TTTrnfviiini^ " " " First Published May 5th, 1949 13rEJ 2001 fj Sg- "SSffi" Monday 15th January , 2001 issue 530 The Newspaper of the LSESU Library Good^ Food Crap: The LSE speaks Anna Foster In February and March last year the opinion research specialists MORI were commissioned by the school to report on the current status of the LSE. Completed by staff, alumni, directors of companies, education journalists, personnel directors, schoolteachers and most students it sought to evaluate LSE's current status, public image, strengths and weaknesses. Whilst only 540 students filled out questionnaires (that's a disappointing 33%), the results were taken seriously by the school and action groups have been set up to target and improve areas which were highlighted by the survey as problematic. So what do the students really think? Does the Brunch bowl wet your culinary appetite? Does the gent's toilet in the old building really resemble that toilet in "Trainspotting"? Did anyone actually notice that "PizzaBurger" had been turned into offices? Academic facilities rated most highly were the library opening hours with 81%, yet the availability of course books was poor with only 35% saying that they were satisfied. Frequency of lectures was also thought of favourably (70%), however only three in ten (28%) rate the quality of classes and seminars as good. Lee Federman, on behalf of the student experience working group, speaking about students academic experience said: "A priority of the Union this year been to develop the teaching and learning experience - this involves investing heavily in teacher training and reducing staff-student ratios. This needs to be a priority for the school -teaching should not continue to subsidise research to such an extent." The facilities of the LSE had, not surprisingly, a less positive result. Whilst 91% of those surveyed thought that the location of the LSE was good, only 17% LSE Report Card; Must do better thought that the LSE buildings were in good condition. Similarly LSE sports and fitness facilities were again only thought of as good by 17% of students. Bottom of the list were the availability of scholarships with only 12% answering most favourably. As for the catering facilities, the Union Cafe was rated as top, with the Robinson room coming a close second. Unsurprisingly the Brunch Bowl was voted as poor by 37% of students surveyed, what is also interesting to note here is that it is also the most used catering facility with only 8% of students having never used it. Does this mean that students stomachs are suffering in silence? Lee Federman commented, "Many of the recommendations look to be 'real possibilities - refurbishments are certainly needed in the St. Phillips Building and the Brunch Bowl, both of which fit nicely into the school's priorities for the next two years. LSE's reputation should match its campus". Of pastoral care within the school, students felt that whilst tutors and supervisors were available in their office hours (83%), were approachable (75%) and knew their subject well (72%), only 23% felt that they were helping them with personal issues and problems. The general secretary, on behalf on" the student working group said "Students reported a patchy experience across the board. It is clear that students value to one-to-one contact and in many cases they are not receiving it. Students should not be given misguided information on the level of service they should expect to receive". The Student Experience Working Group, chaired by Lee Federman, was set up to put forward recommendations drawn form the survey, on how to improve students experience of life at the LSE. So what improvements can students look forward to seeing over the coming months? Among the key recommendations of the group, the following were highlighted as urgent concerns; Training for tutors and the introduction of a method for monitoring its quality. More resources for teacher training and more reward for those undertaking it. Greater use of the web for providing students with the latest information on their courses, particularly the posting of lecture note on the Internet. Improving the environment of the Brunch bowl and finally, the refurbishment of .those long term sub-standard areas of the school. There is then a serious message hidden amongst all these statistics, particularly in light of the recent threat of top up fees, as fee paying students we should receive quality of service. Whether undergraduate, postgraduate, home or overseas students we all have the right to demand value for money and it seems that the SU is doing its best to ensure that we receive it. Mind the Gap Mark Ready Taking a gap year? Whether you hope when you end your degree to emulate Prince Willy's beneficent activities in an isolated Peruvian village, or simply to indulge your complete hedonism in places you can leave forever the next day, bear these helpful hints from Mark Ready in mind. Purpose; unless you're searching for the world's most licentious lifestyle ever, a plan tends to help. You don't have to lose the spontaneity of deciding not to travel into areas recently engulfed in civil strife or going for meals with strange people. But do have some idea about why you want to go to the countries you have chosen. Particularly after university, connections between your interests or your career plans and your destination are profitable. 1 went to Nepal thinking that teaching English would be 'charidable'. I dismissed considerations that so few of the students would find English exciting and that few of 'excited' ones would ever be good enough to use their new language skills. I could have chosen something more worthwhile. Comfort: remember that many people have different expectations about the hygiene and environment than many Westerners" sterile and senseless environments. Water is an obvious problem. Teaching seems even more onerous when the purifier-resistant water gives you 'bowel movements' like earthquakes. Some medicines are health hazards in themselves; I wolfed down far too many carcinogenic pills for giardia. Furthermore, I shalln't be having chemotherapy in Nepal. One of the best tiospitals is called the Beer hospital, a coincidental but somehow appropriate comment on the standard of Nepali health care. Much of Nepal stank of rotting vegetable matter and worse, and, Continued Page 3 continued from Front Page E-mail the editor: C.D.Wills@lse.ac.uk News TTieBeaver Issue 530 - Jan 15th 2001 Wrinklies Fight For Their Right To Party Julia Giese Lite at LSE could soon be changing for the self-proclaimed '¡öold fogies' who play such a quiet part in our studies. l\/lature students make up the rich tapestry of LSE life and yet amongst their number their is a strong feeling that they have been for too long ignored, and now they're fighting back. A push for greater socialising among the senior members of our the student body is being coordinated by Carole Bonner, the SU [\/lature & Part-Time Officer, who is forming a general campaingn to get mature students to play an increasingly active role in the Union. The campaign focuses on establishing links between the mature and part-time students who seem to find it hard to get in touch with their lot. "It's good to know there are other mature and part time students at LSE. It does seem a pretty young crowd!" was one student's reaction to the e-mail introducing the new approach. Such positive feed-back has led Carole to move towards the creation of a mailing list of all mature students and organise drop in sessions and forums for them. Here, the more special needs and interests of mature and part-time students can be discussed, e.g. "the problem with trying to run a life (not to mention job) and a degree". Moreover, a mature students' society is in the process of being set up and attempts are made to establish common room, Carole indicated. She also told us: "I have a small group of people willing to help organise events and we have provisionally said we would like to have an evening social event around the end of Jan." "I fit in your description of 'mature student' (it's terrible to accept, but it's true)", one mature student commented. "I indeed feel concerned about being the veteran in my class, so I definitely would like to get in touch with other veterans." This statement alone shows that these older generation learning at LSE too often feel ignored and intolerated by the rest of the student body. "I certainly feel as though the LSE is not really set up for either mature or part-time students." Such feed-back has led Caroleto discuss addressing the issue of the social exclusion of these people during the Student Union's equalities week. However, the campaign does not end with those more serious matters. "We also have plans to have a pub crawl around the pubs in the area and our small group is going to have a practice run to plan the route soon", says Carole. To help students with children participate in evening activities she also wants to be able to offer payment of babysitting expenses. The positive responses to Carole's campaign give hope that it will not just be a one-day event: "Thank you for your initiative: it's a good idea and I look fon/vard to meeting you and all the other wrinklies." Whoever said mature students were past it? A solitary life for LSE mature and part-time students Pic: Archives surveys - should we mail it? Louise Proudlove Education & Welfare Officer_ Teaching quality questionnaires -how do you feel about a compulsory on-line version? Not exactly a thrilling topic, I'll admit, but the