackled some of the more controversial issues revolving around contemporary Islam, such as women rights, terrorism and the application of Shariah Law. One of organizers of the week said: "Discover Islam Week is a week dedicated to inviting the entire LSE student population to learn more about this much-discussed religion- about it's teachings and it's history - and in doing so, we hope to strip away the misconceptions and stereotypes surrounding Islam." Low attendance at Your Union meeting JoeRennison LSE STUDENTS' Last Thursday a total of six people attended an open meeting designed to get student input on the direction the LSE Student Union should be taking. Your Union is a campaign being run by the SU which intends to get student views on changes that should be made to the SU, ideas for what the new SU building should include and anything else that students feel should be part of the SU but isn't. SU Treasurer WUl Barber said: "Attendance at today's meeting was low but vidth open meetings with societies, the media group and the Athletics Union already having been held this is perhaps not surprising. ¦ , "Also, with over 500 students having responded to our survey most people who wanted to contribute have already done so. These last two meetings were just to cap- ture those who have not yet been involved in any qualitative stage." Peter Barton, an LSE student who attended the meeting, said: "I feel there is a large section of LSE students that finds LSE a very isolating experience and hard to integrate into." He continued: "The need to make people aware of what the student union offers and ways in which in can reform is vital to people feeling part of it, and engaging with it. you can't care about somethingyou don't understand or know about." Barton suggested that, "a page of The Beaver could be used for this purpose, it would be a good way of letting people know of things that are going well, what the union does as well as things they may want to get involved in." Barber added: "The information we have received from these meetings has been extremely usefld, repeatedly highlighting the need for us to provide greater training opportunities for our members as well as a variety of ways to ensure the institutional memory of societies. "The research into the new building has highlighted the need to create more common space on campus and a multipurpose event space." Formore information: To fill out the Your Union survey and have your opinions heard visit: http:// changQrourunion.co.uk Higher Education & Research LSE and sector news Clements Inn Passage Closed LSE Estates division have alerted students to the fact that Clements Inn Passage will be closed for another week or so. The ¦ passage closed last week due to Morrisons Utility Firm carrying out maintenance work on behalf of Thames Water. Access to and from the Towers will be restricted, and at times closed, during this period. The school have apologised for any inconvenience which this may cause. Student Loans Company Respond To Bursary Complaints Last week the Beaver reported that students' bursary's are yet to appear in their bank accounts. The student loans company released this statement to The Beaver last week: "The Student Loans Company and the London School of Economics deeply regret any inconvenience encountered by students awaiting pa3rment of their bursary. Both SLC and LSE acted quickly when we became aware of a delay in payment and LSE have advised any students affected by the issue that they can obtain a short-term hardship loan to cover their expenses. We wiU both work together to ensure any affected student is paid as quickly as possible." LSE have said that the expected date of pajrment for Bursary's is the 18th February. LSE emergency loans can be obtained within one to two days or can be an open cheque and cashed the same day, despite comment printed last week in The Beaver suggesting otherwise. Pub Quiz in Aid of RAG Skydive Last Tuesday Sakine Koc and Fim Kryt held a pub quiz in the Tuns raising a total of £50 for a ^G skydive. On 21 February they, and ten others, will jump out of a plane in aid of Cancer Research UK. Around 30 people took part in the quiz which cost £1 per person. Donations were then made after the quiz on top of the entrance fee. Koc added: "Despite the fun in a pub quiz I'd say baking-and selling cakes in Houghton Street is a better method to raise money since you come across many more people and everyone likes cakes as opposed to pubs! During these sales we made about £100 a day." To donate to Sakine, visit: http://www.facebook.com/group. php?gid=43775054454&ref=share To donate to Roger Lewis, another Sliydiver, visit: http://www.justgiving. com/rogeroliverlewis None of the other s]Replies Direct Messages Favorites bbcworid Zimbabwe's central batik is at the heart of the nation's economic decay, new Finance Minister Tendai Biti says, http://tinyurl.com/df8fst 6 minutes agoft-gm tivitterfced bbcworid A marine census finds that at least 235 species live in both polar regions, despite being 12,000km apart http.7/ti nyurl.com/cjkrl9 6 minutes aaofrom tuuitt.erfeed Everyone bbcworid A British man held at Cuantanamo Bay - Bmyam Mohamed - is fit enough to return to the UK, the Foreign Office .. http;//tinyurl.com/cqnbgk 5 minutes ago from ixmltcrfeed Following tsuei the funniest thing about the website is the recall notice for their plush uteruses near the top of the front page abaut i hour ago from web SMffi tsuei is very, very amused by http://iheartguts.com about 1 mmr ago from web media_guardian ITV puts Friends Reunited website up for sale http;//tinyurl.com/awbwrs about 1 hour ago from twittevfeed Device Updates Set up SMS updates s_m_i i Appalled by lack of beach time. about 1 kaiir agofrtm web @ RSS feed s_mj i Delayed at VC Bird International. Not that I m in a hurry to get pack to sub-zero NY. about t hour ago from u?eo isuei stutters. about 1 hovr aqofrom web Sci-een captwe of the Beaver's IWitter account Photo: Mike Carlson Making the youth connections Katie Rose LaPotin ponders the utility and popularity of the online social network Twitter If there are images in this attachment, they will not be displayed. Download the original attachment. I'll admit, I'm quite a techie. I brought over my Blackberiy from the states, carjy my Macbook with me wherever I go, and even have a drawer in my nightstand completely designated to mains and adapters. I have used social networking sites in liie past, and I was one of the first people in my immediate group of friends to join Facebook over four years ago, when its membership was stiU restricted to users with a university email address. So when I decided to download Twitter (and, subsequently TwitterBeny for my ' Blackberry) three weeks ago, I spent quite a lot of time pondering the positive and negative aspects of the programme. Would it be worth my time, or is it just another Facebook wannabe? How different is this than Facebook and MySpace? Will it become as popular as those programmes in due course? You may be wondering as you read this email what Twitter exactly is. Twitter is essentially a continuous status update where users can post up to 140 characters regarding their emotions, announcements, diary posts, or whatever they would like. Other Twitter members need to become your Tollower' in order to read your posts (unless they're public), and you can send messages or replies to your chaps' messages as well. While 2008 was the year of Facebook as far as politics is concerned, 2009 is the year of Twitter. In the United States, for example, over fifty Republican members of Congress are Twitter users. Representatives have been known to Twitter during committee meetings and floor votes to connect with their constituencies. On the Democratic side, newly-elected President Barack Obama was one of the first major politicians to start using Twitter to connect with the tech-sawy youth voters of the United States. He is currently world's most subscribed member with over 260,000 followers, and plans on using the site as a way to coritinue a dialogue with voters throughout his presidency. Although the programme is most popular currently in the United States, international politicians and governments have also joined the micro-Hogging service. In the United Kingdom, for example, Westminster and 10 Downing Street both have official sites, as does David Cameron through the Conservative Party webpage. Unofficial pages do exist as well for other European leaders, such as French President Nicolas Sarko^ and German Chancellor Angela Merkel. Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is an active Twitter user; not only does he have a strong base of followers worldwide but also requests to follow his followers as a way of staying in touch. Yet it is not just politicians who are logging hours on Twitter today—Britney Spears is a constant figure on the website, and just this other weekend rumours floated around Hollywood of a possible engagement between actress Jennifer In the United States, over fifty Republican members of Congress are Twitter users Aniston and musician John Mayer after the latter left posts on his Twitter feed suggesting that he was ring shopping. And seven of the ten most followed members of the site aren't even celebs at all! This group of members includes Twitter itself, Mr Tweet—who gives suggestions to members on who they should follow, and micro-blogger Veronica. The rapid growth of the site has led to questioning about whether it is just another youth-centered social network. For example, both the Facebook events application and evite.com allow you to invite and manage your guest list, post event detaEs, and send out reminders. The only catch, of course, is that you have to have a valid Facebook account or email address. Yet it does not seem as if Twitter will follow the same path of its predecessors. Although it is currently more popular with a younger crowd, it did not start out as a social network for younger individuals, or restricted to current University students as Facebook did. Its features are much simpler—the member can only post tweets, direct messages, replies, or update their profile, settings, or followers list compared to the plethora of options Facebook offers. Breaking news can even be posted through Twitter, as CNN and Sky News, ¦ among others, post their leading stories when they are published on their websites. Thus, not only is Twitter becoming a cross between a social network and an RSS feed, it is actually the most fnendly site to technologically illiterate and older individuals. It also makes sense that Twitter would become a popular site to connect between politicians and their constituents. Voters can follow the actions of their representatives and even send them messages suggesting or commenting on their vote. The ease of using the site also makes it a better way of connecting than Facebook or MySpace. In the short time that Twitter has been a mainstream social network, several prominent members have had their pages hacked. An unknown party hacked into the accounts of President Obama, Britney Spears, and American cable news network Fox News programme host BiU O'Reilly, among others—in total, over 33 accounts. While this has since been corrected, it fiirthers the debate of where public and private domains begin and end on the web. This hacking incident did not cause major problems, but the risk of national security breaches is always a problem. Last month, a House representative from the state of Michigan, Peter Hoekstra, inadvertently breached security by sending a twitter message to followers saying, "Just landed in Baghdad" while on a secret delegation visit to Iraq. The Dalai Lama was also recently the subject of a Twitter controversy, as an account had been established with over 20,000 followers claiming to be his official site. The controversy behind Twitter will not be resolved in the near future. Yet it is only increasing in popularity, and unlike its predecessors, could be the solution to connecting the old with the young, and the celebrity with the relatively unknown. Features 15 The Beaver 117 February 2009 The slow descent of Social Darwimsm Louisa Clare Evans looks back at natural selection 150 years after The Origins of Species bis year marks the 150''' an-"niversaiy of the publication of Charles Darwin's 'On The Origin of Species', one of the 'most incendiary books of all time', as described by the National Geographic. Darwin himself didn't actually come up with the idea of evolution, but he did develop a theory for evolution that was so powerfU, it is still relevant and of importance for scientists today. He proposed the commonality of aU life - that all living things share a common ancestor and thus are inter-connected. However, die extent to which Darwin actually knew this to be true is limited, and much of his work was essentially enlightened guess-work. The specifics of his theory, that all of life evolves and develops through the processes of natural selection and sexual selection, did not triumph until 1940. The theory of natural selection became successfiUly integrated with genetics. In fact, it wasn't even Daijwin who first defined natural selection as 'the survival of the fittest' but a man firom Derbyshire, Herbert Smith. It was him who developed the theory of Social Darwinism: the belief that the strongest and fittest should flourish in society and conversely, the weak and unfit should be allowed to die. This view was widely accepted in the Victorian era when it seemed obvious that the richer and more powerful were better adapted to the social and economic pressures of the time. More than that, it seemed like the natural way of thinking at the time. However, with the remarkable strides made by modem medicine and the increasing persistence and survival of welfare states, the concept of Social Darwinism seems totally defunct. Take for example, the increasing awareness and diagnosis of allergies. In one of his stand-up routines, Alan Carr complained about the inconvenience of having to prepare meals when one or more of your friends have an allergy or intolerance. "It wasn't like this in the olden days", he said, "they would have just died". This is certainly true for those unfortunate to have an anaphylactic aUer^c reaction to something (the kind that can kill you can through asphyxiation). But, those of us with food intolerances demonstrate the fascinating evolution of human beings in relatively recent history. Approximately 8,000 years ago, a mutation cropped up that allowed humans to drink milk past childhood. This mutation occurred after cows, sheep and goats had been domesticated and those humans who could drink milk developed a nutritional advantage, allowing them to propagate their genes. This random adaption was so important, it occurred at least five times. Today more than 95 per cent of the population of Northern European descent carry the gene that allows them to digest lactose. However, thanks to technological advances, the remaining five per cent of the population who do not carry this gene can survive, using soya alternatives and even taking the enzyme required in tablet form before a meal. Human geneticist Noah Rosenberg explained that such advances have made. natural selection 'a much less potent force on us in the present than it was in the past'. Modem medicine is making sure that those who have a disadvanta:ge aren't being taken out of the mnning, suggesting that Social Darwinism has no place in the twenty-first century. Similarly, there have been amazing developments in the field of emergency medicine. Thousands ofyears ago, if you fell and broke your leg whilst out in search of your mid-moming snack, you would most probably have been left behind - it was just in your tribe's best interest. Nowadays, however, breaking a leg, whilst still dangerous and potentially life threatening, can be relatively easy to fix and allow you to live a fUl and economically beneficial life. The accident prone, while becoming more common, are being given a second chance. So if natural selection is the survival of the fittest, then sexual selection is the reproduction of the sexiest. As Matt Ridley explains, sexual selection 'has the delightful effect of generating weapons, oma-ments, songs, and colours, especi^y on male animals' Stags have antiers to fight one another to prove their dominance and thus 'win' the women, and male peacocks have bright colours to attract and charm their females. In fact, the peacock theory goes flirther. Because the most brightly coloured feathers were exhausting and dangerous things to grow, only the healthiest males could do it well and was thus an 'honest indicator of fitness' - meaning the females were drawn to their promise of survival. Females may also choose an 'omamental male' to follow fashion. If one female chooses a gorgeous male, other females must follow suit or risk having sons that do not attract females. This sounds surprisingly familiar: although it might be worth waiting until after the first few dates to mention progeny to a good-looking chap for fear of sending him mnning for the nearest tube station. To Victorians, when this theory was ; -first proposed, the thought of women, of : any species, choosing their mate rather than succumbing to the advances of the male was frankly shocking. And it is interesting that these omamental traits were given'fiinctions', as the idea of useless beauty was too