-H- KSATRE - Opera MuSfC - Wolfmother ¦ ViSUAL ASTS - Arts and Academics ABOUT - Ubon In Part B 14 March 2006 Issue s?4t The newspaper of the LSESU NEWS4-6 Accommodation tham, Hackney ©a((y Beatiet jHIS 8nd triG Dutch iHtematiue format The dilemmas policemen face PartB nterview SPORTS23 ULU season round up Undercover pro-life t J group investigation LSE crime hits three year high ¦ £56,000 STOLEN FROM SCHOOL PREMISES IN 2005 ¦BEAVER INVESTIGATION UNCOVERS CAMPUS VIOLENCE Sam Jones Executive Editor Crime around the LSE campus has reached a three year high, The Beaver can reveal. Statistics from 2005 obtained using the Freedom of Information Act disclosed a total of 168 reported incidents around Houghton Street last year. However, a memorandum circulated to the school administration late in February cautioned that the actual figure could well exceed 200. Crimes ranged from petty thefts to violent crime and burglary, all of which have seen an increase on campus since 2002. LSE security also estimated a 36 percent rise in the total value of goods stolen and damaged around campus in the past year, at £56,000. Last year alone, students lost £36,000 of personal property to theft, the vast majority of which occurred on Houghton Street. Violent crime also spiked in 2005. According to the official school statistics, Houghton Street only experienced two reported assaults. However, an investigation by The Beaver uncovered more grievous circumstances. The year was inaugurated by a series of seven assaults occurring on LSE Students' Union (SU) premises. Five ambulances were called to the Three TXins bar on New Year's Eve to deal with six incidents of actual bodily harm and one of grievous bodily harm. Two men were taken immediately to hospital alongside a pregnant woman, who had been punched in the stomach repeatedly while standing in the queue outside. LSE SU General Secretary Rishi Madlani said "We are really pleased that since New Year's Eve 2004, when the venue had been hired out to an external promoter, that there have been no serious incidents at SU venues. New Year's Eve 2005/06 was incredibly successful and passed without incidence." Reposted crimci on eampui Crinifis on Total value of property-fSolen Increase in offetjce.-v in ISEarea On another occasion, a student was taken to hospital to receive twelve stitches to his head after being violently ejected from CRUSH, the Union's Friday student night, by a bouncer Several weeks later, violence erupted again in the Three Tuns, this time between LSE students. A crowd of Athletics Union (AU) rugby players became embroiled in a 'Western style pub brawl' according to the then SU Treasurer, Gareth Carter. When staff were finally able to eject the AA,. ¦ Graphic. ^ SBQCus Asewij ^ tx suit "Poverty wages" of LSE cleaners condemned Patrick Graham and Chris Lam Amotion was passed at last week's Union General Meeting (UGM) calling on the School's management to fully implement the London Living Wage for all staff. The Living Wage campaign aims to put pressure on all employers in the capital to improve working conditions for all employees, including a Frorr) Dafi^s pdpttb'i haunts, to its fanati cai football clubs, Barcelona is visiced by The Beaver . minimum wage of £6.70 per hour. The motion, proposed by Joey Fireman, mandates the LSE Students' Union (SU) Sabbatical Officers to actively "encourage LSE management to review its current cleaning contracts and budget." There is evidence that a large number of cleaners who work at the LSE are paid below the School's minimum in-house wage of £6.76. Cleaning staff employed by the two external companies, which provide staff to work at the School and its off-campus buildings, may be paid as little as £5.05 per hour - described by some as a 'poverty wage'. The Beaver spoke to two cleaners who wished to remain anonymous. One said "We work very hard to make sure the place is clean for students but we only get such low wages. How are we supposed to live on £5.05 per hour? This university is W'-- eampaigned for gay rights andthereduc-, tionofageof consent for gay , couptes.We interview one of the-finest LSE alumoi Raipti Wilde supposed to be so famous but no-one thinks about the cleaners." Another said "I've been working here for five years and I try and work all the hours I can because I have three daughters and I need to get money so that they can go to college. It is very difficult. Especially if you are sick because you don't get paid." Last week's motion followed another one from earlier in the year which mandated the SU General Secretary, Rishi Madlani, to investigate cleaners' contracts at the LSE. Madlani found that LSE has two cleaning contracts with the companies, Ocean Contract Cleaning Ltd., which is primarily concerned with cleaning LSE Halls of Residences, and Cromwell Cleaning which was contracted to work at offices at the School's campus. In a statement to The Beaver, an LSE spokesperson was unable to comment on the number of people employed by the two companies at the School, instead pointing to the complex nature of the contracts. However, the LSE emphasised that the cleaning contracts were in line with both European Union competitive tendering regulations and the LSE's Financial Regulations. The spokesperson also highlighted the fact that those Features page he Beaver^, ^ap Oil /ier fefshrJiti Ow. ^^5 ai xhr -f- 02|Seaver| 14 March 2006 o o SOCIETIE^OFFICER RE-ELECfi|N Krebbers AN1i#SAR re-con-test position ACC0MM0D4JI0N The : 'lse halls af» how ffeftno private housing 'RACIST'J)ON Leeds UnS sity refuses to fire lecrih^r accused of making racial comments ULU Review, Question Time event covered; Students prefer to live at honie; Hov^d leaving LSE; Catering Services donate money to RAG week Student representation on the DSC; Council to announce new Chairperson Tanya Rajapakse News Editor Students at the LSE will now be able to have a say in the selection of the School's directors following an agreement between the School and student representatives. The decision to allow the LSE Students' Union (SU) General Secretary to sit on the Directorship Selection Committee (DSC) was reached at an LSE Coimcil meeting held last Tuesday, where student representatives Natalie Black, James Caspell and Rishi Madlani were in attendance. The move is seen to be a great step forward for students with Caspell commenting that it "puts the LSE ahead of any other major university in terms of student representation." Caspell told The Beaver,"! am delighted. This secures crucial student representation by having our views considered in appointing future Directors, who typically oversee the education of 30,000 students in the role." "Myself, Rishi, Natalie and the other Student Governors have worked hard all year to voice our concerns regarding lack of representation on this committee and we have worked in the common interest of all students to fight for this vitM representation." "I AM DELIGHTED. THIS SECUBES CRUCIAL STUDENT . BEPEESENTATIDN BY HAVING : QUE VIEWS CONSIDERED M : . APPOINTING FUTURE DmECTORS, WHO TYPICALLY " OVEBSEE THE EDUCATION OF 30,000 STUDENTS IN THE HOLE." LSE SU General Secretaiy Madlani said, "We are very pleased the School has agreed to student representation on another very important selection committee. It is paramount that student views are consulted on all issues, particularly something as important as this." The lack of student input into the selection of the School's director led to riots in 1969 following the appointment of Dr Walter Adams. Adams had previously served at the University College of Rhodesia and was accused by students to have shown support for the country's white-minority government. The protests led to the arrest of 25 students, the resignation of the SU General Secretary and SU Treasurer, and also the dismissal of two staff members who were allegedly the ringleaders of the protest. A recent controversy surrounded current director Sir Howard Davies. Davies' consideration of undertaking a non-executive directorship with oil and gas company TotalFinaElf led to student protests and a petition which forced him to decline the offer. TotalFinaElf was seen to support the Burmese totalitarian regime through heavy investments in the country. Meanwhile Lord Grabiner QC will step down from the post as chair of Council, the governing body of the School. The new Chair is expected to be announced this Thursday. Living Wage motion passed Continued from page 1 employed directly by the LSE were already being paid a minimum of £6.76 per hour and said that "the School is committed to ensuring that its employees receive fair pay for the work they do." In response to this, Alice Brickley, who seconded the motion told The Beaver, "There is a contradiction between the standards applied to in-house workers and those who are contracted out. We would suggest that as LSE is the client, they are in the position to resolve this contradiction in favor of a Living Wage for all workers on campus." Brickley went on to say that the current situation was "the most bizarre slur and contradiction on an institution which is so actively engaged in 'knowing the causes of things' such as poverty and underdevelopment." Regarding the motion, Brickley said, "Perhaps it is a challenge to the administration to also take greater responsibility, in the interests of the reputation of the LSE, and most importantly of all of those for whom LSE is a place of work but especially the lowest paid and socially marginalised." There was opposition to the first motion passed in November, which was echoed in last week's UGM. LSE student Matt Sinclair claimed that the 'living wage' could in fact create unemployment by pricing out labour. He also stated that many cleaners may have more than one job. Sinclair told The Beaver "My point was rather that other members of their families worked or they had other forms of income (existing benefits)." He continued, "I am not against helping people on low incomes but providing benefits to those in work is a far more effective means which does not tend to unemployment. These are more subtle forms of the negative income tax Friedman supported for a time." Fireman claimed, "Of the many cleaners we've been speaking with, the only ones who have a second job have a second cleaning job for the same wage. More often, though, their job at LSE is their only job, and they have trouble keeping a decent number of hours." "We doubt that the opposition at the UGM had ever spoken with cleaners before pontificating on their work lives." Responding to questions at the UGM about the cleaners being members of unions. Fireman told The Beaver, "Almost none of the cleaners are members of a union, which exacerbates their inability to themselves pursue better conditions or speak-out when treated unfairly. Unions say they don't have the resources to co-opt cleaning staff, largely because many are limited in their English ability." The Living Wage campaign at LSE is stUl in its infancy and have not yet become a formal society in the Union. Photo: Laleh Kazeiui-Veisari. "We doubt that the opposition at the UGM had ever spoken with cleaners before ponttfi-cating on their work lives." -LSE student Joey Fireman Howard Davies ponders the wisdom of LSE expanding overseas Adrian Li Writing in The Independent on 9 March, Howard Davies reflected on the wisdom of universities having overseas campuses. In an article titled 'Do universities need overseas campuses?' the Director contemplated the model adopted by Monash University in Melbourne - which also has a Monash Centre in a small shop-front next to the long-closed Strand tube station. Davies acknowledges that overseas campuses are a serious issue, noting that Monash University can be found in parts of Asia and South Africa whilst British universities "have set up satellite operations in China or elsewhere" and "American schools have established operations in Europe or in the Gulf." He wrote, "Some are 'semester abroad' facilities, which are not competing for local students. Others do, however, like Chicago Business School which recently moved its European headquarters from Barcelona to London." Davies said that he accepted that the LSE has no remote campus and was "snugly housed in a warren of buildings just north of Aldwych" but also asked in the article, "Are we missing a trick by remaining anchored to our local base?" In the article, Davies commented that "Certainly it would not be easy for the LSE to replicate its London 'campus' [overseas]... maybe that would be possible in Moonee Ponds, but a community of scholars cannot be uprooted and transplanted or replicated at will." While Davies acknowledged that there are those who believe that overseas engagements of this kind will be indispensable to the "university of the future," he believed that universities which wish to maintain a position in overseas markets will need to "add more value locally - following the logic adopted by multinationals in other industries." However, Davies also conceded that it was unlikely that any country would want "a sizeable proportion of its student body educated in local subsidiaries of overseas universities." The LSE has gone down the route of partnerships with local universities through the teaching of courses on their campuses, or running joint degree programmes in which students spend time in both countries. Currently, the LSE has partnerships with Sciences Po in Paris, Columbia University in New York, and Peking University in China. A former student member of Council, speaking to The Beaver, revealed that there was certainly a consensus that LSE would not be going down the route of having overseas campuses because this would be detrimental to the brand. Joint degrees were generally seen as a very positive thing, as long as they give access to new 'markets' and are with world-class universities. A report in The Warwick Boar, the Student Union newspaper of Warwick University, revealed that in addition to Warwick University, the LSE was also approached by the Singapore Economic Development Board to build a campus in Singapore. This approach was rejected by the LSE. LSE Crime statistics Continued from page 1 Total ptomber of crimes reported Year 2001 - 132 2002 - 174 2003 - 166 2004 - 164 2005 - 168 Estimated cash loss to School from criminal damage Year 2001 - £0 2002 - £150 2003 - £1200 2004 - £800 2005 - £3000 rowdy students from the bar, cameras on Houghton Street recorded AU members as they gave chase to an unidentified individual. Two sources described how they watched as the student was knocked to the ground and urinated on by the LSE AU members at the foot of Kingsway outside the Subway sandwich chain. In its official report, the school conceded that many such incidents were likely to go unreported throughout the year "We are aware that there are [also] some unreported alcohol fuelled assaults, possibly three cases a year", it concluded. In a statement, Bernie Taffs, the LSE's head of security, said that he considered the campus "a safe place with hardly any serious crime, such as serious assault, GBH, rape or high value burglary, reported in eleven years." Indeed, relative to the rest of London and other universities in the UK, the LSE's crime rate is quite low. Taffs stressed that all crime was nonetheless imder-standably distressing for its victims. Crime statistics acquired by The Beaver from the Metropolitan Police indicate a far higher level of criminal activity in the Aldwych area than elsewhere in Westminster. The ward of St James's -home to the LSE - reported 1,187 thefts and 275 incidences of violence against person per 1,000 residents over the course of the past twelve months, far higher than borough averages. Westminster council reported 218 thefts and 50 incidences of violence against person per 1000 residents over the same period. In addition, sexual offences have increased by nearly 30 percent in St James. Archive photo of Davies Photograph: Laleii Kazemi-Veisari NEWS IBeaverl 14 March 2006 03 Societies Officer race to be re-conducted Afsar (left) and Krebbers will re-contest the election Patrick Cullen Senior Reporter The Constitution and Steering Committee (C&S) has decided to rule the election for Societies Officer unconstitutional, and therefore void. A re-election will be held this Thursday and Friday. There were two candidates in the race for Societies Officer; Arthur Krebbers and Shayaan Afsar. The decision was based on the fact that the campaign of Afsar, who came second behind Krebbers, may have LSE Debate Team shine Nastaran Tavakoli-Far The LSE SU Debate Society enjoyed success at the Manchester IV debating competition this weekend. The team, comprising of Debate Society President Ali Dewji and Matt Sinclair, won the final - with Bristol, Tilbury House and Birmingham being the other teams to reach the final. The motion of the final was 'This house believes that Bush and Blair should be tried for war crimes', wherein Dewji and Sinclair argued as the second proposition team. This finishes an extremely successful year for the Debate Society, with Dewji and Sinclair's first-place success at the Oxford IV in November being the other major highlight of the year. Another LSE team was also highly successful, this time at the Graveson Cup held at King's College. Around 40 teams took part in this novice tournament in December with Prettha Gopalan and Ranil Jayawardena winning on behalf of the LSE. Furthermore, the Debate Society hosted the LSE Open debating tournament last weekend. Over 80 teams took part, making it the second biggest British debating tournament after the Oxford IV. The LSE Open was also the only debating tournament in the UK this year with no registration fee required, a result of sponsorship secured from the law firm CMS Cameron McKenna. been prejudiced by the accidental exclusion of his manifesto from the candidate manifesto booklet. The error, which occurred on the first day of voting, was caused as a result of a mix-up on the part of the SU Communications Officer, Chris Heathcote. Afsar maintains that by spending time searching for Returning Officer Doug Oliver and Heathcote, to inform them of the error, he lost campaign time on Houghton Street -which C&S decided could have adversely affected his chances. Afsar told The Beaver that he has heard people did not vote for him because he did not Pnotograph : Chris Colvin have a manifesto and it made him appear "incompetent and uninterested in doing this job." Speaking about the decision, Krebbers told The Beaver, "It is of course not ideal to have to revamp a campaign at the end of term, after having already been called the official winner by the Returning Officer. I hope as many people as possible will turn out for this election." He continued, "I think it is widely conceived that some injustice had been done to his [Afsar's] campaign, and it is quite dissatisfying that this happened just after a motion had been passed mandating the Communications Officer to take care of the booklet. Obviously, the scale of the damage done and the likely impact is debatable." After a complaint by Afsar and a one-and-a-half hour long meeting, C&S ruled that the absence of his manifesto was in violation of the SU's constitutional mandate to provide a fair and equal stance for all candidates. Heathcote is responsible for producing the manifesto booklet. He inadvertently omitted Afsar's manifesto as a result of the original manifesto being delivered to his junk e-mail folder. Following the discovery and rectification of the mistake, only half of Afsar's manifesto was published. The updated version of the booklet - with the full manifesto - was made available late on Thursday morning, the closing day for voting, but ran out a few hours later resulting in old versions being circulated once more for a few hours. Of the options open to the committee, "only one was feasible," according to Adrian Beciri, the Chair. This was to declare the election unconstitutional, the result void and to hold the elections again in as close an atmosphere to the original as possible. The decision was disputed by Oliver who maintained that the correct manifesto was available all day Thursday, except for "about 40 to 45 min- utes when we ran out and people mistakenly handed out the old ones." Before the decision by C&S, Oliver had told The Beauer "...elections are decided by so many factors including: campaigns, name recognition, hustings etc. so it would be wrong to say that without the manifesto booklet, Krebbers 100 vote majority would have been swung." However Heathcote said that he accepted that it was "a big mistake" and that it will be "impossible to [completely] recreate that election." Heathcote also agreed with C&S's decision to re-run the election. Heathcote stated that the manifesto booklet was "new this year ... it took a long time to do [and the] mistake was due to Hotmail randomly filtering 13 e-mails into the junk folder." Upon realising the mistake, Heathcote said that he immediately took steps to attempt to limit the impact of the missing manifesto by "recalling 600 booklets [and] correcting it on the web... I clarified the issue on all the new manifestos." The re-election will be held this Wednesday and Thursday in the Quad from 10am-6:30pm. As it is a reelection nominations will not be re-opened. ULU Sabbaticals fail to impress UGM Chris Lam News Editor Two of the acting presidents of the University of London Union (ULU) visited the Union General Meeting (UGM) last Thursday. Samuel Thomas, Vice President (VP) Finance, Services and Operations, and Laura Bigg-Wither, VP Sports and Societies, spoke briefly about ULU and took questions. Following the resignation of ULU President Stewart Halforty in November, the remaining Sabbatical Officers -Thomas, Bigg-Wither and VP Welfare and Student Affairs Nicky Grant - have shared presidential duties amongst them. Thomas, supported by Bigg-Wither, talked about the current ULU elections and the future of the institution. The pair received a mixed reaction from the audience - complete with paper-throwing. Speaking to The Beaver about his visit to the UGM, Thomas said "It is not a format I am particularly familiar with. It seemed entertaining, but not particularly conducive to debate." ULU was criticised by the audience regarding the low turnout and lack of publicity for ULU elections. Many pointed to the lack of ULU presence on campus. Thomas told The Beaver "a lot of the work ULU carries out is behind the scenes. For example it has been ULU's negotiation that has secured a pilot for an online application for student oyster cards, which should be rolled out to a number of colleges from next year." "Posters advertising the elections at ULU were sent to LSE Students' Union (SU), and details were given in ULU council reports. We are, however, reliant on the college's SU to help with the advertising, which can be confusing when there are also college SU elections taking place." Responding to Thomas' comments on ULU elections, LSE SU General Secretary Rishi Madlani said, "We did try to raise the profile of ULU elections through the Global e-mail. ULU have a lot to do with their elections seeing as that turnout for our elections is much higher." This year over 1800 students voted in the LSE SU elections compared to 1000 who voted in last year's ULU elections. Asked about the future of ULU - given Imperial College's recent admission that they intend to leave the University of London - Thomas attempted to assure the UGM of ULU's existence. He later told The Beaver, "Imperial have stated openly that there are a range of central services they wish to maintain for their students on leaving the University of London. Their highest priority was access to ULU. The structure of ULU is likely to change over the coming years, but it will continue to thrive." Madlani said, "The future for ULU is uncertain, but we're at pains that our students aren't left out should it [ULU] disband." Thomas also told The Beaver that the motion of 'no confidence' of Luca Manfredi, the former Council Chair whose homophobic comments led to a mass outcry, "demonstrates ULU's commitment to stamping out homophobia." Manfredi wrote on a public forum that he would shoot his gay son, as reported in The Beaver issue 626. Meanwhile Madlani said that it is "important that our elected representatives of ULU do come to the UGM even though it was so late in the year" Online voting for this year's ULU elections closes today at 12 noon, and results announced on Wednesday, 7pm at ULU. UGM izesat- veisan Bigg-Wither (left) and Thomas Photograph: Union Jack When the Chair turns up drunk and wearing last night's tux, you know you're in for the season finale. Unfortunately for Jack, the last UGM of the year, like the modern day Houghton Street hack, did not live up to its predecessors. Majority ruled (...will we ever learn?) and the ULU chiefs entered our hallowed turf - albeit appearing to have been abducted on the way in and replaced by opportunists on day release that made our own Fabb four look like finalists on the Krypton Factor. Motions rattled through the UGM faster than Carys Hilton through a party full of hacks, and with about the same amount of resistance from members of the union. As with all emergencies, it came down to a Fireman and the extreme right-wing to restore public order. Mutt Sink-air enlightened the union about the double-lives of LSE cleaners, who moonlight as high-flying, high-earning executives. Jack looks forward to the day when Mutt himself is working nights as a single mum just to get him out of the office. All this talk of the future is getting Jack a little teary-eyed about the prospect of a UGM without the likes of Sink-air and his fellow mass-debaters. The shadow of Grandad Cole and his hat has been cast over the front row of the Old Theatre for more years than Jack cares to remember. No longer the sultry tones of Fishi Poonani, or Samantha Gad batting her eyelids at the balcony boys to distract them from the latest censoring of BeaverSports. And how Jack will miss his weekly dose of his two favourite feisty UGMinatrixes, Lady Black, and Basket-Casey-Marie. Still, the memory of them will keep Jack amused, and aroused, through many a long Thursday afternoon until October. Somehow a stern warning from Shhhhhhhhian never had quite the same effect. Farewell too to the balcony boys - Jack wishes them a fun time in (James) Caspella, and looks forward to seeing many of them back in October, resitting this year. And so, the time has come for Jack to hang up his pen for another year, and depart with Mrs Jack to his top-secret summer residence in the south of France. Soon a new year, and a new batch of innocent freshers will be upon us, wide-eyed at Jack's sage experience and guidance through the haUs of our exulted establishment. For those of you who have resisted the temptation to dream up a spurious interest in post-graduate studies to prolong the your time here, adieu. It's a big scary world out there, but if you ever had the courage to brave the Old Theatre stage, you'll be ready for anything they can throw at you, and Jack doesn't mean paper. 04 leaver 114 March 2006 NEWS From halls to private accommodation^ Postcode Percentage of sample Average reiit per week: (Nov '05) Percentage change in rent NWl 6.67% £107 . 4.8% WC! 6,19% £121 14.7% N1 : 5.30%, £lt)6 4.0% 4.30% £84 : ^ 0.1% SEl 3.97% £102 : 21.3% SE14 ¦ 3.74% £81 z ¦18.4% El 3.17% £95 SE5 2.88% \ £80 0.6% 2.60% ¦£125 19.9% SE15 2.41% £80 22.0% N7 2.36% £98 -3.2% SE16 2.36% £95 26.7% W2 2.17% £115 9.8% E8 1.75% £93 ..... : 4.3% NW3 ¦1.75# £105 4.5% SEl 7 1.75% Miisi 14.i% £3^ 1.56% £87 0.1% - mje' 1.51% £108: 20.5% E2 - . 