questionnaires you currently fill in during class time about how you rate your various teachers are your main opportunity to let the school know how satisfied you are with teaching standards. Over the last few months LSE's Teaching Quality Assurance Committee has been reviewing the way these questionnaires are carried out. In the past, teachers and students alike have indicated that they would rather not waste valuable teaching time on filling them in. Instead, the suggestion is that the entire process should be done on-line, with questionnaires emailed to everyone's individual account for completion. However, on-line trials show that the response rate is not high enough (less than 30%) and the idea of the Committee is to make filling in the on-line version of the questionnaire compulsory. After an initial period (probably three weeks) you would be unable to send external mail from your account until you had filled the questionnaire in - in the same way that you email account is blocked from sending external mail if your mailbox size is over its limit. But what do you think? Do you value your right to have your say enough to put your email account if you fail to fill in your questionnaire? I know what I think - that the opportunity to have your say is precious, and I would much rather fill in a questionnaire in my own time than in a rush during a class - but I'm not just here to represent my own opinion. I need your opinions on this one, if I'm going to be able to do a proper job of representing you. So on this issue, or any other... Email me! su.edwelfare@lse.ac.uk Come and see me! E299, 10am-12noon daily Or just stop me in the street and rant at me! The end of hand jobs? Pic: Archives Busy New Term News Team Resignations and Union Council Over the Christmas vacation, two resignations from the Union Council were received. Anna McElligot (Environment and Services) and Laura Taborn (Equal Opportunities-female) will be standing down. These two posts will be contested in a special Union Council on Tuesday 23rd January at 1pm in the Old Theatre. Anyone wishing to stand should prepare a manifesto and pick up a nomination form from the Union Reception (East Building) by 5pm on Thurday 18th January. Fee Fighters The formidable Fee Fighters campaign will get truly underway this term. It is expected that the Human Chain (see exclusive report in next week's issue) will see the spirit of protest truly returning to LSE. The Human Chain will be accompanied by the Fees Carnival which is scheduled to take place on Wednesday 17th January at 12pm in Houghton Street. UGM line-up The provisional schedule for the UGM is as follows: 18th Jan: Scott Rice- ULU President 25th Jan: Elections for Environment and Services Officer and Equal Opportunities (female) Officer- 1st Feb: Michael Kelly - LSE Alumnus 15th Feb: Valentines UGM 22nd Feb: LSE Elections Hustings 1st March:ULU Elections Hustings 8th March: Acting Director-Steven Hill 15th March: Annual General Meeting The UGM takes place on Thursdays at 1pm in the Old Theatre. If you've never been before, don't miss this unique opportunity to be part of the democracy in action at the LSE. Debate and Forum Also taking place this week was the 'Should LSE Merge with Imperial' debate featuring the president of Imperial Colleges Student's Union. The World Economic Forum held a recruitment presentation at the LSE this Monday. To learn more about them, visit their website at www.weforum.org/careers. News Fill your boots boys! LSE Grads set to rake it in Issue 530 - ion 1,5th 2001 i pogeSi lain Bundred and Laura Hales, News Editors According to a new poll today's graduates are a powerful, demanding group who are holding employers to ransom in order to fulfil their expectations. A survey of over 2,000 final year students found that 7% of graduates now expect a 'golden hello' and 1 in 5 who received a job offer felt sufficiently confident to turn it down. Furthermore, the poll found that today's money-grabbing mercenaries feel obliged to commit J10 more than two years service at whichever firm they do entice into employing them. These findings, part of The Guardian's Grad Facts 2000 survey (in association with the Association of Graduate Recruiters), may come as a surprise to those 3rd Year LSE students who are currently navigating their way through arduous interview processes, but it would seem that power lies with them. This is quite lucky given the survey's finding on application procedures: 51% of graduates said having to perform some kind of test would discourage them from applying for certain jobs. Being asked to do role play exercises or give a presentation were considered the worst options, closely followed by giving handwriting samples, writing essays/reports and being interviewed over the phone. In the end, 57% confessed that doing anything other than supplying a CV, filling in a form or having a straight-forward interview would put them off. Similarly, 60% of Beaver writers agreed that to do anything more than lift from a straightforward press release would constitute something resembling work and therefore is to be discouraged. ¡ö ___ Graduates: in the driving seat 2001 : A Gap Year Odyssey well, you should find out whether contact with people's left hands is a hygienic and social faux pas. Travelling abroad can also entail cramped conditions. Try to avoid police cells, and remember that seats on buses and trains may have leg room only for amputees. I have nothing against pygmies, but don't complain when their beds aren't long enough. Cultural assumptions: the most obvious difference that many of you would find will often be attitudes to women. London, despite some people's latent prejudices, is comparative to many places a haven of sexual equality. Visitors to India, where some men view Western women as promiscuous, often experience far more intimate contact than they would wish. Encroachments upon personal space are not only sexual: Nepalis and Indians often live in cramped conditions, and holding hands amongst men is nothing more than a sign of friendship. They are so forthcoming and interested in getting to know everyone they meet that they often ask details about personal issues, especially the younger men. Vegetarians may also have problems in some countries, not only in finding enough nutrients, but also socially. The Nepalis, despite being forbidden to eat meat as Brahmins in some of the Hindu shastras, told me that I would be ostracised if I did not eat goat at a wedding. Attitudes to animals can be less Faith off: there are more pygmaies than you think .'J r m than caring. Playing football one day I saw two young boys 'skipping' towards the pitch. It was only when they came within hurling distance that I realised they were not skipping at all, but whirling rats held by the tails in either hand. They then decided to play 'keep-uppies' with the rats as balls. Too much detail? Then think about where to avoid. Expense: take travellers' cheques and credit cards where possible. If you're going somewhere with a soft currency you may find dollars helpful in getting around more quickly, and you can deceive yourself into believing the government will spend them on development projects which require materials and advisers from 'the West'. Budget for insurance, transport, accommodation, clothes, vittels, and a small pharmacy's worth of medical supplies. Whatever outpost you want to impose yourself upon always plan for more than a shoe-string budget. Cultural sites and 'experiences' cost something in every country, unless they're either 1. religious (established or cult differences miraculously vanish when the possibility of converting the uninitiated rises up), or 2. a scam involving risk to person or property or both. 1. and 2. are not mutually exclusive. Pic: Archives Pic: Archives Most of all, just be realistic about you aims and abilities, and keep your wits about you, especially in public places. "Try to avoid police cells, remember that seats on buses and trains may have leg room only for amputees and that beds are pygmy size." Union Jack As Jack walked in from the cold and into the Old Theatre a terrible thought struck him. The start of a new term meant a new UGM Chairman and with the excitement of change always comes uncertainty. Chairman Mo had led with an Iron Fist, dissidents were quelled without hesitation and it was on more than one occasion that Jack looked up to see the balcony boys cower at a dressing down from him. Yes, he knew a thing or two about discipline did Mo. Could the new incumbent survive in his shadow? Feders played an enduring role as Cilia and our Graeme showed a decidedly unpleasant face in the form of Oscar Kent. It is here that Jack must have a rant. Along with respectable murmurings from Tory Sleaze Hartley and La Taborn was something quite distasteful. Readers should note Jack was not impressed by La McElligot's seeking election by playing to the Neanderthal desires of the balcony boys. It was demeaning. If she wanted to impress them she should have cooked pasta or read a short story, not whipped Oscar Kent on stage in a sad show of sexual depravity. Tory Sleaze won the day by impressing the Union with her knowledge of vital details on recounts and was soon Joined by a surprising face. Intoxicated by the roar of the crowd Blackwell took to the floor. Jack enjoys Blackwell outbursts and only hopes he will still be able to hear him speak while he holds the vice-chair. A Tory ascension now in place and the Fourth Reich soon to follow, we turned to the main business of the day. Yet tragedy nearly