disturbing to scientists who believed in the mthlessly practical workings of natural selection. This is particularly relevant to the case of the blondes. Blondes supposedly have more fiin and have higher libidos. They are stereotypicaUy more beautiful, but -they are also stereotypically stupid and mmour has it that natural blondes are an endangered species. Are these stereotypes necessarily true? Were Darwin and Spencer right? Would a blonde's useless beauty mean that her genes won't be propagated for the sake of human nature? Only time wiUteU. Now seems like a good time to bring up that age-old saying: "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". It would seem that this is something Spencer forgot to consider in his theory of the survival of the strongest and fittest. If, as the peacocks demonstrate, only the good looking people are mating then the expansion of the population really wouldn't be as drastic as it is. And, in the special case of the human race. Spencer seems to have forgotten as well that personality plays a role in reproduction. That and money. Thanks to these assets (and sometimes the odd sprinkling of alcohol), 'not-so-good-looldng' people too are reproducing. As are the poor -heaven forbid. The case for traditional Social Darwinism in Britain, that the poor and unfit should die, is becoming increasingly irrelevant. Despite its flaws, the National Health Service is providing medicinal support. People are living long into retirement and the number of births outweighs the number of deaths. However, this is saying nothing of Social Darwinism on an international society level where distortions in the distribution of resources demonstrate that relatively "poor and unfit" countries are in a way, left to die. Scientists still cannot agree on why sexual selection as a matter of preference occurs. Or where these preferences come from. It is no longer the case that only those capable of running for dinner or those who swing most appealingly firom trees are contributing to the human gene pool. Somewhere along our evolutionary timeline, it became advantageous for himians to develop larger brains. The very brains that allow us to choose our mate, decide what to.eat for dirmer and whether we want to die our hair blonde. Did it become imperative to be able to deceive and manipidate the competition? Robert Trivers has argued this might be why we developed a subconscious and a larger brain. But Matt Ridley beljieves it was much simpler than that. As our brains grew and allowed us to demonstrate our sparkling wit and humour, it became increasingly advantageous to mate with the more intelligent in the tribe. So toda/s high societal standards for . finding the perfect mate isn't an illusion created by the likes of Carrie Bradshaw. It was down to random genetic mutations that occurred thousands ofyears ago, perfected through the processes of natural and sexual selection. The life of an English naturalist, Chairles Dai^n 1831 1825 Sets forth on his most Begins studjdng medicine at famous journey aboard the the Univ. of Edinburgh HMS Beagle 1839 Publishes/oMma/o/jResearc/ies, 1871 later known as The Voyages of Publishes The Descent of the Beagle Man T 1809 Darwin born in Shrewsbury, England 1827 1838 1859 1882 Quits tlie U of E and Marries Emma Wedgewood; Publishes On f/ie Dies and is buried in begins studies at Cambridge they later have ten children ' Origin of Species Westminster Abbey i6 The Beaver 117 February 2009 Features A pnident path to recoveiy Philip Rushworth thinks that Tsvangirai's political pragmatism is a decision for the best u Mugabe has no option but to go," declared Morgan Tsvangirai triumphantly after his March 2008 electoral victory. Yet just under a year later, with this memory still fresh in the mind, the spokesperson and battle-scarred figure of the Zimbabwean Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) hunched over the microphone and pledged allegiance to President Robert Mugabe. Last Wednesday's swearing-in ceremony, in which Tsvangirai took up his new role as Prime Minister, perhaps embodied the fiiture of this beleaguered state - Mugabe's manic restlessness and some unpleasant gun-totting loyalists not far behind him corrfronting the lonely figure of Tsvangirai, the only man who had stood up to the President and now has to profess loyalty to him. Many analysts are critical of Tsvangirai's cooperation with Mugabe and are already counting the days on this power-sharing agreement. However, had they seen the relief that swept through the Zimbabwean people, the thousands of youth, fiill of aspiration and tired of suffering, who gathered at Harare Stadium with a rare cry of hope to welcome their new Prime Minister, they might not have been so pessimistic. For the MDC, the sight of their leader on the stage is perhaps tantamount to disaster; many feel that Tsvangirai has given up the fight and caved under pressure from the pro-Mugabe South African Development Community (SADC), taking up u position subordinate to the man he defeated in an election and without any guarantees of political power. Tsvangirai's responsible and inspiring conduct had provided a sharp contrast to the Mugabe regime ands people had believed the day he joined the Zimbabwean government would be the day he took power. But these people were disappointed. Behind the scenes the party is split and suspicious. As one MDC minister lamented, "a lot of us do not know if this is right or wrong". Nearly three decades have passed since the last time that Mugabe shared power. The year was 1980 and Zimbabwe had just gained independence. The uneasy coalition between two fireedom movements - Zimbabwe Afirican People's Union (ZAPU) and Zimbabwe African National Union (ZANU) - did not last long. ZANU's vocal accusations against ZAPU leader Joshua Nkomo were followed by the massacre of over 20,000 of his supporters. Mugabe, now 85, has not changed; a fact the MDC party workers, who have been tortured in high-security prisons, can certainly testify to. Since the MDC's first-round election victory last March, every measure has been taken to remove them. Mugabe's cronies in the police and secret services proceeded to systematically kill 140 MDC supporters and forced the party to puU-out of the next roxmd of elections..SADC, led by former South African president Thebo Mbeki, managed to negotiate a power-sharing agreement last September but it was one fraught with interference and manipvilation by Mugabe. The Zimbabwe African National Union - Patriotic Front (ZANU-PF) made the agreement unacceptable for both Tsvangirai and his party. As soon as the media spotlight faded, Mugabe gave aU the ten available governor positions to loyalists, renewed a five-year term for the chief of banks - a figure instrumental in the Zimbabwe economic coOapse - and secured the major cabinet positions for his party. "I have been left with crumbs," lamented Tsvangirai, who had been forced into exile as the political campaign against his party had become personal. While this impasse has come to an end, the stubborn tricks of the Mugabe regime certainly have not. There were fears that the swearing-in ceremony might not even go ahead. MDC ' officials had claimed that the accord was changed by ZANU-PF on Tuesday evening, a claim dismissed as a 'typological error', and the deal to release sixteen MDC party members from incarceration has yet to materialise. The controversy over cabi- For Zimbabweans, the power-sharing agreement is the only thing left for them to hold onto net positions has also not been resolved. The country is on the brink of a humanitarian catastrophe unparalleled in its history. The Zimbabwean doUar is next to worthless, unemployment levels remain above 90 per cent while 94 per cent of all schools and hospitals are closed. Between 7 and 9 million Zimbabweans are thought by the United Nations to be in desperate need of food aid. The situation is set to become even worse with the spreading of cholera epidemic; 3,300 people have died while 70,000 others remain infected. For Zimbabweans, the power-sharing agreement is the only thing left for them to hold on to. Should it fail, the fate for most is one of starvation, emigration or even war. This sense of desperation took Tsvangirai's choices away; the value of the agreement wiU depend on if he can change the situation in Zimbabwe. He promised the crowds "to get this country working again". For the optimistic ones, his first 24 hours have done nothing to harm their confidence. Tsvangirai has promised to pay aU government employees in foreign currency, to tackle head-on the cholera epidemic that ZANU-PF dismissed as a Western fabrication and to open aU schools and hospitals as of yesterday. In an open act of defiance against Mugabe, Tsvangirai met with tortured prisoners were due to be released as part of the agreement. The head of political science at Harare University was moved enough to proclaim that "change is coming to Zimbabwe; they wiU have to work together because they both need each other". However, even if the political agreement does not break-down, Tsvangirai is still faced with an unenviable task. Acquiring Western aid remains a challenge; 'Tsvangirai believes that the country needs $100 million each month in aid to rebuild the country. However, donors, with the support of NGOs, are waiting to see if the regime can actually change. Cynics are aplenty. An American spokesperson speculated that Mugabe might be waiting for a flow of foreign aid to arrive before removing Tsvangirai. The demands of the power-sharing agreement have called for an international rapprochement; if i'svangirai can launch a diplomatic initiative without Mugabe's interference, re-development can begin. Tsvangirai's decision is also an opportunity to fight the system from within. Most critics have concluded that these two political'opposites have little chance of working together in a sustained government. This measure of power-sharing can only be temporaiy; the fiiture of Zimbabwe depends on who wriL be victorious in this political challenge. History suggests that Mugabe will not remain benevolent for long in power-sharing coalitions. However, there are important differences between now and 1980. Tsvangirai has become a highly visible and respected political character, both internatiorially and in Zimbabwe; popular support for him would make his removal extremely difficiilt. Mugabe is also dependent on the international appeal of Tsvangirai for any chance to bring improvements to the country. Meanwhile the MDC will take all peaceful means necessary for the liberation of the people. There is also a chance that the man 'who only God can remove', may remove himself, being 85 years old, and aUow Tsvangirai to inherit his powers. The power-sharing agreement appears to be a defeat for everyone who followed Tsvangirai's political fortunes. But change, even a flicker of hope t^at this power-sharing deal represents, is needed for Zimbabwe. While Tsvangirai and the MDC may have their decisions blocked, economy recovery efforts stifled and aspirations for a truly democratic governance process hampered, there could just as weU be some opportunities to be exploited. " The agreement provides the A/IDC a voice; by being in the government they are inore likely to effect change than by remaining excluded from the political process. Pragmatism ruled the day for Tsvangirai, and since becoming Prime Minister, he has been conciliatory. "Mugabe is perhaps part of the problem," he said. "But he is also the solution." Featuires Contact The Beaver Features features@thebeaveronline.co.uk 0207 955 6705 17 The Beaver | lyFebraaiy 2009 From Right to Left: the political columns Hayek Alex Blance Vlad Unkovski-Korica Shoirtchanged on our liberties The other day I took the time out to watch the short film Fitna by the Dutch MP Geert WUders, in which he depicts 'extremist Islam'. The elected politician had been invited by a member of the Lords to show the film in Westminster, but was banned from the entering the UK last week and was turned away at Heathrow . on orders from the Home Office. Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said Mr Wilders would not be let in as his opinions "would threaten community security and therefore public security" here. Having watched the film, it is my opinion that the substance of it is very poor; it makes a most tenuous link between a number of unpleasant verses in the Qur'an and various examples of Islamist extremism around the world, though anyone with half a brain can see that there are equally perturbing statements in the Bible and plenty of examples of Christian brutality through the ages. The comfjlete lack of any sensible message makes it even more ridiculous that the parliamentarian was banned from the UK, on the basis that his film showing would promote hate and violence. Any ' fool can see that the film makes no good points, and even if they thought it did, more people will have been prompted to find the film online and see it than would they would have done if Wilder had been allowed into the UK and showed it to some lords, and no fiirther fliss was made. The case is a perfect example of the paranoia that I have previously described our government as suffering from. As Mr Wilders said himself on his flight to London, "[the British Government] are the biggest bunch of cowards in Europe". He added that he was "coming because I am invited by one of your Members of Parliament. I'm not provocative. I am an elected political representative. I am a democrat. I use my freedom of speech. I am using all the democratic means I have." While I may be unenthusiastic about the message of banning the Qu'ran that Wilders spreads, I am far more disgusted at the idea that the government are prepared to take such restrictive measures against freedom of speech, especially given that the Lords who invited the MP planned to continue to show the film without him there. The only victory that is gained through this ridiculous move is for 'far right' politicians in our own country who will cite the move of the Home Secretary as 'evidence' that 'Islamisation' is occurring in the UK and that Muslim groups are pxUlingthe strings in Whitehall. This is quite clearly ridiculous; but I feel certain we will see this assertion in BNP election literature come the elections June. The UK was, and probably continues to be, a beacon of ftee speech around the world; the freedom to say what we want, be it right, wrong or completely ridiculous, was one we fought hard for and must protect endlessly. Jacqui Smith has shovra herself up again, and the Labour government have again demonstrated their complete lack of understanding of our constitutional heritage. The sooner Gordon Brown allows us to exercise our other civil liberty, our right to vote for our government, tiien the sooner we can throw out this tired, illiberal administration. Mass action, not the ballot box Can the left hope to create a genuine political alternative via the bsdlot box? This is a question that has plagued gen-eratioiis of activists. Lenin famously saw elections 'primarily as a means for tiie political enlightenment of the people'. Yet, it is also true that most left wing organisations that opted for change through the ballot box ultimately moved to become reliable defenders of the status quo. The German Social Democratic Party of 1889 to 1914 stands out in this respect. One of its leaders, Eduard Bernstein, famously formulated the theoretical underpinning for this reformist version of anti-capitalism: 'The movement is everything, the final goal is nothing.' He meant that constant reforms of the system would one day transform it in the interests of the majority, without the need for a sudden rupture with capitalism. Reformism has, however, failed: we still live in a world of alienation, uncertainty and conflict. If Britain's Brown or Brazil's Lula are the best that reformism can offer, reformism is in a dire state indeed. Yet, many groups and organisations of the radical left continue to seek an electoral model as a vehicle for change. Such projects have varied. Most examples fall into three categories. The first is the survival and restructuring to various degrees of radical left organisations firom the times of the Cold War; A fam'oiis instance is Rifondazione Comunista in Italy, which was central to the anti-G8 mobilisation in Genoa in 2001. The party was deeply damaged, however, by its participation in a centre-left government from 2006 to 2008. A second type of new left party involves radicd breaks from existing mass organisations in the working class and its fiision with more radical extra-parlia-mentaiy elements. Die Linke in Germany is probably the best knowm. It was formed when neo-Keynesian Oskar Lafontaine quit the Social Democratic Party (SPD), joined an earlier trade union-based split from the SPD and united with the former East German commuiiists and other smaller revolutionary organisations to form a new party. The dangers inherent in such projects become clear when the more moderate elements in the coalition face electoral temptations of one kind or another. Respect in Britain split in 2007 precisely when the reformist wing felt that defending existing strongholds was more important in the face of an early general ¦ election than spreading the base of the organisation for future contests. A third variety of new left organisations involves enlarged positions of