1.42% £94 , :Qi% 1.42% £92 70% Saabira Chaudhuri Senior Reporter Private accommodation or halls, en-suite or not, cost or distance, size or security - these are just some of the questions that plague LSE students searching for the perfect place to live at the beginning of each academic year. There are currently twelve sites offering accommodation solely to LSE students. These accommodate more than 3400 students. There are also eight intercollegiate halls, which accommodate students from the LSE as well as the other colleges of the University of London. Two new and one newly refurbished halls of residence, which will offer over 900 extra bed spaces to LSE students, will come into operation from September 2006. Paul Trivett, Departmental Manager of the LSE Accommodation Office, told The Beaver, "High Holborn and Grosvenor House are by far the most popular LSE halls amongst students. Location and cost seem to be the most over-riding concerns." Most students aim to live within Zone One without having to pay too much. Some of the main advantages of living in halls are; relatively good value for money; large community; good facilities such as a computer room, laundry and bar; free telephone to other halls; fast internet connection; cheap food; good maintenance; weekly cleaning (in most halls) and the fact that it is easier to meet people. The LSE Accommodation Office, which has now moved to Tower Two, is the place to go if one needs help with accom- modation enquiries. The office organises housing talks in conjunction with the University of London Housing Services. It produces and organises on-line listings of landlords, private sector residences and agencies. During June to September the office also runs a separate Private Housing Office, normally in the computer room in St Clements Building. This consists of staff who provide advice and also offer a freephone system to landlords or agents during that period. Price of a single room per week (best PRICE): Bankside - £114 Carr Saunders - £90 Butler's Wharf - £92 Beatrice Webb - £105 High Holborn - £135 Grosvenor House - £130 Rosebery - £89 Passfield - £123 While choosing the right hall is an issue for most new students, continuing students must generally resort to private accommodation. According to research conducted by The Beaver, official figures reveal that whUe all first-year undergraduates and General Course students are offered a place in halls if they apply, only about l/5th of continuing undergraduates and 76 percent of applying postgraduates get a place. The process of looking for private accommodation is a daimting task for many. One student told The Beaver, "I'm dreading looking for private accommodation. I've heard a lot of bad things about how expensive things are and I'm not looking forward to the hassle of looking either." In terms of private accommodation, Paul Trivett reports "Holborn, Westminster, Camden and Islington seem to be the primary areas of choice. The Accommodation Office never recommends any area, but prefers students to make up there own mind." "We point to the University of London's Housing Services webpage which offers a breakdown description of each area in London and has comments attributed to students who have lived there." In a listing compiled by the University of London Housing Services of, the top 50 postcodes in order of popularity, Camden/Chalk Farm ranked first, followed by Bloomsbury, Islington/Kings Cross, and Finsbury Park/Green Lanes. The survey used a sample size of 2,115 UL students. Students have listed the main advantages of private accommodation as having more privacy, a communal space, the ability to make one's ovm rules and have house parties, cooking facilities and a private bathroom. However the drawbacks include that it is harder to make friends, one has to clean one's own house' and toilets, and there is no access to a bar or cheap, catered food within one's own residence as many LSE halls offer. In an interview with The Beaver, third year student AmjedYoxmis said that in his experience private accommodation is not always the best option. "The main drawback is that I lack the peace of mind that you get by living in halls. TOP 20 POSTCODES FOR STUDENT HOUSING IN LONDON ^ ^ N21 > N18 NW11 k NW2 NW10 wc;f EC4 Cpf; W j m 13 < W3 m ..... ¦¦¦ I w ¦' Jsm 14 =&< SW1 SB/' 24 22 y SW18 2 I ceo'i V 5t23 \ \ r J SEe ¦ SW17 SW19 itV KSc SWi6 \ I SE19 . SW20 wmmm niver«» FipRINGSG Barbiean \lhgh Hoi bom (jrosvcnor itSluiJifrcfew ;uusc ^ut .iackf/.kirs Bankside eawt NGKcapss- pr.ou|n^ From left to right: rent levels across different postcodes in London & the position of seven LSE h The cost is usually all inclusive of utility bills and rent, so you can be sure of most of the costs." "However, what do you do in private accommodation when you are hit by a winter heating bill of £250? Do you really want to pay more than your share of the costs when one renegade resident is leaving the heating on all week?" Students recommended that the best ways to go about finding private accommoda- tion is to post or keep an eye out for accommodation or flatmate wanted ads at the LSE, calling agents and using find-aproperty.co.uk. While being close to the LSE is an important factor for many, it is important to keep in mind that with proximity comes problems. A survey conducted by Housing Services, which used a sample size of almost 1000 students, revealed that students living in Zones Two and Three were reportedly far more satisfied that those living in Zone One. The Housing Services explained, "Not only were students who lived in Travel Zones Two and Three paying less for their accommodation, but they were also far more satisfied with the accommodation that they did find, think this is because stude^t^ who choose to move further out, become much choos^^r^ about the accommodation that they take, including the area. NEWS IBeaver|i4 March 2006 105 student housing examined £6 SE28 Y" SE« ^ SE9 mrMf^gn ^L=lW.E:R®0i o Sutlers Wharf Graphics: Chris Daiiicls whereas students who want to live close to College have to be prepared to take anything." The UL Housing Services also pointed out that while students often believe living closer wiU make up the difference in rent by saving on travel costs, in fact "the difference in rents for similar properties between Zone One and Zone Three is £40 per week." ' "The difierence in travel costs on the other hand is £4." Bankside Hall LSE's largest hall, Bankside is situated within a 25-minute walk of the School on the South Bank of the Thames. Advantages: large rooms; music room with piano and sofa; TV room with projector screen; biggest hall so lots of people; DVD library; cheap food. Disadvantages: lack of commtmity due to large size; poor local shopping amenities. "At Bankside we're paying around £25 less than people at Holborn for a room around twice as big. It's really good value for money..." (Mahmoud Altamash, International Relations.) Carr Saunders LSE's smallest hail, Carr Saunders is situated off Tottenham Court Road, about a 25-minute walk away from the School. Advantages: One of LSE's cheapest halls; small size fosters strong, community; infamous hall parties; mock-tudor bar; convenient; location; cheap food. :: Disadvantages: lack of amenities and facilities; slow, unisliabte computers in computer room; complaints about food in Tower Restaurant; contract does not cover vacation periods. Butler's Wharf Butler's Wharf is a medium-sized residence divided into self-catering flats situated about 25 minutes away from LSE by tube or bus. It is a 'post-graduates preferred' hall. Advantages: modem; flats with balconies; common room with pool and fuse-ball table, vending machines, leather sofas and TV. Disadvantages: dull, quiet neighbourhood; no bar; some have argued it has a poor community spirit. Great Dover Street (newly renamed Beatrice Webb House) Situated near Borough underground, about a 40-minute walk from LSE, Great Dover Street houses about 450 students and is divided into self-catering flats. Advantages: new common room; huge kitchens; your own bath-s room; good value for money; a fridge in every room Disadvantages: distance from LSE; relatively unsafe neighbourhood; and argued lack of community spirit. "It is difficult to foster a real sense of community at Great Dover Street simply because of the flat system that requires you to let somebody in with your key every time they want to visit." (Dan English, Economics student.) High Holbom A five-minute walk away from LSE, High Holbom accommodates about 450 students in self-catering flats. Advantages: great location - close to LSE and to the centre of London; kitchen facilities; nice bar. Disadvantages: poor sense of community; expensive. "The best part about living here is its location. It's close to school but also close to Leicester Square, Piccadilly and of course it's in Zone One on the tube so you can get to all the major places within about ten minutes." (Nilufer Lakhani, Economics student.) Grosvenor House This 'post-graduate preferred' haU has 169 rooms, consisting of small, self-contained studios, with private toilet and shower facil-; ities and a mini-kitchen. Advantages; new, excellent location; great facilities. Disadvantages: relatively expensive compared to the other halls;; no ban " . Rosebery Rosebery is a medium-sized hall situated in Islington, about a 25-minute walk from the LSE. Advantages: excellent community spirit; good bar; interesting location with lots of restaurants; cheap food. Disadvantages: lack of noise restrictions (it can allegedly get quite loud); small kitchens shared by more than 20 people. "Rosebery has a fantastic social atmosphere. It's easy to meet people and there's always bound to be somebody in the bar." (Patrick Graham, Law.) Private accommodation All around London Advantages: The ability to choose where in London you want to live, at the price you want to pay; greater freedom and flexibility when you're there with the possibility of sharirig with one's cho-: sen housemates. Disadvaotages: difficult landlords; rent levels vaiy across London (see table). Arguably harder to make friends; less securi-1y; lack of cleaner; no access to a; bar or cheap, catered food Within one's own residence as many LSE halls offer. Students prefer to live at home Ksenia Glebova According to a new survey of British imder-graduates an increasing number of students are opting to live at home while studying at university. The Times newspaper reports. Declaring the image of "the all-night student who parties until dawn and lives oft stale pizzas and black coffee in university digs" a myth, the survey - commissioned by institutional catering company Sodexho -says the average undergraduate lives at home, works part-time, commutes to lectures and pursues social-life off campus. The survey found that more than half of Britain's 2,247,440 students were working for up to 20 hours a week and a fifth abstained from all alcohol. The findings do not come as a surprise in the light of mounting fears of student debt due to an increase in tuition fees expected this autumn. For enti:y in 2006, LSE intends to charge tuition fees for UK and European Union students of £3,000 per year for all undergraduate programmes. Students will be able defer payment of the fees until after graduation. At the time of going to press, the LSE undergraduate prospectus for 2006/07 estimated undergraduate tuition fees for entry in 2007 to be in the region of £3,075 per year for UK and EU undergraduates and £11,874 per year for new overseas undergraduates. The survey also revealed that the rent paid by a majority of students feU within the range of £61 and £70 per week. At the LSE, on-campus residence fees start at £45.92 per week for a 'tiny' single room at the Silver WaUc residence and go up to £175 per week for a one-bedroom flat in Anson Road hall for the 2005/06 session. Universities UK said that the Sodexho survey results are in line with their own survey findings, particularly concem-ing the fall in alcohol spending by one fifth since 2001. However, the new survey findings have only minimal implications for the School since around 70 percent of LSE students come from overseas, leaving only a very small minority of UK students whose parents live in or near London and thus in a position to live at home. QT Debate at LSE James Bull Senior Reporter Last Tuesday the LSE Students' Union (SU) Question Time Society held a panel discussion entitled "Great Leader or Great Disappointment? How will history judge Tony Blair?" The panel included former Labour Transport Minister Glenda Jackson, Political Editor for The Spectator Peter Oborne, Political Correspondent for The Economist John Pidreaux, and former LSE student and author of The Blair Effect, Anthony Seldon. The debate was chaired by QT Society Chair Alex George. Alex Finnigan, President of the LSE Labour Party, asked the panel "is Tony Blair's legacy David Cameron" in the same way that "Thatcher's legacy was Blair?" Jackson responded first saying that there may be "another Conservative Election two years down the line" and that we should not necessarily assume that Cameron will be a greater success than any other Tory leader of recent times. She also added a defence of Blair's remodelling of the Labour Party along Thatcherite lines commenting, "we [The Labour Party] had to change... we were virtually unelectable." Seldon responded, with his typical calm and matter-of-fact manner, saying Blair was indeed Thatcher's legacy as he had "jettisoned everything the Labour Party had ever stood for." He added that Cameron may well be Blair's legacy as the Conservatives have always changed their policies to become electable - "it is what the Conservatives have always done" and it is, "what Cameron has done." When the question of "will history judge Blair well on the economy?" was put to the panel Pidreaux said that Blair had "continued the positive [economic] trend" that he inherited and that interestingly Labour was now "the most trusted party on the economy." Oborne remarked that linking Blair to the economy was the "kind of economic illiteracy usually associated with the LSE"and that it was only Thatcher's "supply side reforms of the 1980's" which had "influential and long lasting consequences" for the economy. At this point a member of the audience pointed out that it was in fact advisers from the LSE who developed Thatcher's supply side reforms. This assertion was met with a round of applause from the audience and an apology from Obome. LSE SU International Students' Officer, Farhan Islam, asked "is the legacy of Blair going to be a Middle Eastern civil war?" Seldon called the whole intervention a "vile kind" of "western racist Christian supremacy", but Blair's "long time" official biographer also added "I don't think Blair is a knowing liar." Jackson gave the strongest condemnation of Blair saying the war was "an absolute unmitigated disaster, Iraq was no threat to us." She went on to say she . ,was^?'ashamed" of her govem-'¦¦%^^:'and if Iraq was Blair's legacy he "deserved it." Seldon finished by pointing out that Blair had not delivered on his main policy areas - The Environment, Education, The NHS and Europe. 06 leaver 114 March 2006 NEWS Racism or Freedom of speech? Ruchika Tulshyan Leeds University has refused to sack a lecturer accused of using racial slur, citing right of free speech and personal opinions. Dr Frank Ellis, lecturer in Russian and Slavonic Studies at Leeds University, told the Leeds Student newspaper that he believed in the theory that black people are intellectually inferior to whites, quoting scientific data to support his assertions. Dr Ellis claimed that, "...beyond any reasonable doubt there is a persistent gap in average black and white average intelligence." Students at Leeds University are seeking for the university to sack the lecturer, while preparations for boycotting lectures and on-cam-pus protests are in full swing. The Leeds University Union has stated, "We believe that he is bringing disgrace to the University by using his status to try to legitimise racism. It is unacceptable that someone promoting racist views should be given a position of influence in the University." The University described Dr Ellis' views as "abhorrent" but has decided not to sack him, stating that he has the right to express his personal opinions. A spokeswoman furthered the argument by saying there was no evidence that his extreme ideas were affecting his teaching. Leeds University has also issued a statement saying that there is no indication that he has treated his colleagues or students in a "prejudicial or discriminatory manner." Despite the outrage amongst students and colleagues within the university, Dr Ellis is determined to maintain his statements, following up with a second article in the Leeds Student claiming, "Multiculturalism is doomed to fail...because it is based on the lie that...all races and cultures are equal." Not a stranger to controversy, he has been quoted in the University newspaper as saying the British National Party is "too socialist" for his liking. Calling for an investigation into Dr Ellis' teaching methods. President of the National Union of Students (NUS), Kat Fletcher, dismissed his beliefs as "academic nonsense." The issue has caused much distress in the wider community, and the Commission for Racial Equality has stepped in to look into the matter. An LSE spokesperson commented that it was up to Leeds University to take the action it deemed fit in this situation. In the issued statement, the School emphasised that "[The] LSE is committed to eliminating unlawful discrimination and the promotion of equality of opportunity and good race relations between people of different racial backgrounds." The spokesperson continued, "We would take any complaints about any kind of harassment very seriously, and expect people within the LSE community to treat each other with respect at all times." Leeds University has yet to disclose if they intend to take any disciplinary action against Dr Ellis. They were unavailable for comment for this article. li Photograph: Chris Coh iii LSE Catering presented the Students' Union (SU) with a cheque for £3567 in aid of RAG week. the school made a donation of lop for every sale made in its catering outlets, with the donation being 20p for sales at The GaRRICK. Shami Chakrabarti on 'Terrorism and the Rule of Law' Muin Boase Archive photo of Chakrabarti Photograph: Nige! Stead Shami Chakrabarti, Director of Liberty and a former LSE student, gave a speech entitled 'Terrorism and the Rule of Law' last Wednesday. Chakrabarti began her speech with the chilling words of Sidique Khan, one of the 7/7 bombers. "Our words have no impact upon you, therefore I'm going to talk to you in a language that you understand." She said "terrorists mistake our society as devoid of any values, ideas and beliefs. They are wrong. We must therefore fight terrorism without compromising the very values they seek to destroy." She warned that a government that runs the state in a "permanent state of emergency" poses a greater threat than terrorism to the principles of "liberty, justice and equality." Chakrabarti believes that the post-war Universal Declaration of Human Rights provides the best framework for modem states to safeguard these values. This is because it was drafted by those who had witnessed the destruction and "inhumanity" caused by"total-itarian governments." Citing Article Five, she said there could be "no compromise on torture" and that "human rights are not just for our own people but all human beings." She attacked the recent legislation outlawing the "glorification of terrorism" because she believes that it could lead to "speech offences" which would make advocating the "overthrow of Mugabe or assassination of Saddam Hussein unlawful." She said that the law failed to "isolate terrorists" and instead risked criminalising innocent people. "We need more and better intelligence, not more laws," she said. She also supported the use of tapping as evidence in courts to prosecute terrorists. Chakrabarti graduated from LSE and went on to become a barrister at the Home Office. Increasingly disillusioned with her work she left to join Liberty, the civil liberties organisation, in 2001 and within two years had become its director. Her regular media appearances have made her a favoiirite public figure and she was recently voted by a Channel Four poll as the second most 'inspiring political figure' in Britain. She even has a song written about her by 'The Dastards', an indie rock group. Last week LSE announced that Chakrabarti would be serving on the School's board of governors. Her talk concluded a series of lectures hosted by the Law Department and Clifford Chance, in association with JUSTICE, Davies leaving? Laura Deck Senior Reporter Sir Howard Davies has yet to confirm that he wiU sign up for another term as the Director of the London School of Economics, fueling speculation that he is intending to leave to take up a position with the IMF or World Bank. A columnist in The Observer reported that Harvard President Lawrence Summers' name had surfaced as a possible replacement for Davies. Summers' is due to resign from his post on 30 June 2006. Summers - who once sparked controversy by claiming that fewer women succeeded in scientific careers as a result of inherent differences between men and women -spoke at the LSE in November 2003 shortly after Davies became Director. He said during his lecture "Europe arid America in the 21®^ Century" that he had "spent many happy and enlightening hours here at the LSE." Meanwhile Davies has authored an article in The Independent on 9 March in which he mentioned a discussion he had "the other day" with Summers when he was "over in Europe to look after his alumni." Davies wrote that he spoke with Summers about the current state and future of the LSE and ideas concerning remote campuses, joint degree programmes, and connections with local imiversities. In response to an inquiry from The Beaver, the LSE Press Office responded that "the Director was appointed for a five-year term in 2003. He has every intention of fulfilling that commitment. Beyond that, it is a matter for the Chairman and the Council." Before coming to the LSE in October 2003, Davies was chairman of the Financial Services Authority (FSA), the United Kingdom's financial regulator. Prior to his work at the FSA he was a Deputy Governor of the Bank of England and Director General of the Confederation of British Industry before that. University of London Lib Dem Society launched Amy Williams The launch of a new University of London (UL) Liberal Democrat Society took place on Monday 6^'^ March at Portcullis House in Westminster, helped by the efforts of LSE students. The society aims to represent Liberal Democrat students in the wider context of the UL. Benjamin Biggs, the Chair of the Liberal Democrats at LSE and co-President of the newly formed group, said that the plan had originally been to join together several universities' and colleges' Liberal Democrat societies but had found there were problems. The idea to find a UL wide society was a collaborative effort between the Liberal Democrat societies in King's CoUege and the LSE. Biggs said: "...the biggest thing we were looking to come out of this was just some sort of forum for all the Presidents and Chairs across ^London where we could exchange ideas or tips for events. But we found that there were only three Lib Dem societies in the 20 odd London colleges." As well as the LSE and King's, SOAS is the only other college with its own Liberal Democrat society. Biggs said of the change in aims, "We knew that there were Lib Dem supporters out there at these other colleges. They just weren't being represented. So our initial idea changed into creating an organisation that would represent these people." The event, held in the more Labour friendly 'Attlee Suite', was attended by a mix of students from across the UL as well as several members of the Liberal Democrat Cabinet including new Education Spokeswoman Sarah Teather and Treasury Spokesman Vince Cable. The current intake of Liberal Democrat MPs, several of whom have just joined the Lib Dem front bench, studied at the UL, such as the youngest MP in Parliament, Jo Swinson. \lnce Cable (right) talks to Benjamin Biggs Photograph: Chris Colvin COMMENT&ANALYSIS ®eaver| 14 March 2006 07 COMMENT & ANALYSIS iBeaver Established 1949 - Number 641 Consider yourself... ...one of the fraternity? Crime on Campus "Crime", in the words of George Moscone, "is an overhead you have to pay if you want to live in the city": A truism seemingly made facile by the number of crimes perpetrated around the campus of the London School of Economics. Look up and down the Houghton Street arcade and students of EClOl would do well to remember that London, being London, has crime. Its quantity on campus - in magnitude and frequency - is useful to know. Economists also take note: this is an inelastic phenomenon. Bikes, laptops and their trusting owners are in plentiful supply. (Analysts predict steady returns, though with a degree of risk, for potential speculators.) The efforts of the LSE security team have been admirable: crime on campus is managed and dealt with effectively. Considering so many students and their valuables frequent the area, statistics show Houghton Street is better off than other thoroughfares nearby. Putting the frequency of thefts and burglaries aside, the more worrying issue of violent crime brings more cause for concern. Whether drunken or not, the incidence of violent crimes and assaults on and around Houghton Street has not abated. The LSE's statistics on the subject are far too low. Indeed, far too little is reported. Of course, crime statistics are notoriously hard to place in the dock. \^at is clear, however, is that far too little is made of violence around campus. Mitfordian morals aside, the LSE SU needs to take a more proactive stance in dealing with violent crime on its premises. All too often, assaults occur as a result of the Union's activities. More proactive policing from Union staff wouldn't go Is your washroom breeding bolsheviks? Why the LSE is guilty of exploitation So asked an advertisement selling soft washroom towells to employers in McCarthyite America. Since then, the joys and abundance of capitalism have circumvented the need to be so caring of one's employees' needs. One of the many wonders of capitalism is its fluency. It allows for a hugely malleable, flexible organization of human endeavour. There is beauty in the clean and smooth exchange of capital. Competitive and efficient - its fluidity extends also to morals and conscience; products also for exchange. Take cleaning staff at the LSE; 80% of cleaning staff are paid below the London Living Wage; some surviving on a meagre £5.05 an hour, working through the night. If students were having to work under such circumstances, there would be outrage. Staff are being exploited. But not apparently, by the LSE. At the LSE, where Eabianism came into institutional flower, the injustice of paying staff below the poverty line does not occur. All LSE staff are paid and provisioned with the London Living Wage. How, the waiy reader might ask, is this miraculous sleight of hand achieved? Enter the magic of capitalism, exeunt moral culpability for one's actions. 80% of staff who clean the LSE are employed not by the school, but by external contract cleaning companies. This paper urges students to petition for a simple and easy change to this problem: sign up to the LSESU Living Wage Campaign on Houghton Street. That the LSE refuses to acknowledge its role in hiring such contract cleaning companies in the first place is a problem which must be rectified. But after all, morals, like capital, seem to be able flow quite readily. Franchise your dirty laundry and keep clean your own principles. How very New Labour. How very LSE. (JoYrection.s & Clarifications The Beaver would like to apologise for the inadvertent misattri-bution of the article 'Scientology - religion for the stars?' in issue 639 to Daniel Yates, Peter Currie and Gareth Rees. In fact, the article itself was not a collaboration and was written solely by Daniel Yates. Letters to the Editor The Beaver offers all readers the right to reply to anything that appears in the paper. Letters should be sent to thebeaver.editor@lse.ac.uk and should be no longer than 250 words. Ail letters must be recieved by 3pm on the Sunday prior to publication. The Beaver reserves the right to edit letters prior to publication. Hailing Hallett Dear Sir, While I was pleased to see Any Hallett criticise George Galloway and the Muslim Council of Britain in his 'Eyes to the Left' column last week, I was slightly puzzled to see him, in the same column, praise "our wonderful mayor Ken Livingstone". Is this the same Ken Livingstone who not only welcomed in London but also persistently sought to defend Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, who supports suicide bombing and the execution of homosexuals? Is this the same Ken Livingstone who vocally supported the introduction of the law against incitement to religious hatred, which restricts people's freedom to criticise religions, and who recently endorsed and promoted a protest in London against the publication of cartoons of Muhammad in European newspapers? As for Sian Errington's criticism last week of people on the Left at LSE who in the recent elections supported a candidate who had supported the war in Afghanistan, presumably Ms Errington believes that the 'progressive' thing to have done would have been to leave the Taliban in control of that country, and to allow Al-Qaeda to continue to use the country as a base. Yours Faithfully, Peter John Carmon Dear Sir, Andrew Hallett is a boring, ignorant, and offensive bigot. He would fit right in among the nasty stereotypes he paints of "Middle-Americans." Yours, Christopher Youens Dear Sir, I am writing to offer my congratulations to columnist Andy Halibut. It is always a reflection on the intellectual depth of the left' columnist in the section once called Blink (now simply written by the blinkered) as to how far into their journalistic career a vituperative and pernicious attack on the state of Israel appears. I believe Halibut has broken all previous records in his unleashing upon us of last week's aimless, banal trash in what is I believe, still his first weeks as a columnist. Like the long ball up to Didier Drogba, such route-one is indicative of desperation, a last resort, a mind bereft of other ideas. To correct the 'facts' contained within the mighty article would require far longer than 200, or possibly even 2000 words. Suffice to say, Mr Halibut's knowledge of the Middle-East is akin to Paris Hilton's knowledge of the finer points of Hegelian dialectics. Next time Halibut gets out his Crayola, why doesn't he do some research on the topic? And whilst I'm not a conspiratorial man, the fact that the hallowed G2 in the Guardian produced a two-day Israel special just last week, it would appear that Mr Halibut simply pulls his ideas straight from national newspapers. Perhaps next week he could write about the Brits? Or the Winter Olympics? Keep up the good work Eliot Pollak Fon(d farewell? Dear Sir, I would like to thank Rowan Harvey, Donny Surtani, Ali Dewji, Jo Kibble, El Barham, Tom Packer, Matt Sinclair, Arber Koci, Charlie Whitehom, James Caspell, Matt Sinclair, Vladimir Unkovski-Korica, Sam Kung, Alfonso Martinez-Ales, Liz Kinder, James Eyton, Priya Bose, Irene Finlay, Molly Mulready-Jones, Angus Mulready-Jones, Olle Naidoo, Oliver Jelleyman, Jennifer-Cullinane Pucci and Serenity Norman. There is nothing else to say. Goodbye, Dave Cole Discriminating Union_ Dear Sir, With many of the elected Sabb and non7Sabb officers prioritising 'ending all forms of discrimination,' I openly ask them to condemn the disgusting and blatantly racist comments of former GenSec Will MacEarlane in the headline article of last weeks Beaver (Issue 640), namely "Whoever wins, it's pleasing to see that it will be a non-white candidate". Why is this so? Does MacEarlane believe that white candidates are more incapable of doing the job? If so, I plead with him to present some evidence. If not, I ask him, in the spirit of equal opportunities and nondiscrimination, to be equally happy for whoever is elected in any position, regardless of their skin colour. Secondly, I also ask them to also condemn the high nasty (if not prejudiced) anti-Americanism of Andy Hallett in last week's 'Eyes to the Left'. Whilst not being American myself, I think it is rather nasty of him to support an anti-American movement which draws little distinction between those who support support Bush (which does not solely include his pathetic and insulting caricature of "red-necked, gun toting inlanders") and those who do The Rogue's Gallery No. 13 : Adios Caveman? not. It is highly paradoxical that in his article he clearly does recognise that many in the US do not like and did not vote for Bush, yet he proudly proclaims himself part of the anti-American movement. I feel this rather nasty, unsophisticated brand of anti-Americanism cannot help the integration of our American students on campus. Yours hopefully, Graham Pightling Editorial bias? Dear Sir, I am writing to thank you for the wonderfully accurate impression of me one would acquire by reading last week's Beaver. Your news article, and editorial, labels me right-wing because it sees through my eloquent support for public education, public healthcare, gay rights, abortion rights and affirmative action, as well my opposition to the war in Iraq and my employment with the Liberal Party of Canada. If endorsement from the LSESU Conservatives makes one "from the right", why not apply that label to Stacy-Marie Ishmael as well? What about the even more right wing Hayek society, which endorsed Elaine Londesborough? Rather than approach me honestly to ask about my political views, you chose to misrepresent them so you could explain my victory without actually discussing any of the strengths of my candidacy. I didn't win because the far-left doesn't understand STV (amusing though that is), I won because people liked my ideas, ideas which got barely a mention in your shameful coverage. I have lost 8 elections in this union, all with dignity and respect for my opponent. Elaine is a qualified candidate, an excellent journalist and a wonderful person. I'm sorry that the Beaver did not get the result it wanted, and that it couldn't handle that failure more maturely. If ever you wish to get to know me, my real views or why so many people voted for me, I'll be in the comms office. Sincerely, Ali Dewji (LSESU Comms Officer elect) Fab features Dear Sir, As the end of the year draws nigh, and we say goodbye to our favourite of Beavers, I wish to heap praise upon the fabulous Features section (formerly known as Blink). This section has been a shining light in a paper that has itself gone from strength to strength this year. Features consistently contains high-quality writing on interesting and lively topics, and sparks genuine debate on campus. This is due in no little part, I have no doubt, to the vision and dedication of this section's editors who deserve to be highly coiiunended. I am sure I am not the only one who has, week in and week out, enjoyed the well-written, thought-provoking articles that the features section has offered. Thank you, and congratulations, to all the writers, and their editors, for producing this outstanding work. All the best to those who are carrying the torch forward next year, and big, hearty slap on the back to the outgoing editors -good work guys. Yours, Joanna Clarke 081 leaver I 14 March 2006 COMMENT & AHALYm An alternative education FC Captain John MeDernmtfs piarting gift; His dissection of LSE life m John McDermott ^ Diversity is at the heart of Xour union Our diversity unites us. The differences we all have make us the same and what is the same unites us like a effulgent rainbow curtain shutting out the darkness. For Jew is Muslim and Sikh Christian. That is the difference between us and other universities. For although they are diverse they are neither the same nor imit-ed. A united, diverse, cosmopolitan community where our similarities divide our disunity. This is the LSE that I love. ^The nonsense of ^International Relations Using a quasi-phenomenolog-ical post-structural Gramscian Marxist intra-par-adigm discourse I have appreciated the centrifugal neo-Westphalian forces that transcend gender and class, while understanding just to what extent epistemological tensions and ontological decon-struction undermine rational foundationalism on meta-the-oretical grounds all the time negating the deleterious Hindenburgian post-positivist bias that threatens to split the relfectivists from the anti-Kantian Hobbesians. Bollocks. _ The vital iraportjince of J friendship Do you want to be my friend? Do you want to be my friend? Do you want to be my friend? You wouldn't do