struck. Before long a young boy from the valleys with an arm strong from fending off his family's sexual affections sent a wild paper missile straight into our new chairman's face. Her glasses flew and her head fell back. Jack was, and still is. angry. Paper throwing used to be a tool of dissension but the brick like missiles now seen emanating from the balcony are bloody dangerous. Save your strong arm for when Giddens visits the UGM young man. With order resumed the lad from Wales was voted out the meeting and into his new role as Union pariah. The motions passed uneventfully as Kent was joined by his apprentice in filth Charterhouse and the meeting voted to punish misbehaviour with the birch. A sad note in leaving, part of the fun in having Tory Sleaze as chairman was the thought of her singing the Red Flag. Jack hopes that those integral to the Union will adhere to the standing order passed last year and sing for him at close. V Travel Bursary .Awarding .? Innovative Thinking Pick up an application form from the Careers Library or call 0800 0850996 Morgan Stanley Dean Witter Amsterdam Bangkok Beijing Ftxinkfurl Gen?ra Hong Kong Johannesburg l^ndon Luxembourg Modrid Melbourne Milan Montreal Moscow Mumbai New York Paris Sao Paulo Seoul Shtnighai Singopore Sydney Toipet Tokyo Toronto Zurich Visit our website at www.msdw.com for more information on career opportunities Deadline for entries is 2nd April 2001. J Far Flung TheBeaver- Issue 530 - Jan 15th 2001 i pagesi The Beaver's weekly round up of student news from around the country with Ruth Molyneux WARWICK UNIVERSITY OF WARWICK Having recently discovered that It is OK to have a social life (c.f. TheBeaver passim)...students at Wan?ick are now complaining about extortionate ticl rii'*: tiful b: movies ures b:musical pages 4,5 "'?bigynt page J if: f-r-? r:5ro^r- ?! b: movies Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon starring: Chow Yun-Fat, Michelle Yeoh, Zhang Ziyi Directed by: Ang Lee Release date: Out Now Review by: Tom Whitaker And so it has been decided that any film which features scenes of gravity-defying kung-fu must be compared to The Matrix. With the actors suspended on v^ires, seemingly impossible feats of acrobatic head-kicking have been making their way onto screens in the Far East for years now. The interesting thing about Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, then, is not that it features, these Alatnx-like martial-arts sequences, but that it is directed by Ang Lee, who previously brought us films like Sense and Sensibility and The Ice Storm. With Crouching Tiger..., he has managed to serve up a film as emotionally rich as either of those, whilst also providing a level of gob-smacking chopsocky not yet seen in the multiplexes of the West. Set in 19th Century China, Chow Yun-Fat {Hard Boiled, The Corruptor) stars as Li Mu Bai, a warrior devoted to justice, and guardian of the mythical Green Destiny, a sword with legendary powers. Burdened by the weight of this responsibility, he entrusts the sword to Yu Shu Lien (Michelle Yeoh, Tomorrow Never Dies), and she is given the task of delivering the sword to its new owner, in Beijing. After a slow start, the sword is stolen. Li and Yu, who have never declared their love for each other, team up to investigate the theft, and the trail leads to a young girl named Jen (Zhang Ziyi). Trapped by tradition and headed for an arranged marriage, Jen envies the freedom of travelling warriors like Li and Yu, and sets out to prove her worth as one of them. In doing so, she causes Li and Yu to confront not only her, but to in the West. At it's best moments, it's a thrillingly transcendent fantasy flick, crossed with a compelling tale of forbidden romance. The fight sequences ditch the thrill-a-minute violence of so many blockbusters, managing to be both essential to the plot and also succeeding as jaw-dropping displays of skill and grace. This filters throughout the film as a whole, which boasts stunning visuals backed up by an achingly beautiful, perfectly Chow Yun-Fat, without two guns for a change "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon provides a level of gob-smacking chopsocky not yet seen in the multiplexes of the West." also their feelings for each other, which are undeniable yet prohibited by their ¡ötraditions. Zhang Ziyi: Now you see her point. Riding in on a wave of hype and outstanding advance word from critics and audiences in the East and the US, this is a refreshingly different experience to both the action films and love stories we're used judged soundtrack. The performances, from Chow Yun-Fat (proving here that he's equally deft with his bare feet or a sword as he is with a pair of semiautomatic pistols) right through to Zhang Ziyi as the beautiful, troublesome Jen, are good enough to make you forget that you're actually reading subtitles. Despite all this, the film falls down on it's overlong middle-section, which drags us off into seemingly unimportant territory, as we leave Li and Yu behind to follow the story of Jen, told in one drawn-out flashback. Whilst essential to the story later, it seems desperately unnecessary and out of place at the time, damaging the audience's fantastical awe and suspended disbelief. These are thoroughly important elements In a film that features characters who can not only perform a Motn'x-style flying kick, but also run up walls, over rooftops and even fight in treetops. I must admit that as a Westerner unversed in the genre and the legendary setting of the film, I feel that I can't quite do it justice. Some of the more bizarre moments passed leaving me slightly bewildered, and I'm sure I laughed in a few of the wrong places. Still, if you're prepared to accept the premise that these people can fly like Superman whilst fighting like Bruce Lee, then you'll enjoy a lot of what's to offer here. It's a shame, however, that the film would have undoubtedly benefited from either some judicious editing or more focussed plotting. As such. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon is a sumptuous epic, but one that sadly didn't quite live up to my high expectations. In spite of this, it still has to rank as the first unmissable film of 2001. Films like this don't come around too often, and its ' successful combination of themes of emancipation and striking sequences of superhuman scrapping leaves the 'feminist' trash that was Charlie's Angels standing. Quills Starring: Geoffrey Rush, Kate Winslet, Joaquin Phoenix Directed by: Philip Kaufman Release date: Out Now Review by: Doug Hancock Hotly tipped for Oscars, Quills is a movie about the life and times of the Marquis de Sade from the director of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Philip Kaufman. Set in a grand converted country house-cum-mental hospital in Napoleonic France, Quills tells the story of the last months of the sordid scribe's life. Geoffrey Rush plays the Marquis de Sade, and Kate Winslet takes the role of Madeline, a laundry woman at the mental hospital, secretly smuggling his last writings out to an eager public audience. Joaquin Phoenix also appears as the priest who runs the asylum. Disappointingly, we don't really learn about the Marquis De Sade. It seems that Kaufman could not decide what he wanted the Marquis to be. At certain points It seems like he was hated just for being a wicked gossip, while at other times he came off as a dirty old man. In reality, the Marquis De Sade was a complex figure; his ideas were perverse to the extreme and yet his statement of those ideas was utterly brilliant. The film makes little of those qualities. Why couldn't this film simply have told the life of the Marquis De Sade as it was, rather than changing the true story into a fictional (not to mention less interesting)? At times I almost felt like I was watching Disney Does De Sade; light and fluffy when it ought to have been provocative and erotic. Still, the writing was top notch, with first time screenwriter Doug Wright proving that he has a solid pen and a witty touch. The performances from the actors were all very good, and if anything is going to win an Oscar in this film it will be Geoffrey Rush's turn as the original sadist himself. Michael Caine, as a doctor sent in by the central government to stem the flow of the Marquis' illicit yet popular writings, has a couple of scenes that are absolute gems. Quills manages to raise pertinent questions about modern controversies, yet also succeeds as a compelling costume drama. Not just content with cramming five reviews into our two measly pages, we're so eager to please that we've got a shedload of free stuff to give away this month. So, without further ado... Vertical Limit: To win a fantastic Vertical Limit rucksack stuffed with a long-sleeved T-shirt, fleece and a pair of binoculars(!), tell us: For which 1992 film did Chris O'Donnell receive a Golden Globe nomination? o o 3 "O (D Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon: We've got two copies of the translated screenplay and the awesome soundtrack CD to donate ^ to lucky film buff who can answer this: Who choreographed the stunning fight sequences in Crouching Tiger and The Matrix? Requiem For A Dream: Out now, this is Darren Aronofsky's highly controversial follow-up to the critically acclaimed Pi, starring Jared Leto, Jennifer Connelly and Marlon Wayans. We'll be reviewing it next week, but for now we have two copies of the book on which the film is based for our runners-up, and the winner will take home a director-autographed copy of the screenplay! Just tell us the name of