revolutionary^oups.'ThBse frequently faU victim to the sectarianism for which the left is internationally renowned. The Scottish Socialist Party in Scotiand is a recent example, haying collapsed when one faction in the leadership turned on its most renowned Member of Scottish Parliament, Tommy Sheridan, who was embroiled in controversy over a News of the World story on his personal life. Even as the tremendously exciting news reached us in Britain of the foundation of the Nouveau Parti Anti-Capitaliste (New Anti-Capitalist Party) last weekend in France, we must remain cautious: no single model provides the silver bullet with which to kill the reformist vampire. Tensions always emerge in any organisation when the opportunity arises to use political office to effect change. Winning elections may help our voices carry fiirther but we should not forget that real change comes from outside the structures of power - which is why the weight of our activity should remain independent of the electoral mechanism. Viridian A vegetarian's guide to environmentalism JustusRoUin Environment and Ethics officer Vegetarianism, the abstinence from the consumption of meat, fish and poultry, or even veganism, a diet and lifestyle fliat excludes the use of animal products altogether, often appears to be a option for people who are obsessed with healthy living or concerned about animal welfare. But there is much more to vegetarianism than pure health reasons. The link between environmental disasters and meat consumption often appear to be indirect, even far-fetched. But it actually isn't. Take the Amazon for instance - the largest ancient rainforest, vital for local livelihoods as well as for global climate regulation. Millions of indigenous people in the Amazon rely on its resources for survival. And especially in times of global climate change, ancient rainforests provide a "carbon sink" - a reservoir that accumulates and stores carbon-containing chemical compounds. However, our meat consumption is actually destrojdng the Amazon. In the forest region of Mato Grosso alone there are more than 25 million cattle grazing on lands that used to be forested. Mato Grosso is also the region with the highest deforestation rate in Brazil. Altogether, deforestation in Brazil is mindblowing: The mean annual deforestation rate firom 2000 to 2005 (22,392 square kilometres per year) was 18 per cent higher than in the five years before (19,018 square kilometres per year). Greenpeace's report at the World Social Forum in Belem earUer this year clearly showed that deforestation in the Amazon is still mainly driven by large scale cattie ranching. A recent UN report summarised the devastation caused by the meat industry by calling it "one of the top two or three most significant contributors to the most serious environmental problems, at every scale from local to global." Waste of water is an other serious issue that needs to be addressed in an increasingly drought-prone world. It takes 5,000 gallons of water to produce 1 pound of meat, while only 25 gallons are needed to grow 1 pound of wheat. A totally vegetarian diet requires only 300 gallons of vrater per day, while a meat-eating diet requires more than 4,000 gallons of water per day. You save more water by not eating a pound of beef than you do by not showering for an entire year. While the numbers are clear, entrenched habits often stop us from taking action. Even though many of the issues arising from meat production - deforestation and waste of water being two examples amongst many - are generally out of sight, we have no choice but to acknowledge these links with our lifestyles. By acting now, we can have an influence over these problems, and prevent harm to the environment and ultimately to humanity. Maybe personal action can be a start, a beginning to our transformation firom passive consumers to active subjects intervening and making our voice heard. Measured musings Led by their hearts Ten years on, and after some of the most undiplomatic comments from any politician imaginable, it looks like Hugo Chavez might just be in office for that much longer. Over the weekend, Venezuelans voted to lift term limits on elected political offices, meaning that Chavez is allowed to stand for re-election for president in 2012. Despite having the highest inflation in Latin America and being plagued by violence and deep-seated social problems, Venezuelans has given a strong mandate to the socialist direction which the country is heading under Chavez's leadership. Without any tangible positive results from the past years of his presidency, it is natural to wonder where the base of this support originates. Ordinary Venezuelans have claimed that his "victory" would "save the socialist revolution" that their country is experiencing under Chavez's Bolivarian, Castro-influenced policies and leadership style. Chavez does have some grand plans of social spending; providing free education and healthcare in some of the poorest areas in the country, despite the ailing economy and state run companies running severe losses. Given the global economy, it would be foolish to depend on oil reveriue to save the economy and ensure that more is done for the poor in Venezuela. With the absence of any concrete positives that can arise from more years of Chavez's presidency, and his obvious disregard for human rights, media freedom and even democracy, we must look outside the rational to see the basis of his support. Cries of "Uh-Ah, Chavez no se va" (Chavez is going nowhere) are testament to the levels of public emotion when it comes to voting on such issues. Chavez's appeal is grounded in his ability to stir an emotional reaction from his supporters. by using unbridled language in criticizing "enemies" of the Venezuelan people like George W. Bush and promising support and help for the most marginalised sectors of the populace. It is not too much to believe that stunts and pointed references to Bush as the "devil" made at the United Nations General Assembly and other instances of him calling Bush a "donkey" incites an emotional response in Venezuelans, tired of Western domination and scarred by years of colonial rule. They would then see him as a saviour of sorts, able to redeem the country and be outwardly critical to Western rulers, however crazed and undiplomatic these may be. Emotionalism is still an important part of politics, not just in developing countries plagued by a m3nriad of social and economic problems. It is naive to believe that President Obama's victory was based purely on his merits and pragmatic voting. If people from far flung comers all over the world could be inspired by Obama's words and slogans of hope and change, then surely these words played on the emotions of many in America itself and had much to do with determining the vote. While we may have moved away from voting purely based on social class, religion, race, or any other defining trait, and while we as humans are allegedly more rational than we were in previous centuries, the Venezuelans still prove what an important force emotionalism is in decisions as important as this one. As much as we attempt to use rationality to govern decisions from the personal to the political, perhaps sometimes there is a force in us that is hard to be silenced. - Shibani Mahtani Features Editor i8 The Beaver [ 17 February 2009 Features m Photo: Richard Dewey Alumni inteviews: Lord Saatchi Richard Dewey taHcs to Gonseifwative peer Maurice SaatcHi alioiit his LSE arid icarefeir t^s^erteiicies Lord Maurice Saatchi graduated from the LSE in 1967 with a First Class degree in Economics. He co-founded in 1970, with his brother Charles, the advertising agency Saatchi and Saatchi. They were credited with a number of successflil advertising campaigns, most notably the famous "Labour isn't working" posters for the Conservative Party in the 1979 British general election. After a shareholder revolt ousted them from the firm in 1994, Lord Saatchi and his brother successfully formed a new company, M&C Saatchi, the foUowingyear. He was made a life peer in 1996 and his political career includes terms as Shadow minister in the House of Lords for the Treasury and Cabinet Office, and CO-chairing the Conservative Party from November 2003 to May 2005. Lord Saatchi was awarded the Mac-MiUan Prize for sociology whilst a student at the LSE and has been a Governor of the School since 1986. What broughtyou to the LSE? I was at MusweU HiU Grammar School in London and for reasons which now seem prophetic, I only wanted to go to LSE, so I only applied to LSE - it's quite a strange story, now that I think about it. I received two A's - in History and English, and failed French. I got offers from other university's with my two A's, but incredibly I decided to go back to school and retake French. Three days into the term the headmaster at my school informed me that an overseas student couldn't make it to LSE and that they were offering the place to me. Going to LSE meant a great deal to me and I think that is the first time that I've told the story of how I arrived there. What professor, advisor or classmate had the greatest impact on you? My tutor was Professor Percy Cohen, who was the head of the sociology department and he taught me a tremendous amount. I think what he taught me that is so important, is how to organize and present thoughts in a logical way. The particular thing I remember about his training was his habit of illustrating an assertion vnth an example. I thought this was a brilliant method of convincing students of a point. All the subjects that I studied at LSE have had a dominant impact on my life. Everything I've done in politics and business has been a manifestation of what I learned at LSE. Graham Greene wrote " a book 'England Made Me', my version would be 'LSE Made Me'. Were you involved in student politics or student newspaper at the LSE? I wasn't involved in student politics or writing at the time, as I was a very intense student. My time at LSE was marked by major political unrest in the student body and one of the major riots of the era took place while I was at LSE. Unfortunately the porter at the front of the main buUding died from a heart attack during the event. It was a very tragic event, a demonstration that got out ofhand. Itwasthose riots that cemented LSE's reputation as a hot bed for left wing liberal thought. The event received national coverage and stamped LSE's name on the public's mind. It was a very interesting time to be at the LSE. Looking back, what particular aspects of the LSE have helped in.you career? When you're a student at LSE, you're very conscious that you're at an elite institution and that it's a tremendous privilege to be there. If you emerge from LSE with all the training of the mind that I spoke of earlier, it is a marvellous thing for your confidence. It is very important in the first few years after leaving university. It is a calling card of the highest degree and means that you will be taken seriously by serious people. It sets you on the right path in life. Going to LSE meant a great deal to me and I think that is the first time that Fvetoldthe stoxyofhowl arrived there" What was your mindset after graduating from the LSE, what was your first job? I applied for a job at Hajrmarket Publishing and became the editor of a directory, but I was more of a space salesman. Haymarketwas owned by Michael Heseltine (Conservative politician Lord Heseltine) and I went on to be his assistant. I worked there for a couple of years and learned a great deal. When I was 24, my brother said, "we could start an advertising agency," and sol joined him. Could describe the entrepreneurial process of starting Saatchi & Saatchi at such a young age? Starting a new company in your early twenties is very frightening. We had some support, but only about £10,000 and we spent all of the £10,000 on a fvill page advertisement in The Sunday Times. The advertisement said "Why.I think it's time for a new kind of advertising'' and it set out our credo. It was a bizarre thing to do because then we had no money left at all, but it worked, people came to see us, we won some revenue and never looked back. While you were at the LSE studying economics and sociology did you have any sense that you would enter a career in advertising? Was it a career that you had thought about? No, not at aU. I was very happy in publishing and would have been happy to stay there. At that time my brother was becoming a weU-known figure in advertising and I thought it was possible to start our own firm. My opinion was that advertising firms at the time were not all that d3mamic and that we could do quite a bit better. The whole process was hard work and very stressfiil as you might imagine, but after six months we knew we were going to make it. Describe your shift from advertising into politics. WeU going back to just before the 1979 election, Mrs Thatcher had a communications adviser who came to see us. He wanted to organise volunteers from the advertising world to advise Mrs. Thatcher on the election. We said that this was not a good idea - this was probably a cruci^. moment - butwe said that what they :¦* needed was a firm that was on the line ' with them. We told them that they nee&d people whose reputations were oti the line with Mrs. Thatcher, people who w6uld rise up if successfiil or be smashed if they failed. They came back after a whUe and took on Saatchi and Saatchi and that was the beginning of a thirty year relationship between our firm and the Conservative party. , , As a Governor of the LSE what do you see on the horizon for the school? Is there anythingyou would like to see changed? I think Howard Davies is a superb director. I've seen what he has done iti ' internal meetings, in terms of fiind raising and in putting LSE at the centre of politics and he is very impressive. I don't think you could ask to have a better director. In particvJar what *I think is so good about LSE right now is that it is going to make itself Ae central place for thought about the implications of the current crisis. * The incredible change in the world with regard to how vve think about socialism, capitalism, nationalization,state regulation, public expeiiditure as a means of saving jobs - this is a total revolution in political thought and somebody has to map that and see where it will take us. It is a sudden departure and complete reversal from what everybody believed were the conventional wisdoms of our age and it's aU happened in the span of a month. LSE is already getting great speakers to talk about the subject and undoubtedly this will be the main subject of political and economic debate for our generatiorl. LSE has a wonderfid opportunity to be at the centre of that debate and I'm sure it will be. I Social 19 17 Februaiy 2009 | The Beaver Multi-mono-cultui'alism at LSE? Filipe Martins looks at what should be a inelting-pot of cultiif es, but sometimes isn^t Did someone say multiailtur-al? Are you sure? Or'did you mean multi-mono-cultural, just many mono-cultures laid side by side in a bowl? Walk into the Quad. What do you see? You don't need a primary school teacher to help you distinguish between colours. Black with black, white with white, brown with brown, etc. And yes, occasionally there I'll be to mix things up a little, myself and the comparatively few who do. And before you ask, I'm not a racist. So don't get me wrong when I use colours to distinguish between ethnicities. I love the LSE. I am proud to say I am in what is very likely the most ethnically diverse university on this planet. LSE thrives on the different cultures present here. It's great. But unfortunately, the panoply of cultures does not necessarily translate into multiculturalism. Because surely, multiculturalism involves the blurring of boundaries between different cultures and that - and to my initial disappointment -does not seem to happen. V\^at does tend to happen is that those of similar ethnic, social, economic, or even linguistic backgrounds are likely to stick together. But do not be alarmed by my seeming pessimism; it is not bad as it may initially seem. In fact, one comes to understand the rationale behind segregation by ethnicity. Before coming here, I used to think that it was a voluntary choice - Pakistanis consciously did not mingle with Europeans, and vice-versa. Wrong. Very wrong, actually. Think about it this way: you move to live in another country, where people speak another language, have other customs. Would you not rather be around people who understand where you come from? That way, on some level you can feel more at home. I myself am hardly a saint in my social meanderings. Let me catch a Portuguese-speaker and watch me start rambling in Portuguese -1 don't really care if you're Brazilian or Angolan! After all, language is an inherent part of a person's identity. Suppressing it because others don't understand it could actually be a barrier to feeling like one belongs. This tendency to group around one's cultural kin, to which I am definitely not immune, made me reconsider the reason behind cliques. It is a natural phenomenon. It is always comforting to feel someone else understendsyou, to whatever . extent. It is always nice to be able to share elements of your life with people who have been through similar situations. To classify this as racism or classism would,' in fact, be blind to the facts of life. What we have to watch out for, however, is