that in the real world now would you sweetheart? So why suddenly, when you enter the realm of facebook (are your favourite books really Ulysses and The Brothers Karamazov?) do you suddenly morph into your desperate 13 year-old self with braces and a training bra whose best friends were a can of vimto and a packet of quavers? Friendship is precious, don't let your vanity ruin it. 4The impressionable General Course student Only at LSE can jocund "athletes" in the Rugby 3rds or Football 7ths delude themselves and half of Georgetown that it was only due to a terrible injury that prevented them from sporting greatness. With the wonders of the LSE drill top though the General Course student is putty in their podgy fingers, as the latter salivates at the prospect of getting abroad what she couldn't get at home. —The triumph of hope over J expectation Not since the Cold War arms race has so much resources, effort, and imagination gone into underused and seemingly irrelevant projects. Yet, like a hoard of madcap Pentagon quidnuncs, the media group at LSE press on with their wonderfully quixotic plans. Why concern yourself with piffling problems such as having an audience when there are all-singing all-dancing elections to cover from every unattainable angles? But forget about it; ideas are what matter, the masses will catch up eventually- 5The art of public speaking Finally, I've learned that if one wants to make an impression in student politics it's perhaps not apposite to make your film-flam filled UGM debut opposing a motion you're in favour of, against a leading member of the debate team. Furthermore, it is also inadvisable to do this still intoxicated with various chemicals and after being beaten up in a blur of conniption by a wan tramp in Hackney Wick for asking him in French where my hotel was. Never again. All is not lost! iCanan ilhru rcsfaTns fii^ op^ism,. after a iiani fought liat^.for Treasurer position There exists a community called 'hacks' at the LSE. (A hack is a student who gets involved in the union politics.) Generally found at the Union General Meeting, i.e. UGM every Thursday at 1 p.m. in the Old Theatre or running around on Houghton Street busy campaigning over some issue or cheering during the Michelmas and Lent term elections. These hacks are, I must say, quite involved with whatever goes on in the union. A lot of them, if not most, do care about the issues concerning the students and do try to bring about a change in the environment around us all. Their actions and inactions affect us all - in one way or another, at one step or another during our university life. The most important positions within the union gets filled up during the Lent term elections. At the time of the elections, the candidates -usually the hacks - come up with innovative and interesting policies concerning different student issues and those who get elected, do tiy to keep their promises and generally work quite hard. After the elections, last week, a lot was said in this paper about non-involvement of majority of the student body at the LSE in the union politics - with more than 75% of the students simply refraining from voting and feeling Kanan Dhru absolutely indifferent about the issues concerning themselves! I felt quite sad at reading these honest and concerned opinions and felt that I must voice out what I feel about the issue, especially after experiencing and being a victim of this apathy first hand. A couple of months ago, I used to be one of the 75% - a person uninvolved and indifferent about the union issues -someone who would be involved with individual societies but not with the union per se. After interacting with a lot of the hacks, I felt quite distressed about the lack of concern of most of us in the union issues and decided to contest the elections myself -to see how the union and the student body react to a non-hack contesting an important union post - that of the union treasurer! On the union part, I found overwhelming encouragement! Most, if not all, union officers encouraged me to get involved - even though I was up against someone who was a well-established figure in the union. The elections were a fantastic experience. You not only get to know a lot about the people and issues around but also, a great deal about yourself; as to what you stand for, what are your strengths and weaknesses and how people perceive you!! All my friends encouraged me a lot too. A lot of them like me were the 'non-hacks'. But surprisingly they gave me some fantastic ideas and suggestions about the way the union fimc-tions and where it could be improved. They did want me to win - wanted a fresh voice, a different perspective in the union. They did care - they did vote. Many told me that even though this was their final year at the LSE - it was the first time they were voting at any LSESU elections! But may be, that was not enough. I lost the elections. The same 75% of the student body, from whom I stem -failed me. Until these students continue to waste their votes, the same kind of people will be elected and the new people like me, will not get an opportunity - and in turn, apathetic students wiU continue to be apathetic and indifferent - the catch 22 will continue to persist. owever, I must say one thing very clearly - to my ¦Jfl tne repord, on tne OT. and very... nasn-nasn Carvs Morgan's Sex Tips for Boys fin memoriam. John Prnfiimol. Despite entreaties to Exec Editor Jones not to mention her name again this week, Hacktavist is compelled to ignore editorial requests and go ahead anyway. This week, Carys sampled Steve Gummer - enjoying an intimate exchange with the editor of the Obiter before retiring to Chris Heathcote's bed (Comms officer not present). Word on the street is that Morgan also sampled the rare treat of Rishi Madlani at the drunken and debauched AU ball. Hacktavist is unsure who this reflects worse on. But there's stUl a whole term of Hacks to get through. In memory of our Comms officer, soon to depart, lets keep it blue Carys (no pun intended): Tory Statesmen of the LSE: Matt Sinclair: The LSESU's very own Dr.Kervorkian, Matt enjoys helping socialists die. Carys should see beyond his creepy mack and slightly racist exterior to enjoy his soft Hayekian bosom. Ali Dewji: Comms officer elect, Carys may find in Dewji what she cant get from Chris. Samuel Burke: Little known pro-life avenging evangelist, Carys best be careful because Ratzinger Burke 'dont abort. Hacktavist also hears that 'hack' friends. All is not lost. Things would definitely improve. If a non-hack, an Asian female, with merely a few days of preparation, can not only contest the elections but can also manage to come 2 nd, it would just require time and persistence before the apathy gets slowly eroded. This is not the time to lose heart but the time to double the energy, enthusiasm and excitement - because you are involved, because you are a 'hack' and because you care! If you give up, someone like me again, would never get a chance to contest! Jimmy Tam (anyone's man) is swinging into action as GenSec erect; usurping Madlani already to convene 'his' new exec. Hacktavist says, take it on the chin Madlani. Hopes are also raised high this week that niether Krebbers or Shayan will succeed in winning the last week annulled society officer election. Since the constitution dictates equal space for all candidates, Hacktavist summarises manifesto pledges below: 1) Shayan Afsar - spineless goon lost election last time. Left wing religious moderate (Islamic). Interests include: Sian Errington's edict of the day. 2) Arthur Krebbers - spineless goon had election armuUed last time. Right wing religious moderate (Catholic). Interests include: committeeships on any society willing to have him. EXECUTIVE EDITOR Sam Jones MANAGING EDITOR Sidhanth Kamath BUSINESS MANAGER Michael Fauconnier-Bank NEWS EDITORS Chris Lam; Tanya Rajapakse FEATURES EDITORS Jess Brammar; Joshua Hergesheimer PART B EDITORS Jam! Makan; Alex Teytelboym SPORTS EDITORS Sancha Balnton; Sam Lehmann GRAPHICS EDITOR Magnus Aabech COMMISSIONING EDITORS Ismat Abidi; Peter Currie FILM EDITOR Casey Cohen MUSIC EDITORS Sam Ashton; Kevin Perry THEATRE EDITOR Charlie Halllon VISUAL ARTS EDITOR Daniel Yates FASHION EDITOR Ben Lamy ABOUT EDITOR Gareth Rees TRAVEL EDITOR Hannah Smith THE COLLECTIVE: Chairperson: Alexa Sharpies Raihan Alfaradhi; Atif Ali; Andhalib Karim; Jon Bartley; Ruby Bhavra; Matt Boys; Clem Broumiey-Young; Sumit Buttoo; James Caspell; Simon Chignell; Sal Chowdhury; Jo Clarke; Dave Cole; Chris Colvin; Richard Coopey; Patrick Cullen; Lisa Cunningham; Owen Coughian; Chris Daniels; James Davies;Tamsin Davis; Laura Deck; Ali Dewji; Kanan Dhru; Jan Dormann;Matt Dougherty; Simon Douglas; Jan Duesing; Sian Errington; John Erwin; Alex George; Shariq Gilani; Lucie Goulet; Steve Gummer; Andrew Hallett; Chris Heathcote; Joshua Hergesheimer; Alex Hochuli; Nazir Hussain; Stacy-Marie Ishmael; Angus Jones; Fabian Joseph; Laleh Kazemi-Veisari; Joel Kenrick; Stefanie Khaw; Ahmad Khokher; Arthur Krebbers; Sanjivi Krishnan; Mandy Lau; Charles Laurence; Adrian Li; Ziyaad Lunat; Rishi Madlani; Zhanna Makash; Kim Mandeng; Fatima Manjt; Fadhil Bakeer Markar; John McDermott; Peter McLaughlin; Anna Ngo; Doug Oliver; Laura Parfitt; Rob Parker; Nina Pattinson; Eliot Pollak; Keith Postler;Tanya Rajapakse; Olivia Russo; Dom Rustam; Laura Sahramma; Jai Shah; Matt Sinclair; Marta Skundric; James Stevens; Jimmy Tam; Grace Tan; Nastaran Tavakoli-Far; Sarah Taylor; James Upsher; Natalie Vassilouthis; Alex Vincenti; Claudia Whitcomb; Yee To Wong PRINTED BY THE NORTHCLIFFE PRESS If you have written three or more articles for The Beaver and your name does not appear in the Collective, please email: thebeaver.editor@lse.ac.uk and you will be added to the list in next week's paper. The Beaver is available in alternative formats. FEATURESiPOLITICS leaver I 14 March 2006 109 FEATURES Politics/Law/Business/Careers thebeaver.blink@lse.ac.uk 14-15 Justk® for I The right approach Charles Laurence On writing this, my last column of the year, I was urged to give an upbeat valediction. I was to explain to an expectedly incredulous readership that this year had been a spellbinding success for the right. This is not true and I won't claim it is. To do so would be an insult to the readers and would give an unwarranted sense of satisfaction on my part. Instead, what I will do is point out the failings in the rotten body of union politics and why it is so important for the Right to resurge next year. The transnational trend of a hostile left-wing establishment which I wrote about last week is being replicated here in LSE and it is profoundly unhealthy, not only for the languishing right wing, but also for the lefties themselves. By refusing to engage constructively with those who hold different opinions, the left-wing consensus will eventually drown in its own nonsensical effluent. The evidence of this sickness is most clearly shown from the language used by the left. "Progressive" was probably the most commonly heard word in the whole SU election campaign. What a candidate means when they say "progressive" of course is simply "left wing." But instead of using this widely understood term, they insist on saying "progressive." Take a moment to think how pernicious it is to use this word. It is not simply a substitute, a way of reframing the debate. It implies there is an obviously correct course for politics to travel and the "progressive" is in favour of following it. It also implies that if one is not "progressive", then one must be "regressive", therefore obviously wrong. It is a word that closes debate, insults voters and is fundamentally undemocratic. Despite the strong conviction of many who don't sign up to the lazy left consensus, they couldn't and wouldn't want to use a word that has been hijacked by the left and rendered meaningless in political discourse. Item two, your honour, is the term "far right", as used in reference to parties such as the BNP. I am very doubtful that those in the great left-wing consensus have taken the time to cross-reference the BNP manifesto with the works of Locke, Burke, Nozick, etc. But if they did, they would discover that a small racist party which advocates mass nationalisation of industry has about as much in common with 'the right' as The Brunch Bowl has with The Ivy. Of course, people who use phrases like that probably aren't attempting to make a philosophical point; by 'far right' they mean 'very nasty' by implication. Someone who is "hard right", as Sian Errington described me last week, must simply be 'quite nasty.' Again, language rather than argument is being used to frame the debate, to the detriment of open discussion and, dare I say it, progress. Another facet of this discourse is blatant racism. On the front page of last week's Beaver, Will MacFarlane was quoted as saying of the General Secretary race that, "Whoever wins, it's pleasing to see that it will be a non-white candidate." If someone can explain to me how this is not a racist statement, I would be grateful. Replace the word "white" with "black". "Asian" or "Muslim", and think of the outrage such a comment would have raised. On the campaign trail, an acquaintance of mine said the she would not be voting for me first because I am white and because I am a man. A situation where these views are normal and acceptable needs change: the idea that you judge someone on their merits regardless of the race, sex, religion or sexuality seems to have been flung out the window. It needs to be brought back. The breathtaking arrogance of the Left is doubly surprising given the spectacular failure of their ideas in the real world. The old adage that a conservative is a left winger who has been mugged by reality doesn't really apply at LSE. A life sustained by interest-free government loans and Sociology text books will inevitably lead to a skewed world view. Only last week at the UGM we were told that increasing the wages of cleaners at LSE would neither cut the number of cleaners nor cut the budget anywhere else. I was prepared to listen to the case for raising what is a very low wage, but felt unable to engage with LSE's parallel universe where 2+2 no longer equals 4. The Right is facing an unprecedented attack through a slanted discourse of Orwellian proportions. Those of us who are sick and tired of nonsense masquerading as orthodoxy need to have the courage of our convictions. We have a responsibility to fight the arguments and win. Next year, let's make it happen. I would like to thank all the editors that have been so helpful over this year (Jess, Josh, Steve and the others). I also want to thank my readers, particularly those who have taken the time to respond to what I have had to say whether in support or criticism. Until next year, goodbye. Eyes to the left ducation is not just an economic activity, a means of training a future workforce. Nor is it a morally neutral activity; the nation's schools play a vital part in creating, confirming and debating the kind of society we live in and want to live in." Not the stirring words of Bevan or Crosland, but the rather less exciting, but intelligent, think-tank Compass, in their assessment of New Labour's education reforms in "A Comprehensive Future". Indeed, by the time you read this, the Labour Party may have remembered what it used to believe in, or it may have continued to deconstruct the great social model Clem Attlee and others put in place after 1945. Education is so vital as perhaps no area of policy divides, or should divide, those on the Left from those on the Right, particularly in Britain. Blair himself, on one of those heady spring days of 1997, remarked that "our economic policy is education", and since education is so crucial in determining our collective wealth, as well as pretty much everything else in society, it is little won- der there is such concern over the 2006 Education Bill, due to be voted on by the Commons tomorrow. In effect New Labour have once again gone for the false mantra of "choice", taking power away from LEAs and allowing any school to be governed by parents or businessmen. This proposal is particularly terrifying, given that some "city academies" are already under the control of US-style "creationism" advocates, and there is the real possibility that science may be perverted to the point of falsehood on the curriculum. Quite how a bunch of greedy old men will know how to run schools better than education professionals is anybody's guess, but then logic has never been Mr. Blair's strongpoint. Bad schools, i.e. those attended by the poor, will be closed or replaced, further enhancing the division between the rich and poor in our society. The middle-classes will always play the system better than the less affluent, but instead of addressing this problem as a "democratic socialist party' (incredibly, Labour still calls itself this) should, the government's proposals will only exemplify existing trends. If education follows a social democratic model, the results, in time, will filter through to the rest of society. Although we have, fortunately, left behind the days when most kids were branded a failure at 11, much remains to be done to ensure education is egalitarian. A good start, in the view of this class-warrior, would be to strip the toffs' network (Eton etc) of charitable status and tax them for every last drop, which can then be put into comprehen-sives. Since the rich are endowed by birth with massive advantages over the rest of us, the final deconstruction of this unjust system would generate much social good. But comprehensive schools need to be brought up, rather than just the rich being brought down. Every extra pound spent on education benefits all of society, not just the children currently at school, and these benefits are especially big if teachers can be left to teach, rather than having pushy middle-class parents trying to run their schools. The postcode lottery, in which the more mobile better-off always gain, needs to be ended by forcing schools to take a mix of pupils which reflects more than the immediate social and geographical area. This extends to faith "schools", perhaps the most insidious kind of state-supported institution ever conceived. No child should have to have their minds poisoned and their intellect hollowed out by crude ignorance and superstition, and the best way to kill such divisive places would be to simply ban them. However, the most important thing to remember about education is what we actually want to get out of it. Do we want generations of Finance Society wannabes, stripped of any love for learning but keen to prostitute themselves to the jobs market? Or do we want intelligent, well-rounded young people who are employable but also interesting? As a society, we are still producing too many of the former alongside many thousands who have no qualifications or hopes at all. Even Mrs. "Thatcher dared not dismantle the NHS. It would be the ultimate irony if her "greatest creation". New Labour, managed to destroy the last vestiges of a comprehensive education system, by creating one that was run by the profit-hungry and to which social justice was just another "outdated" phrase. As someone proud of getting to The Times' 11th "best university in the world" from a completely comprehensive background, I hope this does not occur. Hog 14/03/06 It's about that time - the last column of the year for us as Features Editors. I would first like to say that it has been a great experience. It has been fascinating to sift through all the different articles sent in for consideration - it makes me wonder if you're drinking what we're drinking, if you know what I mean. The old Chinese curse "may you live in interesting times" has been a blessing for us here on the Features desk. The range of issues this section addressed has been phenomenal. We have witnessed the troubles in Iraq under occupation grow. We have seen the progress made in Afghanistan being undermined by the huge increase in opium cultivation which threatens to turn the country into a narco-terrorist state. We are living through the political and social aftermath of the suicide bombings in London, struggling with the applicability of multiculturalism in the face of fundamentalism. We watched in horror at the apathetic world response to the Kashmiri earthquake. We have watched Iran and the America rattle their sabers in what looks increasingly likely to be wild-west style showdown over who will draw first. Surely interesting times. Perhaps the most important event for us in relation to our work as journalists and editors has been the assault on freedom of expression. On the continent, Danish cartoonists wonder if they will meet the same grisly fate meted out to Theo Van Gogh, while the female writers of Beshti and Submission remain hidden, in fear for their lives. But this attack on freedom of expression in democratic countries has not only come from non-state actors who threaten violence, but also from goverimients. While the British government moves to criminalize the "glorification of terrorism," David Irving sits in a prison cell in Austria. In both cases, martyrs will undoubtedly be made of those who fall foul of these laws, only serving to raise their profile and give them a status they do not deserve. To all those who contributed to the Features section, consider that in many countries you would have been intimidated, arrested, tortured and even killed for the things that you have written. Your families would have been harassed and attacked. You might have had to flee, facing an uncertain future as a refugee. In China, activists have been imprisoned for writing emails or publishing material considered "subversive." In Jordan and Yemen, newspaper editors who published the Danish cartoons now face criminal prosecutions. A Kenyan newspaper office was recently raided in an attempt to suppress dissent. Journalists in Iraq - both foreign and local - have been kidnapped. It is therefore important to remember, first and foremost, that writing is a profoundly political act. Therefore, whether you consider yourself liberal or conservative, religiously minded or secular humanistic, nationalist, internationalist or communal anarchist, capitalist or communist, what you have done by standing up for your beliefs is more than simply put forward the best argument you can. More importantly, it is a process of exploring ideas and pushing the boundaries - boundaries that governments and politicians probably wish were narrower than wider. Do not forget those people right now who are incarcerated, facing an uncertain future of torture and possibly death, simply for doing what we too often take for granted: creating and distributing a newspaper where the reader is challenged on all sides by an array of controversial viewpoints. Features Editor Joshua Hergesheimer 10 IBeaver I 14 March 2006 FEATURES; POLITICS Licence to kill? Will Joce urges us to support the police in their defence of the public The justice for Jean campaign is in full swing, meetings have been held on campus. The family have refused an apology and a state visit by the Brazilian President has been overshadowed. The media are enjoying juxtaposing the human interest of the families grief and the oppressive government tinged with corruption. Reality, common sense and a sensible perspective were thrown out of the window long ago. My objections to the hysteria surrounding what was undoubtedly a tragedy are twofold. Hypocrisy of the Brazilians and hypocrisy of the media. The family of the deceased man, Jean Charles, must be distraught and have come to Britain to find out more about his last days and the circumstances of his death. To find that he was killed by accident must be particularly galling. They have been at the forefront of calling for an appropriate enquiry. All completely fair enough. They seem to have failed entirely, however, to make an allowance for the situation London was in at the time. Fifty other innocent people had been killed on 7 July and the previous day a similar plot had been foiled. Not only were the families of those killed and injured in mourning, but those on the streets of the capital were living in fear that such a strike could happen again. This is not an excuse. The police still had a responsibility to ensure that they did their job effectively and dutifully. The British police are amongst the most professional and skilled in the world but at that moment, whilst operating at the limit of endurance, something went wrong. As is fitting in a civil society such as ours an enquiry was immediately put in place, first within the auspices of the Metropolitan Police and subsequently independently. The family have been offered an apology by the Prime Minister on behalf of the government and people of Britain. That apology has been rejected. I believe there are only two possible explanations for this. The De Menezes' are either mistakenly believing that all police forces have the alley cat morals and trigger happy nature of their own Brazilian police or they are choosing to believe that Jean Charles was purposefully gunned down. The Menezes family come from a county where you are safer amongst heavily armed drug gangs in the favelas than you are in the company of the police. The former Brazilian police ombudsman, Julita Lemgruber, told the BBC that last year in the state of Rio the police killed 983 people. A similar number was mentioned Shadwell We s ¦ *5555 Aidgate covent ijaraen Green Park Leicester ^Cannon street Square Mansion House Piccadilly Circus Monument Tower -mam Charing Cross ^ Tower Wapping % Blackfriars St, James's Park Temple Rotherhlthe London Briags Westminster Embaokment-« ? Cteflm Cross sOSm Sermondse^ Surrey Quay Kennington Stockweil :iapham North Hign Street IQOm. Common im South rixtor* Balham Tooting Broadway for Sao Paolo. In March last year 29 people were killed in a bar when two off-duty police officers opened fire. A former military policeman in Brazil described such attacks, saying, 'it's all premeditated - very cold blooded and calculated.' Lembgruber continues,'around 60% of the bodies of people that were killed by the police had more than six shots. Most of them [were shot] in the head and in the back - mostly executions.' This gives a chilling insight into the culture from which the Menezes family are basing their opinion of British justice. Someone should perhaps inform them of the respect for procedure, the due process and judicial oversight that exists among this country's police. The men who shot Jean Charles were not the bloodthirsty and corrupt gangsters in uniform of Brazil but highly trained professionals working in exceptional circumstances. All the family can do now is accept the apology, let Jean Charles rest in peace and go home out of the media spotlight. The hypocrisy of some of the media is positively odious. Bad news sells newspapers and attacking the government and 'No innocent lives will be saved by heaping further restrictions on the police but many lives may be lost if they cannot respond as they see fit to the terrorist threat' police is always going to go down well with certain sections of society. The conspiracy theorists have been left a bit stumped as even they cannot come up with a reason why the met would want to kill an unarmed and innocent man. So the usual fall back of police incompetence has been cited. The erroneous extrapolation is that since one innocent man has been killed all police with guns on our streets are going to let loose a hail of bullets given the slightest provocation. This conveniently ignores the strenu- ous training and retraining all firearms officers must undergo and overlooks the source of the Stockweil tragedy. The armed officers on the ground were not the cause of the accident, but rather a breakdown in communication from the command structure to the observers and stakeout team. The worst aspect of the media coverage is the knowledge that had a suicide bomber made it past armed police and managed to cause carnage on the tube network the attacks on the police would have been even more vociferous. Very few media outlets have devoted as much space or time to the efficient emergency services response to the bombings on 7 July as they have to the Stockwell shooting. Jean Charles De Menezes face looks down on Londoners from posters and out of newspapers as some try and manipulate us into thinking that he was a martyr to government and police incompetence. The 983 people killed in Rio last year are martyrs to Police corruption that has resulted from government incompetence. Jean Charles is the victim of a tragedy, a tragedy that is being hijacked by those with a vendetta to pursue or a cause that needs publicity. The Menezes family should be warned that once the media has eked every morsel of interest from the public over this case they will be dropped and their cause forgotten. The association with the media that once made their case to millions will make them look tawdry and cheap. No good can come from the canonisation of Jean Charles. No innocent lives-will be saved by heaping further restrictions on the police but many lives may be lost if they cannot respond as they see fit to the terrorist threat. Media coverage of the tragedy holds only part of the story at best and so we, as the public, are in no good position to judge anyway. The personal tragedy that has hit the family has no place in the public eye being fed on by the voyeuristic nature of the British press. The best possible hands for the case to reside in now is the independent enquiry with whom it rests, who will publish their conclusions long after the case has lost its novelty and who may be the only people who can pull some hope from the tragedy. FEATURES: INTERVIEW iBeaverl 14 March 2006 n Walk on the Wilde side Elaine Londesborough meets gay rights campaigner, top lawyer, and LSE graduate Ralph Wilde It is hard to believe, as a student in 2006, that just a little over ten years ago the age of consent for gay sex was,21, a five year disparity with the age of consent for straight people. Attitudes towards gay men are very different today, and this was one of the first things Ralph Wilde pointed out to me when we met last week. Wilde was only 18, and a student at LSE, when he took the government to the European Commission on Human Rights over the age of consent back in 1994. Supported by the gay rights group Stonewall, Wilde, along with two other 18-year-old gay men, went to the ECHR to argue that their right to privacy was being infringed and that they were being discriminated against on the basis of their sexuality by the law. It was a tough decision to make. "This is the early nineties, we don't have any out gay politicians, we don't have Queer as Folk, the age of consent is 21, there's no gay partnerships, there's no anti-discrimination law about homophobia. It was a very different climate from now," Wilde tells me. Wilde got involved with the campaign after finding an advert in a free newspaper called Capital Gay. He had only just started at university and tells me that, "like most people at that age going to LSE, I wanted to change the world and I just opened a newspaper and there it was and it seemed like an opportunity to do something." Sitting in his office at the UCL Laws building in Bloomsbury, it is clear the Wilde has come a long way in the 12 years since the campaign, but his fears at the time about how the move would affect his future were very real. "When I told some people I was doing it, they said, 'this is madness, you're just putting yourself up to being door stepped by the tabloids, you are setting yourself up for trouble, you'll never have a career, it's always be held against you.'" Luckily for Wilde, none of this happened, and he holds the experience up as one of the greatest of his life. "Everyone I met was very supportive and I met some amazing people, who were really inspirational, people like Angela Mason, Ian McKellen, and various politicians. "It was this great life enhancing experience at the moment when it happened though, things were uncertain."Wilde was heavily involved in the campaign throughout his first and most of his second year at LSE. He remembers fondly delivering a petition to Downing Street in the gap in between two classes. The next day it was in all the papers. The ECHR ruled that the British Government were indeed in contravention of the convention, which lead to a Private Members Bill in the Commons, m sponsored by Edwina Currie, that proposed lowering the age of consent to 16. Only 14 votes away from winning this, a compromise was reached whereby the law was changed to 18. Wilde was surprised at the time by the success of the campaign. "When we started we didn't even think we'd have the vote. We didn't really think it would be considered, we didn't really think the case was really pushing the envelope either, so in that sense it was more than any of us had expected that within two years we had got the law changed down to 18." "In retrospect, the fact that the individual concerned was Edwina Currie and the Prime Minister was John Major was perhaps in our favour," he joked. This marked the end of the campaign as far as Wilde was concerned, as he was already over 18. He now feels that because the issue was a genuinely fresh one in political discourse, if they had worked a little longer on the campaign before the vote was taken they could have got the age down to 16. However, on a personal level it was a huge success. "Certainly for people affected by the law, like me, it was very good that it changed in 1994 and not 1995 or 1996. There was the feeing that things were going in the right direction." Wilde feels that a lot needs to be done in terms of international law. "In international law it is still the last acceptable area where discrimination is not seen as impermissible. "Things are so bad that the International Lesbian and Gay Association, a global NGO on LGBT issues, is not even given NGO status at the UN, which is given to all sorts of random NGOs, because of pressure from certain countries, Vatican for one, which isn't even a member. That sort of scandalous, unjust situation is still a problem." He is passionate that we must show greater solidarity with the people in other countries fighting for gay rights: "what's heartening are the very great people who are trying to do things in other countries and those are the people we should support." At LSE, Wilde was an actively engaged student, an elected student representative on the Court of Governors and theatre reviewer for The Beaver. He recalls writing a very "po-faced" review of Madonna's Sex book, criticising her for "expropriating gay imagery." "I clearly had a sense of humour failure when I wrote that," he tells me. He even ran for General Secretary at the end of his second year, but was disqualified for putting a poster up in the library. "I didn't read the election rules properly and so I put up a poster in the library and I was disqualified, and I was the favourite. Martin Lewis won. Of course, Martin would have said he would have won anyway." Keen to gossip, Wilde tells me that the Returning Officer at the time, James Brown, has gone on to become David Starkey's long term partner Wilde didn't re-run for Gen Sec at the end of his final year, and instead went to City University to do a conversion to Law. He is now a Reader in Law at UCL and has worked on himian rights and international law throughout his career. Recently, he has been working on extra-territoriality issues and has been publicly outspoken about the "unlawful" invasion of Iraq and the lack of proper scrutiny of the treatment of detainees at the US's Guantanamo Bay detention centre in Cuba. Wilde was modest about his achievements, but they are clear for all to see. It is humbling to think that this young man has accomplished so much in his life already and has made such a huge impact on the gay rights movement. I left his office inspired in a very personal way - the LSE produces some fine graduates, and Ralph Wilde must rank among the finest. 