the book's author. All answers need to be emailed in to us on beaverfilm@yahoo.com, and we'll announce the winners of this week's competition, and those left over from last term, in next week's issue. Good luck! b: movies Vertical Limit ¡ï¡ï starring: Chris 0' Donnell, Robin Tunney, Scott Glenn Directed by: Martin Campbell Release date: January 19 Hollywood pretty-boy Chris 0'Donnell has been a bit quiet of late, since starring in easily the worst film of the past decade, Batman And Robin. So, when it was announced that he would take the lead in this multi-million dollar alpine action thriller, I was surprised to say the least. One mighty-fine, stunt-packed trailer later and I was actually expecting a worthwhile two hours of thrills. Maybe I should have looked further down the cast list to see New Zealand actor Temuera Morrison. Star of the powerful domestic violence drama Once Were Warriors in his home country, his move to the US has been less than successful, taking roles in such turgid action pap as Barb Wire, From Dusl< Till Dawn 3 and, lord help us. Speed 2. In terms of Chris and Temuera's blockbuster careers, this may be a step up. Everyone else, from Bill Paxton through Scott "Silence Of The Lambs" Glenn to Izabella Scorupco should hide for now and hope that this disappears sharpish. Chris plays Peter Garrett, son of a renowned climber, and when his sister is trapped atop K2 in the aftermath of an avalanche, he must set off with a motley crew of idiots to save them. Ignore the fact that the six split up into three groups for no good reason; it just means that we can three times as many action scenes, as avalanches tumble, cliff edges crumble and vital safety ropes fray. You're probably best not to question their motives for taking nitro-glycerine up to the summit, not really to blast their way down to the survivors, but actually so that it can prove laughably unstable and explode at inopportune moments. Things like that aren't a problem; this is an action film after all, and if it provides the thrills, who cares if the plot makes sense? The real problem is that the film takes a good hour's worth of dull exposition to get to the action, during which all of the team members' have their issues spelled out for us. Chris O'Donnell hasn't climbed since he killed his dad, and Scott Glenn only climbs alone since his wife died on the slopes, her body never found. But once we do get to the thrills and spills of the final hour, impressive as they are, the film still gets bogged down in trite, uninteresting (and often hysterically funny) heart-to-heart resolutions, as Chris learns to forgive himself, and Scott Glenn is reconciled with his Review by: Tom Whitaker frozen, porcelain-doll wife-corpse. I shit you not. If it's big stunts and bad dialogue you're looking for, Vertical Limit might be worth a look for the final hour. But your time would be far better spent watching the trailer to see all of the best bits, and renting Cliffhanger, which most of them are stolen from. Snow-bored: Chris 0 Donneil Unbreakable ¡ï¡ï starring: Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jac-kson, Robin Wright Penn Directed by: M. Night Shyamalan Released: Out Now Beautiful Creatures Starring: Rachel Weisz, Susan Lynch Directed by: Bill Eagles Released: January 19 Review by: Antny Rankin Director M. Night Shyamalan has a few tricks up his sleeve, and believe it or not he didn't use them all in The Sixth Sense. Still, it seems clear that Shyamalan has grown rather attached to his winning formula, and Bruce Willis. So it isn't really a criticism to say that he is working from the same easel of emotions that _____ worked so well for him before. Dark, crisp pictures of urban squalor with tenement greys and moody hues fill the setting. The colours never seem, healthy; the greens are faded and rotting, the shadows are dark and ominous cutting through settings and people like knives, and the actors are sad even when smiling. What this depression does, though, is makes the impossible seem plausible because the audience gets the feeling that only with the world in such a state of disarray could the supernatural really exist. Bruce Willis is a mid-thirties man, with a failing marriage, one kid, and a house with no lights (or maybe just one light, but basically it always hits the family from a side angle). He is a security guard, good at his job, but not happy with anything about his world. Oh, and did I mention he has just happened to be the sole survivor a catastrophic train crash, and he doesn't have a single scratch on him? Willis, you see, is as unbreakable as a gangster's goolies. Don't get excited yet, though. Unfortunately, Shyamalan pulls his hamstring on the opening stretch and is forced to limp through the rest. He tries. "an ultimately unsatisfying experience." god does he try, but the pervasive atmosphere remains the focus of the film not just style over content, but style as content. Unbreakable wants to have a purpose (see the movie's attempt at bringing comic book lore into the mix) but the explanation it drives towards is almost offensive in its simplicity. The _____ ending feels like Shyamalan came to a place where he felt he should end the movie and since he was already over his time limit he only had two options: end quickly and painfully or continue without a climax. I won't tell you which route he chooses. The intriguing trailer made me lick my lips with excitement, but Unbreakable wastes Samuel L. Jackson's talent and leaves Robin Wright Penn (Forrest Gump, The Princess Bride) floundering in a token-wife role. Unbreakable, then, is an ultimately unsatisfying experience, which loses the audience's interest way before reaching the end of the line. "D! Review by: Piers Camming o you have an easily I accessible back entrance that I can make use of?" says the fat balding copper to peroxide sexpot Petula (Rachel Weisz). Yes, it is a double entendre, yes it is the funniest line in the film and no, I will not give you the context because then I'd be spoiling the story for you. To give you the gist of it, Dorothy (Susan Lynch) stumbles upon a man in the process of beating up his girlfriend, tries to break them up and accidentally kills him. This results in an hour and a half of girlie bonding stuff, Thelma and Louise style, pretending the dead boyfriend is still alive so that they can extort a ransom from his father. Pretty perverse, I know, but it does seem sort of justified when you're watching. Not that this opposites-attract relationship is particularly convincing: Wrong side of the tracks Dorothy has a wardrobe bigger than her council flat, and as for Right Side (Petula)... what can 1 say? I wasn't really listening to her if you know what I mean. There are high points that pick the film up, but too few and generally the film does not have "Using jazz music as backdrop to comedy domestic violence is pretty fishy scheme in my book" the strength to really carry itself properly. With this kind of comedy-thriller you expect nice twists but it was all fairly predictable, rapidly heading towards the obligatory all ______ characters in a room with guns ending. First time director Bill Eagles tries various tactics to keep the audience interested, like using jazz music as backdrop to domestic violence for comedy effect. A pretty fishy scheme in my book, although with that in mind, those with a taste for the brand of humour you know you shouldn't be laughing at may get there kicks here. But if you've seen Thelma and Louise, Lock Stock... and even Bound, there's sadly little new for you here. V b:music The Young Ones Vic Rattlehead sees the Swiss noiseniks celebrate their 15th anniversary The Young Gods @ Queen Etizabeth Hall 04 :12: 2K Like witches in a coven celebrating a black mass, here we, faithful replicants, robot-goths, teutonic man-machines (or whatever post-Blade Runner term you can come up with!!!) are, assembled for the 15th anniversary of The Young Gods. Slightly bemused at the choice of venue (seated!), considering that The Gods have been inspiring many a moshing Mongoloid metalhead and electro-wizard throughout their illustrious career. The show is split into two parts. With no support band on the bill, the first part turns out to be in fact a live presentation of the "other side" of the Young Gods' work. It features the Gods' sampling whiz Alain Monod's new customised "sitar" project: a breathtakingly mesmerising work that would make even sitar god Ravi Shankar green with envy!!! Then follows a musical collaboration in the form of a modern nude ballet with dancer Nuria de Ulibarri and choreographed by Gilles Jobin, combined with live excerpts of Heaven Decohstruction¡ªthe Young Gods' last side-project venture¡ª and frontman Franz Treichler's solo Braindance project. A visual and aural delight (including the gorgeous nude ballet girl!!!). One could smell though the burning anticipation in the crowd for the band to appear onstage. They soon do, however, to the roar of this-unusually- seated bunch. Attends is an odd, though intense, choice of an opener from new album Second Nature. Luddosen however gets the crowd going with its ultra-fast beats and sampled riffs. The stage gear is, as you'd expect, quite minimalist. You hear a voice, a drummer, and everything else you hear is sampled! Franz seems in great shape and as usual confuses the audience with his m 0 c k -madman antics during song intros, while new drummer Bernard Trontin is a cross between renowned pianist Evgeny Kissin and the big-haired character from David Lynch's Eraserhead! Hmmm...is there a