being oblivious of the LSE's wonderfid cultural diversity (notice how I'm not necessarily calling it multicultur- LSE thrives on the different cultures present here alism). It would not do to spend years at the LSE mingling only among one's own kin, speaking only one's own language. That would be closing the doors on the finest educational - and life - opportunity that this university provides. On my part, I am glad to say that my friends are English, Chinese, Indian, Bhutanese, Portuguese, and what not. I am gratefid for it when I enter campus every day; I know it's going to shape me. I don't seek these cultural opportunities deterministicaUy, to "enrich my cultural awareness" and stick it on my CV. But peering outside one's "bubble", and understanding that there is more to the world than one has seen is the spirit of our university. So next time you walk into the Quad or the lecture theatre, look around. OK, there wall be a multitude of groups who seem to all have something in common. Don't be alarmed. Make an effort. Break in. It will be worth it. As U2 would say, "We're one /But we're not the same /We've got to carry each other / Carry each other". Being a citizen of the world Rahul Agarwal celebrates life in the colourful microcrosm that is our city of London Londonisawodddasscity-a Wodd Cily, ifyou win. And it hasn't got that name because it has gieat histoi^, business and ptest^ alone, but because it is so cuhxiia% diirerse. Out of the ally's seven million inhabitants, there aie 50 non-indi^nous connnunities in London, withapf^ulationof overiOAMW. It doesn't realty &el like Fm part: of a minori^ gioup anymore, but rather part; of the growing international and cosmopolitan feelii^ of living in London. I come fiom the largest community of British Indians and am proud of th^ identity. There was a time w^en it meant stsiying in the enclaves of one's own community and becoming isolated fiom the rest of the population. Howevei^ this is the twenty-first centu^ and we have created our own culture thjit is neither Indian nor British - ifsboih. From British Asian Bhangra music to British Indian movies; fiom BBC Asian network radio to art and literature to slangs diis community has truly embedded itself in London. Mai^ people s^ that minorities are still not integrated and are still discriminated against That is vety rare, as I think London is one c^whidi accepts, not resists, dififerent cultures, endnaces dif-fraent religions and adapts to different lai^uages. Itis nowpei&ctfynormalto get on a bus driven by a Brazilian, get your co£fee at Starbucks fom an Australian and then dash to an appointment with your Mal^sian doctor. Novdiere else in the wodd willyou have such variety-except pediaps the IMted States - maldi^ Lon^n such a hotplace to live. Its muhiculturalism is so d[ynaniic in diat you can get exactfy the identity that you want fiom iL If you are a Londoner diat means you are a citizen of die wodd. You don'thave to compromise onyour indigenous culture butyou don'thave to fed isolated by it either. I can go to the Hindu temple in Neasden and preserve diat part of n^sel£ At the same time there are so mai^ craty, unmissable opportunities to taste odier cultures - to eat Mongolian food, shop at a Bei^^ali Siq>emiadcet, learn Swahili at the School of Oriental and AfiicanStudies or tals Argentinean Tango lessons. The LSE is but one of die maiQr institutions wdiere all diese cultures meet " and interact with each odien Eveiyvrfiere you look in London diere is the variety and' multiplicity that makes it unique. Fora tourist, it is great going to Paris or Madrid and seeing French or Spanish tourist at- tractions. Here, you do not just see tourist attractions but e]i9erience ^an atmosphere of gibbalism and internationalism. In fact, I am convinced the one factor that got the IOC convinced that London inst^ of Paris or Madrid should hold die greatest sporting event in the worid, is the beating heart of its muhicnltnralism. Sodologjsts and historians ate amazed l^the range of sub-cultures that make London justifiably'a wodd in one city". Never ham so maity people fiom otha nations come together in one place. Indeed, London is die perfect example of how die world can have harmony arid peace; where civilisadons aren't dashing but Hvii^to-gether. Free to express their own cultures, free to feel part of an international cuhnre. Internationalism Marion Koob spealcs of belonging Over many years, philosophers, anAropologists and politicians alike have been struggling with one of the most basic introductory questions; Where do you come from? It seems ostensibly simple. For many, the places where you were born and live, and where yoiw parents came ftom are one and the same, or may be separated by only relative degrees of proximity. However, examples going against this standard model are becoming increasingly recurrent, and still remain difficult to categorise. There are so many existing ways as to how an individual can be categorised. What wiU then determine where you belong, both on the personal and official level? These are tlie questions one comes to face during the process of expatriation, or upon entering a multicultural community such as, for instance, the LSE. It is true that by experiencing different means of living, being exposed to radically diverging modes of thoughts and integrating portions of these within one's own self, it can be impossible to decide upon a single, definite nationality. What ought it to be, and how does one feel the sentiment of belonging to a certain region, identifying with a certain group? Is it just enough to categorize someone as European? Asian? African? English? Scot? Italian-American - or simply American? And how does being part of a diverse community buzzing with opportunities for cultural exchange affect our perception of the world? Being born in France and having moved to Belgium in my early years, I had no idea what internationalism translated into in real terms meant as I entered an international school. In my years there, I went through an extraordinary evolution in my way of thinking. Soon, however, I noticed that in Belgiimi I tended to be perceived as 'French', while in France, perceived as Belgian,.yet while in English-speaking countries my accent put me down as American. These labels, while sometimes amusing, can lead to a feeling of alienation. What if, in the end, no nationality fits me at all? Even now, I remain at a loss for words when prodded further about my feelings about what we could call "regional identity". Although I have never experienced a particularly nomadic life, interacting for years among individuals who shared the backdrop of the 'international' cidture has left me with a hint of an identity crisis. Coming to the LSE was of no help with this matter. However, it brought me much, much more than anything that could. have been gained from a distinct sentiment of patriotism. Here is a community composed of not just diplomats and other expats, but of individuals who - for the most part - have lived their lives in their own countty. Being rich in the cultural knowledge this entails makes them no less open-minded. The explosion of different cultural activities and interests calls for a further investigation of what being from somewhere truly means, and if, in the end, it really matters anyway. Perhaps it is just a matter of choice and chance, whether your, nationality has an impact on who you are. You can argue that it becomes more pronounced when abroad, in order to mark your differences and express the traditions and habits which you miss from home. On the other hand, these sentiments can also be dulled as a result of exposure to other cultures, leaving the disorienting sense of a 'nationality-void'. Feeling proud of your cultural identity and being open to others are certainly not two mutually exclusive qualities, and thankfully so. But being integrated in a multicultural community is not always the easiest personal decision. 20 The Beavei* 117 Februaiy 2009 Social The truth about documentaries Annika Maya exposes the role of fihii in a dramatic world I love documentaries. I watch tons of them. I am even trying to write my dissertation about about their ability to increase awareness, so I thought this would be an easy task. But as I began to brainstorm this piece, I inevitably kept hitting the same walls I have been coming up against in the preliminary stages of my dissertation planning. Can a documentary do an3rthing, other than spin you an alternative truth not reported in the news? And once the film has imparted all its wisdom on to you, where can you go from there? John Grierson, considered to be one of the pioneers of the modern documentary, saw the medium as a 'creative interpretation of reality'. He defined the filmmaker's role as 'dramatising issues and their implications in a meaningful way', with the goal of 'lead(ing) the citizen through the wilderness'. Essentially, this means that documentaries depict a convincingly subjective truth. Well, I suppose that is better than pretending to present the objective truth, as in mainstream journalism. In James McEnteer's book 'Shooting the Truth: The Rise of American Political Documentaries', he notes that eight of the top ten grossing documentaries of aU time have only been released in the past six years. This recent desire to turn to alternative forms of truth comes precisely firom the homogenised, un-critical news that we are habitually presented with. He says: "These films help feed that need. Much of that hunger has to do with the concentrated ownership of news media, the corporatisation andtrivialisation of the news, and the decreasing spectrum of information." If I've leamt anjrthing so far as a mdia student at the LSE, it's that McEnteer is definitely on to something. The great thing about documentaries is that they provide in-depth accounts of issues that are often ignored, and can circumvent newsroom filters by releasing their work in a cinematic setting. To this effect, it is fitting that apart firom the happy-go-lucky March of the Penguins (which comes in at number two), the top five grossing documentaries include all of Michael Moore's recent films (Fahrenheit p/ii, Sicko, And Bowling for Columbine), and A1 Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. The last four deal with issues that sit at the periphery of our conscience, and that are swept under the rug by the big businesses that are profiting from the continuation of the status quo. What they have in common, besides big budgets and big names, is that they are filled with conspiracy theories and adventure narratives which grab your attention. In a similar vein, Zeitgeist was at one point the most watched film on the internet with an estimated lOO million viewers. These films teUyou to be critical of the government, the media, the brands that you were raised on and the companies that trick you into worshipping them. But the problem with Moore's films, Zeitgeist and the majority of documentaries out there is that after they grab your attention and spark your outrage, the credits roU and you are just left dangling with no soft mediated landing. These documentaries rarely provide you with the tools to do anything. - -¦*1 ! Very rarely will a documentary move you past the doom and gloom and show you how to do something. Awareness is great and aU, but there's something about the cinematic narrative of a documentary that tugs at your heartstrings more than a I w- tj^ical newscast ever could, and you want to do something after watching one. Save a d3nlng chUd, stop a war, protest loudly. But like ever3fthing else, it seems that you or I are too little to make any kind of difference. Inevitably, after years of being a regular attendee of the great documentary series Cinema Politica (check them out at cinemapolitica.org), I found that I often felt more disenfranchised, helpless, bad global citizen than before. For example, I would always grab my non-fat latte before the film and, despite knowing about Starbucks' evil ways, I'd still sometimes end up there. Then, one fatefid evening I was subjected to the horrors of the coffee industry in the superb film Black Cold. Sliding into my seat, I loathed myself for having just contributed to the evils that I suddenly understood even better than I had 90 minutes before. But what was I to do? Not go back to Starbucks? Okay, maybe that one's easy. But most people find it exhausting to fight the 'evil corporations' day in and day out. And what about issues that you really cannot do anything about, such as the continuing hostilities in Iraq (No End in Sight), or the harrowing truth in Darfiir (The Devil Came on Horseback)? Clearly many around the world know what good their protests against invading Iraq did. It seems that even if you want to help, it is impossible. To its credit, films like An Inconvenient Truth really have started to respond to this feeling of helplessness. A piece from The Economist last month noted that most of the documentaries featured at Sundance in January were emidatingthe style of Gore's movie. Sundance's founder Robert Redford was quoted as saying that now, "Just explaining the problem isn't enough. You have to show what people can do about the problem." Now, getting the message out needs to be coupled with action. I am curious though, if the masses can even be bothered to act after all the years of apathy. For me personally, the verdict is stiU out but I think that this new trend is promising. For my part, if all I can do is stay on top of the issues and teU others to check out more documentaries, I think that's a small step in the right direction. Share your discoveries with your friends, because at the end of the day a good documentary is just like school without the mandatory homework. And if the voluntary homework involves writing to a Member of Parliament or getting someone else to vvatch a film, you're on the way to making some kind of difference. \ If you don't know whei;e to look, for start-ets check out: www.fteedocnmentaries. otg; www.fireedocuttientaries.net oir , ¦ www.inoviesfoundonllne.cowi. This week himnd ci nd campus Global week. RAG week. Pulse RAGathon - 24.7 Tuesday 17 Febniaiy LSESU German Society presents: Georg Boomgaarden - German Ambassador to the Court of St. James's Lecture: Gemuug; and thebttemational Financial and Economic Crisis S78,2.15 pm to 3.15 pm Christian Schmidt - Parliamentaty State Secretary to the Federal Minister of Defence Lecture: German Security Policy-Tour d'Horizon D702,5 pm to 6 pm Development Society presents Held Research Panel: Developing Countries NAB 214,5:30-6:30 LSE SU Politics Society Film screening - 'Peace One Day NAB 2.14,7-9 pm Wednesday 18 Februaiy Development Society People Auction, featuring Howard Davies, Miss LSE and more The Quad, 7.30 pm The Albanian Society presents: Kosova Independence: One Year On Speaker: Ambassador MuhametHamiti from the Republic of Kosovo Student Comeify Hub presents: Comedy Equation - 8 Comics, one night Thursday 19 Februaiy Development Society lecture: Fragile IRnance, Fragmented Governance, Changing World $78,4:30-6:00 Berthold Kohler - Editor Frankfiirter Allgemeine Zeitung (FAZ) Lecture: Newspapers: Is the End near? D702,2.15 pm to 3.15 pm Frid^ 20 February LSESU Albanian Society presents: Dr Gezim Alpion Lecture: 'The Albanian Nun Who was not considered 'European' Enough: Why did Mother Teresa leave the Loreto Order?' Hong Kong theatre, 6:30-8pm German Society presents: Professor Norbert Walter - Chief Economist Deutsche Bank Lecture: The Financial Crisis - Causes, Consequences, Cures D202,2 pm to 3 pm Oktoberfest Party 8pm to 2am, Underground Bar. Saturday 21 Februaiy 2009 The UK Fabian Society presents: Beatrice Webb - Ughting Poverty & In-iequality in an Age of Affluence Centenary Conference Speakers: Lord Roy Hatterslty .Professor Peter Townsend, Dr. Dianne Hayter and others Further information at http://fabians. org.uk/events/events-news Humour across campus The British have always had theiif own brand of humowi*. The Americans believe they have had theifs. In the globalised worid of today, though, no culture can stay undiluted. The LSE is the perfect place to test that theo*y. To celebrate multiculturalism in all aspects of life, the Beaver picked random representatives from each undergraduate level to see what the modem student finds entertaining. The question posed to them was: What was the last thingyou found hilariousljr funny? Answers ranged from highbrow, to sadistic, to simpfy bizarre. This is diversity at its best. Year i: The politically consious Ashwin Desai - BSc Government and Economics It was on Snow Day Number One. The Happy One, where the weather was still exciting and everything. I decided to go on a walk around town, hoping to engage in mischief and knavery, fim and firolickage, in the white stuff. Turns out that my shoes are rubbish and have tiny little holes in them, so that every time I step outside my socks get drenched and my toes turn to ice. But that isn't the point. They're also properly slippery. So there I was in my vagabond shoes (to quote Frank Sinatra),.strolling (sliding sliding sliding) around the city, generally keeping a smile on my face to give people the impression that I was enjojdng falling all over the place in the freezing cold. Then, aU of a sudden, it was if the Divine beheld my plight and opted to send me some (metaphorical) marma. Abunch of thieving capitalist dogs unconscious of the irony marched out of this post-Stalinist monolith. Believing themselves to be External (and superior) to the forces of Nature (as they all do), they were subjected . to a rude awakening of the highest order when it struck them that those pristine, new, oppression-rendered leather boots were just as prone to hazard as mine own vagabond shoes. In those capitalism-eclipsing weather conditions, they crashed in a heap by the roadside. Vagabondism -'1. Capitalism - 0. Year 2: Delight in destruction Falak Ghori - BSc Management A cheerfU "Goo"-ing egg enters the screen. Very matter-of-factly and deftly ties an elastic band around two nails; sheds it shiny, purple foil skin and catapults itself onto the screen; splattering white, yeUow and chocolate everywhere. The Result - two hysterical, spastic, stom-ach-clutching viewers laughing rnanicadly; and two others, perturbed slightly nauseated and shocked not just at the video, but at the other two's reaction. The YouTube playlist progresses and the suicidal eggs become wilder and frankly quite ingenious in their methods to off themselves, whilst the strong divide on "to laugh or not" ends as even the most disgusted scrunched-up nose crumples into a smile. Trust me; these videos are sick. The congregationEil mass suicide mousetrap is a personal favourite, complete with classical music in the background and the Kamikaze-like devotion of the eggs. Sweet. Year 3; The random Simon Wang - BSc Accounting and Finance I was in Rough Trade in PortobeUo Market with some firiends and I was looking at some CDs in a comer of the shop. AH of a sudden I heard a scream from another comer of the shop, 'SIMON! THIS ISN'TWORKING!' I waridered over, and one of my house-' mates was standing over an old vinyl player, headphones plugged in. She then started complaining about the fact that she could orily hear scratching on the disc, still screaming away. I casually looked over and realised that there was no disc oh the vinyl player. I showed her. Her embarrassment was quite funny. I also tell this story whenever we meet new people and it really pisses her off. The Beaver 117 Febraary 2009 THIS WEEK AlUNINB O Discovei* Islam Week Launch. Photo: Cherie Leung /J India Week Sari Tvine. Photo: Affai Discovei* Islam Week Calligraphy Session.Photo: Aftan Mohamed Cheric Leung. Alfan Mobamiiland Jayncsh Patclbiings you the best sights rrom Houi^ton Street and heyond •• iW:j« "5, . m '"¦» 11^ " f .