14 March 2 sBeaver Alex Hochuli Chair, Secular Society What advice would you give to October's new batch of freshers? Be who you want to be. What's your biggest regret? Regrets? I've had a few. Then again, too few to mention... Future plans...? Avoid another year at LSE... What's your favourite memory of LSE? Either pissing off a lot of people and generally causing a stir with the SecSoc at Freshers Fayre, or plotting insurrection rather drunkenly on numerous occasions in a beer-soaked tuns on a Friday afternoon. What advice would you give to October's new batch of freshers? Meet people and get a big group of excellent friends in your first year. This is the key to a brilliant three years - far more than even becoming head of a society/winning an election/getting kicked out of the UGM/having sex in the library, etc. What's your biggest regret? Not becoming more politically active earlier on - that doesn't mean running for election - but rather joining a political group or forming one, and doing something different and controversial, pissing people off and trying to shake up the LSE. Future plans...? Probably involves dossing around for a while; hoping to get work in a think-tank and then I intend to be back the year after for a Masters! Sam Jones Executive Editor, The Beaver What's your favou No singular mome Beaver office have soul) yelling 'NOT group of French st celebration; spend assume) with a gn up and come dowi embezzling Union cocaine habit. What advice wouli Your first year wil and the third the i What's yotir biggei Not having enougl the people I wante loved to have been Future plans...? Hoe corresponden internship there di journalism has sor The Usual 5 The Beaver asked for pearls of wisdom from some of Rishi Madlani SU General Secretary Dave Cole Former UGM Chair What's your favourite memory of LSE? Too many... Somehow getting my degree after having spent 4 years doing everything but study ranks highly. Winning my first hockey silverware was pretty awesome. Winning the General Secretary election was also pretty amazing but overall my best memories are from the amazing people I have met. What advice would you give to October's new batch of freshers? Make sure you take advantage of all the opportunities available to you while you are here. The Students' Union, the School and London offer something for everyone; make sure your time here goes further than seeing the inside of classrooms and the library! Future plans...? Hopefully escape for a bit over summer, see a bit of the world and then off to work for ABN-AMRO from August. After that the opportunities are endless... Stacey-Marie Ishmael Former Station Manager, PuLSEfm What's your favourite memory of LSE? Can I have a list? No particular order....trip to Lebanon, trip to Croatia, hockey tour to Amsterdam... What advice would you give to October's new batch of freshers? Try everything once. What's your biggest regret? Not tr5dng everything once Future plans...? Hoping to follow my predecessor to Weatherspoons. Failing that, to do the dream trip Southampton to Cape Town. Natalie Black SO Treasurer What's your favourite memory of LSE? The day that I resigned as the PuLSEfm Station Manager, signs appeared along the corridor where the media group offices are that said, "Stacy, you were the change we needed to see. We'll miss you." Less sentimentally, I had a blast dancing on Houghton Street with my beloved Blue Angels during the Lent Term campaigning. What advice would you give to October's new batch of freshers? Treasure the time that you will have here. The LSE is an amazing environment to be in - but it takes some effort to discover and then to make the most of that fact. Don't just spend all of your time in the library -get involved with societies, or the AU, or the Media Group. Attend at least one UGM. Go to public lectures. Make friends - real ones, not just the facebook kind. Don't date any one in any of your classes. Finally, wear sunscreen. What's your biggest regret? That I won't be around next year. Future plans...? World Domination. W1 Be sni inj He an he: noi W1 ba Ge mv Be Ki: W1 No Be the Fu Co th£ up 4- ir w + % ¦M + i| Theatre Exclusive interviews with riising opera stars Joseph Calleja and Johan Renter rr ^ Film Edwards Schissorhands; how the new Casanova seduced Sienna Miller About Nobu's little brother Ubon offers the best udon noodles in town T Music Wolfmother, already tremendously popular in Australia, finally hit the London scene EDITORIAL 'You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation' Plato Here it is. The last and probably one of the best issues of PartB this year. It was difficult to take over from superb former editors Peter and Natalie, but we had a vision for the pull-out which we relentlessly pursued. We saw PartB having an engaging interview each week, a fancy cover and cohesive yet diverse content. PartB stopped being just an arts section the day it lost its old name. Interviews have been our primary focus in features. Whatever the ancient Greek said, you can learn more about a person through conversation than through reading about him on the Internet. Furthermore, it would seem diffi-t to play with several of those interviewed. Cover faces since we took over include politician Sir Menzies Campbell, entrepreneur Chris Hughes, exiled Russian billionaire Boris Berezovsky, actor David Suchet, GQ Editor Dylan Jones, poet Benjamin Zephaniah, and musician Imogen Heap. The content this week is brilliant, we recommend the interviews in the Theatre and Film sections. One of our reporters went undercover and conversed with a female pro-life activist. Avmtie Shaw bids farewell for the summer, and you can find yet another challenging cryptic crossword on the back page. Most of the senior editors who made the newspaper the way it is now are leaving. PartB may or may not change, but we hope you will enjoy it next year as much as we enjoyed making it during past several months. jamimakan & alexteytelboym Liza Lou White Cube, 48 Hoxton Square 10am-6pm Admission: Free Romeo and Juliet Royal Opera House, Bow Street 7:30pm Tickets: £5-84 Don Preston Akashic Ensemble Vortex, 11 Gillett Street 8pm Tickets: £10 Highland Dancing classes Crown Court Church of Scotland 6-7pm Admission: £3 (Voluntary) 'Therapy Sessions' Herbal Herbal, 10/14 ICingsland Road 9pm-2am Admission: £5, £2.50 before 10pm Pear Shaped Comedy Club The Fitzroy Tavern, 16 Charlotte Street 8pm Admission; £4 (NUS) TTiiiroHav_ Fiona Cosgrove's Self-Expression Art Classes 176a Royal College Street 6-8pm Admission: Free Les Quatre Cents Coups National Film Theatre, Belvedere Road 8:45pm Tickets: £6.25 (NUS) Liars ULU, Malet Street 7:30pm Tickets: £12 Tredici Choir Fields Church, 60 St. Giles High Street 1:10pm Admission: Free with voluntary collection Late Friday: Sing Along with My Fair Lady The Theatre Museum, Russell Street 7pm-9pm Admission: Free 'The Remix' Cargo, 83 Rivington Street 7pm-3am Admission: £10 Great British Watercolours The Wallace Collection, Manchester Square 10am-5pm Admission: Free Bedroom Farce Upstairs at the Gatehouse, Highgate Village 8pm Tickets: £12 (NUS) 'Bugged Out' The End, 16 West Central Street 10:30pm-7am Tickets: £10 (NUS) Smulav Highgate Cemetery Swain's Lane llam-4pm Admission: £2 The Dead 60s Astoria, 157 Charing Cross Road 7pm Tickets: £12 MonHav Meditate in the City Templeton House Studio, 33-34 Chiswell Street l-l:30pm Admission: Free 'Open Mike' Boadhouse, 35 The Piazza 7-lOpm Admission: Free Kungsbacka Piano Trio Wigmore Hall, 36 Wigmore Street 7:30pm Tickets: £8-13 Something we missed? Too bad. You will have to wait until next year to tell us. Dav intemewed 14 March 2006 a AM PREGNANH" CALLING UP A PRaUFE HELPLINE FOR ADVICE PartB conducts an undercover investigation to find out v^^hat advice a female pro-life counsellor would give to a Catholic student who became pregnant through nonconsensual intercourse Hello, can I help you? When the late great comic Bill Hicks felt that his set wasn't going so well, he would turn the subject of his polemic rants over to abortion: 'What don't you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion? You know, I feel like I'm losing some of you here, and I want to win all of you back with this one. Let's talk about abortion. Let's talk about child killing and see if we can't get some chuckles rippling through the room here. Let's talk about mass murder of young, unborn children and see if we can't coalesce into one big, healthy gutlaugh. Hahahaha!' So what could be more natural for the last issue of PartB than to scrape the barrel, if that imagery is not inappropriate, and aim our half-baked literary cannons at the issue of abortion? Yes, love, you can talk to me, I'm a counsellor. What is your problem, love, at the moment, then? In fact, the issue was more pressed upon PartB than the other way round. Because last Monday US pro-life groups struck their first resounding blow to the post-Jloe vs. Wade consensus as Michael Rounds, Republican governor of South Dakota, signed legislation that would ban abortion in the state in virtually all circumstances. Similar legislation is also being drawn up in five other, predominantly Southern, states with the clear intention of a high court challenge, the first in over a decade, to the ruling that abortion is constitutionally legal. And with the balance of the US Supreme Court firmly weighted in favour of conservatives, the challenge looks the most pressing yet. The controversy over this issue has not been felt nearly as much in the tacitly secular UK, but even on the more irreligious side of the pond there have been increasing signs of politicking with this most private and intimate of concerns: Conservative leader Michael Howard calling for restraints on abortion at the last General Election, in a move that immediately curried favour with Britain's four million Catholics. Even our fair LSE was embroiled in the conservative controversy, with anti-abortion groups staging a protest at a film screening concerning abortion on our very campus. The pro-life movement is mobilising. So we looked into it. This isn't a Catholic charity or anything, it's completely interdenominational really. You can been an atheist and still be pro-life... And how did we look into it? Well, more astute readers wUl have noticed the quotes interspersing this piece; they are extracts from a phone conversation with a representative of a pro-life organisation that provides counselling to women on issues relating to pregnancy. The organisation's first principle is 'to oppose all abortion on principle.' One undercover female reporter called up the hotline, introducing herself as a Catholic student who had fallen pregnant through non-consen-sual sex and was now faced with an agonising conflict between her beliefs and the situation she found herself in, to try and develop an intimate understanding of why anti-abortion groups are so driven, sometimes to the point of murder, in the pursuit of their principles. Pm not trying to convince you, Vm trying to let you thirik through your options and think carefully. The first thing I should say is that the counsellor our reporter spoke with anonymously was exemplary. She was kind, reassuring, gave sound advice, and showed a mortify-ingly generous level of concern to our invent- images of the womb. On the website of the organisation we called were pictures of aborted foetuses, complete with pictures of minis-cule severed hands and feet resting on pound coins, pictures that are a challenge to the most ardent pro-choicer. And yet we got the ,5 •jWlK? "pWrjiPNT WAMT YOU i)SS« ed plight. She was also a Catholic, though was quite explicit that her faith was in no way related to the organisation or pro-life views. During the conversation, it seemed that she had a very physicaUy-grounded relationship with the issue; she spoke of seeing foetuses sucking their thumbs, their hearts beating and eyes blinking. Such imagery represents an approach widely pursued in pro-life circles, in which the crux of the debate often revolves around the definition of where life begins. Pro-choice individuals view the foetus as a mere conglomeration of biological matter, while pro-life individuals extrapolate a profoundly human conception of the foetus from impression that it was not this visceral reality of abortion that motivates the pro-life movement or indeed the woman our reporter talked to. We would say. The baby's heart is beating and the baby's life is from conception.' Yes, the organisation we called was explicitly non-denominational. But then, why does its own material express a strong affiliation with the Catholic Church? Why is the pro-life movement so much stronger in the US, with its deeply Christian population, than in the UK, where less than two million mem- bers of the population regularly attend church? There is a profound difference between empathising with a three month-old foetus with arms, hands, legs and eyes, as the woman our reporter talked with did, and a three day-old zygote. The view that life begins at conception is one that is justified only by religious proscription. And during the train of the crocodile tear-stained conversation, we couldn't help but get the impression that a certain Papal Encychcal might have played a part in forming the counsellor's views. Do you not want to get married and have children sometime? For many Feminist authors, abortion represents a vital right for women because women without it simply do not have control over their reproductive lives and cannot participate on equal terms with men. That is it. Are you planning on getting raped in the next few years? Well, make sure that it does not happen in South Dakota, because then you are legally obliged to go ahead and have the criminal's baby. Pro-life groups argue along the lines of, "Two wrongs don't make a right', that abortion is an act of violence that doesn't atone for the act of violence committed against the woman. But at the same time, there is a tacit rejection of the sexual and social liberation of women behind the attitudes of pro-life groups. Is it simply coincidence that the sexually prescriptive Catholic church is so against abortion, as are absti-nence-backing Evangelical US churches? Our reporter intimated that she had been raped, and at no time was there any condemnation of the man involved or intimation of his responsibility from the counsellor, who frequently expressed traditional views as well as condemnation of modem woman's licentiousness. Our reporter asked, 'Is there someone I could talk to about the way it happened? It wasn't, it wasn't fully consensual on my part to be honest, and I don't know what to do, he doesn't want to have anything to do with it...' To which the counsellor replied, 'Well, you can't force him to have anything to do with the baby if you have the baby or anything, erm...' Our whole vocabulary relating to abortion distracts attention from this point. We, and our coimsellor, divide camps into 'pro-life' and 'pro-choice'. Well, who is not both pro-life and pro-choice? The honest divide is between those who feel that women should be able to deliberately terminate their pregnancy and those who do not, the anti-abortion and pro-abortion. Denying anyone freedom represents a move that should always be rigorously justified. Our reporter's brief exposure to those an anti-abortion individual gave us the impression that if both sides were more honest when advocating any right to infringe upon the most intimate of individual liberties, we all would be more enlightened. The thing is, the female of the species have wombs so that we nurture the next generation, that is what we are meant by nature to do, isn't it? Doing the opposite and not nurturing, literally destroying the next generation, is going to have a tremendous psychological impact on you... For explicitly agenda-free advice on pregnancy, call the counsellor on 0800 0185 023 petercurrie B ^ 14 March 2006 After appearing on several groundbreaking soundtracks and collaborating with countless stars and underground artists, Innogen Heap has recently gained recognition as an innovative and talented nnusician. In her own words, her career has been characterised by 'not successful success' "words r. '-J/'. , If you have been to cinemas during the last several years, chances are you have absorbed the breathtaking talent of Imogen Heap. Seemingly an unusual circumstance, given that the intriguing musician has never appeared on the silver screen, but made considerably less unusual after noting her musical contributions to Shrek 2, Chronicles of Namia, The OC and Garden State. The OC featured her single 'Hide and Seek' at the conclusion of its second season. The single itself represents a stunning electronic a-cappella, and it was to the second season what Jeff Buckley's epic 'Hallelujah' was to the first: a poignant finale that successfully captured every tear and dramatic twist of two dozen preceding episodes. 'I knew what The OC was and I knew how big of a deal that was going to be,' she says, 'so of course I was like "Yes! You can have it, do what you like with it." But there are some things you get, for instance a tampon advert in Italy, that you say no to.' She continues, speaking in a soft voice that defies the resonant OC single: 'But pretty much when you're at my level, of not successful success, you need to have that extra help. People like the music supervisors of The OC are aware of how they help not-so-well-known artists. Because you don't get that opportunity on the radio, [soundtracks] have become the new radio in a way. I just hope the day never arrives when people pay people at The OC to get a record on.' But, as Imogen notes. Garden State seemed to be the most important of her film-related work. The first incarnation of her contribution, 'Let Go', was originally meant for Closer or Phone Booth, although she cannot remember which. When the film was released, it was probably the first time a soundtrack was seen to be as important as the film itself: 'Garden State was the first soundtrack to really hit you,' she says. 'You know, it's quite a groundbreaking soundtrack, and a lot of people have copied it so far because of the format that the soundtrack is as important for revenue for the film industry as the film. The Shrek soimd-track sold like 1.5 million and Garden State is probably at least up to there by now. That's a new thing started happening like five years ago.' The hype surroimding the Garden State soundtrack seemed unreal; the soundtrack has sold well over a million copies and currently remains in the top 100 on Amazon.com. Since its success, Imogen has been contacted by several stars and musicians to collaborate. Although she will not disclose who she has turned down, she proudly admits how she once helped write a track for Britney Spears: 'I didn't actually meet her, I just wrote a song for her. My vocals are actually on the record. I get kind of excited about doing things I've never done before, so the people I like working with are a bit more under the radar. I have done lots of collaborations but they're all kind of left-of-centre.' Earlier, I arrived at Imogen's studio only after having wandered through a nondescript labyrinth of warehouses, factories and workspaces in south London. It was a rainy day, and although Imogen usually rides her bike to her studio, she had taken a cab to keep her hair and clothes looking nice. She had been doing press since early afternoon, and my space of time was slated after a photo shoot for The Guardian. A comfortable atmosphere surrounds her private studio, throughout which electronic gadgets, furniture and compact discs are scattered. A drum kit occupies one comer, while a cello and Banksy print take up wall space behind it. On the other side of the room sits a rack of equipment worth fifty grand. She had to re-mortgage her house to afford it, and mentions that she even lived in her studio at one point. Although Imogen has been receiving considerable attention recently (during the last few months, she has appeared everywhere from National Public Radio in the States to the podcast of Blink 182/Plus 44 bassist Mark Hoppus), she has been making music since childhood. She initially studied piano, classical composition, cello and guitar, and learned programming and sequencing at age 12. She started out on an Atari computer and fortunately attended a school that had a small studio. As she grew older, she always knew she would pursue music but not necessarily singing. Her first solo album, I Megaphone, was released in 1998. It offers a darker and more organic sound, in contrast to much of her later work. After its release and a subsequent tour, Imogen returned home to an nightmarishly difficult record label: 'I had come off tour and finished the first record, and came back and they asked for second record right away,' she says. After she spent three months hard at work and felt really happy with the material being produced, the label kept saying she did not have a single, a confusing suggestion given that everyone else told her otherwise. She soon realised that the label was planning on shutting down. They had been telling her she had no single just to fend her off. But she was able to leave the label eventually, when it failed to meet its contractual obligation to release new material. The first track of I Megaphone, 'Getting Scared', was produced by Guy Sigsworth, who has worked with Bjork and Madonna amongst others. At the time, Imogen did not let him produce the entire album, since he had a strong presence in the studio and she had not yet found her soimd. During the nightmare scenario with her first label, during which she 'just wanted nothing to do with them at f just hope the day never arrives when people pay people at The OC to get a record on There are some for instance a tampon advert in Italy, that you say no to all...or my solo stuff either', she had remained in touch with Guy. She was busy collaborating with artists including Beck when Guy asked her to visit his studio. She went down there and worked with him to create a track out of a simple melody with lyrics. They made a good team, since he was generally frustrated with not getting credit for writing tracks while she was generally frustrated with not getting credit for producing and engineering them. Originally Guy had planned a project called Frou Frou as an album of collaborations, but the duo kept creating more and more material with each other. 'I eventually I started taking over,' Imogen recalls. The Frou Frou album was released in 2002 and is currently floating on the edge of Amazon's top 200. Despite her numerous collaborations, Imogen Heap has spent much of her time working by herself, for herself. She has worked over the years to master every aspect of the production process, and independently produced her most recent album. Speak For Yourself, which was released last year and features 12 tracks of hot electro-pop, lush instrumental layers and bittersweet ballads. When she set out making Speak for Yourself, Imogen wanted to broaden her musical and technical horizon: 'I wanted to find out what I could do, I wanted to see what I was capable of, because I've been working with so many people over the years and especially because I've been working with Guy so solidly,' she says. She was also annoyed about never receiving credit for much of her work in the studio, because in her experience many people have refused to believe that a girl could have performed such tedious automation: 'Even if I had someone else's name on there, people would assume it was them.' So this time around, she refused to let anybody help her record, mix or even set up microphones. When I ask whether she has had any particular difficulties as a female in the music industry, she says she has not had any trouble artistically or musically. But that does not amoimt to equality: 'If I got into a cab and the cab driver said, "So what do you do for a living, are you some kind of artist?" and I said, "Yeah I'm a musician", they would say "So you sing, do you?" If a guy got into a cab, it would have been, "Oh what do you play, a bit of guitar?" It is that perception that girls sing that annoys me.' Although she admits that it was unusual in a way that she got to work on computers when at age 12, she notes that nowadays 'anyone can buy a Mac or PC or some kind of sequencing software like Garageband.' Imogen Heap will be performing in London at Shepherds Bush Empire on 30 March, with support from Zee Keating. 1 14 March 2006 Don't mind me. Just cruising by, by the girl with the balloon. From 'Daylight Robbery' by Imogen Heap i 14 March 2006 How does it feel performing McDuff which was your debut role at 19? Has much changed? I have fond memories of the role and though a lot has changed, once you sit at the piano it all comes back. I had to re-leam the part as it was nine years ago, and yet though it changes its still like the first time you are singing. You are sharing the role with Gwym Hughes Jones. How does that work? Yes, another tenor is coming in for the last two performances as I have to be in Vienna. We haven't worked together on the role. Its such a great cast that's there is always the pressure to perform better and do my best. What is your rehearsal schedule like? It's usually quite hectic but its pretty normal this time. It's upon the artist's attention to make the best of it. How do you manage coping with all the travel and studying at the same time? Opera singers have to always study, all their life. The day you stop singing you stop studying. What sacrifices do you have to make to keep your voice? WeU you have to rest a lot. Sleep and rest is the best. Sports are always good. Cannot go to pubs and no smoking or spicy food. So your family hasn't heard you speak No, they've heard me speak. But the voice is muscle and you cannot overuse it. It needs to rest. How do you view your commercial success? Well it humbles you. It is about what I caU the media machine. Voice hasn't met much evolution -yet. Essentially, operatic voice it's the same voice as 60 years ago. But it's harder now as singers got breaks between performances, as it would take time to travel. Now it takes an hour or two and you're performing over again. Verdi's Macbeth is supposed to be his most sincere opera and most melodramatic too. Is it demanding? McDuff is not a big role so you have only one or two chances to have your say: in the solo choir at the death of his children for instance. How do you perform the crucial last fight scene? It's rehearsed and rehearsed. The sword fight is dangerous. I've seen near fatal things happen in my career with a stage sword. Do you have plans for a new CD? One needs to be careful and save output for when my voice is at its prime and reaches full vocal maturity and also record later. Do you prefer concerts or opera? Both are great. In concerts you choose what you like but then you have to be different roles night but can do what you _ like. In Opera you owe loyalty to composer and can be _ fully immersed character. Italian opera written with singers in mind when composed , how much has it changed now? What is the evolution ? Well it still has voice as its instrument but its harder as the orchestra is tuned higher in pitch now. As the Operas were being composed at the time they had certain singers in mmd Now its bccomo pigeon holed roles and characters and vciv rigid. Is there much experimentation? It's not good to experiment now. When you are 45-50 you can. There's a natural decline of voice between 50 and 60 and then I will ' have 25 years of experience behind me then it can be like Russian roulette. Where do you envision yourself? In which roles? Where I am. Maybe Madame Butterfly. Not much bigger, but carefully spent time. Your favourite opera and role so far? What would you like to do? Oh, so many, it's hard to name but I would say La Boheme and Rigoletto. They have such clearly defined and strong personalities. I would love to do Don Carlos. But I don't know if my voice will ever be that mature. Verdi's Macbeth has been called the best adaptation of Shakespeare but was not well received in Italy and not seen as faithful to Shakespeare. Well it's like 'This movie is based on a true story.' It's not 100 % faithful. I'm sure Verdi read and re-read it. But he was a genius who added to it and put it to music. Does Shakespeare make for good adaptation? Yes I think so, Fblstaff is great, so is Macbeth. Is it hard to play roles which have so many versions in theatre. Do they influence your work? You have to know the stoiy of Macbeth and this makes for fuller interpretation. The music is Verdi's creation. How do you feel before every performance? Every perfoiroance seems to me like its the first time I'm singing. Its cruel but you are only as good as last performance. Is it too demanding? It's a privilege to do what we love. There is constant travel. But I am based in Malta and take two months a year off to recharge and study. I admire peole who can do twelve months but I need time off to relax. Did you always see yourself in this career? Well, I have always sung, since I was 4, and got into trouble in the school bus where you could hear 'Calleja, shut up' constantly. But it came from nowhere as no one in my family has an operatic voice. My grandmother from my mother's side did, but was too poor to do anything about it. To cut a long stoiy short I t was 15 when I met my teacher who told me I should sing and have been singing and studying with him since. Do you have siblings? I have a younger brother and sister. My sister is in Brussels. Anthony, my brother, is finishing University in IT in Malta and wants to be with his girlfriend instead of meeting me. He's always like 'Nice to see you, see you next year'. But want my daughter to study in Malta. It will be hard when she starts school. She has travelled so much already... I better start collecting those air miles. She speaks French and Italian. I speak four languages, iPrench, Italian, Maltese and English. But have to learn two 0 more since I can't stand that my wife speaks six! That and horse-riding, I have to learn horse-riding. Where did you meet her? I met my wife on stage in Strasbourg. And been married too long two years. I'm proud of her. What was your education in? I would have done law but singing took over. I started at 19 and did advanced study to sing. Can't do both. What does the future look like to you? I have to compete with myself arid make the best of what nature gave you and explore its full potential. I want to be able to feed my family, be happy and comfortable. My goal is to produce the best art and leave the rest to fate and have faith. What words of wisdom can you give to upcoming singers as you are a role model for the young? Study, study and study again and then study some more. You have to maintain a healthy physique and its about being at right place at the right time. I'm humbled as my achievement came early but it's a blade which cuts on both sides. I had no \ contacts, no big names, and came from a j small island by myself with my teacher. I I'm proud of that. OBSES I Then Joseph graciously sang a couple of exquisite notes for me which sadly I cannot transcribe. arunimakapoor TUESDAY, 14 MARCH iBeaUft FAR-RIGHT NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR The Independent newspaper for Students of the London Imperial School College of Economics, Politics, Social policy. Geography, Law & French, History, Seismology, Medical Ethics, Veterinary Science, Botany, Toxicology, Petrology, Oceanography, Ichthyology and Accounting & Finance. WHEN EXPERIMENTS GO Why bother writing it all out? You don't know V HORRIBLY WRONG......