tradition of having Afro-style drummers in the band? (Remember Uzi???) From Supersonic and The Sound In Your Eyes to Stick Around, the band go through most of the songs from the new album, interspersed with old classics such as SlAcGuinness was not sure to what extent he wanted the play to be similar to the original 19^^^ Century Norwegian version versus a more modern approach. At times the script was almost a pure translation of Norwegian; at other instances the script was very modern Londonish. When Peer Gynt meets the trolls in the mountains, a Northern European notion of the agents of the devil, the production was as modern as possible. The trolls basically resembled an average Friday night at the Electric Ballroom in Camden or a Saturday night at the Slimelight at Angel. Three different actors acted as Peer Gynt as he gets older through the play. The first was for my money the most impressive actor of the entire production: Chiwetel Ejiofor was absolutely fantastic. But then the mid-aged Peer Gynt (Patrick O'Kane) was absolutely awful. Trying to mimic an American accent (which for itself was terrible), after the first five minutes of his role he completely forgot about the fake American accent, reverting instead to his original Northern English accent. The third Peer Gynt (Joseph Marcell) was quite good. Finally, a good word must be extended to Conor Linehan and Paul Groothuis for ensuring a phenomenal musical performance. Peer Gynt is playing at Olivier, National Theatre, until 9 December. THE WORLD'S The greatest range of general, academic under one in the world The Best UNHTRSITY BOOKSHOP in London Ik Telephone: 020 7437 5660 Facsimile: 020 7434 1574 Email: sales@foyles.co.uk http: //www.foyles.co.uk 113-119 Charing Cross Road LONDON WC2H OEB (2 minutes from Tottenham Court Road Underground Station) ha AI Jawf NIGER tSO 300km ISO 300 ml CHAD Pan AM Flight 103? Oh yes, Christmas time 1988, those two Libyans did it. Right? -Or maybe not. Without the proprietors being brought to justice, it is necessary to discuss the politics behind the disaster of 270 people. The evidence against the Libyans, who worked for Libyan Arab Airlines at Air Malta airport, is thin to the point of transparency. There is no forensic evidence to support the charge that they placed the bomb in an Air Malta plane in Malta, tagging it so it would eventually be transferred to Flight 103 in London. No witnesses, no fingerprints. Nothing to tie them to that particular brown Samsonite suitcase. No past history of terrorism. Limited evidence is presented by the prosecution of which includes a diary entry; clothing found in the suitcase, and the type of bomb. A question you have to ask yourself is, If they were actually planning a murderous operation, why mention it on paper and leave the diary in a public place? Another piece of evidence presented by the US/UK investigators is that the type of timing device used in the bomb was sold only to Libya. It was later revealed that, in fact, the investigators were told in 1990 by the Swiss manufacturer that it had also sold same timers to East German intelligence, which had close contact with the Popular Front for the Liberation of words by maidah ahmad Palestine-General Command (PFLP-GC) and numerous other "terrorist" groups. Similarly, clothing found within the infamous suitcase was said to be sold only on Malta and the shopkeeper of the exclusive store apparently identified the suspects as the purchasers. However, it is learned that at least one of the items was sold at dozens of outlets throughout Europe and the shopkeeper has never been shown any picture of the suspect. Another important question is how the suitcase containing the-bomb was put onto the Air Malta flight destined for Frankfurt without an accompanying passenger, on the first leg of its fateful journey. Air Malta itself made an exhaustive study of this matter and has categorically denied that there was any accompanied baggage on KM180 or that any of the passengers transferred to the Frankfurt to London flight. A report sent by the FBI from Germany to Washington In October 1989 reveals profound doubts about this thesis. The report concludes: "there remains the possibility that no luggage was transferred from Air Malta 180 to Pan Am 1903". Three years after the indictment of the Libyans in 1995, the FBI still held the view that the baggage records of Air Malta were misleading and that there is a strong possibility that the suitcase came from another flight, or was simply a rogue bag inserted into the system. To accept the Malta scenario is to believe that the suitcase itself led the following charmed life: 1) loaded aboard the Air Malta flight to Frankfurt without an accompanying passenger; 2) transferred in Frankfurt without an accompanying passenger; 3) transferred in London to the Pan Am 103 flight to New York without an accompanying passenger. Hence, it was no ordinary suitcase, rather a magic suitcase! Under international airline rules, baggage unaccompanied by passengers should not be allowed onto aircraft without being searched or x-rayed. Actual practice is of course more lax, but how could serious professional terrorists count on this laxness occurring three times in a row for the same suitcase? There is moreover an alternative scenario, laying blame on Iran and Syria, which makes a lot more sense, logistically, politically and technically. Indeed, this was the original official case put forward, until that is the Gulf War came along and the support of Iran and Syria was needed, and Washington was anxious to secure the release of American hostages held in Lebanon by groups close to Iran. Suddenly in October 1990, there was a new official version: It was Libya, the Arab state least supportive of the US build-up to the Gulf War and the sanctions imposed against Iraq, that was behind the bombing after all. In fact 20 days after the US State department declared the sole involvement of the Libyan government, the remaining hostages were released. The original official version accused the PFLP-GC of making the bomb and placing it aboard the flight. The PFLP-GC is led by one of the world's leading terrorists, and was headquartered in, financed by, and closely supported by Syria. The bombing was done in revenge for the US shooting down of in Iranian passenger plane in 1988, which claimed 290 lives. Support for this scenario was widespread, in fact The Times of London reported that "Security officials from Britain, the United States, and West Germany are totally satisfied that the' PFLP-GC are behind the crime". Furthermore, a report leaked in 1989, stated that in mid1980 a drug and arms smuggling operation was set up in various European cities, with Frankfurt airport as the site of one of the drug routes. The CIA in Germany discovered the drug operation at the airport and learned also that the mastermind of the operation had contacts to gain the release of American hostages in Lebanon. In fact he had already done the same for French hostages. Thus the CIA and the German Criminal Office (BKA) allowed the drug operation to continue. According to the report, this same smuggling ring and its method of switching suitcases were used to smuggle the fatal bomb aboard Flight 103, under the eyes of the CIA and BKA, in fact it may well have been contained within the drug suitcase as evidence from the crash scene suggests that drugs were found in a suitcase. Why then did the New York Times quote a federal official as saying "no hard drugs were found aboard the aircraft"? Revelations of American involvement in this drug trafficking operation led to a congressional hearing held in 1990. The hearing was undermined by the fact that the DEA and the Department of Justice had not made any of their agents available to testify; that they had not provided requested written information; and that the FBI to this date has been totally uncooperative. It is blatantly obvious that there is more to this story than recently portrayed in the media. For all those people that have tried to expose hidden agents have experienced suspicious situations. Lester Coleman co-authored a highly revealing book and as a consequence was hounded for several years, across continents, and severely punished including being imprisoned on phoney charges to damage his credibility. In addition, there was Allan Francovich who made a documentary, 'The Maltese Double cross'. When Channel 4 agreed to show the film, staff cars were sabotaged, office phones w.ere tapped and a researcher narrowly escaped an attempt to force his vehicle into the path of an oncoming truck. Furthermore, if the US were allowed to demand over the two Libyans, then Oaddafi could ask for the surrender of the two airmen who bombed two Libyan cities, as well as other terrorist harboured by the US. Although it is not my place to discuss the legalities behind the case, what is certain is that politics may play a bigger role in determining the fate of two men and the memory of hundreds. maidah ahmad is international editor of the beaver and can be contacted at m.ahmad@lse.ac.uk ezuxriK the revolution will not be televised words by ross shell 1 all of us know a little bit about the American democratic traditions and its roots in the War of Independence and the Slave Trade. In years past the US constitution and electoral system has been jealously eyed by reform minded politicians in the UK, who wish to establish proportional representation and an elected second house. The American system has ensured the value of states, however small, to Presidential candidates; resulting