¦ .f . / ¦ ggj®?«SS - 5.\ ^5 • 1I6«» * " Fireworks on Valentine's Day. Photo: Cherie Leung ."^1: K ' r 22 The Beaver 117 February 2009 Contact Beaver Sports thebeaver.sports(a)lse.ac,uk 02079556705 Sport Netball firsts are singing in the rain Hannah Ifysoii After a few close and disappointing losses, the netbaU i®* team began week five with a steadfast determination to prove how well we can actually play. Witii the optimism of our head sensei that the rain would surely subside, we were the only team to make an appearance at our home ground this Monday night past. This further proving the point that we take our sport seriously, at least compared to the Boy's Rugby Firsts who cancel their training at the slightest hint of drizzle. Unfortunately, instead of subsiding, the downpour continued and we mentally prepared ourselves for a battle against the elements and King's Medics Firsts. Our warm up gave us little encouragement as we found it hard to get to grips with ball control and keeping steady balance on court. We were also aware, with certain player's absence, a lack of subs meant that we could afford no injuries. With our most ferocious defender Bruce stuck indoors forced to meet deadlines, our multitalent-ed Captain took over the role of defence ably assisted by our star keeper Effalange. Both worked weU as a new double defensive team managing to turn-over the majority of balls that came their way, Effy having the added determination of winning to ensure nothing could dampen her birthday celebrations that night. The conditions created quite an interesting game, with a high rate of ball dropping and foot-faults from both sides. Unfortunately, even though overall we appeared to adapt quite weU, the early part of the game went the way of our opposition, who led 6-1 after two quarters. No sentiment was spared in the half time dressing down (more was to come later on that evening) from our Captain as we were reminded that our pride and dignity was at stake. Straight away our playing picked up and we steadUy managed to convert our positive play into scores. Some outstanding interceptions came from my fellow sheep-lover Rhiannon as I just can't wait till 1 get home and 1 can hold my boobs because right now they are frozen" well as some well-placed shots from our shooters. Just as our luck was changing, however, one of our foremost players Hannah took a horrific slam to the ground. Tripped up by her defender, Hannah proved heroic by not shedding a tear even though clearly in severe pain. Fortunately shortly before, another hero in the form of Pui had arrived and managed unknowingly to save the day and maintain our full team. With a quick adjusting of positions. Charlie picking up shooting duty and Pui taking over defensive duties, we battled on. Some artfiil dodging came from my turtle twin Natello created some promising plays while Babybell, continued her fine form on, and off, the court by draining some difficult shots. However the author was letting the team down by letting the baU slip between my fingers and without wanting to get called up for re-playing, attempting to guard the ball while shrieking inaudibly to try and notify one of my team mates they needed to pick it up. Guarding the ball however, not strictly being allowed, created uproar from the opposition but was ignored by the umpire who maintained we should regain possession. Carrying on, we held out for a heroic victory finishing the game at an unsurprisingly overall low score of 10-8. However happy we were to win, the realisation that we were completely soaked through, cold and worn out took hold. Changing room time was spent admiring the bruises Hannah had gained. utilising amusing drying techniques and explaining to the amazement of our Captain the score had actually ended in our advantage. Some more delirious chat followed on the train ride home and even though most of us had sufficiently warmed up some clearly hadn't, quoting from a certain dark horse: "I just can't waittm I get home and I can hold my boobs because right now they are frozen". Moving on to the topic of Valentine preparations that were underway, a certain player expressed dismay at her boyfriend's refusal to wear a nurses costume. Happy that we could now celebrate ' Effy's departure from teenage years and our victory, the majority of the team managed to make it to the notorious Cheapskates. Without wanting to dish out the dirt on my feUow team members publicly, some lucky few managed to not only score with a different set of balls to normal, however if interested look for facebook pictures that may be appearing shortly... Get Ready, Set...Exec Change is taking place all around us; Obama is the President of the United States, Pelton is the sports editor, and Mr LSE has brought gender equality back to the LSE. In the spirit of all things new, it's time for the AU exec to stand down and be replaced by those with competent, imaginative and fresher livers. In other words, the AU needs you. What does it take to be a good exec member? Anything and everything. All you really need is the desire to make the AU more inclusive and more accessible. Our main aim is to increase participation in all things sporting and social. Most people see the exec as just organising the events (that's the best bit) but it is also about liaising with the school, the Student's Union and with the 'quieter' clubs about the needs of all sports clubs. Whatever role you run for, being on the exec is so much fiin, extremely entertaining and by looking at this years bunch, a sure fire way of dating a first year. President Best title, most work. Certainly a bigger commitment than the other roles- at the end of the day you are responsible for ensuring everything gets done. It helps if you are a big fan of emails, as these come and go in abundance. The President also sits on the SU exec, attends the BUCS conference and BUCS and ULU meetings. It's incredibly interesting and enjoyable, also probably the most rewarding, but don't expect to have huge amounts of free time or pull unobserved in walkabout. ^-> Treasurer Lots of work at the beginning of the year deciding on club budgets, but this allows you to meet aU the captains and treasurers and see how the money works. Ideal ifyou wantto perfect your signature, as you wiU be signing cheques until the cows come home. Makes it seem you have done something 'financy' on your CV, even if most of your calculations involved how much free wine could be distributed at the AU ball. V___> Secretaiy Takes notes in AU exec meetings and emaOs them around afterwards. Like all roles, helps organise events and promote the work of the exec. Events Officer Best opportunity for creativity and you can screw members of the AU over with disgusting fines at the Carol. Can be very time consuming around big events, but a great sense of pride when aU works out. Being organised is definitely a plus for this job, but Jacko has been brilliant and will readily confess to not being suited to a role involving logistics. ClubLiasons After two years on the AU exec I still cant teU you what someone in this position is meant to do. I don't think Charlie could teU you either. However this also means that an3fthing can fall under the liaisons remit, so you wiU be as heavily involved in everything the exec does as all other positions. Open to endless jokes about your personal liaisons with members of other clubs. Communications The comms officer's role is to make sure the AU is represented on Pulse and in the Beaver. Captains will be very aware this role involves gathering the sports results each week for the Beaver. When necessary, assists the president and events officer. Please email me at su.aupresident@lse.ac.uk or any of the AU exec stating the role you wash to run for by Tuesday 24 February so you can be sent more information. Although lateness is rudeness, nominations wiU be accepted up until the start of hustings. These will take place at 8.30pm in the Quad on the Wednesday of week seven (25 Feb), with all candidates giving short speeches. Please note, fancy dress for candidates is compulsory. Any questions on any of the above just get in touch. Words l^^phie Hunt Squash I Jonathan Weir 9-0 Geoff Dinneen Badmingeton LSE AU Girls 4-1 Business society Mongolian Mud Wrestling LSE 3-9 University of Ulaan Batar CRUSH brawling LSE nutheads 4-1 Strange outsiders Scuba javelin fighting Clownfish 12 - 3 $;^bali€iil officer browiinosiiig Fisher 10 - 5 Sheldon Beaver chanting Beaver office 1-0 Pulse AU does Crush this Friday! Military Uniform £mcy dress: Prizes for best dressed team Free before 10 - £3 for ^ AU members Sport 23 The Beaver 117 February 2009 Academic All Stairs swap books for boots Philosophical Bany This week, during one of my weekly youtube sessions I found myself chuckling while looking back at some vintage Monty Python sketches. Call me old-fashioned but none of today's comedians, especially comedy's equivalent of Claire Sweeney - the talentless, wiUy joke extrodinaire Alan Carr - even come close to the Flying Circus. The 'Ministry of Silly Walks' re -mains my personal favourite of the group's creations, but a close second is the faceoff between Germany and Greece's finest philosophers. The finest minds of yesteryear find themselves in a situation normally graced by those with the average mental capacity of Archimedes' left bum cheek - a game of football. "Fool" I hear you cry, but let's be honest for a moment. Graeme Le Saux, Petr Cech and Robbie Fowler (alright probably not intelligent, just savvy in the property market) are not typical examples of the masters of the art. I began to ruminate on what an LSE all-star XI would look like on paper. With this is in mind I began to research our more illustrious alumni and began to construct a team of the finest minds our fair university has ever produced. AU good teams are built on a solid foundation, a reliable pair of hands between the goal posts. England had Banks, Man United had Schmeichel and Bristol City have Basso (the best keeper outside the Premiership). For the LSE, I have gone for the unflappable R. H. Tawney. A man whose abilities of concentration and attention for the finest of details are only rivaled by Carr's gift for cringey jokes, maldng him die perfect choice for our goalkeeper. At fiiU-back, I have gone for athleticism in the form of Walter Adams and Kwame Nkrumah. The former having a penchant for putting people on the ground Qust ask the 1967 LSE student protestors), and the latter being vested vdth the passion and drive that is needed for perhaps the most energy sapping position on the • field. Although, in truth, he only intended to come and didn't actually make it, a situation many AU members find themselves in with regards to lectures and classes. In the modem game) leadership is essential through the spine of your team. That is why John Fitzgerald Kennedy partners Michael Oakeshott at centre-half. JFK would have been a fine AU member considering he allegedly had to leave the school early after contracting gonorrhea. Oakeshott, a pillar of a man apparently. would complement the flighty Kennedy with size and strength, also describe as a 'lonely nihilist' he would also fit the ranks of some of our more avant garde AU members. Our right wing boasts Friedrich von Hayek with the left occupied by Harold Laski. If that gag was lost on you, then consult the columns in the features section (the ones written by the fat bloke with the funny voice and the boring Tory guy). The central midfield positions see Bertrand Russell and Amartya Sen partnered in a frightening combination of fire and foresight. Sen, an open critic of the market, and Russell, a vocal proponent of free trade, would've probably had their fair share of bust ups. But it is this passion and commitment to the cause that has driven this selection. Dear old Bertrand also cites 'sex' as one of his main interests in his autobiography, saucy bugger. Finally up front sees the indomitable Karl Popper as the main target man. In the mould of a good old-fashioned EngUsh centre forward. Popper would hopefidly falsify claims that the LSE is 66th best university in the world, in theoretical ' football matches at least. Our final spot goes to current academic and Taekwondo master Danny Quah. The perfect foil for Popper, Quah's speed and mobility would surely give opposition defences existential nightmares, while he would also be pretty handy in any brawls. The Bench: Robert Kilroy-Silk, Mick Jagger, Lloyd Grossman, Lawrence Rugeroni, ValVenis. WAGs: Cherie Blair, Monica Lewinsky, Edwina Curry, Valerie Plame. Not a bridge too far for the LSE Deep Heat onboaid with the LSE 2nd ¥111 as they crash Cambridge In their second race of the season, LSE's 2nd VIII took on 98 other boats including crews from Cambridge, Imperial, Bristol and London. All were competing in the four-kUometre Quintin Head course on Tideway. Taking out 'Black Beaver' - a boat predominantly held together with duct tape - the LSE Seconds felt supremely confident. But after a great row to the start line, flielled by Mr Sean 'Bang Bang" Baker's singing, things started to go amiss. As the LSE opened up an early lead, Bristol decided that they felt somewhat enamored by bowman Pete Yu's lycra, and started encroaching upon his rear end. After bravely holding off Bristol's advances, the LSE crew got into a good rhythm as they headed under Hammersmith Bridge. Deciding generously that other crews should have a chance, Alexis 'Massive Crab' Morcrette pushed his blade into the water to let other boats catch up. Alexis' plan worked so well that the boat simulated an emergency stop, causing massive confiision within Pete Yu's Bristol boat. In the main body of the race, LSE got into the zone, coming out only to pay tribute at the position of the fateful women's quad's capsize earlier this year. Howevei: Dan Marcus came out of the zone only to take a protein shake and buy Tesco value condoms. After the rest of the boat acknowledged Alexis' charitable gesture, LSE swung back into their stride to keep up a three-abreast battle with Emmanuel School and University of London. Around two-thirds of the way through the race, and well into this epic battle, the crew simultaneously glanced sideways to be confronted with the sight of midget coxing. Post-race, after ruling.out a mass hallucination, Hawaiian Ryan curtly pronounced use of such a being illegal. After some confident coxing firom Ms Hamilton, the boat recognised their fortune when an Imperial boat member was threatened with 'number six, I'll f***ing hityou in the f***ingface if you don't f***ing catch in time, you f***ing ****'. The LSE crew held on to the UoL boat until a few hundred metres from the final, when the LSE team realised that they weren't €1^. And UoL were. A good result aU in all, coming in halfway through the field and, importantly, beating boats in the categories above and a poncy Irnperial boat. We headed to the pub for post-match analysis, where it was generally decided that Alexis was