* who were talking about or why it is funny. 1 WhatS the point? If your not going to take an :*Readersmustbe aWe to demonstrate Anglo-Saxonongins, conservative party membership, intf^roct in tho llninn it's umir nu/n hlicinpcc ¦ or BLATANT homosexuality to view these pages. Please note that images show arous-nimieai ni uie UIIIUII lia yuui UWIl uuailieaa. ing content and heart patients are advised to keep a neurosurgeon, ambulance and medical team on hand. . . ... Our favoured candidates win "moral victory" Winston S Jones Leader of Men The LSESU Lent Term Elections ended in triumphant moral victory as this newspaper's favoured candidates stormed home to victorious defeat. The Beaver once again demonstrated its leadership as the democrats' paper of choice, carefully selecting candidates for you the public to elect from a meritocrati-caly selected group of our former editors and close friends. There was fear that the numerical defi-ciancy of our favoured candidates' votes would force the cancellation of pre-planned victory celibra- tions, however, GenSecwhowewoul delectandy-ouwouldtooif y-ouhadanysense, Stacy M Ishmael annouced the Moral Victory(TM) at 4.22 am to an adoring croud of "Fleet of small ships carried moraly victorious candidates to the safrty of the East Building" carefully preselected onlookers. "We may have lost this battle, but we have won the greater war" Ishmael told the hordes of onlookers, as she described the "miracle of deliver- "Heroic Dunkirkesquc victory snatched from the teeth of despair" ance". The Beaver's fleet of small ships carried the moral victors to the safety of the East Building early yesterday morning. Beaver Editor Winston S Jones promised to "ride out the tyranny, if necessary for years, if necessary alone." The opposing forces were mysteriously unavalible for comment. The SS Carys gives everyone a ride (to safety) YOUR WEEKLY COLUMN: with J J Andre Farrello £SE Council m m. Ciao! Dining at my private table at chez Garique last night I was joined by two delightful guests, Rishi Madlani and Simon Chignell. The three of us began the evening with a delightful amous-bouche. Dinner then began with a terrine of petit pois mache and a well done onglet of Beaver. The main, a strictly WASP, non Halal pork steak was served with a side of international student on laptop. Gourmand Elspeth Thomas then presented the piece-de-resistance - a stunning three-tiered survey providing definitive proof that ethnic food is not wanted on campus by 100% of white middle class middle Englanders. (For balance, two General Course students were also asked) Even the price for enjoying the meal was right too, a snip at £3,567. Barely enough to consider throwing away to charity! INSiDE: If we talk about the environment, will eveyone forget that we are racist? page 4 - 9, Are gypsies stealing our homes? Page 2 + BaseD iDpimon Beatier -:-::uuaun dALlS * ." P aS«d^Sasasmia2Xfe<«^ »5^-r\ » «V s II Erp»v #? impression.,. , wilh Christoph van Christoph van Hjedk0k, Painter to the Court of ULU m 1 + '..IS • i Will single mothers push up the house prices? Yes. Pages 107-199 -h I c M K m(y 3mu Capionage BpedaO!! pm> Carys '^radshaw Blink Brammar-Grammar Industrial Espionage Correspondant Jumbo Tampon's FacebookCloneArmy has suffered a setback after "Engineers Floral Poorfoot and Jaded Curls fucked up" according to the ActionMan himself. While Jumbo was guarded in his comments to the Daily Beaver, covert industrial espionage tactics led to the above picture being obtained, clearly showing the mutant Jumbo trying to poke itself in the ear. Feature!! Tampon's original plans involved creating an army of voters to ensure success in the upcoming Lent Term elections, but his plans have ironically been foiled by his incompetent and "mentally challenged" assistants, who failed to take account of the effects of the toxin known as Rasta Is-Pale, and gave too much importance to the Tampon-flavoured facebookTam concoction. SU Gay population more dangerous than ever according to latest statistcs » Front Page This week was another endless sea of high-society events, parties, and snake-bite lunches with the girls to over-analyse our sexual dalliances with men. It would be childish of us to deny that our lives weren't changing. But for this night, none of us were going an5rwhere. Union men are like the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle: tricky, complicated, and you're never really sure you got the right answer. You know it's not your style but it's right there and you try it on anyway. I figured we made a good match. I was adept at fashion; he was adept at politics. And really, what's the difference? They're both about recycling shop-worn ideas and making them seem fresh and inspiring. But Van wasn't a Crush, he was a crash. Later that day I got to thinking about fairy tales. What if Prince Charming had never shown up? Would Snow White have laid in that glass box forever? Or would she have gotten up, spit out the apple, gotten a job and a health care plan and moved on with her life? Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you were, to become who you will be. Later that night I got to thinking about the x-factor. In mathematics, we leam that x stands for the imknown, a+b=x, but what's really unknown is what plus what equals friendship with an x. Is this an unsolvable equation? Or is it possible to transform a once passionate love into something that fits nice and easily onto the friendship shelf? I couldn't help but wonder... can you be friends with an x? As I sit here alone in my Bankside apartment in the glow of my iBook and my dusky-pink flimsy Calvin Klein vest and. hot-pants sleep-set, a Marlboro Light hanging ponderously between my dusky-pink-glossed lips, I ask myself: if we are indeed all searching for something, what is it that we are searching for, and will we, if ever, find what it is we need? Then I realised: men who are good looking are never good in bed because they never had to be. Even later that night I got to thinking about women. We are certainly no strangers to faking it - we've faked our hair colour, cup size, hell, we've even faked fur. I couldn't help but wonder, has fear of being alone suddenly raised the bar on faking? Are we faking more then orgasms? Are we faking entire relationships? Is it better to fake it then be alone? That's the thing about needs. Sometimes when you get them met, you don't need them anymore. pimon m(y 3mu 2-ply Beaver to be introduced Lany Londerbra News Editor Following the growing success of The Beaver in the critical "spilt drink" demographic Executive Editor Sann Jones has announced the introduction of the new two ply Beaver printed on polyweave high fibre paper with micro thirst pockets which allow it to remain strong and readable, even when soaked in up to 4 cups of Quad Cafe coffee. The Beaver has long been the market leader in this important audience, which comprises an estimated 48% of distribution, however strong competition from the Epoch Times and London Student has forced the change. "The Epoch Times offers slightly more absorbent paper than the old Beaver, we needed to go one better to reclaim market share" argues Jones, proudly displaying the hot, steaming, coffee drenched - but still enjoyable and informative - Beaver at the UGM last week. "We attempted to go half way with the content free "Part B", however the response was disappointing - many people mistook the absorbent pages for a vapid, poorly designed features section." The new 2-ply Beaver will ensure that the quad continues to be a happy - spill free -environment. Jones refused to comment on rumours of a forthcoming sub-compact format 3-ply cotton-soft beaver for more intimate cleaning tasks. HANG YOUK FAVE STEP 1;Pick person, cut out box and take a deep breath. STEP 2:Flt persons head on headless neck STEP 3: Stand back laugh and enjoy!!!! watch i: Need for water getting desperate, SU introduces wells The SU has decided that the need for free water around the LSE has reached boiling point. For too long rich students have been forced to pay nominal fees for bottled water, and finally something is being done about the shortage.. It seems that the pres-sue exerted by Kanan Dhru constantly showering pleas upon the Union at the UGM have finally worked. Controversially, the money raised during RAG week will be used to fund a system of wells and water pumps around the LSE campus, where students will be able to obtain their own drinkable water liberally. ; Sabb officers Rishi Maldani and Nat Black justified the move by reminding The Daily Beaver that Wateraid was in fact one of the RAG week charities. The money, which would have gone to help provide water to the 2.6 billion people who cannot obtain adequate sanitation, will now be poured into building work around the school. The move was supported by LSE Director Howard Davies, who stated, "this is a triumph for practicality. We never raise enough in RAG week to actually make a difference in some far off continent. At least this way we can start to see some real changes happening in front of us". Howard is believed to have been won over by the introduction of bidets to numerous toilets around the LSE as well as the wells and water pumps. He has long been a campaigner against the coarse toilet paper used throughout the LSE, and now he will be able to keep his rear as clean and shiny as his little bald head. Kanan Dhru was also happy with the decision: "I've been rapping on about this for twelve years now, so mts good to see something finally done. 50p for water is ridiculous". Will gay marriage push up the price of houses? Yes. Pages 56-78, 98-132 ar;, 14 March 2006 How has Opera changed since you first started performing in Denmark 10 years ago? I've been evolving through getting older, through singing other places than Copenhagen. I started out in 1996, but had been singing professionally for six or seven years. Since then I have been singing in opera houses around the world and also doing concert stuff. That develops me as a person, that develops my voice. I have been changing from singing younger guys, from singing parts that require a lighter voice, to singing older guys that require a heavier voice. This means that if you sing with a heavier voice you sing with more of your vocal cords, technically. That is more dangerOus to the voice, just like lifting a heavier weight is more dangerous than lifting a lighter weight. With a heavy weight you can hurt yourself immediately. That's why it takes practice and experience through singing. Like running a 100 meter race and running a marathon. Its useful to compare what sports persons do to what singers do. Its a bit of the same thing. Sprinters are young whereas people who run marathons are old. The same happens with cyclists; they use the last part of their careers to do the really big things as they build up and build up. A lot of discipline in the career then? That's very different. I try not to be too disciplined because if I wear a scarf in summer what do I do in winter? Also if I could never be to together with somebody who smoked. What would happen if I had to be together with somebody who smoked? So I try not to be too carefiil and bring real life into what I do. I find it interesting to see who my speaking voice is compared with my singing voice. Of course singing itself takes a lot of practice and taking care. But most practice I get is through working and not sitting at the piano. I love when I have the time to do that. That's the good thing about being here, when I'm in Copenhagen I have my family there, I have my friends there, so I use time on that. When I'm travelling I'm just with myself and can focus on whatever I role I have to play and training the voice. I cant smoke, I cant drink but that goes for everything, if I worked in a bank I couldn't do that either. Why have you only now performed at the Royal Opera House? The Royal Opera House is so eminent that it means they pick up people only when they are in a particular moment in their career and whom they like. They are benefiting from places where I was when I wasn't as experienced, mature or well, as good. The other reason is also about how much someone can do and where they can be. I have to put a limit to how much I travel. Balance between being in my home opera house and other places. But you've done Figaro often, is that right? Yes, I did Figaro often in the middle of my career, because he's supposed to be the normal guy. The guy people can relate to. A nice normal guy who then meets this situation that pisses him off. I hope people can relate to that and they can relate to me, and that I can do it in a realistic way. Do you prefer opera or concerts? Well, when I started off I didn't want to be an opera singer and just wanted to make a normal living from singing. The most realistic place was singing in the choir. I started singing in the choir professionally when I was 9. When I was a kid I wanted to be a musician and then when my voice changed, I realized I could make a living from singing. Realistically I thought of only concerts. But the I thought how can I make it the most fun for myself and so did music drama. Then went to the opera academy. I read that you did Kafka's Trial, and you played the / interrogator and uncle Albert. How did you do that, they are so different? Actually, that was really easy as when I was the inter-rogator I was a big bird! I had a huge head of an eagle, which was very crazy. A lot of the characters in the piece were animals. I had on a black suit and a huge bald eagle head. I looked and sang through that. And he's also sick for most of the part. What is it with you and sickness? But its very often like that because on the stage we are all kind of crazy. It's not so interesting to see a play about sane and normal persons. If you do Don Giovanni, for instance, there's a fun paradox there. People want to be impressed by the main char actor and fall in love with him. But he's actuaEy the villain, he's a psychopath. Still the audience would be disappointed as they want to be charmed by him. You shouldn't give the audience what they want but you have to know what they want. Do you get influenced by all these characters? Or do you perform them in isolation? Always in isolation. There's not two people on the earth who are like each other. They do get influenced by who I am. But playing difficult characters is not hard as its like playing two parts in the same evening, as you are always somebody else when you go on stage. Obviously some parts are closer to you that you can relate to. Can you relate to Wozzeck's character? Would you say you are a jealous person? Have you done anything in a fit of rage? I'm not really a jealous person, but there's jealousy in ; everybody, there is aggression in everybody, there is love in eveiybody, there is hate in everybody. We all have all kinds of feelings. What about Wozzeck's pathology and medical discourse in the 20th century? ; Yes, it's not only a question'of jealously, love and hate, but' him being influenced by people who torture him. It's 'based upon on true story' as they say, and the real Wozzeck case became famous as it was the first time someone used the defence that there was a reason why he did what he did. He was veiy poor and dragged around Europe by the Prussian army. Uprooted again and again. He was declared by the people defending him as a sick man when he killed his wife What has been your favourite role so far? Well I have done Figaro very often. Once we did it in Korea and that is the right piece of Europe culture to bring to another culture. An Italian opera, written by an Austrian composer, based upon a French play, taking place in Spain, just around the revolution in 1889. Its in the middle of Europe culture breaking up. But there are so many interesting parts, Wozzeck for example you can never sing it perfectly, to get the right notes is impossible. I bet that no one ever sang it hundred percent right.You can't hear when it's wrong but you can when it's right. If we fun on stage the audience has a nice time and I'm not afraid of giving people a nice time in the theatre. Wozzeck is not a nice evening but it's a very giving, interesting evening like La Boheme.You come out uplifted and believe in love and beauty, Wozzeck is strangely built on light beautiful forms. There are dances in it, marches in it, and quite light music at the core of it, which is strange. And there is a light fun dance in the most terrible scenes. That's one of the nicest thing about it. I have heard that Figaro is considered the most perfect opera ever written? Well, you can't say that. Some say it is, but it's not possible to write the perfect opera as so many things have to work together, then when it works its the most perfect art form. That's what makes it worth to sit all evening waiting for the time when all these perfect things meet, and then fall part, and we have to work to make it perfect again. These moments are worth the whole evening. Are you returning to the Royal Opera House soon? I don't know if I can say that but I have got a couple of pieces of paper in my bag that tells me that I'm coming back but can't say for what, but am looking forward to it. arunimakapoor i 8 14 March 2006 7 ©c/ ' °^^'-fi/rr, ^ I Qnd I^Qrt t ^ ^Qs „ 'scy / '^^Phr°'of. / Adventure/Comedy/Drama/Romance starring: Heath Ledger, Sienna Miller Director: Lasse Hallstrom * If ever there has been a film where a cinema-goer should be paid to go see it, this is it! Yesterday I had the misfortune of going to see what is, no doubt, one of the most disastrous films this year Casanova. The plot was convoluted, farcical and disjointed; the casting completely off -Sienna Miller was almost unrecognisable, not to mention awful; Heath Ledger, fresh from accolades from the 'gay-cowboy-film' and giving some viewers hope that his last couple of films were behind him, sadly, reaffirmed our belief that he is more 'miss' than 'hit'. What was more incredible was that great actors like Oliver Piatt and Jeremy Irons decided to partake in this drivel. As if the (mis)casting wasn't enough, the film was so incoherent, you frequently wonder whether they were all playing characters in the same film. Casanova, the film, is apparently about Casanova, the man.You wouldn't be able to tell that if you see it. Ledger, who plays Casanova, and is meant to portray the suave, debonair Venetian who woos all the women in Venice - single, married, widowed and just to convince the viewer that he was in fact this ardent lover, a few nuns were thrown in for good measure. The truth is, if Casanova reflects Ledger's portrayal, you have to question the 'wooing' skills because Ledger is incomprehensible - he has this annoying habit of mumbling all his lines so it is difficult to understand what he's saying. It's almost as if he has this pathological belief that speaking through closed lips makes him more understandable. But in retrospect, perhaps that was done to balance out Miller's character, who has a line too many. She portrays Francesca, a woman who masquerades as a man, professor, writer, lawyer, yet plays a woman, daughter, and student. And, yes, all in the same film. Francesca is the only woman Casanova loves, but alas, she is betrothed to Paprizzio (Oliver Piatt), a fat, obnoxious pork merchant from Genoa. Yet Paprizzio, while engaged to Francesca, has never seen her, let alone met her, so he travels to Venice to do both. While there he mistakens Francesca for her mother (Lena Clin) and falls madly in love with her. Meanwhile Francesca is in love with Casanova; Casanova is secretly engaged to Victoria; and Victoria is towards the end of the film, in love with Giovanni, Fransesca's brother, who incidentally was involved in a duel with Casanova over Victoria but since Giovanni can't fence and Francesca is good at it, it is actually she - Fransesca - who is involved in the duel. Confused yet? Bored yet? Irritated yet? Thrown in the midst of all this frolicking is the Catholic Inquisition in the form of Bishop Pucci (Jeremy Irons) who comes to Venice to 'clean it up' by condemning Casanova and his ways. Of course, that doesn't happen because all these plots miraculously unravel, all the right people love aU the right people, and everyone lives happily ever after. Casanova was directed by Lasse Hallstrom who usually directs great films - 'Cider Hour Rules', 'An Unfinished Life', 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape' and 'The Shipping News'being some of his best works. So this effort does nothing for Halstrom's record. shefaliroy Qua! des Orfevres Action/Thriller starring: Gerard Depardieu Diretor: Olivier Marsliall * * * * As part of the Renault French Film Festival, which runs from the 1st to 16th March, cop turned director Olivier Marshall's Quai des Orfevres is a brilliant French action thriller, made to suit international tastes, as the director himself proclaimed. This fast-paced police drama draws on the nexus between the criminal world and the police. The unwritten yet defined set of ethics that exist between the informant and the police officer, and how the two use each other to further their own ends. The film stars two stalwarts of French cinema in powerful roles, Daniel Auteuil, who plays Leo Vrinks the 'good cop', and Gerard Depardieu playing Dennis Klein the 'bad cop'. However in this case this is not a "routine" to gain a confession from a criminal; instead Klein actions make him as culpable if not worse than the criminals they are trying to catch. The story begins vidth a notorious gang of criminals whose crimes have become an embarrassment for the Police Department. In order to save face these criminals need to captured at any cost. The Chief therefore throws the gauntlet to his two top cops, Dennis Klein and Leo Vrinks. Simultaneously the imminent departure of the Chief also sets the stage for ruthless competition for his coveted post. Vrinks is not the 'good cop' in the conventional sense; his ethics are questionable when he becomes party to a murder in order to get a lead on the gang. Klein however crosses all boundaries when he arranges for Vrinks's arrest and later becomes responsible for his wife Camille's death. This tale of greed, revenge, murder and dubious morality is riveting as it complicates ones notions of right and wrong and judgement becomes difficult to pass. Being only the second movie to be titled after the address of the French Police Department, 36 Quai des Orfevres, it brilliantly portrays the underbelly of both the Parisian underworld and the police. Marshall's brilliance as a writer and director lies in his ability to mesh human emotion and culpability with ethical norms that lie in mostly grey areas. Klein is ruthless in his thirst for power and his ambition leads him blindly to follow the road to destruction, both his and of numerous others. The irony is that the crimes committed within the police department take centre-stage in comparison to those committed by the criminals. 'Vrinks and his men' form a homosocial group whose unconventional ways are as heroic as they are sometimes outside the law. However, their strong bonding adds a humane angle to a gruesome tale of revenge. Hierarchy, duty and the system become empty catch phrases that hold little meaning. Vrinks threats to the criminals become ironically his own undeserved fate. It almost fimctions like a Greek tragedy, where a fatal flaw in the hero (hamartia) caused by false pride (hubris) leads to undeserved suffering and later reversal of fortune (peripety) evoking pity and fear. Aristotle would have certainly approved of Olivier Marshall. In the question-and-answer session after the film, Marshall revealed how he had always wanted to be "a hero", following an unhappy adolescence and therefore decided to join the police-force in order to redeem himself. However he was soon disillusioned by the force and so decided to embark on the only other way to become a hero and became an actor, viriter and director. He has written and acted in police drama on television as well. He frankly admitted to "Americanising" his film as he felt French thrillers were a bit dated, and heroes these days came from the Anglo-Saxon media due to its professionalism and investment in roles performed. His is an attempt to rehabilitate the French thriller tradition. He added that the depiction of the police was unrealistic in the sense that they actually had bad uniforms, no sports cars or women. Marshall has vsrritten this story through enmeshing two different true stories and created a brilliant self-reflexive film that does follow Hollywood as one can almost imagine A1 Pacino in the lead role! arunimakapoor PROMOTION Obtain a pair of tickets to an advanced screening of Spike I/ee's The Inside Man starring Denzel Washington and Clive Owen, on Tuesday March 21. To win tickets, be one of the first to email us at tliebeaver.art@lse.ac.uk. 14 March 2006 a Drama/Fantasy starring: Johnny Depp Director; Tim Burton * * * * When I was still knee high to a grasshopper, I thought Edward Scissorhands was a psychotic killer. Neither I nor any of my friends had actually seen the film, so the name for us had evoked a Freddie Kruger style killing machine. Simply snipping with two fingers was enough to transform you into 'Scissorhands' and enabled you to terrify girls and younger siblings alike. To discover that the film is in fact a beautiful and tragic story of isolation and misunderstanding was almost as shocking as discovering Kruger under your bed. Snip Snip. Tim Burton wrote and directed the film and has crafted perhaps the most moving and well-told fable since Aesop laid down his papyrus. The story begins when Peg Boggs, the Avon Lady for a quiet little patch of suburbia stumbles upon Edward, the creation of an Inventor who died before he could finish him. As such, Edward has found himself with scissors for hands and alone in a vast mansion, and has apparently spent the intervening years in his garden practising his topiaiy. Peg takes him back to suburbia with her, and Edward inevitably becomes the talk of the town. Burton is famous for his kooky imagery, and the mind that spawned the aliens of 'Mars Attacks!' and produced the darkest 'Batman' films ever is on top form here. Studio interference could have ruined this film, but Burton thankfully was given total independence in bringing his story to life. He has said that this was one of his most personal films, and there seems to be a certain resemblance between Edward and the mad-haired director. To give some idea of just how wrong it nearly went, the studio apparently had originally wanted Tom Cruise to play the part of Edward, which would have been creepy in all the wrong ways. Instead Burton got his way and Edward Scissorhands Johnny Depp, in one of his first lead roles, is nothing short of stunning. Depp of course went on to become something of a muse to Burton. Most recently they worked together on 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' and 'Corpse Bride' but Depp had also worked with him on 'Ed Wood' and 'Sleepy Hollow' on his way to global superstardom in 'Pirates of the Carribean'. However, this performance is a million miles away from the swaggering Jack Sparrow. Depp's Edward is innocence personified, and every effort to commimicate or even interact with his new surroundings is a struggle. Some credit here must go to the makeup and costume departments, who succeed in transforming the annoyingly good-looking Depp into a creature who seems awkward anywhere near a female, whilst remaining cute enough to attract the carnivorous attentions of Peg's neighbour Joyce, a man-eating role seemingly relished by Kathy Baker. The true object of Edward's confused affection is the waiflike Kim, played by Depp's girlfriend of the time, Winona Rider. Like Depp, she too was hand picked by Burton after first working with him on 'Beetle Juice' two years earlier and while she is now perhaps more famous for being amongst the world's unlikeliest petty thieves, in this film she demonstrates the doe-eyed charm which first made her a star. The film also benefits from a cameo performance by one of Burton's gothic heroes and bona-fide acting legend Vincent Price. Playing Edward's Inventor, his gentlemanly manner and unique voice steal his scenes for him. As iff . one of the most poignant and beautiful films of all time, whilst the gothic imagery prevents it from becoming maudlin or mawkish. Anyone who has ever felt lonely, different or isolated will find something to sympathise with in Edward Scissorhands, a fairy tale for our time. legend has it he got the young Depp into a suitably gothic mood for filming by intoning Edgar Allen Poe stories from memory as they sat waiting in Price's trailer. The originality of Burton's story, the stunning performance of the cast and a heart-wrenching soundtrack from long time Burton collaborator Danny Elfman combine to make Edward Scissorhands kevinperry Exploring Barcelona's cityscape La Paloma, a night club and former haunt of Dali and Picasso is often guarded, not by an imposing troop of square-shouldered, no-nonsense bouncers, but by a mime artist. This apparently keeps down noise pollution by stunning the queuing drunken revellers into bemused silence. This is a