in a roughly equal relationship between votes cast and seats in office. No system is perfect, and with much smugness we have observed the sad failure of the American system to reward the popular vote. Gore has won the popular vote, yet his campaign has been lost by a single vote in the supreme court. Gore conceded: the electorate had grown tired and wanted a decision and the Republicans demanded their rights of Manifest Destiny. Gore has done the "proper thing", moving aside to ensure good governance and the stability of the world's greatest nation. As the Economist (November, 11th 2000) hoped their is only one proper choice: "With luck, the loser will show the same restraint" as the rightful heir. American elections are big events. With a population of over 270 million and with $US3 billion being spent this year, there is serious money and power to play for. Jon Gorzine, ex-head of Goldman Sachs, spent US$60 million to satisfy his dream to be senator of New Jersey. Campaign finance has always been a contentious issue with Clinton and Dole bumping heads over 'soft money' in 1996. The 2000 election goes further, raising questions of voter sovereignty and the ability of those in power to manipulate and even ignore the results. With the official recount halted by the Supreme Court, an unofficial alternative shows Gore to be clearly ahead in the deciding state. It is perhaps churlish to attack the Republicans for contesting the count as the Democrats could be expected to have done the same, although it is worth remembering that as state governor George W Bush passed a Texas law reacquiring recounts. The most marginalised and angry voices lie in the Black community and activists such as Jesse Jackson who has resurrected his career amongst the controversy. The black electoral turn-out in Florida rose 65%, a concern reflected in their vehement opposition to the result. An investigation by the Washington Post, found that J/3 of ballots in black sections of Jacksonville, Florida did not register a vote for President. With a curiously high number of faulty counting machines, polling day road blocks and voter intimidation in black neighbourhoods this would appear to be more than accidental disenfranchisement. Perhaps equally shocking were the images of tearful elderly Jewish Floridians, who confused by overcomplicated ballots, had accidentally voted for Pat BuchKKKanan, who freely admitted that he gained thousands of votes from the confusion. And Dubya's brother Jeb, just happens to be Florida Governor. Elections are essentially about numbers, hopefully the number of votes cast. Most specifically the US election has rested on the political alignments of the supreme court, a 5/4 split in favour of the Republicans. Of more interest is the relationship between George Bush; the elder and the supreme court. Snr, together with supreme court judges Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas and John O' Connor (husband of judge Sandra), belong to the men-only Bohemian Grove Club. Under its auspices, members head into the woods for male bonding sessions which reportedly include communal nudity and urination. Quite obviously. Gore has being pissing Chicago # ':y ^IS^il.iFmncJsoo- Ba<8tort?k , N^!w,Yotk4V in the wrong Bush with just his Slick Willie for company. Despite America's great democratic History, the 2000 elections have shown that Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" is still a chrysalis. It takes ordinary people to cast votes but only the ordained to decide them. Snr has had his revenge on Clinton with his son In the White House: his sidekick Cheney who, amongst other things opposed Mandela's release from Robben Island, is now the vice and effective President: Powell, who boosted his fortunes by helping cover-up the My Lai massacre, is now Secretary of State. It all seems a bit like the old commercial; "Those sure were the good times", "Just you, Dad, and his Smith and Wesson". They lost the vote and yet they possess the Presidency, Congress and the Senate. Whose democracy is this? tis-aTri:... an Diego ^ ~ ?ll.p,o/?ver..." ?shir?gtai\ DC " lad^iphia NaBhkrills < ? Phoenix ^ Atlanta Daliasd Austin^ ? Houstonil Orleans ? J WK3 Fort LD-Jderdalai Ross Sheil is a member of the collective. He was over the in the States for Christmas and is desperately seeking a Bush voodoo doll. B:i-xnK Malice through the (looking glass... an irreverent and untrue look at old people mr paul, a world of untruths by kerron rohrer and charlie jurd ?f you say Paul Daniels to Imost people, they will look at you strangely and wonder why you have just said his name without qualifying it in any way. If you incorporate it into a sentence and explain what you mean -that you want them to say what he means to them - they will probably still think you're a nutjob. Once you've cleared up the confusion, calmed them down, and clearly explained the context in which it is set and in what capacity you are asking them, they may say something like "oh, yeah, he's the short, bald magician from the North East". And they'd be right, but not completely right, as beneath the surface of this amiable trickster lies a character not dissimilar to fellow magician Mandrake from the "Defenders of the Earth". Both are not only masters of magic but also spells and illusion. Unlike Mandrake, Paul Daniels does not Flash Gordon, only unsuspecting residents of the Middlesbrough council estate he owns and collects rent from, dressed only in his slippers and a loosely tied dressing gown which frequently falls open to reveal his crinkled and deformed midget frame much to the chagrin of the residents there, who despite many complaints to the police, have found to their dismay, that Daniels has more than just magical power in the Teeside area. It is these circumstances, and a perverse addiction in pasta products, which have prompted rumours linking Paul to a Sicilian organised crime family. Of course Paul is merely one leg of the Daniels tripod, completed by the legs of Debbie McGee and his son Martin Daniels. Paul's other sons, estranged Paul Newton (courier) and Gary Daniels (who has escaped from the are the cards big or are paul world of vice and now works as a computer engineer recently responsible for the introduction of computer hardware into Middlesbrough hospital). In 1979, whilst at Summer Season in Great Yarmouth Paul Daniels was questioned by the police concerning a protection racket in the Southbank area of Middlesbrough. However, as the enquiry progressed several key witnesses "disappeared". In contrast with the lovely Debbie McGee these guys did not reappear on the top of a cage wearing a sequinned jumpsuit and gravity-defying hair. No, they were dead. Of recent note, although largely ignored by the papers in the Teeside area, was the very public split from Daniels of his long-term manager and older brother, Barry Daniels. Barry now works as a concierge at a hotel in Bogota, Colombia and had expressed concern at Daniels' spiralling drug use in recent years. After getting his first 'hit' during a break in rehearsals for long running gameshow "Every Second Counts" Daniels' stormy love affair with drugs began. Traces of diamorphine, more commonly known as heroin, H or "butcher's gravy", were found on wands Daniels had used for top-rating 'The Paul Daniels Magic Show". Although Paul had reportedly been "clean" after a two week drugs, drink and crack-whore binge in Prestatyn, Cornwall, following the termination of his contract as presenter of daytime quiz "Wipeout" in favour of leather-skinned joker Bob Monkhouse, insiders were reportedly disturbed at his recent erratic behaviour. Years before, clues about Daniels' disturbing character had arisen after his son revealed the lengths that Daniels had gone to in order to steal Debbie McGee, Martin's current girlfriend, for himself. The diminutive magician had connived and manipulated to get his son fired from his jobs at the BBC and ITV, knowing full well that the shallow, mercenary, money-grubbing bitch would fall straight into the arms of his more successful, if far uglier father. And like many of his card tricks, he pulled it off without a hitch. All of this was revealed in an article that his destitute son had written for the Daily Star to help pay the rent. Later in the article, his son revealed that for many years, Daniels' had been using his considerable influence in the Teeside area to gain access to the local morgues at the weekend to indulge his rampant necrophilial urges (In case you were wondering, this did involve sexual intercourse with corpses) Whilst his front as a popular magician of stage and screen has so far remained intact, the recent emergence of an illegal betting syndicate in the Teeside area who use disused warehouses to force farmyard animals into combat with each other has once again aroused the interest of the local constabulary. Eyewitnesses paint a sorry picture of cock-fighting, bear-baiting and squirrel poking goaded on by a number of semi-naked men, one of which was rumoured to be Daniels. There are apparently no limits to the depths to which Daniels will stoop to get his adrenalin-fuelled kicks. His perversions probe every depravity and yet he still occupies a place in the heart of the nation. If they only knew what kind of man Daniels is, and that he probably wouldn't even have been allowed to live in Sodom and Gomorrah even if they'dhad an open door policy for perverted entertainers. Some of you may say "so what if he likes a bit of scary shit on the side. He tickes my funny bones with his clever mix of