a dick, and midgets shouldn't be allowed to cox. We presume that we beat Cambridge to the pub. Next oh LSERC's calendar is the Hammersmith Head in week eight, in which two boats will be entered. The main focus of this season is Head of the River race in week ten, in which 500 boats play destruction derby. Lets hope Brizzle doesn't catch sight of Pete Yu. The rowers are also doing a sponsored row from London to Calais on the 17 February in the Quad/Houghton St and the Tuns so please give generously. J d Photos: Nancy Lu. What was that about midget coxs? Gamblei's Anon The normal format of this column is thus: I talk about last week's bets, tell you how badly we failed, then try and make some, at times bad, jokes about this week's raft of disastrous punts. However two major barriers are in place preventing us from regurgitating this highly successfvd layout. Firstly, being a bunch of total luddites, we can't quite work out the result of our greyhound racing bets. And secondly, it's 2am as I write this so the only jokes I can come up with involve stuffed hampsters, peanut butter and sanitary towels. Need sleep. This week I am going to focus our fiinds from the kind people at Betfair on events in the West Indies. After the humiliation of the first test and the drama of the abandoned second, there is plenty of room for interesting wagers. Also the LSE cricket season is getting into gear, so hopefidly this little plug will get them to virrite some articles for our lovely editorial team. Ten of our finest pounds are being placed on Stuart Broad to score a half century in the first innings at 4/1. While he hasn't been showing such good form with the bat of late, Broad has shown to be a class act at the crease in his burgeoning test career. Although judging by his complepon he is about as well suited to spending long periods in the sun as a loosely credible news story, we think Broad is gonna block out the ball, and the heat, and build himself a tidy little score., A wild two bets of £4.50 each will go on West Indies Captain Chris Gayle to smash a first innings hundred at 9/2 and on the , match to reach a conclusion in the evening session of the fifth day at 30/100. Finally an outrageous £1 will be placed on the match being tied at a pretty reasonable 129/1. The same odds as anyone finding something in this article funny. sports caffiono fMsker gamble responsibly. ^ Visit www.gambleaware.co.uky The Beaver 117 Februaiy 2009 Not an oar-ful << page 23 Firsts fall victim to medical malpractise Robin Low reccounts an extraof dinary week for the FC's finest footballing specimens A strange cup schedule was thrust upon the LSE's ist XI last week. With the threat of a cup tie being decided by the toss of a coin, the David Beckham Academy was promptly booked for an extraordinary Monday night match, with the winner plajdng St. Mary's on the Wednesday. Some have questioned Captain Ed Healy's punishing training regime and collective showering policy but the justification was all along to make sure the team would be prepared should such a bizarre situation as this arise, lliere was much anticipation preceding this game, and some small talk of Beckham himself coming to officiate, although this unfortunately did not present itself to be true. The game itself was tough. The pitch was a lot bigger than our home pitches at Fortress Berrylands, and coupled with playing on a harder astro-turf surface, serious adjustment was required. The game started in LSE's favour, going into half time 1-0 up following a rare Dicky Roberts header firom a Rob 'Roiy Delap' Low throw. Even tougher than the first, the second half was subject to some mistakes at set pieces which allowed Chichester to go 2-1 with 10 minutes to go. Time for plan B then. The skipper changed the formation to an unconventional 2-4-4, ^ soon followed courtesy of Monty Ismail. To the distress of everyone on the pitch this meant 30 minutes of extra time were to follow. Given the majority of both teams were suffering from cramp at this point another half an hour of football seemed like a punishment for not being able to win the game in normal time. Monty popped up again and managed to bag the winner in extra time, though celebrations were fairly mute come the final whistle as the team barely had the energy to drag themselves to the dressing rooms. and eventually Cheapskates later on. Following a day's rest we had another cup game to attend, with the winner progressing to the semi-final of the BUCS competition. With half the team absent still suffering cramp, those who did turn up were clearly wishing they had composed some elaborate excuse to stay at home, as LSE this time went into half time a goal down. An Ed Healy 'hairdryer' special brought some life into the Firsts, alongside new acquisition Teddy Todorov, as erudite off the pitch as he is elegant on it. An own goal, followed by a Rick Roberts finish gave "An Ed Healy 'hairdiyer' special brought some life into the is" the lead early on in the second half. Then ensued some chaotic goal mouth incidents at both ends, with Healy pulling off a good save to keep the lead in our hands. Kno-ertzer then cooly slotted home to stretch the lead to 3-1. Then came the moment of the afternoon with what some have been calling the best goal seen at Berrylands for a generation. Rob Low sent the fourth goal into the net with great aplomb, putting the result out of Chichester's reach. Saturday then came, and a chance for revenge against a RUMs side that put an early dent into LSE's title hopes. A place in the ULU Cup semi-final was at stake. and tempers were flared from the start. At the end of 90 minutes the game was 0-0. Early into extra time RUMs scored twice following errors, so a move to plan B was required, 2-4-4. Knoertzer scored to make it 2-1 and provide some hope, yet it was all in vain. Of note in this game were four straight red cards. A RUMs player was sent off for a tackle that would have seen him banned for a month in the Premiership. A spectator who gave the name 'Howard Davies' was also sent off, as well as Tom Jacques and Rob Low, who let their frustrations get the better of them. All that can be said, for the sake of the future of the medical service, is that these 'doctors' in waiting will aU hopefully fail their exams, as the majority of their attitudes wouldn't even be acceptable on the terraces of Millwall Football Club. There is still plenty to play for, a BUCS semi-final against Portsmouth awaits, as does a chance to win the league. If we cannot find success here, then at least we all know we will be bringing silverware back from the annual sports trip to Spain, where LSE has a fine tradition of success. Snooker team leave Imperial in a hole The Midlands Universities Snooker Championships, an annual invitation-only event prior to the national BUCS Championships, were held at RHeys in Coventry on 7 and 8 February 2009. Incorporating four competitions in total: Senior Team (1st teams), Junior Team (2"'' & 3"' teams), and Individual Senior and Junior level championships. Each year a trophy is also awarded to the player with the highest break. Teams from Warwick, York, Cardiff, Nottingham, Southampton and Imperial attended, aU of whom have been regulars at this event unlike the LSE who had hitherto never competed at snooker. Although according to BUCS regulations a new team can only play at Shield Level (i.e. with 2"'' & 3"* teams), for some reason the Warwick organisers decided to put us in the Senior Team championship, facing a frankly terrifying line-up of snooker legends. Of course we had our own legendary snooker wizard, Robert Li, a BUCS quarter finalist last year. But given that prior to the event we had only had one snooker tournament and one team practice session, we knew we were going for experience purposes only. Before leaving we foolishly checked out Warwick's snooker web page, only to be met with a dizzyingly impressive high breaks board, with 90+ breaks towards the top and even their worst 3"' team players having had breaks of over 40 in competition, higher than anything we had managed in the past few weeks even in practice. With opponents such as Mike Walsh (England snooker team). Matt Tug-by (highest break trophy last year). Matt Bradley (nine-ball champion with a 129 high break) and James HUl (BUCS national snooker individual champion 2006), we decided that anything other than utter humiliation would count as a victory. As luck would have it, Robert and Lee drew Bradley and Tugby in the first cocking round of the twatting individual championship. Lee was about to start cutting himself with despair, but decided to watch Robert's match against the vauntedBradley first. A fantastic best-of-three match ensued, with Robert winning the first frame, which v(ras decided on the final black and resulted in easily the loudest shout of the entire weekend, thanks to the nearby LSE audience. Sadly, the volume diminished as Matt scraped both of the following close- run frames to knock Robert out. Lee was sufficiently inspired by Robert's battle that he decided to postpone suicide until after his match against Tugby at least. Matt is arguably one of the best university cueists in England and a jolly nice chap as well. He's also calmer under pressure than a monk on valium, which can be pretty unnerving to play against. Tugby won the first frame but it was a close one, which made Lee think he might actually have a chance. That chance came in the second frame, when Lee potted a long red, gaining perfect position on the black. After sinking that one, he then potted another 3 reds, all with subsequent blacks, and suddenly people firom other, tables started coming over to watch, with one person mentioning that the 147 was on. Lee left himself a perfect angle to break open the pack off his next red. A Warwick guy said "man, if this works...", at which point Lee went back to normal and missed, and the small audience offered a collective 'meh' and walked away. Lee decided not to give away the fact that this 32 was his highest ever break in competition (which also resulted in his name being shown on the high breaks board for the championship), and tried his best to look disappointed, rather than delighted, with what he had just done. Another 18 break in the firame and some good safety resulted in Matt needing snookers, thus giving Lee the ridiculously unlikely ac -colade of taking a frame off Tugby. Chuffed to bits, but the chuffedness was short-lived as Matt won the deciding frame. Alpesh and Will both had similarly tough first round draws and got knocked out, leaving only Dan Steene who managed to win an epic deciding firame in his match against one of the Nottingham boys. Unfortunately for Dan his next round match was against the eventual finalist from Cardiff, and as Dan commented, "destroyed is not a steong enough word for what just happened to me". The team championship began in the afternoon, with the LSE drawing the Imperial 1^' team in their first match for an all-London affair among what was otherwise a bunch of northern monkeys. To put things into perspective. Imperial have been re^ar contenders at national university snooker events, and in fact reached the semi-final of the BUCS National Snooker Trophy in 2008. They also have' their very own snooker room on campus with four snooker tables. We, on the other hand, have no snooker tables, no experience (apart firom Robert of course) and only one practice session under out belt. So it was several different kinds of awesome Aat we ended up beating them 6 frames to 4.. Oh yes. We beat the Imperial 1"' team. Their Hard Science style was no match for our Investment Banker's swagger. Sadly that was our only team victory over the weekend, writh Robert being the only outstanding player, winning 6 frames, which included breaks of 33 and 35 (Alpesh won 3 team frames, Lee 2, Dan 1 and none for Will or Ken) but the ability to secure gloating rights in London made the whole thing worthwhile. At the BUCS Shield in Leeds in March, none of the teams we will face will be as strong as the Imperial 1"' team, so this means we have a great chance not only of getting past the quarter finals and being promoted to the fiill championship next year, but we also have a chance at actually winning it. And if we win the BUCS pool shield in a couple of weeks as well, I think a strongly worded letter to Howard Davies, demanding our very own snooker and pool room, will be in order. PflPTD 3RANT lizcheesbrough is stuck on a desert island 4BRAKES liiliaiiboys • interviews the resurgent brighton rockers (FILM tventmaynard frost/nixon and zohan reviewed IVISUALARTS dmstlnaschmidt zur nedden a stroll down to the courtauld gallery at somerset house tSCENTREt a psychopath's guide to being normal liammclaughlin&catliydruce why you need gang of four in your life and lify aflen's new single 12JOURNEYS graemebirrel on living in azerbaij an 13 THEATRE loisjeaiy be near me! MTV angelachow come dine with me! ISFOOD sophiemarment the hare and tortoise KSEX&CENDER helenreeves abercrombie & fitch's misogyny Yes, it's true. Life at the Beaver has finally rotted my brain. The results are clearly evident in this week's cover, which suggests a car didn't brake in time to avoid an accident involving david frost, in the middle of somerset house. Don't worry, my medication's in the post. In other news, we found a foaming killer squatting in the office, so we forced him into a cage and made him give us advice on how to be normal. FAQI FAX! FACTS! Cher Julian, Pendant que je mangeasse mon porridge d'escargots, je me suis presque etouffe. Pourquoi? Votre article degueulasse au su-jet des sucettes, que j'ai trouve crasseux, et plein d'allusions grivoises. Jene laisserais jamais ma tortue jeune pres de vous. Avec colere, Gustave Flaubert Querido Juan, He perdido los zapatos que me regalaste, y ahora no se que hago con los limones. Debo comerlos con queso? Creo que los ratones verdes van a llegar el 29 de febrero, pero llamame si es mas temprano. Hasta luego, Orly RELAX: WE'REONLYTWO YEARS BEHINDTHE TIMES. F0RARE6ULARD0SE0FCULTURAL MUSINGS AND ORIGINAL ARTieLES.SHIMMYIHnVNTO RANT 3 That would be your Desert Island Disc? People who know haven't thought about it enough, and people who don't haven't heard enough yet. Suffice to say, it's the only company you're going to have for a damn long time - so ^ you need to get it right. It has to be a truly meaningful relic of all your experiences; something that reflects a little of what you are, a little of what you like and a little of what you want to be. The Desert Island Disc question has been bothering me for about a week and a half, but I think I've got it. I want the Rolling Stones. Now before you throw up your hands in horror (or delight. Please let some of you be delighted) consider the true meaning of Desert Island Discs. Don't say it's too old, too irrelevant, too uncool compared to the plethora of modern music on offer. The materialism of fashionable music taste avoids the point of the challenge altogether - there will be nobody there to be fashionable in front of, and the palm trees don't give a shit if you listen to techno, opera, baroque or gabba. The competition we make in comparing each other's music tastes creates a boundary between what we think we should like and what we genuinely enjoy; to the extent that we can't even tell the difference between the two. The role of Desert Island Discs has to be getting rid of the petty insecurities about our own status that we throw around be creating hierarchies of taste. By nature, taste is individual - and there is no 'good' taste beyond your own. Your song needs to be something that covers all angles - past, present and future, internal and external. The stones bring back a turbulent wave of a thousand memories for me - some good and some bad. It covers all aspects of my life, even though I rarely remember playing them on purpose. If we can stop liking music because it's cool according to some arbitrary website we currently agree with then we can actually enjoy things on our own terms. Music isn't about 'new' or 'classic', it's about whatever truly turns you on - your Desert Island Disc has to be your personal best. These songs are more than music; they are literature, images, tangible shapes. They are a lifestyle. They are the stories in your mind, your codes and behaviours wrapped in fantasy. The story in my mind I share with you here, so when you know your Desert Island Disc, perhaps write your own. It is indeed not even about just one disc, it is about many; their words quoted within mine. If it really is your choice, then both your words and theirs are one and the same. The words you write are not • about you, they are about how you see, feel and breathe the music - after all, you wouldn't want to take a record of yourself talking now, would you. Uzchezbroro writes creative^ on a desert island astomis She groaned, stretched, pulled away. 'I look inside myself and see my heart is black' she whispered, her words sticking to her throat as they choked her soul. The intimacy bound her chest, wrapping around her lungs as the smoke filled them. She loved every minute of their destruction. The thin plume of grey gently rolled from between her lips, words tumbling in their trail. 'Imagining the world has stopped.' He too felt his heart stop as the word clipped. Suffocated, he searched for something, anything that would bring her back to him. He needed her to bring his pulse poundiijg back to his ears. 