strategy I would only expect to find in Barcelona, where the eccentric is commonplace and artistic license is given to every project undertaken. After the fall of Franco in 1975, design became the city's big business and its global calling card. The quirkiness that resulted, although fascinating, leaves you straining to work out what the rest of the city preoccupies itself wdth, what the people who are not architects or performance artists get up to all day. Venturing a little further out of the city, I expected a vast industrial or square mile type vista to rise up from the cityscape of endlessly well-formed buildings. I was relieved to discover that a large section of the nori;hem coastline is home to an eyesore of port industry. Yet the area's apparent abandonment and dereliction did nothing to quell my suspicions that the people of Barcelona only engaged in glamorous pursuits. Sonar is a three day multimedia and 'advanced music' festival which happens in mid-June at sites all over Barcelona and conveniently makes for a brilliant post-exam wind down. The music is outstanding, but the festival goers can err on the side of slick industry types, and given that we were camping by the beach, my unwashed state did not go unnoticed. Nonetheless if electronica and techno are your passions, you will find many people happy to banter the hours away with you. The Sonar evening venue was on an industrial estate, and once again I was smug to think that I had foimd the hidden rmderbelly of Barcelona, where life was conducted with no emphasis on the aesthetic. In a way this was true, but even this most mtmdane of places was transformed, its blandness providing a plain canvas for incredible visuals and its flat hard surfaces acoustically perfect to assist DJs like Laurent Gamier in making the earth vibrate beneath you. As the sun showed its face in the early hours, land which in a grey-skied London would be earmarked for a new Aldi was glowing golden, and had become one massive piece of interactive art. On a hopelessly misguided back route to Pare Guell -a playful sculptural park created by Gaudi the city's architectural hero -I stumbled upon an ordinary, quiet, residential hiU that had been fitted with escalators. Very thoughtful. The Park itself is full of wonder, enrapturing children and adults alike with its curious mosaics and organic structures that nestle seamlessly with the plants and trees. Both the escalators and the park felt distinctly like they were made for the locals and were never intended to be the preside of tourists. Similarly the dedication of the city to completing Gaudi's most famous unfinished endeavour, Temple Expiatori de la Sagrada Familia, some eighty years after his death, shows that the city is not driven by a desire for style alone. Sat outside MACBA, (the excellent contemporary art museum), on Subuteo style fake grass surrounded by a forest of cardboard cut out trees, I was amused by how many different groups of people were vying to occupy such a small segment of the city; skater boys were heckled by old men and tourists darted between the two groups narrowly missing the graffiti artists. But at least the locals really use their public spaces (on Barceloneta's beaches beware of the men who particularly enjoy using public spaces to do normally private things). On the plus side in Barceloneta you can also find a few restaurants that serve paeUa so tasty that I was tearing the heads off baby octopi with glee. For something less frightening to the belly try La Fonda, an affordable little gem of a restaurant in the Barri G6tic district. For dessert head to La Boqueria market off La Rambla where diabetics should go with caution as there is a jaw-dropping pick and mix stall. It might not be classy, but a quick straw poll of my friends showed that the sweeties easily beat the drama of Sagrada Familia as most memorable part of the trip. Second to that were the lions clustered around Christopher Columbus at Port Veil, reminiscent of those in Trafalgar square, though far easier to moimt as my friend nimbly demonstrated. katefofcher B 10 14 March 2006 Pinstripes and pointillisnn Students in classes laterally thinking and literally doodling, researchers solving research problems and spilling coffee in interesting patterns, these are typical of the forms of creativity one might find at LSE. As we are aU aware, LSE does not offer art's coiirses. Its grim embrace of the social sciences is often thought to narrow the diversity of student types to be found here. Experimental fashion, louche coteries of cultural dissidents, haircuts that look like they may have been done by an arthritic trainee Edward Scissor Hands, these things are not to be found at LSE. Neither does the insitution lend itself to artistic flair. One of the few exhibitions that LSE has hosted in recent years was by someone calling himself a 'strategic artist' and 'facilitator'. A what and a what? (you cry aghast). Well, more like an occupational therapy for corporations. Julian Burton's remit as he saw it was to 'make pictures of problems' in order to help organisations 'talk about them.' Ear be it from me to say that 'My Problem' by 'Geoff - Mergers and Acquisitions' is necessarily going to be a non-contribution to the world of art, but it remains true that pinstripe and pointillism very rarely sit comfortably together. That said we must be aware that strict delineations between the artistic and the 'other' do not reflect the course an artistic life may take, let alone the human condition as communicator and communicated. Mark Rothko studied elementary mathematics and economics at Yale, Lennie Lee studied philosophy at Oxford, Kandinsky had a position teach- ing law and economics, all these people and more have been artists in non-artistic settings. Perhaps the guy with the Saville Row three piece sitting next to you in lectures is the next Basquiat? Perhaps that's not rapt attention on his face but the throes of a fatal heroin overdose? Who knows? But for those of us not blessed with talent for production, then we all benefit from consumption. On the top floor of the Old Btiilding, en route to the Shaw library, the Anthropology Department provides us with a selection of ethnographic photo prints, featuring various shots of traditional cultures, Eastern and African. Familiar fare is offered; people carrying stuff on their heads, people carrying stuff on their shoulders, some shots of the processes of handicraft and a poorly framed pic of some Moorish stone carving. These may well have been ripped straight out of National Geographic it is hard to say. What can be said is that they represent an uninspiring identity for a subject area looking to move away from tribal voyexirism in order to survive as a viable academic form. At least they're something. You may remember, from the lucid moments of your fitful dozing there, that the Shaw Library plays host to numerous portraits of our revered Directors. Here we get William Albert Samuel Hewins, director at the turn of the last centuiy, rendered in vivid realism. Dr John Michael Ashworth looks every inch the office drone. His elbow cramped by a hulking computer monitor, the other arm jostling for space with a filing cabinet, there barely seems room for his conspicuously displayed filo-fax. Sir Alexander Carr-Saunders, painted in inky oUs, looks frankly ill. Gaunt, liverish and with eyes that look like weeping wounds, one can only presume that the artist, a Mr Coddstarum, hated him. At the far end of the Shaw sits Sir William Nicholson's portait of the Webbs. The picture is dominated by a gargantuan and industrially-suggestive red brick fireplace. The mantle dwarfs Sidney who slouches against it looking avuncular and not unlike Trotsky. The main problem vsdth this picture is that Beatrice looks totally mental. Himched forward vsdth a manuscript slipping off her lap she stares blankly ahead, past her husband, into the empty recesses of the painting. Most disturbingly her hand is raised in front of her in the air, and appears to be in the process of groping at nothing. It was some time before I realised that she was supposed to be warming herself by the fire which stands some 10 feet away from her and looks like it's out. Moving into an appraisal of the eating areas we find the Brunch Bowl to be modestly appointed with black and white photographic prints in cheap plywood frames. The content varies from dutch-angled shots of various LSE buildings, to insanely dutch-angled (like. East Indies-angled) shots of LSE buildings that can't help but lend a vertiginous taint to your jacket potato. The Garrick's bland interior bears nothing of any decorative character let alone artistic merit. It is almost a visual black-hole, an aesthetic vortex. It's possible to imagine that if anyone tried to put up any art it would be inmiediately consumed by the vortex, churned in the aesthetics of coffee house banality, and spat out as a cushioned stool somewhere in a suburban Cafe Nero. At least the Tuns has some greasy hand prints on the wall. The marriage of art and academics on the LSE campus We can't leave without mentioning our animalistic guests-in-art. Easily misiden-tified as an installation-advert for a well-known brand of chocolate bar, our rotund and implacable Penguin sits outside Waterstones like a fat sentinel. Hopelessly alone (we can hardly expect a mammoth penguin to find solace in the company of its neighbour, a violent dwarf elephant) and woefully out of place, my first response is to drag it to the Thames and attempt to send it back, whale-style, to a place that isn't a street in central London. Looking at him makes me wish that facsimiles of non-flying creatures cemented into the ground could actually fly. That said, if it went I'd miss its kitsch bravado. Next to him stands our elephant, all 2 foot of him. He is a sinewy midget in some kind of battle-ready stance, feet pugilistically set, vicious little mouth set in a scream. It looks blind in both eyes, which is fitting as he stands on some of those Braille paving slabs which help the blind not walk into traffic. I feel slightly for him as his ears are nearly as big as he is, but really the whole affair is about as offensive as having a live elephant chained to the steps. However it should get better. 8 more sculptures are on their way, donations from Canadian businessman Louis Odette, a 1944 altimnus of the General Course and a noted patron of sculptures to public spaces. I'm not going to end with one of those predictable wails about the dearth of public art. As if art is more important than chairs and salaries whilst being the cure for all knovm social ills. LSE is a university not a gallery. However it would be folly to think that a visually stimulating environment is anjrthing other than key to avoiding experience as 'grind', to a brighter, sharper consciousness, and if such a thing can be said to exist, to living the good life. danielyates Nippon into Ubon High prices are the only shortcoming of the sister restaurant of celebrity hotspot Nobu Bom the second-son of a Japanese lumber merchant, Nobuyuki Matsuhisa has come to be the most widely recognised Japanese chef in the international arena. His dream to become a renovsmed sushi chef arose when he first visited a sushi restaurant with his elder brother - he's made good on his dream, and much more besides. It was during his years in Peru cooking predominantly for Japanese businessmen and diplomats that he began getting a taste for the Peruvian influences and flavours which subtly pervade much of his modern cooking. Many years later, after trials and tribulations involving his first restaurant burning dovra, nine years of debt repayment and starting a successful restaurant called Matsuhisa, he agreed to start a new restaurant partnership with Robert De Niro in New York. Their restaurant empire now straddles 3 continents with 9 different locations, including London, Dallas and the Bahamas. Japanese readers might also recognise him as the Japanese representative on the legendary "Iron Chef'TV series, a bit like "Ready Steady Cook" on cocaine. Upon entering the gated complex one simply hops onto a lift up to the fourth floor and is swiftly whisked off to a new world of culinary discovery and gastronomic delight. On arrival within the restaurant proper you are greeted with a cry of ''Welcome to our establishment" in Japanese which is always a pleasant novelty, although sometimes it may take some of your more timid guests by surprise. Interior design is sleek, angular and modem - tasteful schemes of wood, glass and stone seem to be the order of the day for any new oriental restaurant, but this whilst it may be cliched it is no bad thing. Service tends to range from polite and attentive to extremely friendly and helpful, but it has never appeared poor to me despite the constant allegations of snobbishness and aloofness by its critics. Staff are always eager to explain the menu to newcomers who may be unfamiliar with Japanese cuisine and some of the more obscure terms which are used in the menu. The food on offer is exquisite and is comprised of Japanese cuisine, sometimes fused with Pemvian flavours (especially spices), ranging from Peruvian spiced chicken skewers to a vast array of sushi and more traditional and substantial main courses. Absolute essentials which I highly recommend are: Lobster Ceviche, a South American style of eating lobster by 'cooking' it only through the acidity of lemons (meaning in effect that it is nigh on raw) and then placed in lettuce leaves and filled up with fresh vegetables; Tempura Rock Shrimp with Ponzu Sauce is wonderfully succulent prawn coated in crispy batter and served on a bed of crisp lettuce with a beautifully piquant sauce; Blackened Cod is a legendary dish of gorgeous flaky cod coated in an exquisite glaze - simply but sublime; Beef Tobanyaki is a superb combination of fillet of beef and marvellously tasty mushrooms complemented by a delightfully flavoursome sauce. Ubon crafts amazing food and serves it alongside fantastic riverside views. Sadly, the prices are prohibitively high, but perhaps save up and visit as a post-exam celebration! garethrees . • 1--- 14 March 2006 n a Album Review Calla Wolfmother Collisions * * On Calla's fourth fuU-iength album, the band (named aftei*, a beatitlM yet deadly lily) offers up a combination of turbulent rock which is- dark, sinister, strangely hamitmg and hovering: on the cusp of emo and rock and roll. There are few distinct qualities that hit you whilst first listening to: the album. The::tracki3 are: atmospheric and capable .of anything from the wicked'beauty and violent:,,aggTession of tracks; like 'Swagger':and 'It :Dawmed On,:: Me', in which lyrics depict talesv ol bruises :and pain, to the sensitivity of tracks like 'Stumble', in: wMch the lyrics 'hold me close and:: don't let me go' reach fur* thest into the depths of pop. !rhis is certainly an album which, most pop fans should shy away from, since the tracks aren't particularly catchy nor do. they inspire you to listsai to the album on r6peat.::Mueh:of the success of. Collisions finds itself la vocals coupled with blurred baselines which smoothly intertwine with the lyrics. Aurelio Valle takes centre stage here, with his frayed cracking voice setting the mood whilst providing songs with depth characteristic of the blues, grunge, and rock. Despite all the positives to take from it, it has to be noted that, barring 'Imbusteros', the tracks hardly deviate .from each other. They all have similar arrangements, tempos and feels. Overall, Collisions should go a long way in calming the fears of fans of their previous album Televise by ensuring that the music remains dark, menacing, and understated, yet perhaps .now with a tinge more rock. saurabhsharma They are a band in demand. My interview with Wolfmother before their sold-out show at London's Scala was delayed and then cut short since their late arrival meant cramming my .demented inquisition alongside my more handsomely paid peers from NME and several representatives of the international press. Whilst bassist Chris Ross seemingly balked at a tedious schedule of interviews, playing truant at the day's proceedings, the band should be no strangers to attention. They are already superstars in their native Australia, where their debut album has garnered massive success which has been reflected by the praise of critics. Influential Australian radio station JJJ awarded them its 'Album of the Year' award and the band also had an unprecedented six songs voted on to its annual top 100 list. When drummer Myles Heskett and Andrew Stockdale, the band's impressively afroed lead singer and guitarist, finally arrived they were both laid back and happy to chat away, to such an extent that for a second it seemed as though they both might have been very stoned. Indeed, some critics have attempted to pigeonhole their sound as 'stoner' rock, but they teU me that they're 'not that absorbed'. To my ears, they are everything but average, drawing influences from countless genres. They say, 'We want to take elements of stoner and mix it in with elements of punk, or take the finger plucking from country and mix it with straight-out rock. We take things from hip-hop or anywhere else. I wouldn't want to designate one scene.' Myles cites Kyuss and his subsequent discovery of Pink Floyd as key influences, whilst Andrew seems to naturally draw influences from anywhere he can find them, saying that even at school he could liBiiS socialise with any scene and listen to everything from Black Flag to The Blues Explosion. This openness to eclecticism has helped them create an album with several unusual highlights. 'I don't see why people freak out over panflute solos,' says Andrew, 'I think for our next album we're gonna get an entire flute orchestra together.' Their debut LP was recorded in Los Angeles with Dave Sardy, a famous producer who has worked with the likes of Oasis, The Dandy Warhols and Marilyn Manson. Andrew teUs me that their openness to his ideas helped the band progress and move on from the level they had already achieved after the years of jamming and rehearsing that had led up to the EP, which was self-released and brought them considerable attention. They are approaching the end of this tour and feel triumphant that their work has brought fresh recogni- tion. It has been a far cry from the nightmare gig that followed their last visit to London. As Myles recounts the tale, Andrew seems physically pained, wincing 'I feel like we shouldn't even talk about it, I don't wanna go there.' Apparently a hectic departure from London, en route to New York, involved a very stoned Andrew and his tour manager breaking into his old flat in order to retrieve his passport, then flying halfway around the world to a photo shoot which involved sitting in the snow for several hoiu-s. By the time they played their New York showcase, Andrew had lost his voice and Myles was suffering with flu and finding that his rented drumkit was disintegrating mid-show. As their PR shuffles them off to sound check, I hope that the Scala will be kinder to them. By the time I next see them, striding onto the Stage to an exultant roar, they are changed men. Gone is the laid back and carefree attitude, and in its place is classic showmanship. The show is pure foot-to-the-floor rock. Part Zeppelin riffs, part Sabbath howl and part Floyd psychedelia, they unite a diverse audience of haiiy head-banging AC/DC fans, huge sweaty skinheads apparently on loan from Millwall riots and skinny girls with blonde pigtails, awakening an initially lethargic Tuesday night crowd. They roar through a crowd-pleasing set, with 'Apple Tree', 'Another Dimension' and 'Mind's Eye' being particular standouts. Be sure to catch them at Koko for their final British date next month, because as they exit stage right, world domination surely awaits. kevinperry Club Preview What? Oxir Disco Where? Canvas, .Kings Cross When? 18 March 10;30pm - Sam How Much? R-ee Every week for three years And Did We Mention Our .Disco? has packed out Plastic People for an :alraighty night-of the best electro :aHd::lndie;: Unfortunately all :the ibest: things come to end :aad Our vDisco is no exception. But fear not becuase D'Ss Eory Phillips, Glyn Campbell and Den Odcll are throwing one damn fine party to: make up for it. On Saturday 18 March, Our Bisco will : be taking over the :Kings Cross.. mega-warehouse Canvas and inviting an impressive roster of friends, to compU-ment their work on the decks and really :make the party swing. :: Tim Sweeney, Tim Goldsworthy, 20 Jazz Funk Greats and the Optimo DJs will =all' be playing :tunes: late into the iftight. Tim. Sweeney runs the worM famous New York radio show-Beats In Space', in which he features the most interesting new music from around the globe. "iBm Goidsworthy is one half of the legendary production. samashton Alternative hip-hop ¦««i _ In a world of conflict and confusion, many turn to music for refuge, compassion, liberation or plain old joy. The same goes for those music lovers who turn to the beat and rhyme-driven sanctuary of hip-hop in order to escape the complexities of daily life. But if it is refuge we seek, one must wonder why it is that music lovers increasingly turn to a form of musical expression that is often filled with violence and grief. No longer confined to 'gangsta' rap, even the lyrical narrative of mainstream rappers about life on hostile streets or as a college drop-out is enough to make many join the Black Eyed Peas in querying, 'Where is the love?' WeU on 26 and 27 February, the love was at the Jazz Caf6 in Camden Town where two of underground hip-hop's pioneers. The Pharcyde and DJ ?uestlove, delivered positive vibes straight from their respective hometowns, Philadelphia and Los Angele, America's east and west coast cities of brotherly- and Californian love. First up, MCs Romye 'Bootie Brown' Robinson and Imani Wilcox, the two remaining members of the quartet The Pharcyde, dazzled the crowd with their rythmic rambunctiousness. Though lacking two of the original group's talent, Tre 'Slimkid' Hardson and Derrick 'Fatlip' Stewart, the crew delighted the crowd by rejuvenating jams such as 'Oh Shit', 'Passin' Me By' and 'Pack the Pipe' from their first album Bizare Ride II. After the group delivered an extensive and electrifying encore set, they profusely thanked the audience and departed the stage as the crowd continued the Wilcox-initiated chant 'Love All...Love All!' The cloud of marijuana-tinged smoke had barely lifted from the stage when the crowd's attention was drawn to the beats eminating from the DJ booth in the back of the club. There, DJ ?uestlove, headphones circumventing his afro like an inverted ring around Saturn, sparked up the decks for the remainder of the evening's musical love affair Ahmir '?uestlove'Thompson is the drummer and co-founder of the Grammy-winning, hip-hop band The Roots, credited with pushing the limits of sonic innovation. The son of the leader of a 1950s band, Thompson is also known for his deep appreciation of the muscial roots of his genre: funk, soul, and hip-hop pioneers. That appreciation is reflected not only in the The Roots' sound but also in his frequent spinning of the turntables. His Jazz Cafe performance did not disappoint anyone. Thompson played a smooth patchwork of old and new gems: James Brown, The Jackson 5, A Tribe Call Quest and Tupac, and he innovatively mixed the original tracks with those sampled by Kanye West. With his hairpick characteristically poised in his giant tuft of hair, Thompson channeled his love for hip-hop through the decks while the colossal speakers pumped it into the jiving bodies crowding the dancefloor Most underground hip-hop groups sign with independent rather than commercial labels in an attempt to maintain hip-hop's original essence. DJ Kool Here, the man credited vwth inventing hip-hop music, once commented that hip-hop is 'not about keeping it real. It's about keeping it right.' ?uestlove and The Pharcyde not only keep it right but also pretty damn funky. melindabrouwer (0 o 14 March 2006 At: •• --^ . ¦•• ¦¦ ¦••¦¦¦ ¦ Across I. In index, it is easily found out (4) 3. Papers central to bypass Portugal (8) 9. Market has black and white issue (7) 10. German flower found in hot region (5) II. Degenerates tried, a stereo mixed (12) 14. Detonate has explosive compound (3) 16. Old chaps, tilts, chickens (5) 17. Sounds like past flies, fresher's favourite (3) 18. Student drinking trio (3,5,4) 20. Freight vehicle moves together (5) 21. A summary of drunken rugby play (7) 22. Bad event found in dire straits (8) 23. Initially a new action loved by some (4) Down 1. Confused 1 across with far below, quickly (8) 2. Perhaps will possibly improve? (2,3) 4. Appended sunrise without start of day (3) 5. Excellent start to making beds (12) 6. Late short helper belongs to you (7) 7. Heavy measurement not reversed (3) 8. Slippery instances confuse rustic albino (12) 12. Named male's award (5) 13. Summed up in mad container (8) 15. Biggest part of thirsty, change not wanted by Heathcote (1-6) 19. Place of study and positive switch come together (5) 20. Battered quack brought back (3) 21.1 hear victory (3) 6 9 7 4 6 7 1 5 7 5 9 1 -T6 I \ 1 1 3 5 8 6 4 9 4 i 4® 1 I 8 5 6 8 5 6 4 8 ypi.............. ......""1.....4]""""''" 5 1 3 4 1 3 4 1 i 2 6 : 9 5 2 6 2 9 ..........r ii 8 5 6 3 5 8 7 ..........Hi ¦ a .2? +-.0 n . aJC/3 f-* s ft 3 (U > 'Sb Td 3 O O) fi I Dahlings, dahlings, dahlings! I'm shedding a tear or two as I write this, what a shame our journey has to take a summer break so soon! It's hardly even summer with all that rain last week! I tried attending your weekly crushing festivities on Friday and ended enjoying a gin and tonic or two in the Tuns followed by Mr Shaw carrying me home. So, I will join you all again for St Patrick's to bid farewell to my children. I would just like to say what a marvellous audience you have all been this year. Fear not, your Auntie will still be around on PulseFm and Facebook 'twenty-four-seven' (is that how you youngsters say it?) Mr Shaw and I are going on a two-month swingers' cruise which I am awfully excited about. I am sure I will have lots of stories to tell when I get back in October. Why not come along with us? So, boys and girls, until then stay safe, wash your bottoms and do not be afraid to have noisy, rowdy or kinky intercourse in the summer! What the hell should I give up for Lent? It can't be chocolate, sex, drink or ball scratching. Any good ideas Auntie Shaw? Cheers you saggy bosomed old hag! AU Rugby I do beg your pardon young man. These juggernauts of mine are hardly saggy! This is not the only picture I have of myself. Over the years, I have managed to grow quite perky breasts. I will disprove your horrible accusations by posting up some picture on my Facebook profile. You could always ask Mr Shaw. Ooh, the cheek! I should not really be answering your question but Auntie is ever forgiving. Cheekiness also is a major turn on. I am usually in the Shaw Library on Thursdays at 1pm so please do not hesitate to pay me a visit, boy. Ah yes, your question, how about giving up men and trying to be with women until Easter, do you think you can do that? Do not be afraid! Auntie Shaw My mum, who works for the SU, has a fancy man among the LSE students. He was one of the candidates for last week's election, who was campaigning outside in the cold. According to Mum, he's tall, lean and oh so gorgeous! But she used me to get to him and it was so embarrassing. She's old enough to be his mum. How can I make her give him up? She's been seeking the older version of this lad but can't keep any. LC Oooooh, what a lovely little slice of gossip! I asked Mr Shaw do to a bit of investigating and unfortunately for you we have found out your mother works in the old building reception and the fancy boy is on The Beaver editorial board. Your mother does not need to give him up, tell her to keep at it and results will soon follow. We need a bit more scandal on this campus. Sex, drugs and all that jazz. Auntie Shaw After spending last week campaigning hard on Houghton Street, I found that my budget instant-tan was rubbing off all over the yellow flyers I was distributing. This was both embarrassing and degrading (the fake tan, not giving out yellow flyers...) and I fear the way that it rubbed off onto the campaign material may have dirtied the whole affair and left me looking shabby and disheveled. Do you know of any tanning studios in the area who will ensure a less fake result? An Anonymous First-Year Dahling, Easter is just around the corner. Why not take a cheap EasyJet trip to the Med and develop a real tan? Mr Shaw's fake tans are not particularly attractive either. Good luck! Love you, Auntie Shaw Do you have schizophrenia Auntie? Or is it just old age and infirmity? Constance, 2nd Year My scrotum may be growing laugh lines but that does not mean I am not young at heart dear! I am more on the ball than you could ever think. Forever young. Auntie Shaw I love you, I do, but what's with the not so flattering mug shot? You're FAR better looking in real life. I keep telling everyone but they don't believe me; they say you've either sat on something unpleasant (or pleasant, each to their own) since surely our problems can't scandalise you THAT much! Please rectify, or I won't wear that turtleneck you... Kat O' Hara I am flattered you think the real thing is more attractive but I am not sure we have met, child. I thought I hid my superhero identity quite well. Evidently not. Well, I may have a new look when my column returns. Although, I have been praised for the classic chic theme I have got 'going on' (I am quite enjoying this student lingo, can I pull it off?) in this mug shot. Hugs and kisses. Auntie Shaw What's going on? It's my last proper term at the LSE, what happens now? If (fingers crossed) I do graduate, then what do I do? My degree doesn't have a set career path but I love it. "This sucks...can't I just stay in education? Shall I just do a masters? Leaving this place will mean the end of the Tuns and the Quad, and how will I be able to pick up your regular column? The thought of graduating is freaking me out. Comfort me, Auntie, comfort me! Distressed 3rd Year Philosopher Ah, the ever growing fear of uncertainty! Do not be afraid child. I too, felt the same way when I was almost done with my degree. I had no idea what is God's name to do and I turned out just fine. I am sure you will find your feet. Why not travel somewhere sunny for a while and explore new coconuts and male fish? Take care. Auntie Shaw Auntie, I'm addicted to cartoon porn, seriously. Charlie H., 1st Year Dearest Charlie, I too enjoy the occasional arousal through the medium of animated pornography. Why hot get your lady friend invovled and you can both enjoy it together. If, however, it is not her cup of tea, then I know two people who would not mind joining you for a bit of a shindig! Oooh! Pokemons and powerpuffs. Auntie Shaw Right boys and girls, that is all from Auntie this year. Bosoms, Hugs and Kisses! xoxo Vhat's your favourite memory of LSE? iTo singular moment really stands out, but I think the combined hours spent in the ieaver office have it. Other highlights include: James Ejrton (god rest his true blue oul) yelling 'NOT IN MY NAME,YOU DURRTY DURRTY FRENCHIES' to a :roup of French students singing the Marseilles at last year's LSE Entente Cordiale elebration; spending the night on Hampstead Heath (not what you're about to ssume) with a group of friends after finishing our exams and watching the sun go ip and come down; recording Salah Mattoo's tirade against the Beaver on tape; mbezzling Union funds to bankroll an extravagant editorial lifestyle and costly ocaine habit. Vhat advice would you give to October's new batch of freshers? four first year will be the most hedonistic, your second the best and most changing ,nd the third the most profound. Plan accordingly for your sanity. Vhat's your biggest regret? Jot having enough time to do all the things I wanted to do and spend time with all he people I wanted to spend time with. Suitably facile, I think. (Also, I would have Dved to have been given an honorary finsocship. I gave them a Beavership, afterall) 'uture plans...? loe correspondent for the Louth and Wolds Agricultural Trade Gazette. If my