magic and light humour" OK, but this is plain wrong. Just imagine those poor bears, taunted and whipped into a aggressive frenzy and forced to fight like, well like bears. And then imagine this man grunting his passion away on your recently , deceased grandmother, or as rumours have suggested, grandfather. No dead person deserves to be defiled like this, except maybe Paul when he kicks the bucket. Kerron Rohrer is the new features editor and he just loves magic...but he warns that it can lead to evil if misused. Charlie Jurd was amused by the "Flash Gordon" joke for 14 hours 38 minutes. DISCLAIMER Malice through the looking glass is not based on fact as far as the writers as aware and any resemblance to persons, living or perhaps dead, is purely accidental. As far as we are aware no animals or prosecution witnesses were harmed during the research of this article and we have no evidence that Paul Daniels has ever had sex with a dead body. Reeve's Foundation Awards LSESU PRESENTS ¡õ Are you a current undergraduate or postgraduate student experiencing financial difficulties? ¡õ Do you live in the London Boroughs of Camden or Islington, or in the City of London during term time (including Halls of Residence)? This encompasses the following postcodes; Nl, N5, N7, N19, NWl, NW3, NW5, WCl, ECl, EC2, EC3, EC4 And you may also be eligible if you live in one of these postcode districts: N4, N6, N8, N16, NW2, NW6, NWS, Wl, WC2, El Students applying to Reeve's Foundation for financial assistance must also: ¡õ be of British nationality; ¡õ be under the age of 40; Q have proven financial difficulties SWIN(5 TING R'N'B, HIP-HOP & GARAGE SOCIETY IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE INDIAN SOCIETY Tuesday 16^*^ January DJ's ON THE NIGHT PLAYING THE BEST IN UK GAkA&E AND UPLIFTING R'n'B ALL PROCEEDS WILL BE GOING TO CHARITY @lse in THE UNDERGROUND 7pm - 11 pm MASSIVE BAR SUBSIDY ON NIGHT! If you feel that you meet all of the above criteria, you should complete a Reeve's Foundation application form, available from the Graduate School Counter (2"'' Floor of Connaught House). FOR FURTHER INFO CONTACT GURPREET- 07939 549Q08 NEETA-07932 789332. ZAEEM-07788148188 . ¡ê2 iNIE.MBERS ¡ê3 OTHERWISE MORE AFTER 9PM R,O.A.R The normal maximum award is ¡ê1000. GOAL/People First Events What? "The Role of A Government Agency". Who? Barrie Ireton, Programme Director, Dept. for International Development. Where? Ashwell House, Shepherdess Walk, N1 7NA When? Tuesday 16th January, 6.30pm - 8pm, followed by cheese and wine. What? The Role of the Media When? February More details to follow. Who? Anita Roddick When? March More details to follow. Contact peoplefirst@internet.com with any questions. Grimshaw Club Event: What? "Global Broadcasting in a Digital Age" Who? Mark Byford, Managing Director of the BBC World Service Where? The Old Theatre When? Tuesday 16th January, 5pm U Should Be Dancing The Modem Dance Society is looking for ENTHUSIASM!!! We need dancers of all standards to participate In the most fun and funky event of the year. Routines will include: Britney Spears, Saturday Night Fever, Macy Gray, Destiny's Child, N'Sync ... and some sensible ones too!!! Contact Kirsty on k.a.noble@lse.ac.uk union UGM DOUBLE-BILL THURSDAY 18TH JANUARY THE UGM WELCOMES ULU PRESIDENT SCOTT RICE DEBATE ON THE DANGERS OF DRINKING AND SMOKING TOO MUCH, REVOLUTION IN THE BRUNCH BOWL AND NUS THURSDAY 25TH JANUARY STUDENTS' UNION BI-ELECTIONS FOR EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE POSITIONS UP FOR GRABS ENVIRONMENT AND SERVICES OFFICER EQUAL OPPORUNITIES CFEMALE) OFFICER ANYONE CAN STAND THIS IS VOUR OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE AN IMPACT ON UNION LIFE IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, PLEASE TAKE A NOMINATION FORM FORM UNION RECEPTION NOMINATIONS CLOSE AT 5PM ON TUESDAY 23RD JANUARY JOB DESCRIPTIONS AVAILABLE AT UNION RECEPTION FOR MORE INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT SU.GENSEC@>LSE.AC.UK EVERY THURSDAY AT J.PM IN THE OLD THEATRE ISIS Education and Travel CO/\AE AND HAVE A GO IF you THINK YOU'RE HARD ENOUGH We are looking for hundreds of staff to work in our English Language Centres at Locations throughout the UK. We need Activity Leaders - Open to anyone who is patient, responsible and Fun - loving. iA^e need English Teachers - Our teachers must be studying a PGCE, B.ed with Qts. , TEFL experience or qualifications. JUNE 2001 - BUT APPLY NOW I CONTACT DETAILS BELOW KRIS HALL: 259 Oreenwich High Road? Greenwich, London, SJEIO 8NB Tel: 0208 293 1 188 Fax: 0208 293 1 199 E-mail: kris@isisgroup.co.iik Web; wvvw.isisgroup.co.uk LSESU FEE FIGHTERS KEEPING ACCESS OPEN: SAYING NO TO THE TOP-UPS lUmill CMIN TDESIinSTIHNiZra HOUGHTON STREET FEES mim ffEDNESDAY 17TH JAN @ 12PM PLANNING MEETING EVERY FRWA Y AT 12PM IN THE SOCIEUES ROOM Gen See's Column Inches New term. New ideas. The LSE Students' Union will become increasingly politicised this week. Should we trade Bunsen burner for laptop and join Imperial in holy matrimony? Who should foot the bill of Higher Education in this country? Some may argue that Unions are now increasingly becoming commercial enterprises, but we must not forget that representation is the key. Students can change things - any form of mass educated opinion cannot be discarded. Since the National March, the campaign against top-up fees has slowed somewhat. New life needs to be injected. The only way we can win the battle against privatisation is to win over public opinion. Young parents, sixth formers and the rest need to know just what 'top-up fees' are, and what they could do to this country. The government was elected on the platform of 'Education, Education, Education', yet rather than widening participation, they have set in place new barriers for students to overcome. Tuition fees, increasing drop-out rates, falling applications, increasing graduate debt and top-up fees - all show that the government is not paying proper attention to HE. I believe that the LSE Students' Union should be at the forefront of this campaign. We have one of the most active Unions in the country and a reputation to match. These days everything seems to be getting privatised - the railways, air traffic control. If we are not careful. Higher Education will be next. We need to get smart. The government needs to take note - if we don't act now, we'll pay later. With a general election set to take place in May 2001, the national student movement is calling on all of the major parties to make manifesto commitments against the imposition of top-up fees, and for the injection of much needed cash into HE. LSE does not have enough resources. The government has not invested properly in the social sciences, and we are nearing the brunt of this. We need to demand action from the government nationally. Blair needs to be pressured. Undoubtedly, top-up fees and rising course costs would have a dramatic effect on access to LSE. Talented students should not have to rely on the lottery of the scolarships system. Surely students should be admitted on the basis of their academic ability, not the size of their parent's bank balance? Isn't it about time, the student voice was heard at LSE on a large scale? We all say we are proud of LSE's founding principle of social equality -let's try to make sure principle become reality. ¡ö y iou re only as good as ycmr ust be why |^:com ^Fst. nvjmi'' . -c iFMiP v ;-, , . ,-riif^ mir Schroder Salomon Smith Barney is one of the first names in global investment banking and debt capital markets. Our Loans Syndications team arranges, structures and distributes huge, ground-breaking acquisition deals for the world's premier corporations -including the three biggest deals the European market's ever seen. And even though we face strong competition from around the world, we make it our business to be better. Much better. . Which is why we're number one in the most prestigious syndicated loan league tables. 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For further general information visit wvm.careers-ssmb.com ¡ö ; To apply, please send your resume and covering letter to us at campusl .recruitmentOssmb.com by 29tli January 2Q0T. ¡ö ¡ö ¡ö ¡ö¡ö SCHRODER SALOMONSMITHBARNEY Amemberof citigroupj News TheBeaver: Issue 530 - Jan 15th 2001 i page26| WORD UP Rumour has it that LSE students are renowned for working too hard and shagging too littie. Candice Macdonald goes in search of the truth behind the LSE experience.... ^ A scurrilous rumour has erupted among the lesser London universities (namely UCL and, yes, you' guessed it, Strand Poly), tarnishing the good name of the London School of Economics and causing more havoc in Houghton Street than a Socialist Worker protesting about...oh anything really. I accosted members of said student body (no, not like that you dirty sods!) to hear what 1 they had to say about this shocking slur on our reputation... New Zealand Nick, also known as the Rt. Hon. Nicholas Bryant Forbes is scathing of social activities at LSE, including Blighty slap and tickle. completely agree that LSE is too hard working. In New Zealand we drink much more [oh really?]