'It's three a.m., there's too much noise, don't you people ever want to go to bed?' His lack of foresight scratched her; he knew she expected eloquence that she knew he no longer possessed. 'Here comes your nineteen thirties breakdown' she laughed, the words tumbling over his sentence without thought. She knew to mock the nerves that wracked him inside. 'You're a fool to cry.' He burrowed himself deeper, subordinating to the darkness of their too casual embrace. His heart was still to return, desperate for her to draw him in to their obscurity, wrap him in the sticlgf darkness of her world. 'Still I'm going to miss you' he offered, trying to coax her reaction. He meant every word. He wasn't ready to lose her; he never was. Motionless, her lips slowly moved as if separate from her face. She told him his fate. 'I'm going to tell you how it's going to be, you're going to give your love to me.' The blood rushed to his cheeks, his chest; his groin. He had known what it had meant to love her, but knew the signs of her parting call. She had collected what she wanted. A breeze swept over the covers, reality awakening their haze. She lifted herself from the bed as if she were levitating, floating above and away beyond his grasp. He watched with avid fascination as she carelessly dressed, stepping through the open door as she finally slid her shirt over her head. 'She comes and goes,' he repeated in his mind, restraining the mantra as it peaked to topple in to speech. He felt the beating grow within him, burning like a red coal carpet. He loved her secrets, the eternal inequality that drew him in and let her thrive. 'She would never say where she came from.' pARte * ?i. ? * *!?!**** *»?* ?¦ ?ji, ***? ***^ *1* * ** ?V **i* *W ***? *. * t** ?»* I** ^ ifc ^ A *%!***/* ¦i* ? ? it ? t.*t* A* «*? ** * ? jlT** ?** * ;* jit ^ 3ft * ???* .»•»* ?*?» »*I ?.*» **?* ??vJ* 3(t. *j. ? ;v4 * * K* 1L* **/ * V ***? * * ? * * ? ???? i4e 3(K « * * J*'-* * 1 9l( 1*1* V# ^ * ? •A" -Jr •A' A ?*.*»*?. **? ? ¦***» *>I ^ 3k 4s jk ik 3k ^ **1*1*1*Z* ? if***** * discuss artistic integrity and whether dick cheney still is a dick with julianboys There was a time when good bands made money. The Rock 'n' Roll archives abound with tired cliches about over-indulgence as bands found themselves wallowing in mountains of money and drugs off the back of a half decent album. Admittedly, that's one end of the spectrum, and more recently the image of bands scratching a living by touring constantly has become more common. Still, you'd expect a band as critically acclaimed as Brakes to have gone up in the world a bit, perhaps from the back of their van to a bedsit in Stockwell. After all, in 2005 Steve Lamacq gave them 5 stars out of 5 for their first album. Give Blood, in the then influential Observer Music Monthly, and Rough Trade made it their album of the year. This was followed in 2006 by The Beatific Visions, given 9/10 by Drowned in Sound. Both albums were brilliant mish-mashes of countless iilfluences, from country to punk, but all with an accessible pop sheen which makes it surprising they aren't better knowm. When partB chatted to lead singer Eamon Hamilton just before they started touring for their third record, he explained how the music industry's ongoing crisis at the hands of the internet is being compounded by the wider recession to make life difficult for four-piece indie bands. "We came to an end of our Rough Trade contract, and they couldn't offer us another record because of the credit crunch basically," he said. Fat Cat records snapped them up after Rough Trade dropped them, a label based in Brakes' hometown of Brighton, which has recently re- leased records by Frightened Rabbit and Haus-chka. "Fat Cat really surprised us, we love their output so when they offered us a deal we were like, 'hell yeah!'" The result is Brakes' new album, Touchdown, to be released in April this year. From the tracks leaked on the internet it will please old fans, with new song 'Hey Hey' echoing the big riffs and sin- "We've neveif really tried to forge a somid. or be defined by a sound." galong chorus of 'Cease and Desist'. But Brakes' appeal lies in the variety of their songwriting, and new song 'Oh Forever' sees the band taking a Jesus and Mary Chain-esque turn into fuzzy, distorted tefritoiy. "I wanted to write a romantic song about staying under the duvet. I recorded it in Garage-Band first and put echo and reverb on the vocals, it sounded awesome. You couldn't make out what the hell I was saying!" For better or worse, the album as a whole isn't a Magnetic Fields style homage to JAMC though. "Every song on the album sounds quite different, which we're really pleased about, it's really diverse. We've never really tried to forge a sound, or be defined by a sound" Although a lot of bands might make such claims, its rarely as obviously true as with Brakes. On their first album, a cover of Johnny Cash and June Carter's 'Jackson' sits comfortably alongside an 8 second thrashy punk interlude with lyrics "Cheney, Cheney, stop being such a Dick!" "Songs like 'Cheney' aren't really appropriate any more. He's still alive and I'm sure he still is a dick, but he's not got any influence, y'know?" George W Bush's presidency, despite the many controversies, drew little response in the world of pop music. iBands tended to shy away from addressing political issues, and Brakes' calling Dick Cheney a dick is hardly a rousing protest song - more aimed at raising a laugh than awareness. The question on everyone's lips of course, is what effect will Obama's time in office have on indie music? "I hope it'll up the ante in terms of songwriting - having someone inspirational in power who can write and speak better than I can is bound to be positive. With Bush it was like, y'know, I could do better than this!" Whereas politics was a lyrical theme on previous records, economics seems to have come to the fore on their new album. "We were recording as the banks were collapsing", proclaimed Eamon dramatically, "So I think that influenced us a lot. "I went £4 over my overdraft at Lloyds and they charged me £75! I was flicking angry, so I PfKTD * ? fe rt !? it.«!>5Y h' wrote a song about it, called 'Why Tell The Truth When It's Easier To Lie'. Then, a few days later, they were nationalised so I practically own them! I was laughing my arse off." A band writing about such matters might have seemed contrived a few years ago, but the current crisis is forcing people who usually have better things to do to engage with our dismal science. Since before it all kicked off though, small "Yott can't fiicldng eat critical acclaim! Five stars? I can't taste that!" bands were already having to think of innovative ways of making their passion for music financially sustainable, with record sales bringing virtually no income and legal downloads not making up the difference. Allowing a song be used for a TV program or an advert would at one time have led to an artist being seen as money grabbing sellouts. But Eamon was unrepentant about letting Brakes' song 'All Night Disco Party' be used in US TV show 'Ugly Betty'. "For the last 3 years I earned so little that I didn't pay any tax. I'm quite pleased, y'know, tax free! But it's difficult to survive on that amount of money. So if someone says, 'Here, you can have some money for your music', fuck yeah, bring it on! You can't fucking eat critical acclaim! Five stars? I can't taste that!" Does this mean that artistic integrity is an outdated concept? "Yes, because people download stuff for free. If you want to keep an artist going to high morals then buy records and never download anything. If you download music for free, you've lost the right to criticise bands..." This is an unusual standpoint and seems at first glance like a vety cynical one. However the idea of artistic integrity involves sticking to guiding principles, so unless an artist clearly states that they disapprove of the use of their work for commercial purposes, fans shouldn't have a problem. ThankfiiUy such lofty concerns were a distant memory when Brakes took to the stage later that evening, with Eamon bizarrely kitted out in a shiny silver space-suit and appropriately introduced by the guitarist as a 'metallic bald alien'. They launched into 'All Night Disco Party' to ease people into the set with a familiar tune, but also perhaps to get their best known song out of the way to allow the audience to enjoy the new material without a diz^ anticipation of the Hit. It is just that, a breathy electro build up to a crashing chorus with typically nonsensical lyrics of "croque monsieur, croque madame". Their shouty punk classic "Porcupine or Pineapple" stood out, lines like "Who won the war, what the fiick was it for" managing to avoid coming across as cringewor- thy by the utter ridiculousness of the other lyrics I -political comment for the Mighty Boosh gen- [ eration. Only four new songs made it into what I was a weirdly short set for a 'comeback' show, by I far the highlight being 'Oh Forever', which built I up tenderly to a heartfelt crescendo. The sincer-1 ity displayed on that song was short-lived, with I 'Cheney' getting played twice, though 'stop being | such a Dick!' was replaced by 'Good Bye!'. The] "We were recording as the banks were collapsing. so 1 think that influenced us a lot." time limit to their set, presumably imposed by I the venue, prevented them playing some of the [ brilliant songs off their second album like 'Hold I me in the River' or Cease and Desist', but it was | nonetheless a raucously entertaining mix demonstrating their versatility and wit. V^en their album comes out in April I'll be first in line, waving I a crisp tenner, to swell their deserving but hollow | coffers. Brakes'forthcoming album. Touchdown, is rehash on 20 April, onFat Cat Records, , ;i^ii -y. : siJa^ . 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' emotion in 4 paWlic 8p4cej (ft^es ilspUj It. (L%%p it Ue i&ntil the iii>ek.%iik| hi cot&nti^ 4iii hitatv ^ "-*,1 PARTD they call her csMlh^druce (that is her name) What more relevant theme for this article than tomorrow's award show specifically designed to celebrate the best of British music? I thought my job was pretty much done for me, but it turns out the Brit Awards nominees this year are a not much of a reflection of "the best of British" and to be quite honest, in some cases, an even worse representation of the word "music". I thought the "British Breakthrough Act" would surely be one of the most exciting awards of the night. I was going to review the bands and take the Brit awards' prompt to celebrate the talent of a whole load of really great new British music. Alas, The Ting Tings seem to have made the cut. And so have Scouting for Girls. I object. These bands may nestle perfectly between the other abrasive one-hit-wonders on Radio i, but I just can't see them as serious contenders for the best new British music of 2008/2009. I have to affirm, I haven't read whatever rules are in place that may have let The Ting Tings slip through the net and I'm not really sure what counts as relevant for this category in 2008/2009, the rules seem unclear (after all in 1999 Belle and Sebastian did win this category for 'new' music having already released three ^bums). But I do still wonder whether the nomination for Friendly Fires, Laura Marling and Foals got lost in the post. There's such a varied field of new and mainstream British music around, I think we could do better than the God-awful Ting Tings. Does anyone really like this sort-of forced poppy crap? I feel a bit disappointed that the nominators seem to have just tuned into an average dajftime radio show to find out what the kids are listening to nowadays instead of having a good rummage around and recognising some great new British acts. Thank goodness, maybe one of these nomi- nations are in the right place; Adele's genre of heartbroken soul shows one of Britain's most promising new talents for song-writing with complicated and beautiful arrangements, (that jar somewhat with The Ting Tings' neanderthal-simpleton tracks) all packed into an album that I thought was, surprisingly, truly good. I would really like to redeem my Ting Tings related negativity by praising the other liominees, but I just can't think of anything to say; Du£fy and the Last Shadow Puppets are just monotonous middling average; nothing special. It's a real shame that the Brit Awards have missed the boat on celebrating some fantastic new British talent. They have once again just picked the unspectacular and unremarkable rubbish that's lining HMV stores across the country instead of recognizing the sort of "oh-I-love-this-song, who's-this-by-again?" band that truly deserve it. "Keane?Don 'tget me started. They just need to leave the music industry, immediately, and become accountants. They're the kind of band who think a cocaine addiction is an interesting lifestyle choice to brag about to their Jack Wills-wearing chums." mi sachinpatel reviews li^'s new single Is it a cover of Ian Brown's most famous post-Stone Roses song? Is it instead a re-imagining of the notoriously chilling opener from Pulp's This Is Hardcore LP? No, it's Lily Allen's return to the world of pop, following what seems like ah eternity of lounging in the middle pages of The London Paper and almost every page of gossip magazines. From the perspective of a relative outsider to Ms. Allen's oeuvre, the first thing I notice about "The Fear" is that it takes only ten seconds for her ...... to utter the first expletive - "I want fuck loads of diamonds" - before the heart- melting guitar intro gives way to echoey ' " ^ stabs of icy synths and a fairly elastic bass-line. Musi-cally, the song sounds like a cross between Aru/ar-era M.I.A. and a Goldfrapp off-cut, which isn't terrible, but is considerably less exciting than either of these influences' individual material. Lyrically, meanwhile, it seems that everyone's favourite teenage tearaway is on some sort of health crusade, rallying against the press hounds who have criticised her . for her well-publicised battles with dieting - "I'll take my % clothes off and it will be shameless / 'Cuz everyone knows that's how you get famous" and "I am a weapon of massive consumption" are pretty much the only vaguely meaningful lines in the entire song. Quite what the abstract Fear has to do with her body issues is left unclear, washed away by oblique references to illegal wars and men fighting. I thought her music was supposed to sound like the love-child of The Specials and The Streets, no? Ah, it appears that she's "matured". Thanks, love, but I'll leave her on the shelf to mature a bit longer. pmtD Misic n nathanbriant tells you The post-punk era of music (the bit between the late 1970s and early 1980s) was the most fruitful era for pop music in the 20th century, and only second in influence to the 1960s. Seriously. Extraordinary albums, such as Magazine's Real Life, Elvis Costello & Ilie Attractions' This Year's Model and Wire's Pink Flag were all spawned during this era in the UK alone. Punk had kind of boiled over, and people were getting into more sophisticated stuff than merely shouting, moaning and groaning; unsung legends, such as Wilko Johnson, were back in vogue. Alleluia! Gang of Four released their debut album (and true masterpiece) Entertainment! in 1979, and were one of the brightest stars of this era. Like Joy Division - but without the depressed front man - they had serious groove. Although they released three albums after this in the 1980s, (and two, after a long hiatus, in the 1990s) only 1981's Solid Gold and parts of the patchy, shoulder-pad influenced Songs of the Free vaguely live up to Entertainment!'s brilliance. One of the best things about Gang of Four is the space that they allow their instruments. It was facilitated by the band's lead singer, Jon King and guitarist, Andy Gill, choosing to produce their album themselves - an inspired move. The chief example of this is the last song on Entertainment!, 'Anthrax'. One and a half minutes of guitar feedback followed by a ridiculously simple bass line and spoken lyrics have never been so stirring. ('Love will catch you like a case of Anthrax/and that's something I don't want to catch'). The epitome of much of the post-punk era, sparseness was the key to a truly unique and exceptional sound; Gang of Four were the true architects and masters of this. But one thing that truly draws them away from their con -temporaries is their lyrics. The band weren't scared of taking risks: many of their lyrics are based around highly politicised situations; King was deeply interested in Marxism so this is unsurprising (that said, the political influence on their songs. according to recent interviews, has probably been overplayed a little). 