ntemship there doesn't come through (I'm in the final round) then dental trade aumalism has some exciting openings. iBeaver|i4 March 2006 13 What's your favourite memory of LSE? Bizarrely enough, the election count night when I lost Comms. I was very disappointed, but the way everyone rallied round me made me feel that it didn't really matter that I had lost, because I have had an amazing experience and found some amazing friends, and that will stick with me for a long time. What advice would you give to October's new batch of freshers? My main advice would be to find something you enjoy and really go for it. What's your biggest regret? I don't really believe in regrets, but at a stretch I would probably say I have a habit of holding back on things and believing I can't do them. I never ran for C&S, which in retrospect is something I would have liked to have done. Elaine Londesborough Former News Editor, The Beaver 1 Suspects some of this year's outgoing union luminaries... r ion 'here the were the 3s senti-Street ;Term ' batch of ; LSE is !S some Df that ibrary -VIedia c lectures, k kind, ally, wear What's your favourite memory of LSE? Winning the ULU Cup and League with the Mighty Mighty Firsts ranks pretty highly. But then again so does watching unsuccessful hacks cry on election night, gazing voyeuristically at a very public orgy at the Barrel and taking magic mushrooms. What advice would you give to October's new batch of freshers? Don't listen to the cynics who say that the LSE is a sex-starved and overly pretentious machine that churns out investment bankers. It is completely what you make of it. Get involved. And, of course, join the Football Club. What's your biggest regret? Not running for UGM Chair as I was trapped in my house with two midget dogs with diarrhoea. Future plans...? The novel has been put on hold... I'm off to the States to be a Fulbright Scholar. Sam Lehmann Sports Editor, The Beaver John "Knoxy" McDermott Football Club Captain What's your favourite memory of LSE? Being suspended from exams for a term, being snubbed for the captaincy of my football team, losing in the final of the ULU cup, falling over on Houghton street and everyone laughing at me. Oh, and heading to the Vera Anstey suite to bury my head in a Beaver for an hour every Tuesday afternoon. What advice would you give to October's new batch of freshers? Get involved in more than one thing, but not too much. Obviously join a sports club and write for BeaverSports. Go to the Barrel but don't go to King's. What's your biggest regret? Not going to King's...Wish I'd got involved in the Beaver earlier, shouted and thrown paper more at the UGM, and won the cup with the Fifth Team. Future plans...? Continue whining about how unlucky I am and that I'm the perennial underachiever. Probably end up queuing up for soup in Lincoln's Inn Fields «PDS®WIEPHCT H6HNEPW COUNTY 3-2545 What's your favourite memory of LSE? Rosebery Hall What advice would you give to October's new batch of freshers? Ignore everyone on Houghton St, don't go to lectures, physically and verbally abuse anyone involved in the SU. The Beaver/Pulse is much more fun than anything else. What's your biggest regret? Everytime I have introduced reform I wished I had gone further Future plans...? Whore myself out for a few years to repay my LSE debt, then do something I want to do. Simon Chignell Residences Officer What's your favourite memory of LSE? Too many to mention, but all connected with the lovely people that I've met. Working on the paper's been great, even if I didn't always think so at 4am on a Monday morning. What advice would you give to October's new batch of freshers? Secure a 2:1 in the second year, then party like an 18 year old for the final year, but with the people you've spent ages getting to know and love. What's your biggest regret? Je ne regrette rien. covNi fit RA ^ Jess Brammar Features Editor, The Beaver 14 iBeaver|i4 March 2006 FEATURES: LONDON IN-DEPTH London: Though there have been problems terrorist attacks, London is still the The Beaver explores the diverse communities that make life in London the envy of the world : Peter Currie shares his Tottenham memories On the night of October the 6th, 1985, a young man sits with his pregnant wife in front of a crackling black and white television screen. They're watching shaky footage of a concrete council estate, the sound turned down so as not to wake their two year old daughter, and are seeing a full scale war erupting between the police and the urban, predominantly black, youth who dwell there. And it's not the "Tottenham Riots" banner at the bottom of the screen, or the distant sound of gunshots that makes them realise that all this is happening barely three hundred yards from their front door, it's the fact that the news reporter is standing in front of the battered turquoise Volkswagen Beetle that belongs to their Ghanaian friend, parked a few streets away to the north. Whilst my parents watch the unfolding footage, a forty year old father of three, PC Blakelock, is being hacked apart by an armed mob, as he tries to protect firefighters attempting to extinguish the fires ravaging the estate. The Broadwater Farm where these events took place, that's my London. When I was born in the relative affluence of the Whittington hospital the following spring, an army of police in riot gear were staging a full scale occupation of the Farm, Winston Silcott was languishing in a cell on false evidence, and my impeccably mannered 50 year old Caribbean neighbour still had the memory of being told "a man like him" ought not to drive his Church minibus down the West Green Road. Yet my experience of being a child in Tottenham was completely colour-blind. In Tottenham, children were idolised in a way completely alien to White British culture. For me, a five year old child growing up in the most ethnically diverse neighbourhood in Europe, there was nothing unusual about the cocktail of diets, tongues, and occasional headscarf of my friends. I never made the connection between the foreign conflict reports that flashed on the screens and the quiet, wide eyed children that would appear in my school classes three months later, I never understood why my parents' friends from university would never visited us at our house. I was a white, protestant male born to professional parents, and the heart of London was the only place I was unaware of it. As I grew older, though, the fact of race was forced upon me. When unchaperoned by kindly parents or local friends, my colour, or perhaps lack of it, was painfully obvious. My first early altercation with the local underclass was made worse by my failure to realise that of all the passengers on the bus, the piercing, soon familiar cat-call, "White Boy!" was only applicable to myself. The discrimination I came to face during my London adolescence was not the institutional kind the rioters on that autumn night had been subjected to, it was a social prejudice that manifested itself not in bureaucratic injustices, but crime and, as my patience wore out, violence. Yet I was fortunate; my contemporaries and their ancestors had to face prejudice of both varieties when they stepped out of the ethnic ghetto that had been constructed, whereas my fortunes could only improve the further I removed myself from my Tottenham home. In my forays outside of my neighbourhood I encountered a London of high art, classical music and sanitised heterogeneity, that most at LSE would recognise, but the London I am grateful for, the London I love, is my Tottenham home, dirty, graffitied, and, yes, bristling with conflict. I didn't save myself from my fragmented, violent neighbourhood, it saved me; because on the London streets of my childhood I, an Anglo-Saxon, heterosexual male, was taught what it is to grow up an outsider. Stacy-Marie .Ishmael gives us the lowdovm on Jamaicans in London Think of the Caribbean. Yes, we enjoy the sun and sea and sand. No, those seriously appalling Malibu commercials don't actually have any basis in reality. No, we don't all 'speak Jamaican.'Yes, your attempt at a 'Jamaican' accent is embarrassing. Now, think of the Caribbean in London. Did you think of Brixton Market? Of Notting Hill Carnival? Did your mouth water at the memory of the roti and jerk chicken served at Mr. Jerk on Wardour Street? Have you ever danced to the riddims of Sean Paul, 'Pon The Replay' Rihanna or Kevin 'Turn Me On' Lyttle? Whilst we may have nothing as visible or established as China Town, the influence of Caribbean culture on life in London has a long history. Ever since the Empire Windrush docked at Tilbury in 1948 with 417 West Indian immigrants aboard, the cultural landscape of London has never been the same. Along with hopes for a better life in the 'mother country', the Windrushers brought with them their languages and religions, their music, food and fashion. From patois to pelau and rocksteady to reggae, it is impossible to deny that the people of the ex-colonies have taught a thing or two to their former colonisers. It is true that Notting Hill Carnival will never rival the awesome spectacle of Trinidad's, and that the Hackney 'yardie' accent is an abomination compared to the mellifluousness of real Jamaican patois. To really experience Caribbean culture, you'd need to visit the islands themselves. In the meanwhile, however, you could do worse than to check out some of the places listed below. New Beacon Books - 76 Stroud Green Road, N4 SEN (10 minute walk from Finsbury Park Tube) - An amazing collection of African and Caribbean literature. The staff are both knowledgeable and friendly. All Caribbean restaurants are not created equal. My favourite is currently Roti Joupa. Located at 12 Clapham High Street, Roti Joupa seems to have been transplanted straight out of Trinidad. The food is mouth-watering and very affordable. If you looking for the ingredients to make the perfect jerk chicken, Brixton Market is your one-stop shop. The fruit and veg stalls on Electric Avenue are highly recommended. For the sake of my bank balance, I try to stay away from Dub Vendor. With shops in Ladbroke Grove and Clapham Junction and a brilliant website at dubvendor.co.uk, Dub Vendor is the definitive source for all things reggae (and dancehall and rocksteady and ska...) Their Soca selection isn't bad either. You might also try the flagship HMV on Oxford Street - they usually stock the latest and greatest in dancehall and soca, alongside some reggae and calypso gems. Arthur Krebbers reveals that Dutch people have infiltrated London en masse If there's anything lacking from the genes of your average Dutchman, it'll have to be patriotism. We never quite seem to understand what makes our county, that tiny blot on the world map so 'special'. Being amongst that collective of queue-jumping, foul-mouthed demi-giants, it is not seldom that we revisit our childhood dream of setting up a farm in Australia, a hotel in the Alps or an IT firm in the US. Yet whenever we are abroad, we seem to magically retrieve that social glue that forms the building blocks of our nation. During our holidays, we head off en masse to the same vacation resorts, where Dutch often morphs into the seasonal lingua franca. London,undoubtedly Europe's foremost multicultural metropolis, is estimatedto contain somewhere in the region of 20.000 Dutchmen. Many of these are expatriates, thus only here a short stay, others have crossed the North Sea and never quite seem to have bothered to buy a ticket back. Virtually all of them speak perfect 'Gentleman's' English and socialise very well with the autochthonous population. Nevertheless, a large number has the occasional need to be with compatriots. This desire is often fulfilled by a mixture of fairly superficial cultural happenings whose equivalents go fairly unnoticed in our country of origin. The Dutch community in London celebrates with joy St Nicholas' day, or that landmark day when our city Leiden escaped the army of the Spanish king several centuries ago. We organise markets for home-grown Dutch products (no, not the obvious...): liquorish, pancake mix, distinct flavours of custard, yoghurt etc. And, of course beverages. There are often consumed in the entourage of the Dutch cafe 'de Hemz', situated for some bizarre reason in the centre of Chinatown. Every first and third Thursday of the month this bar organises a special Netherlands night, which is always extremely popular. Our community in a nutshell: congregating for a laugh and a Grolsch. Features Correspondent Laura Sahramaa challenges the notion that we need to identify w^ith one particular place Where are you from? is not a question that's supposed to be difficult to answer. When you embark on a new enterprise like graduate school, it's one of- those get-to-know-you questions you get asked all the time, and the people doing the asking assume you don't have to think about your response ~ no more than you have to think about how to answer the question that typically accompanies it: "What's your name?" But for many people, knowing the answer to "Where are you from?" is not as straightforward as knowing their own names - far from it. For some of us, the question doesn't provoke a one-word answer like "Brazil" or "Ohio" or "Singapore" so much as it pro- vokes a mini-existential crisis. I am speaking, of course, of the growing number of people in this increasingly interconnected world who belong, in some way, to more than one place. Perhaps their parents fell in love across continents - Sri Lankans marrying Australians, for example. Or perhaps they are second- or third-generation immigrants, with one foot in the old world, one foot in the new. Or perhaps, like me, they are citizens of one nation who find themselves living in another. I am Finnish - was bom there, all but my immediate family lives there, I speak the language - but I've lived in the United States since I was two years old. Personality-wise, my siblings and I are entirely and tjrpically Rnnish: reserved. taciturn, strong-willed. Our parents raised us with Finnish values and we have considerable Finnish pride, including being entirely devastated by the Finnish men's ice hockey team's recent loss to Sweden in the Olympic gold-medal game. But though we visited our home country every summer, the fact is that we didn't live there every day. We didn't go to school there, couldn't tell you what slang words the kids use, or basic things like what the major telephone companies are. I doubt any of us know all the words to the Finnish national anthem, but we've sung the American one hundreds of times. So we are strangers, in one way or another, everywhere we go. Growing up going to American schools we were always 'the Firmish kids' with the weird last,name; among our family in Finland, we are the 'cousins from America.' My mother joked recently that we should call ourselves not Finnish and not American, but something in between: 'Transatlanticists.' At LSE I have met other people who share this odd sort of homelessness: kids with conservative Bengali parents who were raised in England and love hip-hop; people with French mothers and Chinese fathers who grew up in Frankfurt. We talked of our envy of people who have easy answers to the "Where are you from?" question we had to try to answer a thousand times at the beginning of the school year. But I think we all also felt that London makes things different. According to the last census, conducted in 2001, 30% of Londoners were born outside England. More than 300 languages are spoken in the city, and there are at least 50 non-indige-nous communities with populations of 10,000 or more. It's a city full of people from somewhere else, or trying to straddle two cultures (or more!). And perhaps that's why it is possible to feel less like strangers here than anjrwhere we've lived before. So when people ask "Where are you from?" we can say, "That's a tough question for me to answer, but London is my home." FEATURES: LONDON IN-DEPTH iBeaver |14 March 2006 lis in the capital - riots in Brixton, trouble in Tower Hamlets, IRA bombings and Islamic destination of choice for people from all over the globe Features Editor Joshua Hergesheimer points out that Hackney really is the world in one borough The first question that people ask when I tell them I live in Hackney is inevitably "where is that?" I blame the tube map. Sure, it is a wonderful, colorful web of interconnecting lines that makes you feel like you could go anywhere in London if you just hopped on and headed in one direction for a while. And therein lies the problem. Not only is the tube map geographically misleading -Bayswater is not south of Paddington, and Chancery Lane to Earringdon by tube requires two changes and four stations when it could be walked in less than 15 minutes - but it is also ideologically subversive, convincing you that anything outside of range of the tube must be a cultural or social wasteland, the "this be where dragons dwell" section on explorer maps of old. I live near Hackney Downs British Rail Station. No, it is not in 'the countryside;' it is in Zone 2, just east of Highbury and Islington. I take the train seven minutes into Liverpool Street Station and then the Central Line four stops into Holborn to get to LSE. But I might as well be commuting from Mars as far as some people are concerned. The benefits of living in a tube-free area are obvious: cheaper rent, much cheaper food, and the feeling that you are just that little bit off the beaten track. However, the benefits of living in Hackney are so numerous that I can't possible tell you about all of them - that would spoil the secret. However, I will give you a few tips. Ridley Road Market Ridley Road Market is described as a "World Market It is slam packed on weekends, but even during the 'J week it is busy. This is definitely a local market. And by local I mean Jamaican, Ghanaian, Nigerian, Turkish and Polish. There is a still a die-hard set of original folk - the old East: London crowd - but the feeling is like being in the middle of a market in Lagos. It is conspicuously cosmopolitan but definitely not pretentious. There are stalls selling West African and Caribbean music and j videos, beautiful printed African enormous tubers other root vegetables, one of the best fish displays I have ever seen, t-shirts for pound, electrical gadgets, fresh produce, pots and pans, dried and salted fish, cow foot, sheep stomach and sliced ox liver You can buy your boiler chickens two for a fiver, maybe three if they look a bit scrawny. You will be pushed aside by testy ladies from Barbados who sense a deal at the stall behind you. The nearest British Rail station is Dalston-Kingsland on the Silverlink North London Line. You can also walk from Hackney Downs in about 10 minutes. Go before the tube invades in 2009. Smoke some herb beforehand -you won't regret it. Stoke Newington High Street Head north from Dalston-Klingsland Station. After about 10 minutes, the style changes abruptly. The minaret of the giant mosque looms over this predominately Turkish section of Hackney. Gone are the wine shops and jerk chicken of Dalston - in are the TUrkish barbershops, internet cafes, clothing stores and mangal/barbeques. You can smell the charcoal burning and the meat roasting. Eresh pide is being baked daily, and the scent wafts into the street. If you want the best kebab in Hackney, I suggest Ararat Kebab. The guys there will serve you a massive kebab with fresh salad in either a pita or a flat wrap (which I prefer). Stoke Newington, Church Street Want to see yummy mummies pushing smug toddlers past organic juice bars? Want to window shop at little boutiques or stop for coffee or breakfast at a cosy cafe? No, this isn't Netting Hill; you are now on Stoke Newington Church Street. Two stops up from Hackney : Downs on the line I to Enfield town, or up Stoke \i vington High Street Church Street one of the largest contingents of middle-upper class couples with young children. The street is bohemian but upmarket, and further up are two wonderful areas: Abney Park Cemetery, a spooky place full of tombstones overgrown with vines and an abandoned church; and Clissold Park, a wonderful open space with a deer enclosure and areas for rabbits, birds and, of course, pygmy goats. Great for a breath of fresh air. London Fields One of the nicest parks in the area - second only to Victoria Park, the Kensington Gardens of east London. There are biking paths, huge trees, open spaces for doing yoga or playing football (or lighting off firecrackers), and a cracking good pub called simply The Pub On The Park. The area is still predominately "old Londoners" but the demographics are changing fast. Definitely worth a trip before or after Broadway Market (see below) Broadway Market The area just south of London Fields park has for the last few years hosted a Saturday organic farmers market. It is a bit "lattes and , laptops," as my wife put it - for people who wear vintage clothes j and think they are just a bit more happening than everyone else. There is a sense , of community, but a large enough mix of people j makes it a fantastic place to chill for a few hours with a coffee and a big shopping bag for fresh produce. You can take British Rail to either London Fields or Cambridge Heath from Liverpool Street, or walk along the canal east from Islington in about 45 minutes. Clapton With Clapton Road almost constantly in the local Hackney paper - it has earned the nickname "Murder Mile" - it might seem strange to champion it as an essential Hackney sight. However, if you want to raise your street "cred" or think you have the furriest hood around, then head up from Hackney Central Station through the Narrow Way and along Lower Clapton Road. But watch out or you might end up with a cap in yo' ass, as they would say in American. But this reputation only serves to give the area more of an edge. Thankfully, there are very few yuppies looking to gentrify this area, as they have done near London Fields. Flanked by Brazilian and African stores. Lower Clapton road has everything you could possibly want, off of Clapton Road is the Pogo Cafe, a cooperative with funky maps on the walls and a little more than eccentric people serving the food. It is at the top of Clarence Road after you pass through the narrow Way Stamford Hill Missing your kosher supermarkets? Head up to Stamford Hill, home to one of London's largest Hasidic Jewish communities. Almost all the pedestrians you will see will be observant Jews, with even the smaU boys wearing the black top hats and suits. A fascinating look at a corner of London that has been completely overhauled to meet the needs of its community. 15 minutes north of Stoke Newington. So there you have it. Obviously, this brief overview simply glosses the surface of what is clearly the best part of London, if not the whole world. If anyone disagrees, come out one weekend and check out what is on offer. And if you still won't come round to my way of thinking, I'll meet you on Clapton Road at midnight and we can settle it the old fashioned way -^ a fried chicken eating contest. vega www. 1 home wax cloth and ¦i : H i li li U iBeaverl 14 March 2006 FEATURES: POLITICS In defence of Blair Peter John Cannon argues that faith in God does not imply that Blair governs through divine providence think if you have faith I about these things, then ^Lyou realise that judgement is made by other people... and if you believe in God, it's made by God as well." This statement by the Prime Minister, on ITV's Parkinson show, sparked quite a reaction in the media and the political arena, with people arguing that it was frightening that Tony Blair's decision to commit British forces to war in Iraq was influenced by his religious beliefs. Some claimed that Blair was putting his decision to go to war down to God. In last week's issue of The Beaver, Blair's statement was described as "deeply disturbing," evading "the democratic right of the British people" and as "another step down the road to the kind of creeping, insipid Christian moralising that pervades in the US." The truth is that the Prime Minister was not saying that God told him to go to war in Iraq, or even that God influenced his decision to commit British forces to war in Iraq. Tony Blair was merely saying, when questioned, that God will judge him on whether what he did was right or wrong, a statement that is unexceptional from someone with religious beliefs. Some also argued that Blair's statement gave weight to the Islamist argument that Britain and America were waging a Christian 'crusade' against Islam. This is what was argued by a spokesman from MPACUK, a Muslim political pressure group, who claimed that the memory of the Crusades 'still sends a shiver down the spine' of Muslims around the world, which is a little hypocritical, as Muslim rule in the Middle East was spread by aggressive wars of conquest, something to which the Crusades were a late response. If this were a Christian 'crusade', then why would the United States and its allies choose to remove a secular dictator like Saddam Hussein from power in Iraq, allowing Muslim religious parties to have more power in that country? Obviously in Afghanistan, it was a theocratic regime that was removed, but this was only after the Taleban allowed Al-Qaeda to use the country as a base for its attacks against the United States. Tony Blair's statement did not undermine the 'democratic rights' of anyone, least of all the British people, who at the last election clearly did not vote Blair's Labour government out of power, no matter how strongly the anti-war movement felt about the war in Iraq. Blair referred to being judged by "other people", as well as by God, so to claim that Blair was seeking to avoid judgement by 'The Prime Minister was not saying that God told him to go to war in Iraq, or even that God influenced his decision to commit British forces' anyone other than God is misleading. Blair was simply exercising his right to freedom of expression, a right which obsessive secularists seem to think people in public life should not exercise when it comes to religion. For all the talk ,of how the Prime Minister's statement is at odds with 'secular Britain', the fact remains that Britain is a Christian country. According to the 2001 census, 72 % of the population, or 42 million people, in Britain are Christian, with almost 5% of the population, or almost 3 million people, following other religions. The Prime Minister expressing his belief in God is therefore hardly out of place. Of course people may argue that it is not Blair's belief in God that is the problem, but the fact that he has publicly mixed this personal belief with his political decisions. In practise, if a politician has genuine religious beliefs, these are bound to affect their political beliefs and political decisions. Blair is not exceptional in this; many of the founders of the Labour Party, such as Keir Hardie, were evangelical Christians. Throughout British history, many politicians have been directly influenced by their Christian beliefs, such as William Wilberforce and the Clapham Sect, who campaigned against the slave trade and slavery. As for the worry that Blair is taking Britain "down the road to... creeping, insipid Christian moralising," the reality is that most moral values that people in Britain take for granted come from Christianity. It is wrong to assume that because Christianity is a religion, it must be antithetical to personal freedom and liberal democracy. These freedoms and modern democracy developed in Christian countries. Recently, Christian groups played an active part in opposing the government's legislation against inciting religious hatred, which restricts people's freedom to criticise religions. Instead, it is militant secularists who seem to be doing the most to restrict peoples' freedom, such as the freedom of people to publicly express their religious beliefs, and the freedom of people to choose to send their children to religious schools, schools which frequently perform better than their non-religious counterparts, and which are often oversubscribed. They also seem to be the keenest to impose their beliefs on everybody else, for example in their ridiculous attempts to ban public references to Christmas, to end the public display of Christian symbols, and to remove Christian worship from schools. If secularist attempts to expunge Christianity from British public life were carried to their logical conclusions, the results would have serious implications for British national identity. The British flag is made up of three crosses. The national anthem has the word 'God' in the title. The head of state is crowned in a Christian ceremony. Christianity has been an important aspect of British identity throughout history. Sir Winston Churchill, in his famous 'finest hour' speech during the Second World War, said: "upon this battle (the Battle of Britain) depends the survival of Christian civilisation". In another famous speech, Churchill said that the government's policy was "to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us". If Winston Churchill, the man who was voted 'the Greatest Briton', can "do God,," then why can't the current Prime Minister and anyone else who chooses to? FEATURES: POLITICS iBeaverl 14 March 2006 |i7 The right to offend Muin Boase argues that Britons must fight hard to maintain their country's racial harmony Camus once said,"'differences are the roots without which the tree of liberty, the sap of creation and of civilization, dries up." Two weeks ago Trevor Phillips, the Chairman of the Commission for Racial Equality (CRE), echoed the growing chorus of tough talking public figures who blame multicul-turalism for eroding British national identity and question whether Muslims have integrated into British society. Speaking on the Jonathan Dimbleby pro-a fortnight ago, Phillips said that Muslims "must accept" free speech. It seems, however, that he isn't prepared to listen to what they have to say. When asked what he thought of a recent poll claiming that 40% of Muslims want to apply Sharia law to they own community, he replied that they should"'live somewhere else." His message is stark: 'if you don't like the rules of our country, get out.' Yet why should socialists, . anarchists and fascists be allowed to peddle their nonsense and not Muslims? A strong democracy is one that can tolerate dissent and criticism of its core beliefs. There is no question over whether Muslims pose a threat to democracy. The same poll found that 91% of Muslims felt loyal to Britain. Nor is there is there any chance that Sharia law would ever be introduced, since Muslims represent less than 3% of the population. So why have Muslims once again become the subject of such media fascination? The silent majority of Muslims are caught between two enemies. Inside the Muslim community there is a minority of extremists who are determined to pervert Islam in order to further their own political ends. Their main weapon is a media industry, which is only too happy to profit from the shock, fear and anger they create. Outside is the extreme right eager to play its part in this theatrical circus, portraying Islam as the enemy with- in. And then there are those who are simply out to exploit populist sentiments to further their own careers. Most Muslims do not feel the need to justify their religious beliefs and are sick of those who politicise their faith. When Trevor Phillips accuses Muslims of not integrating, he confuses the symptom with the cause. African-Caribbean boys are up to 15 times more likely to be excluded from school than white boys. Trevor Phillips recognised this problem last year when he called for black boys to be taught in "separate classes because the educational system [was] failing them." Failing local schools are the very same reason why some Muslims choose instead to send their children to faith schools. It is also the reason why wealthy parents send their children to public schools, where they receive a better education, go on to have better paid jobs and a higher standard of living. The roots of exclusion arise, not out of religious teachings, but deprivation, poor schools, derelict estates, and racism. Phillips is a keen supporter of New Labour's attempt to build pride in Britain. However, under New Labour, Britain has very little