. Admittedly, people do no work either, which isn't good but for the first term...hmm... I'm disappointed. I thought London would be going for it but instead there's Crush, which is crap. [Nick's command of the English language is 1 unsurpassed] More sex 1 say!" Andre ^ L a i n g ,' skateboarding impresario and worm-counting genius of the Geography department had this pearl of wisdom to impart; "Get aid! No...seriously, get laid! Compared to other universities LSE is a convent...of course, what I've done myself is a different story" said the cheeky Norfolker with a sly wink and a sheepish grin. "The trick is don't do too much work -copy the reading list onto your bibliography and get yourself . down to the bar." Another American, Libby Larson, added: "I've yet to see if English people live up to the reputation of being bad lovers" - it's all good from the American contingent V^then!__J r Sam Goodchild, former UCL dosser, now ambitious, hard-working LSE postgrad sums up the difference between the different classes of London university. "LSE students work harder, they're more motivated. First years come here to work whereas they don't at other unis. At UCL the majority just get wasted [that accounts for the huge number of I managed to ^ drag bubbly' Belgian beauty Anna Clark away from her desk in order to grill her to a light golden brown on the topics of hide the sausage, drinking and work. This is what she had to say; "Yeah, I think people do too much work at LSE. Other people think 1 work quite a lot [at this point I think it only fair to mention that Anna got up early, with possibly the worst hangover she's ever had, in order to do maths homework that wasn't due for another week - draw your own conclusions] but to be honest work comes a definite second to Scandinavian men...and Belgian men...and Russian men, come to think of it." When it comes to pints and men the lovely Laura Harvey knows how to pull but the west country lass is having none of it; "I've got a boyfriend back home but my friends tell me I've been doing a lot of bottle-peeling lately - this means I don't do a lot of ^shagging, at least not here, or work, actually, but drinking... drunken homeless people on the London streets - they're just lost UCL students. Please direct them home!]. And the foreign students pay so much to come here they can't afford a pint at Tuns prices." General Course student Catie Lindmann takes a slightly different view of LSE; "I really would prefer it if instead of pinching my ass English guys would talk to me. It would be quite a novelty..." Z' And so there It is...the truth behind the rumour. So what ^ does go on behind closed doors at LSE? Have you got caught sneaking back to your own room as the cock crows? Do we get too much work to indulge in our favourite pastimes of shagging and drinking? Our survey (of horrendously drunk rugby players In the Tuns last Wednesday) says...yes! I think more research should be done...please do write in if you have empirical findings on this matter...the Beaver will be more than happy to publish it__y Sports T/7eBeaver: Issue 530 - Jan 15th 2001 i page27| ?M' NEW AND IMPROVED FOR THE NEW YEAR New Equipment New Daily rates ¡ê2.00 Students ¡ê2.50 Staff/Alumni MTV system installed early 2001 Memberships are still available this year, but don't leave it too late! Confucious Says : "No Sport played = No Sport Reports!" Beaver THE DAWNING OF A NEW ERA LSE Sports Supremo gives birth to son on Christmas Day! Christmas day: A day where you wake up late still recovering from the exertions of the previous night. After finding the strength to rise out of bed, and noticing an old, senile woman on the TV waffling ^on about her family or something, "you then sit down to try and eat the largest meal that you will get for the next year, whilst bearing in mind that turkey is going to be your stable diet for the foreseeable future. After accomplishing this task, you make an almost fast dash for the comfy seats and relax in front of the "lastest film" with a can of beer in your hand to go with the massess of stuff currently circulating inside with dinner, causing unlimited stomach problems, and a good workout for your farting organ. However, this year was considerably different for one of the best known members of the LSE AU. As many of you will already know the Sports and Recreation Manager of LSE, Sarah Breaks, has been on maternity leave since the start of October. News came through in the last few weeks that while we were all tucking in Christmas Pud and the like, she was engaging in a task that took a little more effort. For those of you that haven't figured it out yet (the headline was a hint!), she was giving birth to a destined to be a future sports God. But in which area will he excel? Below are some possibilities in which he may be interested: New Arrival: Samuel "Baby" Breaks baby son, whom she and her husband Jon christened Samuel. Family insiders report that Sarah and Jon are both well and that the baby is fine. Sarah reported that labour was "surprisingly easy" - obviously this particular lady needs larger physical challenges than the 'walk in the park' that is having a baby! Weighing in at 81bs 10oz and being "very, very long", he is Rugby - obviously if he has any sense then this will be the sport for him. As close to the ultimate physical challenge as you can get - his Mother's determination coupled with his Father's size?! makes this sport a sure fire winner. Basketball - could this young lad break the American monopoly on this rip-off of Netball? He could well have the build ("very, very long"), but will he want to be the only one in sports class who can get the ball in the hoop first time? Cricket - one of the only sports where you get the most points for hitting the ball out of the arena! Should he develop top hand-eye coordination, coupled with the ability to actually hit the ball this could be his forte. Football - no comment. BeaverSports and the AU would like to past on it's very best wishes to Sarah and the family. Good luck Samuel for all your future sport. Welcome Back And Happy New Year Hello my pretties! On behalf of the AU Exec, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish you all a very happy first year of the new millennium for people who can count. For those film buffs who have noticed that 2001 is nothing like the film, I suggest you spend a few hours in the Tuns and create your own space oddessy. With all the Chrimbo food and grog you've quaffed, you've probably abused your body worse than a 16 year old boy who got a Mayfair subsciption from Santa's sack. Fear not however, because you can burn it all off in the newly improved LSE gym. If you thought that attempt to advertise the gym was too subtle, check out the full page ad inside! As far as sports teams go, LSE are taking names and kicking booty on all fronts. It's business as usual for our consistently excellent Mens basketball team, who are well on their way to the BUSA knockout stage. I'm told the guys are even better than their nicknames and with people like Lenas 'the slizutts are on my nizzutts' Thomas, they must be awesome. Much as it pains me to admit this, some teams have been enhanced by the presence of Scotsmen. Dean Locherie is leading the football 1st XI through the ULU cup in ruthless style not seen since the days of William Wallace. Ickle Deano, possibly the only person in AU barrel history to appear in front of the Kangaroo court charged with being too good at football, is scoring more regularly than a freebase crack addict. Similarly, Andy Macfarlane's rugby mob are tip top of the table and set to win their league. Apparently, the lads have been doing so well that there's talk of a movie based on the haggis hunter's leadership. Similarly, the mens tennis team are serving the LSE well (I can't believe I've got the bottle to put in puns that shit!), and are also lined up for BUSA progression. The hockey teams have been banging sticks harder than a psychopathic bunch of morris dancers. Even more impressive is the team spirit- the majority of the side regularly share their stomach contents with each other and anyone else within projectile range for that matter. This is slightly tarnished by the fact that their midfield dynamo Johnny Milsted is responsible for inputting all the results to the BUSA website. This explains how the boys have amassed 275 points from nine games. The hockey birds are currently enjoying a season of scorching success. Sarah Woolnough's wonder women have done the previously thought impossible and actually beat someone. When her predecessors were asked "did you get into double figures?" the natural response was "no, I was too pissed to go to Limelight" However, this year, the girls have tonked a couple of teams 10-nil and still had the energy to boogie the night away. Hurrah!! And so to the future. This term has plenty of AU stuff to look forward to. Some time in late February, the Frenchies are coming over. Still reeling from their monumentous drubbings in Paris last year, we'll be hosting the return fixtures at Fortress Berrylands. If you're one of the many who lie awake at night bitterly regretting the day you elected a bunch of people who couldn't organise a bunk up in a brothel, fear not because in week 8 you can have your vengeance. Those of you who reckon you've got what it takes (not much, in case you were wondering) can stand for election to the Exec. With the new guys in toe, we're throwing the biggest bash of the year in week 9. All those who've engraved their name in LSE sporting history are rewarded with their colours at the star studded AU ball. This truly will be a night to remember, although you'll probably need to be prompted by photographs and 20 people telling you about your 'elephant impression' or other such party tricks. Add to this the usual Wednesday night wildness and the future is complete. The four horsemen have a riding companion, it's now War, Famine; Death, Pestilence and Netball Girl!