'It's Her Factory' - "suffering from sufftage" and 'Natural's Not In It' - ."the problem of leisure/what to do for pleasure/I do love a new purchase/a market of the senses" are just two exceptionally thoughtful examples. Certainly an undoubted progression on 'God Save The Queen"s opening gambit. Plus, 'I Love a Man in Uniform' was banned during the FaJklands War. (That may have said something about the questionable legitimacy of the war and tiie war's subsequent course, but there we go.) That was merely a whistle-stop tour, but if you let this band into your life, you'll never want them out. Gang of Four aren't for the light hearted,or for the Thatcherites amongst us. But for any self-respecting music fan they are a must. You don't need to agree with their lyrics, necessarily - just accept that they have some of the sharpest lyrics about - with one of the most talented and un- seen. \zhan-r, zha"-; zha"r; jan-r\noun. In a themeless, general issue partB thought it'd be a laugh to pretentiously genre-classify this load of common or garden bands (no house or garage though). COLOPLAV Post Tuesday afternoon wine whine WHSmith FLEET FOXES Sunset-drunk nostalgic rusty revival folk-rock PINK FLOYD Astronomicalismism APHEXTWIN Plugging psychopaths into synths torturelectro_ ANIMAL COLLECTIVE Too many Indian sweets freak-folk NEVER MIND THE BOLLOCKS NEM'S THE SEX PISTOLS Tweenybop throwing-toys-outta-the-pram post Iggy anger W BEATLES Post-Elvis fallout pop BONIVER Nouveau snow-falling-off-trees in-midwinter-night folk_ 12 JOIIUIEYS PflRTD graemebirrell goes mad for the Caspian sea There's only really one reason most people go to Azerbaijan. Oil. It's a pretty poor country, with little in the way of any formal tourist infrastructure, living standards, or much to do. As a Westerner, you can't really walk the streets very safely, nor can you find basics like processed cheese or meat very easily, and there is only one hotel and one restaurant in the country that you could reasonably consider as worth going out for. But that's not to say it's a bad place to be. Like most places in the world - and especially countries with economies "in transition" - if you're willing to spend a little time and effort looking around with an open mind, Azerbaijan does have a lot of history, countryside, and hidden gems to offer those fortunate/unlucky enough to have parents working for BP or Schlumberger who get sent here. When my family first arrived in Baku - the I sprawling and dusty capital on the Caspian Sea - it was a bit corrupt. Gambling and casinos had recently been outlawed in Baku when 1 got there in 1999, reportedly because the President's son had been squandering a bit too much money. And bars in the : city had a predetermined length | ofbarsetbylaw- conveniently ; coinciding with the exact and [ obscure length of the bars the ; furniture company owned by; the President's brother ran and ' monopolistically produced. But i this was to be expected from a : countiy that had only regained | its independence after the col- | lapse of the Soviet Union about i a decade earlier. The hangover: from the years of USSR occupation really did show in Azer-; baijan - during the '80s it had become one of the real centres i for biochemical and petroleum production for Moscow, and the remnants of giant hollow chemical plants now litter the coast of the Caspian. They are entirely responsible for the city of Sumgayit frequently being listed as one of the most polluted places in the world today. However, since leaving the country a couple of years ago, it has begun to seriously improve, mainly under the guidance of the highly influential and driven democratic mayor of Baku - infrastructure and roads have had huge amounts of funding pushed upon them, and the historic centre of the city - which dates back to Persian times - has seen serious steps towards high levels of protection and development into a tourist zone. But what's it actually like to be there, living as a British ex-patriate? Well, life was surprisingly superficial and a little obscure. The majority of expats were Americans and as such, Americans had built the community they inhabited on the outskirts of Baku. Sometime during the nineties a Canadian company had been hired by the Western oil companies to go to Azerbaijan and build a whole town for aO the oil workers living there. What was built turned out to be a 'mock US suburb' where rows of pristine white homes sat side by side with perfect trimmed grass, flowerbeds, and driveways with basketball hoops in them. The school built down the road was a perfect representation of any American middle school and was filled with American teachers to match. This entire town was completely encircled by a tall metal fence, and patrolled by security guards with pistols, vety clearly separating 'us' from 'them,' the crumbling grey city only a few hundred yards away. I often looked out of my bedroom window to see wild dogs chasing poor children scavenging through rubbish and scraps in the barren land between the city and us. Some people who lived here never left, except to be driven by their personal drivers in SUVs to the' oil companies' offices - evetyone had maids to do their shopping, US cable TV and the internet to keep them amused. And I always thought this was quite sad - luckily my family has something of a sense of adventure, and loved being taken into the wilderness of the countty by our driver, Vasif. • A really patriotic and knowledgeable Azeri, Vasif used to tell us that he had no plans for the weekend, and ask if he could take us somewhere exciting, perhaps? My dad usually said 'yes' to ev- ety opportunity, and as such most weekends would consist of waking up at 5am to be whisked off to some remote part of the country to see something ridiculous. One time Vasif took us to Iran (which shares Azerbaijan's southern border) but we weren't allowed in, so we bought a carpet instead. And one time he took us on a two-hour walk up a hill where there wasn't much except a man trying (unsuccessfully) to tame a snake by hitting it with a stick whilst in a box. This is the kind of crazy stuff I got up to in Azerbaijan, and evety minute was a ridiculous adventure. Of all the cool shit I've seen in my life, a lot of it was in Azerbaijan. One of the most amazing things was a hUl that is permanently on fire. This is because the rock that contains aU the gas and oU that makes Azerbaijan so attractive to oil companies extends from under the Caspian Sea to the coast near Baku, specifically at the tip of the Absheron Peninsula. Here, the rock has been lifted by earthquakes so that it is visible. And since it contains natural gases that seep gently out of its pores, it's constantly on fire. It looks amazing - sort of like a normal hiU, but on fire. But what got me the most was the group of Azeri men drinking tea at the bot- tom of the hill - metres away from the fire and not even pa3ang it the slightest attention. One of them tried to tell me that it was the original 'burning bush' that Moses saw in the Bible, but I think he was bullshitting. Another amazing natural feature was unceremoniously called the 'mud volcanoes.' This place is where the same natural gas from the burning hill seeps out a bit deeper under ground and, as it occurs, manages to bubble through a pool of molten mud and earth just before hitting the surface. The result is a series of what look like anthills in a big dried lake-bed, which spray mud at you and constantly 'erupt' this mud like a volcano. In America this place would have a million tourists swarming the place with cameras, and a thousand gift shops selling plastic models of the volcanoes, but here in the nothingness of the ex-Soviet Union, I never saw another person. Except for the small table with a couple Azeri dudes drinking tea. Baku, the capital was a pretty crazy place too. Not somewhere you'd want to go without an Azeri friend or two, it was a bit mad. Like most Igood third-world countries you could buy all sorts of fake Gucci and D&G crap for a fiver. But you could also buy absolutely any CD or DVD ever, made to order, in a shop that specialised in burning illegal entertainment, or a small glass of Coca Cola for 2p from some lady with a bottle in the town centre. The McDonald's there claimed it would accept any currency for a burger - so we used to get overly delighted at trying to pay simultaneously in US and Canadian Dollars, and Pounds to see if they could handle it. But the best thing of all was that fresh caviar cost about a quid for a jam jar. Because sturgeon (from which caviar is extracted) is native to the Caspian, caviar has little value to the locals, who spread it on toast for breakfast. This is what kind of mad and wonderful place Azerbaijan was to live. And yet I always found it a bit strange and sad when other ex-pats living around me would describe their weekends as sitting in front of the TV or playing N64 for twenty-four hours straight. I loved Azerbaijan and everything it had to offer - amazing places, people, and things to do, and I wouldn't change my experiences there for anything. I couldn't believe that other people from the West would come to such an amazing place and simply disregard it as boring and dusty, preferring to live their lives in faux-comfort and closed-mindedness. In truth, it probably sparked my love for travelling, exploring, and generally getting excited about the world, and thus is probably the reason I am sitting here as Journeys Editor. So thanks Azerbaijan!_ 1 PARTD THEATRE 13 sachinpatel witnesses a troubled man in troubled times Last week I was fortunate enough to visit the Donmar Warehouse in Covent Garden, to catch a performance of Be Near Me, adapted for the stage by, and starring, Ian McDiarmid from the 2006 novel by Andrew O'Hagan. Though I have yet to read the original work, there was a keenly-felt impression that McDiarmid's adaptation, which sees the Oxford-educated Father David pitted against the desperate population of a small Ayrshire parish, is faiAfUl to the dual concerns of the novel - the predictably tense conflict between a snobbish aesthete and a predominantly unemployed and broken community, and the internal torture of a soul still haunted by the past, and tempted in the present by vulnerable prey. The unsettling undercurrent of the play - offset on occasion by strangely stilted, chilling humour - is intensely apparent from the very off, as a quasi-chorus takes the stage to the sound of dissonant, atonal wailing before breaking into various IRA and Orange anthems, lending the piece a far-reaching social and political angst. . Against this bleak, hostile and almost-abandoned landscape emerges David Anderton, formerly a student of Balliol College, Oxford, and seemingly more interested in French wine and classical music than in his parishionerS:.Under-standably, Aere is a gulf of culture and experience between the Father and the community - he feels they are too naive to grasp and enjoy his cultural palette (with the exception of his highly literate and cultured housekeeper, Mrs. Poole); they feel that he lacks real-world experience, and that his sheltered life has left him unprepared for the hardships faced by the community in which he now finds himself. Be Near Me consists of a series of volatile encounters between its constituent characters, and the fractuous atmosphere in its key scenes are all the more anxiety-ridden due to the staging of the play. Unconstrained by the proscenium or even an elevated stage, characters instead intrude upon the audience with uneasy steps, or are bound up in old school-room chairs. When they are unleashed from these chairs, their pent-up frustration is manifested in violent outbursts in the local dialect. The recurring repositioning of a Persian rug emphasises the barrier between Father David and the locals, while the continual presence of an elaborate chandelier, hanging overbearingly over the proceedings, reminds us of the protagonist's inability to forget the past. When, halfway through the play, it is finally sent crashing onto the rug, Ae audience must surely share Father David's considerable sadness at the eventual corruption of all beauty. Amidst this fa(;ade of aesthetic passion on his part, and puzzled abandonment on that of the local community. Father David finds solace in two unlikely figures - a pair of fifteen-year old tearaways, sent down to the difficult-children class that he takes at the local secondary school. In particular, his relationship with the boy, Mark, quickly takes on a suggestively unnatural significance. Through the carefiil use of props and timing, we feel as if Father David and Mark are almost touching each other through the invisible barriers of parallel worlds. As the Father becomes increasingly removed from the concerns of the locals - which culminates in a fractuous dinner party where his political allegiances and beliefs are questioned and found wanting in the eyes of the Lord - his relationship with Mark takes on a distinctly hedonistic facet, which is depicted in an uncomfortable style at the close of the first act. His reputation soiled. Father David's past now catches up with him, and, whilst being tugged by the emotional coaxing of his mother, a populist author, and tiie raw anger and sadness of his housekeeper, the play reaches a thoroughly uncertain ending that leads the audience to question our own allegiances, and to question the true emotional currency of the scenes we have witnessed. As the play progresses, we gain an understanding of this corrupted beauty; of emotional and cultural concerns that are best left uncovered; of familial ties ^, that are tested by the harshness of the environment and the prevailing societal situation. Again, the parallels with the Troubles add great emotional depth to the play, suggesting that our wider concerns are often internalised too. Throughout, both lead and peripheral roles alike are played out in a convincing style. McDiarmid reflects just the right proportion of pretension, intelligence, foolhardiness and creepiness to remain a confiising character throughout the duration. Richard Madden, who plays Mark, the 15-year old victim-cum-hair-raiser, is equally unsettling: his taste for alcohol and narcotics is juxtaposed with a curious interest for social issues and deeper concerns, which does well to confuse the audience again - how much is he the victim; and how much is he the perpetrator of the crimes levelled against Father David? It was a masterful achievement of dramatic tension and frosty emotional secrets; Be Near Me is a serious play tackling serious emotional and social themes, and, far from lending its events a sense of ridicule or melodrama, the piece is understated to good effect. Catch it at the Donmar Warehouse before the 14 March, when it will be subsumed into the Atlantic just like the broken community of the parish. Image credit: M. Harlan TV PflRTB willmcmahon invites you to a visual feast Over the years, I've invested myself in a number of TV shows and while most of them were a decent watch, I've never really felt that I would be comfortable settling down with any of them. But this all changed the day I found Come Dine With Me. Come Dine With Me is simply the perfect show. If ever you were looking for a TV show that had everything, then look no further. The premise of the show is simple; four random people who have never met before volunteer to hold dinner parties for each other during the course of one week. Each night after the party, in their taxis home, the guests secretly rate the dinner with a score out of ten. After each night the scores are combined to get a total for each person. The host with the highest score at the end of the week wins the prize of £1000. Simple right? Wrong. Each show offers us a host (get it?) of human emotions to feast (I can't stop myself) upon. In almost every one of the shows we see guests trading saccharin pleasantries but as soon as they are away from the other diners they bare their teeth. It's almost surprising not to see the guests bitching about each other as soon as they get a moment to themselves. The people selected each week , aren't even that odd either. It doesn't feel ; like Channel 4 has done a Wife Swap / on us here and just > stuck absolute freaks in a house. , These are normal ; people; but more often than not ; they manage to fall ^ out. Put £1000 into the mix and watch everyone show their true colours. The scores they give at the end of each night generally sum up how meretricious the guests are - more than often are the words, "A great night, couldn't fault it. I award them a 7" uttered. What always puzzles me though is how they don't want the others to know what they think of them yet they are willing to voice their opinions on television. This show possesses the drama of Big Brother but with regular people, without the social stigma. Dave Lamb narrates the show, adding sarcastic jibes whenever necessary (which is all too often). When someone makes fried shrimp with "Marie Rose" sauce (a subtle blend of ketchup and mayonnaise) then I think I'd feel quite hard done by if I didn't have Dave Lamb there to criticise them in front of the nation. This show is actually incredibly educational. It's not just the cooking. This show critically examines human psychology and even goes so far as to explore the different cultures present within the British Isles. In terms of cooking, this show is better than any other; there are recipes which are simple, recipes which are complex and recipes which are just right. On top of that, the diners actually give decent reviews instead of us having to assume that evei3^ing that Jamie Oliver cooks tastes good (it doesn't). So within the programme you can find recipes which suit any occasion; be it braised pork belly with gnocchi, crushed peas with mint and a madeira sauce (that's actually one of my own, I'm saving it for if I ever go on the show) or tuna, kidney beans and mayo mixed in a bowl with some chopped onion (recipes are available on the Channel 4 website). It's quite nice to watch TV cooks that don't say, "pukl