to be proud of. Whilst Tony Blair preaches about the virtues of democracy, he continues to support and allow the sale of arms to some of the despotic countries in the world such as Saudi Arabia and Egypt, which regularly torture dissidents. Meanwhile, domestically civil liberties are continually eroded in the name of security. Integration only happens when people aspire to the values and principles of the society they live in. The problem is that no amount of spin can conceal this government's betrayal of some our most fundamental values. As Chairman of the CRE, Trevor's job is to tackle stereotypes, not propagate them. This means tackling racism amongst all ethnic groups. As the CRE comes to the end of its life to be replaced by the Commission for Equality and Himian Rights in 2009, we must not lose sight of the achievements of multicultur-alism. Britain has achieved a level of racial harmony unknown in any other country in Western Europe. It is therefore sad to leam from the recent ICM poll that 63% of Muslims had reconsidered their position in this country and had wondered whether they should stay or leave. We may, as Trevor says, have the 'right to offend'. But in oiir haste to offend, we risk chipping away the bedrock of tolerance that holds us together. s T The heart of student living MOVE IN WITH YOUR '^1 Want to live with your mates? With UNITE you can! Book a flat with your friends and experience the ultimate student lifestyle. All rooms are ensuite so you won't need to queue for the bathroom and with a shared kitchen and lounge area, there's plenty of room to socialise and relax.Plus, the great facilities, with a superb social calendar to match, mean there is always something Cf) rt . . ^ going on! MORI 18 IBeaver I 14 March 2006 FEATURES: LAW European^ , , Ombudsman P, Nildforos Diamandouros, the European Ombudsman since April 2003, is'responsible for investigating complaints about all. aspects of the European Union. He spoke to Features Correspondent Steve Glimmer about his role, and what the future holds for the EU Firstly with regard to the European project as a whole - It is frequently stated that there is no definite finishing post with regard to the growth and role of European integration. The Commission's recent criminal law proposals highlight further growth. Do you have any thoughts on where the limits of European integration are found? I understand your question as relating to what is often called the "depth" of integration, not to the geographical extent of the European Union. In other words, the question is: how much of the business of government - that is the provision of various public goods (including regulation) -should be carried out at European level and how much at other levels (national, regional, local)? Logically, there are two prior questions: (i) what should be the balance between public and private goods: that is how much should government do? and (ii) what specific public goods should be provided? Our shared commitment to democracy means that there has to be considerable room within the European Union for different countries to choose to give different answers to these questions. That is itself a limit to integration. Furthermore, the greater the divergence between the separate answers that different countries in fact give to the two questions, the less scope there is for integration. Even if all the countries of the Union were ready to make the same choices or indeed common choices, about the size of government and the specific public goods to be provided, limits to integration would still exist, because the effective and accountable delivery of public goods often requires de-centralised decision-making. Ultimately, therefore, the limits of integration are set by democratic choices in the countries that are integrating and by the need for good governance in the public sector. With regard to the above question, do you think those limits on European growth are likely to change with time? Yes. By definition, democratic choices are not fixed in stone. Good governance is also an evolving concept. Habermas, the renowned EU scholar, states that EU growth is currently limited due to a lack of demos or a lack of a 'European people'. To what extent do you feel that this critique is accurate? ¦ I share this view, but not the pessimistic or idealistic implications that are drawn from it by some commentators. Different European countries largely share a common set of values: rule of law, democracy, human rights and there are clearly many fields in which European integration has brought, is bringing and could continue to bring great benefits to all countries. Furthermore, a European demos is not something that either exists or not, it is a matter of degree. There are significant variations in the extent to which individuals, even of the same nationality, feel themselves to be European as well as Finnish, German, Polish, Spanish or whatever. There are also tendencies to national differences in what people mean when they identify themselves as "European" and variety in the extent to which different countries' political cultures promote, or even admit, a European dimension to individuals' self-understanding. A European demos is not, therefore, something that can be created only, or even predominantly, at the European level: in large part it must be the outcome of changes in national political cultures. Given this popular conception of a lack of a 'European people', to what extent do you feel that it is the European Ombudsman's job to remedy that? Indeed, is it often easy to just see your role as functional, rather than as an integral part of European democracy? The institution of the European Ombudsman was established by the Maastricht Treaty as part of the citizenship of the European Union. So the evolution of the concept of Union citizenship goes hand in hand with the development of the role of the Ombudsman. One of the reasons for establishing the institution was to help bring the Union closer to its citizens and to address the vexed question of the Union's democratic deficit. I believe that the 'functional' dimension of my role, namely investigating complaints about maladministration in the activities of Community institutions and bodies, is key to ensuring that citizens feel that the Union administration is there to serve them. Moreover, the Ombudsman has a vital role to play in promoting a more democratic form of governance in the Union. We should recall that ombudsmen throughout the world have often been established as part of a commitment to respect human rights and the principle of democracy. From the mid-1970s onwards, ombudsmen were established in post-authoritarian states, such as Greece, Spain and Portugal, as well as in many countries of Latin America and elsewhere in the world. After 1989, the transition from communism to democracy in Central and Eastern Europe resulted in a large increase in the number of ombudsman institutions in these regions. From a different angle, the deliberate provision of choice, such as the opportunity to decide between alternative avenues of redress (for instance, between using the remedy made available through the court system or the ombudsman institution), constitutes a distinct feature of the pluralist variant of democracy. In turn, the capacity to provide citizens with choice serves to enrich the range of "products" such a democracy can offer its citizens and, thus, enhances its quality. So the Ombudsman, to my mind, is an integral part of a more democratic Union. Many people are not truly aware of the existence of the role of Ombudsman. If it genuinely is to work as intended and help the people's representation within the institutions is there arguably room to state that his role should be better publicised? Since becoming Ombudsman in April 2003,1 have worked hard to raise awareness about the right to complain. I have already visited all 25 Member States, some more than once. These visits proved their worth. Each one included meetings with citizens and potential complainants to explain the role of the ombudsman, exchanges of views with public officials to underline the importance of non-judicial remedies and discussions with my ombudsman counterparts to determine how best to defend and promote citizens' rights. The information visits involved public lectures, meetings and media interviews which offered multiple opportunities to inform citizens of their rights and of how best to use them. We continue to intensify our efforts to target information to potential users of the Ombudsman's services by addressing non-governmental organisations, chambers of commerce, law and public administration departments in the academic world and other interest groups at seminars, meetings and conferences. Our range of publications in up to 25 languages is distributed widely and made available electronically to help raise awareness of the Ombudsman throughout Europe. As European Ombudsman, I will continue working to improve the quality of information to citizens and potential complainants about their rights. The sustained increase in complaints and requests for information received by the Ombudsman (up by 53% in 2004 relative to 2003) indicates that we are moving in the right direction, but much more remains to be done. o 03 a> o g o go O 2^ o O o M ^ OO w S u ^ U'^ o eoo ^ co.-y w P !¦ 5?=l KO H COWX L) oj lao^ U i.5 c 2 M a) CO OS a.|-° oS E5 3 > >yf Vi ft > S ^ O ^w>:z;u eO'TJ 0(/) ••fH oSi^ O CO M = M " ,-J o j_J c (2E?g i Ph ^ 3-1 W t) X £"• Oc»i feO CB po g cor/2 W .. w -Crl O S S 2; 3 c w S a « o o>S U.J! Oc/2 Si Sw , P ^ 0 fl ;:i ° § S C > tp ffiw> 9 9 I o S HH Q; ^ CO C 3 5 ^ ^ID ^ C 2 oit; > S-M o nH^W>C/30 C iJ 0 C 3 s " a? c |< o > JD r: > C w 35 l> >¦ Lj <3 > a> DW> co}H rH ptH W {> 0) o c/DH>0 S Ct< W C/] gw;> UH> C3 •BP <3 OJ U J •4-> a> 03 o;« O CO ^ CO ,_( M-( 5 .. 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"Sporty" and "fun" are not normally words associated with Accounting and Finance students, particularly the postgrads. Mistaken impressions of geeky MSc Finance and Economics students and boring accountants in MSc Accounting and Finance were dispelled during the student/faculty weekend where teams from both progranmies squared up against MBA and MSc Financial Economics teams from SBS. The 1st round matches had each school's teams playing against each other. LSE's MSc Accounting and Finance students beat their MSc Finance and Economics rivals 3-2. The SBS teams fought a well-matched internal battle, with the MBA students coming out on top against their MSc Financial Economics colleagues. The final was a thrilling and exhilarating match for spectator and player alike. LSE dominated play in the first half, scoring first through a goal by Pantelis Thalassinos. Through excellent SBS goal-keeping and a few misses in front of the goal, LSE were 2-1 dovra at half time. The second half saw the LSE team go for a more attacking formation. Eventually the pressure told, as Georgios Poulis breached SBS defences to hit the back of the net with 5 minutes to play And so to extra time. A ridiculous decision by the referee, deeming that Francesco Recher had tripped up their attacker in the box, resulted in a converted penalty. SBS scored again, and it seemed the LSE attack was out of gas. The defence, which had held steady for so long, were now being dominated. 4-2 down with only 5 minutes of extra time remaining, the re-intro-duction of Andy Sui changed the game. With his sweet left foot he curled in a superb free kick which loannis Avgoustidis 1? bravely headed into the back of the net. Could it be? With 2 minutes remaining, star striker Chris Kubacki hit the post, and then from 1 yard out, sent the rebound crashing wide. Hearts in mouths, it looked like SBS were going to win... but golden boot Kubacki made amends with the very last kick of the game, getting in front of his defender, to poke home past an onrushing keeper, to level the game at 4-4. What ^ drama! And so to penalties. Vikram Damani bravely chose to be the first to step up to the penalty spot..and missed, loannis Avgoustidis, i Iannis Dahak and Chris Kubacki all scored to make it 3-3 after 4 rounds of penalties, with star goalkeeper Oscar Fuentes making a superb save to keep the LSE challenge alive. And so to the final round of penalties, Oscar Fuentes made a super save from the oppositions captain, before Andy Sui stepped up. With his trusted left foot he sent a penalty into the top left comer, as LSE, from a seemingly Liverpool-esque imwinnable position, came back to lift the Challenge Cup! The man of the match award went to Pantelis Thalassinos, whose attacking midfield play caused trouble to their defence throughout the game. Special mention should also go to Iannis Dahak who worked tirelessly down the right wing - Robert Pires would be proud. Also to Professor Dimitri Vayanos and Francesco Recher who were excellent at the back. Thanks go to Pieire Vaysse (MSc Finance and Economics), who bravely volunteered to put his School loyalties to one side and referee the final. Thanks also go to the worthy opponents from SBS, and to the team captain Richard Webb. Better luck next year guys! Gimps draw secures sevenths survival Buchanan & Guest LSE 7th XI 1 GimperiaJ XI 1 Snoweylands After asking Women's Hockey who you had to fuck around here to get an article in The Beaver, I submitted with the help of Rupert my first and last article. LSE and Imperial have always enjoyed a healthy rivalry. Indeed, our rivalry with King's is bom out of the basic fact that they resent their collective destiny to clean our toilets; our rivalry with Imperial is tinged with intellectual respect. Since their accession to the ULU leagues. Imperial's finest scientists have attempted to create a player with the step over of George Illiopoulous, the finishing of Chris Kyriacou and the sexual prowess of Owain 'talk to my lawyers' Bevan only to succeed in producing a genetic abomination in midfield. The previous week, the Sevenths' team juggernaut had been stopped by Rich 'Cider Boy' Morrow's tractor of a Sixths team, leaving us needing a draw to guarantee survival. The occasion was given added emotion by the fact it was the last time such Seventh team legends as 'Uncle' Todd 'the Rod' Buchanan, Raihan, Mike Hales and Kamikaze would step out on the hallowed turf of Fortress Berrylands. The match was barely five minutes old when Kamikaze slotted home goal number fifteen of the season from an angle tighter than a Scottish society scholarship. The Imperial defence later blamed the goal on a sighting of a real girl, the likes which haven't been seen at the Kensington-based uni- versity since 1956. The mid-field once again battled away with Chris Chapman's harrowing of the Imperial players like a hack on Houghton Street. Unfortunately for the Sevenths, Imperial struck back with a goal about as likely as Dewji winning an election (or so we thought), leaving the score at 1-1 going into the half-time break. The second half was dreary (unlike the second half of this article), we had a few chance they had a few chances you get the picture thankfully for us and readers alike we went to the Tuns and got ripped to the tits on the Entrepreneurial Society's ineptness. So I shall spare you the finer details of a goalless second half and instead talk about the real reason for being in the Sevenths (other than the email banter); getting wankered with your team and singing disco classics. It's at this point (the Saturday morning after the Beaver deadline) that I realise the game was incredibly dull and I can't remember any of Wednesday night other than the bit in a council estate, in Thamesmead. Gee what a week to pick to write your first article. The night kicked off with some Loughborough twats selling us a table for £50. You might think that sounds a lot but it included a paper table cloth, so Mike Hales was sold (that is to say he was sold on the idea and not literally sold to raise funds for the table, which we did consider). In fairness, paper table cloths are magic. The Sevenths assembled like knights of the 'two tables pushed together' for the last supper, they were all there and low it was good. Calow's flock stormed through 'Young Hearts Run Free' and apparently the following happened: a rendition so awful of 'Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone' not seen since Will Young got through the heats at Pop Idol, a player lifting competition, Fresher's first taste of tequila, an amazing nm from John Terry and a fucking auction where Rupert learnt the yalue of buying in bulk. Surreal shit: Calow led (I really doubt this) his tribe and Rupert 'to be fair' Guest's newly acquired women's football team in the exodus to Wallabout (which is how you speU it on a SonyEricson). Inside Nick poached Rupert's right winger and gave her a full physical before agreeing a fee, all three have to attend an FA tribunal to determine whether there was any tapping up involved in the deal, Ni.ckv;maiiit®ii^s it was all and no tapping. Bi" conclusion (it's the best way to finish a shit essay), when the music's over it's time to leave, like the turning leaves of Autumn and the LSEFC careers of many. Walkabout and the season ended. I think I speak for all who have played their last game at Berrylands that it only hits you later how fucking much you'll miss it. When I say later I mean after the physical aches of the match have gone, and the hangover has gone and then the returning physical aches which never really went away you just numbed them with alcohol have gone, only then on Saturday moming writing an article in bed at 12:36 does it hit you. Todd, Mike, Chris, Iqbal and Raihan would like to thank South West trains for their woeful ticket inspecting over the years ensuring that those from disadvantaged backgrounds can jjM^^the game they love. mi SPORTS ^BeaverSports 114 March 2006 21 Women's Squasli Squash squeeze way into final Nat Husdan We've been quiet the last few weeks, not because victory has evaded us, of course, but because I wanted to save all for a grand finale! Ok, ok, I've just been fucking lazy. When I found out that Ladies Squash were in the running for 'Team of the Year' I became desperate to play the ULU cup final before the AU ball to tiy and guarantee the title. So when we were due to play UCL in the serni-final 2 weeks ago I cheekily rang their captain to see whether she would mind giving us a walkover (we'd already hammered their team twice this term and I always look out for the opposition -saving them getting egg on their face an' all) but she answered er, no, they wanted to play challenging matches to improve their team. Improve their team!?! Get a sodding coach instead of using us and putting off our final and crowning glory for another week. So yes we were forced to play, and yes we were forced to make them cry like babies. We won piss easy: 5 to us, nil to UCL. Quelle surprise. A day later myself and our famous no 3 Ridhima travelled all the way to bloody Bath -beautiful and all that but 2 hours too far away when all you want to do is be dancing like a twat in Walkabout. Any of you lucky enough to have 'the squash knowledge' will now be thinking, how can you turn up to a match with 2 players when it's best to 5 matches? Yes, we're remarkably arrogant. And, they're remarkably stupid. They told us the day before that 1 of their players was ill, thus we had a win at number 5 before we'd even got there. Little did they know we pick a random example, ha ha), we're also going to win the ULU cup. A double whammy that no LSE squash ladies in history have ever done. So congratulations to an awesome team; Sandy, Ridhima, Julia and Jang, we've got 5 Colours, 5 ULU league medals, the ULU cup (almost) and the Brian Whitworth award between us; that's fuck loads of silver plated stainless steel. Well done, you're my team of the year, unless any of you lose tomorrow, as let me be clear at this point: if you get beat, you'll get beat. XXX A' . dS. Jt , could only get 3 players together anyway, so they would have won at 4 and 5 from the beginning if they hadn't been so sillily achingly polite. This is life and death 1st team squash, not a bloody tea party! So with a win at number 5 secured under our belt I gave the others the day off, secure in the knowledge that me and Ridhima are pretty fucking amazing players, and yes we won, the 1st round of the BUSA cup, 3-2 woo. The day after this naff squash spiel comes out we will be playing the ULU cup final against the scum that are King's. We beat them 4-1 in a Ipagiip match not, long ago T won't tell you who lost on our team, it's unfair - OK, YES it was me. But never again. So basically you can all take it as a given that not only did we win the ULU league unbeaten (and in squash you can't draw by the way, so unbeaten means you actually won every match, unlike in say...football just to Women's Football King's destroyed by rampant Beavers Sarah Johnson LSE 13 King's 2 Berrylands You know it's going to be an interesting game when you're on platform 5 waiting for the 12.27 to Berrylands and half the team are missing. So instead of dwelling on the fact we only had 8 players, we spent the journey trying to get rid of hangovers and telling jokes -Emily's "Why are cowgirls bow legged? ... Because cowboys like to eat with their hats on!" was voted the best and so got to appear in here. As we arrived at the fortress, our spirits were lifted when we convinced Mo to raid the lost property bag for some boots and stuff some newspaper down her socks so she could play. With her on the pitch we were level on numbers with King's who haven't fielded 11 players all season. It took all of 5 minutes for SPORTS WOMAN OF THE YEAR (Luisa) to get her first of the day. She got another 3 in the first half and Cristina scored to make sure King's would get another trashing by LSE!! Alison was solid in mid-field and helped make sure King's rarely got out of their own half. We were boosted midway through the 1st half by the arrival of Jade (fresh from walking the streets the morning after the night before!) and so the onslaught continued in the 2nd half. Erancesca (after having a dozen chances) finally broke her goal drought of the day, and Lu continued her scoring ways to put her total tally for the day on 8!! So at 10-0 we were starting to feel a little sorry for King's (who were playing genuinely well and didn't really deserve the whipping they were getting). With 10 minutes to go we decided to give Asha a run out of goal, and hand the gloves over to Lu (who with blades of grass taller than her looked a little out of place). The tactical switch led to King's getting 2 goals and us appreciating just how good Asha is at her job! Emily made sure King's didn't get too excited by scoring 2 goals, and Cristina netted her 2nd of the day to ensure we won with ease!! Laura (who had done a brilliant job helping out in defence for most of the match) was unlucky not to get on the score sheet herself. Jade almost got a goal as well (even if it would've been an own goal) but a clearance on the line by Mo prevented her from a moment of glory/shame!! With only 1 defeat this season (although we do still have 2 league games to fit in sometime this term thanks to those Royal Holloway inmates messing around with our fixture dates) and a place in the cup final, the AU ball gave us the chance to celebrate what has been a fantastic season. It was a great night (apart from me getting so dmnk that I came home minus a lip gloss, camera and half my liver) and was the perfect way to end the best year in the history of the LSE WFC! GO BEAVERS!!!! Mixed Badminton Shuttlecocks and silverware Dan Wright After I reported on the men's first team's solid start to the season way back in November I have been inundated with questions as to why I haven't reported since -obviously a complete lie because no one gives a shit! Well, the reason is that we haven't won a match since. Two hard-fought draws against Hertfordshire and Queen Mary was about as good as it got in a season which resulted in relegation from the BUSA first division and an embarrassing 8-0 defeat in our last match (my first in three years at LSE and in my last men's match!). So, I could moan and whinge, blame our defeats on bad luck and insist the better team lost, a la Jose Mourinho, but you've heard it all before from him and it was boring (and not based on the facts) the first time. Instead I thought I'd tell you about the remarkable season that the mixed badminton team is having in ULU competi tions. Firstly, this wa; only our second year of' taking the ULU League' seriously. After last year's" promotion from division one you'd think that life in the" premier league would be tough but you'd be ignoring the fact that the LSE badminton team are no Sunderland! Apart from our mental aberration against Royal Holloway (I have; now lost twice in that shit hole in two years) we remain unbeaten and on course to win what I believe will be our first ULU League title! Our cup run started back in December, away to GKT, a 6-3 victory was secured. Our couple of days after the Kings opponents in the semi finals "incident". _____: • '"ere due to Our 9-' ' ' be victory merely rubbed saff into their wounds as we marched into the quarter finals. Next up, another away game, this time against Queen Mary. A little tougher this time, especially due to a shocking performance by myself against one of their pairs, but a the winner of the St Bart's V Imperial match...we were quietly (well loudly actually) confident. It turned out that they were so incompetent that they couldn't get their match organised so we were given a bye into the final where we would face UCL, who we had already beaten 7-2 in our first league. So, the day of the final came and we were LSE's only representatives at the indoor finals weekend. Once we got ^going it became clear that ^it might be a bit tougher ^than I expecte; mainly tdue to the fact I was labout as useful as IGeorge W Bush. Most jof the credit must go fto Kok Tjun and Char l^who won all three of ^their games to help us 'into a 4-3 lead going into "the last two games. Raj and Viola were unlucky not to win at least one of their games if not two. And despite my failings, myself and Kendy managed to win when it mattered the most, to secure a 5-4 win and ensure UCL didn't get to keep the cup (well they did actually because they forgot to bring it...and they still haven't handed it over the bastards!) The win cost me a fair bit having promised to buy everyone a drink if we won, but it was worth it, as we celebrated in a local dingy pub. Well done and thanks not only to those involved in the final (Kendy, Kok Tjun, Char, Raj, Viola and myself), but also John and Banfang that took part in the demolition of GKT. Lets hope they can retain it without me next year. Finally, "We are the champions, champions of ULU!" 22 iBeaverl 14 March 2006 SPORTS AU Ball The AU Colours Ball BeaverSports sis; B^yerSports s? ~"RW BcayerSports Two w«t«h out, F»w- Army U going upl Hock^'; Stamina m'erSlaDiitoiilvse<^i9iii ' ifWi. ¦ Precious Little Of Note! M t» Wfort ^1S« I&GICIDEli LSEfccnti.negklck'as, Pf,' iooh- Hfi u<;paM Sio SsyEifOoJs '4 Sh« IMHIBKIII X V'"' ^ ^ >4# ^ I . ___ From Pirate and his wench, through K-Lo and Jen, to Deus and Sancha: the ever-evolving BeaverSports m >Vtn }>m»ei hndgfs in<'liSp io ptay-on i itocko' ({u awil in rwenst* USh iU»«i.-ibali B(.-av-ei'» Umocc l>sck. siuii piii-iii Cui coRunue to sma^n up strand roJy fi4. sports sports nouioa, Miutoti tor st\\t{y nm basmn^i '^nos u s {«i> nnottt Me«'ntM s nxiemptioix. yHi? tnnu; a . •. ... sports _ ULUS'"* Hockey stunnew are fine with nine m Sod King's, we're off to Essex t- W- - ii - SJcwnths slush«iU as sublime sixes scc^re suniv«I iBeaverl 14 March 2006 123 ULU round-up LSE leave Polys for dead in ULU As the sporting season draws to a close, it's time for a quick reflection on the LSE teams' fortunes in the ULU and BUSA leagues. At the AU ball on Wednesday, the Men's Football 1st XI won 'Team of the Year', mainly for their outstanding performance in the ULU leagues - unprecendently going an entire season unbeaten. Women's tennis have also been impressive this year; on the table to the right you'll see that their win record stands at 100%. I'm no statistician, but I think that means they've won every game. Below is a collection of some of the impressive performances from LSE teams, with plenty of top three finishes. Considering the small size and large geekiness of LSE, our sporting prowess is something we can be particularly proud of. Across all competitions our record against so-called 'rivals' King's college is frankly just silly - over the past 5 months the Strand Poly has been raped, pillaged and ridiculed by LSE sports teams. Their existence is hard to justify. It's of course important to note that ULU take 6-7 years to update the league tables, so some information may actually be different to what is represented below and to the left. In those instances the LSE teams should be ranked higher and the shoddy Polytechnics who can't afford us should probably be lower. Just so you know. Women's tennis - BUSA South Eastern Conference 2London I 3 Universitv of Kent Wotnen's 1st -4 L^niversltv CoHsae London Woffien's 2nfJ is Roval Veterlnsrv Coiiecie Womerrs 1st 6 U-iiversitv ot Greenwich Women's 1gt 7 Universftv of Kent Women's 2nd 8 Canterbury Christ Church University Wotnen's 1st P W D L F A Diff Pts . ss"¥?S'S''W2F 37 16 : 11 12 ^ -8 12* : 8 8 . -40 0* -15 -2* : -30 -3* * - poird^ deduct&d/awarded; 7 5 11 53 i? 7 4 0 3 40 29 5 2 0 3 21 23 6 2 2 2 33 2? 4 0 0 4 0 40 5 1 1 3 17 32 5 1 0 4 10 40 Women's football - ULU Premier Division •1 Ouvs. Kings ^ St Thoma?' Womer.',s 1 s ULU 3 Roval Holiowav. Unlversftv of London Women's 1 s ULU 4 Queen Marv. Universitv of London Women's Is ULU 5 UnivarsitY Lonv^ 1 ^ U|.,U 8 Kinci's Coilegs. London Women's Is ULU P WDL F A Diff Pts ; 9 S G1 77 21 5S 24 ; 7 4 1 2 2815 13 16* i 9 3 06 35 52 -17 9 ; 7 / 0 5 27 2:^ B* ! 7 0 0 7 6 86 -30 -6* : = points deducted/awarded Women's hockey - ULU Division Two 2 St Oeorae's hlo 3s HU 5 Imperial Coileae. London Women's 2s ULU 6 Roval HollQwav. Universitv of London Women's 2s ULU P W D L F A Diff Rs : 32 l||' 10 , 6 3 3 , 0 * =» points deducted/awarded 4 j 1 0 40 3 j7 4 2 0 2 5 26 -21 3 1 02 S 15 -7 5 1 0 4 3 24 -21 3 0 0 3 0 20 -20 Netball - ULU Division Four 1 Oiii ^ Thomv.^' As UUi 2 Rova} Free & University College Medical School Women's I \ '->UiU 5 Roval Hollo way. Universitv of LondCMi 5s ULU 6 imperial CoHeae. London 3s ULU 7 London School of Econprnics 4s ULU 8 King's Colieae. London 3s ULU 9 Goldsmiths College 2s ULU 10 Queen Marv. Universitv of London 4s ULU PWOL F A Diff Rs 8 8 00223 84 m 24 9603179131 48 18 9' I :• "/ IS 9 5 04200171 29 15 8 4 04136152 -16 12 9 4 05147194 -47 12 9 3 06160192 -32 9 9 2 07 98 153 -55 8 9 1 OS 90 212-122 3 = noints -deducted/awarded Men's football - ULU Weekend One 2 Queen Marv. Universitv of London Men's Is ULU 3 Roval Hollowav. Universitv of London Men's 1s ULU 4 L'f^ivers^c/ Lc-ryjof) i IJLU : 5 Roval Free & Universitv College Medical School Men's Is ULU 6 Imperial College. London Men's 1 s ULU i ? l\inq'sCol!gcie. London Men's 1s LIU 8 London School of Economics Men's 2s ULU 5 St Bartholemews & Roval London Men's 1 U"UJ 10 School 01 Oriental & Ai'rican Studies Men's i ULU 11 Imperial College. London Men's 2s ULU 12 University Colteqs London Merrs 2s ULU P WDL F A Diff Pt? 10 5 41 2711 16 19 : 9 5 312312 11 18 . 10 5 3221 i? 4 IS 9 4 231617 -1 17* 11 4 342014 6 15 . 9 3 332S 22 3 1 2 ; 11 2 381219 -7 3 : 10 2 35 9 16 -7 9 10 3 071330-17 9 10 2 1 7 6 32 -26 7 9 2 1 61334 -15 4' points deducted/awarded Men's table tennis - BUSA South Eastern Conference ! 1 University of Brighton Men's 1st P W D L F A Diff Rs 6 5 0 1 58 39 19 21* : 3 University Coliege London f^en's 1 si 6 3 0 3 49 50 -1 15* ¦ 5 Brunei Universilv West Lcfviion Men'-s I sts 4^ 0 0 4 3 62 -59 -12*^ . *« points deducted/awarded Men's football - ULU Division One 1 Goldsmiths College Men's 1 s ULU 3 University Coiigge Londor= Mart's 5s ULU 4 Guvs. Kings & St Thomas' Men's 2s ULU 5 Kjn3's,Colj,s^&,,LQnd^^ 6 Roval Hollowav. Universftv of London Men's 4s ULU 7 Imperial College. London Men's 5s ULU 8 Royal Veterinary College Men's 1 s ULU 9 Roval Free & University College Medical School Men's 2s ULU 10Univgr^^vCGilgo